2025-2-18 — Akasha

Jorge:Yo, yo, yo.

Josh:How are you?

Jorge:I'm doing well.

Jorge:How are you?

Jorge:Oh.

Josh:I'm fine.

Josh:My company's just hired an HR person for the first time.

Josh:And so they're trying to do actual promo cycles.

Josh:And they're figuring it out.

Josh:And they've got no idea what's going on.

Josh:So that's a good time.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:It'll be fun to see how that goes.

Jorge:That'll be good.

Josh:It'll be an experience.

Jorge:Hopefully it'll be good.

Josh:That's what it'll be.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:I finally got to stop working with that incompetent six, which is pretty nice.

Jorge:Ooh, I like the beard.

Josh:You killed them?

Josh:I just shaved.

Josh:No.

Jorge:But yeah, so I had a one-on-one with the main TL for the team.

Jorge:This guy sits on a separate team.

Jorge:He reports to our skip manager, but since he's an L6, he doesn't report to our manager.

Jorge:Weird, but anyway.

Jorge:When I chat with the tech lead who's on our team, I got the vibe very clearly that my manager and he is just aware that this dude kind of sucks.

Josh:OK.

Jorge:And I was like, I just don't really want to work with him.

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:And they're like, yeah, just wrap up this last thing.

Jorge:And I'm like, thank God.

Josh:Nice.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:You're still going to be on a team with him.

Josh:They're not going to transfer you again.

Josh:Or him.

Jorge:No, so Anam is a six that reports to my manager's manager, Lu Yao.

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:Lu Yao has like 15 to 16 reports.

Jorge:Some of them are managers and some of them are these like rogue sixes.

Josh:Oh.

Jorge:I report to a guy named Ali.

Jorge:Ali and Howard are just like, yeah, you don't have to work with.

Jorge:And now I'm on this.

Josh:Okay, sure.

Jorge:I was like, it's just, it feels so, I was like, this project feels disorganized.

Jorge:I don't know what we're trying to accomplish.

Jorge:And I don't even think we should be trying to accomplish this.

Jorge:And they're like, that makes a lot of sense.

Jorge:Yeah, this is kind of ridiculous.

Jorge:And I'm like, cool, awesome.

Jorge:He doesn't know how to do the main job of a 6, which is push back on other teams.

Jorge:So it's just annoying.

Josh:What?

Jorge:I feel like once you start getting high enough as a staff engineer, part of your job is not necessarily to write code.

Jorge:It's more to figure out which code should be written.

Jorge:And he's just not judicious with that at all.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:Sure.

Josh:That's unfortunate.

Josh:You would think he's been there for 15 years or whatever, right?

Jorge:Yeah, I think he just got to six by consolation.

Josh:Still, how do you not, like, just pick something up over a decade and a half?

Jorge:I don't know.

Jorge:He probably did pick some stuff up.

Jorge:He was probably much worse when he got hired.

Josh:Oh, sure.

Josh:This is the improved version.

Jorge:Yeah, this is the improved version.

Josh:Good.

Josh:Good for him.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:So...

Josh:Well, I mean, listen, he's probably having a better time of it than, like, other L6s are.

Josh:You know, just not thinking about stuff.

Jorge:I don't know.

Jorge:Cause that's true, but I think he, he really knows he doesn't know stuff, which is funny.

Josh:But if you know you don't know things, then surely you do something to fix it.

Tanner:Bye.

Josh:No?

Jorge:Uh, I mean, yeah, but to put it nicely, Josh, Oh, nice haircut.

Josh:I don't know.

Josh:I would just... If I were repeatedly in situations where I didn't know what was happening, that would be the most mortifying thing in the world for me, and I would try and fix it no matter what.

Jorge:Noah.

Noah:Thank you.

Jorge:Um,

Jorge:If you don't know something, it could be a software problem or a hardware problem.

Jorge:And you can try updating your software, but if you don't have the hardware to run that software, you're never going to catch up.

Josh:I don't know.

Jorge:I just think this dude's not capable of following.

