2025-10-20 — Akasha

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Oh, the joining sound is spooky now because Halloween.

Gamemaster:Good talking to you too.

Gamemaster:Oh, hey.

Gamemaster:Another person.

Gamemaster:Can you say words?

Johnny:Hello?

Gamemaster:Okay, good.

Gamemaster:Because I've been in the voice chat with Jorge for a few minutes now, and he wasn't saying anything.

Gamemaster:And then you joined, and then you weren't saying anything.

Johnny:Always.

Gamemaster:And so I thought I was crazy.

Gamemaster:But it was Jorge that's crazy.

Johnny:It's always Jorge.

Johnny:That guy.

Johnny:Josh, how was the Bahamas?

Gamemaster:It was good.

Gamemaster:I sat on a beach for a week straight.

Gamemaster:I'm not even that tan because I dove into a bucket of sunscreen every day.

Gamemaster:It was a good time.

Argyle:I like your haircut.

Johnny:It's cool they have buckets big enough for that.

Johnny:It was BYOB.

Gamemaster:No, I brought my own.

Gamemaster:What do you mean?

Gamemaster:Do you take me for an amateur that doesn't vacation with bucket?

Johnny:Thank you, Jorge.

Johnny:Jorge, how was your mini honeymoon?

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:It was good.

Argyle:I went to Montreal.

Argyle:And have you been to Montreal?

Johnny:No, I've been to Quebec.

Argyle:So Montreal feels like France run by nice Americans.

Argyle:It's great.

Argyle:Everyone goes, bonjour.

Argyle:And then they'll speak whichever one you could speak.

Argyle:We stayed in old Montreal.

Argyle:So there's like cobblestone roads.

Argyle:Two of the top five best restaurants in North America are in Montreal.

Johnny:it's okay yeah

Argyle:We bought some art.

Argyle:Just generally good time.

Gamemaster:What kind of art?

Argyle:I bought a big one that might not fit in the apartment and we might have to just put in storage until we get a house.

Argyle:Which is, I think it's like 40 by 40, but it's a ship.

Argyle:It's really nice.

Gamemaster:It inches feet.

Johnny:It's an actual boat.

Argyle:Yes!

Argyle:It's four stories by four stories.

Argyle:And then we got this other...

Gamemaster:It's a one to one replica.

Argyle:We had another more fun, modernist version of a post-modernist version of a flowerpot thing.

Argyle:And then there was another small one.

Argyle:Part of the thing is that it's $7.

Argyle:It's $7 USD for every $10 Canadian.

Johnny:Thank you.

Argyle:And then it was just so efficient to buy things.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:And then also...

Argyle:The artists, at least in the galleries we went to in Canada, like, actually reasonably price their art, unlike the artists in the galleries I've been to in New York.

Argyle:Like, I've seen paintings that are, like, 40 by 40 in New York, and they're, like, 30 grand.

Argyle:And they're just like, well, I spent three months on it.

Argyle:And I'm just like, that's not my problem.

Argyle:Also, why are you an artist who's unknown allotting for 10K a month?

Argyle:That's fucking crazy.

Argyle:So...

Johnny:Every time I go to New York.

Gamemaster:I mean, if I could get away with 10K a month in art, I'd do it.

Argyle:I remember when I was in Iceland, I went to Reykjavik.

Johnny:Every time I go to New York, I'm like, oh, an art gallery.

Johnny:Maybe I'll stop in.

Johnny:I walk in and go, this isn't for me.

Johnny:Walk out.

Anzu:I went to .

Argyle:I saw a gallery for photographs.

Argyle:They were printing a nice print.

Argyle:But the photographs were like 40 to 60.

Argyle:And I'm just like, it's a photograph.

Argyle:I don't know if at that price point they're giving you like...

Argyle:the rights to it i doubt it but like that is just so crazy they're like here's 40 to 50 grand for a photograph yeah

Benny:Oh, 40, 50 grand?

Anzu:Grand?

Johnny:I also had that question.

Johnny:I was like, is it

Benny:So when you said they might give you their rights, I was just like, $40?

Benny:No.

Benny:For 40 grand, I was just like, they might be.

Benny:They should.

Benny:I don't know.

Benny:What?

Benny:Like...

Gamemaster:I mean, I assume purchasing, I don't know if they, they wouldn't give you the digital file.

Argyle:No, no, they're not giving you the tiff or anything like that.

Argyle:But... Yeah, no, I... It was crazy.

Gamemaster:But it's got to be the same as purchasing a piece of art.

Benny:Is it a run?

Benny:Is it like, this is one photo, we printed it once, you could purchase one of these?

Benny:Or like, we have 40 of these in the back.

Benny:Oh, then the price makes sense.

Gamemaster:It's like an in-person physical NFT.

Johnny:Thank you.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:It's actually cheap.

Benny:We're early.

Benny:We're very early to this.

Anzu:Now I get it.

Argyle:And then, yeah, I walked into an art gallery once in New York.

Argyle:It was near Chelsea.

Argyle:And it wasn't even that, like, fancy.

Argyle:Like, when you walk in and you're like, holy shit.

Argyle:Like, this is really fancy.

Argyle:And they're like, 30 grand.

Argyle:Well, it took me three months.

Gamemaster:As best I can tell, you had an argument with one artist specifically who was asking too much for their $130,000 piece of art, and so you hate all art now.

Argyle:Not my problem.

Argyle:No, no, no, no, no.

Argyle:I've seen this.

Gamemaster:I mean...

Argyle:I've seen this in other galleries and then also on Instagram.

Johnny:Jorge are generally not priced for the average person to buy it that's the sad thing about art

Argyle:People are constantly selling this stuff and then they love to go, I'm not pricing it for the average person to buy it.

Benny:I'm not pricing it to make a living off of it.

Argyle:It's like, all right, guys.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:I'm pricing it to have a big number in front of what I've made.

Argyle:I have...

Benny:I don't want to sell this.

Anzu:Well, the higher you sell it for, the more you could sell the next one for.

Argyle:I've only seen that argument... That's true.

Benny:Well, that's why they want to charge so much.

Benny:They're like, $30,000, what's the most you've sold for?

Argyle:I just want to skip it.

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Benny:$100?

Benny:You're like, okay, well...

Argyle:I will say, though, I've only seen that argument one time on Instagram, and I've actually been like, wow, I actually really respect it.

Johnny:you

Argyle:And it was for this guy that sells milk and then beef.

Argyle:But the cattle he raises, he doesn't give them corn or grass as like the main part of their diet.

Argyle:He gives them like fruit and vegetables.

Argyle:Because he has like a deal with like a local like juicing company or something like that.

Argyle:So like...

Argyle:they obviously still eat grass, but they like, he then shows all the test scores and like his milk has like all these vitamins that most cows don't have because they're eating all these fruits.

Anzu:Oh, boy.

Argyle:And then he's just like, Hey, if you want this, this is how much it is.

Argyle:And people are like, can you lower it?

Argyle:Like $20 pound of ground beef's crazy.

Argyle:And he's just like, physically can't.

Argyle:Thank you.

Johnny:Listen, man, if you should be a video of a cow peeling a banana and eating it and it wasn't AI, I'd pay $30 for some beef.

Argyle:Yeah, that being said, I do have a new business idea.

Johnny:Is it a farm where you feed only bananas to the cows?

Argyle:Close.

Argyle:It's a farm, but we don't have normal cows.

Argyle:We have water buffaloes.

Johnny:Okay, so we're in Thailand.

Argyle:No, no, no, no.

Argyle:They can be raised on Long Island or upstate New York.

Gamemaster:Sorry, your idea, your business idea is a ranch?

Johnny:Tanner, why have you not started getting water bottles?

Benny:But they can't be raised in New Jersey or Pennsylvania.

Argyle:Some are and some aren't.

Argyle:No, no, no.

Argyle:So here's the thing.

Argyle:Here's the thing.

Argyle:First of all, I got this idea because I saw some like animal sanctuary that has a bunch of, or it's a cattle farm, but then they also rescued water buffalo and he was adorable and he like hides in a pond and then they got two other friends.

Johnny:Okay.

Argyle:But anyway, turns out buffalo, water buffalo milk has a lot more protein and apparently tastes even better than regular milk.

Argyle:Apparently it's like even sweeter.

Argyle:So like, I don't know the macros, but apparently it's delicious.

Argyle:And then the meat's better too.

Argyle:So now we just got to start convincing.

Anzu:I don't... Like, the masses to start eating water buffalo?

Benny:The other people in this call.

Argyle:Yeah, because this people don't have 1%.

Gamemaster:Water buffalo milk has almost double the calorie count.

Anzu:I don't have a lot of land.

Argyle:Josh, that's because you don't have 1% water buffalo milk.

Gamemaster:Buffalo milk has almost double the calories, and it's almost entirely from the increased fat content.

Gamemaster:It has almost no increase in protein compared to regular milk.

Argyle:Is this buffalo or water buffalo?

Benny:He drinking butter.

Gamemaster:Um...

Anzu:Yeah, because the water buffalo milk is diluted.

Gamemaster:I might be looking at buffalo.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry, it's the water buffalo is different?

Gamemaster:One second.

Argyle:Water buffalo.

Gamemaster:Water buffalo specifically.

Benny:want to do you want to see my words my worst purchase but regular milk is not from buffaloes i don't have the blur effect on why is it doing this

Anzu:It's like a... Yeah.

Gamemaster:Calories in water buffalo milk.

Gamemaster:No, water buffalo milk is the same.

Johnny:Is it one of them?

Anzu:Uh-oh.

Gamemaster:Water buffalo milk is almost identical to regular buffalo milk, as best I can tell.

Gamemaster:I understand that regular milk is not from buffaloes.

Argyle:Josh it has more calcium and protein.

Gamemaster:Okay, so 9.2 grams per cup of water buffalo versus the 8 grams per cup of protein in a regular cow.

Johnny:Wait, I still want to see where Jorge is going.

Argyle:I'm seeing different numbers.

Johnny:We only got halfway through the pitch.

Johnny:Okay, Jorge.

Gamemaster:Show me your numbers.

Gamemaster:And also, I need to reiterate this, your business idea is own a ranch.

Anzu:Noah... I think he did get through the whole pitch.

Argyle:No, I didn't get through the whole page.

Benny:Oh, this is a PowerPoint?

Benny:He's got a PowerPoint.

Argyle:I didn't get through the whole page.

Benny:Let's go.

Argyle:Then I'm going to start a social media campaign and then I'm going to get all of my family, the ones that look even more Dominican, and then we're going to do this whole thing about how water buffaloes are good for you and then all of that.

Johnny:He's ready to go.

Argyle:Yeah, look at this.

Argyle:Look at these great metrics.

Johnny:Wait, is your pitch going to be, as Dominicans, we can tell you that water buffalo milk is better?

Gamemaster:This buffalo.

Gamemaster:4.8% protein.

Argyle:No, no, no.

Argyle:We're not going to say Dominican.

Argyle:We're just going to put them in front of the screen.

Argyle:And then people will buy it.

Argyle:People will buy it.

Anzu:Because of the implication.

Benny:What do the percentages mean?

Argyle:Because of the implication.

Benny:My favorite one is the last one.

Gamemaster:What do you mean?

Gamemaster:It's 4.8% protein.

Benny:Cheese yield per liter, 20%.

Benny:What are you talking about?

Gamemaster:It kind of makes me feel like they're just bad at making cheese.

Johnny:Calcium mineral is higher.

Gamemaster:That they could get, like, twice as much cheese out of the buffalo milk.

Argyle:the other problem the other problem the other problem is the other problem is so it turns out you need like three to five water buffaloes to produce the same amount of milk as like one dairy cow so it's like super inefficient but no

Benny:It has to be by weight.

Johnny:It's higher.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:Yeah, because it's so intensive because it has double the fat and double the protein per fucking ounce.

Argyle:Well, it's also because there hasn't been a whole multi-billion dollar industry about just optimizing their milk yields.

Benny:I'll say that's speculation, but yeah.

Argyle:There's been a lot of breeding to make cows breed dairy.

Gamemaster:But we do have genetically modified in that we have bred for cows that have larger milk production.

Johnny:So.

Benny:Yeah, but we don't have GMO cows at the level of Monsanto corn.

Argyle:I'm not even saying that.

Benny:Corn yields are up...

Benny:That's true.

Benny:That, I think, would make up the double difference.

Argyle:Yeah, that's what I mean.

Argyle:We've been doing a lot of breeding, even before the US.

Gamemaster:Yeah, and we haven't domesticated water buffalo and bred them for hundreds of years to make them get more milk.

Argyle:You might want to take that back, because apparently it's big in Asia.

Gamemaster:Big where?

Argyle:Water buffaloes are big in Asia, because farming.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:I have big scales.

Gamemaster:At what Scale?

Johnny:Wait, wait.

Gamemaster:Compared to the American dairy industry.

Benny:They have to weigh the cows.

Argyle:no, no, no, Josh, Josh, we don't want Scale.

Argyle:We want scarcity so it's cooler.

Argyle:And then if we can convince some fancy hipster place to produce, you know, to use our butter, our butter's going to have so much more fat in it.

Argyle:It's going to be so decadent and we'll start selling.

Johnny:Butter is pure fat.

Johnny:Butter is... What?

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:It's not pure fat.

Argyle:It's like 70 to 80% fat.

Gamemaster:But you, like, control the fat content of the butter when you make the butter.

Johnny:It's actually going to be hyper brother.

Argyle:Not fully.

Argyle:Depends on the cow.

Benny:How?

Benny:I was going to agree with you.

Benny:I don't know if it depends on the cow.

Benny:But anyways, this is my worst purchase.

Benny:I should have not bought it because... Yeah, but no, no, no.

Gamemaster:What is that?

Gamemaster:Kefir?

Argyle:Does that buffalo milk?

Benny:It's kefir style.

Benny:Oh, you're like, oh, kefir style milk?

Argyle:Oh.

Benny:It says yogurt on it?

Benny:Sure.

Benny:It's a cashew and coconut drink.

Benny:It's the worst tasting thing on the planet.

Argyle:milligrams

Benny:There was no other kefir left besides this, and I should have known.

Benny:That this fucking tastes like ass.

Johnny:But it's got 20 billion something in it.

Benny:I'm so mad.

Benny:Yeah, it's got 20 billion CFUs.

Benny:That's more fucking... What are the units for vitamins?

Benny:No, IUs.

Benny:Internationally.

Benny:I take 50,000 IUs of fucking vitamin D.

Benny:Look, there's bacteria in here.

Benny:They put bacteria in cashew and coconuts blended, dude.

Benny:Drink it.

Benny:It tastes like strawberry.

Benny:Totally tastes like strawberry.

Gamemaster:Does it taste like strawberry?

Benny:It tastes like ass, dude.

Gamemaster:That doesn't answer my question.

Gamemaster:I don't know what you think strawberry tastes like.

Benny:Strawberry tastes good.

Gamemaster:Oh, okay.

Benny:And ass doesn't taste good.

Benny:I have to complete the logical triangle.

Argyle:But yeah, the quality of the cow really affects the quality of the butter.

Johnny:I think you would hear Mike fighting with himself on whether or not to finish that sentence.

Gamemaster:Important.

Benny:I'm so upset.

Argyle:So we get water buffalo.

Argyle:All this is on the pretense that water buffaloes will make good butter.

Argyle:But if they do, oh, we're so in business.

Gamemaster:I found somebody selling it on Amazon and people are complaining that it's arriving in the mail melted.

Argyle:We're so in business.

Benny:Oh, Gordon.

Benny:According to the numbers you showed, they do.

Benny:Because they have a higher fat and protein content, it's like the cheese yield is higher because you need less milk to make the same amount of block of protein and fat.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:And the cool part is a lot of

Gamemaster:So, you know.

Anzu:why don't they live in a cooler climate?

Anzu:I mean, that was their mistake.

Benny:Yeah.

Benny:Cooler climb.

Anzu:Mike, thank you for holding your cheese up before so we had a visual reference.

Anzu:That was actually very helpful.

Benny:Yeah, because we've been talking about cheese, so I figured... See, now the background's in the way.

Argyle:Was that like Mike's Air Force?

Benny:I have to put it in front of my face.

Gamemaster:Surely you could use your hands to break off a piece.

Johnny:Oh.

Benny:Am I holding cheese or no?

Benny:So I don't know if you guys noticed, there was bite marks because I didn't want to get a knife.

Benny:I was hungry last night.

Benny:You know, I've now had three separate AirPods that I've not taken a bite out of.

Argyle:You know this story, Noah?

Benny:So I think I've done a very good job.

Anzu:Oh, geez.

Johnny:you

Anzu:All right.

Benny:Do you ever fall asleep with your AirPods in and then eat pretzels in your dream and wake up, then you have to go to the Apple store to get one of them replaced?

Argyle:you you

Gamemaster:That happens to everyone.

Benny:Have you ever done that, Noah?

Gamemaster:You're fine.

Benny:Have you ever been like, wow, these AirPods are so cool and the noise canceling is so powerful and you pass the fuck out and then you have a dream you're eating pretzels and then you wake up and you have to go to the Apple store and then you don't answer the guy's questions at the Apple store and you just stare at him when he tries to talk about the cause?

Johnny:Yeah, that's a pretty common occurrence, I think.

Benny:Has that ever happened?

Johnny:I hate it when that happens.

Benny:The guy's like, yeah.

Benny:I was asking him questions about Apple.

Benny:He's like, yeah, for this one it looks like...

Benny:a dog bit it um and i just didn't confirm i just stared at him and he's like okay so yeah we'll just replace this one and then we'll get you out of here and i'm like that'd be sick thank you yeah everyone loves pretzels

Argyle:All right, I'm ready, but I just wanted to make 1 closing remark.

Anzu:Oh, my God.

Johnny:It's a pretty common thing, though, you know?

Anzu:Could happen to anybody.

Johnny:Who doesn't love a pretzel?

Argyle:I'm reading this and I quote, Buffalo whey may offer a superior nutrient profile to cow whey.

Benny:The nutrient profile of whey... The nutrient profile of whey is, please just give me complete amino acids and as much as possible.

Anzu:No way.

Argyle:This is from an AI summary, but also it could be, it may.

Benny:I don't know what... It's got, like, vitamin... But I'm not drinking whey for, like, the vitamin C. Do they have better ratios of aminos?

Argyle:No, no, different ways have better nutritional values.

Argyle:No, but some of them have better aminos.

Gamemaster:Maybe you should be.

Argyle:Some of them have better aminos.

Argyle:You know.

Argyle:Yeah, apparently.

Gamemaster:They've just got a little bit of extra guanine in there.

Johnny:No way.

Argyle:But it's also weird because I'm pretty sure the way they... The way they rate whey is based off the cheese, I believe.

Gamemaster:Tyrosine.

Argyle:Like, you send the sample of the cheese from the cow, and I think that's how they rate the whey.

Johnny:That was Tanner's joke.

Benny:It's like when you're checking if cocaine is good.

Johnny:I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:No, that's how you check if paint is good, too.

Argyle:oh

Benny:You cut into the top, you stick your finger and you put it on your gums instead of in your nose.

Benny:There's a different way of checking.

Benny:The gums are the cheese of the way nose coke.

Johnny:Did you say if cocaine is good or if paint is good?

Johnny:Okay.

Benny:Cocaine.

Anzu:But it did sound like paint, by the way.

Benny:Someone hands you something at Home Depot, you just fucking pierce the top of it, stick your finger, cut your finger on the fucking jagged lid, fucking rub your bloody finger with white paint all over your mouth and go, yeah, this is good.

Benny:Check me out.

Gamemaster:Hmm.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:Well, now it's red paint.

Argyle:Have you guys seen Deep Cover, the movie?

Johnny:That sounds kind of funny.

Argyle:I think that is one of the best movies made this year.

Argyle:It feels as if you're watching three people play D&D.

Anzu:oh I think I saw the trailer

Argyle:And the premise is it's three people who do improv comedy that are now going undercover.

Argyle:Like, for cops.

Argyle:I have it on my Plex server if anyone wants an invite.

Argyle:That's not Josh.

Argyle:I wouldn't be... Dude, I didn't want to insult you by claiming that my Plex would be better.

Gamemaster:I know that's because I have my own Plex server, but I felt very insulted for a second there.

Johnny:That's a creepy cat.

Gamemaster:Your Plex might be better, I don't know.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:So if any of you guys want an invite... Yeah, it has their name on it.

Anzu:Orlando Bloom.

Anzu:And Sean Bean.

Gamemaster:And Nate from Ted Lasso.

Argyle:Yeah.

Anzu:It's on Amazon Prime.

Argyle:I'm serious.

Johnny:Wow.

Gamemaster:Does Sean Bean die?

Benny:or a link that I can give you that will give you viruses.

Gamemaster:Is it a spoiler if you tell us if Sean Bean dies?

Argyle:There's also a cocaine scene, which is what made me think of this.

Argyle:So it is definitely our comedy.

Gamemaster:Or Jorge's Plex server.

Gamemaster:Ooh.

Gamemaster:That's appealing.

Benny:Every 30 seconds, you'll have to click off of a Jerkmate ad.

Argyle:Mike says,

Anzu:He prefers to see them just to...

Gamemaster:Do you not have an ad blocker?

Benny:No, I do.

Benny:I don't have to do that.

Gamemaster:You turn it off just for the...

Johnny:Josh, you need to use that.

Benny:They make me whitelist it.

Argyle:The milfs in the area.

Johnny:Who is making you whitelist it?

Johnny:And you were like, well, they've got to pay for the server somehow.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's fair.

Benny:The website, they go, we can tell you have an ad blocker.

Benny:Please let us show you 50 Jerkmate ads so you can watch this movie.

Benny:We have to pay for the servers.

Gamemaster:I get it.

Argyle:You know what's the best part about this?

Argyle:Mike uses Biplex.

Argyle:So this link might just be my flex.

Johnny:Jorge, he's the one running the ad.

Gamemaster:He's the one putting the ads on.

Benny:Yeah, it's my own plugin.

Benny:It's my own Chrome plugin.

Benny:It's just a 50-50 shot.

Benny:If you click anywhere in any page, a jerk-made ad pops up in a new tab.

Anzu:Is this when we learn that you two are both majority stakeholders in Jerkmate?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:I actually came up with a ranking system.

Argyle:So there's a... So I'm part of...

Benny:There's a rank dungeon.

Anzu:Don't dig in.

Anzu:Josh, do not dig in.

Benny:You can become an emerald edger.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:I'm fine.

Gamemaster:That's okay.

Johnny:That was the worst sentence ever said in this chat.

Benny:A bronze beater?

Benny:I know Emerald Edger is a real one, but bronze beater I made up.

Johnny:Is this... Did you invent this?

Benny:Let's see.

Johnny:Are you improv-ing this bit right now, or is this real?

Gamemaster:It kind of sounds like the latter.

Benny:I don't want to... I don't want to click on... I don't want to click on a link directly to... Oh.

Gamemaster:Well, he always takes the ads away.

Anzu:Oh, now he doesn't want to click.

Gamemaster:He never interacts with them.

Gamemaster:They just show up because he had to add a whitelist into his ad blocker for him.

Anzu:That's true.

Benny:Wait, let's see.

Benny:So Bronze Beater, Silver Stroker, Golden Gooner, Platinum Puller, Emerald Edger, and the Grandmaster Baiter.

Benny:Those are the ranks.

Benny:The more you watch, the higher you go in the ranks.

Argyle:It's just Goon Elo.

Argyle:What is that?

Benny:Yeah.

Benny:No, it's Goon Elo.

Argyle:Okay.

