2025-12-2 — Akasha

Gamemaster:How are you?

Anzu:Hello, hello.

Anzu:How are you?

Anzu:Oh.

Gamemaster:I'm doing alright.

Gamemaster:How about yourself?

Anzu:Pretty good.

Anzu:I'm pumped.

Gamemaster:Pumped?

Anzu:Yeah.

Anzu:Just because it's been a while.

Gamemaster:That's true.

Gamemaster:It has.

Gamemaster:It's not all that uncommon for us to miss a week, but it feels like it's been a while because Thanksgiving was a whole thing.

Anzu:Yeah, yeah.

Anzu:I was all over the place.

Gamemaster:Where'd you go?

Gamemaster:Oh.

Anzu:Well, Liz and I are still in the phase of going to both families.

Anzu:So we went to her uncle's house in the afternoon and then to my aunt's house in the evening.

Anzu:So, you know, quick drive, you know, Mass Pequa to Oceanside and then Oceanside to Levittown, you know.

Gamemaster:Boy, I'm surprised you don't, like, split, like, one family Thanksgiving, the other family Christmas.

Anzu:We haven't gotten there yet.

Anzu:I'm sure that down the line, that's how it'll go.

Anzu:But we still want to see everybody.

Anzu:Yeah, he was just focused.

Gamemaster:Understandable.

Gamemaster:Michael!

Benny:yes i was looking at my screen i know a guy like that

Gamemaster:Why did you look so angry just then?

Gamemaster:Oh, I get it.

Gamemaster:I get angry when I look at my screen, too.

Gamemaster:I understand.

Gamemaster:Nope.

Anzu:It depends on what's on the screen.

Gamemaster:Technology just in general makes me mad.

Gamemaster:Yeah, me.

Gamemaster:You know me.

Benny:No, no.

Benny:Why would they?

Gamemaster:You don't know me?

Anzu:I think he's saying he knows an additional person with the same quality.

Gamemaster:Do I sound alright?

Gamemaster:I don't believe that I'm unique.

Gamemaster:Do I sound alright?

Gamemaster:I'm mixed around with... I haven't seen the image, but I see the name of the image in the notification, and I don't like it.

Benny:Why would they help me like that?

Gamemaster:Okay, well now I've seen the image and it was exactly what I thought it was going to be from the name.

Johnny:Josh, I like it.

Anzu:I don't know who that is.

Anzu:Oh, okay.

Benny:What is the name of the image?

Gamemaster:The Unabomber.

Anzu:I do know who that is.

Anzu:So you could have asked Alexa about him and she would have said,

Gamemaster:It's a bunch of numbers and then Ted Kaczynski and then a bunch of numbers, Mike.

Gamemaster:So it's bad.

Benny:You know, Ted Kaczynski was alive at the time that Alexa came out, which I just think is very funny.

Benny:No, no, no, no.

Benny:His whole thing is he hated the invasiveness of corporate technology.

Anzu:Currently alive.

Argyle:Thank you.

Benny:And Alexa was one of the first listening devices on 24-7 in your house.

Benny:And he was alive for that.

Benny:So he was just in some prison in Colorado like, what?

Benny:Well, I mean, of course they did.

Gamemaster:I mean, he was already bombing people.

Gamemaster:I don't think it would have made him much more angry.

Benny:I think he was probably just like, well, if you've read my work, I saw this coming.

Gamemaster:Then you would know my opinions on grammatical things.

Gamemaster:I really like how he was caught.

Gamemaster:I think it's stupid.

Benny:He was caught because of grammatical errors?

Argyle:Who are we talking about?

Anzu:The Unabomber.

Gamemaster:We're talking about the Unabomber.

Argyle:That's who I thought.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:He had a very specific knit around, he thought the phrase, you can't have your cake and eat it too, he thought that was dumb.

Argyle:Okay.

Anzu:Keep up, Jorge.

Anzu:Keep up.

Gamemaster:So he would say, you can't eat your cake and have it too, because he thought that made more sense because it was more clear what it meant.

Johnny:Jorge, this is a real question.

Gamemaster:And he wrote it in one of his manifestos.

Gamemaster:And his brother read the Unabomber's Manifesto and saw that particular phrase and was like, oh shit, my brother is the only one who uses the phrase in that way and tipped off the FBI if that was a contributing factor to why they found him.

Argyle:What a narc.

Argyle:What an absolute terrible brother.

Benny:This is why... I thought Jorge was going to say it depends on which sibling.

Johnny:If one of your siblings was a domestic terrorist and you knew, would you out them?

Argyle:Depends on what type of terrorism.

Argyle:Unabomber?

Johnny:I thought you were dealing with a sibling.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:One of my uncles is a domestic terrorist.

Argyle:You've told us about that.

Gamemaster:So... I think technically he's like a cousin.

Johnny:Wait.

Johnny:Wait, Josh, your uncle's a domestic terrorist?

Gamemaster:He's like one step removed.

Gamemaster:But yeah, he was an Israeli nationalist and didn't like Russia.

Gamemaster:And so he thought he would bomb the Russian embassy.

Gamemaster:while they were like having a performance of a ballet there uh but he was really bad at it so he managed to kill no one uh he served his time he's in jail now he sorry he was in jail he's out of jail now he's in florida and he has a podcast it's a good time yeah

Argyle:Okay.

Benny:Thank you.

Johnny:Okay, well that's good.

Anzu:Oh.

Johnny:I don't like that that's the logical conclusion at all.

Argyle:I'm not supporting your uncle, but...

Johnny:What is the what?

Argyle:He could have done worse.

Johnny:What is the what there?

Argyle:All right, all I'm saying is he failed to kill anyone and bombed the Russian... Like, of all countries, he picked a good one, and then he didn't kill anyone.

Benny:Can you imagine just like him sitting down with his defense attorney?

Gamemaster:It was the Russian embassy on U.S.

Argyle:So... Still, still.

Gamemaster:soil.

Johnny:They probably sat down and said, you can't have your cake and eat it too.

Argyle:I'm not condoning it, but I'm saying it could have been much worse.

Argyle:Like, he could have been, like, I don't know, bombing schools?

Benny:He's just like, honestly, yeah.

Benny:I mean, I got a little crazy back there.

Benny:I'll be honest.

Benny:I'm glad no one was hurt.

Benny:And the attorney's like, yeah, yeah, a little crazy.

Benny:He's like, yeah, just a little while.

Benny:I got carried away.

Argyle:It's like, it's like the, I don't know if you've seen the Mike Tyson clip when he, when he was just like, man, I was crazy back then.

Argyle:I was so crazy.

Argyle:I had a tiger.

Argyle:What?

Argyle:I'm a tiger.

Argyle:Like, I don't know why I went.

Argyle:And then the attorney's like, well, it's a good thing you picked Russia.

Argyle:They're like an evil one.

Argyle:You know, you could have picked a worse one.

Anzu:What is the genre of his podcast?

Gamemaster:Uh, just Jewish supremacy, basically.

Anzu:Hmm.

Gamemaster:Like, he's consistent in his views.

Argyle:I found out today, or yesterday, that some high-end face creams have foreskin in it.

Anzu:From like a person or prime?

Gamemaster:What?

Argyle:Babies.

Anzu:So people will be buying that up?

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:Why does your inquiry sound like you are selling?

Anzu:Huh.

Argyle:Yeah, I'm just saying, I found that out.

Benny:People be buying that up?

Benny:People just be buying that?

Benny:They pay money?

Benny:Green money?

Anzu:I just didn't... I just didn't realize you could do something like that.

Benny:They pay cash up front?

Benny:They don't ask too many questions?

Argyle:Yeah it's kind of crazy.

Benny:Now the way that you're phrasing it makes it sound like you're going to acquire inventory.

Benny:I just didn't realize people would pay for that kind of stuff.

Benny:I just didn't realize there was a market.

Johnny:For skin futures forecast.

Gamemaster:This is dumb.

Anzu:Can I... Are there futures for this market?

Benny:DM me after this.

Anzu:Can I...

Benny:No, well, yeah, you can make them if you want.

Benny:Oh.

Benny:I have another fact that sounds fake or might be just fake at all.

Benny:Did you know that in the 1960s, the United States was planning or at least scheming with the idea of dropping 250 nuclear bombs on Israel?

Benny:They were going to make a canal to compete with the Suez Canal.

Benny:They were going to bomb areas where people didn't live.

Benny:They were just going to use nukes.

Gamemaster:Why didn't we do that?

Benny:To create a canal that would compete with the Suez Canal.

Johnny:you

Anzu:That's a crazy way to go about that.

Benny:That's honestly a great question.

Benny:I love anything that is like old science.

Benny:They're like, what if we just fucking did the most insane thing with our current technology?

Benny:It moves a lot of dirt.

Benny:We could just drop 250 fucking nukes.

Argyle:Well, do you know about... What's the name of... Do you know... Let me get this up, because it's going to seem like I'm making this up.

Gamemaster:Project Plowshare.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:They had to stop testing it.

Gamemaster:They performed 27 tests and then they had to stop because they kept putting radioactive fallout in the water.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Which makes sense.

Anzu:What is this?

Gamemaster:They were using nukes to excavate the ground.

Anzu:The consequences of our actions?

Johnny:Hate those.

Argyle:Do you guys know about the... I forget the name of the startup that has been talking to governments about trying to dim the sunlight.

Johnny:Is it just Project Hail Mary?

Johnny:That just sounds like that book.

Argyle:I forget the startup cost.

Gamemaster:So I've seen... There have been a bunch of proposals for putting a large number of satellites in our L1 Lagrange point to reduce the solar emissions that hit Earth by something like 1%.

Argyle:It's just like, hey, let's put a bunch of dust.

Argyle:Stardust solutions.

Argyle:That's what it's called.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:It is technically feasible.

Gamemaster:It would only cost a few trillion dollars continuously because the L1 Lagrange point is not a stable orbit, so you'd either have to spend fuel to move things back into the orbit as they leave, or you'd have to replace it with new things.

Gamemaster:But it is effectively the beginnings of a Dyson swarm in a very, very small Scale.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:I feel like sci-fi writers have too easy of a job.

Benny:Because people are like, what if we put this thing up that blocks the sun, but it requires continuous power?

Benny:And then you're like, oh, so like 500 years into the future, we've made one of these.

Benny:We've gone another 500 years of using it.

Benny:So the planet is completely used to this ecology.

Benny:And then we run out of fuel.

Benny:Boom.

Benny:Instant book.

Anzu:Thank you.

Benny:Kid has to save the world by finding fuel to put the fucking umbrella in front of the sun again.

Johnny:Just use solar fuel.

Johnny:Use solar power.

Johnny:Easy.

Johnny:It's right there.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's it.

Benny:Boom.

Benny:That's the ending.

Gamemaster:Solar powered.

Johnny:Easy.

Johnny:It's always daytime in space.

Benny:Or nighttime.

Benny:Depending on... Depending on the time on Earth.

Gamemaster:Depending on what?

Anzu:Excellent.

Gamemaster:I asked this before and I didn't get a response.

Anzu:Excellent.

Argyle:Or your Thanksgivings.

Gamemaster:Do I sound alright?

Benny:I don't think we heard you earlier.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:I, like, changed the game and stuff around.

Gamemaster:Oh, did you not?

Anzu:I think you asked that question right as Jorge and Noah joined, and then all hell broke loose.

Gamemaster:Hmm.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Gamemaster:I just, I had been going through the recordings of the transcripts and stuff while I was, like, redoing the backups, and I noticed that my mic is, like, 20 decibels higher than everybody else's.

Gamemaster:So I mixed around with some settings, and I wanted to make sure that you could still hear me.

Gamemaster:But if I sound all right, then boom.

Gamemaster:How was your Thanksgiving, Jorge, since I spoke over you?

Argyle:It was good.

Argyle:Parents got a sauna, so I sauned for like four days straight.

Johnny:you

Argyle:It was good.

Argyle:Good time.

Anzu:There you go.

Anzu:That's sick.

Gamemaster:Now, is there such thing as too much sauna?

Argyle:Highly recommend a sauna.

Argyle:No, there is.

Argyle:There is.

Gamemaster:Oh, okay.

Anzu:And he did it.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:So I did the first day.

Argyle:So the problem is they have like the finished sauna heater.

Argyle:So it's like it's not a wood one.

Argyle:It's an electric one.

Argyle:There's a bunch of rocks.

Argyle:And then if you want to make it wet, you just pour some water over the top.

Argyle:Steam, all of that.

Argyle:Problem.

Benny:I like zero.

Argyle:Steam's hotter than normal air.

Argyle:And also, if you put a lot of steam, the water condensates on you, and then you can't sweat.

Argyle:So now you're covered in very, very hot water.

Argyle:So I very quickly...

Argyle:It got very hot very quickly.

Argyle:And so the next days, I was a little bit more relaxed with the amount of water I put out.

Argyle:That was my lesson.

Benny:Many gyms have a sign directly above the rocks that says, don't pour water on these rocks.

Benny:People are cavemen in the gym near my apartment.

Benny:On the way out, they'll dump water on the rocks.

Benny:This isn't an Oregon Trail campsite that you have to put out when you go to bed.

Benny:You're not going to be in here for the benefits, if any, of the increased humidity.

Benny:And I want it dry so it encourages my body to sweat, but it doesn't try to kill me.

Benny:Why are you doing this?

Benny:And now it smells like shit because the rocks are covered in baked dust because they're hot and they get dust on them and skin cells.

Benny:So it smells awful now.

Benny:It smells like concrete dust.

Benny:It's humid and you're gone.

Benny:Why did you do that?

Anzu:Maybe you should put up a second sign, like go for double.

Gamemaster:fun sizzle.

Johnny:Okay.

Anzu:Does the original sign say please on it?

Gamemaster:What?

Benny:I believe so.

Argyle:Be right back.

Gamemaster:Where are they getting the water from?

Anzu:Hmm.

Benny:There's like a water tank thing outside for when you're... So they take a plastic cup...

Benny:And instead of drinking the water, they bring it in the sauna with them and then they pour it on the rocks.

Gamemaster:Sounds like a lot of extra work to be doing.

Benny:They're not even in the sauna when it's not even like, well, I prefer it this.

Benny:You don't prefer it that way because you would have done it at the beginning.

Benny:Why did you just pour water on the rocks, you fucking asshole?

Benny:Yeah, bro.

Anzu:They were doubling it and giving it to the next person.

Gamemaster:Meat sizzle.

Benny:They should have taken it.

Benny:I also witnessed an almost fight.

Benny:in the sauna with my brother over Thanksgiving because some guy came into the sauna on FaceTime, and another person in the sauna did not like that.

Anzu:Right.

Benny:And they did not use nice words to discuss with each other the finer points of cameras in locker rooms, whether or not they are allowed by the gym, and who knows who at the front desk

Benny:The guy was just like, you know what?

Benny:You can go to the front desk.

Benny:My name's Mo.

Benny:You can tell him I was on the FaceTime in the sauna.

Benny:See what happens.

Benny:I know people here.

Benny:And the guy's just like, okay.

Benny:And then he goes and does that.

Benny:He leaves.

Benny:The other guy sits in the sauna, FaceTimes, starts talking about, like, that guy was so disrespectful to me.

Benny:What an asshole.

Benny:He has no idea.

Benny:One call, and he's fucking done.

Benny:And I'm just like, what?

Benny:You're going to have gang members get involved in violence over you committing a crime?

Johnny:you

Benny:Because you can't have rolling cameras in a private area.

Benny:So you're committing a crime currently, like right now.

Benny:And then on the way out of the sauna, they were both in the locker room with an employee.

Benny:And he's just like, it doesn't say anywhere that I can't be on my phone.

Benny:He's just like, actually, it says right there and right there.

Benny:There's signs in the locker room that say you cannot have a camera on.

Benny:in the locker room.

Benny:It's very explicit.

Benny:He's like, well, he didn't have to be an asshole.

Benny:He didn't have to be an asshole about it.

Gamemaster:Mm hmm.

Benny:I would have gotten off it if he wasn't an asshole.

Benny:And I'm like, no, there's no way.

Benny:And then he's just like, you can go in there and ask them.

Benny:There's witnesses.

Benny:They'll tell you that he was an asshole.

Benny:And it's just like, I don't think anyone in there is on the side of the guy having an out loud conversation on FaceTime in a sauna.

Benny:I think you're fucking crazy.

Benny:And then I was talking to my friends and they're just like,

Benny:uh oh yeah everyone that gets kicked out of the other branch of that gym goes to that one so you get all the rowdy people at that place and i was like oh oof i guess

Johnny:They all got phones on in the sauna.

Argyle:How are y'all Thanksgivings?

Argyle:Other than that, any non- dishonor eluded shenanigans?

Anzu:genius genius very good move

Johnny:My niece, who is two years old, sneezed on a toy and offered it to me.

Johnny:And I said no.

Johnny:And then my wife is like, that was so rude.

Johnny:And then two days later, my niece got super sick.

Johnny:And I was like, I don't want to be that guy.

Johnny:But I kind of told you so.

Johnny:So I didn't get sick.

Argyle:Very good.

Johnny:Because I didn't accept that toy.

Argyle:I think there's something going around because I know a lot of people that are sick, including some of my family members on Thanksgiving.

Argyle:And myself included.

Anzu:So her birthday was a super spreader event.

Gamemaster:Good.

Argyle:But I think it might have been COVID.

Argyle:And my sister has her birthday party the week before Thanksgiving, which I'm pretty sure is where we all caught the COVID.

Argyle:And then we got the COVID like Thanksgiving or a day or two before.

Argyle:So that's my theory.

Johnny:Do you have COVID right now?

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:I didn't take the test, but I have all my COVID symptoms, or I had them all, and then they went away.

Argyle:So... Yeah, yeah.

Johnny:Oh, I'm glad you're feeling better.

Benny:They say gargling helps.

Argyle:Sana's help.

Johnny:Do you need to gargle anything or just kind of like...

Gamemaster:who says that I'd like to see it

Benny:No, you can gargle water.

Benny:Like if three times a day, just like in even intervals, you just go and gargle for like 30 seconds just playing water.

Benny:There's a study.

Benny:Okay.

Anzu:Well, Jorge, maybe you're right because my mother and brother were also sick on Thanksgiving, but they did not participate.

Anzu:They stayed home.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:In the sickness?

Gamemaster:Do they know if they had COVID or if it was just generic disease?

Benny:Oh.

Anzu:They didn't do any testing, but my mom was in Florida the weekend before, so airports, you know, who knows.

Gamemaster:Florida is where they keep the COVID anyway, so.

Anzu:Yeah.

Argyle:I also made a really nice turkey broth with the leftover turkey carcass that I made.

Anzu:I've not made a turkey before.

Argyle:I made a beautiful turkey.

Argyle:Do you guys make the turkeys?

Argyle:Spatchcocking, the way to go.

Johnny:Oh.

Benny:We cook them.

Anzu:I was ordered to carve the turkey this year, which was interesting.

Gamemaster:Do you have like an electric carver to do it?

Argyle:Ooh, big guy alert.

Anzu:So what's funny is there was an electric carver, but the video tutorial I watched online, the guy just used a knife, and I was like, well, that looked like a controlled environment to me, so that's what I'm going to try.

Benny:Have you seen Maximum Overdrive?

Anzu:No.

Benny:Yeah, that's why I don't use electric carvers.

Argyle:I don't use them because my mom...

Argyle:Saw some news article when I was a kid about someone who cut off a finger with an electric carver, and then she's just scared everyone in the family to not do it.

Benny:Let me see if I can find the GIF from maximum overdrive.

Argyle:This was my turkey.

Argyle:I highly recommend also, if you have the forethought, to order a heritage bird.

Johnny:skin looks cool

Argyle:It's a game changer.

Argyle:Heritage turkeys, ugh.

Anzu:Nice, Jorge.

Anzu:Good presentation.

Argyle:Yeah, I made a little herbal compound butter.

Anzu:Looks like it might be a little herbal.

Anzu:Am I right?

Anzu:Oh, look at this guy.

Argyle:It's really easy.

Argyle:The night before, I spatchcock it, lay it down so it dries out, put some salt so it dry brines.

Argyle:Day of, herb butter in the hot oven.

Argyle:It's done in like an hour 20.

Argyle:28-pound bird.

Johnny:Well.

Anzu:How many people did you serve your turkey to?

Argyle:I think it was like 10, 11-ish people.

Anzu:Nice.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:I ordered from the same heritage place the last three years in a row, and they ship it frozen.

Argyle:You can pick when.

Argyle:It's great.

Argyle:It is great.

Argyle:I highly recommend it.

Benny:The plot of Maximum Overdrive.

Benny:I think someone asked.

Benny:A comet comes by Earth and affects the electromagnetic field and makes every single machine try to kill everyone.

Benny:So this is the 80s.

Benny:Electric carvers are all the rage.

Benny:So they have one maim some woman.

Anzu:That's tough.

Anzu:Tough way to go.

Anzu:But thank you for citing your source with the gargling.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:The problem is that that person didn't cite his source, and so I need to make a Twitter account so I can see the replies if anybody's calling him out on that.

Benny:Oh, let me see.

Benny:Oh.

Argyle:You can also just make a Twitter account to ask Grok.

Gamemaster:Why would I ask Rock?

Argyle:I have a co-worker that went to work at XAI, and he was smart, so I guess Grok's probably smart, right?

Argyle:Transcend property.

Gamemaster:But, like, I wouldn't ask any AI.

Gamemaster:Especially when... I can't believe they got... They released it once you left.

Argyle:Gemini 3 is so good!

Argyle:Oh my god, it's crazy good.

Argyle:I'm very impressed with it.

Argyle:My old company did great.

Argyle:It did so well that Sam Alton's been panicking.

Argyle:There's been leaks.

Gamemaster:Clearly you were the one preventing them from releasing it.

Argyle:I was holding them back.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:Ooh, I found a chat GPT reply.

Benny:I'll just read anything that I can find that's a chat GPT reply to this tweet.

Benny:In a world quick to write a script for everything, this is a pretty elegant result.

Gamemaster:Sure, that's true though.

Argyle:Also, final closing thing for me.

Argyle:Have you guys ever had a bullshit cocktail?

Johnny:Oh, what is that?

Gamemaster:What?

Benny:No.

Argyle:So it was mentioned to me by us.

Argyle:There's like a famous restaurant or there is a famous restaurant in New York.

Argyle:They'll give this to you in the wintertime.

Argyle:It'll be hot broth.

Argyle:I made mine with turkey broth.

Argyle:You put a little bit of like some lemon juice, a little bit dash of sherry, a liquor.

Argyle:It's like a vermouth type of thing.

Argyle:Put a little bit of cayenne pepper.

Argyle:Delicious drink.

Argyle:I'm sure you could just skip the sherry and put sherry vinegar instead.

Argyle:But delicious.

Anzu:I don't like the idea of spicy drink.

Benny:Hmm.

Argyle:The trick is to not put that much that it turns into like a spicy marg.

Gamemaster:Why?

Argyle:It's just to round it out.

Argyle:Some people put Tabasco.

Argyle:You could put black pepper.

Argyle:It's just to give it a little bite.

Anzu:Right.

Anzu:My problem with spicy drink is my real problem is I don't really like spicy.

Argyle:There is a restaurant by my cousins in Wanta, which I guess near Tanner.

Anzu:And then in my mind, drink is one of the reliefs from the spicy.

Anzu:So then when the drink is also spicy, it's like, what am I supposed to do?

Johnny:Hmm.

Argyle:It's like this Mexican restaurant, and it's just like a small-town Mexican restaurant.