Josh:Unless Google's culture is so crazy different than what I expect it to be, I can't imagine that some guy who's managed to be there for 15 years doesn't have the capability to learn something.

Jorge:But I don't know.

Jorge:Gemini is weird because you have to keep learning all these new stuff.

Jorge:And I just don't know mental elasticity for some of this stuff.

Josh:I guess.

Josh:So he's just dumb and that's just a permanent thing that he'll be stuck with forever?

Josh:He's subhuman.

Jorge:I guess.

Jorge:And also, when you're at a certain level, you can kind of get away with getting a lower level engineer to do the actual stuff.

Jorge:So I'm sure he's just not had to actually do stuff for a while.

Tanner:So he's regressed as a human being.

Jorge:Yeah.

Noah:Bulls.

Tanner:Yikes.

Tanner:How old is this?

Josh:He's worse.

Tanner:How old is this person?

Jorge:He's like 40s to 50s.

Tanner:Hmm.

Jorge:Probably 40.

Jorge:I don't know.

Tanner:I guess...

Josh:That's an old man.

Josh:I didn't think there were any 40 to 50 year olds that worked at Google.

Josh:I thought you were required to retire at 32.

Josh:No?

Jorge:Nah.

Jorge:No, most of the older people working at Google either.

Jorge:are in it because they love the game.

Jorge:They are bored.

Jorge:Or they're probably bad with money.

Josh:They spent all the money so they have to keep working.

Tanner:They need their salary.

Jorge:Yeah.

Noah:I don't want to do this.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:But it's really funny when you run into these rogue sixes who just like... You can tell they have enough money to retire.

Jorge:And they're like 40.

Jorge:But they also...

Jorge:are working, but it's more of a hobby for them.

Jorge:They'll get stuff, and they're like, meh.

Josh:I mean, I'm not against the whole rogue L6 thing.

Josh:I totally understand not wanting to become a manager, but also not wanting to leave the industry.

Josh:I get that.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:I just, you know.

Josh:That's crazy.

Jorge:There's nines that don't have any reports.

Jorge:Yeah, yeah.

Jorge:It's really hard to get that, but like...

Jorge:I've seen sevens without reports, eights, nines, yeah.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:It becomes a little... It's nice when you become a specialist, and then you just don't have to deal with managing people.

Josh:That is true.

Jorge:Thank you.

Tanner:Mike could be operating off the assumption that I was gonna be later than this.

Jorge:I thought we were always going to just get on early and just talk without Tanner.

Jorge:And then once Tanner got here, we'd be like, all right, you don't get to socialize.

Jorge:See you, man.

Tanner:I think that Mike figured that if I wasn't here, then it might not be worth it.

Jorge:Oh.

Josh:Tanner is the glue that holds us together.

Noah:Yeah.

Jorge:That's true.

Noah:True.

Noah:Without Tanner, what's the point?

Tanner:So...

Josh:There isn't any.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:Forgot to mention, guys.

Jorge:Wait, Josh, did you ever look at the sheet I made to track all the gold when I was buying the new items in Sedicia?

Josh:No, I trusted that you could do math.

Josh:Should I have looked at it?

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:No, no, I just feel like I should confess some things that I had that I sold.

Jorge:So most of them was really nothing.

Jorge:The one thing I just want to call out is I sold the cryo mister.

Jorge:I feel like we didn't need it and we really could have used it.

Josh:You had this before Damien, I think.

Jorge:to get over that lava pass, but we just didn't.

Jorge:So, like, eh.

Tanner:I don't even know what that is

Noah:We had one of those?

Jorge:Yeah, we had one of these.

Jorge:It was a consumable.

Jorge:We got it around Damien, I believe.

Jorge:And, like, I think we could have used it to bypass, like, the lock puzzle with the lava, but, like... Oh.

Jorge:Well, never mind, then.

Jorge:I sold it.

Josh:Are these all of the things that you sold?

Jorge:And it turns out I actually didn't need to because I had a bunch of money left over, but I did, so it's gone.

Josh:Or the things that you have on your person?