Anzu:All right.

Argyle:Wait, actually, did I know that?

Gamemaster:I just like messing mentally.

Anzu:Maybe we should play.

Benny:Yeah.

Benny:I don't know.

Argyle:That's the Elo ranks.

Benny:I don't think there's head-to-head.

Argyle:Yeah, those are the Elo ranks for League without all the... That should make a difference.

Benny:Oh, yeah.

Benny:No, no, I know.

Benny:It's supposed to be jerkmate ranked, like playing on competitive ranks.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:There needs to be an Iron one.

Argyle:But that being said, I'm a member of some subreddits that are all about hosting your own Plex movies, servers, and things like that.

Argyle:People have now started getting to the point where not only do they basically have Netflix, they're like, I really just like not having to pick what I'm watching, so I want to set up a TV channel.

Argyle:But then I found out I actually really prefer breaks, so they're trying to put commercials in it.

Argyle:And no, no, you can seriously do this.

Argyle:But what's funny is some people are like, I put my own commercials, which is like stand up and do five pushups or something or family stuff.

Argyle:Other guy was just like, yeah, I tried emailing.

Argyle:HBO to see if they'd give me their commercials, like the raw commercials from the 90s because I thought they were pretty interesting.

Argyle:And like the YouTube ones are low quality.

Argyle:And they told me to go fuck myself.

Argyle:It's like, yeah, what did you think they were going to do, you fucking dumbass?

Argyle:That made me so mad.

Johnny:you

Argyle:I'm sorry.

Argyle:I saw that days ago.

Argyle:It still pisses me off.

Argyle:He emailed a professional TV company to ask for their old commercials to put on his stolen pirate server.

Argyle:I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:See, when you started talking, I thought you were going to say somebody's like, listen, if I'm going to put the brakes in, I may as well use an ad company to fill that break time anyway and just reintroduce commercials back into their life.

Argyle:I should not be this mad about this.

Benny:Would you like to pay me?

Gamemaster:Because then you make money.

Benny:Yeah, would you like to pay me to be in between my stolen productions?

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:Bye.

Argyle:Would you like to pay me to fund?

Gamemaster:Would you like to pay to advertise to me directly and no one else?

Benny:Here's my Google Ads profile.

Argyle:Would you like... Would you pay me to fund my own piracy to not pay you guys?

Benny:Let's see if we can put something together.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Do we want to play some Pathfinder?

Benny:I have one more joke.

Anzu:Yeah, because... Oh, no.

Benny:Can you send me a letter of no action saying that you won't sue me for pirating and I will tolerate your commercials?

Anzu:Alright.

Argyle:Water buffalo supremacy.

Benny:You're just from first principles getting an ad stream platform.

Benny:Anyways, D&D.

Gamemaster:Who set the subject?

Gamemaster:I didn't even know that was an emoji.

Anzu:It was...

Gamemaster:Where did you get that emoji from?

Johnny:it was built in i just looked up water it was there a little three-way bag

Gamemaster:Somebody built in a water buffalo emoji?

Argyle:It's bigger than you think.

Argyle:It's really big in Asia, guys.

Argyle:Just like Helmetac would have been.

Benny:You know what's big in Asia and I hate?

Benny:Three-way bags.

Benny:Anyways, D&D.

Benny:I keep purchasing bags and the cool ones are in Asia and I have to pay to have them imported and I have to get them used or else they're $900.

Benny:Continue.

Gamemaster:The water buffalo emoji is a real emoji.

Argyle:It's more than like a little truck from Japan.

Benny:I'm...

Argyle:Mike's paying more for a package than those little trucks from Japan.

Johnny:thank you

Benny:No, no, okay, okay, okay.

Benny:One more thing.

Benny:There is a company that I like.

Benny:I like their bags.

Benny:They start at $600.

Benny:They're not to me, so they're not like some recognized brand name.

Benny:They're a Japanese company.

Benny:Do you know what the thing of the Japanese company is?

Benny:They're made in the U.S.

Benny:So they make the bags in the U.S., they ship them to Japan, and then I have to import them to the U.S.

Benny:They do not do direct to the U.S.

Benny:All of the bags have to go to Japan.

Argyle:They're kind of cool.

Benny:Yes.

Anzu:but you really like the way they make bags.

Anzu:Oh, thank you, Josh.

Gamemaster:The old one used to be scary.

Johnny:Oh, wow.

Johnny:Why does it look like it's ready to die?

Johnny:Apparently.

Gamemaster:Yeah, they fed it between iOS 8 and iOS 10.

Anzu:It does look a little emaciated.

Anzu:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Pathfinder?

Johnny:Yeah, let's do it.

Gamemaster:Does anyone want to do...

Gamemaster:A recap of, like, the two months off we had.

Anzu:Oh, Jorge has it.

Argyle:I can also do the detective one, because I was there for all three of the episodes, if that's better.

Argyle:If that matters.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:Well, okay, so things that need to be recapped are the previous session in this campaign.

Gamemaster:And it'd probably be good to go over what happened in the Detective 3-ish shot.

Gamemaster:What doesn't need to happen, but could be fun, is the animal one-shot that we did.

Gamemaster:And I saw that you guys cannot play when I'm not around to bully you into putting a session together.

Gamemaster:So... Sure.

Anzu:We were really thinking about it this time.

Johnny:We really, we tried.

Gamemaster:So no recap needed there.

Gamemaster:So I guess we have two to three volunteers.

Gamemaster:If Jorge wants to do the detective one, he's got it.

Argyle:Sure.

Gamemaster:Does anybody?

Gamemaster:Okay, we'll do that first.

Argyle:Is this all of the detective or just the last session?

Gamemaster:Just give us a quick recap of the things that you think were important.

Argyle:Quick recap.

Argyle:All right.

Argyle:I'm doing quick.

Argyle:He said quick.

Argyle:Remember a magical detective for the iridescent host.

Argyle:One of us was a dwarf.

Argyle:That was an animist.

Argyle:Really, really cool guy.

Argyle:You could see in dark vision.

Argyle:Really sad he got right to the end of the dark vision and turned back.

Argyle:We got another guy who is this really cool lizard film Noire guy with an entourage of people.

Argyle:Super cool.

Argyle:Really cool blaster.

Argyle:We had a 12-foot tall friendly Giant that was a guardian.

Argyle:Really, really cool guy.

Argyle:And then we also had...

Argyle:Mike, I'm kind of blanking on your character.

Argyle:I know he was a fighter.

Benny:Yeah, I was going to say, wait a second.

Johnny:He was a dog.

Argyle:Dog.

Argyle:We got a pug with a sword bigger than him, very Final Fantasy style.

Argyle:Turns out there was this murder where some people were getting shriveled up.

Argyle:They looked happy, though, when they were found dead.

Argyle:That was important.

Gamemaster:Not true.

Benny:I don't remember that at all.

Gamemaster:You just added that detail in.

Argyle:They didn't look happy?

Argyle:I thought there was a whole point where they didn't look upset and then everyone...

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:So they didn't look like they were in combat.

Gamemaster:That's not the same as dying with a smile on their face.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:I'm pretty sure you said that.

Argyle:And then one of the bads in the forest then go, did they look happy?

Gamemaster:I have the transcript.

Argyle:Anyway.

Argyle:We track the burlap sack man.

Argyle:We're like, oh, he's definitely going to this forest.

Argyle:So we take a train over to this forest city.

Argyle:We spend a lot of time talking to the locals about how they make their beer.

Argyle:We didn't crack the case, though, unfortunately.

Argyle:Did some investigation.

Argyle:Turns out there's a commune of people that dress like our suspect.

Argyle:We go over there.

Argyle:They seem kind of nice.

Argyle:Found out where our suspect lived.

Argyle:He had a necklace made of Fae rock.

Argyle:We then held the Fae rock to the sky, and then it led us.

Argyle:We were very astute.

Argyle:We picked this up immediately.

Argyle:And it led us deeper into this forest of trees thing.

Argyle:We go in.

Argyle:We fight some praying mantis.

Argyle:We hear some kid crying.

Argyle:That's when our night-seeing guy dips.

Argyle:We then go, wow, we're great people, so we go to rescue the kid.

Argyle:Super suspicious, because the kid didn't attack us, but it didn't make any sense how he made it this way in, and he was pretty injured, but not really looked like he was mortal, and it was kind of interesting.

Argyle:So we kept going deeper in.

Argyle:It gets really dark.

Argyle:We get chased by some laughing waves.

Argyle:We sleep in magical fortresses.

Argyle:One night, we heard a shadow scraping on the door.

Argyle:We tried to attack it, but it ran off.

Johnny:Thank you.

Argyle:We tried to understand what the symbol meant.

Argyle:Ah, we don't know magic.

Argyle:So we go back to sleep.

Argyle:It goes away, probably after the kid or something.

Argyle:The kid said his mom does some weird things, and we're like, eh, it's probably a kid.

Argyle:We go deeper in.

Argyle:We see an anglerfish type of thing in the forest.

Argyle:We actually avoid it.

Argyle:We then see some weird-looking alien guys.

Argyle:that we're like sitting in some mushroom clearing.

Argyle:And then we immediately present ourselves and tell them we are the police and you better make a line for us and answer our questions.

Argyle:They kind of laugh at us.

Argyle:We talk for a little bit.

Argyle:We said, you really should listen to us.

Argyle:They go, no, we don't.

Argyle:But they go, oh, wait, wait, you can talk to our otherworldly entity past this black magic door, and you can stop these murders from happening, but you're going to die.

Argyle:So he said, fuck that, we're going to kill you.

Argyle:So he killed them very swiftly.

Argyle:Cedric kind of killed two of them at once.

Argyle:Then it cuts that session.

Argyle:Case goes cold.

Argyle:We then go, ah, we should probably try to figure out what's happening because the murders are still happening.

Argyle:So we go back over to the city.

Argyle:We start talking to some jewelers because there only leaves the Feyrock.

Argyle:No one really sells it but one guy.

Argyle:We chat with him.

Argyle:We immediately bust him as cops.

Argyle:We're like, hey, you have to get this over.

Argyle:And he's like, whoa, I'm rich.

Argyle:You guys can't do this to me.

Argyle:I have more rights than you.

Argyle:We're like, oh, yeah, you do.

Argyle:So he bullied us.

Argyle:Turns out he didn't know where the rock was coming from.

Argyle:We did some more investigation.

Argyle:We found out there was some dude with a limp and a burlap sack walking around selling Feyrock.

Argyle:He was slinging Feyrock.

Argyle:We go over to his crack house.

Argyle:We investigate.

Argyle:Looks like he accidentally died.

Argyle:Maybe not accidentally.

Argyle:We don't know.

Argyle:His leg is Feyrock.

Argyle:So we steal his leg.

Argyle:It continues to turn into more Feyrock.

Argyle:And we're like, ooh, that's pretty funny.

Argyle:We had no leads.

Argyle:We had nothing else.

Argyle:No idea.

Argyle:We're like, I guess we should go talk to the jeweler again.

Argyle:Then our magic guy from the magic detective show up and go, oh, you should take this stone and put it onto this.

Argyle:And then we all get dragged into this book.

Argyle:Um, he dies pretty quickly.

Benny:Ucton.

Argyle:Uh, we, we fight some people and then we go, we should probably go past that weird black magical door and try to stop this even though we might die because we're heroes and all.

Johnny:Thank you.

Argyle:Um, and that was it.

Argyle:We're right out of time.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I mean, some inaccuracies, but nothing important.

Gamemaster:You said the man was walking around in a burlap sack.

Gamemaster:That's twice now in a recap that you've said that somebody's walking around in a burlap sack and they have not been walking around in a burlap sack.

Anzu:I think it was a tunic.

Gamemaster:The first time it was a guy in a tunic, and then the second time this guy was, like, wrapped with gauze, which is not a burlap sack at all.

Argyle:Yeah, burlap tunic.

Anzu:That's closer than a tunic.

Gamemaster:But close enough, I suppose.

Argyle:So our characters might have solved it.

Gamemaster:But yeah.

Anzu:So we still don't know what's been killing folks.

Gamemaster:No, so...

Argyle:We don't know.

Gamemaster:Your characters have kind of, like, done this two-pronged investigation where one is looking into the source of the curse, and they know the source, but they killed the only people that might have information there because they didn't want to die, which is a reasonable response, but that turned that into a dead end.

Gamemaster:And then the other one is they've found this guy with a raiment that is the same color as the elves.

Gamemaster:It's this dark, dark black raiment that appears to be doing some kind of ritual.

Anzu:Ooh.

Gamemaster:that creates Morphe Rock, seemingly out of people.

Gamemaster:And you're in the middle of chasing that particular leak down.

Gamemaster:But we've ran long, so we'll see if that gets picked up at some point in a future one-shot.

Gamemaster:Or maybe it'll remain a mystery forever.

Gamemaster:Who knows?

Argyle:I also found out that sorcerers can do a lot of DPS.

Gamemaster:Does...

Gamemaster:Yeah, Jorge's character, like, murdered most people in both fights, which was honestly a little rude.

Argyle:I can split shot my disintegrate.

Gamemaster:I think you are muted, Noah, if you're saying things.

Anzu:Yeah, no, we can't hear you.

Anzu:But it doesn't look like you're muted.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I just don't hear any words.

Johnny:Hello?

Johnny:Can you hear me?

Anzu:Oh, yeah, yeah.

Argyle:Hello?

Gamemaster:I can hear you now.

Benny:Yes.

Johnny:Yeah, yeah.

Johnny:For some reason, this was my phone, but my phone is not connected to my computer, so I don't know what was happening there.

Anzu:All right.

Johnny:I had one other point of clarification.

Johnny:I was not a Giant.

Johnny:I was a half minotaur, half centaur.

Gamemaster:Which is a ridiculous thing.

Benny:Ah.

Gamemaster:Human half of a centaur, human half of a minotaur.

Johnny:But centaurs are large, so I was large.

Anzu:Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Argyle:So, and then what?

Benny:Yeah, if you'll notice, he did not have any animal characteristics.

Johnny:This is fully legal.

Benny:He was human for many intents and purposes.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Anzu:Just a complete genetic anomaly that he came out fully human.

Argyle:Do you have like... Do you have like a sibling that's just like two different animals slapped together?

Gamemaster:It did.

Johnny:The horse bull.

Johnny:I think my name, too, in Greek meant, like, man-man or something.

Gamemaster:It did.

Gamemaster:You were like Andrus something.

Gamemaster:It was just, it was literally man, man.

Argyle:I thought you were Yoda.

Johnny:What was funny was Josh picked up on that immediately.

Johnny:I sent that to him.

Johnny:I don't think he looked at the character.

Johnny:And I was.

Gamemaster:Because you sent me and your guy's name was Antros Anthropos, which is man like man.

Benny:What a psycho thing.

Gamemaster:So dumb.

Gamemaster:It's a good character idea.

Johnny:It never came up naturally, so I couldn't drop it.

Gamemaster:So dumb.

Gamemaster:Because of course it didn't come up naturally.

Gamemaster:Nobody's like, hey, are you like the human half of a minotaur and the human half of a centaur put together?

Johnny:You don't ask that, people.

Argyle:laughter laughter

Gamemaster:Because that's what you look like to me.

Gamemaster:I believe it.

Johnny:That was the first thing I ever asked Tanner when we met.

Johnny:I turned to Tanner.

Johnny:I said, are you half minotaur, half centaur, but both human parts?

Johnny:And Tanner was like, yeah.

Benny:I do remember that being said.

Benny:I do because I was like, that's funny.

Benny:There was no further, nothing else registered.

Gamemaster:Well, mythic point to Jorge for the recap.

Gamemaster:Does anyone want to do a quick recap of when we were animals?

Gamemaster:Because it is canon.

Johnny:Oh, I can do this.

Anzu:Which is crazy.

Anzu:It was not supposed to be.

Anzu:Penelope Crowe's

Gamemaster:But it is, I've decided.

Gamemaster:All right, Noah?

Johnny:This beautiful witch whose name I am fully blanking on.

Johnny:Penelope Crows.

Johnny:was just doing her stuff one day and then was straight up murdered.

Argyle:What group?

Johnny:But luckily, Gideon Westward III, the dog, the dog, expired ingredients, the rat, and Meatloaf, the toad, uh...

Gamemaster:What was the name of the witch hunter?

Gamemaster:It was something dumb.

Anzu:It was Gorlando Bloom.

Gamemaster:Right, Gorlando Bloom.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:That just needs to be on the record so I can refer back to that in the future.

Gamemaster:Sorry to interrupt.

Johnny:Penelope Crows was murdered by Gorlando Bloom, but her faithful pets, after much work and knowing one spell each, managed to tidy their way out of the house.

Johnny:And then we saw her soul and she was like, listen, if you can get me that witch hunter's eyes, I can come back to life.

Johnny:So we were like, easy.

Johnny:And then we trekked very far over to this nearby town.

Johnny:We saved our friend, a rabbit, from a dog who...

Johnny:Josh, the dog, was like, hey, I have dibs.

Johnny:And the wolf was like, oh, God.

Johnny:It was a wolf, not a dog.

Johnny:I'm so sorry.

Johnny:And ran off.

Johnny:And then we went over to the town, found where Gorlando Bloom was staying, used some incredible stealth, snuck into a couple of rooms to figure out where things were.

Johnny:And then we were like, here's the plan.

Johnny:We found his room.

Johnny:When he's asleep...

Johnny:The dog will launch the toad, and the toad will use Mage Hand to throw himself up even further onto the balcony.

Johnny:Meanwhile, the rat will sneak inside.

Johnny:Then the toad, using Mage Hand, will take the axe and cut the dude's head off.

Johnny:And then I rolled better than I've ever rolled in six years of playing D&D.

Johnny:And me and Mike, as a toad and a rat, killed a full-grown human man in about 30 seconds.

Johnny:Uh, then we.

Benny:I do like how you mentioned that we tidied our way out of the initial cabin.

Benny:I caught that.

Gamemaster:Each of us got a spell.

Gamemaster:Mike's spell was tidy.

Gamemaster:And Tanner wouldn't let us do things like tidy a rock out of existence.

Gamemaster:Or tidy a man to death.

Benny:Yeah, I was like, can I tidy the skin off of this person?

Gamemaster:Or...

Benny:And Tanner's like, no, you can't do that.

Benny:And I'm like, well, then what's the spell for?

Anzu:It cleans up messes.

Johnny:We just got one.

Johnny:Our spells were, I had Mage Hand, Josh had Speak Human, and Mike had Tidy.

Gamemaster:I used Speak Human so many times, and the only time it worked, I managed to convince a small girl that she was a witch.

Benny:Yeah.

Johnny:That was good.

Johnny:That's going to end badly.

Benny:Also, Jorge, you can't just spam spells.

Gamemaster:Which wasn't important.

Benny:You roll based on your choice of two attributes.

Benny:And then if you roll too low, you get a point of danger.

Benny:And if you obtain too many points of danger, you essentially get removed from the session by some sort of means.

Johnny:No.

Benny:And also, you get points of danger when you do dangerous things.

Benny:So if you try to speak human and then you do something very risky or get put in a bad position, you can get removed and you've only used your spell once.

Benny:But yes, Josh, as the dog, did use speak human I think more than once to try to get pets.

Benny:Or no, I think it was just a once.

Benny:He asked a little girl for pets and then convinced her that she was a witch.

Gamemaster:But all the other times I speak human too close to the sun and so I died.

Gamemaster:I got shot with an arrow and then...

Johnny:the classic tale of Icarus.

Benny:Yeah, Josh didn't make it out.

Argyle:What happened when you died?

Argyle:Oh, you only died once.

Johnny:So after this frog and this rat stole these eyeballs, we jumped out of the balcony and we were like, ride dog.

Benny:Also... Also, yeah...

Johnny:And then all the humans were like, oh my God, this is crazy.

Johnny:Let's shoot this dog with an arrow.

Johnny:So they shot the dog with an arrow and the dog was like, go on without me.

Johnny:And so the toad and the rat were like, okay.

Benny:Canonically, the dog is not dead.

Benny:I would have to guess the dog is in custody being questioned.

Gamemaster:Which is, I think, also bad.

Benny:I think, yeah.

Benny:Right, but just for your notes, Josh, if you're going to put us near the village, the dog is in custody, the dog is not dead.

Gamemaster:So, for context, this village is not in the modern-day Færrin.

Gamemaster:Because if you recall, it was like ye olden times, there were people running around with a bow and arrow, and there was a tavern.

Gamemaster:So anything that will be a history book written about the dog that was in custody.

Johnny:I can't wait to find that.

Benny:Listen, Josh, there are ways of making this in contemporary Færrin.

Johnny:What if they're all cosplayers?

Gamemaster:I'm not doing that, though.

Benny:I won't... Listen, you know what?

Johnny:They can all be cosplayers.

Gamemaster:Right, right.

Gamemaster:This whole time it was actually just in a really big, like, Ren Faire.

Gamemaster:It was just a really serious LARP.

Benny:That's what I was going to say.

Johnny:It's very important.

Johnny:The whole time, we didn't ask for descriptions, really.

Johnny:We didn't interact with people.

Johnny:So it was very much a Disney cartoon or like Tom and Jerry, where you see the ground floor and there's very clearly stuff going on all around it.

Johnny:But you only see the legs.

Johnny:Anyways, we got away and we stole this witch hunter's eyes.

Johnny:And now Penelope Crows lives.

Johnny:And this dog is in custody.

Gamemaster:Penelope might still be around if you guys wanted to go looking.

Gamemaster:But yeah, that works.

Gamemaster:You get a mythic point.

Gamemaster:One more mythic point up for grabs.

Gamemaster:Mike or Tanner, would either of you like to do a recap of the last actual session that we did in the campaign?

Argyle:You can do it in reverse and then I'll stop you.

Gamemaster:If you can recall.

Anzu:Mike, I can give it a go if you don't want to, Mike.

Gamemaster:If you can't, I'll just do it.

Benny:Thank you.

Anzu:So, I'm not exactly sure where the line is between the beginning of this session and prior to that, but basically, we decided that we were poor, and so we needed to get money to be less poor.

Anzu:And I guess, what is his name?

Anzu:Illmari, is that right?

Anzu:Illmari told us about a guy named Copperjaw.

Gamemaster:No, but someone at Iconoclasm did.

Anzu:Nope.

Gamemaster:That was Anouk, one of the two tinkerers.

Anzu:Copperjaw runs a scrapyard.

Anzu:And he pays people to do stuff, I guess, from time to time.

Anzu:So we traveled over to his scrapyard and asked him for work.

Anzu:He gave us two possible jobs.

Argyle:Thank you

Anzu:One was a protection type job for 70 gold pieces.

Anzu:The other one was to deliver a special briefcase to a jeweler for 100 gold pieces.

Anzu:And we were like, well, 100 gold pieces is a larger number than 70 gold pieces.

Anzu:So we got to deliver that briefcase.

Anzu:And he was like, but listen, some people are going to try to take it from you.

Anzu:So you got to be on the lookout for an ambush.

Anzu:So these two absolute idiots.

Anzu:Tried to pretend that they were members of some private police organization.

Anzu:Blackline, I think.

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Anzu:They were like, hey, listen, what are you guys up to?

Anzu:What's in the bag?

Anzu:And we were like, we're just going to carry on with our day.

Anzu:Thank you.

Anzu:And so we got on the train.

Argyle:you you

Anzu:And a bunch of goblins got on the train.

Anzu:Another couple got on the train.

Anzu:And we kind of really stared down everybody on the train for our couple rides.

Anzu:And things were tense.

Anzu:But we got off the train, no problem.