Argyle:And you can get like spicy marks, or any marks, that are like goblets.

Argyle:And it's just such good comfort food.

Argyle:I love that restaurant.

Argyle:I try to find the restaurant elsewhere.

Argyle:I get a chimichanga and a massive margarita.

Argyle:And they let you take it to go.

Anzu:I might know the place you're talking about.

Argyle:Yeah, I don't know the name, but if you show me the address.

Argyle:It's near where my cousins are, so you can literally walk there.

Argyle:And then you can take your marks to go.

Argyle:So you can have like 64 ounces of margarita.

Argyle:They're crazy big.

Anzu:This place might not be... Wantaw.

Argyle:Thank you.

Anzu:Escourses.

Benny:There's a lot of people agreeing putting nasal rinse.

Gamemaster:Once I logged in, it showed me the link that he had that actually went to the Japanese paper, which was all that I was looking for.

Benny:I did find one very long GPT reply I'm not going to read.

Benny:Someone that, as far as I can tell, is not a GPT reply ended their...

Benny:a professor of some sort, ended his reply with, like, not proved outside of Japan.

Benny:And it's like, oh, okay, I'll just go to Japan if I want to do this.

Gamemaster:That's true.

Gamemaster:I mean, they did only do the test in Kyoto, so do we know if it applies elsewhere?

Johnny:Thank you.

Benny:Oof.

Benny:That's the new company I'm going to start.

Benny:We're going to put labs everywhere so that you can...

Benny:subsection your population even further to just absolutely get... Well, actually, we found that men have to go to far Eastern Europe to get any results from this placebo, while men really find that Northern Canada is the best place for this placebo to work.

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:I mean, you don't know if that's wrong?

Benny:All confidence intervals include zero.

Johnny:Well.

Gamemaster:Is that the place that Jorge was talking about, or is that just a restaurant near you?

Anzu:I don't know if that's the place, Jorge.

Anzu:That's what he made me think of.

Anzu:This is a place in Wontaw, and I feel like I've seen those big... That's it?

Argyle:Yeah, that's the place!

Anzu:Oh my gosh, I love that place.

Argyle:The place is great!

Anzu:Yeah.

Anzu:I haven't been in a while, but... Ah, there you go.

Argyle:Yeah, they know the owners.

Argyle:So the thing is, my cousin, she married a guy who was, like, I think the highest-ranked Apple engineer in New York.

Argyle:But she's also, like, a teacher.

Argyle:So, like, after school, the teachers sometimes just go to their house.

Argyle:Their husbands drop her off at their house.

Argyle:They all walk down to that restaurant.

Argyle:Drink a bunch of Mars and then leave.

Anzu:I've had that chimichanga, Jorge.

Argyle:It is a good Chibichanga.

Gamemaster:Is it a good chimichanga?

Anzu:Yeah.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:That's amazing.

Gamemaster:Is it worth the trip out to Wanta for the chimichanga, or do you need to be in the area?

Anzu:Yeah, that's tricky.

Argyle:Do you like Tex-Mex?

Gamemaster:I do.

Argyle:So I think the best way to describe it is if you're in the town, you'd be so hyped that you have this Tex-Mex place.

Argyle:I don't know if you'd go out of your way to go to the town for it.

Anzu:Yeah.

Anzu:Like, for me, it's like 10 minutes, you know, so we'll go.

Argyle:Yeah.

Anzu:My family will go every once in a while, but...

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Like I had favorite restaurants when I lived in Westboro, but I wouldn't like recommend it from someone like in Boston to go to Westboro for it.

Gamemaster:Do we want to gargle a little bit and then play some Pathfinder?

Johnny:Listen, everyone I know makes fun of me every day for this water bottle, and that's not an exaggeration.

Argyle:Noah!

Benny:Sure.

Gamemaster:Oh, and he's doing it.

Gamemaster:Bye, Mike.

Anzu:Makes it easy.

Argyle:Also, chonker.

Johnny:But I only have to fill it up once per day.

Argyle:I filled mine up a bunch because I put way too much ice.

Argyle:It's like all ice.

Johnny:That ice never melts.

Johnny:It's in there forever.

Argyle:Yeah, but there's not much space for water.

Johnny:It's forever.

Argyle:It's all ice.

Johnny:The ice is made of water.

Johnny:That counts.

Anzu:Ooh, I wanted to ask Noah how things are going with the book before we play.

Gamemaster:Very excited.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:Oh, they're going very well.

Johnny:I meet with my cover artist for the first time on Friday.

Johnny:So hopefully by the end of the month, we'll have a cover.

Anzu:That's sick.

Johnny:And then it's still on track to come out the end of February, beginning of March.

Johnny:So I'm very excited about it.

Anzu:Incredible.

Johnny:Thank you for asking, Tanner.

Anzu:All right, now I'm ready.

Anzu:Well, I don't know where Mike is, but... Yeah, that's kind of what I figured.

Gamemaster:I can't tell if Mike is back or not, because sometimes he's here, but he's just in the background.

Johnny:He's got a gargle.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:I'm always here.

Johnny:I got this one.

Benny:Yeah, you could start.

Benny:I'm just gargling.

Gamemaster:Does anybody want to do a recap of the previous session?

Argyle:We did a lot.

Argyle:Where did it start?

Argyle:Was it a... Yes.

Anzu:Oh, he's got it.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:No one's got it.

Johnny:We fought some non-hostile snakes who had it coming to them because they were so passive aggressive.

Johnny:So we got actively aggressive.

Johnny:The snakes were far more aggressive than we expected and we did get our butts kicked for a minute, but then we beat the snakes.

Johnny:Snakes, you know, how you do?

Johnny:Walked a little bit.

Johnny:We were suddenly in a field with some weather.

Anzu:Make it till you make it.

Johnny:And there's a big mansion there.

Johnny:And we were like, oh, this feels like a Fane.

Johnny:We looked around.

Johnny:We opened the door.

Johnny:There was a Giant skeleton there.

Johnny:He was like, oh, my God, you're the guest we've been expecting.

Johnny:And we were all like, yes, we are the guests you have been expecting.

Johnny:Went inside.

Johnny:We went inside, waited a little bit.

Johnny:requested several items, most of which were brought to us, asked if we could open the window, were expressly told, don't open the window, rolled the worst we've ever rolled ever for two hours straight.

Johnny:Josh gave us one last chance, wherein we proceeded to roll the best we've ever rolled ever for an hour straight.

Johnny:Statistically improbable.

Johnny:The guy did not show up.

Johnny:We discovered he's a necromancer who also runs a health insurance company, which that kind of tracks.

Argyle:Thank you.

Johnny:Turns out he was the Zorbon the whole time, and he's a lich, and he's squeezing the life out of corpses.

Johnny:We stole a bunch of his stuff, looked around, found everything in this dude's house except for the basement where we were like, oh, we got to go down there last, and then we didn't have time to go down there last, which might have been good.

Johnny:Yeah, the big thing was that he was a necromancer.

Johnny:He's also somehow connected to everything else going on.

Johnny:We stole his journal.

Johnny:And then we left and got out just totally clean.

Gamemaster:I'm mad at you guys.

Anzu:And I think we were on our way to the authorities?

Gamemaster:We... Okay, so to go a little bit more in depth into all of that.

Benny:We were.

Gamemaster:Yes, all of that's true.

Gamemaster:I'm trying to think of relevant details out of the house that weren't in the recap.

Gamemaster:There weren't many.

Gamemaster:You covered them.

Gamemaster:You met the people.

Argyle:We got some precious jewels.

Gamemaster:You stole some precious jewels used in a raised dead ritual from... You stole it.

Argyle:Harsh word.

Argyle:We acquired some.

Gamemaster:You stole it just like that time that you looted the dead bodies of that Oogathon in the alley.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Sometimes you guys do crimes.

Gamemaster:It's fine.

Gamemaster:I'm just not going to sugarcoat it.

Gamemaster:So you stole some gems from Master Grayson's office.

Gamemaster:You also, I believe, stole one of the blood-like fruits from the orangery in the backyard.

Anzu:Yes I have that.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:So I guess that's in Anzu's pocket.

Argyle:you.

Gamemaster:You didn't go into the basement.

Gamemaster:You did go into the secret room behind the painting in his bedroom.

Gamemaster:You picked up some of his effectively necromantic textbooks, as well as his journal.

Gamemaster:You got to see the corpse of Mr. Whiskers.

Gamemaster:He had been necromantically rung, so to speak.

Gamemaster:You did somehow...

Anzu:Ugh.

Gamemaster:You made six D100 checks with increasing chances of failure and succeeded on all of them, which is ridiculous.

Gamemaster:So you escaped completely without alerting anybody of your ne'er-do-well-ed-ness.

Gamemaster:You escaped the sewers.

Gamemaster:You went back to your car.

Gamemaster:You did a quick flip through of the journal.

Gamemaster:The relevant entries you got from the journal were...

Gamemaster:Grayson had been doing experiments on replacing motivation centers in people without altering their personality.

Gamemaster:Grayson was mad at quote-unquote idiot deer for double dipping and installing radar dishes, and he was planning to get rid of him.

Gamemaster:And the entry for earlier today in session was that he had spotted or he had been given reports of two Inquisitors sniffing around Site B, whatever that is, and that they would need to move.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:You had driven into the Aurideon over to Rook's Crossing where the Magical Crimes Convox is.

Gamemaster:I believe we ended last session with all of you in the still-free parking lot of the Convox, getting ready for whatever your next move was.

Argyle:Yeah, so do you want to go in?

Johnny:Yeah, I think we should.

Johnny:It seems like a big revelation.

Johnny:Probably only share it.

Argyle:What's the inspector's name again?

Gamemaster:Detective Brooks.

Argyle:Rooks.

Argyle:All right, let's go.

Johnny:Brooks.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:So...

Gamemaster:You all head out of the car, head back into the detective agency.

Gamemaster:It has been two days since you were last here, so you know that regardless of whether or not you meet with Detective Brooks, you do also have two gold worth of stipend available for you to pick up because you are on payroll right now.

Gamemaster:You can leave a note with the guy at the front desk saying that you're here to meet with Brooks.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:He tells you to like hang out in the waiting area for a little bit.

Argyle:If we set up a bank account... If we set up a bank account, can they direct deposit?

Gamemaster:But not long.

Anzu:We have a group fund.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Benny:yeah for business i'll chuck two in the group fund zero you guys wanted your money

Argyle:You should set up an account.

Anzu:A business account.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:Are we in LLC in case we get sued?

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:We registered them.

Argyle:How much is in this group fund?

Argyle:you

Benny:You did.

Anzu:He's right.

Anzu:We had some things to buy.

Anzu:Doesn't really sound like a big deal.

Gamemaster:In case anybody was curious, I just, I went to any dice because I wanted to double check.

Gamemaster:There was a 95% chance of you guys being caught by Grayson over the course of the various rolls.

Gamemaster:And the fact that you rolled really low on all those D100s helped.

Gamemaster:I'm mad about that still.

Gamemaster:Either way.

Johnny:worked out.

Gamemaster:You... Yeah.

Argyle:We're the most nonchalant D&D group ever.

Argyle:Pretty standard stuff, actually.

Benny:He could feel our nonchalant energy.

Benny:He's like, nothing bad's happening there.

Benny:I don't got to rush home.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's exactly what happened.

Johnny:We were the folks who were the guests who's waiting for it.

Gamemaster:Exactly.

Gamemaster:This whole time he actually was expecting you, and this whole thing, it was totally fine.

Gamemaster:He would have just said hello, offered you some dinner.

Gamemaster:Um...

Gamemaster:Regardless, you hang out for a little bit.

Gamemaster:Detective Brooks comes in from the office area in the back of this building, greets each of you, and brings you back into his office to discuss what you guys have been up to the past two days.

Gamemaster:Because if you recall, you were left off with the standing bounty on Mr. Tywelwyn Leatherhide's head.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:or 500 gold pieces.

Gamemaster:He says, all right, what have you got for me?

Johnny:We've cracked a case.

Johnny:I'll slam down.

Johnny:I don't know if I have the thing.

Johnny:I'll just yell that.

Gamemaster:I believe you did have the book, so if you want to slam down the book on the desk, you can.

Johnny:I'll go, we cracked the case.

Johnny:I'll look around and go, who has the book?

Johnny:I do.

Johnny:And then I'll slam it down.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:He'll pick up the book and start rifling through it and say, is this related to Dwellin in some way?

Johnny:Go to the end.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:One second, I have to roll a check for him.

Argyle:Our gals being very nonchalant with a cigarette in the corner.

Anzu:Interestingly, we weren't 100% sure it would be connected, and then it was.

Benny:literacy.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Looking through this, he says,

Gamemaster:Whose book is this?

Johnny:This is, this is one Benjamin Grayson, sorry, Benjamin Grayson of Amber Call.

Argyle:That's the funny part.

Gamemaster:Are you trying to get me fired?

Gamemaster:And he hands the back book to you.

Gamemaster:He hands the book back to you.

Gamemaster:Listen.

Gamemaster:What's the score here?

Johnny:What?

Anzu:This man is manipulating...

Benny:you you

Argyle:Wait, wait, wait, before you start anything.

Argyle:If we give you information about him, is it going to make us look bad?

Argyle:If you look bad?

Gamemaster:Well, okay, so before you say anything...

Gamemaster:Benjamin Grayson is the current head of Amber Call and sitting on the council that rules Calaria, and you want me, a state-funded official, to investigate his wrongdoings?

Argyle:Well, if it helps, you're already investigated.

Gamemaster:Doesn't help.

Gamemaster:Don't want to know that.

Johnny:What if we told you he killed a really cool cat?

Argyle:And eight people.

Gamemaster:Okay, well, killing an animal actually isn't illegal.

Johnny:A cat.

Gamemaster:Oh, okay.

Gamemaster:Still don't want to know.

Gamemaster:Listen, this is... If I start opening any investigations into Amber Call, it's my neck on the line.

Gamemaster:And by extension, yours, because I'm the reason that you're being paid this stipend.

Argyle:Uh.

Anzu:Hmm.

Gamemaster:And if you've actually found something, it's more than just, like, employment on the line.

Gamemaster:Listen,

Argyle:Well, don't worry.

Argyle:We didn't find anything.

Gamemaster:Tywelwyn's got, like, the green light.

Johnny:You know anything about a Site B and two Inquisitors that were looking around there?

Gamemaster:You can kill him, you can drag him in to be arrested, all of that kind of stuff.

Gamemaster:I didn't hear Diddly Squat about anything else, alright?

Argyle:We didn't see anything else.

Gamemaster:Alright.

Argyle:Cool.

Gamemaster:Did you find anything on Tywelwyn that we can talk about?

Gamemaster:Um, well, Inquisitors are part of the Inquisition, which is not my department, so I would ask with them, but also, you're all heathens, so I don't think they'll talk to you.

Gamemaster:Not an insult, just a statement of fact.

Benny:I thought they were naturally curious beings.

Anzu:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Inquisitors?

Benny:Unfortunate.

Johnny:I got a 14.

Gamemaster:The name is misleading.

Argyle:All right, well, this was great.

Gamemaster:Um, can I actually, uh...

Gamemaster:Johnny, can I get... Just roll with a plus 7 modifier.

Gamemaster:This is a history check.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:The Inquisitor name sounds relatively familiar to you, but you can't quite place from where.

Johnny:Like the name Inquisitor?

Johnny:That can't be good.

Gamemaster:Like the organization.

Gamemaster:You're fairly confident that you've dealt with them at some point in the past, but you can't remember the instance in which that was the case.

Johnny:I don't tell anyone that.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:All right.

Gamemaster:Listen, you all seem like nice folks.

Gamemaster:I sincerely don't want anything negative to happen to you.

Gamemaster:I understand this is a dangerous line of work, so there's no real need to bring down extra ire on you.

Gamemaster:Even if you didn't find anything that you think might be interesting and you'd like to investigate on your own, you can do so, but know that that is a dangerous prospect.

Gamemaster:If you're really concerned about it and you want to be do-gooders, then you can always just drop that book that you didn't find off at the Inquisitor's office and they'll look into it in due time.

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:But in the meantime, it'd be more politically expedient if you could just focus on Tywelwyn.

Anzu:We got to stay in our lane, yeah.

Benny:Of course.

Anzu:We don't want to ruffle any feathers.

Gamemaster:Oh, bird puns.

Gamemaster:Um... Not your fault.

Argyle:I apologize for coming in here with such little updates on the case.

Gamemaster:You didn't know.

Gamemaster:Now you do, though.

Gamemaster:So... Yeah.

Argyle:Adios.

Gamemaster:And he, uh... He, like, lets you guys leave his office.

Johnny:I wait until we're back in the car and driving away.

Gamemaster:Go get it.

Johnny:And we're not letting this go, right?

Johnny:This is, uh... We're gonna do something about it?

Argyle:Adios.

Argyle:Are we dropping this book off at the crazy Inquisitors?

Johnny:No, fuck no.

Johnny:I don't know, I get a bad vibe from them.

Anzu:I think we hang on to it for now and see what we can learn from it.

Benny:Yeah, how can we be sure?

Anzu:I don't really know much about them, I don't think.

Argyle:I kind of like the Inquisitors, I'm being honest with you.

Argyle:They're crazy.

Argyle:Do I know anything about them?

Gamemaster:You can roll a society check or a religion check here to know if you know anything about them.

Argyle:Great.

Johnny:Josh, this book that we found, is it just a journal or is there magic stuff in here too?

Gamemaster:No, it's just a journal.

Gamemaster:You stole other books from his study that are in history and instruction on some necromantic rituals.

Gamemaster:I don't know if you're necessarily learned enough in necromancy to know if it's rare or if it's just normal textbooks and the like, but this particular Moleskine is just historical.

Gamemaster:It's a personal journal.

Johnny:Okay, I was just going to give it to Anzu if it was magic stuff.

Argyle:I got a 19 for my religion check.

Gamemaster:Okay, so you wouldn't know a lot about the Inquisitors, mostly because they don't really talk to outsiders all that much, and you are very much an outsider.

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, all of you are for this particular circumstance.

Gamemaster:They are...

Gamemaster:They are the arm of the Iridescent Church that is employed when the best solution to a problem is to track down the problem and burn it until it's no longer there, effectively.

Gamemaster:They're very good at what they do.

Gamemaster:They're all one track in that they are...

Gamemaster:modified at some point in their training to make it physically impossible for them to give up on a lead.

Gamemaster:If they attempt to do so, they will receive negative symptoms that get worse the longer they ignore it until they actually perish.

Gamemaster:They also cannot break the law.

Gamemaster:It is physically impossible for them to do so.

Gamemaster:But the alternative to that is they all tend to be relatively strong.

Gamemaster:From a mechanical perspective, going through the ritual that applies all of those negative effects is a free five-level bump, effectively.

Gamemaster:Generally speaking, you don't want to interact with a member of the Inquisition unless you have good reason to do so.

Argyle:If they can't break the law, if they know that this guy that's on some council of Calaria is, for example, evil, they physically couldn't ignore it.

Gamemaster:There are ways around that, including very specifically that the Inquisition follows the Church's laws.

Gamemaster:It does not follow Calaria's laws.

Gamemaster:It is an Iridescent Church institution, not a Calarian one.

Gamemaster:Okay, so you guys are in a car.

Gamemaster:Where are you going?

Gamemaster:What are you doing?

Anzu:What time is it?

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:It's probably around one in the afternoon at this point.

Anzu:Oh, wow.

Argyle:You wanna go sell those jewels?

Johnny:Yeah, how about the Smiler?

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:Also, I think I missed the part where we get 500 gold for killing Tywelwyn.

Argyle:Yeah, we're gonna go do that.

Anzu:Oh, yeah.

Benny:Agreed.

Johnny:Yeah, I missed that part.

Anzu:Well, the problem is he's heavily fortified, so we've got to figure out... We should definitely sell the jewels and buy some weapons.

Johnny:Why is he still alive?

Johnny:We should kill him.

Argyle:Sell these jewels and roll it into...

Johnny:No, I think we.

Argyle:weaponry to go kill that guy.

Johnny:Great.

Johnny:All right.

Johnny:That's three votes for I. Anzu, Othello, what say you?

Gamemaster:You guys would know, given that gems are a magical component tied to a monetary value, the economy of Calaria takes that in mind.

Gamemaster:If you guys go to a bank, you can get them converted to a fair trade.

Argyle:What about a fence?

Johnny:Thank you.

Argyle:Aren't we supposed to use a fence to sell stolen jewels?

Gamemaster:No, the whole point of jewels is that they're not traceable, because they're all fungible.

Gamemaster:The banks would actually prefer that you convert the jewels into money because then they can track where the money's going.

Benny:To a bank.

Argyle:Do we get discounts for buying if we use jewels at the fence?

Gamemaster:No, you already get a discount at the fence because you're friends with the fence.

Anzu:Okay, guys, hear me out.

Argyle:Yeah.

Anzu:I know the last time we addressed one of these, it went a little crazy, but there is a radar dish on top of a credit union.

Johnny:Oh, here's what we do.

Johnny:We go in.

Johnny:Me and Benny make a distraction.

Benny:I want to use the funds before we get involved.

Argyle:Also, why are we going to take up the dish?

Argyle:We can just kill Tywelwyn then we'll go down.

Anzu:I guess.

Anzu:I don't know the longer they're active, what are they doing?

Benny:The Tywelwyn double dipping is the dish.

Anzu:I presume that he is exerting more influence than was planned for him.

Benny:Somehow.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:So it's probably not actually giving him any additional power.

Benny:And if we continue to take these out, if there's very few or none of them left, he's going to be not very surprised if we show up.

Anzu:You think we should leave him so that we can get the drop on him?

Benny:Although, it did feel like something was watching us at the last dish.

Anzu:Yeah, I don't have a lot of theories for that yet.

Argyle:I don't think it's him.

Johnny:No, maybe they're working with someone.

Benny:Well, I mean, if he's watching us,

Benny:Right.

Benny:The feeling came after we had disconnected the dish.

Argyle:No, I think the... Yeah, the feeling was that it was... Yeah.

Gamemaster:No, the feeling went away when you disconnected the radar dish.

Benny:Okay.

Benny:So he is exerting something else's influence.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:A competitor to Grayson, perhaps.

Argyle:Or Fiend.

Argyle:Or Demon Prince.

Benny:That's what I mean.

Argyle:All right, so sell the jewels, go buy some gear.

Benny:Either way.

Benny:Da bank.

Johnny:We can go to the bank.

Gamemaster:Okay, you guys can go to a bank.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Gamemaster:Would you prefer the Commonwealth Treasury of Calaria, Iridite Mutual, or Ledger, Ledger, and Light?

Gamemaster:It's three different banks.

Gamemaster:There's no difference for you guys.

Anzu:Ledger, ledger, light.

Argyle:Yeah, yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:All it.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:Go ahead.

Gamemaster:So you guys go to the...

Gamemaster:Broker, dealer, ledger, ledger, and light.

Gamemaster:They offer a consumer banking product.

Gamemaster:You guys are welcome to open an account if you like.

Gamemaster:But either way, they'll transfer.

Gamemaster:However amount of gems you would like to convert into money, they will do so.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:Before we do this, just one quick question.

Argyle:It's not going to look suspicious for a millionaire that he loses some gems and all of a sudden some ass has to open an account and sell the gems, right?

Argyle:We don't need to fence these gems.

Benny:They're not going to...

Argyle:The whole point is that we don't need to fence the gems, right?

Argyle:Not suspicious.

Gamemaster:So you don't need to fence the gems.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:It's not strange for a group of adventurers to cash in gems.