Josh:What is this?

Jorge:So I have the current inventory.

Jorge:Those are all my things.

Josh:Oh.

Jorge:Then I have the items to sell and then the wants.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:Okay, gotcha.

Josh:I didn't look down.

Josh:I make the mistake of never assuming that a sheet has more than one page.

Jorge:Hey, no worries.

Tanner:Oh, gosh.

Josh:Just as if...

Josh:If I ever need more room, then I just move slightly over to the side, and then I have more room.

Tanner:No, sometimes you need more sheets.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:I... I have never run into an issue where I've used up all of the space on one sheet.

Josh:I know it's finite, but it's fine.

Tanner:It's not about using all the room on the sheet.

Josh:Yes, it is.

Tanner:It's about...

Josh:You're supposed to use all the parts of the animal.

Jorge:Organization.

Josh:I'm not going to waste another sheet.

Josh:You want me to kill more digital trees?

Josh:You've got a scroll bar.

Josh:It's fine.

Josh:I'm not presenting it to other people.

Josh:Don't look at me like that.

Tanner:That's fair, that's fair.

Josh:It's for me.

Tanner:If it works for you, that's good.

Noah:Whatever works, man.

Jorge:I also sold a red pitch bomb.

Noah:You have a lot of stuff.

Noah:Where do these things even come from?

Noah:Yeah.

Josh:He had so much stuff.

Josh:He is the only one that throughout the entire campaign, whenever I've said something along the lines of, you guys can go buy things, he comes back to me with a list of things that he's buying.

Tanner:Yeah, he actually gets stuff, unlike the rest of us.

Josh:Yeah, the rest of you sit on piles of money like a dragon until one really cool expensive item comes up, and then you're like, yeah, I'll chip in for that.

Jorge:Wait.

Noah:Oh, no, it's the Noah Naaman.

Josh:He's a gremlin, and he'll be like, I have a list of 45 items that I'd like to purchase at the next town.

Josh:I'm going to use two of them.

Josh:One of them is only so that I can look like a pope, and then that's it.

Tanner:I have one of your sheets but it's from a while ago.

Jorge:Wait, no, what's your email again?

Jorge:Nnaman?

Jorge:I'll share the sheet with you guys if you're curious.

Jorge:Oh, yeah.

Jorge:I don't know why that... All right, yeah.

Josh:Yeah, I... The Dicebot is not going to recognize that because the link starts with an open parenthesis and it doesn't know how to interpret that.

Jorge:I don't know why...

Jorge:Yeah, I don't know why I did that, to be honest with you.

Jorge:But yeah, that's the sheet.

Jorge:I can share it with... I shared it with Navi Tanner and Dino and Damon.

Josh:I'm going to... I'm going to kill Mike.

Tanner:Why?

Josh:Mike's thing the past few days has been to not answer with a complete sentence.

Noah:That was a Seinfeld record.

Josh:He'll say something that is esoteric, and I cannot figure out the reason of it.

Josh:And then I'll ask him to elaborate, and he still won't fully elaborate.

Tanner:Well, the maybe even five I think is a reference to iCarly.

Noah:That was a Seinfeld record.

Noah:Oh, I thought it was a Seinfeld record.

Josh:The doctor?

Josh:Is it a doctor or mechanic?

Josh:The guy who's like, you know, you only have 9, 8, 7... Do you think he'd be making an iCarly reference?

Tanner:Right.

Tanner:I think it's a mechanic.

Jorge:I shared the sheet with you guys in the fake dice roll.

Josh:Because I'm pretty sure he can only reference Spongebob, like contractually.

Noah:What if Mike was just a really big iCarly fan?

Noah:I don't know why that seems so incongruent, but... For some reason, though, the idea of Mike really loving iCarly...

Tanner:It's a pretty good show.

Josh:I liked it.

Josh:I enjoyed it.

Josh:I watched all of it.

Tanner:Gibby?

Jorge:I agree.

Jorge:It seems weird.

Jorge:It seems like he's been cheating on his Spongebob partner.