Anzu:But we were just feeling like, you know what?

Anzu:These guys are trying to trap us.

Anzu:We're going to trap them and see how they like it.

Anzu:So we conveniently walked into an alley, waited for them in the alley, and then totally beat their asses.

Anzu:And it turns out they were shape-shifting flesh monsters.

Argyle:Those flush monsters did not expect to get absolutely ganked.

Anzu:And I think that's where we ended.

Anzu:We defeated them, and we're heading to the Diamond District to bring the suitcase to a jeweler.

Gamemaster:I am so mad that those flesh monsters failed repeatedly to do the one big thing that they do because you guys kept just walloping them and dodging out of the way of their proboscis and all the dumb stupid stuff that you did.

Argyle:Yes.

Gamemaster:Either way, that's all correct.

Gamemaster:The two flesh monsters called Oogathals are dead at your feet in piles of kind of disincorporated goo.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:There isn't really bones inside of them, so the whole thing kind of lost pressure and collapsed when you killed it.

Gamemaster:Um...

Gamemaster:You had already searched the bodies.

Gamemaster:The only things that you had found of note on the body were... You did confirm, first of all, that this was Smith and Mute, the two that had originally confronted you when you were making your way out of Sableclutch with the briefcase.

Argyle:I took their bad news.

Gamemaster:You took their badges.

Gamemaster:I believe you had checked the badges, and as best you could tell, they were genuine, which leaves you at either they're really good at counterfeiting, they stole it from actual Blackline agents, or they really were Blackline agents.

Gamemaster:There's no real way to check right now, but you have two, as best you can tell, valid Blackline badges now to do with as you please.

Gamemaster:I will also note that while you were on the train,

Gamemaster:you did not see Smith and Newt.

Gamemaster:Or at the very least, everybody was able to talk, so you gather that you didn't see Newt.

Gamemaster:But these guys did manage somehow to follow you through the trolley ride because you've encountered them after you did the tram ride and you had first seen them before you took the tram.

Argyle:Like.

Gamemaster:So, you know, stuff going on there.

Gamemaster:Either way, you did successfully lure them into an alley.

Gamemaster:Oh, one thing that we missed in the recap.

Gamemaster:You get a mythic point, but we did skip over you guys visited Smiler at the Undertable, which is a like pawn shop slash fencing front that Johnny is familiar with due to backstory reasons.

Anzu:Thank you.

Gamemaster:I believe he currently has a poly tool on hold for you for nine gold pieces should you return at some point.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Argyle:one of us also got a Burberry.

Johnny:Big day for everybody.

Gamemaster:Correct, Othello.

Argyle:And yeah, and Argyle's surging papers finally came through.

Argyle:So his accreditation came through.

Gamemaster:Yes, Tanner.

Anzu:Also Argyle owes me 9 gold pieces.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:I will pay that one.

Gamemaster:Yes, Noah.

Johnny:Also, Johnny found a pair of fans and that's his new personality.

Gamemaster:That's true, he did.

Gamemaster:All right.

Gamemaster:I think we're caught up.

Gamemaster:We're in an alley.

Gamemaster:Benny the child still has a very weirdly heavy briefcase handcuffed to his arm.

Gamemaster:You're standing over the corpses of two naked mole rat looking things.

Gamemaster:Yes, Noah.

Johnny:Was it this session or a different session where Benny was like, you should be scared of me, and then his eyes started to glow or something?

Johnny:This is the avatar.

Benny:That was session one.

Gamemaster:That was the first session.

Gamemaster:That was session one while you guys were fighting the augers.

Gamemaster:Benny kind of went off a little bit for a teeny bit there, but he has since then only had normal colored eyes.

Argyle:It was like evil avatar state.

Gamemaster:Sorry?

Argyle:It was like evil avatar state.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Benny is secretly Aang.

Johnny:um you want to swallow all the sounds in that word um well

Argyle:Don't you mean ung?

Anzu:Yeah.

Gamemaster:No, I don't.

Benny:On.

Gamemaster:The...

Gamemaster:If you want a word that you have to swallow to say, it's Tywelwyn.

Benny:Tywelwyn.

Gamemaster:Tywelwyn.

Argyle:We should probably move out of here.

Benny:Tywelwyn.

Gamemaster:Tywelwyn Leatherhide, who is an open plot thread as well.

Benny:Tywelwyn.

Gamemaster:Either way, you guys have your briefcase, you're in the alley, you've murdered possibly some cops, it's unclear.

Argyle:These are two bodies of people that might be caps.

Argyle:Should we hide the bodies?

Gamemaster:But

Argyle:Burn the bodies?

Johnny:I mean, they're kind of just like piles of flesh right now, so...

Gamemaster:They're weirdly stringy piles of flesh.

Gamemaster:As whoever was searching through them was looking at it, you'd note that once the body's no longer together, like it's not alive anymore, it kind of separates into these half-foot-thick cords of flesh that kind of tie together to form the body.

Argyle:Did they have any money on them or just the IDs?

Gamemaster:Just the IDs.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:So, notably, they were wearing clothes, but the clothes kind of merged into the body when they transformed.

Gamemaster:You know that they are a function of whatever they used to change shape.

Gamemaster:It seems like they weren't really carrying around anything that could be construed as money.

Gamemaster:That said, you would know that the badges in certain cases can be used as a kind of like a line of credit where you can charge to the organization.

Gamemaster:If they're real, then that would work in some cases.

Gamemaster:Although you would know that also if they're real, then somebody will note at some point that it's still being charged and turn them off and maybe go looking for it.

Gamemaster:That's like up to you whether or not you want to pursue that.

Argyle:Yeah, it's more of a, I don't want them coming unsmoothied and then pointing a finger at us.

Gamemaster:But you'd definitely be able to use them to purchase some things.

Anzu:They're kind of a mess.

Johnny:It's kind of like if a person was a smoothie.

Anzu:I'm not even sure they're identifiable.

Johnny:Oh, that's fair.

Benny:I don't even see a finger in there.

Johnny:I think that's a finger over there.

Johnny:No, that might be a foot.

Johnny:I don't know.

Argyle:Pulled his finger.

Benny:He'll pull your finger.

Johnny:Your finger?

Argyle:He farts.

Benny:It feels like a grown man is pulling your finger.

Argyle:He farts.

Argyle:All right.

Benny:Betty laughs cheerfully.

Benny:Does anyone have any fire?

Johnny:Oh, great.

Argyle:I got to light it.

Benny:That works.

Johnny:Analog.

Anzu:Now, before we light these bodies on fire in an alley, I would like to... Are we going to draw a lot of attention by lighting a fire and burning flesh?

Gamemaster:Can I get a medicine check?

Gamemaster:Or I guess like general lore check.

Gamemaster:Do you guys know what happens when you burn a body?

Johnny:Does my theater lore, is that applicable?

Gamemaster:No.

Benny:Not like some Galileo play that he's aware of.

Argyle:I didn't feel great, guys.

Argyle:So if anyone else.

Anzu:I'm not really good at medicine.

Gamemaster:You know, 11 is good enough.

Gamemaster:A burning body smells bad.

Anzu:Yeah, that's...

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:Or, like, more generally, a burning body smells.

Johnny:Hmm.

Gamemaster:Regardless of what the smell is, it's like, by burning them, you will definitely be calling attention to this location.

Argyle:Is there a temperature?

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:By the time somebody gets here to investigate, it might be too late, but...

Argyle:Is there a dumpster we can throw some of them in?

Gamemaster:If you want to just shove that... You're in an alley right now.

Gamemaster:I will say that there's a trash can around for you to shove them into, if you so please.

Argyle:Before we start getting messy, can any of us... Does anyone have anything to clean up?

Anzu:Perfect.

Johnny:I have a little presentation.

Argyle:Any prestidigitation?

Johnny:I can .

Argyle:Cool, cool.

Argyle:Alright.

Gamemaster:Yeah, if you want to do that, it'll take a little bit of time to prestigitate all of the blood away, but you can spend a few minutes to clean up the area.

Argyle:I...

Argyle:I just didn't want to move bloody body suit and then be like, what do we do now?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:As is happening, I'll turn to our bird friend with his bird friend.

Johnny:Anzu, you've been in the library before.

Johnny:Do you know what these things are?

Anzu:I feel like I might have already done a roll for them, but I don't remember.

Anzu:Yeah, I'm going to roll Occultism.

Gamemaster:I don't either.

Gamemaster:I'll accept a religion, a nature, or an occultism check here to figure out what a Nukathal is.

Gamemaster:okay you you can roll a religion check that's valid all right so we have a 12 for occultism and uh crit uh one second

Anzu:Because they strange.

Argyle:I roll a religion check to see if I know if they're with one of the.

Anzu:Yikes.

Argyle:26.

Anzu:8.

Argyle:Oh.

Gamemaster:I just needed to double check.

Gamemaster:So the level-based DC at level 2 is 16, so a 26 is a double crit.

Gamemaster:Okay, so religion check.

Gamemaster:What is an Ugathal?

Gamemaster:Um...

Gamemaster:Ugathals are kind of... I don't want to say myth, because it's not believed that they're not real, but it's not something that the average person has to deal with necessarily, and they are most common in, like, rural areas talking about, like, body snatchers and, like, folklore of, you know, don't go into the forest alone at night because sometimes you come back wrong, and the person that comes back wrong is actually an Ugathal wearing your face.

Argyle:you can work

Gamemaster:But, yeah, skinwalker of that general style.

Gamemaster:Not like fey skinwalker, where you wandered into the fey realm and something happened.

Argyle:Good.

Gamemaster:This is more like a monster that eats you from the inside out and then actually wears your skin.

Gamemaster:They are...

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:They're always described as wily, if that makes sense.

Gamemaster:They are intelligent in that they use that intelligence to hunt things.

Gamemaster:But they don't work in groups, and they tend not to enter urban settlements.

Gamemaster:The Ugathal's native home is a deep forest.

Gamemaster:So to see them out here working in groups, like part of the city and all of that kind of stuff, is definitely strange.

Gamemaster:but like they are a real thing it's like if you found out that there were actual monsters that had found their way into the city and then somebody gave them a job

Gamemaster:because somebody has definitely tasked these things with the job.

Gamemaster:You don't know if it's... It might not be Blackline.

Gamemaster:It might be somebody else who tasked them with, like, posing as Blackline agents.

Argyle:No.

Gamemaster:But someone is controlling Ugathal, or controlled Ugathal in some manner, and is using them to do stuff in the city.

Gamemaster:One...

Gamemaster:Thing of note, I would say, with the religion check with the create is an Ugathal cannot just wear someone's face at will.

Gamemaster:It's not like they see something and they can copy it.

Gamemaster:They need to have killed the original owner of the face to be able to wear the face.

Gamemaster:So any like guys that you've seen an Ugathal wearing before used to be a living person and was killed by the Ugathal as part of their, you know, perhaps.

Argyle:Potentially like a black line person.

Argyle:Potentially.

Benny:Do these people have, like, fucking normal jobs?

Benny:Or are they all just, like, absolute psychopaths?

Benny:Like, what do you do when you're born and you're like, oh yeah, no, in order to get a face, you need to kill someone and wear it.

Benny:You're like, I guess I'm a life of crime for me.

Gamemaster:So, like, Ugathal are monsters that are sentient.

Gamemaster:Like, there's a distinction there in that it's not like a group of people.

Benny:Yeah.

Argyle:you

Gamemaster:It is, for whatever reason, it's unknown what their actual origin is.

Gamemaster:It's believed right now that some mad wizard in the Dark Ages before Aurelia opened up the crack invented them as a weapon of War or of espionage.

Gamemaster:But right now, they're just kind of feral in the forests.

Gamemaster:It's not like a group of people.

Gamemaster:It's like, this thing is born.

Gamemaster:You'd think of it more like an owlbear than you would like a human.

Benny:Or it's like Master Chief.

Gamemaster:Sure, yeah, the Ugathal are Master Chief, and there's a Cortana somewhere.

Argyle:When our guy recites this, his eyes briefly flash blue, and then they get back to me.

Anzu:Very interesting.

Argyle:Alright, let's go.

Gamemaster:I like how we waited until we left the setting with the weird eyes to start doing weird eye shit.

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Anzu:You just wait until campaign four when we all start having crazy lights behind our heads.

Argyle:I have weird eyes, let us know.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:Does anyone have higher than a six in any of those?

Johnny:It's a bit of lag.

Argyle:Alright.

Gamemaster:Okay, so I need a deception, a thievery, or a sleight of hand check here to hide the bodies and clean up after yourself.

Argyle:Here we go.

Gamemaster:If you're actually trying to do that, somebody needs to make those checks.

Gamemaster:One of.

Johnny:I can do... I got an eight in deception.

Argyle:This is.

Benny:That works.

Johnny:The whole time I'm doing whatever I'm doing, I'm going, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Yeah, 12.

Gamemaster:You, uh, you, like, grab the weird stringy corpses and stuff them into a garbage can as best you can, press to digitate the area around, clean up all the blood you see.

Gamemaster:Hold on.

Argyle:Alright, let's go.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:The jeweler.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Um, okay, so, uh, actually, one point to that.

Gamemaster:You're not going to a jeweler, you're going to an apartment complex in a jewelry district.

Gamemaster:Um, the, uh, the person who, like, uh...

Gamemaster:is purchasing the thing that you're carrying from Copperjaw, is specifically trying to remain anonymous.

Gamemaster:So you're not trying to meet with them.

Gamemaster:You're supposed to meet with the doorman at a particular address who will pay you the money, free Benny from the chains that he's voluntarily in.

Gamemaster:and then kick you out.

Gamemaster:But you know the address.

Gamemaster:It's actually not all that far away from where you are right now because you had kind of made most of the way there before deciding to ambush the ambushers and so on and so forth.

Gamemaster:So you can do that if you like.

Gamemaster:I would like a general marching order as you guys are walking through these streets.

Gamemaster:We had one last time.

Gamemaster:I don't remember what it was.

Gamemaster:So what's the general formation you're walking in?

Johnny:I'll walk with the child.

Benny:And he was second or third.

Argyle:I can go first.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Argyle in front.

Argyle:We did two by twos, right?

Argyle:We did two by twos?

Gamemaster:You're like walking in a relatively large sidewalk.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:You're in a nicer part of town, so there is an emphasis on walkable here.

Gamemaster:It's not all cars.

Gamemaster:So if you want, there's more than enough room for you guys to walk two by two.

Argyle:I can walk with the bird.

Gamemaster:Okay, Anzu and Argyle up front, Johnny and Benny in the back.

Gamemaster:And Othello is keeping watch overhead.

Gamemaster:I'd love a perception check from people who are keeping Anaïs out, including Othello, if he is.

Gamemaster:Just to see if there's any other, you know, anything of note while you finish up the last leg of this career job.

Anzu:I just need to check if he has his own perception.

Argyle:I can do one.

Anzu:I forget.

Anzu:He does.

Anzu:And it's better than mine.

Anzu:Yeah.

Johnny:Hmm.

Argyle:Should I roll?

Argyle:All right, well, giveth and betaketh.

Gamemaster:17 okay with a 17 with Othello looking around there's a ton of other people out on the streets right now you're doing this in the middle of the day Benny's definitely getting a few weird looks

Anzu:Hello, 17.

Gamemaster:Like, nine-year-old with entourage carrying briefcases, definitely not the most common sight to see on the road here.

Gamemaster:But, like, nobody's doing anything with it.

Gamemaster:It's really just more of a, huh, that's strange, and they keep walking.

Gamemaster:Is Benny actually waving at them?

Gamemaster:Like, if they make eye contact, is that happening?

Benny:He's not trying to act like he's up to no good, but he is just smiling.

Benny:He'll make eye contact.

Gamemaster:Okay, sure, absolutely.

Gamemaster:People are confused.

Gamemaster:No one seems to be doing anything past being confused, though.

Gamemaster:And this last leg of your trip is generally uneventful.

Gamemaster:Maybe another 15 minutes or so of walking up two blocks, right one, up another one.

Gamemaster:It's a grid.

Gamemaster:It's easy enough to get where you're going.

Gamemaster:Before you get to the address that Copperjaw gave you, which is one, what is it called?

Gamemaster:Crystal Hill, a luxury apartment complex in a relatively nice part of town.

Gamemaster:You noticed the point when you actually made it into this neighborhood when the sidewalk started glittering a little bit as if there were gemstones embedded.

Gamemaster:in the asphalt, and that effect gets much, much more pronounced as you get to the front of this one building, to the point that it looks like, looking inside, the floor is just one big polished sheet of diamond.

Gamemaster:No religion check necessary as you're looking in here.

Gamemaster:This appears to be a Fane of some kind.

Gamemaster:The interior of this apartment complex is maintained by a heart.

Gamemaster:But you guys were given the address.

Gamemaster:You're allowed in.

Gamemaster:Nobody stops you as soon as you enter.

Gamemaster:There isn't a doorman at the front.

Gamemaster:It's just two open doors.

Gamemaster:But I will take a perception check if you guys are looking inside or entering to get a better view of the interior.

Benny:Who are the designated perceivers?

Johnny:Doctor?

Benny:The doctor and... Oh, you're a perceiver.

Johnny:I got a plus eight to reception.

Anzu:Oh yeah it should totally be you.

Benny:Open up them peepers, boy.

Johnny:Oh, I see a lot.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Going with the 21.

Gamemaster:Stop.

Argyle:Everyone's like, we didn't even need to go.

Anzu:I didn't like that at all.

Argyle:What's the point?

Gamemaster:The cat's trying to eat a lint roller.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:With a 21.

Gamemaster:Looking on the interior of this apartment complex, the whole thing is... It has the appearance of being on the inside of a gemstone.

Gamemaster:The walls kind of branch up and then go into a dome shape, like you're in the interior of a cut diamond.

Gamemaster:Relatively uncomfortable-looking tables and chairs off to the side show that there could be a lounge that one could wait at near the front, but in practice, nobody's expected to be waiting in this lobby.

Gamemaster:Either you're here because you're here for someone, or you're here because you're leaving your apartment.

Gamemaster:This is not a gathering place for people.

Gamemaster:On the other side of the room as you enter, there's a series of four elevator banks.

Gamemaster:They're all paternosters, if you're familiar.

Gamemaster:It's not like you press a button and an elevator comes down.

Gamemaster:Instead, it's these very softly rumbling platforms of crystal just constantly moving up in this rotation, and you just kind of hop on.

Gamemaster:or you catch the down one if you're going instead of waiting for a particular elevator.

Gamemaster:It's not super safe, but it is aesthetic, and it seems like if you get hurt, that's your fault.

Gamemaster:There is, behind a desk that's kind of grown out of the floor in this harder purple crystal, there is what appears to be a set of two...

Gamemaster:Dormen, honestly, they look closer to bodyguards as you would expect them to be, like staff of some kind.

Gamemaster:They are very clearly armed.

Argyle:So.

Gamemaster:They're wearing these deep red suits, but both of them have either a firearm or what looks to be a baton of some kind holstered at their side.

Gamemaster:But they do have little red bellhop hats that you gather makes them part of the staff.

Gamemaster:As you walk in, very obviously, kid with briefcase, one of the two doormen looks over and says, Oh, we've been expecting you.

Gamemaster:Come over.

Gamemaster:This one is a taller-looking lizardfolk gentleman, like relatively light red scales, maybe like an inch shorter than Argyle is.

Argyle:I'll be next to the boy.

Gamemaster:He calls you over.

Gamemaster:I assume you do.

Gamemaster:You do go over.

Johnny:Yeah.

Anzu:Yes.

Gamemaster:He makes a gesture that shows that he's waiting for Benny to hold out his arm with the handcuffed briefcase on it.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:The bellhop, for lack of a better term, takes out what looks like a wax seal die, like the thing that you would press into wax to make the seal.

Gamemaster:It's not obvious what the pattern is because he's not showing it to you, but it is of that shape.

Gamemaster:He holds it up against the handcuff that's attached to Benny's arm.

Argyle:Oh, we're going to get paid, right?

Gamemaster:Yes?

Gamemaster:He'll say, after I'm in possession of the briefcase.

Argyle:Just to clarify, what are the numbers that we're going to be getting paid for?

Gamemaster:A thousand silver pieces.

Argyle:Okay, double check.

Gamemaster:Fair.

Gamemaster:He'll hold the seal up to the handcuffs, there's a soft click, and they detach.

Gamemaster:He picks it up, he attaches it to his own arm, tightens it, and then waits for you to hand over the actual briefcase itself.

Gamemaster:as you hand it over, he catches it, and then, because he didn't expect a nine-year-old to be holding on to the weight of this thing, it does dip a little bit as he realizes this thing is heavy.

Benny:Thank you.

Argyle:Thanks, Luke Gunn.

Gamemaster:He looks at it, he looks at you, he gives you, like, a little nod, and then he, like, reaches under the desk and takes out... Um...

Gamemaster:No, it wouldn't be a credit card, because you guys definitely aren't doing this on the books.

Gamemaster:So I think he would take out a small money clip with $1,000 worth of silver pieces as bills, probably in smaller denominations, like $10, $20 bills, and he'll hand it over to the kid, because the kid's the one that gave him the briefcase.

Gamemaster:It's a good doing business with you.

Gamemaster:Tell Copperjaw we'll have more stuff for him next time.

Johnny:If you ever need some discreet courier services, and I'll give him one of Argyle's cards that Argyle gave to me earlier.

Argyle:If you would be card, I won't.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:He'll take it.

Gamemaster:He'll look at it.

Gamemaster:He'll file it away in his suit jacket.

Gamemaster:All right.

Johnny:Pleasure.

Gamemaster:Pleasure.

Johnny:I hand it to him.

Johnny:Argyle hands me one.

Johnny:I pocket the new one.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:He is waiting for you guys to get out.

Argyle:Yeah, yeah, we leave.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:So you got any coffee?

Gamemaster:And you find yourselves... What?

Argyle:Got any coffee?

Argyle:Is there, Josh, any Scale buildings here?

Anzu:Thank you.

Johnny:Is it that kind of place?

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:You guys would not have been allowed in had you not had something they were waiting for.

Gamemaster:But either way, you are amiably put back onto the street.

Argyle:I assume there's none for my order.

Argyle:Anyone's... And I still... Yeah.

Gamemaster:Um, so, uh, this is a relatively high-end area that does commerce, so there absolutely would be, um, an arbitration, uh, like, clinic, uh, like, effectively a law office for the Scale in the area.

Gamemaster:Um, if you're, like, looking to meet up with them.

Gamemaster:There wouldn't be, if you're looking for, like, the pack, like, pack broking they'll do, but the hunting people down and that stuff, not in this area.

Argyle:I assume pack brokers could send confidential information back for me to someone on the Scale, right?

Gamemaster:Yeah, every Scale outpost, so to speak, has a telefax machine that they can use to send information back, if that's what you're looking to do.

Gamemaster:Or a phone, if you wanted to call home.

Argyle:And it could be covert.

Gamemaster:Yeah, within the Scale's private network, you wouldn't have to worry about anything going over open channels, if that's what you're looking for.

Argyle:Oh, okay.

Argyle:Cool.

Argyle:I would like to, if our group's willing, to go with me to the Scale.

Johnny:I always wanted to be inside one of these places.

Benny:Why not?

Argyle:Maybe we can get these more IDs checked out to see if they're real stuff.

Benny:We're here.

Argyle:Oh yeah, yeah.

Argyle:Don't tell them what you do, please.

Johnny:What do you mean?

Johnny:I'm a poet.

Argyle:Great.

Argyle:Yeah, you can tell them that.