Gamemaster:That's like a normal routine thing that happens.

Gamemaster:It's also routine that it goes the other way, that you convert money you have into gems as spell reagents.

Gamemaster:But beyond that, I think with no role necessary, you would be pretty confident that there's no way in hell a bank is making available its banking statements to another company.

Argyle:Great.

Argyle:Just double checking.

Gamemaster:The one thing you can be pretty confident that so long as you're not committing some kind of financial crime here, the bank is not going to raise any flags with anyone.

Argyle:We're not trying to fence mini Mona Lisas.

Johnny:Cool.

Argyle:Cool.

Benny:So Benny will walk up to the desk, put the gems on the top of the desk, say, full withdrawal, please.

Benny:And then he'll pull out the ledger that he's been using to keep track of everyone's gold, because that will now be a physical thing that he starts writing down.

Benny:It's a child account.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:The teller does not give the nine-year-old a second look.

Gamemaster:They have seen weirder things depositing at a bank.

Gamemaster:So they will take your gems and then sort them out, do the proper tabulation.

Gamemaster:And it's 200 gold pieces, correct?

Benny:yeah physical media please

Gamemaster:So they will give you 200 gold pieces.

Gamemaster:Did you want that in physical media, or did you want that deposited into an account?

Johnny:Is there an interest rate?

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Johnny:What's the interest rate we get on this bank account?

Gamemaster:And they pass over.

Gamemaster:Interest rate isn't looking good right now, unfortunately.

Gamemaster:It's .01 annualized.

Johnny:Oh.

Argyle:Is there any casinos around here?

Gamemaster:Not in the financial district you're currently in, but in the Masque District there absolutely are casinos, yes.

Argyle:Alright.

Argyle:That's fine for now.

Anzu:interest rates aren't looking good.

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, there's no casino in the bank.

Anzu:Where's the casino?

Argyle:Put it all on black.

Anzu:I know how to invest.

Gamemaster:You guys, unfortunately, have not shown enough money to make this person think that they can upsell you onto purchasing stocks in the stock market, which the interest rates are much better.

Gamemaster:But, you know, there are fees involved, and 200 gold will not cut it.

Argyle:Is there like a spy index, like a zoo or something like that?

Gamemaster:Uh, no.

Gamemaster:Something for your character to invent.

Argyle:Great.

Benny:Benny would like to invent the spy index that only invests in reconnaissance companies.

Gamemaster:We're not there yet.

Gamemaster:Okay, sure.

Gamemaster:Yeah, absolutely.

Anzu:We're investing in the Inquisitors.

Argyle:My next character is going to create it.

Argyle:Yeah, they're crazy.

Argyle:My next character is going to be creating an index file.

Argyle:But anyway.

Gamemaster:Dumb.

Gamemaster:If your next character makes an index fund, I'm going to make your next character responsible for the first stock market crash at Calaria.

Benny:If his next character is making index funds, my next character is going to be running a life insurance multi-level marketing company.

Johnny:Good.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Anzu:you you

Gamemaster:Pyramid schemes aren't illegal right now, so you could just make it a straight-up pyramid scheme.

Benny:Ooh.

Gamemaster:Ponzi does not exist in this world.

Benny:It's a betting scheme.

Argyle:Okay.

Benny:What does that mean?

Benny:It means some nine-year-old is going to run away with the money at the end of this.

Gamemaster:Okay, so you've swapped out your jewels for coins.

Gamemaster:You wanted to purchase things?

Argyle:Yeah, let's go to the fence.

Gamemaster:Was that the next?

Benny:To our buddy.

Johnny:Just smile.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:You don't need technically to go to a fence because you do have, at this point, legitimately gained money.

Gamemaster:But you can still, for the 10% discount, go to Smiler at the Undertable and make the purchases that you want to purchase.

Argyle:We get discounts.

Argyle:Yeah.

Anzu:Yeah, those are the anti-life files, or...

Gamemaster:Anything that's common he just has or can acquire for you.

Gamemaster:If it's uncommon or rare and at level, let me know and he might be able to get it.

Argyle:Do we want to sell our two black alchemical vials on the killers of anti-Zorbon?

Gamemaster:Oils of Unlife.

Argyle:Yes, there's the oils of unlight, and then we have the two mythic chemicals.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Gamemaster:So each of the vials of Oil of Unlife are worth four gold pieces when you sell them.

Gamemaster:And the Mythotoxin, I think, is 100, but I'll double check.

Gamemaster:It is.

Gamemaster:Mythotoxin is 100 gold pieces.

Johnny:Mythotoxin, though.

Argyle:We'd have to get the enemies to drink it, so that's why it's not... We can't put it on... Yeah, let's just sell it.

Johnny:Mythic creature.

Johnny:Oh, yeah.

Argyle:I'm not going to be getting them to drink stuff.

Johnny:No, wait.

Johnny:It has the... Josh, is it the same one on Archives of Nethis?

Gamemaster:Yeah, it has the injury trait, so you can apply it to a weapon.

Johnny:Yeah.

Johnny:We might want to keep that one in case we do go up against a mythic creature.

Argyle:Sorry, so what's it again?

Gamemaster:It is a mythotoxin.

Johnny:Yeah, we get dropped into anything against a mythic creature.

Gamemaster:I can send a link.

Gamemaster:There you are.

Argyle:Oh, it's level 8, so they actually might fail a save.

Argyle:Wow.

Argyle:Whiskers must have had some juice if they brought that out.

Gamemaster:If you recall, you found the methotoxin in a capsule in a fake molar in their mouths.

Argyle:Oh, it was to kill them.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:We might want to keep that if the thing that killed Whiskers is Mythic.

Benny:Sure.

Argyle:Sorry, what'd you say?

Johnny:We might want to keep that if these guys are using it to kill themselves, because that might mean they are Mythic.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Oh, he did kill them.

Argyle:So.

Gamemaster:Yeah, roll a medicine check, I suppose.

Gamemaster:Medicine or occultism.

Argyle:Cool.

Argyle:Oof.

Argyle:Anyone else want to roll on occultism?

Anzu:Oh, I can roll a cult.

Benny:sure why not oh it's only two okay please hold this is oil of anti-life oh

Anzu:Sorry, I missed that.

Argyle:but we are selling, so we can add eight to the gold, to our group gold, because we'll definitely sell the anti-life.

Johnny:Oh.

Anzu:Please hold.

Anzu:I'm going to roll an occultism check.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:No, it's oil of unlife.

Anzu:25 occult.

Gamemaster:25.

Gamemaster:25 is enough.

Gamemaster:The thing that makes a mythotoxin a mythotoxin is not the thing that you're using it against.

Gamemaster:It's the thing that it's extracted from.

Gamemaster:The toxin is extracted from a mythic creature, which is why it works on other mythic creatures.

Gamemaster:So I think the thing that you would learn from them having mythotoxin capsules is not necessarily that the things you fought were mythic.

Gamemaster:It's more that whoever manufactured the toxin has a ready supply of toxin from a mythic creature to use.

Johnny:Terrifying.

Argyle:It's probably the thing that killed him.

Benny:That'd be weird.

Argyle:Can we... Okay.

Argyle:Well, I would like to make some purchases.

Benny:Same.

Benny:So we have 210 in the group fund.

Benny:Shall we distribute it?

Benny:208 is the most that we can get.

Argyle:Yeah, I only need 20.

Gamemaster:What about my share?

Argyle:I only need 20, but I don't know if you... I can take everything.

Argyle:I don't mind.

Benny:Yeah, everyone take 1,000 gold pieces.

Johnny:Rich.

Anzu:Right.

Johnny:Rich.

Benny:Everyone take 52 gold pieces.

Argyle:That's great, because I was running very low on gold.

Benny:I was getting there.

Benny:I'm going to get there again when I barge in and demand a crushing rune.

Benny:I believe they're 50 gold pieces.

Gamemaster:Yes, absolutely.

Gamemaster:Yeah, crushing level 3, it is uncommon, but he'd be able to get it.

Benny:And with 10%.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Gamemaster:So it's 50 gold pieces, less 10%.

Benny:So free.

Gamemaster:Yes, that's what minus 10% means.

Gamemaster:All of it off.

Johnny:Nice.

Anzu:I'd like to purchase a Pendant of the Occult.

Anzu:It's a level 3 item.

Gamemaster:Yeah, totally doable.

Gamemaster:54 gold pieces.

Anzu:How does 54 gold pieces sound?

Gamemaster:It sounds correct, mathematically.

Anzu:Nice.

Argyle:I will buy a Fortress Shield and a Battle Axe.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Benny:you you

Gamemaster:Totally doable.

Gamemaster:And you are strong enough that this hefty doesn't apply at all, right?

Gamemaster:What's your strength modifier?

Argyle:Yes, it does not apply.

Argyle:Plus four.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you're totally fine.

Gamemaster:You are so slow, though.

Johnny:Kind of a little slow guy.

Argyle:In fact, I take a heavier one.

Gamemaster:Yeah, 20 is so slow.

Argyle:I'm at 20 movement speed.

Gamemaster:Henrik was also slow.

Argyle:Oh.

Argyle:As slow as Henrik was.

Argyle:At the end of the campaign.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:I should be at 15 movement speed, but I'm quick, actually.

Gamemaster:Okay, sure.

Johnny:Trying to decide.

Argyle:Is there anything else that's good?

Argyle:Nah.

Johnny:Josh, can I get a... Can I get glasses of sociability, but just have Smiler transfer the enchantment of glasses of sociability onto my glasses?

Benny:I don't think so.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:Cool.

Gamemaster:For 56 gold pieces.

Johnny:Great.

Anzu:I keep up appearances.

Gamemaster:Sorry, 54.

Gamemaster:I can count.

Gamemaster:54.

Johnny:Got to keep the signature look.

Argyle:Cool.

Argyle:I think I'm set.

Argyle:I just gotta make sure I have my, yeah, potency room on my axe, which I forgot to do.

Argyle:We don't get strike cards yet.

Argyle:Cool.

Johnny:How much does Spell Scrolls cost at this level?

Argyle:Oh, oh, and then I have the, um, I have to hide from that, uh, um, snake.

Argyle:Can I put that on the shield?

Gamemaster:That's going to be a more involved check, but yes, you can attempt to do so.

Johnny:Oh, lovely.

Argyle:We talked about...

Gamemaster:That's not something that Smiler would be able to do for you, though.

Argyle:I'll bring it back to our kind of classical mechanics.

Gamemaster:Just going through and applying... What are you getting the crushing rune on your poly tool like?

Benny:The body tool, yeah.

Argyle:I

Anzu:I've already given myself the Pendant of the Occult.

Gamemaster:You have too many weapons.

Gamemaster:in factory sick all right thank you guys for watching

Anzu:Yes.

Johnny:I think maybe we should.

Argyle:Can we buy health potions or are we good?

Johnny:I don't know why I sound like that.

Johnny:I think we should.

Johnny:That might be a bad idea.

Gamemaster:It's 2d8 plus 5 hit points on consumption.

Benny:How much are health potions?

Argyle:What's the health potions we should be buying?

Benny:12.

Johnny:Let's see.

Johnny:Probably the lesser healing potions.

Johnny:They're 12 gold pieces, level 3.

Johnny:I can get one of those.

Johnny:12 gold?

Anzu:How much are they?

Anzu:I'll get one.

Gamemaster:12.

Benny:Is it lesser?

Argyle:I think... Is there any other... Yeah.

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Yeah, lesser.

Gamemaster:You could also get the minor ones, which are 1d8.

Anzu:I've purchased one.

Gamemaster:Those are only four gold pieces.

Benny:i'll just get the lesson wait it yeah what one

Gamemaster:They're futile.

Johnny:Hang on, how much do scrolls cost?

Anzu:I'm going to add it in Foundry.

Johnny:Josh, can I get a level 2 spell scroll of Soothe?

Gamemaster:The answer is yes, but you won't get the discount because Smiler would not be selling spell scrolls.

Gamemaster:I will let you purchase it, though.

Johnny:OK.

Gamemaster:We'll just say that you purchased it somewhere else.

Gamemaster:It'd be seven gold pieces.

Johnny:OK, I will do that, because I think that'll be more useful.

Argyle:Do we think a water bomb would put out a simulacrum that's all coals?

Johnny:Might do some damage.

Johnny:It's not a bad idea.

Benny:The lesser healing potion is more efficient on a gold per hit point basis than the minor.

Argyle:But it's probably less per action, right?

Benny:No, it's more per action.

Gamemaster:The lesser one's better per action.

Gamemaster:The lesser one is the better of the two.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Lesser's better than minor.

Benny:At everything.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:Oh, okay.

Benny:I was like, oh, well, if I just buy five of the little ones, it costs a bunch of action, so it's got to be... It's not.

Argyle:Sorry, so how much is the lesser 12?

Gamemaster:I mean, the lesser's 12.

Argyle:So it's 10 with the discount.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Or, yeah, it's 10.8.

Benny:10 point.

Benny:10.8 what?

Gamemaster:Pointing cold pieces.

Johnny:you you

Benny:Oh.

Benny:I was charging myself full thrash.

Benny:So it's 10 and then 8 silver.

Benny:Means I need to do some exchange.

Anzu:We fought the snakes today, right?

Argyle:All right.

Johnny:Yes.

Anzu:OK.

Anzu:I don't have tracked the state of my spell slots because, honestly, I think it's Josh's fault.

Gamemaster:I, uh, when I leveled you guys up, you got, like, full healed.

Gamemaster:So, yes, you've lost your spell slots.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Argyle:I'm going to go hang out at our place now.

Argyle:I bought two health potions.

Johnny:Got a scroll of soothe so I can do that long distance.

Anzu:I guess we're going to go home for now.

Benny:I'm not sure we have much else to do the rest of the day.

Gamemaster:You can do that.

Benny:And then what are we doing?

Johnny:Go home and rest.

Benny:Are we going to go finally attack?

Johnny:Yeah, go scout it out, watch it, and then attack.

Argyle:Yeah, can I see if our friends can, the siblings, see if they could add this sneak skin to my Fortress Shield?

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Okay, so you guys can, if you've done your purchases, you can, uh, drive on back to the Sin and Tonic.

Gamemaster:Um, you've got your Snake Skin, which took up the majority of your inventory, um, and you'd like to see if it's possible to affix it, uh, into a, um, onto the shield.

Gamemaster:Let me double check.

Gamemaster:Just want to see what this would do.

Gamemaster:look up precious materials um that's way too high that's crazy

Gamemaster:I was going to say it's like Dragonhide, but it can't be like Dragonhide because that would make it a level 8 shield.

Gamemaster:Which is not what we're doing.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:What do I want to make this?

Gamemaster:Do me a favor.

Gamemaster:Roll a d20 and add 16 for me.

Argyle:Print 36.

Gamemaster:That's ridiculous.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:OK.

Gamemaster:Then we will say.

Gamemaster:um it will not work you can see that sister stone it can't make a shield that sister stuff either now i have to give you something good because you rolled a crit which i'm mad at you about

Johnny:Nice.

Gamemaster:You can't shield bash with a fortress shield, can you?

Argyle:i don't know i don't know how shield bash works i'm just switching to the shield character

Gamemaster:Double checks.

Gamemaster:That's no fun.

Gamemaster:The only material available for me to use to... Fortress Shield's only materials available are Duskwood, which is useless to you.

Argyle:Uh huh.

Gamemaster:Because that just reduces the... Yeah, you know what?

Gamemaster:We'll do that.

Gamemaster:How about this?

Gamemaster:You rolled ridiculously high.

Gamemaster:So, we'll have it...

Gamemaster:so that Anouk, the more mechanically-minded twin, can affix it to the front, placing the skin over the shield and then drawing it taut enough that it actually applies a little bit of tension to the front of the shield, effectively reinforcing it, giving it the benefits of a minor reinforcing rune.

Argyle:Cool.

Argyle:Cool, cool, cool.

Argyle:So that stacks, right?

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's just like you got the minor reinforcement early.

Argyle:Okay, because I already also have that for my Bless Shield.

Argyle:So let's get both, right?

Gamemaster:You should, it should just both apply.

Argyle:Hell yeah.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Argyle:Hell yeah.

Argyle:Thank you, Josh.

Gamemaster:Um, okay.

Gamemaster:So.

Gamemaster:You go, you've affixed the snakeskin, you're in the home, you're, um... You've not got anything planned for the rest of the day.

Gamemaster:So what are you guys doing?

Benny:So we said we're going to scope out Tywelwyn's area.

Anzu:Well, yeah, I mean, we could have another stakeout out front of their tavern.

Benny:We have to be sure that we're going to find his sanctum.

Argyle:Bye.

Johnny:They said there were movings.

Benny:This is true.

Anzu:We can look around the area and see if they have alternative entrances and exits.

Anzu:Besides just going through the tavern itself.

Anzu:Yeah, that's what I got.

Johnny:Yeah, I think it'd be worthwhile just to make sure they're still using that location just so we don't get there and we're ready to fight and there's no one there.

Argyle:I uh...

Anzu:Yeah, but they're going to be a lot less happy to see us than they were last time.

Anzu:And they already weren't really that pleased last time.

Benny:So we could covertly swing by.

Benny:I'm trying to think of what information we want to gather.

Benny:So if we covertly swing by, they're still actively using it.

Benny:We essentially need to figure out if Tywelwyn is in there or if he's at a new location.

Benny:Do we want to wait and see if people leave and then tail them to a new location?

Benny:Ooh.

Anzu:Oh, that could be interesting.

Johnny:yeah i think aren't the sewers blotted out right now not all that's fair

Argyle:But they... Do you think they still use the sewers at all?

Gamemaster:You would know that the sewers in Sableclutch below the tavern that they have in that area are flooded.

Argyle:Like, not all of them, because we did walk through some.

Benny:We could tail someone.

Benny:I don't think we have any leads from the sewers.

Benny:We kind of beat the one lead to death so much so that we ended up in another dimension with a person that is like five levels above the guy we're trying to kill.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:So I don't know if there's anything else left that is relevant to Tywelwyn.

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Benny:We didn't see like, oh, this is Tywelwyn.

Benny:It's like, no, this is Tywelwyn's boss's boss's boss.

Benny:who has a pit bull the size of an elephant that shreds people in half.

Johnny:Bye.

Benny:So I think they said that they're moving to a new location.

Benny:We could also just head to the new neighborhood and look for activity.

Benny:They're a gang, right?

Benny:They have like, in some way, it's able to tell outwardly that they're part of that particular gang.

Gamemaster:It's the hats.

Gamemaster:They're the Roundhat Gang.

Gamemaster:They have Roundhats.

Benny:Right.

Benny:Of course.

Johnny:Yeah, I mean, we could stop by their first squat, see if it looks like they're using it.

Johnny:If not, try and tail someone else to wherever their new location is.

Benny:Might be quicker just to go directly to the neighborhood.

Argyle:We can also try... We can also try to grab someone and rough them up, get the information.

Benny:Like, go check out if it has any activity.

Benny:And if not, just go to the new neighborhood and then try to tell someone from there.

Benny:Because maybe they're just going home and they don't live in either of the two locations.

Johnny:Let's start.

Benny:Ooh.

Johnny:Yeah, what about that guy that we almost killed on the docks?

Benny:Grab.

Johnny:He's still around.

Johnny:We see him, we just jump him.

Johnny:He's already scared of us.

Gamemaster:So mean.

Benny:That's true.

Anzu:Jasper.

Benny:Well, I think this is fairly clear then.

Benny:We go to the original place, check for activity, head to the new place, try to locate a central area, and if we get frustrated, we can take our frustrations out on one of the people walking around that's part of the roundhacking.

Johnny:Sounds perfect to me.

Benny:After we sleep, of course.

Benny:And affix runes and...

Benny:talismans, whatever we need to do to level up.

Gamemaster:You guys are... Because I got rid of your spell slots in Foundry during the level-up process, we can just say that you guys had the benefits of a long rest.

Benny:Do we need to do anything to level up?

Benny:Or can we just head over there tonight?

Gamemaster:It was a really relaxing card drive back from the Aurideon.

Gamemaster:So you're not under any specific time pressure here.

Anzu:Bye.

Johnny:Well, nine-year-old driving the car by himself.

Gamemaster:I don't feel the need to make you actually do the rest.

Gamemaster:It's fine.

Benny:There's just an idle conversation.

Benny:You ever feel like you get out right at the right time?

Benny:You know?

Benny:You ever feel like you just missed something bad?

Benny:You guys know what I'm saying?

Benny:Everyone's asleep.

Benny:Alright, to the

Gamemaster:I don't know what you're talking about.

Benny:Clubhouse and Sableclutch?

Benny:The name of the bar is the Crowded Flea?

Gamemaster:Sure.

Argyle:Uh-huh.

Gamemaster:The Crowded Flea.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Johnny:They're just drinking water.

Benny:They're a hat-themed gang.

Benny:It should be like lead poisoning.

Gamemaster:It should be lead poisoning.

Gamemaster:Why wouldn't it be mercury poisoning?

Benny:Or mercury poisoning.

Benny:Yeah, mercury poisoning.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:I don't know what they drink.

Benny:People that make hats are weird.

Gamemaster:They don't drink the mercury either.

Benny:How do they give up poisoning?

Gamemaster:It gets through their skin.

Benny:Isn't that venom?

Anzu:Well, isn't that topical?

Benny:Benny drives into the river.

Anzu:Oh, this map looks very fascinating for me right now.

Gamemaster:Why?

Benny:Map.

Argyle:Thank you.

Johnny:Oh.

Benny:Should I have found it?

Anzu:It's just not really there.

Gamemaster:What do you mean it's not there?

Anzu:I'm seeing twinkly lights.

Gamemaster:You might want to refresh, because I promise there's a map.

Gamemaster:We've already seen this map.

Gamemaster:This is the map of the Crowded Flea.

Johnny:Really?

Gamemaster:You had been here once before when you were asking around after Tywelwyn the first time.

Gamemaster:You're not actually inside yet.

Gamemaster:If you recall, there is a bouncer.

Gamemaster:Let me put a bouncer.

Gamemaster:at the front just just so that you like have an idea

Argyle:They don't want to disguise themselves to try to get in first, so suss it out.

Johnny:I mean, we can just watch and see if folks are going in and out.

Johnny:Oh, that's a big... He's a different guy.

Benny:I've got this lollipop, but I think they'll recognize me still.

Johnny:He's got a lollipop.

Benny:That's not that young man.

Benny:That's not that little man that hangs out with them.

Benny:That's a kid.

Gamemaster:But.

Johnny:He's got a lollipop!

Argyle:What does that say about us?

Johnny:That we'd hang on to.

Argyle:They were just swapping out the kids we hang out with.

Johnny:Although this isn't the kid we hang out with because he is a lollipop.

Argyle:So we're just fucking smacking this guy or are we going to something else?

Johnny:I mean, we could just smack this dude and go in.

Benny:Now we're going to watch.

Johnny:Here's the thing, guys.

Johnny:Last time we were here, I was so cool and badass.

Johnny:So if we're here again and I'm not badass and cool, it's really going to mess up the way you guys view me.

Johnny:So keep that in mind.

Argyle:He's right, he really is so.

Benny:Yeah, we'll kind of be like your kryptonite because we're going to kill everyone that saw you be uncool.

Benny:So we're the only three people that have ever seen you be uncool.

Johnny:Oh, God.

Johnny:Yeah, you guys are the only people I know that have ever seen me be uncool.

Johnny:Everyone else I know has been really cool.

Argyle:So.

Argyle:That's true.