Josh:Do you think he only had the time in the day to watch one TV show?

Jorge:And play that raccoon game, Sly Cooper.

Josh:He could have done three things.

Josh:I believe in him.

Jorge:Nah.

Josh:No?

Jorge:Nah.

Josh:No.

Tanner:I actually knew his picture today.

Josh:I didn't.

Tanner:Has it happened?

Josh:I had to reverse image search this guy.

Josh:It's very strange looking.

Tanner:Yeah, he's very interesting.

Tanner:Well, he's not that interesting, actually.

Tanner:But... No, this is Yilang Ma.

Jorge:Elon Musk?

Josh:That's not a mask.

Noah:Oh, this is a real dude?

Noah:This isn't, like... Oh, that's kind of awesome.

Tanner:This guy makes videos...

Tanner:He's Chinese, like, lives in China, Chinese, doesn't have very good English, but makes videos with Teslas, like, pretending to be Elon Musk and giving people positive affirmations.

Tanner:Yeah.

Josh:He got banned from like every service recently, which is the first thing.

Tanner:Because he happens to...

Noah:Oh.

Josh:That's where I found this image.

Josh:I reverse image searched and it was a news article about how he got kicked off of China's equivalent of TikTok.

Noah:Oh, really?

Tanner:I didn't know he got banned.

Josh:I don't know if he got banned off of actual TikTok, but I know he got banned off of Zhongzheng or whatever it's called.

Jorge:Red Book?

Josh:God, I used to know what it was called and I can't.

Jorge:Red Book?

Josh:Yeah, sure.

Josh:I don't speak Chinese.

Josh:I don't know what that translates to.

Jorge:Yeah, I think it's Red Book because people started going to Red Book after TikTok got banned.

Jorge:And what was funny about it was the US government's like, we're scared they're going to be just filled with Chinese propaganda.

Jorge:And they're like, well, we're going to go to Red Book.

Jorge:And they're like, what?

Noah:Wait, what?

Jorge:Yeah, people start going to an actual Chinese app.

Noah:Oh, he scared him away.

Tanner:I feel like there's room to do one of those Gru memes with the plan.

Tanner:And TikTok.

Josh:I believe.

Jorge:Oh, yeah.

Tanner:Or, you know, you guys can see it.

Tanner:I don't need to.

Josh:I see the vision.

Josh:And he shows his face.

Tanner:Well.

Josh:You know, that was my fault.

Josh:I'm sorry.

Josh:I apologize.

Noah:Scared him away.

Noah:Like personally, you're just... Hello?

Tanner:Oh, now I'm worried that he's struggling.

Josh:Yeah.

Mike:Struggling with what?

Josh:I heard him.

Tanner:Oh.

Josh:I know he's around somewhere.

Mike:Struggling with what?

Josh:Okay.

Mike:Hello?

Mike:No, you can't.

Tanner:Oh, hey.

Tanner:All right.

Tanner:Oh, we can hear you.

Josh:Cool.

Noah:Okay.

Josh:Cool, cool, cool.

Tanner:Let's carry on.

Tanner:Now that we...

Josh:How you doing?

Mike:Good.

Josh:Alright.

Josh:Do we want to play some Pathfinder?

Josh:Do we want to jump into it?

Josh:Does anybody have anything else they'd like to bring up to the Council of Five first?

Jorge:Let me just check my sell sheets.

Tanner:For discussion topics.

Jorge:No, I feel good.

Jorge:I just want to make sure I don't have any other things to confess.

Jorge:Nope, everything else was mine.

Tanner:Can you share your discussion topics Excel sheet with us as well?

Jorge:There was a point where I started tracking how much damage I did, but I only got it for a few sessions, and then I was like, this is too much work.

Josh:That sounds like something Mike's been doing since we started playing.

Tanner:Didn't.

Tanner:Yeah.

Mike:It was a lot easier with tech, but I do have all the damage tech ever took.

Tanner:What?

Mike:From level, I don't know, probably five.

Josh:Why?

Mike:I have most of the damage that Divex has ever took, too.

Josh:Do you ever go back?