Gamemaster:Okay, so you're looking for the nearest Pact Broker office in the area.

Argyle:Yes.

Gamemaster:That is easy to do.

Gamemaster:You haven't been in this area before, and it's not like you have a phone you can use to Google Maps it, but there are directories at Payphones around that you can use to look up the address of it.

Gamemaster:And head down a few blocks to The Scale Pact Broker office.

Gamemaster:The office itself is relatively...

Gamemaster:Quaint is the wrong term.

Gamemaster:It is austere.

Gamemaster:There aren't frills.

Gamemaster:This isn't the place that's designed to impress people.

Gamemaster:This is where they're actually doing work.

Gamemaster:You gather that if they're looking to get larger clients and stuff, there's a separate central office that people would go to.

Argyle:Thank you very much.

Gamemaster:This is more of a, okay, so listen, we need solicitors to handle this thing, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Gamemaster:But you are a...

Gamemaster:card-carrying member of the Scale.

Gamemaster:So you are granted entry in, and if you want, you're made... You're able to use the fax machine and the telephone, if you like.

Gamemaster:They're not going to let you start poking through files and stuff like that.

Gamemaster:That's all confidential.

Argyle:I would like to set up a line with Dame Quay.

Gamemaster:But for communications, sure.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Key.

Argyle:Key, damn key.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Argyle:I'd ideally like to do it privately.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's fine.

Gamemaster:Privately as in you can ask other people to leave the room.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:I don't know if you know that this room is soundproofed necessarily, but it's private.

Argyle:That's fine.

Gamemaster:When you say private, do you mean also with the other three people in your party not in the room?

Argyle:Yeah, those people got part of it.

Gamemaster:Okay, sure.

Gamemaster:You can ask them to leave, that's fine.

Anzu:Wait out here, I guess.

Gamemaster:above the table is this a conversation you want to have without the players listening to or okay okay that's fine that's fine okay so

Argyle:No, no, no, that's fine.

Argyle:That's fine.

Argyle:They can listen.

Argyle:I just met these people.

Argyle:I'm not going to be like, all right.

Argyle:Hey, boss, here's all these bozos.

Gamemaster:So you set up a direct line.

Gamemaster:It takes a little bit of phone tag before you get Dame Quay on the line.

Gamemaster:But you can eventually, you do get a line to her.

Gamemaster:She'll answer and say, What is it?

Gamemaster:Anything to report?

Argyle:Yes, so a couple things to report.

Argyle:Made contact successfully.

Argyle:I have been chatting with some groups from other factions.

Argyle:One of them is a magical kid that might be possessed.

Argyle:I'm not sure.

Gamemaster:Interesting.

Argyle:The other is a poet.

Argyle:I'll leave it at that.

Argyle:And then there's a bird sorcerer.

Argyle:Anyway, we took an odd...

Gamemaster:Faction alliances would be more useful than physical description.

Argyle:Sorry, I'm sorry.

Argyle:I still need to do this.

Argyle:Two of them are from The Watcher.

Argyle:And then the other one is... Yes.

Gamemaster:When you say from the Watcher, do you mean Belvedere?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Argyle:And then... And then one of them is... One of the Ghosts of Raelion.

Gamemaster:And you do hear, like, very faint screeching on the other end as she's writing down what you're saying.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Any of them seem particularly dangerous?

Argyle:They seem friendly to me.

Gamemaster:That didn't answer the question.

Gamemaster:You seem friendly sometimes.

Gamemaster:I would still classify you as dangerous.

Argyle:Then yes.

Argyle:We also took an odd job to align ourselves in the faction, and we got jumped by two, and I pull out my little notepad.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Argyle:I forgot what they're actually called, but I'll tell her what they're called, Ugathal, and then I fax her copies of the IDs and ask if she could check those for us.

Gamemaster:She'll say, yes.

Gamemaster:You hear the clacking sound on the other end of the telephone as it gets printed out.

Gamemaster:She says, I can ask some of our members of the Everchain if they've seen something like this before.

Gamemaster:What is the particular word?

Gamemaster:Do you think more will be hunting you?

Gamemaster:Or is this just general information?

Argyle:unsure i'm unsure if more will be coming and then also it could be good to know uh keep tags on that organization i don't know if they employed more of the people from this persuasion or perhaps these people were killed by these monsters sounds good

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Well, I'll have somebody look into it in either case.

Gamemaster:We can have an information packet sent to your current residence, assuming it hasn't moved, if we find anything out.

Argyle:Oh, and then I give her the update on the last case we did with the signal from the song.

Gamemaster:That's interesting.

Gamemaster:Do you think that's related in some way to the Voidsong that you're investigating?

Argyle:My theory is it's the opposite of the Voidsong.

Argyle:In fact, it's a starward song.

Argyle:We'll leave that to the theologians.

Gamemaster:All right, I'll keep that in mind.

Gamemaster:I'll update the file.

Argyle:All right, that's it for me.

Gamemaster:Anything else to report?

Gamemaster:How are you doing?

Argyle:Doing well, doing well.

Argyle:Project's going well so far.

Gamemaster:Wasn't talking about the project, but that's fine.

Argyle:Well, appreciate it, appreciate it.

Argyle:I'm getting used to this thing, you know.

Gamemaster:OK.

Gamemaster:That's fair.

Gamemaster:Listen, if anything goes wrong, I can't be there in person, but we can arrange for somebody on the ground if that needs to happen.

Argyle:Will do.

Argyle:Thank you.

Argyle:Appreciate it.

Argyle:All right.

Argyle:Signing out.

Gamemaster:Good luck.

Gamemaster:And there's a soft click as the phone hangs up.

Argyle:I leave the room.

Benny:When he meets Becca with us, Benny will go, man, you were in there forever.

Benny:I hope everything came out okay.

Gamemaster:It isn't, though.

Johnny:Nice.

Johnny:Good one.

Johnny:I high-five Benny.

Benny:Benny will laugh.

Benny:Yeah, it's like high-fiving.

Argyle:When you high-five him, it's like high-fiving a grown man.

Gamemaster:Because, like, the force of a grown man, but with the surface area of a nine-year-old's hand has got to be worse than distributing the crust like an adult hand.

Benny:It feels like

Benny:It feels like you were hit in the hand with a beanbag from one of those beanbag shotguns.

Anzu:We need to go to the grocery store.

Johnny:Ow.

Gamemaster:Is there any other activity you guys would like to do while you're in the city?

Gamemaster:And now you have some money.

Gamemaster:You've got a hundred gold pieces, a thousand bucks to your name.

Johnny:Oh my gosh.

Johnny:And we need tinfoil and we need, that's why this whole thing got started.

Johnny:We need tinfoil and we need to get eggs.

Benny:Hmm.

Gamemaster:Wait, sorry, what were the eggs for?

Johnny:Isn't that what...

Gamemaster:Oh, you were just asked to pick up eggs while you were out grocery shopping.

Anzu:Yeah, Josh, you asked us for eggs.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:I just needed to remember what the context rather was because I thought it was related to your plans somehow.

Gamemaster:It wasn't.

Gamemaster:Ginny was just like, hey, if you're going out, I'd like some eggs too.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:Because originally the plan was to go to a grocery store, not take a courier job.

Gamemaster:It has been hours since he asked you for eggs.

Johnny:We got sidetracked.

Johnny:Benny, do you wanna go pick up your multi-tool as well while we're out and about?

Benny:Uh, is that in this area, or?

Gamemaster:No.

Johnny:And we can stop over there.

Gamemaster:But you can go to it.

Gamemaster:That's allowed.

Benny:Sure.

Benny:But while we're in this weird, fancy area, is there anything else that tickles our fancy?

Anzu:I believe there's a lot of jewelry to be purchased around here.

Johnny:Is there any...

Johnny:Do I have the spell?

Benny:Are they candy shops?

Johnny:I don't have the spell.

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:There definitely aren't any candy shops in the Diamond District.

Benny:Can Benny go to a magic item dealer and request they make a lollipop that never goes bad?

Argyle:And let's .

Benny:Like it's just a forever lollipop?

Gamemaster:You want an everlasting gobstopper?

Gamemaster:Is that what you want?

Benny:Yeah, but in Giant comic lollipop form.

Benny:Benny doesn't actually like lollipops, but he knows it will add to his ability to look nine years old.

Johnny:What does that mean, look nine years old?

Johnny:What does that mean, his ability to look nine years old?

Benny:Nine-year-olds know what looking like a nine-year-old looks like.

Benny:If they put on a leather jacket, they start looking 30.

Benny:I don't have to spend any more time on this.

Gamemaster:Give me a second to look at all of the items that have the lozenge trait, which is a real trait, just to see if there's anything you know.

Argyle:Do you remember that?

Argyle:Do you remember that old commercial?

Benny:I'm just joking.

Johnny:Unhidden.

Gamemaster:I'm just looking to, like, you know, get pricing-wise.

Anzu:How much is a basic healing potion?

Benny:$80,000.

Gamemaster:Well, so there's the galvanic chew, which I think is kind of close, but it's 75 gold pieces.

Benny:I'm not.

Gamemaster:It's also a level 8 item.

Johnny:Crazy.

Benny:Wave level.

Gamemaster:Cinnamon Seers?

Benny:Bullet wave level.

Gamemaster:Bubblegum?

Argyle:Oh, who's going to be... Who's good with money here?

Gamemaster:Why isn't Ginger Candy a level 5 item that's 28 cold pieces?

Argyle:And...

Gamemaster:All it does is it reduces your sickened value by 1.

Benny:And you have to eat it?

Benny:Oh.

Gamemaster:Um, no, it's a lozenge, so you just put it in your mouth.

Benny:Oh, OK.

Gamemaster:You can drink elixirs and potions and beverages with a lozenge in your mouth, but you can't benefit from more than one lozenge at the same time, so don't even try.

Benny:It's literally just Willy Wonka.

Benny:No, no, you can't be greedy.

Benny:You can't eat too much candy or the fucking Oompa Loompas will shoot you in the head in here.

Benny:All right, if we don't have anything else... Actually, Tanner, you were going to ask how much a what is?

Johnny:Hate when that happens.

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Anzu:I want to buy just some basic healing potions.

Benny:Oh, yeah.

Johnny:Very smart.

Argyle:Thank you.

Anzu:I'm looking at four gold pieces each.

Anzu:Looks to be the standard price.

Gamemaster:Yeah, if you're looking to buy potions, there's definitely, like, not here, but nearby, there would be an apothecary in, like, a neighboring neighborhood that you could definitely go to and pick up if you wanted a custom Everlasting Gobstopper and also healing potions.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Benny:You said it's four gold pieces?

Gamemaster:It's going to be four gold pieces per healing potion, and then I'm going to say it's two gold pieces for a lollipop that doesn't go away when you lick it.

Gamemaster:But also... Yeah, sure.

Benny:I... I tried to steer away from it, but you just made it the exact price where if you're like, it's five, I would've been like, I'm not taking one, but you're like, it's two gold pieces.

Benny:Fuck.

Benny:Alright, so let's... To an apothecary?

Anzu:I guess we could just split it.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Benny:do you guys want your money right now sure this is recorded in the ledger by the way

Gamemaster:Is there somebody doing...

Johnny:Yeah, should we just split it up since some of us owe each other money?

Argyle:The 9 year old.

Gamemaster:Doing bookkeeping for the group?

Gamemaster:Is that happening?

Gamemaster:Mike's doing that?

Gamemaster:You're letting the nine-year-old do it?

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Johnny:He's good at math.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Of course.

Anzu:So we're just going to take 25.

Anzu:Ah.

Anzu:Yeah, I have nine written down for myself.

Benny:We're each taking 10.

Johnny:I apparently did not write down whatever money you owe me.

Benny:They gave us 40 gold.

Argyle:Well, I will.

Benny:Yeah, everyone gets 25.

Argyle:the only thing is okay 25. so i'll give nine and then seven i believe those are the two numbers correct six

Gamemaster:I mean, I can check.

Gamemaster:One second.

Gamemaster:Um... Johnny gave six.

Johnny:Okay, cool.

Gamemaster:Johnny gave six, uh, and Gillywood was nine.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:All right.

Gamemaster:And Benny had one silver piece at the time.

Benny:True.

Johnny:Josh, as we're walking around, is there like a jeweler that seems special?

Johnny:Is there a sunglasses place anywhere nearby?

Gamemaster:Yeah, there's a Luxottica if you're looking.

Johnny:I'd like to stop there.

Johnny:Hey, friend, how's it going?

Gamemaster:So...

Argyle:I will be following this.

Gamemaster:You're in the area where this is, like, luxury branding sunglasses.

Gamemaster:It's not like a sunglass hut, you know?

Gamemaster:So you walk in.

Gamemaster:There's expensive-looking glasses on both sides of the wall on, like, glass shelves.

Gamemaster:Somebody who's in... They're elven.

Gamemaster:They're in...

Gamemaster:The weirdest fashion you've ever seen.

Gamemaster:It's like a trash bag that's four times longer than normal, and it's been wrapped around like a weird toga.

Gamemaster:They're wearing glasses that are crescent-shaped, but it's the bottom of the frame, and then the lens are the top half, so that if you look down, you're not looking through any lens at all.

Gamemaster:And then you walk in, Ringo Starr, they look at you, they clock you, they immediately think this person can't afford anything.

Johnny:I'll pull off the really cheap plastic sunglasses I have that are like the gold stars, the black in them.

Gamemaster:in the store and like with visible disgust on their face they say welcome what are you looking for um yes

Johnny:Can you make these but in solid gold and with some sort of really cool black material here?

Argyle:I'm just there looking.

Johnny:All right, how much will that be?

Gamemaster:One second.

Gamemaster:Do you want them to do anything or are you looking for them to just be made out of gold with, like, dark lenses?

Johnny:Can you put, like, a detect magic or something on there?

Johnny:Well, actually, just Tanner up detect magic.

Johnny:Tanner detect magic.

Gamemaster:So the...

Anzu:I don't currently have detect magic.

Anzu:I thought I did.

Gamemaster:I wish there was a way for me to do filter items by worn on face.

Johnny:Who.

Anzu:I may change that in the future, but I don't currently have detect magic.

Gamemaster:I can filter by worn items, but I can't do any more than that.

Gamemaster:Maybe it's under subcategory.

Gamemaster:So you guys are level 2, so there aren't actually many worn items that we can borrow from anyway.

Johnny:Who.

Gamemaster:One second.

Johnny:Could I request a level three item and just not pick it up until we're level three?

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:What is the item that you're looking to get?

Gamemaster:How about we do that?

Johnny:Glasses of sociability.

Gamemaster:Of course.

Gamemaster:Yeah, they can do that.

Gamemaster:It would be 60 gold pieces.

Johnny:Oh, never mind.

Johnny:I don't have that kind of money, friend.

Johnny:What if... Here's the thing.

Johnny:What if...

Johnny:You do it for 20 and I'll tell everyone how great this place is.

Gamemaster:Roll a diplomacy check.

Anzu:Alien DC.

Benny:Thank you.

Argyle:Argyle's eating in the back.

Argyle:He's looking at some sunglasses.

Argyle:He's like looking close to...

Gamemaster:I'm sorry, sir.

Gamemaster:We don't haggle here.

Gamemaster:If it's too much for you, I might suggest perhaps looking in Sableclutch, Teller's Run, somewhere not here.

Johnny:You know, friend, I know that you're an elf and everything and you live for a long time, but there are clothes that last longer than trash bags.

Johnny:They make those now.

Johnny:Come on, Argyle.

Johnny:We'll walk out.

Gamemaster:uh as you you exit the the glasses um it's a worby smoker um

Benny:Thank you.

Argyle:As we exit, I hand Johnny one of my cigarettes.

Johnny:Did you say a cigarette?

Argyle:You want one?

Argyle:Yeah, you want one?

Johnny:Yeah, sure.

Johnny:Thanks.

Argyle:I light it.

Argyle:It's just myrrh.

Johnny:Wait, like myrrh the spice?

Argyle:I got frankincense and I got myrrh.

Argyle:Do you want either one?

Johnny:Do you have gold as well?

Johnny:Are you Jesus Christ?

Gamemaster:I'm just double-checking if that's a real thing.

Argyle:Yeah, no.

Argyle:These are pretty...

Johnny:I'll smoke some.

Benny:That would be such a funny line.

Benny:It's just not that good.

Benny:I don't like it either, but it was a gift.

Johnny:I guess I'll smoke my myrrh cigarette.

Johnny:You're like... Where'd you get this?

Gamemaster:The answer is no, you don't smoke myrrh.

Gamemaster:But still, that's fine.

Johnny:Where'd you get this?

Argyle:popular at this Scale.

Argyle:You know, frankincense, myrrh, gold kind of things, you know.

Johnny:You guys are smoking gold?

Johnny:Like...

Johnny:Or is it wrapped in gold leaf?

Argyle:Some, yeah, if you can afford it, yeah.

Argyle:Not really one of the apprentices are going to be having those, but you can see where the big waves are.

Johnny:I'm just trying to blow a smoke ring, but it's really bad.

Johnny:It's like, I don't know how it works.

Gamemaster:Johnny, you're pretty confident that he got murdered for an incense set and then rolled it himself.

Argyle:Now that...

Gamemaster:There's no branding on the cigarette.

Gamemaster:He didn't take it out of a box.

Gamemaster:It was just a loose cigarette that he took out of his pocket.

Johnny:This is bad.

Johnny:I... I keep smoking it and just keep coughing and not enjoying it.

Argyle:You know, now that you actually smoked one of them, you realize that I smell a lot like frankincense and myrrh, and it makes a lot more sense now.

Gamemaster:Okay, good.

Argyle:It kind of grows on you, doesn't it?

Gamemaster:Good.

Johnny:No, it's not.

Argyle:I find it builds a bigger, stronger connection with your brain that's young.

Benny:There's so many.

Johnny:I look at my raiment.

Johnny:Is it any bigger?

Johnny:I cast Eat Fire and try it that way.

Gamemaster:No, but like your lungs are kind of burning.

Gamemaster:You're just inhaling smoke right now.

Argyle:so those are organic i'm telling you this is gonna be a big thing

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:It's a lot better.

Gamemaster:You know for a fact that everything you eat for the next week is going to taste exclusively of myrrh, which is not a thing that people season food with for good reason.

Johnny:Is this wrapped in one of your calling cards?

Johnny:This is bad.

Johnny:Yep.

Benny:There's... There's so many... There's so many possible Dracula flowlights.

Benny:I'm smoking myrrh.

Benny:I'm smoking frankincense.

Benny:My blunts are biblical.

Gamemaster:So you guys are going to the under table to pick up the poly tool for Benny?

Gamemaster:Is that what's happening?

Benny:Yep.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay, great.

Gamemaster:Segway.

Gamemaster:You hop on the tram.

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:It's two silver pieces every time you take the tram, so mark off two there and then another two for when you return.

Johnny:Oh gosh.

Gamemaster:You make it to the under table.

Gamemaster:It's the same day, so Smiler said he'd hold onto it for you.

Gamemaster:There isn't, like, a lot of demand.

Gamemaster:for a poly tool at a pawn shop anyway.

Gamemaster:So he hasn't even put it behind the, uh, the counter yet.

Benny:What's up, my man?

Gamemaster:You show in, he's, uh, you walk in, he's still like kind of crouched under the table because this building was, sorry, under the floor ceiling.

Gamemaster:That's the word.

Gamemaster:Uh, cause this building was not really meant for centaurs.

Gamemaster:Um, but he sees nine year olds.

Gamemaster:You walk in, uh, still has the poly tool waiting for you.

Gamemaster:You can, you can pay for it and dip if you like.

Gamemaster:Not much.

Gamemaster:Didn't expect to see you here today.

Gamemaster:Again.

Benny:Well, I came into a bit of money recently.

Gamemaster:Did you rob a guy?

Benny:I mean, people died, but there was no robbing.

Benny:Anyways, how much is the poly tool?

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:Nine.

Anzu:Thank you.

Benny:Nine.

Benny:Perfect.

Benny:He'll give him nine, and then he'll give him two silver pieces and be like, this is just for you.

Benny:Like, slide them up.

Gamemaster:If you're just going to give me money for free, I could charge you full price.

Gamemaster:It's normally $10.

Benny:Oh.

Benny:My bad.

Benny:He'll take the two back.

Gamemaster:He's like, I gave you a discount because Johnny asked me to if you don't want the discount.

Benny:No, no, no.

Benny:I'll take the discount.

Benny:Do you sell runes here?

Benny:Okay.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:What are you looking for?

Gamemaster:Nothing now that you're going to come back?

Benny:Probably.

Argyle:Can you also put a ring for me, Arnold?

Gamemaster:Alright.

Benny:If you could put a crushing rune on hold for me, that would be nice.

Gamemaster:Runes don't run out.

Gamemaster:So, sure.

Benny:It's a great motto.

Gamemaster:Yeah, okay, kid.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:I carve the runes myself.

Gamemaster:I either have them or I don't.

Gamemaster:There's no stock.

Argyle:Just so that he can know.

Gamemaster:So, sure.

Argyle:Yes, thank you.

Gamemaster:Anyone else want me to put a rune behind the table here so no one else buys it?

Johnny:No, Smiler, try this cigarette.

Johnny:I hand it over to him.

Argyle:Oh, no.

Argyle:I'll get you a fresh one.

Argyle:Here you go.

Gamemaster:He'll take it.

Gamemaster:He lights it.

Gamemaster:He takes one puff.

Gamemaster:Starts hacking up his snorb.

Johnny:It's bad, right?

Gamemaster:What the fuck is this?

Johnny:This is terrible.

Johnny:It's myrrh.

Gamemaster:It's just burr?

Johnny:Yeah, it's not...

Gamemaster:He offers it back to you, Argyle?

Gamemaster:Because otherwise it's going in the trash.

Argyle:I'm smoking these.

Argyle:I'm smoking these, yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay, so he drops it and he stomps on it.

Argyle:You want to try the frankincense?

Gamemaster:I don't... Do you have any with tobacco?

Benny:I heard that's bad for you.

Gamemaster:Is this...

Argyle:Yeah, actually.

Argyle:I could pull out a different one.

Argyle:Sure.

Johnny:Johnny looks...

Anzu:That's correct.

Gamemaster:He'll take it.

Gamemaster:He'll smell it.

Gamemaster:Does it smell like this is a tobacco cigarette?

Gamemaster:Or did you just give him a frankincense one?

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:No, it is tobacco.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:He'll like that one.

Gamemaster:Stop putting burnt frankincense in the cigarette!

Benny:It's just a little bit.

Anzu:Oh, geez.

Gamemaster:A little bit of cracker up.

Anzu:Smiler.

Anzu:My friends have been damaging their lungs.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Anzu:Do you by any chance sell healing potions?

Gamemaster:Did you guys not go to an apothecary to buy them already?

Anzu:Oh, I don't know if we were hand-waving that or not.

Gamemaster:Yeah, we were hand-waving that.

Gamemaster:You don't need to actually go to the store if you're just looking to buy potions.

Gamemaster:The answer, by the way, is no, Smiler would not be selling health potions.

Gamemaster:He might have a potion or two that somebody pawned off of unknown properties, but they don't have potions on tap.

Anzu:I bought two.

Johnny:What do you got that does stuff you don't know?

Johnny:Ooh.

Gamemaster:And he'll gesture to the two potions.

Gamemaster:He has two potions for eight gold each of unknown function.

Gamemaster:And then he has like machinery bits that fell off the back of a truck that don't look like they go to anything in particular but might be part of a larger hole that he's not sure but is available for scrap.

Johnny:How much for that?