Argyle:Should we besides that sunglasses guy?

Johnny:You mean me?

Johnny:I don't know what you're talking about!

Argyle:No, no, no.

Argyle:The guy they tried to buy the gold glasses from.

Argyle:That's really sad.

Johnny:I turn away.

Benny:yeah is there like a warehouse across the street that has like slitted blinds and it's abandoned and no one will bother us in there the old warehouse check

Anzu:I think we're just going to wait and see who comes and goes and see if any of them got them hats on.

Anzu:You want to...

Gamemaster:Roll a perception check, I suppose, to find a good stakeout spot.

Johnny:The old.

Gamemaster:Actually, I need both a perception check and a stealth check or thievery check.

Anzu:Hmm.

Gamemaster:One perception and then stealth or thievery.

Gamemaster:Either would work here.

Benny:Oh, my God.

Benny:What the fuck?

Benny:19 perception.

Benny:Quarantine stealth.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:So there are two criteria to these checks.

Gamemaster:One is, can I find a location that I could, like, get a good view of the tavern, see around it, see people going in and out?

Gamemaster:With a 19, I think you've identified a few areas that might be, like, that give you a pretty good view of people going in and out, both in the front entrance and you note that there is a, like, workers' service entrance in the back.

Gamemaster:which would be on the map back there, top left.

Benny:Also, just so you guys know, the price of the brick went up.

Johnny:Ooh.

Benny:You now have to roll an 18 to level base TC.

Gamemaster:What?

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Oh, sure.

Argyle:It went up by two.

Argyle:Very sad.

Gamemaster:So you think you've identified a few areas.

Gamemaster:First of all, you could feasibly stay in your car and do a stakeout there.

Gamemaster:There is like a parking lot by the tavern that gives you a pretty good view of the areas.

Gamemaster:It's probably the most conspicuous, but you could just stay there.

Gamemaster:There isn't just a conveniently abandoned warehouse directly across from the tavern.

Gamemaster:There is a warehouse across from the tavern.

Gamemaster:This is a dockyard.

Gamemaster:It just looks like it is in use.

Gamemaster:It might be empty right now, but it's definitely not abandoned.

Gamemaster:But that might work.

Gamemaster:Alternatively, you're pretty sure that there is, I mean, there wouldn't be a fire escape because, like, who would install, who would instate the rules to require that?

Gamemaster:But there is roof access for, not the warehouse, but for the building to the left of the tavern, which looks to be a, like, Bait-and-Tackle Shop.

Johnny:Is the building to the warehouse close enough to jump onto the... Is it next to the warehouse or the bar?

Argyle:How tall is the bait and tackle shot?

Johnny:Sorry.

Gamemaster:The Bait-and-Tackle Shop is next to the bar, and it's a 15-foot distance, which I think you can jump.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:The warehouse is not a 15-foot distance from the tavern.

Gamemaster:One story.

Gamemaster:Same as the tavern.

Argyle:Should we climb up that?

Johnny:Yeah, my vote's for that one.

Argyle:Is there a little alleyway or something?

Gamemaster:Nope.

Argyle:Could we get behind it?

Johnny:Go around the far side of the bait and tackle.

Gamemaster:Not really.

Gamemaster:If you want to take the... Oh, actually, you don't need to take the ladder because you have a grappling hook.

Gamemaster:So you can go on the far side and attempt it.

Gamemaster:I will just need another stealth check for you to launch the grappling hook and time it with the water such that it doesn't make any sounds.

Gamemaster:It's not a particularly difficult DC right now because it is still pouring, and so you have the cover of the rain.

Gamemaster:But I still need a token attempt.

Argyle:Benny, do you want to do it?

Benny:uh wait sorry what this is to climb the bait and tackle uh yeah i can do that where where's the bait and tackle on the map okay

Argyle:Stealth grapple to shoot a stealth grapple.

Gamemaster:It is off the left side of the map.

Gamemaster:Like, imagine that the left side of the map is an alleyway and the building on the other half that's unfortunately not in this map where you guys would be is the shop.

Benny:Am I shooting this for someone else to climb, or all of us to climb, I guess?

Johnny:All of us.

Argyle:Yeah, always.

Benny:Stealth check.

Gamemaster:I don't need an attack roll because it's trivial, it's just the top of the building, but I do want a stealth check, just to make sure you don't catastrophically fail.

Benny:23.

Gamemaster:Okay, totally fine.

Gamemaster:It's pouring, you're right next to an active, moving body of water, so it's easy enough to time it such that you're fairly confident nobody heard it.

Gamemaster:Both launch and grapple on.

Gamemaster:So you now have a roof, sorry, a rope up to the roof.

Gamemaster:Athletics checks, if you want to go up.

Argyle:Climb on up.

Argyle:I ran into the wrong chat, but it's a 20.

Gamemaster:Athletics?

Benny:I'll also give it a climb.

Gamemaster:Yeah, athletics.

Gamemaster:I suppose, or acrobatics.

Johnny:Neither of those are great.

Benny:And I got a 21.

Johnny:Got a 19.

Gamemaster:20, 21, 19.

Anzu:I got a nine.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:So honestly, like you're climbing in soaking wet environment, but also it's a maximum of like 20 feet off of the ground.

Gamemaster:So you make it a little bit up and then I think you probably fall from halfway.

Gamemaster:So you're going to take five points of bludgeoning damage and land back on the ground.

Argyle:I can pull them up like I did last time.

Johnny:Do we just do that a few more times until he finally makes it up?

Anzu:Josh, I am incredibly light.

Gamemaster:That's true.

Gamemaster:You fall and you literally bounce on the ground and you take no damage.

Gamemaster:Yeah, unfortunately, I mean, there's no need to roll here.

Gamemaster:I think it's guaranteed that eventually Anzu will make it up the rope.

Gamemaster:Still, I don't need you to roll this.

Gamemaster:There are no consequences for failure.

Gamemaster:So yeah, no, Anzu makes it up too.

Anzu:It does take me a couple tries.

Gamemaster:Yeah, absolutely.

Gamemaster:But you guys have crawled onto this roof.

Gamemaster:It's one of those, like, flat cement roofs with a little bit of a lip that you can duck behind.

Gamemaster:I do need a stealth check if you want to be on the side facing the tavern and try and stay hidden from the people below.

Gamemaster:But if you're not trying to get a view of the tavern, just be up on the roof and a stealth check is necessary.

Johnny:24.

Argyle:I'm not on the edge of the roof.

Argyle:I'll just chill.

Argyle:I know my place.

Benny:I'll go to the edge.

Gamemaster:All right.

Anzu:I'm gonna keep my distance.

Gamemaster:So we've got Benny and Johnny both pretty stealthily hanging out near that front lip overlooking the tavern.

Gamemaster:What is the plan?

Gamemaster:What are you looking for here from this vantage point?

Gamemaster:You can see people going in the front.

Johnny:Several things.

Gamemaster:You can see people going in through the service entrance.

Johnny:One, anyone we recognize in Roundhats from last time we were here.

Johnny:Two, skylights.

Johnny:Three, trap doors or entrances inside from the top.

Gamemaster:Okay, you can roll a perception check if you like.

Benny:Can I also roll?

Gamemaster:21.

Argyle:I uncoil the grappling gun so it's ready to go again.

Argyle:I pull it up while they're looking.

Johnny:21.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:So, yeah, if you like.

Benny:23.

Gamemaster:Just trying to get that one-upmanship in.

Gamemaster:I get it.

Gamemaster:Both of you with those rolls are successes.

Gamemaster:I mean, talking about skylights, there are none.

Gamemaster:There is no skylight in this building.

Gamemaster:Trapdoors, there might be inside.

Gamemaster:There isn't on the roof.

Gamemaster:So unfortunately, you can't see that.

Gamemaster:So really what you're looking for is just people going in and out.

Gamemaster:With those perception checks, you guys start staking out around after the sun's set.

Gamemaster:So people start filtering in around when you get in.

Gamemaster:Most of the people don't immediately strike you as necessarily members of the Roundhat Gang.

Gamemaster:This is a gang-owned...

Gamemaster:bar, but it isn't a gang exclusive bar.

Gamemaster:Plenty of these people look like they're just dock workers from around the area just settling in after a hard day at work.

Gamemaster:You do occasionally see people that are very obviously members of the gang.

Gamemaster:The most obvious pieces of them being that they are wearing the signature round bowler hat looking thing.

Gamemaster:The other thing that I think you would notice with those perception checks is you had already noticed this a little bit when you had first dealt with them, but every member that you can identify of the Roundhat Gang appears to have some amount of bestial qualities to them.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:They all seem to be human-derived, but there's definitely some animal mixed in.

Gamemaster:part of the gang's recruiting requirements.

Gamemaster:You count going in and out.

Gamemaster:I think over the course of the busiest hour, like leading up to, whether you guys are watching around-ish, nine to ten, you count maybe eight different members of the gang entering.

Gamemaster:You don't see any of them leaving.

Gamemaster:But you also noted when you had

Gamemaster:Like, when you guys had visited the first time, there were a number of them hanging out in one of the back rooms of the bar.

Gamemaster:So it's possible they're just using it.

Gamemaster:How long are you planning on staking out?

Gamemaster:Is this like reconnaissance you want to go through the whole night and see what happens?

Gamemaster:Are you waiting for something in particular?

Johnny:Do we see that big, I think he was a Giant kin maybe, or half Giant from last time I spoke to?

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Johnny:And is there like a skylight or some way to see inside that back room?

Gamemaster:No.

Johnny:No, nothing?

Gamemaster:No, if you want to see things inside the tavern, you need to be ground level to look through the windows, and that comes with the possibility of the people in the windows seeing you.

Johnny:Okay, last question.

Johnny:When I was in that room, are there any windows looking out onto the surrounding area for that back room?

Gamemaster:Yes, the back room does have windows that look out onto the docks.

Johnny:And was it from that back area where they were all sitting and hanging out?

Gamemaster:If you have the map open, this is the back room.

Johnny:Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:And then the window is right here.

Gamemaster:It's looking out right there.

Gamemaster:That's the window.

Johnny:Fellas, if we're interested in doing this right now and taking out everyone in that back room, as long as I can see in there, I can get us all in and get us a bit of a surprise.

Benny:I would prefer if we could hit Tywelwyn with as much surprise as possible.

Benny:So maybe... I mean, I was thinking we could try to scoop up a gang member, maybe on the way out, maybe someone on the way in.

Benny:Maybe we tail them for a couple of blocks, get them in an alley, start getting them talking.

Benny:But we can also just...

Benny:slash and burn i just think it'd be a very big scene and 12 would be much alerted but if he's here

Johnny:My concern is that there's a hidden door back there or something, and we're going to have to fight our way through to get to Tywelwyn anyway.

Argyle:When he mentions his plan, Argyle's coiling the gun back up, and he looks up just like the Chatterjiff of Shrek, and he's just like, I say we jump, because here's the thing.

Argyle:We're going to have to fight these people anyway.

Argyle:If we get a jump on some of them, it goes better.

Argyle:And I'm going to be honest with you, I don't think Tywelwyn is going to be here, but I do think we're going to get more answers.

Argyle:fighting these people than we will a random gang member.

Argyle:Because random gang members, unless they're high rank, they don't seem to know information from the one we interrogated last time.

Benny:That's true.

Argyle:Also, we're on the right side of the law right now.

Benny:There we go.

Argyle:We're allowed to just go fuck them up.

Johnny:Anzu, what say you?

Johnny:Welcome back.

Argyle:We are, right, Josh?

Argyle:Since we're deputized to take them out, we can just go fuck up the gang?

Gamemaster:You can take out the gang.

Gamemaster:Collateral damage will be negatively looked upon.

Argyle:We're not going to go in there and kill civvies, but we can kill gang members.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:I'm just specifying.

Anzu:Let's buy a bomb.

Argyle:Unless the civvies attack us, then it's our God's given right to defend ourselves.

Gamemaster:Like, you...

Benny:No, trust us.

Benny:Tywelwyn was in a hospital.

Benny:The only way for us to get to Tywelwyn in the hospital was to bomb the hospital.

Argyle:We should make a group of four chemists, whatever they're called, and then we just become bombers and all of our missions are now strategically bombed people.

Johnny:He's throwing bombs all the time.

Anzu:Anyway, I think that showing up in there is a little dangerous.

Anzu:I see the potential upside of getting a hand on somebody a little higher up.

Anzu:And we also, if we do clear them out, we can probably make our way into whatever hidden base they have.

Anzu:But it is, Benny's right, it is loud.

Anzu:You know, it'll make us more known.

Johnny:We'd also compromise.

Johnny:The night is young.

Johnny:We could wait for someone to leave, follow them, beat them up, get a little information from them, see what we learn, and then go in guns blazing with whatever we learn from them.

Johnny:But if it's a lower tier guy, we might not get much information.

Argyle:Look, Tywelwyn knows something's up.

Argyle:He knows we're getting close.

Argyle:If we take out some of his goons, maybe he actually gets a little scared, you know?

Argyle:Then he stops doing his expansion stuff.

Johnny:I'm ready for a fight I do remember Anzu earlier saying that people shouldn't have free choice I do remember him saying that

Argyle:I'm ready for a fight.

Argyle:I'm team fight.

Argyle:I vote fight.

Gamemaster:Ha ha ha.

Benny:Anzu, you said that you enjoy making people in pain, so I guess we could go.

Benny:I think Anzu said earlier, actually, that he wishes that instead of moving objects with his mind, he could make them explode and he would just shatter people's heads in front of us.

Johnny:I thought that was weird to bring up out of nowhere.

Johnny:No one mentioned that.

Benny:Okay, it was actually my pick.

Argyle:Argyle does not understand that you guys are fucking with him and he's looking like shocked and he's like getting a little distance from Anzu and he's just like because he's from Mormon town he's just like I don't know about this that checks out that checks out honestly

Anzu:I look to Argyle and I look at the other two and I'm like, guys, come on.

Anzu:Oh, the one that thirsts for blood?

Johnny:You're right.

Johnny:It was Benny who said all that stuff.

Johnny:It was the pick that said it.

Argyle:Creepier, but also makes sense.

Benny:Yeah, I'll be honest.

Gamemaster:Did the pick... I had assumed you had transferred the Bloodthirst to the Polytool.

Benny:The pick's freaking out right now.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:Has that not happened?

Benny:No.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Good to know.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:So here's... I need to be able to see into that room.

Johnny:As long as we are at least... One moment while I look at the spell.

Johnny:60 feet away.

Johnny:We're good.

Johnny:But I need to be able to see where we're going.

Anzu:So we got to get around to that window.

Johnny:Yeah, so we can go over the roof and then just sort of like blip down.

Anzu:Do you think that they're going to hear us running across the roof?

Johnny:Maybe we'll wait until a thunderstorm.

Johnny:There's some sun.

Benny:Or we tiptoe.

Benny:We stealth across the roof.

Anzu:I mean, I'm very light, so...

Argyle:What time of the night is it?

Johnny:Yeah.

Benny:I keep saying that.

Gamemaster:At this point, it's like 1030-ish.

Argyle:We could wait till like 3 a.m.

Argyle:Most of them are probably sleepy.

Johnny:When they're all a little drunk.

Argyle:Yeah, more drunk, all that.

Argyle:Even go for 5 a.m.

Argyle:if you guys want to take a little nap on the roof.

Anzu:not great napping conditions up here

Argyle:4 a.m.?

Argyle:I could sleep worse.

Benny:I think three's not bad.

Benny:Two's not bad.

Benny:I'm getting comfortable.

Johnny:Hey, maybe we give it a little bit.

Johnny:Let them get a little hammered.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:It's just how Jorge Washington killed all those people.

Argyle:He waited for them to party.

Johnny:We're the Jorge Washington of this campaign.

Argyle:He sailed across the Hudson and fucking killed them.

Argyle:Our guy has the fake teeth.

Argyle:He's 6'4".

Johnny:All our girls' teeth are wooden.

Benny:Ah!

Argyle:Alright, so we'll wait a little bit.

Gamemaster:Yeah, so you wait a little bit.

Gamemaster:Just, you know, waiting until the rest of the evening passes.

Gamemaster:You guys can continue to take a look out while you wait.

Gamemaster:You do not see any Roundhat Gang members leave over the course of the evening that you are waiting.

Gamemaster:And after like that busy period, after like 10-ish, you don't see any more enter either.

Gamemaster:It seems the people that are going to enter for the evening already have.

Gamemaster:A few people enter, quite a few people leave.

Gamemaster:They, like, filter out.

Gamemaster:Come 2, 3 a.m., if you've been keeping track of the people as they enter and leave by their appearances, most of the dock workers, most of the people that appear unaffiliated have, at that point, cleared out.

Johnny:Always.

Gamemaster:The bar is still open.

Gamemaster:You can see that there are lights on at this point, and you can still hear the sounds of people drinking on the inside, but they've definitely calmed down in the time that you've been waiting.

Benny:Now, before we bust in there, because we will, good thing a bunch of civilians have left, but also we could go in, we're going in there to

Gamemaster:Come 3 a.m., it's as quiet as you think it's going to get.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:Just a kill to try to draw Tywelwyn out at some point in the future?

Benny:Because I think this is best described as a fact-finding mission.

Johnny:Mm-hmm.

Benny:I mean, they're going to attack us regardless.

Benny:But I think we want to go in and we want to come out with more info on Tywelwyn himself, where he is, hopefully, and maybe how to beat him.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:If we do see Tywelwyn, are we planning to try to kill him now, or are we going to run and regroup?

Benny:Okay.

Johnny:Yeah.

Johnny:I think it depends on how many people are in there and then how well we're all feeling.

Benny:Now...

Johnny:Sort of a game time call.

Argyle:Alright.

Benny:but leaning towards now.

Johnny:All right.

Johnny:We all ready?

Johnny:All right.

Benny:Yes.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:To the next roof!

Gamemaster:Okay, I need, uh, we don't need athletics checks because we've already established that you guys can make this jump, but I do need stealth checks for you to tiptoe across the roof.

Benny:Tiptoeing in my chair.

Gamemaster:The, uh, the DC is relatively low because it's the middle of the night, people have been drinking, and it is still pouring, but still need to make the checks.

Johnny:That's not great.

Benny:Are you really wearing boots on a roof?

Benny:I bought sl- I brought slippers.

Argyle:22.

Johnny:I got these new cowboy boots.

Johnny:I gotta wear them.

Johnny:I forgot to take the tap dancing soles off.

Gamemaster:OK, so we got a 10, a 22, a 14, and what was the last one?

Anzu:I got a 14 19

Gamemaster:Did we get one second?

Gamemaster:19.

Johnny:tuned from Benny.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:One second.

Gamemaster:So they actually.

Gamemaster:OK.

Gamemaster:Okay, as quietly as you think you can, you guys have tiptoed across the roof to the other side.

Gamemaster:You are currently about 20 feet off of the ground above this room, effectively.

Gamemaster:What is the strategy now?

Johnny:we get over a little bit so we can't be seen through the window, lower ourselves down so that we can see through the window into there.

Gamemaster:How are you lowering yourselves down?

Johnny:Grappling hook.

Benny:legs what about just a normal rope

Johnny:Push Anzu off.

Gamemaster:Yeah, Anzu can just jump off, because that part of the game just doesn't apply to him.

Gamemaster:The remaining three of you, if you have a rope that you're fine just letting go, you can do that.

Argyle:Yeah, let's do a normal rope.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:I do still need athletics checks to lower yourselves down.

Gamemaster:You are climbing down 20 feet through slippery rope, because it's wet.

Argyle:21 for me.

Gamemaster:Okay, easy peasy.

Johnny:Let's check.

Johnny:15.

Gamemaster:Athletics check.

Benny:27 for Benny.

Gamemaster:27.

Gamemaster:Easy Noah.

Gamemaster:Give me a reflex save, please, for Johnny.

Gamemaster:15.

Gamemaster:Okay, so you are going to take... Embarrassing.

Gamemaster:You are going to take five points of bludgeoning damage.

Gamemaster:You fall halfway.

Johnny:i'm fine i'm good all right and then can we see like a cluster of folks in there yeah these roles are not great 12.

Argyle:All right, guys.

Gamemaster:Yeah, roll a perception check as you sneak a look through.

Gamemaster:This is the window right here.

Gamemaster:12, OK.

Gamemaster:I mean, you are just looking through a window.

Gamemaster:So one second.

Gamemaster:You see the half-Giant is actually sitting in the window like they're back facing you.

Johnny:Great.

Gamemaster:You see a few other people in the vantage point in the room.

Argyle:Now we kill.

Johnny:Let's see.

Benny:sure assuming we can get past the big guys

Johnny:OK.

Johnny:Let me just reread this spell one more time.

Johnny:So the spell is going to drop us in the middle of the big guys.

Argyle:We jump on the smaller guys first, assuming we take out their damage and then the big guys come over.

Argyle:Blunder, blunder, blunder.

Johnny:We can kind of move around them.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:What spell are you using?

Johnny:Rainbow's End.

Gamemaster:That's wild.

Johnny:Yeah, I've been waiting for the spell.

Gamemaster:Not bad.

Argyle:Why does it pick where you like?

Johnny:I'll drop it in a moment.

Argyle:Why do you know where it's going to go?

Argyle:I just have to be there.

Benny:Yeah.

Argyle:If you just want it to be there also, that's fine with me.

Johnny:Let's see.

Argyle:I don't care.

Johnny:Yeah, it's going to end up being... Do you guys see that burst?

Argyle:Yeah, sounds good.

Johnny:Yes, it's going to be those three.

Johnny:Okay, are we all ready?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Why can't I know?

Argyle:Every time I see Argyle's profile photo, I see him laugh.

Argyle:He looks deranged.

Gamemaster:He's just... He's just beaten down by the world.

Argyle:I want to be right next to the Giant.

Johnny:Okay, everyone get up close to me.

Gamemaster:Oh.

Benny:I think someone's being chased.

Johnny:Oh, you'll be able to get wherever you want, my dude.

Johnny:Don't worry.

Argyle:Let's do it.

Johnny:How do I clear this?

Gamemaster:Where are you guys going?

Argyle:I say.

Gamemaster:Anzu and Benny just leave.

Gamemaster:They don't want to deal with it, so they walk away.

Johnny:They're out.

Johnny:Oh, why have I lost?

Benny:You're safest under Argyle.

Johnny:Sorry, I got to reload.

Johnny:One moment.

Johnny:OK.

Johnny:So everyone gets right up next to me.

Johnny:And then I will pull out a little scrap paper from my back pocket.

Johnny:And it's a poem that none of you have seen me read before.

Johnny:And I've scribbled it.

Johnny:in silence and quiet, and as I pull it out and begin to recite this poem, the words kind of go right through one ear and out the others.

Johnny:And as I do, Johnny begins to glow very softly, and you see the clouds overhead part for the first time in days as Johnny Skyfall looks to you all and says, You guys want to see a miracle?

Johnny:And I will recite a poem so beautiful, it convinces a rainbow to fall out of the sky.

Johnny:And I will cast Rainbow's End right on all three of these guys.

Argyle:Hell yeah.

Gamemaster:yes okay so we'll do the fort save first

Johnny:Pulled it off.

Johnny:First, they have to make this fourth save, and then it all kicks off.

Johnny:As a rainbow just, like, ah, screw that guy.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:Hlarf fails, the croc-like roundhat succeeds, and the boar-like roundhat critically succeeds.

Benny:Bye.

Johnny:Okay, so here I'll take a little bit of damage.

Johnny:Well, except for the guy who quickly succeeded.

Johnny:It's not a whole lot of damage.