Mike:I think I did once, just to see, like...

Mike:There were a couple of things where it was like, oh, Tech took this amount of damage in a single encounter.

Mike:Or cumulatively, over the course of his life, he took I don't know how many thousands of damage.

Josh:I just, you know, so long as you're getting use out of it, I'm not against collecting data for the sake of collecting data.

Josh:I was just curious if it was worth your effort.

Josh:But if... Like monetary transactions?

Mike:I have all the transactions, which are probably a lot more worth it than the... Yeah.

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:No, that's fair.

Josh:Were you elected?

Josh:Guy who keeps track of the group fund?

Josh:Or did you decide that you were the guy?

Mike:wrestle the reins of power away from someone else.

Josh:Yeah.

Mike:I don't know.

Josh:Like, I don't remember anybody ever discussing and then agreeing that Mike would take it, but I think everybody just naturally assumed, yeah, Mike's got this.

Noah:I don't remember a world where Mike wasn't doing this.

Tanner:He craves it.

Mike:I think

Jorge:I remember when he did the first campaign, because he had an Excel spreadsheet.

Josh:Right.

Jorge:And then this campaign, I think we literally just looked at him like, you got it, right?

Mike:I think in the first campaign, there was an instance where it was like, oh, how much money do we have?

Mike:Or like, we need to keep track of the group amount or something.

Mike:And then I started keeping track.

Mike:And then at some point, someone's like, I don't know where we left off with the group fund.

Mike:And I was like, oh, I have it.

Mike:And then everyone's like, okay, Mike has it.

Josh:Great.

Mike:And then for this campaign, it's just like, we have 60 gold in the group fund.

Mike:And then everyone just turned at me.

Mike:And I was like, I'll enter it in the group fund.

Josh:Don't break.

Josh:It's not broke.

Josh:It's working.

Mike:Exactly.

Tanner:He also enjoys keeping the true balance of the group fund kind of nebulous.

Josh:That's fair.

Josh:It is funny, though, because I don't know it either.

Josh:So there's no way to fact check it.

Josh:Mike is the true arbiter of how much money you guys have.

Josh:If Mike said, no, I'm pretty sure last session you guys gave us like 5,000 gold pieces, I think I would be forced to say, yeah, that sounds right.

Jorge:There's... Bert Kreischer, the comedian, has done a bit, or on a podcast, talked about how he has just no concept of money.

Josh:Because I don't remember.

Jorge:He has no idea how much money he has.

Jorge:And every once in a while, he'll be like, could we, like...

Jorge:buy a beach house and his wife's like oh yeah we have beach house money but he's like oh could we buy a jet ski and she's like no no we can't afford that but like he just knows so that's literally mike where they do you just have to keep us hidden

Noah:It's like a reasonable amount, but...

Josh:Excuse me?

Josh:Mr. Mike?

Josh:Do we have Vorpal Sword money?

Mike:No.

Josh:And then he comes back and he just lets us know.

Josh:And I assume the answer's no.

Josh:No.

Jorge:Lev does.

Mike:How much is a vorpal sword?

Josh:Well, Lev sold his.

Josh:First opportunity.

Jorge:That wasn't Vorpal.

Josh:The final blade was Vorpal.

Noah:No, wasn't the final blade like a thing that it had to take... Oh.

Josh:It's Vorpal-ish.

Jorge:It's not Vorpal.

Jorge:I have to grab them, and that takes a minute.

Josh:I know, but once you take them in it, it's decapitated as though it suffered a critical hit from a natural 20 with a plus 3 major striking Vorpal Scythe.

Mike:Blurple.

Josh:It has guaranteed Vorpal crits built in.

Jorge:Yeah, it's kind of... So that one thing where it's like, ah, this could do 11d10, that averages like 55.

Josh:You just have to hold them down for a minute.

Jorge:And I think Lev averages around 55 per hit.

Jorge:So like, it just doesn't.

Noah:Lev himself is Vorpal.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:I have to add 5,000 to this that Tanner gave me.