Gamemaster:If you just want random scrap, I will let you take it away for seven gold pieces.

Gamemaster:If you want just a bundle of machinery from dubious origin.

Johnny:Yeah, I'll take that.

Johnny:I'll take the dubious origin machinery pieces.

Johnny:And then I'll...

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Johnny:I'll lean across and say, hey, Smiler, just so this is going both ways, if you see Donnie, tell him to talk to Red.

Johnny:I'm running into some weird stuff out here.

Gamemaster:if you recall, you had already asked Smiler that last session.

Argyle:Thank you.

Johnny:Oh, it's been a minute.

Gamemaster:It's been a while, so it's not a problem, but you definitely did already ask Smiler to do that, and in-game, that was like six hours ago.

Johnny:Never mind, I won't say that.

Johnny:buy my hunk of scrap.

Johnny:It's bad.

Gamemaster:Stop smoking it, man.

Johnny:He's a friend now.

Johnny:I'm trying to be polite.

Johnny:He seems to like him.

Johnny:I feel like if I keep smoking it, maybe it'll grow on me.

Gamemaster:He'll look straight at Argo and say, do you enjoy that?

Argyle:Argyle generally does.

Gamemaster:Would it be offensive to you if somebody said they didn't?

Argyle:Duh.

Gamemaster:Stop smoking it.

Argyle:It's, you know, it's like if you really liked vanilla ice cream.

Argyle:If someone says vanilla sucks, you're gonna go, ah, that's crazy.

Johnny:Oh, it is crazy.

Johnny:Vanilla ice cream is pretty good.

Anzu:I like rum raisin.

Argyle:Right?

Argyle:So, that's one line with the murder in the frankincense.

Johnny:Oh, that was pretty good.

Argyle:Do you want your own?

Argyle:And I offer not not not to the kid.

Johnny:You have a rum raisin cigarette?

Argyle:Now, the.

Anzu:I'll pass on the myrrh, thank you.

Argyle:Okay.

Johnny:I'll take one last.

Johnny:And then I'll...

Johnny:Go outside and stomp it out.

Gamemaster:Gross friend.

Gamemaster:All right.

Gamemaster:Anything else you want while you're here?

Johnny:Hey, good seeing you.

Johnny:I wanted to let you know.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:When I see him, I'll let him know.

Gamemaster:All right.

Gamemaster:Out into the wide world you go.

Gamemaster:What's the plan now?

Johnny:Eggs and tinfoil.

Anzu:Right, and then we stop home.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Argyle:Actually, one final thing.

Argyle:Does he have a glass cutter?

Gamemaster:Yes.

Gamemaster:Definitely has a glass cutter.

Argyle:I'd like to buy that.

Argyle:Okay, that would be useful at some point in this campaign, having something that can cut glass.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:It's five bucks.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:There's a 50 bucks.

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Gamemaster:Five gold pieces.

Benny:Is he able to check the balance of our badges?

Gamemaster:He'll say, the only real way I have of checking it right now is charging something to it and then saying if it goes through, which is probably not a good idea, given it seems like you mugged two cops for these.

Johnny:Technically they bugged us, so... Now we're the...

Argyle:You also didn't need to bring up the killing.

Gamemaster:But... No, if somebody mugs you and then you take their shit, that's still a mugging.

Benny:Also, super tech... No, no, no.

Benny:This is different.

Gamemaster:Like, there's no such thing as self-defense mugging.

Benny:It's a transitive... No, no, no.

Benny:It's a transitive mugging.

Benny:These guys that we killed killed the cops.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:So we killed them and now we have the cops.

Gamemaster:That's still... Listen, listen.

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:You're a kid, so the intricacies of our legal system are not all open to you, but you...

Johnny:If this guy's a kid, then I'm not a poet.

Johnny:I don't know.

Johnny:This is not a regular kid.

Gamemaster:Okay, that's actually, that's worse.

Benny:Oh my God, they took away your license?

Gamemaster:Like, if this is actually an adult pretending to be a kid, then you should know how the legal system works in this city.

Gamemaster:And you can't kill somebody and take their stuff.

Gamemaster:Killing in self-defense, totally fine.

Gamemaster:That's a God's given right to you.

Gamemaster:Taking their stuff is theft.

Argyle:What if it's not their stuff anymore?

Anzu:He is right because it's still contraband.

Gamemaster:Right.

Gamemaster:Either way, if you need me to see if I can dig up somebody who can check the balance on that, which I can do that.

Gamemaster:I can go ask him around.

Johnny:Don't put yourself out like that.

Gamemaster:But that would also cost money as well because you'd need expertise.

Benny:Think we might just roll the dice somewhere.

Argyle:If we charge something from your store.

Gamemaster:Listen.

Gamemaster:Yeah, just try it somewhere that you can get away from quickly if it doesn't go through.

Gamemaster:Alright, anything else?

Benny:Okay.

Argyle:Can I buy a grappling gun?

Gamemaster:I don't want to just say yes to that.

Anzu:All right.

Gamemaster:Shit, it's a level 0 item?

Johnny:Why were we using grappling guns all last campaign?

Gamemaster:Legitimately, I don't know.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I'll let you buy a level 0 grappling gun.

Gamemaster:It's three gold pieces.

Argyle:And how much rope can I buy?

Gamemaster:It comes with 100 feet of thin metal cord.

Gamemaster:You can't just attach regular rope to it.

Argyle:Oh, can I buy another hundred?

Gamemaster:No, you cannot extend the grappling hook past the 100 feet that are part of the grappling hook.

Johnny:You know what?

Johnny:I'm going to buy a grappling gun too.

Johnny:level zero.

Gamemaster:Yeah, absolutely.

Gamemaster:If you want, you both can get a grappling hook.

Benny:Benny will...

Gamemaster:Or a grappling gun.

Argyle:How much is it?

Gamemaster:It's three gold pieces per.

Argyle:Wait, how much?

Argyle:Wait, doesn't he give us a discount, though?

Gamemaster:Oh, right.

Gamemaster:Yeah, he'd give you 10% off.

Gamemaster:He'd give you 10% off the glass cutter as well.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:So...

Argyle:I spent... I have eight gold now, so I'll just give myself 10% of that.

Argyle:I have two gold now, so I got it.

Gamemaster:I trust that you can do 10%.

Benny:Benny will look at the bird and say, can you fly?

Benny:You can't fly, right?

Benny:We've been through this.

Anzu:No, only Othello can fly.

Benny:Okay.

Benny:I just want to make sure that... Yes.

Gamemaster:Who is also a bird.

Benny:I just want to make sure that, you know, if these two go grappling somewhere, you're not going to fly up with them and then I'm stuck on the ground.

Benny:So we'll be ground buddies.

Anzu:Yeah, that sounds good.

Argyle:Wait, how much is a medicine kit?

Argyle:Do I need to buy one of those?

Argyle:Cool, I will buy that.

Gamemaster:I want to say there are 10 gold pieces.

Gamemaster:Let me double check.

Gamemaster:Let's see.

Gamemaster:What is it?

Gamemaster:Is it a healer's kit?

Gamemaster:It isn't called a healer's tool kit.

Gamemaster:It's five gold pieces.

Gamemaster:Required for medicine checks to administer first aid, treat disease, treat poison, or treat wound.

Argyle:cool i i put in like a little dog i get like a doctor's bag

Anzu:I see.

Johnny:Nice.

Johnny:All right, now eggs and tinfoil.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:You guys make your way over to the nearest Maple Tree Farms.

Gamemaster:We're not quite at supermarket levels of market yet.

Gamemaster:This is closer to a green grocer.

Gamemaster:It's smaller.

Gamemaster:It's not family-owned.

Gamemaster:It's definitely owned by a corporation, by an org, but it isn't massive footprint, whatever.

Argyle:you

Gamemaster:You can go in, you can grab your tinfoil and your produce.

Gamemaster:Was there anything else you guys wanted while you were in here?

Gamemaster:Grabbing tinfoil and eggs?

Gamemaster:I don't know if there's any other foodstuffs that you would need at this particular juncture.

Anzu:Just tell me the cost.

Benny:I do also want to note down that Benny did purchase the Everlasting Lollipop, so he's just licking that in the store, like skipping around.

Gamemaster:Okay, it'll be three silver pieces.

Anzu:All right.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Johnny:Full plate.

Argyle:I really hope.

Anzu:Got to really sell the child vibe.

Benny:What do you mean, child buy?

Argyle:It's going to be really creepy.

Argyle:I turned to Johnny.

Argyle:I go, it's going to be really creepy if I die as a fully grown man.

Johnny:I'm waiting for it.

Johnny:You know, I've seen weirder things.

Johnny:I turned away.

Argyle:It's a lollipop now, though, you know?

Johnny:Yeah, I don't know where that came from.

Argyle:He didn't need to do that.

Johnny:I don't know.

Johnny:It's either one, he really wanted a lollipop and really likes it, or two, he's very aware of who he is.

Anzu:Alright, let's go back to the Sin and Tonic.

Gamemaster:The Sin and Tonic?

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:You take the tram back.

Gamemaster:That's another two silver pieces.

Anzu:Yeah.

Gamemaster:You head over to the Sin and Tonic.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:Indeed, look and bar.

Gamemaster:If you recall, there are sensors from the ceiling that are burning tobacco, which are now, I guess, freshly mingling with the very, very strong scent of myrrh that has surrounded your party.

Gamemaster:Given that you were both smoking a 100% myrrh cigarette for, like, a considerable amount of time.

Gamemaster:Like you ate an incense stick.

Gamemaster:Um... When you walk in, uh...

Johnny:Wasn't fun.

Gamemaster:Ginny is still behind the bar.

Gamemaster:Ilari still is out by the looks of it.

Gamemaster:Although it does look like Ginny does already have eggs.

Gamemaster:It's getting close to sunset.

Gamemaster:That's awkward to say, too, because it's two.

Gamemaster:Sunset.

Gamemaster:You know, this bar makes food because they're legally required to in order to serve alcohol, not because Ginny's a particularly good chef.

Gamemaster:So there are a few people in at this point, like regulars, people are starting to flow in, order drinks and stuff, and yet Ginny is behind the bar in alternating between making drinks and it looks like making a scrambled egg.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Anzu:So non-iconoclasm people do still come here.

Anzu:Like this is a public business.

Gamemaster:Yes, this is a functioning public business that just also happens to be where Iconoclasm has their headquarters.

Anzu:Fascinating.

Gamemaster:Mostly in part because before the whole Voidsong thing happened, they were a not particularly successful mercenary company.

Gamemaster:They needed some way to exist, so the bar was a way to supplement their income.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:It's not as important now that they're being marginally sponsored by other orgs who kind of want to get to the bottom of this whole Voidsong thing, but don't actually want to put manpower forward.

Gamemaster:But the bar still works.

Gamemaster:People still come.

Gamemaster:It is a dive bar.

Gamemaster:It's like, not a nice place, and it's not a place that you would go to unless it were the only bar in town that served cheap booze, which is true for this particular neighborhood.

Gamemaster:You found your way back in, and what are you looking to do now that you're here?

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Anzu:Well, first I add to the pile of eggs that were already acquired.

Gamemaster:So it...

Anzu:Listen, drunk people, Ginny, they'll definitely buy quiche if you tell them there's quiche.

Gamemaster:Like, you have, like, two cartons of eggs, and then that goes on top of, like, six other cartons of eggs.

Gamemaster:It kind of looks like Ginny asked everybody who was leaving the tavern at any point today to pick up some eggs, and they all came back with eggs.

Johnny:Do you want, I also ran a tavern for a long time.

Argyle:That's good.

Gamemaster:I've never made a quiche before, but if it's anything like scrambled eggs...

Anzu:Can't you kind of like expand your... Hmm.

Gamemaster:I don't have an inherent connection to like a cookbook or anything, if that's the question.

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:But I can make it.

Gamemaster:I'll just go off what it sounds like.

Johnny:I have a couple of recipes I could share.

Gamemaster:Do you have a recipe for quiche?

Johnny:Yeah, sure.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I'd love to learn how to make a quiche.

Johnny:Okay, do you have milk?

Gamemaster:No, I have eggs.

Johnny:Okay, do you have anything to make like a tart crust?

Gamemaster:The only thing I can make is scrambled eggs and bacon.

Gamemaster:Because the only ingredients you need for that are just non-scrambled eggs and bacon.

Argyle:Are the eggs pasteurized in the sun?

Gamemaster:It's really easy.

Johnny:I'm gonna show you how to make a very dense frittata.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Gamemaster:The only ingredient you have on hand is eggs.

Johnny:And bacon.

Johnny:Bacon.

Johnny:So it's a bacon.

Gamemaster:And bacon.

Gamemaster:That's true.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's fair.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Gamemaster:Um, no.

Gamemaster:They still have the waxy coating on the outside.

Argyle:Cool.

Argyle:And is refrigeration a thing here?

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:They're definitely refrigerators.

Gamemaster:They're still like the style of the thin red ones with the big handle that you have to pull.

Gamemaster:Like, if a nuke were going off that you could hide inside.

Gamemaster:We're not at smart fridges yet.

Gamemaster:But, yes, there are fridges.

Gamemaster:Um...

Gamemaster:Okay, you hand off your eggs.

Gamemaster:You've got your tinfoil.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Johnny:Once that's all done and I've shown Ginny how to make a dense frittata, I would like to take my sack of spare parts and make my way over to Anaïs and Anouk.

Gamemaster:Short.

Argyle:Thank you.

Johnny:Hey, friends.

Johnny:I found this bag of dubious spare parts.

Johnny:I bought them at a pawn shop.

Johnny:Thought you might be interested in them.

Johnny:I don't know.

Johnny:Maybe you can do something with it.

Johnny:Thought of you guys.

Gamemaster:And I will look over and say, well, we've had worse gifts than people bringing us strange mechanical parts.

Gamemaster:We'll definitely take a look.

Gamemaster:It's kind of low on the list of priorities unless there was something in particular you needed with this.

Gamemaster:All right, that works for us.

Johnny:No, I don't know if you see anything interesting, let me know.

Johnny:But otherwise, I thought you might be able to do something with it.

Gamemaster:Oh, actually, that reminds me.

Gamemaster:In terms of things that you've been asking us to do.

Gamemaster:And she'll, like, wheel over to another part of the very cluttered workshop that they're in.

Gamemaster:And you can see that this was a desk that at one time held a bunch of stuff and all kind of just got squished off to the side to make room for the radar dish that you guys stole on top of the roller rink that the two of them have been looking into while you've been off doing courier things.

Gamemaster:We'll see.

Gamemaster:Okay, so...

Gamemaster:I was able to do a little bit of asking around in regards to this dish.

Gamemaster:It is made by a company called Embercall Incorporated.

Gamemaster:Relatively small company.

Gamemaster:It was only created like two or three months ago, something like that.

Gamemaster:No owner on file.

Gamemaster:It's owned by a secondary corporation that's acting as its beneficiary that I did not have permission to look up the details of because it's a...

Gamemaster:They're private.

Gamemaster:They paid the extra money for it to not be around.

Gamemaster:So that's a little bit of a dead end.

Gamemaster:But I did find the location of their headquarters is a P.O. Box, which, coincidentally, trying to find the source of the signal that this thing was pointed at, there is a...

Gamemaster:It appears to be coming from Gryphonline, which is a logistics mail company, something of that nature.

Gamemaster:It's pointed right at a semi-nearby Gryphonline distribution center, which is coincidentally where the P.O. Box is registered.

Gamemaster:So I imagine that that is relevant in some way.

Gamemaster:I couldn't get any more information about what the signal itself is.

Gamemaster:I tried...

Gamemaster:like booting the radar dish back up again and then piping it into a cell skull.

Gamemaster:Nothing of particular import came out, and I was weary of hooking it back up to that paper that you got, especially while in this workshop, because it would not be good if anything in here came alive.

Anzu:Yeah, smart.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:So I had Origin of the Signal and its creator, sure, but I couldn't tell you more about what it is actually for.

Anzu:That's great.

Anzu:That's super helpful.

Anzu:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Of course.

Gamemaster:Should I be holding on to it now?

Gamemaster:Because I can stuff it somewhere, but I kind of need to reclaim the desk space.

Anzu:Yeah, just hold it somewhere.

Anzu:That's fine.

Benny:The dish doesn't spin, right?

Argyle:You could put it in... I was going to say Benny's room, but I think it's fine.

Gamemaster:What?

Gamemaster:Why would I be storing it in one of your bedrooms?

Argyle:Because I think it might be small enough or big enough for Benny to sleep in it.

Johnny:In the dish?

Argyle:And then we can spin him.

Argyle:It'll be like a playground set.

Johnny:Wee!

Gamemaster:When it's installed, you can physically rotate it, but not autonomously, though.

Argyle:So is that like a company card that we can now rent out or take out?

Benny:Okay.

Gamemaster:The car?

Gamemaster:Yeah, I mean, it is for iconoclasm.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:If you need the day tripper for something, you can take it.

Gamemaster:So I, you know, just sign it out.

Anzu:Did the garage door rematerialization process kind of go through?

Gamemaster:We have, like, a little index card.

Gamemaster:Uh, no, we figured we'd just leave the hole.

Gamemaster:It kind of adds to the ambiance of the place, if I'm being honest.

Anzu:Huh?

Gamemaster:You can't see it from the front, because it's in the alley, and if any vagrants or whatever tried to walk in that way, they'd get murdered immediately by one of Dora's booby traps, so I'm not particularly worried.

Argyle:uh so we do take the car out uh can you show us can you show us now how would we take it out without trigger in a google chat good to know

Anzu:Alright.

Johnny:Johnny about to stick his head out the hole goes, okay, good to know.

Anzu:Fair enough.

Gamemaster:Oh, you're fine.

Gamemaster:The car itself deactivates the booby traps when it's near.

Gamemaster:I would not walk through the hole not in the car, though.

Gamemaster:You know, it'd be a little toasty.

Gamemaster:You'd get over it.

Argyle:Good job.

Johnny:Cheers.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:If there's anything else you need,

Gamemaster:We are at your service when we have the time.

Argyle:That's it.

Argyle:Thank you.

Benny:Sure.

Gamemaster:And you guys now have free use of the car, if you please.

Gamemaster:You do have to pay for gas if you're taking it on a particularly long trip.

Gamemaster:And you have to pay for repairs if you get it damaged in any way.

Gamemaster:But for general transport, yes.

Johnny:What are the state of roads, one, in the city, and then, like, between cities?

Johnny:Are there highways?

Gamemaster:There are highways.

Gamemaster:There are inter- and intrastate roads that go between the cities and also into other countries.

Gamemaster:The only real thing to keep Anaïs out for is...

Argyle:Watch this thing.

Gamemaster:Within the city, if you want to move along the infinite horizon in your car, you have to both purchase a slide, which allows the car to do that, and then you also need to purchase a license that allows you to do that at designated areas, because they really, really want you to be taking the public transport, because that controls where people can make the transition.

Gamemaster:But it is doable.

Gamemaster:Technically, all of the roads are also private, but you guys don't have to pay for any of it.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:If you wanted to go particularly far, there are toll roads that go outside of the city, but within the city limits are fine.

Argyle:How much are the licenses and the slides?

Gamemaster:A slide is two gold.

Gamemaster:They're relatively cheap.

Gamemaster:A license is going to be a gold a week.

Argyle:Can you turn on and off?

Gamemaster:What?

Argyle:Can you like pause it?

Gamemaster:It works kind of like the license has a physical coin slot on it that works like a parking meter.

Gamemaster:So you put the gold in and then it increases the time and then that slowly ticks down.

Johnny:That's cool.

Johnny:We should look into those.

Argyle:And what stat is driven?

Gamemaster:We're probably just going to make it dexterity for now, unless you have something that you can, like, unless you have a different stat that you think makes sense, at which point the answer is going to be we'll do that.

Gamemaster:If you, from Starfinder, what is the piloting stat backed by?

Argyle:Would we be able to use the piloting stat or not?

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:That's illegal.

Argyle:Might be it's it might be.

Anzu:I think it's backed by Onion Futures.

Johnny:Wow.

Johnny:That was a good poll.

Gamemaster:uh piloting in 2e is based on dex piloting in 1e is based on int

Benny:I was going to say it's backed by golf.

Benny:And Onion features better hits.

Argyle:It's either perception or it's a...

Gamemaster:So yeah, I think what'll happen is I might just make it a reflex save for the time being.

Gamemaster:Because that should also have proficiencies and stuff built into it.

Gamemaster:And then if it becomes a bigger part of the campaign, that will get more intense rules.

Argyle:Alright, so I didn't get a license.

Johnny:What, above table, what's everyone's reflexes?

Johnny:Anyone got a really high reflex?

Argyle:I'm not completely fucked up.

Benny:plus two oh uh reflex sorry i have two decks but eight reflex i don't i think money talks

Anzu:Yeah, I have two decks, six reflex.

Johnny:Same.

Johnny:What is the driving age?

Johnny:Wait, but what is the driving age?

Johnny:Is there a driving age?

Anzu:Yeah, I don't think the kid can draw.

Gamemaster:So, there are no driving licenses.

Gamemaster:You do not need a license to operate a motor vehicle.

Argyle:Oh.

Gamemaster:You need a license to be able to slide the vehicle between parts of the horizon.

Gamemaster:You know, if you want to drive a car and you're four, then that's on you.

Anzu:You don't need a license to drive a sandwich.

Argyle:Great.

Benny:Drive a sandwich.

Gamemaster:You don't need... What?

Gamemaster:That's SpongeBob.

Gamemaster:That's definitely SpongeBob.

Benny:Yes.

Anzu:Yes, very good, Josh.

Anzu:The SpongeBob movie.

Gamemaster:You don't need a license.

Gamemaster:Oh.

Gamemaster:Is that the one with David Hasselhoff?

Anzu:It is very good, Josh.

Benny:It is.

Anzu:Very good.

Argyle:So yeah, I think we might want to purchase that because each trip is eight silver for us.

Johnny:Yeah.

Argyle:And then on the way back, it turns into 1.6 gold.

Anzu:All right, so is the license tied to a person's name?

Argyle:So we wasted a lot of money there.

Anzu:I missed that part of the... Okay, what was the cost for the first week?

Argyle:No.

Gamemaster:No, it's a physical device you install in the car.

Anzu:It's just one gold a week or something?

Gamemaster:Right.

Argyle:Two gold for the slide, one gold per week.

Gamemaster:You need two golds as the upfront cost to get the hardware that allows you to actually make the move between areas, and then it's one gold a week to be legally allowed to.

Anzu:All right, I'll spend the three golds to do all of that.

Argyle:Thank you.

Argyle:Also, I feel like it's okay if I can't do this, but can we retcon that I also mentioned to Damkey that the augury thing?

Argyle:It's just been out of game, like, months for me.

Gamemaster:Yeah, absolutely.

Argyle:But I would like to manage that.

Gamemaster:So we can say that you caught the dame up on the events that have happened since we started playing this campaign.

Argyle:Yes.

Argyle:Cool.

Johnny:wait let's get some eggs and talk about this well we'll get some eggs and talk about this over dinner

Anzu:So, I have a couple ideas.

Anzu:Unless, you know, if anybody else has any other thoughts, you know, please feel free.

Anzu:I kind of... Yeah, yeah, we'll get a table, sure.

Gamemaster:You guys can get Ginny's very first, very dense eggs and bacon attempt.

Gamemaster:It's weirdly undercooked in the middle and overcooked on the edges, but he's not a particularly good cook, so it's not super surprising.

Anzu:Now, Josh, he is a heart.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Anzu:Can he learn and improve?