Gamemaster:Hlarf takes the full damage.

Johnny:And then Josh, can I get off a courageous anthem as my last action?

Gamemaster:No, we're going to roll initiative once this happens.

Johnny:OK.

Gamemaster:What's going to happen right now is everybody's going to have to roll initiative for me because you've taken a hostile action.

Johnny:Cool.

Argyle:Uh, Josh?

Gamemaster:You can do perception or stealth for this particular check.

Argyle:Could I preemptively raise my shield before we teleport in, or no?

Gamemaster:You can, on your turn, raise a shield if you like.

Argyle:Alright, nevermind.

Gamemaster:You have to teleport in on your turn anyway.

Gamemaster:On your turn, you can use an interact action to teleport into the area drawn by the circle.

Argyle:Oh, it's on my turn!

Argyle:Okay.

Johnny:Yes.

Argyle:I see, I see.

Gamemaster:So long as the circle is there.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:And then the other question is, is there a way I can see my shield's health and everything and hardness?

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:Yes.

Gamemaster:You should see in the, like, do you see how in the bottom left your, like, character is there?

Gamemaster:It says Argyle.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:And then below that is your health, 42 out of 42.

Argyle:Gotcha.

Gamemaster:Below that you should see your shield, which has a hardness of 8 and 64 hit points.

Argyle:OK.

Argyle:Foundry thinks there's a hardness of 9.

Gamemaster:Boundary thinks it has a hardness of 9.

Argyle:No, sorry, Path Builder, Path Builder, thanks, because I added the extra reinforcement rune, and then I get the Blessed Shield spell.

Gamemaster:One second.

Argyle:I don't know if that's right, but... No, I think that's just a feat.

Gamemaster:Well, so have you cast the Blessed Shield spell?

Gamemaster:Do you have the Blessed Shield spell?

Argyle:I have the Blessed Feet.

Gamemaster:Okay, one second, one second, one second.

Argyle:It was instead of the Blessed Armament.

Gamemaster:Yes, Blessed Shield.

Gamemaster:Your shield gains the minor reinforcing rune as you go up a level.

Gamemaster:Oh, okay, so one second.

Gamemaster:Let me... It's still... I don't think the hardness would be 9.

Gamemaster:I'm pretty sure...

Argyle:It should make it plus one, and then the hardness rune gives me plus three.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:One second.

Gamemaster:Do you have a hardness rune?

Argyle:Oops.

Argyle:I thought you gave, sorry, not a hardness rune, a reinforcement rune.

Gamemaster:Okay, hardness 9.

Gamemaster:There we go.

Gamemaster:Shield hardness is 9, broken shield threshold 38.

Argyle:There.

Gamemaster:Does that look correct?

Argyle:Cool, cool, cool.

Argyle:Yes, that was great.

Gamemaster:Cool.

Gamemaster:Great.

Argyle:All right.

Argyle:Sorry, now I will roll my perception.

Gamemaster:Okay, so somebody actually goes before you.

Johnny:Oh, that was a good move.

Benny:Oh, I thought his action was going to be to drink, but I'm glad that I reminded you.

Gamemaster:One of the rats sitting on the couch nearby.

Gamemaster:Oh, right.

Argyle:Fucking rap.

Gamemaster:No, thank you, Mike.

Gamemaster:That actually, that is fair.

Gamemaster:You guys waited until three, which is a benefit because it's the end of the evening.

Gamemaster:And so they are actually all drunk.

Gamemaster:So they're clumsy.

Gamemaster:So one second.

Gamemaster:No.

Johnny:great rainbow ifrost falls out of the sky and this dude just takes a drink

Gamemaster:Yeah, no, no, no, no.

Gamemaster:No, he freaks out, and he looks around, but he's not near a window, and you guys aren't in front of a window, so all he sees is this massive bright rainbow shining through all the thing.

Gamemaster:I think he doesn't know what to do, so we're just going to pass his turn and go to Anzu.

Anzu:Um, I really didn't want to be the first one to go in there, but looks like I should be okay.

Johnny:You can delay, can't you?

Anzu:So I'm going to do it.

Argyle:We'll be there right after.

Argyle:Yeah.

Anzu:So I use an action and then can end up anywhere in the circle.

Anzu:Is that how that works?

Gamemaster:Correct.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Anzu:Can I be on any of the green squares?

Gamemaster:Any of the green squares.

Anzu:Excellent.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:When you teleport in, you do notice that there was actually another guy that you just couldn't see from the window because you guys were low on your perception.

Gamemaster:But you are now in the room.

Anzu:Uh, I didn't think any farther ahead than this moment.

Gamemaster:Okay?

Anzu:So, I guess we should cast a spell.

Johnny:you

Anzu:Uh, let's go big to start.

Anzu:Why not?

Anzu:Uh...

Anzu:I will look to the half-Giant and going to shout some insults at him.

Anzu:Call him ugly and dumb.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Anzu:But as I'm doing it, I kind of reach out with my mind into his and like...

Gamemaster:Classics.

Argyle:Oh.

Anzu:push the emotions of the insults in a little deeper than really they should.

Anzu:And I'm going to cast Blistering Invective.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Argyle:Oh.

Gamemaster:Okay, so he will make a will save.

Argyle:The hell is this?

Gamemaster:He fails the will save.

Johnny:Wow.

Anzu:All right, so he's going to take 2d6 persistent fire damage.

Anzu:And he's frightened one.

Gamemaster:You... You insult him so much he bursts into flames.

Anzu:Correct.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Okay, so he's frightened one and roll damage.

Gamemaster:If you click the roll damage button, I'll be able to drag the persistent fire damage onto him.

Benny:I'm not sure how much we want to blitz him down because I think he's the highest ranking person here.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Well, he is dazzled, clumsy, frightened, and currently on fire.

Benny:So you have the most info.

Argyle:We can also non-fatally attack him on top of this.

Benny:Maybe he'll be no harm then.

Benny:That's true.

Gamemaster:You cannot non-fatally set somebody on fire.

Argyle:Yeah.

Anzu:Well, the fire might be gone before, you know.

Johnny:i think we should take him out she's probably the most dangerous though like at least knock him down a little bit

Argyle:But he's going to

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Benny:Depends what he's...

Gamemaster:I just want to clarify.

Gamemaster:You can specify I'm making a non-lethal bludgeoning attack.

Gamemaster:You cannot specify I'm making a non-lethal flenzel the skin off of the person.

Gamemaster:Like, there are distinct sections.

Gamemaster:Anything else?

Benny:Let's see.

Anzu:I think I'm going to cast Shield because I have a final action.

Anzu:That's me.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:All right.

Gamemaster:That brings us to Benny.

Benny:There is...

Johnny:Okay.

Benny:An ideal spot.

Benny:I can pick anything, or are you going to randomly put me in the... This feels best.

Gamemaster:Anywhere in the, any of the green squares you can teleport to.

Gamemaster:for an action.

Argyle:That's good.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:I wanted the diagonal of that.

Benny:Okay.

Benny:Benny will materialize.

Benny:And he'll say, specifically to Hlarf, Hlarf?

Gamemaster:Hlarf.

Benny:We need to know where your boss is ASAP!

Gamemaster:Hlarf.

Benny:And then he will unleash the anger of a child on Bor-like Roundhat.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Hlarf will respond with, I'M WRONG!

Gamemaster:So.

Benny:Alright, Bor-like Roundhat.

Gamemaster:Uh, that hits.

Benny:Very nice.

Benny:Oh, I almost did the death thing.

Benny:Well, not the death thing, but the.

Benny:All right.

Benny:Sure, why not?

Benny:Also, this is double slice.

Benny:So I will be making the poly tool attack now.

Benny:This all looks correct.

Johnny:Or kill them.

Benny:Ooh.

Benny:Owie, owie.

Benny:He is now... On top of being clumsy, he is now enfeebled.

Argyle:This was non-lethal, right?

Benny:This is the boar.

Benny:This is lethal.

Gamemaster:Well, okay.

Argyle:Oh, for the board, for the board.

Benny:And the damage will be... 12.

Gamemaster:This was for... Okay, so let me apply the pick damage first.

Benny:Yes.

Gamemaster:And then we apply the crushing polytool damage.

Gamemaster:That was a critical hit.

Gamemaster:So he's already clumsy, but he's now also enfeebled.

Gamemaster:Because you have crushed him.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:And that is the turn.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Benny:Wait, interact is an action?

Gamemaster:And action.

Benny:OK.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Yeah, yeah.

Gamemaster:So you teleport.

Gamemaster:You yell at a man who's blind and on fire.

Gamemaster:You turn around, you take out a Giant bludgeon with a knife on the inside, and you immediately cave in a man's skull.

Gamemaster:He's okay, but there's a... Sorry, he's not dead, but there is a very obvious bludgeon-like dent in his forehead where you've cracked his skull in.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:Argyle, it's your turn.

Argyle:Argyle is going to come in rainbowed.

Gamemaster:Okay, Argyle appears on the table, by the looks of it.

Argyle:Yes.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Asserting dominance.

Argyle:He's going to look at Hlarf and start reading him his field trials, and he will say, you have a right to defend yourself.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Argyle:Note, this will not go peacefully for you if you do.

Argyle:And then I run and smack the boar as well.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Smack the board.

Johnny:I like that we're all jumping in, yelling a laugh, and then attacking the boar.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:We have to make a... Oh, wait, wait.

Argyle:Sorry.

Argyle:That was almost my battle accident.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:How do I add this to... There we go.

Argyle:Cool.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:No!

Argyle:Wrong thing.

Argyle:I'm trying to get it on my hotbars.

Gamemaster:One second.

Argyle:Sorry.

Gamemaster:Oh, yeah.

Argyle:I don't know how to bring it to the other one.

Gamemaster:You should, if you click on the sword to see the weapon, you should be able to drag that onto your hotbar.

Johnny:you you

Argyle:Oh, okay.

Argyle:Gotcha.

Argyle:I'll just click on the sword for now and do this in a moment.

Gamemaster:That works too.

Argyle:I think I'm targeting the guy.

Argyle:Yeah, I am.

Gamemaster:That'll hit.

Argyle:Hit!

Gamemaster:This poor dude's not going to have a chance to go because you're all teaming up on him.

Argyle:Just seven.

Argyle:I'm not using the greataxe.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Argyle:Oh, not that.

Argyle:I want to raise shield.

Argyle:I don't know how to do that.

Argyle:I'm assuming it's also in the short?

Gamemaster:I don't actually know where it is yet.

Argyle:Tana!

Anzu:Yeah, that's really... It's not in your actions?

Argyle:Where's the raise shield action?

Anzu:It's not...

Benny:you could go search like if you click if you click browse and then you and then you search raise shield

Argyle:I don't see...

Gamemaster:I might be able to... You might just not have... One second.

Johnny:Amen.

Gamemaster:One second.

Gamemaster:I've given you the Raise a Shield action.

Argyle:Cool, cool, cool.

Gamemaster:You should now have a Raise a Shield-like action when you click the sword, and then you can hit the play button.

Argyle:No, that's in my... And that's in the... Where?

Gamemaster:In the sword.

Argyle:Sword.

Gamemaster:In the sword.

Argyle:Oh, okay.

Argyle:Cool!

Argyle:I will raise shield.

Argyle:My shield is raised.

Gamemaster:Your shield is raised.

Gamemaster:Which means your AC is ridiculous now.

Argyle:Yes.

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:you see this gigantic shield come up.

Gamemaster:Now it's all of the gang members' turns.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Argyle:And he's now a wall.

Gamemaster:The shield that Argyle purchased is as tall as he is.

Gamemaster:It is big enough for him to take cover behind in the middle of combat.

Johnny:That's wild.

Argyle:Other people can as well.

Gamemaster:Correct.

Johnny:Even better.

Gamemaster:Other people can take cover behind Argyle's shield while he's holding it.

Johnny:What is this?

Gamemaster:Ridiculous.

Argyle:It's a fortress shield.

Gamemaster:It's a fortress shield.

Argyle:So I get a plus three to my AC instead.

Johnny:Oh.

Johnny:Whoa.

Gamemaster:It gives you a minus 10 to your speed.

Gamemaster:And if you don't have the proper strength requirements, it takes two actions to lift.

Gamemaster:So, you know, it's fine.

Gamemaster:It's rat-like roundhat number two's turn.

Gamemaster:He's on the couch.

Gamemaster:He's drunk, but he sees a brawl.

Gamemaster:How many actions is it?

Gamemaster:That's two actions.

Gamemaster:Okay, so if it's going to be two actions to get to Benny, he's not going to do that.

Johnny:Org.

Gamemaster:Oh, actually, wait, no.

Gamemaster:He can get to Benny, and then Benny will be flanked, because Benny will be between him and Hlarf.

Benny:No!

Benny:Whatever will I do?

Johnny:No, Benjamin.

Benny:I shall reactive strike.

Gamemaster:Yeah, absolutely, that's fine.

Benny:And we'll do it to pick.

Benny:It really just rolled over the 19 very slowly.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I'm sorry.

Benny:That's fine.

Gamemaster:Okay, so you miss, unfortunately, but he is going to attempt to punish you for the attack anyway.

Gamemaster:He spent one action to run over.

Gamemaster:He's going to spend another action to just wear rat, claw at you.

Gamemaster:Actually, no, maybe I'll try and bite you instead.

Gamemaster:I'll try and bite you instead.

Gamemaster:That seems fun.

Gamemaster:Oh, I rolled so bad.

Gamemaster:Does an 11 hit?

Benny:no not even close oh okay that's

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Well, I won't try a short sword attack as well.

Gamemaster:Oh, never mind, I crit.

Argyle:That would have only hit Argyle by one.

Johnny:That's insane.

Gamemaster:He does have sneak attack, so he's going to deal 26 points of damage to you as he stabs you with the short sword.

Benny:Fair enough.

Gamemaster:But that is the end of his turn.

Gamemaster:It's Hlarf's turn.

Gamemaster:I think Hlarf is going to go for Argyle.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Hlarf is on fire.

Gamemaster:Hlarf is going to try and punch you.

Gamemaster:Nothing fancy.

Gamemaster:Hlarf doesn't do anything special.

Gamemaster:He just... Oh.

Gamemaster:Why did that?

Gamemaster:Oh, he's dazzled.

Gamemaster:He tries to punch you and he misses.

Gamemaster:Just straight up.

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Holy, when does the dazzle go away?

Gamemaster:How does the dazzle go away?

Johnny:It only lasts for one round.

Gamemaster:It lasts for one round.

Gamemaster:Okay, so if you don't sustain it on your turn, it will go away.

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:He doesn't have much to do, because he has literally two actions, and they are punch and shoot.

Gamemaster:So he's going to try punch again.

Gamemaster:And if that doesn't work, he's going to try punch a third time.

Gamemaster:Okay, so I succeeded the flat check, but then I critically missed the actual attack.

Benny:Thank you.

Johnny:Hi.

Gamemaster:So this is going poorly.

Argyle:I love seeing a 13 critically miss.

Gamemaster:That's crazy.

Johnny:Oh no!

Gamemaster:I critically succeeded on the concealment check, and then I critically missed the attack.

Argyle:Argyle looks like a divine entity showing up in a rainbow with this massive shield standing on a table, but he can't see it because he's dazzled.

Gamemaster:Hlarf does nothing.

Benny:No.

Argyle:I look nine foot tall.

Johnny:It's just the gift I dropped in chatter.

Benny:Hlarf.

Gamemaster:Hlarf takes five points of fire damage and critically fails the attempt to put out the fire, so he stays on fire.

Benny:Hlarf.

Gamemaster:But it is the end of his turn, so he's no longer frightened.

Benny:Hlarf.

Benny:Hlarf is fully convinced that he is dreaming.

Benny:He's like, I'm punching slow.

Benny:They're not hitting.

Benny:I'm on fire.

Benny:What is this?

Johnny:Imagine you spend the night drinking and all of a sudden a rainbow falls out of the sky, then a bird, then a child, then a knight with a shield ten feet tall.

Benny:I imagine... Have you guys seen the virtual blessings from... I mean, it's an old TikTok where he's just like, I bless you, and then the thing just... He's just like, a rainbow's here, and then a bird appears, and then just fucking blesses him.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Johnny:The bird says something so mean, he lights on fire.

Benny:Anzu is a sleep paralysis demon.

Johnny:Hi, bird.

Benny:You little dummy.

Argyle:Mind bird.

Benny:You dummy!

Benny:His heart rate goes up.

Benny:He's like, I think I'm dying.

Benny:What the fuck?

Gamemaster:Or like Roundhat2 is going to do a boar charge at Benny.

Johnny:Oh, no.

Benny:Oh my god.

Gamemaster:Oh wait, actually, yeah, no, he's going to do a boar charge at Benny.

Johnny:Oh, no, Benny.

Argyle:Thank you.

Benny:I'm going to have to put all of it into stealing someone's life for us next turn.

Gamemaster:Okay, so he gets the boar charge, and then he's going to attempt to gore you with his tusk.

Gamemaster:Okay, that hits.

Benny:Oh.

Gamemaster:Okay, so you are going to take ten points of piercing damage, and I need you to attempt this fort save.

Gamemaster:You successfully ward off the Curse of the Wereboar.

Benny:What the fuck?

Benny:I thought I was going to be knocked over.

Benny:What do you mean curse of the wereboar?

Benny:I didn't think that was in the fucking first hundred things that could have happened.

Johnny:creature in here

Gamemaster:You didn't think there was going to be a Curse of the Werewolf?

Anzu:Yeah, Josh, that was not right of you to say that.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry, he's also... You guys did not actually fight all that many werecreatures in the last campaign, okay?

Benny:No.

Argyle:Josh told me there'd be no more vampires, but werecreatures, I guess, are fully back.

Gamemaster:You avoided a fight with a group of werewolves.

Gamemaster:And that's it.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:Mm hmm.

Gamemaster:You were thinking about him, but you never fought him.

Anzu:Yeah, but they lived rent-free in our brains for the whole campaign.

Gamemaster:And so now you're fighting.

Argyle:No, they... They tried to... They fought us once, remember?

Gamemaster:Wear boars, wear mice, and wear crocodiles.

Gamemaster:Okay?

Argyle:Outside the observatory.

Argyle:They tracked us down like idiots.

Gamemaster:Oh, yeah.

Gamemaster:They did do that.

Gamemaster:It didn't work out well for him.

Gamemaster:Anyway, he attempts to...

Argyle:Like, they got a lot stronger.

Gamemaster:This boar attempts to stab the nine-year-old after goring him on the tusk, and he misses.

Gamemaster:So that brings us to the other boar, who is in a very bad situation right now.

Johnny:This guy.

Gamemaster:I'm going to roll a d4 if it's even.

Gamemaster:Why wouldn't I roll a d2?

Gamemaster:If it's a one, I'm attacking Argyle.

Gamemaster:If it's a two, it's Benny.

Gamemaster:I'm going for Argyle.

Argyle:Come on.

Gamemaster:Okay, we're going to attempt, he's also going to attempt to gore you with his tusk.

Gamemaster:I rolled really well, so that does actually hit.

Argyle:Stupid.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:You do have to get hit sometimes, unless you're shield blocking.

Gamemaster:So it's nine points of damage, you can hit the block button and it'll automatically apply to the shield.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Which is ridiculous that you just don't take any damage.

Argyle:But it didn't hurt me.

Gamemaster:But you do still need to make this Fortitude save against the Curse of the Wereboar.

Johnny:The curse of the werewolf.

Argyle:It didn't hit the shield.

Gamemaster:Doesn't matter.

Gamemaster:You succeed.

Argyle:That is great.

Anzu:oh geez

Argyle:There we go.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I mean...

Argyle:Argyle doesn't even notice.

Argyle:He's holding his shield up and still looking at Hlarf.

Gamemaster:There are benefits of the Curse of the Wereboar.

Gamemaster:You get boar empathy for free.

Gamemaster:So... I'm going to attempt to stab you, and then I'm going to attempt to stab you again.

Gamemaster:Yeah, no, they both miss.

Gamemaster:So that's the end of his turn.

Argyle:Missed by 20.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's ridiculous.

Anzu:Crazy.

Gamemaster:How long does crushing last?

Gamemaster:Until the end of your next turn?

Gamemaster:Okay, so he remains enfeebled.

Benny:Mm hmm.

Gamemaster:Johnny, it's your turn.

Johnny:Uh, yes, Johnny will appear in the room, uh, and the rainbow will kind of swirl into him as he appears, like, stepping down off of Argyle's massive shield, uh, next to him.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Good entrance.

Johnny:Uh, gotta make an entrance.

Johnny:Then, uh, which one of these guys is, uh, Anzu eyeing up, does it look like?

Anzu:Anzu is eyeing up everybody right now.

Argyle:I love this terrorist of a bird we have.

Gamemaster:Ooh.

Benny:Oh.

Johnny:Oh, God!

Johnny:Well, we're already... We're already beating up Hlarf, so as I step down, I will just yell out at Hlarf, uh, Where's your boss?

Johnny:Looks like it's open season!

Johnny:And I will use Bonema on this fella.

Johnny:Make a diplomacy check with my new glasses of sociability.

Argyle:I'd love to see Tanner's character in the fourth campaign.

Argyle:He's just a full-fledged torturer.

Johnny:Josh, in the 31 against Hlarf,

Anzu:Are you saying that over the course of the campaigns, I have gone down in moral standing?

Gamemaster:That's a critical success.

Benny:thank you

Argyle:You're just going to have a backstory of just like, he tortured prisoners in magical Guantanamo Bay.

Argyle:None of his prisoners can even attend trial.

Anzu:Who we killing next, boys?

Johnny:amazing can i apply this to him uh he's been bone mode so he uh takes a minus three status penalty to perception and will saves for one minute unless he takes an action to try and retort and then i will just

Gamemaster:Yep.

Argyle:That's so embarrassing.

Gamemaster:He has to spend an action to say no you and then it wears off.

Argyle:To try.

Argyle:Yes, to try.

Gamemaster:To try to say no you.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Ridiculous.

Johnny:Yeah, because it's a crit, you can try.

Johnny:Then I will use a lingering composition performance check.

Gamemaster:This guy has a minus two charisma.

Gamemaster:He's never going to succeed to get rid of it.

Johnny:And I believe a 28 is a crit because the level base DC is 18.

Gamemaster:Correct.

Johnny:So then this will let my courageous anthem that is just me yelling out the lyrics to Adele's Skyfall will last for a good long while.

Johnny:Four rounds.

Anzu:I'm gonna apply it to myself.

Gamemaster:You don't need to.

Johnny:Yeah, Josh, this says that I do not have permission to apply it.

Gamemaster:Don't do that.

Johnny:Apparently not.

Gamemaster:Oh, you don't have permission to apply it to yourself?

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Oh, wait, let's see.

Johnny:Never mind, I did it.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:I already have it.

Gamemaster:I'm going to remove it from Anzu.

Argyle:Why'd you remove it from everyone?

Gamemaster:There we go.

Argyle:There we go.

Gamemaster:It's back now.

Argyle:Get back.

Johnny:And that is my turn.

Johnny:That's all three of my actions.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:It's the crocodile's turn.

Johnny:This guy.

Gamemaster:You've arranged yourselves in such a way that he actually can't get Johnny flat-footed, but he can step so that Argyle is now just squished.

Argyle:Go for it.

Argyle:They're squished in here with me.

Gamemaster:Probably.

Gamemaster:It's ridiculous.

Johnny:This is crazy melee right now.

Gamemaster:He's going to attempt to grab you.

Gamemaster:Oh, never mind.