Josh:Yeah, I mean, I think part of the final blade is specifically that the person who gets killed by it is dead.

Josh:Forever.

Jorge:Yeah.

Mike:As far as we know.

Josh:No, it's part of the description of the item.

Noah:Hmm.

Josh:They're dead.

Mike:The description that we're given.

Josh:That sword appeared in the previous campaign, too.

Josh:Like, it's not a new item.

Josh:Rodic had it and used it on Mephi.

Jorge:Yeah, because it was like an action.

Josh:You didn't have multiple actions in 5e.

Noah:We've kept that.

Josh:It's a different system.

Jorge:It did take a minute.

Josh:He was dead.

Jorge:He was able to just...

Josh:He was dead.

Jorge:What?

Josh:You had already killed him.

Josh:You just really killed him.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:He would have been like, wait, Matthew.

Jorge:I got to wait another minute.

Josh:You killed him down.

Jorge:Not the same.

Mike:What's that?

Josh:What?

Mike:There's like a... There's like a movie where people accidentally sell something that they then realize later is very valuable and they have to track it down?

Tanner:For 10 rounds, you got to hold them down.

Jorge:I would not fuck with the Thessian for 10 rounds.

Josh:Yeah.

Noah:dude where's my car i i know of it

Jorge:Indiana Jones.

Mike:No.

Mike:There's one where that's nearly the plot, but it wasn't purposely sold.

Mike:It's an item that was stolen by someone and then sold, and then the main character has to get it back.

Mike:It's like this huge Odyssean adventure.

Mike:There's a lot of themes in it.

Mike:Are you guys familiar with Pee-Wee's Big Adventure?

Tanner:I've not seen it.

Tanner:I've heard the name.

Josh:Yeah, sorry.

Mike:Oh, okay.

Mike:Then me describing an adult man that giggles and wears a tuxedo in one of the goofiest movies of the 80s as Odyssean Adventure to find his bike.

Tanner:I had a feeling that you were taking a bit of a leap with your description.

Jorge:Once he said Odyssean, I knew where it was going.

Josh:I assumed it was going to be a SpongeBob reference, to be honest.

Mike:No.

Josh:I could see there being a SpongeBob episode about SpongeBob losing his...

Tanner:Actually,

Tanner:The SpongeBob movie is pretty close to what we were talking about, to be fair.

Noah:Oh God, heartbreaking.

Josh:He has one.

Mike:Yes, and also when Gary gets kidnapped.

Josh:Is it?

Josh:Gary is the snail?

Mike:Yes.

Noah:Yeah.

Josh:Okay.

Mike:He gets kidnapped and force-fed by his captor.

Mike:It's like a... Stuff they didn't even use.

Josh:Like Hansel and Gretel?

Mike:Yeah, actually, exactly like Hansel and Gretel.

Josh:Sure.

Josh:Every story is every other story.

Josh:It's fine.

Noah:Yeah.

Noah:They're all one story.

Mike:They all come from Spongebob, though.

Josh:The monomyth.

Josh:That's a thing.

Noah:The Mono Sponge.

Mike:No, but we could also play while talking about too much.

Josh:Do we want to stop talking about Spongebob?

Noah:No.

Tanner:That was not the right question to ask.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:Next campaign is just going to be Spongebob.

Josh:I'm going to have to watch an episode and then...

Tanner:Oh my gosh.

Mike:Oh, I could run a one shot.

Noah:Somewhere on the planet Earth, canonically in the Astra, there's a sentient sponge.

Josh:Sure.

Josh:SpongeBob, I'm like 80% confident I've seen a weird clip of SpongeBob where he's just like a regular sink sponge and he's cleaning a real person.

Mike:Yes, to cure his suds.

Josh:Is... Not gonna go into that.

Josh:Is he actually just a sink sponge?

Josh:He's not like a sea sponge?

Noah:No, he's a sponge.

Noah:He's just a sponge.

Mike:He's a sponge.

Mike:Yeah.

Noah:His parents used to be sponges.

Mike:Yeah, his grandma's a sea sponge.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:Short.