Anzu:Okay, excellent.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Johnny:Oh.

Anzu:That's all I needed to know.

Anzu:Maybe tomorrow we buy some milk.

Gamemaster:It's like, yeah, it's a big, like, debate amongst arcanists about, like, do you consider hearts people?

Gamemaster:But, I mean, especially as someone from Belvedere, which has hearts as just, like, employees and members of the hierarchy, hearts are people.

Gamemaster:They can learn.

Gamemaster:They can process new information.

Gamemaster:They're just artificial.

Gamemaster:But they're people.

Gamemaster:They learn.

Anzu:I don't know if this question makes sense, but if they learn and gather information, does that make them more powerful, or is it just putting magical energy into them that makes them more powerful?

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Yeah, it's like learning can let them grow as a person, but it doesn't let them grow as a heart.

Gamemaster:A heart has some amount of magic energy that was given to them at their creation, and that's all they'll ever have unless some external force gives them more.

Anzu:Okay.

Gamemaster:They don't spontaneously grow.

Gamemaster:They can't get levels like a person could.

Anzu:Yeah, yeah.

Anzu:All right.

Anzu:Okay, so here's the deal.

Anzu:We got to learn more about this Pyrolyte, you know, folks.

Anzu:And they've got this Embercall company that they've put together.

Anzu:So, according to my thoughts, we have four possible leads that we could try to chase down.

Anzu:One...

Anzu:is to see if we could find Tywelwyn, which we could do by perhaps finding the rest of his Roundhat Gang.

Anzu:It's a little risky.

Anzu:They're a gang.

Anzu:But if we go in with the thought of we think that Tywelwyn was enchanted or magically manipulated, maybe they'd have... If we go in saying we want to help, they might be amenable.

Anzu:Anyway, so that's one possibility.

Anzu:The other is we spent some time in those sewers and we went out.

Anzu:But we could go in and see where that takes us.

Anzu:That's also dangerous because that's probably taking us right into the danger.

Anzu:Um...

Anzu:Seems like the Threshold Authority might be involved somehow, so we could look into them, see if they've got any unethical connections to Pyrelight or Embercall.

Argyle:Okay.

Anzu:And then the newest one, which is fantastic, is we got a location on the signal source of the dish, so that's its P.O. Box and the distribution center that its signal seems to come from.

Anzu:So those are the four leads that I've got in my brain.

Johnny:I agree.

Johnny:I can't think of any others.

Benny:I thought that anything will be too interesting in the P.O. Box.

Argyle:you you

Benny:I mean, maybe we could check on the shipping center that it's a part of and see if anything weird has been happening.

Johnny:Well, it says they said that's where the signal is coming from.

Johnny:So maybe we peek around there, see if we can.

Anzu:Yeah, actually, Josh, that's a good question.

Anzu:When they say Gryphonline Distribution Center, is that like a signal radio distribution or like a goods distribution?

Gamemaster:Good distribution.

Anzu:Are we aware?

Gamemaster:It is like the equivalent of a UPS, effectively, like a last mile warehouse type deal.

Anzu:Interesting.

Anzu:And as far as they can tell, that is some kind of origin point for the signal from the dish, that facility.

Argyle:And some of the machines were made there, right?

Anzu:The machines were made by Embercall.

Gamemaster:Correct.

Gamemaster:You don't know the origin of the particular, like where the radar dish was manufactured, but you know the company that manufactured it, their headquarters is a P.O.

Gamemaster:box at this particular Gryphonline.

Argyle:And then when's our meeting with the people in the sewers?

Johnny:That's this weekend.

Argyle:How many days?

Gamemaster:Yes, that's on the weekend.

Argyle:Three days now?

Argyle:Two days?

Gamemaster:It's currently like a Thursday.

Gamemaster:You have three days before your expected meeting with Whiskers and Co.

Argyle:I liked going deeper into the sewers and fighting a gang.

Anzu:Now, okay, I said talk to the gang, and I know we all heard that.

Argyle:Do you think they're going to want to talk to us?

Johnny:So pros and cons of each one.

Johnny:The gang, we could learn a little bit more about Tywelwyn and all that and see what he was up to.

Johnny:Also, maybe get a discount on roller skates.

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Johnny:I'm just saying.

Benny:What were the other leads?

Johnny:That'd be a fun team bonding activity.

Anzu:We do need to consider all pros and cons, so yes.

Johnny:Cons?

Johnny:Possibly dangerous gang.

Johnny:Who knows?

Johnny:Sewers?

Johnny:Pros?

Johnny:Coms, it's a sewer.

Johnny:My bell bottoms barely survived last time.

Argyle:You know what?

Argyle:I forgot about it.

Argyle:It smelled.

Argyle:I say we skip the sugar.

Anzu:Uh, the loosest lead is to just look into the Threshold Authority, which is one of the private police associations.

Anzu:They seemed to have been not all that concerned with what was going on in the roller rink, or I seem to remember we had a reason to believe they may be, like, have connections.

Gamemaster:Some of it was in-game, some of it was out-of-game, in that, like, in a previous one-shot, the Threshold Authority was the ones that had, like, kind of run you off the road or attempted to when you were going to Teller's Run to deal with the Spark originally.

Anzu:Right.

Gamemaster:And then in this campaign, they were the ones that did the search around the Roller Rink, but they left relatively early, and they didn't seem to pick up any...

Gamemaster:useful information which struck you as odd and then whiskers said that you can't trust them because you know they're evil um

Anzu:And then the fourth lead, Mike, is the radar dish signal.

Argyle:I'd rather take on... I think we should fight some gang and then fight the cops.

Argyle:I don't want to meet the cops.

Anzu:Okay, now I need to say this.

Anzu:I didn't say we're going to fight either of those groups.

Argyle:Oh, yeah, yeah, totally, totally.

Argyle:And I start stretching, but, like, as I'm stretching, I'm just, like, making sure my axe is within range.

Argyle:Oh, yeah, yeah, totally, we're not going to fight.

Argyle:They're totally going to be open to chatting.

Johnny:I...

Anzu:So...

Anzu:If we go with the gang, there's one of two ways.

Anzu:Well, there's a couple ways it could go, but what I'm hoping is that they haven't all been turned by whatever drove Tywelwyn crazy, because that would mean they're, one, probably easier to speak to, and two, may even be loose allies in a way, like enemy of my enemy.

Argyle:They are enemies.

Anzu:But I don't know.

Anzu:Maybe they've all been turned by whatever he heard.

Anzu:I have no idea.

Anzu:I also don't know how to find them.

Anzu:But I'm sure that there's people that would know in the town.

Benny:Sure.

Johnny:I'm still interested in checking out the P.O. Box, but that could be lower on the list.

Argyle:we can go to the box you want to just sit on it see who comes or less of you if we go to the p.m

Benny:Yeah, we can just ask at the P.O.

Benny:Box place and also see if anything weird was going on.

Benny:Okay, so was it the place where the signal originates or wasn't the dish pointed?

Benny:I guess...

Anzu:And then...

Gamemaster:The signal that the dish appeared to be receiving looked like it was originating from that Gremlin Line distribution center.

Gamemaster:They couldn't tell you any more information about it other than that's where it looked like it was coming from.

Benny:Would this distribution center have safety deposit boxes or just the PO boxes?

Gamemaster:Just P.O.

Gamemaster:Boxes.

Gamemaster:It's not a bank.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:It's like a mail room.

Benny:Yeah, actually, let's go there.

Benny:Because I was thinking that there's going to be nothing interesting.

Benny:But if you mailed yourself something that transmitted a signal, you would have to pick it up.

Benny:They'd be like, hey, there's this thing still in your P.O. Box.

Benny:So it's probably in the building somewhere and not in the P.O. Box.

Argyle:we don't investigate the gang they might not go undercover or they might go underground or die but before we get to killing

Gamemaster:Yes, Tanner.

Anzu:Just a clarification for when you were explaining it before, are the P.O. Box and the distribution center the same thing, or are they just nearby each other?

Gamemaster:There is a P.O.

Gamemaster:box in the distribution center that is listed as the headquarters address of Embercall.

Anzu:Okay.

Anzu:Excellent.

Benny:Anyone want to play dress up?

Anzu:Yeah.

Benny:Go in.

Johnny:That's my area of expertise.

Benny:Excuse us.

Benny:We're looking for Embercall Incorporated.

Benny:How about a recent contract dispute?

Benny:And see if anyone bites or something.

Anzu:That's not my area of expertise, but...

Argyle:What if we went in and told them they're members of the Iconoclasm and we think they might be involved in a murder?

Benny:That sounds less fun.

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Johnny:Let's go through the checkbox.

Johnny:One, stop by the P.O. Box.

Johnny:Two, try and find the gang.

Johnny:Three, Zorbon.

Benny:Mm hmm.

Argyle:If we do the gang second, it might be too late, but not there.

Johnny:You think we should do the... I think we should try and find the gang first and then... That's fair.

Argyle:Our friends in the wind.

Argyle:I'm okay not finding it, but if we do want to find the Gavish, probably get moving.

Anzu:Interesting point.

Argyle:I heard the first 48 hours are the most important to finding something.

Gamemaster:To clarify, when you say find the gang, what do you mean?

Anzu:Well, there's the round tats.

Gamemaster:Right.

Gamemaster:You just, like, find where they operate out of?

Anzu:Yes, I want to speak to them to see what happened at Tywelwyn.

Gamemaster:Or... Okay.

Gamemaster:It's starting to get relatively late at night, but if you want, you can ask around to, like, try and find information there.

Argyle:yeah let's just all right

Gamemaster:That would be a society check, if that's something you're trying to do.

Anzu:I've got pretty good society.

Benny:No better time to ask around.

Anzu:I found both.

Gamemaster:You do.

Anzu:I have extra mythic points.

Anzu:I'll use it.

Anzu:That means I get to add a bunch more numbers.

Anzu:Is it an extra six?

Anzu:Is that right?

Gamemaster:I don't know what your proficiency is.

Gamemaster:If you're going from train, then it's plus 8.

Anzu:I'm going from trained.

Anzu:I don't think we can have anything above trained.

Argyle:I'm an expert.

Anzu:Whoa.

Johnny:I got an expert.

Anzu:I'm not an expert in anything.

Argyle:But medicine, like a medic dedication.

Johnny:Performance.

Anzu:This time I received a 23 because it was mythically attempted.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Gamemaster:All right, so 23 asking around.

Gamemaster:Like, so... Okay.

Anzu:Ooh, and I want to just add something.

Anzu:I don't think this is going to change what you're going to say, but I do have the streetwise feat, which means I can use society instead of diplomacy to gather information.

Johnny:Nice.

Gamemaster:Yeah, no, you already used the society, so...

Anzu:Yeah, I know.

Anzu:I'm just saying.

Gamemaster:That's a good point, though.

Gamemaster:So the answer is asking around and trying to find out information of where the gang does its work isn't going to get you a lot of information.

Gamemaster:It's like, you know, they're in this neighborhood type deal.

Gamemaster:Nothing in particular.

Gamemaster:With the 23, that is a relatively good roll.

Gamemaster:The level DC is 16 here.

Gamemaster:I think what you'd probably get is like not their headquarters, but a place where a lot of members like tend to hang out in the evening time, um, is they, they have a bar that is not officially, but effectively a gang bar, um, that that's like deep in their territory that they do protection for.

Gamemaster:And they consider part of their organization, um, called the crowded flea.

Gamemaster:Um,

Gamemaster:that if you're looking to meet up with a member of the gang, that's probably where you're most likely to bump into one.

Benny:we the warehouse is probably closed but the bar is probably just getting popping

Argyle:Do you guys want to go or do you want to just go to the P.O. Box?

Johnny:What time of day is it right now?

Gamemaster:The suns have set like an hour or so ago.

Gamemaster:It's probably getting to like 8, 8 p.m.

Johnny:Should we head over to the bar?

Anzu:I think so.

Anzu:Oh, that's a good question.

Gamemaster:Okay, definitely can if you want.

Argyle:Is anyone injured?

Johnny:That's a great question.

Anzu:I would have to look on.

Argyle:I don't think they didn't hit me.

Johnny:They didn't.

Johnny:I believe they hit me.

Anzu:I need to look.

Gamemaster:On Foundry, no one is injured.

Anzu:All right, that's probably accurate.

Benny:That sounds right.

Anzu:I listed as injured.

Anzu:I'm not listed as injured on any platform.

Argyle:I think they only lasted two rounds.

Gamemaster:And they missed most of the time.

Argyle:Right.

Benny:I'm crowd here, by the way.

Gamemaster:Check again.

Gamemaster:Are you still crud?

Johnny:Got them.

Gamemaster:You shouldn't be.

Benny:It's in the bottom left, but maybe I gotta unselect them or something.

Gamemaster:I mean, you might be on a map that only has crud.

Benny:Oh, yeah.

Anzu:Yeah, we would need to switch over to a... Yeah, there's no reason to do it.

Gamemaster:Which I don't have a map that you could do that to, because I don't think you guys are fighting anyone today.

Benny:That's fine.

Benny:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:Of course.

Gamemaster:So...

Argyle:Skittle bark.

Gamemaster:so the bar uh the bar is in this neighborhood like the Roundhat Gang works in this neighborhood so you you don't need to take your car uh you don't have a license for it yet moving away so you couldn't go very far um but no tram or anything either just a quick walk um can i get a nature check uh from someone as you guys start walking to the bar

Anzu:I seem to recall we were relatively bad at nature.

Benny:Is it going to have greater than a plus zero?

Anzu:I have a five.

Johnny:I got a plus two.

Anzu:Oh.

Benny:That's pretty good.

Johnny:I'll give it a good old try.

Johnny:I didn't get that good.

Anzu:We got an 11, Josh.

Johnny:It was bad.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that tracks.

Gamemaster:Okay, so...

Gamemaster:With an 11, as you guys are walking, night sky perfectly clear.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Like, you can see the huge bright aurora in the sky because you are in the seat of the host's power.

Gamemaster:But there are little bits of stars of the Watcher and a very, very faint ring of the Judge here as well.

Gamemaster:It's not just the host.

Gamemaster:Either way, clear view to the sky.

Gamemaster:And then over the course of the next five minutes, this really angry-looking cloud almost rushes in and completely covers the skyline.

Gamemaster:And, like, not even 30 seconds later, it starts pouring.

Gamemaster:Like, weird weather patterns.

Gamemaster:But, I don't know.

Gamemaster:Weird weather patterns.

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, none of you rolled high enough to understand why weird weather patterns just...

Gamemaster:It's pouring now.

Anzu:Must be The Zorbon.

Gamemaster:Must be the Zorbon.

Johnny:It was a pretty weird weather pattern.

Gamemaster:The Zorbon could cause this.

Gamemaster:You'd have to ask Whiskers, though.

Gamemaster:Either way, you finish up the rest of this 20-minute walk.

Gamemaster:until you get to a worse part of the neighborhood.

Gamemaster:This area is more run-down.

Gamemaster:You are getting closer to the river that runs through the interior of Calaria, and so it switches from less residential stuff...

Gamemaster:and more like warehouses and dockyards and the like that make their living on the river itself and up and downstream it.

Gamemaster:And it's not, there isn't a local government to kind of manage the area, which is kind of why the gang arose in the first place.

Gamemaster:They are a stand-in for what would otherwise be managing the area.

Gamemaster:And they just don't see the need to spend money on revitalizing the space in the way that a local government might.

Gamemaster:So, not a great place to live.

Gamemaster:Ramshackle houses, dark roads, but you guys have kind of started to get your bearing of this area since moving here, effectively, for the time being.

Benny:you

Argyle:you

Gamemaster:And you can figure out where the tavern is, because as you start to get closer, you hear the sounds of boisterous yelling and what sounds like live music coming from

Gamemaster:an even more ramshackle-looking building built right on the water, like a pier moves out to it.

Gamemaster:And then you can see there is a very crude-looking drawing of a cluster of fleas hanging from a sign that you would take to be the crowded flea.

Gamemaster:There's no line out front or anything like that, but there is a particularly gruff-looking humanoid.

Gamemaster:A man of some kind, but very, very hairy-looking.

Gamemaster:Like, a ton of facial hair.

Gamemaster:Despite the downpour, he's wearing just like a wife-beater.

Gamemaster:He's got massive arms that you think are tattooed, but you can't tell because every inch of him is covered in body hair.

Gamemaster:um that is standing out front and it looks like he's serving as a kind of bouncer to get into the tavern um he does see you guys making your approach as you walk through the rain towards the tavern itself oh sorry and he's wearing a round hat i that that's an important part of the description i'm sorry

Anzu:Excellent.

Anzu:Johnny, tell them we're looking to socialize or something like that.

Argyle:Don't use this obviously.

Johnny:I'll take my hair, put it back in a ponytail.

Gamemaster:well actually i do have a question despite the fact that it was completely completely clear out earlier in the day would any of you have brought an umbrella anyway like knowing for your characters i feel like the answer is no but i want to double check okay

Johnny:It's just soaking wet.

Johnny:Take the sunglasses off because it is dark here.

Benny:But not now.

Argyle:Good question.

Argyle:My suit's enchanted as heavy plate.

Argyle:How does that interact?

Argyle:Does the fabric, when you touch it, does it feel like metal?

Argyle:Can it get wet and soaked?

Argyle:How does that happen?

Gamemaster:Do you know like oobleck?

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Like it's soft and then if you hit it, it firms up for the impact and then it softens again.

Gamemaster:That's kind of what it's like on your body.

Gamemaster:It feels like fabric, but if an impact of sufficient force hits it, it'll firm up for the moment of impact before getting soft again.

Gamemaster:It can definitely still get wet.

Gamemaster:It is clothes.

Gamemaster:It doesn't have the coating that you put on shoes to make them hydrophobic.

Gamemaster:It's just clothes.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:Johnny, do you want to tell them that you're a famous guy and I'm your bodyguard?

Argyle:He's your son and that's your account.

Johnny:I'll just look at this guy.

Johnny:Hey, friend, we're trying to get drunk and it's raining outside.

Johnny:Is this... I'm going to use a mythic point.

Gamemaster:Roll a diplomacy check.

Benny:I'm not.

Anzu:Well.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:What is that?

Johnny:That's plus another eight.

Gamemaster:If you're trained, it's plus eight.

Johnny:Oh, I'm...

Johnny:Josh, is this making an impression?

Gamemaster:Yeah, I'd allow this to count as making an impression.

Gamemaster:Why?

Gamemaster:Do you have a performance that you can use here instead?

Gamemaster:Okay, fine.

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Do that.

Gamemaster:I'm still listening.

Gamemaster:I'll be back in a second.

Johnny:Instead of plus an extra 6, plus 6 would be plus 16.

Gamemaster:What'd you get?

Anzu:Well.

Johnny:Wow, terrible roll, much better.

Johnny:21.

Gamemaster:What is better than a critical failure?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:So, you...

Gamemaster:You walk up, out of the rain.

Gamemaster:This guy has been eyeing you guys as you approach.

Gamemaster:Very seemingly, like, on its face, honest of, hey, we're just trying to get in.

Gamemaster:You guys are a tavern.

Gamemaster:He gives you a look over.

Gamemaster:He's not on guard, but he doesn't immediately open up to let you in.

Gamemaster:And he says, I haven't seen you.

Gamemaster:I haven't seen any of you around here before.

Johnny:Yeah, we're sort of all over new in town and we were kind of walking by and now we're here.

Johnny:Guy, listen, I will yell.

Johnny:This is a custom made jacket and I'll pull out two silver pieces and hand them out.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Very smooth.

Gamemaster:If you give him two silver, he'll be like, Alright.

Gamemaster:Get in.

Gamemaster:I'm gonna move out of the way and let you guys walk further into the tavern itself.

Gamemaster:Oh, shoot.

Johnny:I'll pause on the way in.

Johnny:Johnny, pleasure to meet you.

Johnny:I'll hold out a hand.

Gamemaster:What's this guy's name?

Gamemaster:Hold on a second.

Gamemaster:I don't have his name.

Gamemaster:Um...

Gamemaster:That's my name, too.

Gamemaster:Weird coincidence.

Argyle:Mm-hmm.

Johnny:Great to meet you, Johnny.

Gamemaster:Don't soak all of the boots.

Gamemaster:Dry yourself off first.

Johnny:You got it.

Johnny:Oh gosh.

Gamemaster:I'll let you guys in.

Gamemaster:Hold on a second.

Gamemaster:Most of you have https://btl.iridi.cc open, so those of you who don't, just do that.

Gamemaster:That's... That's fine.

Gamemaster:We'll leave it like this for now.

Johnny:It's still loading for me.

Johnny:Oh, gosh.

Argyle:you

Johnny:Oh, whoa.

Benny:Is up and to the right the entrance or?

Gamemaster:So...

Gamemaster:This is the door from the outside in that you just walked through.

Gamemaster:The walls aren't quite right on this.

Gamemaster:I don't think there's anything to be gained now that I'm looking at this for making it like this.

Gamemaster:So I'm just going to delete all of these walls.

Gamemaster:Give me a second.

Gamemaster:Let's just show the whole thing.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:Let's do that instead.

Gamemaster:Imagine...

Gamemaster:A ton of people in here.

Gamemaster:I didn't put all of the tokens in.

Gamemaster:Just pretend there are a bunch of people spread throughout the bar.

Argyle:Thank you.

Anzu:Alright.

Gamemaster:As you guys come in behind the bar, this whole place is like, it looks like it was nautical themed 50 years ago, and then they just never did anything to update it.

Gamemaster:Didn't replace any of the props, didn't change the upholstery.

Gamemaster:So it's just, now it's old nautical themed.

Gamemaster:But you walk in and they have an array of liquors behind the bar.

Gamemaster:There are a number of people sat at booths and the like.

Gamemaster:There's a little sign hanging over the front that says, seat yourself or shut up.

Gamemaster:But, you know, if not a particularly welcoming place, it does seem a place that you could grab a drink or two.

Argyle:I was just asking.

Johnny:All right, should we grab a seat?

Gamemaster:So are you, like, what is the plan here?

Anzu:Well, I assume that Oh, that could be fun.

Gamemaster:What are you guys doing now that you're in the tavern?

Benny:Can we get this booth?

Benny:And then you guys go to the bar, get drinks, talk to people at the bar, come back if you have info.

Anzu:Are there people wearing Roundhats?

Gamemaster:Roll a perception check to see if there's anybody who's immediately obviously part of the round attacking.

Anzu:That shouldn't be me.

Argyle:oh he was

Johnny:I'm going to roll perception check.

Johnny:One moment.

Johnny:I see everyone.

Gamemaster:What did we get?

Benny:Oh, wow.

Gamemaster:A 14?

Gamemaster:What did you get that you saw everyone?

Gamemaster:I missed that one.

Johnny:Oh, sorry.

Anzu:Oh, he rolled...

Johnny:I rolled a crit 28.

Johnny:I rolled infoundry.

Gamemaster:Oh.

Gamemaster:Ah, that would explain it.

Gamemaster:Hold on a second.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Crit 28, looking around.

Gamemaster:So, everybody here is clearly of a certain working class.

Gamemaster:Stock workers, like...

Gamemaster:truck drivers of that nature, people who either work on the river or taking things off of the river.

Gamemaster:So everybody here looks in some amount of physical shape.

Gamemaster:This is a worker's bar, effectively.

Gamemaster:But with a 28 crit, there is an area kind of tucked away in a corner.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:This one over here.

Gamemaster:that top right area, that has...

Gamemaster:You know, nobody's wearing Roundhats.

Gamemaster:The guy at the front, the bouncer, is wearing the hat as a way of saying, hey, this tavern is under our protection.