Gamemaster:He can't do that until he successfully strikes you.

Gamemaster:So he's going to attempt to successfully strike you with a jaw attack.

Gamemaster:He's just going to try to bite your head.

Gamemaster:He's going to miss.

Argyle:Idiot.

Gamemaster:What if he tries again?

Gamemaster:He's going to miss that one, too.

Argyle:Come on.

Gamemaster:That's the end of his turn.

Gamemaster:So the thing about werecreatures is they do a lot of physical attacks.

Gamemaster:So if they miss the physical attacks, then it's fine.

Gamemaster:It's the rat-like roundhat's turn.

Gamemaster:We're all the way back up to the top of the initiative order.

Gamemaster:He is kind of just going to lean over in his chair, seize the clusterfuck that's going on, and is just going to try and shoot Anzu, I think.

Gamemaster:Because he's just kind of standing there out in the open.

Anzu:Ouch.

Gamemaster:So he's going to attempt... Because he... Yeah, none of you are flat-footed.

Gamemaster:Yeah, okay.

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, the gun does not confer the curse of the were-rat.

Gamemaster:But that's whatever.

Johnny:Do they all have a curse?

Gamemaster:Yeah, they're all were-creatures.

Gamemaster:That's a 26?

Anzu:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Gamemaster:Three points of piercing damage.

Gamemaster:This is the weakest gun I've ever seen.

Johnny:The pea shooter.

Gamemaster:That's crazy.

Gamemaster:I think he shoots you and then immediately realizes it does no damage.

Gamemaster:And so he's going to spend his next action just joining the fray.

Gamemaster:He's joining the fray.

Gamemaster:He's over here now.

Gamemaster:He's attacking Johnny.

Johnny:Oh no.

Gamemaster:For his third action, he's going to attempt... He's just going to try and stab you with a dagger.

Johnny:I yell, ew, rat.

Gamemaster:Wow, that's racist.

Anzu:I was actually thinking the same thing, but...

Gamemaster:He misses.

Argyle:Ha ha ha.

Benny:Oh, shit.

Benny:All right.

Johnny:I yell it just like that.

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Gamemaster:Johnny, did you sustain your Rainbow Zen spell?

Johnny:Nope, it's gone.

Gamemaster:Okay, let's get rid of that then.

Gamemaster:And that means LARP is no longer dazzled.

Johnny:got everything else going on there.

Johnny:I'm scared!

Gamemaster:Yeah, no, he's still not having a good time.

Gamemaster:He can just see now.

Argyle:We should probably start attacking him.

Gamemaster:It's Anzu's turn.

Anzu:First, I'm going to unleash my psyche.

Benny:Oh, I had two puns queued up, but I didn't want to interrupt anyone.

Gamemaster:Absolutely, people love it when you do that.

Argyle:Anzu is part of MKUltra.

Benny:No wonder the gun did so little damage.

Benny:It was birdshot.

Benny:And what's Anzu's last name?

Argyle:You're on the darker side of the internet than me.

Benny:Do we know Anzu's last name yet?

Anzu:Uh, I don't know if I've said it out loud, but I probably would have.

Anzu:It's Koreshi.

Benny:Oh, I thought it was Grabe.

Benny:Abu Grabe, Anzu Grabe.

Benny:Abu Grabe is one of the torture sites that the US got in trouble for.

Anzu:Oh.

Gamemaster:Of course.

Johnny:Yes.

Benny:That's the one with the picture of the dude standing on the box with the hood, and they hooked up electrical wires to him.

Gamemaster:That's what Anzu's doing right now to Hlarf.

Benny:It's infamous.

Anzu:Josh, it's not letting me place the second circle, but the other one is going for Hlarf and the crocodile.

Benny:It was a Lupe Fiasco lyric.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Hlarf and the crocodile, like, right there?

Johnny:Yes.

Anzu:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Cool.

Anzu:So the two of them and the three of these guys down here all got to make this fort save.

Gamemaster:Oh my god.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:The croc fails.

Gamemaster:Okay, the croc fails, the boar fails, one of the rats fails, one of the rats succeeds, and the Hlarf critically succeeds.

Argyle:you

Johnny:are

Anzu:Well, that's a bummer.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:Hlarf doesn't care about your telekinetic rend.

Anzu:Why does the map keep moving?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:What are you doing to make the map move?

Anzu:I don't know.

Anzu:I do 11 points of damage.

Anzu:It's a mix of slashing and bludgeoning.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Alrighty.

Gamemaster:They all appear to take full damage.

Gamemaster:They don't have resistance to any of the stuff.

Anzu:Well, then he's going to get hit with a Psy Burst.

Gamemaster:But yeah, that is... You hit so many of them.

Benny:you you

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:The boar in between Argyle and Benny is almost dead.

Gamemaster:He's hanging on.

Gamemaster:Anything else?

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:He has to make a reflex save.

Anzu:Yes.

Gamemaster:He gets an 18.

Anzu:I think my DC is 19.

Anzu:He takes 5 points of bludgeoning damage.

Gamemaster:Your DC is 19, so he fails.

Johnny:mind

Gamemaster:He would have succeeded were he not drunk.

Benny:you you

Gamemaster:Okay, he takes 5 points of bludgeoning damage, and he will use his reaction to use ferocity, which avoids being knocked out.

Gamemaster:But he is wounded.

Anzu:That's effed up.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I'm sorry.

Anzu:With my final action, I will calculate threats.

Gamemaster:Absolutely, there are a bunch of them.

Argyle:He has paranoia.

Johnny:It starts pinging everybody in the room.

Anzu:And I'll apply it to myself.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:It then pings Benny, Johnny, and Argyle too.

Anzu:And I don't know how to get rid of the circles.

Gamemaster:Benny, it's your turn.

Anzu:That's it.

Gamemaster:Oh, I can remove the circles.

Gamemaster:The circles are gone forever.

Benny:We've got a rat here and a boar here.

Benny:I want to hit... I want to do as much damage as possible to one person.

Argyle:Why don't we want to attack the big guy, do you think?

Argyle:Yeah, but we can just non-lethally hurt the Giant.

Johnny:I think we just want to keep one of them alive.

Johnny:Take out everybody.

Argyle:I'm worried that he's going to do more damage than the other guys, but I don't know.

Johnny:No, I agree.

Anzu:I've been going for him which is fair.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:Take out the Giant.

Benny:So whoever I can hit.

Johnny:I mean, this one guy is a bit, like, almost dead.

Argyle:I could

Argyle:swing at him.

Argyle:Yeah, I can swing at him if you want someone else.

Benny:Yeah, but I'm not going to do a lot of damage to him, because he's almost dead.

Johnny:Oh.

Benny:Yeah, I think this rat that is within my reach.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:Graphic reach.

Benny:Do I want to invest in the rat long term, or do I want to?

Benny:I don't think I want to.

Benny:But I think I have to.

Benny:So I will intimidating strike the rat.

Argyle:Go for the hearth.

Gamemaster:Which one?

Gamemaster:That one?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:Yeah, there's only one that's in my domain.

Gamemaster:You know, that makes sense.

Gamemaster:Go for it.

Gamemaster:Make a melee strike if you hit and deal damage.

Gamemaster:He's frightened.

Benny:Got to be shitting me.

Gamemaster:I'm not.

Benny:That's not enough to crit.

Gamemaster:It's not.

Benny:God damn it.

Benny:All right, damage.

Johnny:you

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay, he takes ten points of damage and is frightened one.

Argyle:I can heal you, Mike.

Benny:Okay.

Argyle:If you want to save it.

Benny:Yeah, that would be ideal.

Benny:In that case, I am going to... He's frightened one.

Gamemaster:Hm?

Benny:So we are going to attempt the poly tool hit on him.

Gamemaster:That hits.

Benny:Very nice.

Gamemaster:Another 10 points of damage.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:He is bloodied.

Argyle:a risky surgery because I'm scared of killing you.

Gamemaster:Alrighty.

Gamemaster:Anything else, Benny?

Benny:Uh, no, that's it.

Gamemaster:Okay, Argo.

Argyle:Cool.

Argyle:I will attempt a medicine check.

Gamemaster:Go for it.

Johnny:It's a truck.

Argyle:Medicine.

Argyle:Treat wounds.

Argyle:No, risky.

Argyle:I don't want to kill the child.

Argyle:Excess.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:Okay.

Gamemaster:Play your nine points of healing.

Gamemaster:What else are you doing?

Argyle:Now I will strike this guy that's mortal.

Argyle:Dead.

Gamemaster:That hits because he's clumsy.

Argyle:Hell yeah.

Anzu:Okay, okay, we're getting somewhere

Argyle:No!

Gamemaster:Six points.

Gamemaster:So he's at one hit point right now.

Gamemaster:He can use a reaction to not die, but he's already used his reaction this round.

Gamemaster:So unfortunately, he cannot reuse ferocity again, and he perishes.

Johnny:Get more.

Argyle:And I look at Hlarf and I say, you did this!

Argyle:You're false champions.

Argyle:It is your turn.

Argyle:And I raise my shield.

Gamemaster:Glorf says, I just saw you kill him.

Gamemaster:He has a rat-like round hat to his turn.

Johnny:No, you didn't.

Argyle:This is literally, I posted the meme in chat where he shoots the guy and goes, why did he die?

Johnny:Why would he do this?

Johnny:Step up, get flanked.

Argyle:Yeah, my heals are a lot better when I risky surgery because then I crit, but sorry.

Gamemaster:He...

Gamemaster:I think he will step.

Benny:Okay.

Gamemaster:He's going to step forward so that he can attack Argyle while Argyle is flat-footed.

Gamemaster:So he did one step, and then he's going to attempt to just bite you.

Gamemaster:This one does.

Gamemaster:I'm really relying on getting a very good roll.

Gamemaster:But, fine.

Gamemaster:Nope.

Gamemaster:Two misses.

Gamemaster:Great.

Gamemaster:It's Hlarf's turn.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:I think Hlarf has to go for Benny.

Gamemaster:Oh, I know.

Gamemaster:Argyle is also pinned between him and the other rat.

Gamemaster:He could go for Argyle.

Gamemaster:I think he's mad at Argyle because Argyle keeps talking to him.

Gamemaster:And he doesn't like that.

Argyle:Good, that's why your guy was talking to him.

Gamemaster:I rolled very well.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:That is a 33.

Argyle:That's so sad.

Gamemaster:Which is a crit against you.

Gamemaster:Because you're flat-footed.

Argyle:It's like... I thought... I'm flat-footed to him.

Gamemaster:It didn't apply to the flat-footed condition, but you are flat-footed.

Argyle:Oh, because he's big.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you are.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:He's big and he's got you up against this rat.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:There's the diagonal.

Argyle:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gamemaster:That's great.

Gamemaster:You can still shield block it, of course.

Gamemaster:But I will roll the damage.

Gamemaster:His punches are deadly.

Gamemaster:So you're going to take 37 points of damage.

Anzu:Oh my god.

Benny:wait what what made this a crit oh i see yeah

Johnny:Oh, that's a lot.

Anzu:Can your shield take that?

Anzu:I guess it has to.

Argyle:We're going to find out.

Gamemaster:He's flat-footed because Argyle is between him and this rat.

Argyle:It's because he's big, so I guess it's the diagonal.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:I click the block and it doesn't... Yeah.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, Argyle is squashed between every character in the entire room.

Gamemaster:So... So if you click the block button... Yeah, it should if you click the block button.

Argyle:It doesn't let me... Yeah.

Argyle:Does it do anything?

Argyle:No, I keep clicking it.

Argyle:Oh, let me try.

Gamemaster:Oh.

Gamemaster:Alright, one second.

Gamemaster:Why is that not... One second.

Gamemaster:Why is that not working?

Gamemaster:You just already have your shield raised?

Gamemaster:What happens if you just click the damage button?

Gamemaster:I'm not sure, so... Yeah, just apply the 37 damage.

Argyle:That doesn't work.

Argyle:So I can just subtract nine and then I'll just do it myself.

Gamemaster:That's weird.

Gamemaster:Yeah, so just give yourself 9 and then apply that damage to your shield as well.

Johnny:Yes.

Gamemaster:Anyway, your shield should have also taken the 28 points of damage.

Argyle:I know I'm doing that.

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, that does mean it's broken.

Argyle:Yes.

Argyle:Wait, no, it should be at 48.

Argyle:That's not broken then, right?

Gamemaster:Oh, one second.

Argyle:I did the math wrong.

Gamemaster:It should be at 51, right?

Argyle:Oh, okay.

Johnny:you you

Gamemaster:Or do I not?

Gamemaster:Oh, no, 76, not 79.

Gamemaster:I apologize.

Gamemaster:Yeah, it should be at 48.

Argyle:It's 48.

Argyle:Cool.

Gamemaster:It should be at 48, which is not broken, so you're fine.

Argyle:I knew we should have been hitting this stupid guy.

Gamemaster:Okay, that was his first attack.

Gamemaster:I think he makes a second attack on you.

Gamemaster:He doesn't have spells or anything.

Gamemaster:He's just going to keep trying to punch you to a bloody pulp.

Argyle:Oh no, let's go for the rats.

Johnny:All right, we'll focus on Polarf.

Gamemaster:That hits, and then I'm just going to roll the third attack because he'd keep punching.

Gamemaster:That critically misses.

Gamemaster:So one more attack on you, that is going to be an additional 12 points of damage.

Benny:It's just an FYI.

Johnny:How you doing, Argyle?

Argyle:I'm at two hit points.

Anzu:We are in a bad way at the moment.

Johnny:Okay.

Anzu:But at least he takes seven points of fire damage.

Gamemaster:He does!

Gamemaster:He takes 7 points of fire damage.

Gamemaster:What do you mean, Hlarf has not raised their shield?

Gamemaster:Of course he hasn't, he doesn't have one.

Gamemaster:What are you talking about, Foundry?

Gamemaster:Okay, make a recovery check.

Gamemaster:Oh, he succeeds!

Gamemaster:He's no longer on fire.

Anzu:God.

Anzu:This is not going well.

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:It is the Boar-like Roundhat 2's turn.

Gamemaster:I think it's still just you guys all piled into the center of this room, so we're just gonna keep getting a bunch of attacks off on you.

Gamemaster:Let's try and gore you.

Gamemaster:That hits, because you're off guard.

Gamemaster:Oh, oh yeah, that's it.

Gamemaster:That wasn't a board charge, but it would hit even if I had to play the board charge.

Johnny:Thank you.

Benny:I fight off Ruby Madness.

Gamemaster:That's 10 points of damage.

Gamemaster:And there's a fort save for you.

Gamemaster:You succeed.

Gamemaster:And then we try and stab you.

Gamemaster:It went really well.

Gamemaster:That just barely hits.

Gamemaster:Seven points of damage.

Benny:Benny is unconscious.

Gamemaster:And he is unconscious.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:So then he's going to walk over here.

Gamemaster:All right, it's your turn.

Johnny:All right.

Johnny:Yeah, I'm going to pull out this spell scroll that I bought, which is... Oh, sent that twice.

Argyle:I think it's shell scroll.

Johnny:This is a Soothe spell scroll, second rank.

Johnny:So I will cast Soothe.

Gamemaster:Okay, I can give you... Sure.

Gamemaster:Do you have the spell available to cast?

Gamemaster:You do.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:I do.

Johnny:I'll just cast it.

Gamemaster:So just cast it, and then I'll refund your spell slot.

Johnny:I'm going to cast this.

Johnny:Who goes first between you two?

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:I'm going to cast this on Benny to get Benny up.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Argyle, can you heal yourself?

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:Great.

Argyle:As long as I get to go.

Johnny:Here.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:Benny, you get 26 points of healing.

Benny:And where do I move in the initiative?

Gamemaster:Uh, you... Yes, you do.

Benny:Before the boar-like two?

Gamemaster:One second.

Gamemaster:Okay, so you are still prone and you are wounded, but you have been healed and soothed.

Gamemaster:Which gives you a bonus against mental effects.

Johnny:You can't flourish cast from a scroll, right?

Gamemaster:Nope.

Gamemaster:It's the same as, like, regular casting holes.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:It was one action, but you can't cast another Flutter spell.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:I'm sorry.

Johnny:Can I still cast a... So that was two actions?

Johnny:That was one action.

Gamemaster:That was one action, to cast Tooth.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:And then can I cast a regular two-action spell, or I can't?

Gamemaster:Um... No...

Benny:you

Gamemaster:No.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:Because otherwise... The point of the rule is to not allow you to cast additional spells.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:That's fine.

Johnny:Then... I will...

Argyle:Thank you.

Johnny:One action, demoralize slarf.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Try to demoralize the slarf.

Gamemaster:Roll an intimidation check against his will, DC.

Gamemaster:It's very low right now because it's been modded.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I mean, that's critical success.

Johnny:Slarf.

Gamemaster:He's framed, too.

Johnny:Excellent.

Johnny:And then my last... No, wait.

Johnny:One, two.

Johnny:Okay, my third one.

Johnny:I will distracting performance and try to create a diversion to hide young Benny.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:Okay.

Johnny:But it's with performance because I'm me.

Gamemaster:Yeah, roll a performance check.

Johnny:So that's against everyone's perception DC.

Gamemaster:Yes, so he has become hidden to everybody in the room, effectively.

Johnny:Is that a critical success against anyone's perception DCs?

Gamemaster:Yes.

Johnny:Then I get a mythic point because of demagogues calling.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:And so Benny is now hidden from everyone in this room.

Gamemaster:Nice.

Argyle:Oh yes.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Johnny:That's my turn.

Gamemaster:OK.

Gamemaster:All right.

Gamemaster:Next up is the croc.

Gamemaster:I think the croc's going for you, Johnny.

Gamemaster:You're doing stuff.

Johnny:Mark, do you have a reaction?

Gamemaster:I'm going to attempt to bite you.

Gamemaster:I crit.

Argyle:What'd you say?

Johnny:Do you have a reaction?

Gamemaster:I'm going to take 20 points of damage.

Argyle:No, because I raised my shield.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:I understand.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:you you

Johnny:I failed.

Gamemaster:You also have to attempt this fort safely.

Gamemaster:Failed.

Gamemaster:You get cursed by the curse of the werecrocodile.

Johnny:Oh, no, I'm cursed by the curse of the where croc.

Anzu:It's okay, you get crocodile sympathy.

Johnny:What does that mean?

Johnny:Oh, do I get cropped up?

Gamemaster:No crocodile empathy.

Anzu:Oh, sorry.

Johnny:Josh, do I get cool clock powers?

Gamemaster:which is you get the ability to communicate with alligators, caimans, and crocodiles.

Anzu:Crikey!

Benny:you

Johnny:My accent becomes less clear.

Gamemaster:Great.

Gamemaster:It's going to spend its follow-up action to grab you or attempt to do so.

Gamemaster:I didn't roll very well there.

Gamemaster:Oh, I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:That should have a minus 5 there because that's an attack.

Gamemaster:So, I don't think a 12 succeeds.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:So he'll just attempt to slap you with his tail as well.

Johnny:This seems like a great.

Gamemaster:I rolled well.

Anzu:Oh my god.

Johnny:That does it.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:You get tail attacked.

Johnny:This doesn't look a great many.

Gamemaster:5 points of bludgeoning damage.

Argyle:Who's he going for?

Johnny:Good.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:It's the rat's turn.

Benny:Jesus.

Gamemaster:Now who does he go for?

Gamemaster:You guys are not looking good.

Gamemaster:I think he's going for Johnny.

Johnny:Mm hmm.

Gamemaster:Johnny.

Argyle:Hmm.

Gamemaster:Johnny's directly in front of him.

Gamemaster:Oh, I rolled so well.

Johnny:Oh, I'm going to drop.

Argyle:Well, let the fates be.

Argyle:The dice did not like us tonight, my friends.

Johnny:Oh, I'm out.

Gamemaster:You were going to take 22 points of damage.

Gamemaster:You're down.

Argyle:Anzu, you have soothe, right?

Anzu:Holy crap.

Gamemaster:He's going for Argyle next.

Gamemaster:Rolled well again, but I still miss.

Argyle:Alright.

Argyle:Oof.

Gamemaster:And one more attack on Argyle.

Gamemaster:Misses.

Argyle:Oof.

Gamemaster:All right.

Argyle:Get up, Johnny.

Anzu:So, yeah, I'll cast a first level soothe.

Anzu:on Johnny.

Anzu:Hey, big numbers, big numbers.

Johnny:We'll take that healing and become free.

Anzu:Now that was one action.

Anzu:But I can't cast a two action cantrip.

Anzu:so i will instead send a psy burst out i don't like its chances against the rats so

Gamemaster:Uh, correct.

Benny:Thank you.

Johnny:That it will save?

Gamemaster:Oh, I do want to note, I'm sorry, Johnny went down, so his aura does go away.

Johnny:No, it doesn't.

Johnny:The Courageous Anthem?

Gamemaster:It's concentration.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:I don't think it is.

Gamemaster:Courageous Anthem is definitely concentration.

Johnny:Oh, so it is.

Gamemaster:It's not sustained, so you don't have to take an action to keep it going, but it's concentrate, so you need to be able to think.

Johnny:Oh, I understand.

Anzu:I guess Hlarf has their reflex saves really bounced right now, so I'll send a sideburst his way.

Anzu:That's a fail.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Hlarf gets a 14.

Gamemaster:Five points of bludgeoning damage.

Anzu:I'm going to move.

Gamemaster:Okay, what you doing?

Anzu:Oh, hold on.

Anzu:I'm on target right now.

Anzu:OK, so you know how I was talking about the map moving before?

Anzu:Something has happened where if my cursor goes towards the edge of the screen, it starts to scroll the map, and it's very irritating.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry, I don't know what's doing that.

Anzu:Yeah, I don't feel like it used to do that.

Anzu:But anyway, I'm going to attempt to move... Why won't it let me move?

Gamemaster:Are you in measure mode?

Anzu:No.

Argyle:Thank you.

Anzu:Uh...

Anzu:That was 10.

Anzu:And then... Yeah, yeah.

Gamemaster:Sorry, that was me moving you.

Anzu:Can you do that?

Gamemaster:Where do you want to?

Anzu:I don't know.

Gamemaster:Yeah, just tell me where you're trying to move to.

Gamemaster:Can you see where my cursor is?

Anzu:Yeah.

Anzu:Go that 15.

Gamemaster:okay okay yep okay okay let's return okay

Anzu:And then go down... I only have 25, so just the one more square.

Benny:you

Johnny:you

Anzu:And then put the boar back up.

Anzu:That's my turn.

Argyle:All right, I will attempt to treat wounds myself.

Argyle:Battle medicine, rather.

Argyle:OK.

Argyle:That's OK.

Johnny:Thank you.

Argyle:I will attempt to hero point that.

Argyle:Sorry.

Gamemaster:You should be able to right-click on the Medicine check and click Reroll with Mythic Point.

Argyle:Right click it.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:you you

Argyle:Great.

Gamemaster:Nice.

Argyle:Great.

Argyle:Play that.

Argyle:Then I will... I will do... Lay on hands!

Argyle:Healing!

Argyle:Myself!

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Johnny:Nice.

Argyle:Great.

Argyle:And then I will end my turn by raising my shield.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:All right.

Benny:you you

Argyle:And I get a mythic point because I critically succeeded on that.

Gamemaster:I mean, you haven't moved, so I think he's going to make an attack on you still.

Johnny:Hello.

Argyle:I don't know where my mythic, oh, there they are, cool.

Gamemaster:He's just going to try and stab you.

Gamemaster:We'll try two more stabs.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:Thank you.