Mike:His cousin looks like him, though.

Mike:Very yellow.

Mike:Also a sponge of questionable origin.

Jorge:Also, just to circle back before we leave, I did the math out, and on average, if I have just the 10 base personal antithesis damage, I will deal on average 51.5 damage per hit.

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:So yeah.

Josh:That's just giving me good numbers for how much to bump up the health of my enemy spy.

Jorge:Well, now we will know if he has the third eye.

Josh:If I want a fight to last 400... If I want it to last, like, three more turns, I'll just give him another 200 health and we'll call it a day.

Jorge:Only for Lev.

Josh:No.

Mike:You should do that, but you should have it as, like, the sum total of health.

Mike:So we get, like, 30 enemies.

Mike:That way, Lev has to just fucking hack through them like a crowd, and then Divex can...

Jorge:I would love to let you know about this new thing I got called Implement Assault.

Jorge:I can make n number of attacks as long as there's n enemies within 30 feet of me.

Tanner:Whoa.

Jorge:And I don't increase the multi-attack penalty until the end of it.

Tanner:I can only do that with people in my melee range.

Jorge:Well, my melee range turns to 30 feet when that happens.

Jorge:My implement will go flying and then come back.

Noah:This class is crazy.

Mike:Wait, what?

Mike:You're saying your turns start... How many actions does it take?

Jorge:Takes three.

Mike:It takes three to make three attack actions only, or to make N attack actions?

Josh:No.

Jorge:No, no.

Jorge:And...

Josh:Make a strike with your weapon against each enemy within 30 feet of you.

Josh:You don't increase your map until the end of making all attacks.

Josh:If your weapon is a melee weapon and any of the attacks are outside your reach, you release the weapon before the strikes and it returns to your grasp after all of them.

Tanner:And this is from your class?

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:Yeah, this isn't homebrew or anything.

Josh:It's just stupid.

Noah:That's wild.

Mike:What?

Jorge:Yeah.

Mike:It sounds like a 13-year-old just wanted to make up a really OP ability for their character.

Tanner:So...

Mike:No, I just hit everyone in 30 feet.

Mike:Okay, but your reach isn't 30 feet.

Mike:I throw the weapon, and it comes back.

Josh:But it is literally every enemy with... He just gets to make attacks against every enemy within 30 feet.

Jorge:It doesn't get...

Jorge:I wouldn't have my exploit vulnerability on all of them, unless it's all the same type of animal, say, type of creature.

Mike:Oh.

Jorge:So that would reduce my damage.

Jorge:So it'd be about 35 to 40.

Mike:Her hit.

Josh:And, like, it doesn't consume a resource or anything.

Josh:It's not like a flourish or something like that.

Josh:He just stands there and every round just hits everybody in 30 feet of him.

Noah:What is this?

Josh:Or attacks everybody in 30 feet of him.

Noah:This is crazy.

Noah:This is a wild... There's no...

Mike:What's the flavor explanation?

Mike:What is the description?

Mike:Because it's got to be like...

Jorge:I have three implements, but I can...

Josh:Your implement supercharges your weapon to carve through your foes.

Josh:That's it.

Mike:And this is just... Like you said, it doesn't burn a daily resource or hourly resource.

Josh:That's the whole flavor text.

Mike:It's just... Does the implement go to sleep?

Josh:The only requirement is that you are holding your implement.

Josh:No.

Jorge:I actually can grab one with a free action.

Jorge:I swear to God, it's a free action to change implements.

Josh:Yes.

Josh:Correct.

Jorge:Also, my sword is an implement, so if I'm just holding... The other option was I could just... I could get another implement.

Mike:But you don't...

Josh:Also, his sword is an implement.

Josh:He could be holding two implements at the same time.

Mike:And yeah, so, all right.

Noah:So you either get another implement or you can just attack everything?

Josh:Is there a fourth one?

Noah:I question Paizo's balancing of some of these.

Jorge:Yeah, yeah.

Jorge:I can get another Adept.

Jorge:Sorry, my other implement goes to Adept, but it's really not worth it.