Gamemaster:But once people make it into the tavern, there's no real need to do that, necessarily.

Gamemaster:But there is just something about the vibe of the people that are in this back corner, the way that they're kind of huddled amongst themselves and wearing clothing that looks like it might have been sourced

Argyle:you you

Gamemaster:around the same time from around the same place not you know not picnic blankets or anything but like of not quite a uniform but with some kind of consistency there um

Gamemaster:that strikes you as they know each other.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:And then they also all have weapons that you wouldn't expect the average dock worker to be holding onto that strikes you as these people make their money in some kind of violent trade.

Argyle:you you

Gamemaster:And given that they're the only ones in the bar that have that, if there is anyone in this bar that is a member of the gang, they strike you as that.

Gamemaster:It looks like it's...

Gamemaster:Five of them, currently.

Gamemaster:All, like, four of them kind of sitting around one of them that looks like they're holding court.

Gamemaster:This, like, much taller humanoid, but not human.

Gamemaster:You would guess, like, half-Giant or something of that nature.

Gamemaster:Slightly bluish skin.

Gamemaster:Who looks like he's the most important person in the group.

Argyle:I looked at John and I said, did something.

Johnny:Okay, well, I don't think we're fighting anyone yet.

Anzu:Oh.

Johnny:I think we're just talking.

Johnny:Well, friends, I think it's time we buy some drinks.

Johnny:And I'll make my way over to the bar.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Johnny:And I'll say, excuse me, friend.

Argyle:We are so.

Johnny:Just the bartender.

Gamemaster:Yep.

Gamemaster:The bartender looks over at you.

Gamemaster:You are one of, like, four people that have come up to the bar and are looking to get drinks, so they take a second to, like, acknowledge that they've seen you, finish serving other people, and then move over.

Gamemaster:This is a dwarven man, and you can see, leaning over the bar, he's got this, like, bench that is pressed up against the bar so that when he stands on it from behind the bar, he can be eye-level with people sitting at the, um...

Gamemaster:at the stools at the front, he'll look over at you and say, what can I get you?

Argyle:Hi.

Johnny:Do you have anything Raylish?

Gamemaster:Yeah, I think we've got a few things in stock.

Gamemaster:It might be a little pricey, because obviously we're not getting any more looking around.

Gamemaster:We got wine, and I think I got a spirit or two.

Gamemaster:What are you looking for?

Johnny:Give me two shots of whatever the best Raylish liquor you have is.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:And he hops down off the stool, walks back to the bar, pulls one of those bookshelf ladders down so that he can make his way up to the top shelf of the Rose of Liquors.

Gamemaster:And you can see he pulls off a brand you're familiar with, a kind of Raylish gin.

Gamemaster:And then he will walk back down the ladder, hop back up on the bench, and then pour you two shots and say, that'll be eight silver for the two of them.

Johnny:I'll hand over nine silver and say, the extra's for you, my friend.

Argyle:you you

Johnny:Of course I am.

Gamemaster:Thanks, pal.

Gamemaster:You Raylish?

Johnny:You know, walking ghost and everything.

Gamemaster:You don't seem like you're handling it pretty well.

Gamemaster:He looks back at the three people he walked in with.

Gamemaster:Better enough company.

Johnny:Oh.

Johnny:They're sort of new friends I picked up.

Johnny:They're from all over, but, you know.

Johnny:You from around here?

Gamemaster:Yep.

Gamemaster:Born and raised.

Gamemaster:And you're close to 60 years now.

Johnny:What's your name, friend?

Gamemaster:Name is Shannon.

Gamemaster:Shannon Soul.

Johnny:I will pull out another four silver and put it down and say, that's for you, friend.

Johnny:Drink to the memory of Raelion.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:Into rebuilding it in the future?

Gamemaster:I'm not sure what you folks are doing, but I'm for it.

Argyle:Like he's James Bond.

Johnny:I'll raise the sunglasses up, give him a wink, put them back down.

Johnny:Good to meet you, Shannon.

Gamemaster:Good to meet you as well.

Gamemaster:Did I catch your name?

Johnny:Johnny Skyfall.

Gamemaster:I'll remember that.

Johnny:Wait, what'd you say?

Johnny:I'm walking around.

Argyle:You're not doing any.

Argyle:Oh, don't worry about me.

Argyle:I'm a ghost.

Argyle:You're like John Skyfall.

Johnny:I'm telling everybody.

Johnny:And then I'll take mine.

Johnny:I'll take my two shots and I'll look at my friends and I'll say, see you on the other side.

Johnny:And I will walk right by them into this back room.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:So...

Argyle:I'll follow.

Gamemaster:You walk into the back room area and it is obvious from the lack of other people other than this group that like one doesn't just generally go back here and like sit at a table.

Gamemaster:So you immediately attract attention from the people who were talking about something.

Gamemaster:They see you enter and five sets of eyes all turn to look at you.

Gamemaster:And I think just give you a second to realize your mistake.

Gamemaster:and let you walk out of here without them making it an issue.

Johnny:In that moment of silence, I'll take my two shots and I'll walk up to this big guy.

Johnny:I'll put one down and say, where I come from, you should always go into someone else's house with a drink.

Johnny:This is the closest I can get from my home.

Johnny:It's Raylish Liquor.

Argyle:Thank you.

Johnny:Cheers.

Gamemaster:You're making an impression.

Gamemaster:Roll a performance check.

Johnny:28.

Gamemaster:28?

Gamemaster:Not bad.

Gamemaster:Okay, so the half-Giant looks at you.

Gamemaster:You've just marched up.

Johnny:Thank you.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:You offer out the shot glass.

Gamemaster:The other four lackeys, for lack of a better term, look at you and then look back at the half-Giant as a kind of waiting for a, are we beating this guy up?

Argyle:you

Gamemaster:Is something else happening?

Gamemaster:He looks at you.

Gamemaster:He smirks.

Gamemaster:He grabs it, and the shot glass looks tiny in his hands.

Gamemaster:And he takes it like a thimble swing and says, Gin was never really my taste, but I've had worse openings.

Gamemaster:What do you want?

Argyle:Thank you.

Johnny:I want to get out of your hair as fast as I can, friend.

Johnny:Me and my friends have been caught up in a bit of business which involves a certain... What was his name?

Johnny:There's like 50... What's the full name?

Anzu:Well win.

Gamemaster:Tywelwyn?

Gamemaster:Tywelwyn Leatherhide.

Gamemaster:Listen.

Johnny:We've been caught up in our own bit of business which involves one 12-win leatherhide.

Johnny:We heard he was hearing things.

Johnny:I came to ask what those were, get some information, and then we never have to see each other again.

Gamemaster:I gave you the benefit of the doubt because you came in with an offering.

Gamemaster:But surely you know who this Tywelwyn is, right?

Argyle:thank you

Gamemaster:You could walk in in here.

Gamemaster:You start asking about his whereabouts.

Gamemaster:And you think that'll just go over fine.

Johnny:I'll raise the sunglasses up and say, I mean, I am a ghost.

Johnny:I could just walk through walls.

Johnny:But one ghost to another, I know how to be polite.

Gamemaster:I think that's an intimidation check.

Gamemaster:Because that was a threat.

Argyle:What?

Johnny:I was just trying to say that... I was not trying to intimidate him.

Johnny:I was saying, like, as a ghost of Raelion, I know what it's like to be a ghost.

Gamemaster:Okay, just like stepping back a little bit, just to make sure we're on the same page here.

Gamemaster:You are asking this guy where his boss is right now.

Johnny:Yeah.

Johnny:I was not trying... I mean, if it's intimidation, it's the only thing that'll work.

Johnny:I'll intimidate the guy.

Gamemaster:Not even like intimidation.

Gamemaster:I guess I'm like as a DM trying to figure out like what is the expected route you're trying to carve through this conversation?

Argyle:you you

Gamemaster:Because this is a hostile environment that you've entered and a hostile line of questioning, if that makes sense.

Johnny:I guess I'm trying to go that I am doing something else of my own.

Johnny:sort of important business goes to Rayleigh on business, whatever have you, uh, I need to meet this guy and I want to meet this.

Johnny:I'm trying to meet this half Giant on equal footing.

Johnny:Like I am also not someone to be messed with.

Johnny:I also have things going on, but also I'm not here to mess up any, anything you're doing.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Okay, so, like, is the tack you're taking is that this is somehow Ghost's business?

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:Is, like, why you're trying to meet him?

Johnny:Trying to imply.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Yeah, because I think what this guy would be trying to sound out hearing that you mentioned that you're part of the ghosts is he's trying to figure out if you're trying to meet his boss because you want to have a chat with him or you're trying to meet the boss because for whatever reason you want to kill him.

Johnny:Have a chat with him.

Johnny:That's why I'm trying to meet the guy.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Roll another performance check, I think.

Gamemaster:Another, like, we're digging into the impression thing.

Johnny:I'm going to use a mythic point.

Johnny:It's my last mythic point.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:We're back, baby.

Gamemaster:That's stupid.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:He looks at you and says, now, if you were able to

Gamemaster:bump into this 12-wit, as you called him, what, uh, what reason would he have for, uh, hearing you out?

Argyle:is you

Johnny:Well, if I were to bump into this man, whoever he may be, I would let him know that we may have mutual enmities that can be cleared up if he's willing to chat.

Johnny:But, you know, if he doesn't exist and we can't chat, I share a drink with what I like to think is a new friend.

Gamemaster:What's your name?

Johnny:Johnny Skyfall.

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Well, Johnny Skyfall.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:If... If he thought it would be interesting to meet someone like you, you might find him tomorrow evening on Pier 54.

Gamemaster:Say, 6 p.m.

Gamemaster:Right before sunrise.

Gamemaster:Sunset.

Johnny:Well, I'll have to be by, and hopefully he'll find someone like me interesting.

Johnny:And I'll nod my head and walk away.

Gamemaster:Alright.

Johnny:Though I'll go back, my friends.

Argyle:I was still not.

Johnny:All right, I did it.

Benny:We got free drinks.

Benny:Hell yeah.

Anzu:No, Benny.

Johnny:Benny, you want a Shirley Temple?

Gamemaster:As part of walking away in the general interaction, Johnny, can you make either a nature or an occultism check for me, please?

Johnny:Ooh, uh, I will do Occultism.

Johnny:It's slightly better.

Johnny:Ten.

Gamemaster:Okay?

Gamemaster:Sorry, continue.

Argyle:I was in the room when Johnny went in.

Johnny:I'll walk back now.

Argyle:And then I was there.

Johnny:I'll turn around.

Johnny:I'll turn around, and as I see Argyle... As I see Argyle, I'll...

Argyle:I'm not saying that to make a rule.

Argyle:Just saying.

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Gamemaster:Jorge cut out for me.

Gamemaster:I didn't hear what you just said.

Argyle:Oh, I went in the room when Johnny went in.

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Argyle:I'll leave a little bit of this as well.

Gamemaster:Okay, sure.

Gamemaster:So you were his muscle intimidating in the corner in case something bad happened.

Argyle:Yes.

Gamemaster:I'll let you make an occultism roll if you like as well.

Argyle:Oh.

Argyle:Is it only occultism options, or anything else?

Gamemaster:What was the other option I gave?

Gamemaster:Nature, I think.

Johnny:nature yeah as i turn around and see him i'll like link my arm through his and kind of like walk out find the other two guys all right we did it you guys want to stick around and drink or what's up

Gamemaster:Yeah, I'd allow nature or occultism.

Argyle:Eh.

Argyle:I don't need a makeover.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Argyle:I was just stating I was there.

Argyle:I really want to take the big cat.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Benny:What did we get?

Benny:They gave us money?

Benny:What happened?

Johnny:Oh, I gave everyone drinks, made some new friends, and now I'm meeting a man who doesn't exist tomorrow on Pier 54 at 6 p.m.

Gamemaster:So the impression that you got is they're going to pass along the information to Tywelwyn, and if he thinks that this is interesting enough to meet up to, he will be there on the period.

Argyle:Matt.

Benny:Just you?

Anzu:So it seems like he's still active with them.

Anzu:He hasn't been fully driven mad.

Anzu:Or maybe he has and they just didn't tell us.

Argyle:Churches.

Benny:There would have been issues for them.

Johnny:I guess we'll maybe find out.

Johnny:Let me tell you something, guys.

Johnny:That gambit only goes one of two ways.

Johnny:They either really like you, or you get stabbed by everyone in the room.

Anzu:Well, good thing you're a bro.

Johnny:Uh, yeah, I've been... It's gone the other way before.

Johnny:It really sucks.

Johnny:Let's get drunk.

Argyle:So have you been working with the ghosts since the incident, or did you do something new?

Johnny:Oh, no.

Johnny:Let's see here.

Johnny:Raelion, it was 40 years ago?

Johnny:No, I think only for about, like, maybe a little over 30 years, probably.

Argyle:Have you been working on them 30 years straight, or did you take any breaks?

Johnny:I mean, like, I get vacation every now and then.

Johnny:It's not, you know, not like constantly doing stuff with them.

Argyle:no offense i'm just surprised that's kind of cool and just why are you hanging out with us like if you've been doing this for 30 years you know oh what was that a trick

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Johnny:Maybe I think you're pretty cool.

Johnny:Yeah, you know, but you do the same thing for 30 years.

Johnny:You get really good at one specific thing and then all of a sudden your one trick goes away and you're like, oh, now I'm back to level one pretty much.

Johnny:You know how it is.

Johnny:Getting stabbed and not being dead.

Johnny:Yeah.

Argyle:Oh.

Benny:Pretty good trick.

Argyle:I looked at him.

Johnny:I told you, sometimes it goes the other way where everyone in the room stabs you and it sucks.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Is that like a new body?

Johnny:No, same body.

Argyle:Oh.

Johnny:That's the trick of it.

Argyle:Pretty cool.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:Just a good doctor?

Johnny:I mean, yeah, I guess I knew a couple good doctors.

Argyle:Did he teach?

Argyle:Or is it more of like a big game upstairs?

Johnny:Yeah, it was more like a big guy upstairs sort of thing.

Argyle:That's a shame.

Argyle:I'd love to practice or do a fellowship or maybe a residency under a person that could do that to you.

Argyle:That makes sense.

Johnny:I mean, the guard.

Johnny:So, you know.

Argyle:Yeah, I already got one of those.

Johnny:Oh, yeah.

Johnny:Well, the rest of us have the same guard.

Johnny:So, you know, you kind of feel like you're, you know, four for four.

Argyle:But does your God let you do this?

Argyle:This one's a frankincense one.

Gamemaster:Not a thing that can smoke still.

Johnny:Still terrible.

Anzu:Well I think it's time to go home.

Argyle:You got to study for your test tomorrow.

Johnny:All right.

Johnny:Oh yeah.

Benny:The bed.

Argyle:The car.

Gamemaster:I don't know that works.

Gamemaster:I think my problem was calling it a license instead of like an easy pass.

Argyle:That was the.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you guys can hang out at the bar as long as you feel comfortable and then head on home to a different bar.

Anzu:One thing I do in my room before going to bed is make four tinfoil hats.

Argyle:anyone jump us right

Gamemaster:No one jumps you?

Gamemaster:It is still pouring, though.

Gamemaster:Excuse me.

Johnny:Crazy weather.

Gamemaster:You make it home.

Gamemaster:You are able to get a rest in relative peace.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Gamemaster:Absolutely, you can make fortune with oil hats.

Gamemaster:Excuse me.

Anzu:Nice.

Gamemaster:Yeah, no, I don't think

Gamemaster:If you want, you can make a crafting check, but I don't think there's a lot of actual craftsmanship that goes into making a tinfoil hat.

Argyle:On the way back, I tried grappling, hooking onto a building, getting at it.

Anzu:I feel like my training in crafting is enough to just get four hat shapes out of the tinfoil.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's fine.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Gamemaster:You can get general hat chips.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:You grapple onto the side of a building.

Gamemaster:The grapple hook lands.

Gamemaster:I don't know if you have a way of getting it down, short of climbing up there and physically removing the hook.

Gamemaster:Because the whole point of the hook... No, no, no, no, no.

Johnny:Thanks.

Argyle:Oh, I thought it pulled me up.

Gamemaster:This is just a gun.

Gamemaster:So you shoot it, and then the hook lands, and it makes a hundred feet of rope that you can climb up.

Argyle:Oh, never mind.

Argyle:I wouldn't have done that yet.

Gamemaster:And then once you've released the hook, you can spend a minute winding the hook back up into the gun.

Argyle:Never mind.

Anzu:Thank you.

Argyle:I wouldn't have done that.

Argyle:I thought this was like a Batman situation and I was going to turn into a vigilante.

Gamemaster:No, so there is a higher level variant of the grappling hook that you wear on your wrist and will launch you and pull you forward.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:Yeah, yeah, I thought we both did that.

Gamemaster:But your level zero cheap grappling hook is like manual wind-up action.

Argyle:Yeah, yeah.

Gamemaster:It's, you know.

Gamemaster:But it does have 100 feet of rope on it, and you can shoot it like a gun.

Gamemaster:So it is better than just the hook itself.

Johnny:Josh, when we get back to the sin and tonic, I'll go to my room, pull up a little black chess pawn, and I will relay everything that has happened today, including the possible meeting tomorrow, to Red.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Red speaks in all caps, if that makes sense.

Gamemaster:He's not yelling, but it's very forceful.

Gamemaster:But you've got some experience reading his emotions.

Argyle:And.

Gamemaster:And if anything, there's...

Gamemaster:Red has kind of picked up a little bit of worry since what happened.

Gamemaster:And so there's this whole kind of like, be careful, all that kind of stuff.

Gamemaster:But there's still very much a, I need you to figure out more information here because we're still kind of operating blind.

Gamemaster:And it would be awesome if you could figure something out.

Gamemaster:So there's like a mix of, I hope you find what you're looking for here.

Johnny:I'll say back, oh, that's so sweet.

Gamemaster:He immediately hangs up.

Gamemaster:But you have relayed information back to Red.

Argyle:And.

Gamemaster:And you guys get a rest, unless there's anybody else that'd like to do stuff.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:You get a rest in, and you're all already fully healed, I believe.

Gamemaster:So it's just a nap.

Gamemaster:But you wake up the next day prepared.

Johnny:Let's get some breakfast.

Gamemaster:for whatever might happen.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:it will be able to make it back from the distribution center by six

Gamemaster:What's the plan today?

Anzu:breakfast, and then distribution center?

Gamemaster:Okay, you guys can head out.

Benny:Do we want to... The depot before?

Benny:Yeah.

Benny:Probably.

Benny:It's early.

Johnny:We got a car.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you could drive there now.

Gamemaster:That is also a chore you can do on the way over is picking up a slide and the license with which to use it in the city.

Argyle:License, yeah.

Gamemaster:You know what I mean when I say license.

Gamemaster:It's called a license.

Gamemaster:It's like how in Britain you need a license to watch TV.

Gamemaster:You don't have to take a test to get the license.

Gamemaster:You just pay money and then you have the license.

Gamemaster:It's not a crazy way to use that word.

Johnny:Listen, Benny, the first thing you have to do the second you get in the car, put on your seatbelt before you do anything else.

Argyle:These cars have asterisks.

Benny:Benny will get in.

Benny:He'll put his seatbelt on.

Benny:And then he can't reach.

Gamemaster:No seatbelts.

Benny:Okay.

Benny:He'll mimic it.

Benny:And then he'll mimic not being able to reach the door.

Benny:I think the order was a little messed up here.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Yeah, no, I don't, like... There's no way they're forcing car manufacturers to spend the money on putting in something as...

Gamemaster:personal right infringing as a seatbelt.

Gamemaster:So, no seatbelts in these cars.

Gamemaster:The way that you make a car safe is you make it big, you make the body out of a metal that is harder than the other cars on the road, so that if you hit them, they're the ones that break.

Argyle:you you

Gamemaster:That's all you need for safety.

Johnny:So there's no crumple points on any of these cars.

Gamemaster:No, absolutely not.

Gamemaster:They're like solid metal frames.

Gamemaster:They're not doing crumple zones.

Gamemaster:The idea is that when you collide with a building, you come out the other side and the building falls down, but the car is fine.

Johnny:No one's ever survived a car crash on one of these things.

Gamemaster:No, absolutely not.

Gamemaster:People go flying all the time.

Gamemaster:But it's fine.

Gamemaster:It's great.

Argyle:I guess it's okay when there's like the important people are usually pretty strong so they can kind of just take it.

Gamemaster:Yeah, exactly.

Gamemaster:Like, if you're level three and above and you get launched out of a car, you're just kind of getting up and then getting back in.

Gamemaster:And because the car is built so strong, it's fine.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:You just keep going.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:No windshield.

Johnny:Hey, man, what happened to your windshield?

Johnny:Oh, I went through it.

Gamemaster:You don't need it.

Argyle:Have you guys seen the newest Naked Gun?

Gamemaster:It's fine.

Gamemaster:No, I've been meaning to.

Johnny:No, not yet.

Gamemaster:I just haven't gotten around to it yet.

Argyle:It's fun.

Anzu:Yeah, do you think we should?

Benny:yes i i very much feel like it is two hours of my humor chuck another two in it's it's i i want to tell the good jokes but they're so good that they would i don't want to spoil them

Argyle:It is fun.

Argyle:It... Yeah, it really is just a lot of my cue.

Gamemaster:So, is that something I want?

Johnny:I mean, we do about three hours of Mike's humor every week, so.

Gamemaster:Exactly.

Argyle:Yeah, same.

Anzu:I am thinking of seeing it, so yeah, let's leave it.

Argyle:All right.

Argyle:It's also on my Plex if anyone wants access.

Argyle:That's not Josh.

Johnny:That'd be interesting.

Gamemaster:I actually have it on Myplex as well.

Gamemaster:I've just never bothered to actually go and watch it.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:All you got to do is make a Plex account and then tell me your email.

Johnny:Okay, that'll do this.

Argyle:All right.

Argyle:I got a nice little Discord I just made, too.

Argyle:Anyway, let's drive around.

Anzu:To the Gryphonline Distribution Center.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Johnny:Good to know.

Gamemaster:First thing you notice, it is still pouring.

Gamemaster:It's been hours since you went to sleep.

Gamemaster:It's been hours since it started raining, and it is still pouring.

Anzu:Ginny... So much rain.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Anzu:I didn't really see this my first day or two in the city.

Argyle:you you

Gamemaster:Oh, I mean, I haven't seen it yet either.

Johnny:Thank you.

Anzu:Yeah, but what do you hear about the rain?

Gamemaster:Sounds like it's raining.

Anzu:Okay.

Anzu:Do you have umbrellas?

Gamemaster:Oh, wait, did you want to know if it was, like, supernatural?

Gamemaster:Is that why you were asking me?

Gamemaster:Is it just if it rains a lot here?

Anzu:It's just really, yeah, it's a big storm.

Gamemaster:Oh.

Anzu:Like, you know, what's going on?

Gamemaster:No, I don't.

Gamemaster:I probably should have been listening to the radio.

Gamemaster:I just kind of wait.

Gamemaster:Sometimes people come in and they say, oh, it's raining.

Gamemaster:I'm like, oh, okay.

Gamemaster:I don't know.

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:It rains a lot around here, although not for very long, usually.

Gamemaster:You get, like, bursts of rain.

Anzu:Hmm.

Gamemaster:But I do have umbrellas.

Anzu:Interesting.

Anzu:Yeah, you don't mind if we borrow?

Gamemaster:We've got this lost and found where, yeah, they're not mine.