Argyle:those numbers flown yep okay

Gamemaster:Yeah, he was doing so well last time.

Gamemaster:He tries three stabs and they all miss.

Gamemaster:It's Hlarf's turn.

Gamemaster:Um, Hlarf can only really go for Argyle because Benny is hidden to him.

Gamemaster:I guess Benny's just too short and he can't see him.

Gamemaster:Um, so we're going after Argyle.

Gamemaster:Uh, that's going to be a punch.

Gamemaster:Uh, that misses.

Gamemaster:You're supposed to be flat-footed, but even with the flat-footed, that still misses.

Johnny:you you

Gamemaster:Um, and then we're going to try two more punches.

Gamemaster:That last one was a crit, unfortunately.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Argyle:So why is it crit?

Argyle:It says 22 for me.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Anzu:You're off guard.

Gamemaster:You're off guard.

Argyle:But why is 22 crit?

Gamemaster:I rolled a 20.

Argyle:Oh, it doesn't show that.

Argyle:OK.

Gamemaster:Yeah, no, sorry.

Gamemaster:I rolled a 20, so it would have been just barely a hit, and then it got upgraded to a crit, so you're going to take 34 points of piercing damage.

Argyle:Yes.

Argyle:All right.

Argyle:Let's just.

Gamemaster:Oh, you can't shield block because you didn't... Oh, you did raise your shield.

Gamemaster:You can attempt to shield block if you want.

Argyle:Oh, but I thought you rolled the damage.

Argyle:I couldn't.

Gamemaster:What?

Argyle:If my shield breaks, I don't get the benefits of the AC, right?

Gamemaster:Correct.

Anzu:Correct.

Argyle:Yeah, so I'll just take that and go Unconscious.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Alright.

Gamemaster:You are unconscious.

Gamemaster:Then it's your turn.

Benny:OK.

Benny:Don't think I can do this sequence without standing.

Benny:So I'm going to have to stand.

Gamemaster:What?

Benny:Well, OK, I could.

Gamemaster:That's so suboptimal.

Benny:I could do this sequence without standing.

Benny:But I don't want to.

Benny:I need every ounce of luck.

Benny:So if I could.

Gamemaster:Okay, one action to stand up then.

Benny:Do I have to?

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:You're stood.

Johnny:Josh, can I make an argument that my courageous anthem should still be going?

Benny:I'm stood.

Benny:And I am going to... I'm a little limited on actions for this turn.

Benny:I am going to attack Larv with the pick.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Gamemaster:What is your argument?

Johnny:The sustain trait does exist, and it specifically says that if a sustainability is disrupted, then it ends.

Johnny:But the concentrate is just like a specific trait, and there are a lot of one-action things that only take a moment, that only take one action, that have the concentrate trait.

Johnny:So I would argue that by the fact that it doesn't have the sustain trait, but it does have a set amount of time, it should last that amount of time, because it doesn't specifically say it ends if I go unconscious versus things that have sustain.

Gamemaster:One second.

Gamemaster:I want to double check that the unconscious trait doesn't specify that you can't.

Johnny:Oh.

Benny:you you

Gamemaster:You know, my understanding was that you can't... One second.

Johnny:um you

Gamemaster:Yeah, you know what?

Gamemaster:Like, the normal rule is if a caster dies or is incapacitated, the spell remains in effect, and concentrate doesn't specify anything against it.

Gamemaster:It's to perform the action.

Gamemaster:So, fine.

Gamemaster:We'll reapply it.

Johnny:I think I have two rounds left.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Pull it up.

Argyle:That's just plus to hit, right?

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:You get a plus one.

Gamemaster:Do you also get plus one to damage there?

Gamemaster:Not bad.

Johnny:Attack rolls, damage rolls, and saves against fear.

Gamemaster:It's off guard.

Johnny:And also, I think because Benny's hidden, whoever he hits is off guard to him.

Gamemaster:That is correct.

Benny:Okay.

Gamemaster:That's how it works.

Gamemaster:That hits.

Benny:I knew this might happen.

Benny:I'm going to hero point.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:Good luck.

Gamemaster:Right click, re-roll.

Johnny:Nice.

Gamemaster:That turns it into a crit.

Anzu:Hmph.

Benny:very nice damage on the crit oh wait oh no no no no no this was not with the poly tool sorry this was with the pick yeah it's the same what

Argyle:Ooh.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Well, you rolled a 12 plus whatever your pick is.

Gamemaster:Is your pick also a plus?

Gamemaster:Okay, so then just do damage for the pick.

Gamemaster:I'm so sorry.

Benny:That's fucking crazy.

Benny:That is so, so absurd.

Benny:OK.

Benny:Yeah, why not?

Gamemaster:Hlarf takes 15 points of damage and is bloodied.

Benny:And then what that was, it's just not.

Benny:It's the worst thing.

Benny:Give me a second to think.

Benny:Yeah, I have to.

Benny:I'm going to drink of my foes.

Benny:And with the pick embedded in Hlarf, I will extract half of the damage that I did to him.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Heal seven.

Benny:What?

Gamemaster:Anything else?

Benny:No, that's all facts.

Gamemaster:Sorry, what, Argyle, what took you down?

Gamemaster:Was it Hlarf punching you, right?

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:I just need to move you in the initiative order.

Gamemaster:Benny, anything else?

Gamemaster:Okay, then that brings us to the boar.

Gamemaster:Does the boar follow Anzu?

Johnny:you you

Gamemaster:Or does he go for Johnny?

Gamemaster:I'm gonna roll a d4.

Gamemaster:If it's a four, then he's going for Anzu.

Benny:you you

Gamemaster:He's going for Anzu.

Gamemaster:That's one action.

Gamemaster:Second action for a dagger.

Gamemaster:Third action for a dagger.

Gamemaster:That's a crit.

Anzu:Less wow.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:You're going to take 14 points of piercing damage.

Argyle:Does he get... Because he moved, too.

Argyle:So he still gets three strikes?

Anzu:He only took two.

Gamemaster:That was his...

Argyle:Oh.

Gamemaster:Uh, yeah, no, he only took two.

Argyle:Damn.

Gamemaster:And that's the end of his turn.

Gamemaster:This is the croc's turn.

Gamemaster:I mean, Argyle's down, so he's going for Tommy.

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Gamemaster:Let's do a hatchet attack.

Johnny:It was far for rolling back to that crits.

Argyle:We face like 10 crits against us.

Argyle:There's only so much we can do.

Argyle:It's only so much.

Gamemaster:Uh, Mrs.?

Argyle:On an AC, on a high AC.

Johnny:Yeah.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:That hits.

Gamemaster:So let's roll damage.

Gamemaster:Seven points of slashing damage.

Gamemaster:And he attempts to grab you.

Gamemaster:Whatever this number is, this is his third attack, so just subtract 10 from what I actually roll.

Gamemaster:Oh, never mind, doesn't matter.

Gamemaster:Rolled a critical one.

Gamemaster:Johnny, it's your turn.

Johnny:Yeah, I will.

Argyle:If you got to run, don't worry about it.

Argyle:My next character will be an inquisition.

Argyle:An inquisitor.

Benny:Oh.

Argyle:A vengeful inquisitor.

Gamemaster:What are we doing?

Gamemaster:Oh, we're rewriting fate?

Johnny:Got to get out of this situation.

Benny:I'm just looking at reactions.

Benny:Looking at anything.

Johnny:Josh, I have a question.

Johnny:Argyle is unconscious.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Johnny:If I were to try and like... Does he count as a creature right now or is he an object?

Gamemaster:Nope.

Gamemaster:He is a creature.

Gamemaster:He'd have to be dead to count as an object.

Gamemaster:He's just unconscious right now.

Johnny:Okay.

Anzu:I guess we'll just have to kill him.

Gamemaster:What are you trying to do that distinction is important?

Johnny:I'm trying to rainbows end my way out of here and take him with me.

Gamemaster:Oh, yeah.

Gamemaster:No, you can't do that.

Gamemaster:Because he's the one that has to do the interact trait.

Anzu:Well, he's probably going to wake up pretty soon.

Gamemaster:Interact action.

Johnny:He's just got to be next to me when it happens.

Johnny:That's the thing.

Johnny:I have to be, how long does rainbows end at last actually?

Johnny:Concentrate, light, manipulate, mythic, occult, spirit.

Gamemaster:It lasts for a minute, but it's sustained.

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:You have to spend the action to keep it going.

Argyle:Do you have to be on this side of the rainbow?

Gamemaster:In order to teleport to the rainbow, you have to be adjacent to the caster.

Johnny:So this is a question about order of operations, Josh.

Anzu:Oh.

Benny:you

Johnny:If I go up, if I cast the spell,

Johnny:And then before Argyle... Sustained a trait.

Argyle:It's a real shame Anzu left.

Johnny:Sorry.

Johnny:Let me read the spell carefully.

Johnny:I have to be the last to go for everyone to get through.

Anzu:So, Johnny, you have to be the last one to go for us all to... Yikes.

Gamemaster:Correct.

Johnny:Spells duration.

Johnny:Stained up to one minute.

Johnny:Yeah, so I think if I fall unconscious, this spell ends.

Gamemaster:Yep, because we established that sustain.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:Next to me is both these rat-like Roundhats before Argyle.

Johnny:Fuck.

Johnny:If we can survive one more round, I can get us out, but otherwise...

Anzu:Maybe you just go.

Benny:Do you have any AoE damage or AoE healing?

Johnny:only have soothe.

Argyle:Well, part of the issue that I keep going down is that I am flanked and I can't unflank myself since I'm wedged in from everyone.

Johnny:You can... Okay.

Argyle:Oh, I didn't know that.

Gamemaster:I mean, you could... Argyle could have walked past Johnny.

Gamemaster:Or Benny.

Argyle:Oh, no, but I can't step past them.

Gamemaster:You can walk through... You can't step, but you can stride.

Argyle:Wait, I can't step past them because they're too far.

Argyle:Yeah, yeah.

Gamemaster:Exit is right here.

Johnny:Josh.

Johnny:Where is the exit of this room and do I have line of sight on it?

Gamemaster:I will say you do have line of sight on it.

Gamemaster:And of course, there is still the window out, which you also, I will say, can see past Hlarf.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:Okay, well, I'm not going to abandon everyone, but I am going to move.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Do we think these guys have attacks of opportunity?

Gamemaster:Very good.

Argyle:Well, they didn't take it on onto.

Argyle:I don't know about Croc.

Anzu:I wasn't by the croc, so he might...

Johnny:Yeah, I'm not gonna risk it.

Johnny:I am gonna cast Rainbow's End.

Johnny:I'm going to place it.

Johnny:I can't get all these guys, but I can't get both these guys.

Johnny:Okay, I'm going to place it right here.

Gamemaster:OK.

Johnny:And I'm going to FlourishCast it.

Johnny:So both these guys need to make the save.

Gamemaster:OK, so let's see.

Gamemaster:That is a failure and a critical failure.

Johnny:Both of them are dazzled and they take five points of spirit damage.

Gamemaster:Okay, so he takes five points.

Gamemaster:It's a basic save, so the other guy takes ten points of spirit damage, and they are both dazzled.

Johnny:Second action, I'm going to rainbows end myself over to here.

Gamemaster:Okay, sure.

Johnny:Third action.

Gamemaster:That's your second action.

Benny:you

Johnny:Sorry, I need to see that.

Johnny:Let's see how this works.

Johnny:needs to stay alive.

Johnny:I'm going to try and demoralize this boar menacing Anzu.

Gamemaster:23 is a success.

Benny:Thank you.

Johnny:This boar.

Johnny:The toad.

Johnny:He's frightened one.

Gamemaster:May in the spring.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:That is my turn.

Gamemaster:already.

Gamemaster:That brings us to Rat 1.

Gamemaster:Rat 1 is dazzled and clumsy.

Gamemaster:There isn't much for him to do still other than try and find someone to attack.

Gamemaster:I think he's probably going to go for Benny.

Gamemaster:It's gonna go for Benny.

Johnny:Wait, Josh, did he do the dazzled roll?

Gamemaster:One action to move.

Benny:Before he even attacks.

Gamemaster:Absolutely, make a reactive strike on the man.

Gamemaster:Uh, no?

Gamemaster:He hasn't made the attack yet.

Anzu:He hasn't.

Benny:Yeah.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:He will when he makes the attack.

Johnny:Oh, well.

Gamemaster:That is a crit.

Benny:Yeah, if he makes the attack.

Johnny:He's not making that attack.

Benny:Oh.

Benny:Whoops, I have remove two from that.

Gamemaster:Okay, well, he has 24 influence.

Benny:Perfect.

Gamemaster:So, absolutely.

Gamemaster:Doesn't even get to make the attack.

Gamemaster:Was that your pick?

Gamemaster:You pull the pick out of Hlarf and just do a full 180 and it lodges in the ramp.

Gamemaster:And he's gone.

Gamemaster:And it's his turn.

Gamemaster:So that brings us to Anzu.

Anzu:Okay.

Anzu:I'm going to send another soothe to Argyle.

Johnny:one you

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Alrighty.

Benny:Okay.

Argyle:All right.

Argyle:I'm up.

Anzu:Hit him with that HP.

Gamemaster:Why did Argyle just... Why did it roll a Concealment check there?

Argyle:I don't know what that is.

Gamemaster:Okay, yeah, ignore that.

Gamemaster:Okay, Argyle is alive and wounded and prone.

Anzu:My Unleashed Psyche has ended, which I think is bad for me.

Anzu:I think I'm stupefied I don't know what stupefied does

Gamemaster:Second.

Gamemaster:You can't unleash Psyche again for two rounds, and you're stupefied one for two rounds.

Benny:that does strike me as true.

Gamemaster:You're stupefied, which gives you a minus one penalty to intelligence, wisdom, and charisma-based rolls in DCs.

Gamemaster:Also, if you attempt to cast a spell, you have to make a DC six flat check.

Anzu:Sick.

Anzu:I'm going to drink this healing potion.

Gamemaster:15 points to you.

Anzu:And then... Jesus.

Anzu:What do I even do?

Johnny:Can you attack this poor guy in any way?

Anzu:Uh, I am, uh, I kind of, my only psyche ends, all the air kind of wavering around me subsides.

Anzu:And, uh, I get, I look a little like dazed and panicked.

Anzu:Uh, and I just look around and I'm trying to like move my hands and do something with my mind and it's not working.

Anzu:And I just out of instinct peck at the boar in front of me and I'll make an attack with my beak.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Let's go peck attack.

Anzu:It's bad, but I can't cast any spells, so... No, like, I can't, because I flourished the... That's it.

Gamemaster:You can, you just have a minus one penalty to it.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:Oh, yes, yes, yes, because you did the soothe.

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, that does miss.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:It's the rat's turn.

Gamemaster:Does he go for Argyle, or does he go for Benny?

Gamemaster:I'm going to roll a d4.

Gamemaster:It's a four.

Gamemaster:He's going for Argyle.

Johnny:No.

Gamemaster:That's crazy.

Johnny:No.

Anzu:Oh, geez.

Anzu:We're in one.

Gamemaster:That does, unfortunately, crit.

Anzu:Oh, my God.

Benny:What?

Gamemaster:It happens sometimes.

Gamemaster:That's 22 points.

Gamemaster:That goes back down.

Gamemaster:We're going for Benny.

Gamemaster:That's it.

Gamemaster:Ten points of piercing damage.

Gamemaster:And that's just barely a miss, because it's clumsy.

Anzu:Holy crap.

Gamemaster:Oh, sorry, Argyle, it's not your turn.

Gamemaster:It's Hlarf's turn.

Benny:you you

Gamemaster:He has little to do except go for Benny, so he's going for Benny.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:That hits.

Gamemaster:10 points of piercing damage.

Gamemaster:That hits.

Gamemaster:Another 13 points of piercing damage.

Gamemaster:Is Benny still up?

Benny:No.

Gamemaster:OK.

Gamemaster:And he'll spend his last action.

Gamemaster:to walk over Benny towards Johnny.

Gamemaster:It is... Boar's turn.

Gamemaster:Boar's going for Anzu.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:That's a crit.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:That's a crit.

Argyle:Well, in 10 years, we finally hit our TPK.

Gamemaster:18 points of damage.

Gamemaster:Go again.

Gamemaster:That misses.

Gamemaster:And one final attack.

Gamemaster:That also misses.

Gamemaster:That's the end of his turn.

Johnny:thank you

Gamemaster:It's the Croc's turn.

Benny:Who gave a crocodile a hatchet?

Gamemaster:It's one action.

Gamemaster:Second action to target Johnny.

Gamemaster:We're gonna make a hatchet attack.

Gamemaster:Critical failure.

Gamemaster:We're gonna make a second hatchet attack.

Gamemaster:Also misses.

Gamemaster:Johnny, it's your turn.

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:It's a man who turns into a crocodile sometimes.

Gamemaster:He went into a store and purchased his own hatchet.

Anzu:Johnny, I think it's time to go.

Benny:you

Johnny:I'm going to run over to Anzu.

Johnny:I'm going to use my last mythic point to cast Rainbow's End outside.

Johnny:Is there a window across the way over here?

Gamemaster:OK.

Gamemaster:That's the window.

Gamemaster:This is the window into this room.

Gamemaster:So either you can, oh, sorry, 60 feet.

Gamemaster:This is the, one second.

Gamemaster:There isn't a window, unfortunately, out this way.

Gamemaster:60 feet gets you, you can go like over here, you can go over here, which gets you to the path towards the front of the bar, or you can go out the window out this way.

Johnny:Okay.

Anzu:I'll let you take the window.

Anzu:No, maybe.

Argyle:Yeah probably the window.

Argyle:I think it's harder for them to follow through the window.

Johnny:No, it's not that.

Johnny:I have to go after Anzu.

Anzu:Maybe just go.

Argyle:Or you both can run separately, split up.

Anzu:Anzu's looking kind of out of it a little dazed.

Anzu:Looks across and sees the two other companions down.

Anzu:He goes, Johnny, the vocalist needs us.

Anzu:Go.

Benny:Thank you.

Johnny:I'm gonna... Fuck.

Argyle:I want you to know, Argyle understands.

Argyle:Ex-child soldier, it's fine.

Argyle:It is fine.

Johnny:I'm gonna cast Rainbow's End and tell Anzu to leave.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Out the window.

Gamemaster:Where are you casting it?

Johnny:Oh, sorry.

Gamemaster:You don't have view there.

Gamemaster:It can be over here.

Gamemaster:This is the one window in this room.

Johnny:Right there?

Gamemaster:So you can see like, yeah, that's fine.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:I'm going to turn to Anzu.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:I'm going to take my sunglasses off and I'll put them on his head.

Johnny:I'm going to say, you got this, fly.

Johnny:And that's my turn.

Gamemaster:You do have one more action, if you'd like to do anything with it.

Johnny:I will move around him to right there.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:No, that one's dropped.

Gamemaster:Okay, so you're not sustaining the other rainbows out.

Johnny:Just the one out the door.

Gamemaster:Okay, good.

Gamemaster:Alrighty.

Gamemaster:Anzu, it's your turn.

Argyle:Wait, so just a quick question.

Argyle:So if you moved your movement speed and then Anzu used his movement speed to catch up to you, you could then teleport back to that other rainbow zone?

Argyle:Would that work like that or no?

Gamemaster:Yep.

Argyle:If you wanted to do that.

Johnny:Oh.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:They just have to be adjacent to you while the spell is active.

Gamemaster:It doesn't have to be at cast.

Argyle:Yes, you can still run.

Johnny:Josh, can I undo my turn with that knowledge?

Gamemaster:Sure.

Johnny:Undo that whole thing.

Johnny:I don't do that one.

Johnny:I keep that one out there.

Johnny:I will.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Catch up to me.

Gamemaster:yeah so just just like do the manual counting of that's 25 feet

Johnny:Where am I?

Argyle:It already counted your other movements, so just keep that in mind.

Johnny:I have... Oh.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:No, I don't think I can escape that way.

Gamemaster:So there are two exits from inside the bar.

Gamemaster:There's this staircase over here, which is the service exit that's over on the left.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:Then there is the front door, but you do know that there is a round hat bouncer at the front door.

Johnny:I started my turn.

Johnny:I had to step over to him.

Johnny:That's the furthest I can get.

Johnny:I'm not going to escape these guys.

Anzu:Well, you didn't have to... Well, I guess maybe you did because of Hlarf, right?

Anzu:We don't know.

Johnny:Yeah.

Argyle:Or you could risk it.

Johnny:I don't think I can.

Argyle:You could risk it.

Argyle:Risk it for the biscuit.

Argyle:You're probably going to die if you don't risk it.

Argyle:They'll probably catch you and beat you to death.

Johnny:Alright.

Johnny:Then I will...

Johnny:Undo all this.

Johnny:I started my turn right there.

Johnny:I will run.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Where am I?

Johnny:Right there.

Johnny:Jeez, this is a lot of squares.

Benny:you

Johnny:I'm so sorry.

Johnny:Oh, this is working.

Anzu:Josh, is there a way to go back and undo his moves or no?

Anzu:Oh, geez.

Gamemaster:He can hit Ctrl-Z.

Gamemaster:Or Command-Z if you're on a Mac.

Gamemaster:There you go.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:So I was over there.

Johnny:This is the start of my turn.

Johnny:So from here... 25.

Gamemaster:Just ignore it.

Gamemaster:Just do the counting yourself.

Johnny:I didn't cast Rainbow's End this turn.

Argyle:You can cast it from here.

Johnny:Rainbow's End would not be there.

Johnny:No.

Johnny:Sorry, I'm trying to... Yeah.

Argyle:You can see the window.

Argyle:Cast from the doorway.

Argyle:You see the window.

Argyle:Oh, you got a new window.

Gamemaster:There's also a window out this way.

Gamemaster:If you're in the doorway, you can see out this way.

Johnny:Cast Randos End out that one.

Johnny:So over here.

Gamemaster:Okay, sure.

Johnny:Cast Randos End there.

Johnny:Third action.

Gamemaster:That's your second action.

Johnny:I don't want to get too far from Anzu.

Argyle:Use your movement.

Argyle:Get far.

Johnny:Yeah, I don't want to get... Third action right there and say, Anzu, catch up!

Argyle:Odds you can catch him.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay, now it's Anzu's turn.

Anzu:Okay.

Anzu:Oh my gosh, this cursor is annoying the hell out of me.

Anzu:So... So it's... Why can't I move myself?

Argyle:Okay, but this half-Giant can't even fit through that door, so he's stuck in there.

Argyle:Same with the crocodile.

Argyle:So, now you only have to run from the rat.

Gamemaster:That must be it.

Anzu:I don't understand.

Gamemaster:Can you try maybe refreshing the page?

Anzu:I move to there.

Gamemaster:I mean, otherwise I can loop you.

Benny:poet poets when they're having a writer's block he said why can't i move myself

Gamemaster:You just tell me where you want to go.

Anzu:That's two actions.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:With my final action, I say to Johnny, I'll see you at home.

Johnny:I take off the glasses and give them to Anzu.

Johnny:Say, I'll see you at home.

Anzu:And then I teleport... Jesus, this is just horrible.

Argyle:Do you have another Soothe?

Anzu:To here.

Anzu:That's my third action.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:Now, when they all run to kill Johnny, scoop up a 200-pound nine-year-old and an eight-foot-tall guy and then just run out.

Argyle:You go Soothe Argyle.

Benny:Do you have a mythic point?

Johnny:run around run around um of child

Anzu:If I had a...

Argyle:I'll then... I'll Resuscitate Benny.