Gamemaster:and he reaches down below the barn he takes out like a cardboard box that has lost and found written on the side of it and you can rifle through it and there are a number of umbrellas in there as well as jackets and a lone shoe and multiple sets of car keys and coasters to other bars that you're pretty sure should have just been thrown out but Ginny thought they might come back for it so they went into the lost and found um

Benny:Even better.

Gamemaster:But there's umbrellas for all four of you, if you like.

Johnny:Yes.

Anzu:Excellent.

Gamemaster:All righty.

Gamemaster:So you equipped...

Gamemaster:With your umbrellas, you can take the car out if you like, or you can walk.

Gamemaster:It is a bit of a walk to get there.

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:It's still technically within your general area of the city, but it's probably better to take a car for a long distance there.

Gamemaster:But you can get there.

Gamemaster:If you're driving, then I'd just like to know who's piloting.

Gamemaster:Piloting.

Gamemaster:Driving.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:I'd like a, I guess we'll call it a reflex save.

Gamemaster:To let the nine-year-old drive the car.

Gamemaster:How tall is he?

Johnny:Wow.

Anzu:He has a permission slip, so... You're telling me gnomes can't drive cars, Josh?

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:Um... I have it, don't worry.

Anzu:I mean, people haven't thought of a solution for this?

Gamemaster:Um, you know, that is a fair point.

Benny:Yeah.

Argyle:i i

Gamemaster:But I don't know off the top of my head what the gnome response to that would be.

Benny:He's... He's...

Gamemaster:Is it stilts?

Johnny:Lower windshields.

Gamemaster:Do the gnomes wear stilts?

Gamemaster:The cars are just really low to the ground?

Gamemaster:Where's the engine go?

Benny:Benny's four and a half feet tall.

Benny:He is still considered a medium creature, by the way.

Gamemaster:No, I get it.

Gamemaster:I'm just imagining a nine-year-old that's four and a half feet tall, I guess with the seat scrunched really up close to the wheel so that his legs can reach the pedals as well as, you know.

Benny:Oh, yeah.

Benny:He's probably on a book.

Benny:He's probably on a book, and then there's rocks on the pedals so that he doesn't have to have his feet down there.

Gamemaster:Okay, sure.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Argyle:I think part of the problem with having a more modern setting is a lot of the stuff aligned with the things that happen in real life.

Argyle:So when Tanner said, well, gnomes can drive, Josh, I was thinking he was calling small people real life gnomes.

Gamemaster:Little people gnomes?

Argyle:And I was just like, that's fucking crazy.

Benny:Tanner's like... Tanner's...

Argyle:I was like, I didn't expect Tanner to just pull that one out.

Argyle:And then you reacted so quickly.

Argyle:You're like, yeah, but I don't know what they do.

Argyle:And I was just like, guys, we can figure this out.

Argyle:Like, we can Google this.

Argyle:Like, I'm sure there's... Yeah, yeah.

Gamemaster:The answer is apparently a little person uses a booster seat and something called a pedal extender, which moves the pedal up.

Argyle:But I thought Tanner just went like, just, he was just like, fuck that.

Gamemaster:Yeah, they're called gnomes now.

Gamemaster:You didn't know?

Gamemaster:Atrocious.

Benny:Tanner's like, I've been cooking up new slurs, guys.

Benny:I'm going to try a couple out this session.

Argyle:I was like, he's been hanging out in Europe too long.

Argyle:They're kind of neat over there.

Johnny:Oh, no.

Anzu:No, the people of Italy are kind.

Benny:That's what my grandma calls them, gnomes.

Benny:I grew up calling them gnomes.

Benny:It's not offensive.

Gamemaster:I hate it so much.

Benny:And then you fully think that he actually isn't bigoted in any way.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:And he goes, you have to admit they're kind of whimsical.

Benny:And you're like, dude, no, no.

Benny:Oh, sorry.

Johnny:No.

Gamemaster:So you walk out in the car.

Benny:Reflex.

Gamemaster:Reflex save.

Gamemaster:Nine-year-old sitting on a book.

Gamemaster:You've got sticks that Anaïs threw together to be pedal extenders for you.

Gamemaster:27.

Gamemaster:This nine-year-old is so good at driving.

Benny:He's like 10 and 2.

Argyle:What?

Benny:He's like making comments like, I missed his blinker.

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Yeah, sure.

Gamemaster:Excellent at driving.

Gamemaster:Better at driving than other people.

Gamemaster:Like textbook driving.

Gamemaster:Like, he read the textbook on how to drive and is just doing what he read out of the textbook.

Argyle:It's not like a nine-year-old.

Argyle:It's like a fully grown man.

Gamemaster:Yeah, it doesn't look like a nine-year-old.

Benny:He's...

Gamemaster:It's being driven by a fully grown man.

Gamemaster:I think the only part of it that really calls out to you is that as you guys are getting in the car and as he gets in, the whole car tilts a little to the front left when he sits down in the seat.

Gamemaster:But it's fine.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Gamemaster:Yes, Johnny.

Johnny:As we're driving, is the rain acting like rain?

Johnny:Like, is it... Piling up is not the right word.

Johnny:But is it, like, flooding in the streets?

Johnny:Or is it just, like, immediately evaporating?

Johnny:Or... Oh.

Gamemaster:No, no, no, no.

Gamemaster:It's rain, rain.

Gamemaster:It's like going into sewer drains that line the curb, but it's not like hitting the ground and then immediately vaporizing or anything like that.

Gamemaster:It's rain.

Gamemaster:Water from somewhere.

Argyle:Is there a radio on the car?

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:It's got both AM and FM.

Argyle:The weather slash traffic.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:You turn it to... They work off of regular radio frequencies, I suppose.

Gamemaster:92.8, which is just like a general... 1010 wins.

Gamemaster:That's what we're going with.

Benny:Okay.

Gamemaster:And you get your loop.

Gamemaster:There's a bunch of traffic.

Gamemaster:People have kind of slowed down because everybody drives like idiots in the rain.

Gamemaster:Doesn't matter what setting you're in.

Gamemaster:If there's a car and there's rain, people are bad at it.

Gamemaster:You... What?

Argyle:Unless they're a boy man.

Gamemaster:What?

Argyle:Unless they're a nine-year-old boy man.

Gamemaster:Unless they're a nine-year-old, at which point doesn't faze them at all.

Gamemaster:Like, I think, if anything, you guys would be a little scared because it seems like he's going faster than you would expect in the rain.

Gamemaster:And so your first thought is, oh, he's not driving safely in the rain.

Gamemaster:And then he, like, just through sheer immaculate driving skills, like, oh, no, he can drive this fast because he can control the car in this rain.

Argyle:you you

Gamemaster:He's just better at it than other people.

Gamemaster:Nine-year-olds do great.

Gamemaster:So you get to the weather portion of the news and weather, and they are absolutely commenting on the rain.

Gamemaster:Local meteorarchanists?

Gamemaster:I don't know what you would call a meteorologist that's magic.

Gamemaster:Probably still just a meteorologist.

Gamemaster:Local diviners are predicting that the weather will remain like this forever, which is really confusing to everybody involved.

Argyle:you

Gamemaster:And so they're trying to get to the bottom of that.

Gamemaster:And they really would like to apologize for any undue confusion this may be causing.

Gamemaster:And as soon as the Sears figure out what the issue with their oracular device is, they will get back to you with an updated prediction for the weather.

Gamemaster:But for the time being, just, you know, expect heavy rains.

Gamemaster:You know, make sure to clean out your gutter, all that kind of stuff.

Gamemaster:Just generally be careful if you're around the river.

Argyle:Uh oh.

Gamemaster:But then you finish your drive and you find a parking lot outside of the nearby Gryphonline Distribution Center.

Gamemaster:One second.

Argyle:They're gonna go meet a mob boss by a river.

Johnny:That can't go wrong.

Anzu:We're going to be sleeping with the fishes.

Gamemaster:You guys find a parking space and you pull up in front of Gryphonline.

Gamemaster:Gryphonline, this particular area, it is called that because they operate a flock of griffins to do their delivery work.

Gamemaster:It's like drones, but earlier and also could eat you.

Argyle:Pigeons.

Gamemaster:Yeah, but much, much bigger.

Gamemaster:So the Gryphonline Distribution Center is actually a Gryphon nesting site slash mail office.

Gamemaster:You walk up to it and you can see that this is clearly an established building.

Gamemaster:It's kind of got like this interior plaza thing.

Gamemaster:They've got this really nice looking...

Gamemaster:red and orange-leaved tree in the center that kind of serves as a centerpiece for the area.

Johnny:you you

Gamemaster:And there are signs that point out different parts of the distribution center, like if you're looking to self-serve mail and check a P.O. Box, this is over here.

Gamemaster:If you want to come in and mail a package, that's over there.

Gamemaster:And then an employees-only service area on one side of the building.

Gamemaster:There are people I would say milling about.

Gamemaster:It's pouring.

Gamemaster:We're pretty close to the river here.

Gamemaster:So nobody's just kind of loitering in the plaza.

Gamemaster:But you can see even as you pull up, there are people in various like through windows in parts of the store.

Argyle:Action.

Gamemaster:The stores are open.

Gamemaster:People visit here for daily business.

Gamemaster:You guys don't attract any particularly weird looks.

Gamemaster:I think you might get one if somebody sees the nine-year-old get out of the driver's seat, but other than that, not really.

Anzu:Yes, did they give us a specific number?

Johnny:So we're looking for the Embercall P.O. Box, right?

Johnny:Oh, cool.

Anzu:Were they able to get... Yes, so what are we going to...

Gamemaster:Yeah, there is a particular address for the company on the file, so they can give you the specific P.O. Box for the script of mine.

Gamemaster:You're looking for number 9C.

Johnny:Go find that one.

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:I'm trying

Benny:Do you have any magic that can help us divine what's in there?

Gamemaster:So...

Gamemaster:So this building on the right is the self-service area as well as a mailbox thing.

Gamemaster:So you guys can head in and see where.

Gamemaster:The PO boxes are just a full array of what look to be locked boxes on one wall.

Gamemaster:Most of them are mailboxes.

Gamemaster:They're not designed for holding packages or anything like that.

Gamemaster:But there is just a full array.

Gamemaster:Yes, Jorge?

Argyle:I don't need a glass.

Argyle:Sorry, my... Damn it, my glass cutter.

Gamemaster:No, they're metal lockboxes.

Gamemaster:You cannot use your glass cutter on the metal lockboxes, I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:But also, there are people in here, which wouldn't take kindly to you breaking into a mailbox while they're around.

Argyle:Give me a restriction.

Gamemaster:You can see that it looks like there are four or five people coming in and out who are actively using the mailboxes, or it looks like there is an employee by the looks of it wearing the

Gamemaster:bright orange Gryphonline uniform um over behind a desk in one corner of this building it looks like he's talking to a customer about various package shapes and the cost and its cost to mail them but there are like people in here it's not just you can sneak behind a corner uh and and open up a p.o box

Anzu:No.

Johnny:a poll team huddle team huddle does anyone have like a reliable way to open this thing what did you say Jorge that is reliable but does anyone have on the chart of things that are loud and reliable

Anzu:I don't.

Anzu:So we could... Yeah, but that's really... It's going to get a lot of attention.

Argyle:Well, I have an axe that could probably do this.

Argyle:I have an axe.

Argyle:Great axe.

Argyle:It's a reliable one.

Benny:I have Thieves Toolkit and Small Dexterous Hands.

Johnny:This is the, this is loud.

Johnny:This is reliable.

Johnny:We need something that's like over here.

Johnny:Oh, that's great.

Anzu:So the way I see it, we have two options.

Anzu:One, we break it open.

Anzu:Two, stake out.

Argyle:I like you to stick out, but when we speak out from.

Anzu:Yeah, because we would need to be watching the box.

Anzu:Someone would have to be in here.

Johnny:Can you see through your bird's eyes?

Johnny:Is that a thing you can do?

Anzu:Yes, however, I can look through his eyes for one minute every 10 minutes.

Anzu:So I only have 10% coverage.

Johnny:And can he communicate with you telepathically by any chance?

Argyle:On a different note, is it dangerous to have a bird out near griffins?

Johnny:So he can be like...

Anzu:I think he could send me an impulse if somebody...

Gamemaster:Where do you get him from?

Gamemaster:Is it a familiar... Okay.

Anzu:It's the witch familiar.

Johnny:No, no.

Gamemaster:Gryphonline claims that their griffins are very well trained and would never eat a bird because they're fed at the facility.

Argyle:They claim that.

Argyle:Great.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Anzu:But are there any griffins inside this area with the lockboxes?

Anzu:Hmm.

Gamemaster:Not inside the building, no.

Gamemaster:There are griffins that are flying in and out of you.

Gamemaster:It looks like there's a roost.

Gamemaster:So, Gryphonline is built on a cliff that is about 100 feet above the river, and it looks like they're flying out from under the cliff.

Gamemaster:So you gather that the roost is actually below these major buildings.

Gamemaster:So you see them flying in and out, but they're not in the P.O.

Gamemaster:Box area.

Anzu:Yeah.

Argyle:Do griffins like eggs?

Gamemaster:They're meat eaters, so they'd eat eggs.

Argyle:Do they lay them?

Gamemaster:Oh, do they lay them?

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I think griffins lay eggs.

Gamemaster:They're birds.

Argyle:It's also weird how our bird member of the party is almost so pro-quiche.

Anzu:Excellent.

Argyle:Just wanted to call that out.

Johnny:It's like other eggs, though.

Argyle:Just put it out there.

Anzu:You do make a good point, though.

Anzu:I did hatch once upon a time.

Argyle:Yeah, just say.

Argyle:Did you leave your bird inside?

Anzu:I believe, Josh, that the bird, without any feats, can't speak words to me telepathically, but I think it can send feelings or...

Gamemaster:It can communicate empathically with you as long as it's within a mile of you sharing emotions.

Gamemaster:So yeah, you can have an emotion that's like, haha, I found this person.

Anzu:Right.

Johnny:I really like the idea of this child breaking into this P.O. Box though.

Gamemaster:That's a lab.

Anzu:So if there's a rafter or something near the ceiling of this room... Yeah.

Gamemaster:So...

Gamemaster:There are places that it could hide in this room that you think it wouldn't necessarily gather much attention, but it would have to roll a stealth check to do that.

Anzu:Well, that can be our backup.

Benny:Wait, are we actually doing the stakeout thing?

Gamemaster:Excuse me.

Argyle:Just a quick question.

Anzu:I think we're gonna try it for now.

Johnny:Yeah, probably like seven.

Argyle:So what time is it?

Argyle:How long does it take to get to the docks?

Argyle:Early if we were planning for this.

Gamemaster:What time do you think you guys would have woken up?

Gamemaster:Alright, so it's like 7.30 in the morning.

Argyle:How long does it take to get to the docks from there?

Gamemaster:To that particular dock, if you have the car, it's probably like a 20 minute drive.

Gamemaster:If you had to walk, it's probably like an hour.

Johnny:Burt's Tats.

Argyle:We walk really fast.

Anzu:Okay, Josh, I need a little more assistance.

Gamemaster:I was taking into account the speed at which you normally walk.

Gamemaster:You don't get to be like, oh, Google Maps says it's 20, so I'll be there in 15.

Anzu:Oh, no, wait, there's a stat block.

Anzu:What does this do?

Anzu:No.

Anzu:Oh, view skills!

Gamemaster:Oh, should I put Othello on the...

Anzu:A six stealth.

Anzu:That's pretty good.

Johnny:Josh, if we send you character art can we get our tokens to have our character art?

Anzu:Let's absolutely go.

Gamemaster:Yeah, of course.

Anzu:That's a 25.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:I've been meaning to ask you guys for character art because I want to do this thing where when you roll a natural 20, your character appears on the screen for a half second.

Gamemaster:If you guys have seen Persona at all, there's a thing that happens where it's just the eyes and there's a little lip.

Gamemaster:But I need character art for that.

Gamemaster:So if you have character art, send it to me.

Gamemaster:You got 26?

Gamemaster:Or still?

Anzu:Was that it?

Gamemaster:27?

Gamemaster:I don't know.

Gamemaster:I'm asking.

Anzu:It was 25.

Anzu:Oh, jeez.

Gamemaster:25.

Gamemaster:So we'll just call it 28.

Gamemaster:No, 25.

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:One second.

Gamemaster:Let me roll a perception check for this man.

Gamemaster:What is his perception?

Gamemaster:Bad.

Johnny:birds stealthy.

Gamemaster:13.

Anzu:Is the car parked close to the building?

Gamemaster:Okay, so Bird sneaks up onto the rafters above the P.O.

Gamemaster:box and shimmies so that he's not really visible from most places in the area and thinks it's pretty well hidden.

Gamemaster:Nobody seems to react.

Anzu:Or do we have to walk a ways?

Gamemaster:Within a mile, if that's the question.

Gamemaster:It's like right outside the building.

Gamemaster:There's a parking lot that you guys are parked in.

Gamemaster:So maybe like 500 feet from where you are.

Anzu:Yeah, because I still want to be close.

Anzu:so that we can intercept you know what I'm saying so it's like 7.30 I mean we could give it 6 hours for now see what happens is that too long?

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Yeah, a long time.

Benny:I mean, for me, it's not too long.

Benny:I mean, six hours.

Benny:You guys think that they're just going to roll up to their headquarter P.O.

Argyle:Thank you.

Benny:box at like eight in the morning on a random day?

Anzu:Well, since it's rainy, they're going to figure that not really a lot of people will be out.

Benny:What are they getting from here?

Johnny:whatever's in that P.O. Box.

Anzu:This is like the address of their business.

Benny:But there's no way their business fits in there, and he'll point to the P.O.

Benny:box.

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Anzu:Benny, why don't you lick your lollipop?

Benny:Okay.

Argyle:If you want, Benny can try picking the lock and I'll distract the guard with Johnny.

Johnny:Okay.

Benny:Well, let's give it six hours first.

Argyle:Or I can distract him from the other with Johnny.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:What do you guys want to do for the next six hours?

Anzu:um you know

Johnny:Quick, everyone say one fun fact about themselves.

Johnny:Argyle, you start.

Argyle:I'm adopted.

Johnny:Benny?

Benny:I have a thirst for power.

Argyle:Are they hatchlings?

Johnny:That is a fun fact.

Johnny:Anzu?

Anzu:I have two siblings.

Johnny:That's perfect.

Argyle:Are they in the same patch?

Anzu:Yes.

Anzu:Broodlings?

Anzu:Hatchlings?

Gamemaster:Hatchling would imply that they're a child.

Gamemaster:Broodling would imply that they were born at the same time.

Anzu:Yeah.

Anzu:Yeah, broodling.

Anzu:That's what I... Yeah.

Argyle:Are you good friends?

Benny:Broodling.

Anzu:Yeah, pretty good friends.

Anzu:I'm probably a little closer to my brother than my sister, but... No, they're not evil.

Johnny:they they look they point at each other

Argyle:Must be nice.

Argyle:I don't know.

Anzu:No, definitely not.

Benny:Little defensive.

Gamemaster:Is one of your siblings evil?

Gamemaster:I mean, you kind of have to ask that in a fantasy setting.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:i guess i didn't say i was raised

Gamemaster:Which one of you is the evil twin?

Benny:Raise your hand if you have an evil sibling.

Benny:I don't really know.

Benny:I can't vouch for all of them.

Johnny:Wait, wait, wait.

Johnny:Wait.

Johnny:Wait, what?

Johnny:Argyle, so you're adopted.

Johnny:You said you were raised on a farm.

Johnny:What?

Johnny:You came from a farm.

Johnny:What?

Argyle:That's a good question.

Johnny:What does that mean?

Johnny:Oh, that's why he's the spawn.

Anzu:Well, no, the question is, what does the farm cultivate?

Gamemaster:Water buffalo.

Argyle:Some evil siblings.

Johnny:So it's a people farm.

Argyle:Yeah, you can say that.

Johnny:Now, were you, and don't get the, don't take this the wrong way.

Johnny:Were you grown in a test tube or like sprouted from a pod or did you dangle off of a tree?

Johnny:Big vat.

Argyle:I don't think either of those.

Argyle:I think if anything, probably closest to the two, but I think it was all about that.

Anzu:So do you not have biological parents?

Anzu:I know you're adopted, but...

Argyle:Well, everyone has biological parents.

Argyle:Maybe not.

Argyle:Benny, do you have biological parents?

Benny:I have a biological dad.

Argyle:All right.

Argyle:Same.

Johnny:Okay, follow-up question.

Johnny:Do you have a belly button?

Argyle:Does Argyle have a belly button?

Gamemaster:He'd have a belly button, yeah.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:Other follow-up question.

Johnny:Anzu, I assume you don't have a belly button then, right?

Johnny:Birds don't have belly buttons.

Anzu:I hatched.

Anzu:I don't think I have a need for that.

Argyle:Does Benny?

Benny:Where do you put your change?

Johnny:Third follow-up.

Argyle:Does Benny have a belly button?

Benny:I think Benny would have a belly button.

Argyle:Is it an innie or outtie?

Benny:It's an innie.

Benny:He's not disgusting.

Benny:I haven't seen an adult with an outie.

Gamemaster:Wow.

Benny:I have to imagine all of them get culled by that point.

Gamemaster:Cold?

Benny:Yeah.

Anzu:Okay, that's so much worse than the cold that I heard at first.

Johnny:You get cold.

Johnny:Oh, God.

Benny:They do inspections at the end of high school.

Johnny:Yeah, I pulled my shirt and showed you my belly button.

Gamemaster:Who's doing the culling?

Benny:They're like, you can't be an adult with that.

Gamemaster:Like the government?

Argyle:yeah so you know right right does johnny skyfall okay should we get that concurrent

Benny:I didn't ask a lot of questions.

Benny:I was okay with it.

Gamemaster:Right, okay.

Gamemaster:I think with that, we should end today's session.

Gamemaster:Oh, right.

Gamemaster:It's good that we know that three members of the party have belly buttons.

Gamemaster:And it's all the ones you would expect.

Benny:Wait, Josh, how far along in the time did we get of the six hours?

Gamemaster:Like three hours or so.

Johnny:We learned a lot about each other, though.

Gamemaster:Nope.

Benny:Three hours and nothing happened in three hours?

Argyle:He has.

Benny:Okay.

Johnny:I'm giving plenty of fun facts about myself.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:We can pick up next session and finish up the stakeout.

Anzu:All right.

Gamemaster:I like how Johnny went around and asked everybody for a fun fact, but did not offer one himself.

Benny:People pay for that.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:And then he has a belly button.

Johnny:I had one talent.

Johnny:It was getting stuck with a knife and not dying.

Johnny:I was really glad that scene worked because in my head I was like, this is going to be really cool.

Gamemaster:That's a pretty good talent.

Gamemaster:Like, I'd like that talent.

Gamemaster:If you didn't roll ridiculously well both times, it would not have worked in your favor.

Gamemaster:It's ridiculous that you just walked in and you're like, hey, give me your boss.

Gamemaster:And they're like, no.

Gamemaster:And you're like, please.

Gamemaster:And they say, okay, sure.

Gamemaster:Here you go.

Argyle:Good.

Gamemaster:You did a good job.

Johnny:I got one job in this group saying stuff.

Gamemaster:How do we feel about next week?

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Same time, same place?

Anzu:It should be good.

Anzu:Oh, Noah's feeling really good about it.

Gamemaster:All right.

Benny:Same time, same place.

Gamemaster:See you all soon.

Gamemaster:I'm going to take a nap.

Johnny:Bye guys.

Anzu:Good night, folks.

Benny:Beach.