Benny:I feel like Josh would let you run five miles with 400 pounds, 500 pounds of...

Gamemaster:He's famously hollow-boned.

Argyle:You got some potions to gurgle down our throats?

Anzu:I literally don't.

Anzu:I used my potion.

Argyle:I have a potion.

Benny:Benny has a potion on him.

Argyle:I have two.

Gamemaster:Watergile, it's your turn.

Argyle:Oh, so I make death saves?

Argyle:How does that work on here?

Benny:Benny has a potion on him.

Gamemaster:You roll...

Argyle:What does that button do?

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:Oops, I clicked it.

Argyle:Oh, never mind.

Gamemaster:Ignore that.

Gamemaster:That doesn't count.

Argyle:That's fine.

Argyle:I can just... Oh, okay.

Gamemaster:That was me clicking buttons.

Argyle:No.

Argyle:Did not take that.

Gamemaster:So do you see how there's a grave below your mythic point indicator on the HUD, like in the bottom?

Gamemaster:To the left of the quick actions.

Argyle:Yes.

Gamemaster:Click the grave.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:Wait, what dying am I at?

Argyle:Sorry.

Gamemaster:Oh, you should be... One second.

Anzu:No, you're just making him increase his dying.

Benny:Now you're at four.

Argyle:No, I know.

Argyle:What was my original dying at?

Gamemaster:One second.

Gamemaster:You're at dying two right now.

Argyle:I was at two, right?

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Argyle:I accidentally clicked the dying button.

Argyle:Ooh.

Gamemaster:That is a failure.

Gamemaster:You're at dying three.

Gamemaster:It's the rat's turn.

Argyle:Whoa.

Anzu:Well, that's not good.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Twenty... twenty-five feet.

Gamemaster:What's this guy's movement?

Gamemaster:What is... twenty-five.

Gamemaster:Okay, so that was one action.

Gamemaster:That's his second action.

Gamemaster:Third action.

Gamemaster:Benny.

Gamemaster:Get safe.

Benny:uh i click the grave oh this is so much worse this is what Jorge has been looking at the whole time okay no we can see stuff it just looks horrific so what do i what do i click the oh yeah the grave okay

Gamemaster:Oh wait, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Gamemaster:I forgot you went down.

Gamemaster:Let me... Now you click the grave.

Argyle:Yep.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:What's that?

Anzu:Oh, you guys can't see anything.

Gamemaster:Now you click the grave.

Argyle:Yeah.

Anzu:Oh.

Gamemaster:You click the grave.

Gamemaster:That is a success, so you are now dying one.

Argyle:If you get a 20, do you stabilize?

Gamemaster:If you get a critical success, you might.

Gamemaster:No, your dying value is reduced by two.

Argyle:Then now he's stuck.

Gamemaster:It's Hlarf's turn.

Anzu:And what, do you stabilize at dying zero or something?

Gamemaster:Yep.

Gamemaster:Okay, Hlarf also has a 25-foot movement speed.

Gamemaster:That's 15.

Gamemaster:That's 25.

Gamemaster:That's one action.

Johnny:He's watching the door.

Gamemaster:Incorrect.

Johnny:He can't get through.

Johnny:I can't even look.

Gamemaster:That's his second action.

Argyle:Who?

Gamemaster:That's his third action.

Anzu:Jeez.

Gamemaster:It's the boar's turn.

Gamemaster:What's the boar's movement speed?

Gamemaster:25.

Argyle:I, but, yeah, no, this is it.

Gamemaster:That's one action.

Johnny:No, it's not.

Argyle:You know, I'm fine with character death.

Argyle:It's just sad it happened to so many Nat 20s.

Gamemaster:I mean, to be fair, you guys did teleport into a room filled with enemies without checking the strength of them first.

Argyle:Such is life.

Johnny:We thought they'd be like... He doesn't have to.

Argyle:Yeah, but also, like, that was a lot of Nat 20s.

Argyle:That is sad.

Gamemaster:You did also not run away repeatedly.

Gamemaster:Um, he's gonna attack Johnny.

Argyle:Josh, I'm not blaming you, but that was still statistically a crazy amount of 20s.

Gamemaster:I guess.

Gamemaster:Let's see.

Gamemaster:Third attack on Johnny.

Gamemaster:Or third action is an attack on Johnny.

Johnny:He doesn't have to.

Gamemaster:He's gonna try and stab you.

Gamemaster:He's gonna... We were just talking about these.

Argyle:Yeah, it's...

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Argyle:It's not... Like, I'm not mad at you.

Argyle:I'm not mad at the game.

Johnny:Yeah.

Argyle:It's just how it rolls.

Argyle:It's just sad that it's just so many 20s.

Anzu:It's just chance.

Anzu:Yeah.

Argyle:Like, even on, like, Crit 22, it's just sad.

Gamemaster:You take 20 points of piercing damage.

Benny:Now,

Gamemaster:Anzu, you teleport into the rainbow outside, and the moment you get there, you watch it fade around you.

Anzu:Well, that hurts.

Gamemaster:It's the Croc's turn.

Gamemaster:10 feet.

Gamemaster:That's one action.

Gamemaster:This is 50 feet.

Gamemaster:That's two actions.

Johnny:Oh, God.

Gamemaster:He takes an attack on the window.

Gamemaster:Yeah, 22 is going to do it.

Anzu:Oh my god.

Argyle:It's going to be worst case, right guys?

Anzu:This guy's a psychopath.

Johnny:Run, Mindbird.

Johnny:Oh, God.

Johnny:No, they can't all run.

Gamemaster:The window shatters as this man slams his tail into it.

Argyle:Another crit.

Gamemaster:Anzu, it's your turn.

Gamemaster:You're stupefied.

Johnny:Run.

Anzu:Jesus Christ.

Gamemaster:Oh, actually, are you still stupefied?

Anzu:It lasts for two rounds, yeah.

Argyle:I just love that it's another crit I would say jump in the river but you have a crocodile

Anzu:Well, that's crazy.

Anzu:Wait, now, not to be nitpicky, but how obvious was it that I was out the window?

Gamemaster:There was a bright rainbow that appeared on the dock.

Anzu:Yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right.

Johnny:Run.

Johnny:Because it vanished before we got in that room.

Anzu:Alright, alright, alright.

Anzu:I wasn't sure... You're totally right, it does matter.

Gamemaster:You know what?

Anzu:That's a cool rainbow.

Gamemaster:Fine.

Gamemaster:That is a fair point, Noah.

Gamemaster:Let me roll a perception check for him to see if he would have known that the rainbow was out there, because technically the rainbow did fade, because you went unconscious.

Argyle:Yeah, yeah.

Gamemaster:I mean, there is light that went through the window, but we'll check.

Argyle:But he was behind the different doors, so the crocodile might not have seen it.

Gamemaster:Let me roll a perception check.

Johnny:Now he sees everything.

Argyle:He'll crit on this, too.

Argyle:It's okay.

Johnny:Oh, I like this character so much.

Gamemaster:How do I, what do you know?

Argyle:Remember when Josh was wondering if we should do our campaign as Inquisitors?

Argyle:We're now gonna opt into Inquisitors to burn it.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:Where is this man's perception?

Gamemaster:Oh, there it is.

Argyle:You're so fucked.

Gamemaster:I critically succeeded the perception check.

Johnny:Josh.

Gamemaster:He knows you're out the window.

Anzu:All right.

Anzu:It honestly doesn't really change the fact that I'm just going to run 75 feet in this direction for the time being.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:All right, Kyle.

Argyle:They're faster than you.

Argyle:And you can't swim because there's a crocodile.

Johnny:No, maybe, maybe they can't get away.

Johnny:They got to get out the window.

Johnny:It's a little window.

Johnny:He's a big croc.

Benny:Anzu, Anzu, run around to the window we came in.

Benny:Sneak in.

Benny:Benny has a health potion and a nuclear bomb that only kills enemies in both of his front pockets.

Gamemaster:Argyle.

Johnny:from his backstory it's from his backstory oh god

Benny:It's me.

Gamemaster:Death save.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:If you fail this one, you die.

Argyle:Can't I just automatically stabilize myself by spending all my hero points?

Argyle:My mythic points?

Gamemaster:Yes.

Gamemaster:If you have any mythic points left, you can just spend it and then you stabilize instead.

Gamemaster:Are you doing that?

Argyle:Would Argyle go taken alive?

Argyle:No, he's unconscious.

Argyle:He doesn't know.

Argyle:He definitely wouldn't by choice, but he doesn't know.

Argyle:So, mythically, he would save himself.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Gamemaster:He stabilizes.

Johnny:you you

Gamemaster:He is still unconscious, but he's not dead.

Gamemaster:It's the rat's turn.

Gamemaster:The rat will spend one action that is a tumble through, so I need to see if he can actually tumble through.

Benny:How does stabilizing work?

Gamemaster:One second.

Benny:When does Argyle come to?

Anzu:I mean, actually, no.

Anzu:In D&D, it takes a number of hours, but I don't know how it works here.

Gamemaster:The rule says the GM determines how long you remain unconscious from a minimum of 10 minutes to several hours.

Benny:Okay.

Benny:Anzu, just run them around town for several hours.

Anzu:Just kite them.

Benny:Yes.

Johnny:Keep dodging.

Gamemaster:I critically succeed on my tumble through.

Anzu:Just kite them for seven hours.

Johnny:Just keep dodging.

Argyle:It's unfortunate Anzu doesn't have the keys.

Argyle:There's no reason Anzu would have the keys.

Benny:That is true.

Benny:You have to come back to Benny now, and you have to give him the health potion that he has.

Benny:Of course.

Johnny:What the fuck?

Gamemaster:How far away are you on zoom?

Johnny:thank you

Anzu:Too far, probably.

Anzu:I'm 75 feet away.

Argyle:These are two crits that aren't...

Gamemaster:75 feet.

Gamemaster:That don't even matter.

Gamemaster:What is the... the range increment of his gun is 60 feet.

Gamemaster:So he's gonna... so he's gonna try and shoot you.

Gamemaster:He will take a minus two penalty to the attack.

Benny:Of course.

Gamemaster:He's still dazzled, but he passed the check, and then he missed the actual shot.

Johnny:what a fool

Anzu:Crazy.

Gamemaster:He'll spend his third action to start running after you.

Gamemaster:Oh.

Argyle:There's no... That's a hole right there, so he just falls into the ocean like an idiot.

Gamemaster:No, that's just wet wood.

Argyle:I guess he's just gone.

Argyle:Everyone knows rats can't swim.

Gamemaster:That's just wet wood.

Benny:Is what it would?

Gamemaster:That isn't the hole.

Benny:Make a balance check.

Argyle:Rats can't swim.

Argyle:He's dead.

Benny:Make a balance check.

Gamemaster:It's just wet wood.

Argyle:He insta-died.

Gamemaster:He's not dead.

Gamemaster:Benny, make a saving throw or spend your mythic points to stabilize.

Benny:He slips.

Argyle:Just like hell divers.

Argyle:He's dead.

Johnny:Thank you.

Benny:Oh, yeah.

Benny:My mythic points.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Do you have mythic points?

Benny:No.

Gamemaster:You don't have mythic points.

Benny:I spent them on trying to heal myself, and I rolled a one percentile on the crit damage roll.

Gamemaster:Okay?

Benny:I would be alive if I rolled a median.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:It's Hlarf's turn.

Gamemaster:I have to roll an acrobatics check for Hlarf.

Johnny:Or.

Anzu:Well, that's terrifying.

Gamemaster:Nope, that was an athletics check.

Gamemaster:Ignore that.

Gamemaster:Where is... Oh, they're not proficient.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:This is going to go well.

Gamemaster:Four.

Gamemaster:They get through, but they're prone.

Gamemaster:They spend another action to stand up.

Gamemaster:They're going to use their third action.

Gamemaster:I don't know.

Gamemaster:The range on the buckshot pistol is only 30 feet.

Gamemaster:That's not worth it.

Argyle:Oh, he's able to do one action.

Argyle:Jump through the window.

Argyle:That's the acrobatic and move.

Gamemaster:It's a tumble through.

Gamemaster:Tumble through lets you move as part of it.

Argyle:Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.

Gamemaster:He's going to use his third action to go.

Gamemaster:This is the 25 feet.

Argyle:And he crawled that.

Gamemaster:Johnny?

Gamemaster:No, he stands up.

Gamemaster:Oh, no, you're right.

Gamemaster:You're absolutely right.

Gamemaster:Because he spends his third action.

Gamemaster:He doesn't get to move at all.

Gamemaster:He's back there.

Gamemaster:Johnny?

Gamemaster:Um, one second.

Johnny:Oh, God.

Gamemaster:One moment.

Gamemaster:There we go.

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Gamemaster:Now you can make your dying check.

Gamemaster:You are at dying three.

Argyle:We just have to laugh.

Argyle:This was not for us this session.

Johnny:This went so bad.

Gamemaster:It went so poorly.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:That's one.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:That's two.

Gamemaster:That's three.

Gamemaster:I don't think he can get through because Hlarf is there.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Now he really wants to.

Gamemaster:Yeah, he can't though.

Gamemaster:That's one.

Gamemaster:That's two.

Gamemaster:That's three.

Gamemaster:That's it.

Anzu:The Stupefied should be gone now.

Benny:You can still be stupefied.

Anzu:Now, my plan, and I promised that this was my plan before they started running for the service store, was to keep going directly left.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Gamemaster:You can do that.

Gamemaster:You get off the map and you run at the same speed as them.

Gamemaster:So I will count that as having successfully evaded them.

Gamemaster:You can run off following the pier.

Gamemaster:Further out.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Argyle:Nanzu level up.

Johnny:You alright, dawg?

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:Benny.

Gamemaster:Dead safe.

Argyle:Seems like some high level XP here.

Benny:Why?

Benny:Why would you just sit on 13 for as long as you did?

Gamemaster:Johnny, dead safe.

Anzu:Oh my god.

Gamemaster:Johnny dies.

Johnny:Oh, I'm dead.

Anzu:You were already at dying too?

Gamemaster:Who's at dying three?

Johnny:Yep.

Johnny:I'm dead.

Gamemaster:Johnny passes.

Gamemaster:Benny.

Benny:Put it all on black.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:I'm going to make an attack on Argyle now.

Johnny:you you

Gamemaster:That hits.

Argyle:Our guy was dead.

Gamemaster:Uh, Argyle is bumped up to Dying 3.

Gamemaster:Uh, and then... Hlarf will attempt... will attempt a Coup de Grace.

Anzu:Oh, they're just finishing them off?

Gamemaster:Or a Punch.

Anzu:Well, that's not what I thought was going to happen.

Gamemaster:That hits.

Gamemaster:Argyle is dead.

Gamemaster:Benny's return.

Benny:All on black.

Gamemaster:Flutterful attempt to punch Benny.

Johnny:nice nice

Benny:Benny instinctively dodges.

Anzu:Smart.

Gamemaster:That's a crit.

Anzu:Alright, well that's just not nice at all.

Gamemaster:Benny is dead.

Gamemaster:That's where we'll end up for today.

Benny:All righty.

Anzu:Guys, this was all just a product of some illegal augury.

Argyle:Oh, yeah.

Anzu:I'm fairly certain.

Anzu:Um...

Gamemaster:Ferocious.

Anzu:That was not good.

Argyle:No.

Gamemaster:Nope.

Johnny:Good bye.

Argyle:Look, yeah, the plan wasn't a great plan.

Argyle:There was just a lot against us this night.

Argyle:There wasn't.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:I think we had like a 70% chance of doing that.

Benny:80?

Benny:Yeah.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:I mean, the final was when he had like a plus two to hit but got a 20.

Argyle:Yeah, I was just cooked there.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that last hit, unfortunately, he got a crit, which meant that his plus zero, like, zero over your AC turned into a crit.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Unfortunate.

Benny:Benny also got crit the first time he was swung at by someone with sneak attack.

Benny:Benny took 26 points of damage in the opening round, and I was like, oh.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:Yeah, it's just, it's like all of our help.

Argyle:I took two 30-something crit damages in a row.

Benny:Yeah.

Argyle:There's not.

Argyle:On a... Yeah, on a 24 AC.

Argyle:Unfortunate.

Gamemaster:Unfortunate.

Argyle:Oh.

Gamemaster:Next week?

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:Next week.

Gamemaster:All right.

Argyle:Now, Mind's Bird has some reasons to be fucked up.

Johnny:It's just MindBird.

Anzu:Next week, oops, all Tanner.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:The other three of you don't need to show up next week.

Gamemaster:It's fine.

Gamemaster:It's just me and Tanner.

Benny:Thank you.

Argyle:Mindbird saw Whiskers get brutally killed.

Argyle:I think he... Did he eat Whiskers, too?

Argyle:Or is that just Johnny and Benny?

Gamemaster:What?

Argyle:Who ate Whiskers?

Argyle:Who ate food at the... Someone ate... Yeah.

Gamemaster:What?

Gamemaster:Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Gamemaster:People ate hors d'oeuvres.

Gamemaster:Little pigs in a blanket.

Anzu:I did not.

Johnny:Forgot about that.

Argyle:Okay, so... It's been a bad couple days for Mindbird.

Gamemaster:I mean, to be fair, as bad as it's been for Mindbird, it's been objectively worse for the other members of the party.

Johnny:Mind bird!

Johnny:Rough.

Johnny:Rough day.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:Yep.

Anzu:I had nothing left, guys.

Argyle:That's it.

Johnny:There was nothing.

Gamemaster:Sometimes you lose a fight.

Johnny:We were out in the middle of the road.

Johnny:It wasn't our day.

Benny:Not a TPK, though.

Johnny:We got him out.

Gamemaster:Technically not a TPK.

Johnny:I've got to find three more.

Benny:That's honestly on the plus side.

Benny:Illmari doesn't have to be like, I gotta find four more assholes.

Benny:Exactly.

Benny:And Anzu still has contact, so it's just like... Yeah, the other three... So these are the new guys, anyways.

Benny:We don't have to re-establish contact.

Johnny:wealth.

Gamemaster:Yep.

Gamemaster:Anyway, we pick up next session.

Argyle:Well, well.

Gamemaster:You guys don't need to roll new characters.

Gamemaster:See y'all.

Benny:Wait.

Johnny:What?

Anzu:Yeah, he's got something planned.

Argyle:I might still.

Argyle:I don't know.

Argyle:Oh, Mike came back.

Benny:Yeah.

Johnny:That was fucked.

Argyle:Read your post player chat.

Argyle:That's fucked.

Benny:We should have read.

Johnny:I mean, if he was hitting for 32 hit points, like I have 35 hit points, I don't know how many Tanner has.

Argyle:I don't know if we could have ran.

Argyle:I don't think we could have.

Argyle:No, like, I don't think we could have ran and... Yeah.

Benny:Yeah.

Anzu:Yeah, I think by the time it was time to run, you guys were in it.

Johnny:Yeah, there is no way to...

Argyle:We just got fucked by the dice.

Argyle:There was no other way around it.

Benny:That was so crazy.

Johnny:The first two hits on you guys were like 24 on Mike and then like 32 on Jorge.

Johnny:There's no coming back from that.

Argyle:I have such an out of scope AC, and I got crit three times in a row.

Argyle:There's no counter for that.

Benny:Also

Benny:Benny would have been... I was planning on using Benny's health potion to get Argyle up.

Benny:The only issue was Argyle got up with 12 hit points and then immediately got hit with a 30 punch.

Benny:And I'm like, if I keep bringing you up and down, you're going to die from just being wounded refreshed.

Argyle:Again, yeah.

Benny:Which is why I didn't use the health potion.

Benny:Also, a 15... I rolled two 1s on 2d10.

Johnny:I know.

Benny:I was like...

Benny:This is good for at least 30.

Benny:I was like, this is good for at least 30.

Benny:I'll heal 15 points.

Benny:I get 15.

Benny:I heal for seven.

Benny:I die by zero.

Argyle:My cure wounds didn't really work either.

Benny:Exactly.

Benny:You get hit with 13 when I have 13.

Johnny:Yeah, no, the second one of us went down, there was no coming back from it.

Argyle:Everything was rolling low, and it was just done.

Argyle:I still think we could have won that fight.

Argyle:It's just it was comically bad rolls from us and comically good rolls from Josh.

Johnny:Well, we were winning for the first few rounds.

Argyle:It was... Yeah, yeah.

Johnny:I think that first crit just changed everything.

Johnny:Could we get the dice plot?

Argyle:It was like a ridiculous... Josh rolled like 15 20s.

Argyle:There was a... Yeah.

Benny:Yeah.

Argyle:But yeah.

Argyle:Alright.

Anzu:Well, I guess we'll see what he has in store for us.

Benny:Yeah.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:Well, it was good dying with you guys.

Argyle:Alright.

Johnny:I'm glad we're almost mid, though.

Benny:They're definitely going to take the car.

Argyle:I'm glad one got out.

Anzu:They're probably going to take the car.

Johnny:Oh, no!

Benny:They're going to search Benny.

Benny:They're going to find an eternal lollipop and car keys.

Johnny:And your permission slipped.

Johnny:They'll have your permission slipped.

Benny:Oh my god.

Benny:They'll be like, we shouldn't have killed him.

Benny:He was allowed to be here.

Argyle:Yeah.

Anzu:Yeah, they just had a lot of survivability, too.

Argyle:Maybe we should have jumped the smaller people first.

Argyle:Like, jumped in that side.

Argyle:Maybe it would have... Yeah.

Anzu:The reaction to stay alive is tough.

Johnny:Yeah, that also.

Benny:I don't...

Benny:I don't like how Josh said you don't have to re-roll new characters because now I am coming to terms with the death of the character and I want to make a new one.

Benny:It's...

Argyle:Yeah, I honestly might message him that... I might.

Johnny:Like, I want a new character who will let you.

Argyle:I don't know if Argyle would do whatever were-creature shenanigans they're going to try to put him through.

Argyle:Mike, if you want to do some new character design that puts us together, let me know.

Johnny:No, I really like Johnny.

Benny:Yeah.

Argyle:Same with you.

Argyle:I don't know.

Argyle:Feel free to keep jotting.

Johnny:If Josh is letting me keep him, I'm going to keep him.

Benny:We'll see.

Benny:Well, I mean, maybe I can... I don't know.

Benny:I'm trying to look at my things.

Benny:I was like, what could I have done better?

Benny:And it's like, I guess I'm not taking advantage of the fighter feats to do enough damage.

Benny:I don't know.

Benny:Maybe if Josh let me respec and I get slightly better ones with whatever comes of the body of Benny.

Johnny:I don't know.

Anzu:I don't think that your build is bad.

Johnny:You took like over half.

Benny:Yeah.

Johnny:I think we rolled bad.

Anzu:I think that, I mean, is it, and maybe like we weren't supposed to do that.

Anzu:I don't know.

Benny:I mean, my build is definitely not 100% optimal.

Benny:I probably have too much in Charisma.

Benny:I could use more in Dex.

Benny:And also, the fighter feats for fighting actions are not 80% optimal.

Argyle:What do you guys think about a vampire thaumaturge?

Benny:They're not 100%.

Johnny:There was a moment where that didn't click, and I was like, that's a pretty cool character, actually.

Johnny:We just all come back, and now we're all undead exemplars.

Argyle:Yeah, yeah.

Argyle:Where creatures are back, that means vampires are back.

Argyle:Alright, well.

Anzu:Well, we'll see what he has in store, I guess.

Benny:Exemplars are fun.

Anzu:I don't know.

Argyle:Alright.

Argyle:Adios.

Anzu:Good night, guys.

Benny:Adios.