Josh:Well, actually, I don't know if that matters.

Josh:One second.

Josh:Let me double check something.

Jorge:What?

Josh:I'm just reading through the rules, and I want to double check.

Josh:No, you're fine.

Josh:Never mind.

Jorge:What was nervous about that?

Josh:I just wanted to double check that you can actually use a Bastard Sword as a weapon implement.

Josh:You can.

Josh:You're fine.

Josh:No worries.

Josh:Because I saw, like, I was looking at the, like, icon in Foundry, and it said two-handed 2d12.

Josh:But it is a one-handed weapon, so it works.

Josh:You're fine.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:No, you're just... Thaumaturges are freaky.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:I rarely use two hands with it.

Josh:You can't.

Jorge:Well, I can.

Jorge:It just doesn't work as an implement.

Jorge:So I lose so much stuff.

Josh:Right, but... And you also can't be using any of your other implements while you're doing that.

Jorge:I can't use reactions.

Josh:Yeah, no, you just... Okay, okay, okay.

Jorge:I can't opportunity.

Jorge:It's just not.

Jorge:It's literally just like, hey, if you want to open this door that's not fighting back, I guess I can hit it with two hands.

Josh:Thaumaturges are stupid.

Josh:I'm banning them next campaign.

Josh:Do we want to play Pathfinder?

Noah:Yeah!

Mike:Okay.

Tanner:Yes.

Noah:Let's do it.

Josh:Okay, does anybody want to do a recap of last session?

Noah:Jorge looks really ready for this recap.

Jorge:No, I don't need to do it.

Jorge:I'm just hyped to hear it.

Noah:Oh.

Noah:Let's do it then.

Josh:No, go for it.

Noah:We went to Comic-Con.

Noah:Sorry.

Noah:Media-Con, which has all your favorite media all the time.

Noah:We snuck in handily by giving actual wine on a planet that doesn't have that.

Noah:We then looked around and went, oh, this is kind of crazy.

Noah:We spent some time learning about whatever was going on here.

Noah:We learned about the costume contest.

Noah:We entered it, learned that no one knows who we are, except, like, one person.

Noah:We did learn about Tarv, who machine guns for arms, although lately he's sold out, which is kind of lame.

Noah:We spent a long time haggling with a comic book guy from The Simpsons, who then did give us a comic book, which we almost found the Feep on, but there was, like, mustard on it.

Noah:Mint condition.

Noah:Not really.

Josh:It happens.

Noah:Looked around some more.

Noah:Learned about the planet.

Noah:Learned about Tarv.

Noah:Invented machine guns.

Noah:I guess they were invented already, but not on our planet.

Noah:Add... Oh, no.

Noah:Then we learned that the head corporation of Media... What's the name of this company?

Noah:Media Corp...

Josh:Omnivore.

Mike:Omnibox.

Noah:Omnivox, thank you.

Noah:Omnivox, the voice of the people, all the media, all the time, is on a satellite orbiting the planet, and the way to get up there is to win this cosplay contest.

Josh:Voice of the people.

Noah:So we all entered as ourselves.

Noah:Lev said, we can't win as ourselves.

Noah:And then we invented machine guns, because we were like, we've got to get up there, because that's where the information on the Feep is, because...

Noah:There's a lot of cagey stuff about how was Omnivox founded?

Noah:Where did it come from?

Noah:Who knows?

Noah:We entered the cosplay contest.

Noah:The three of us who were ourselves, cosplaying ourselves, did not win.

Noah:We came in second, but did not win.

Noah:Mostly because one judge was like, yeah, they're them playing themselves.

Noah:That's pretty cool.

Noah:And the other two were like, yeah, sure.

Noah:Lev did win playing a character he found out about five minutes before it started.

Noah:We then almost... Oh, we then talked to the judges who... Maybe we know who they are.

Noah:Who knows?

Noah:They know who we are.

Noah:We almost got into an old-timey Sharks vs. Jets battles with the Chrome gang.

Noah:But then... I think Divex made them just start firing on each other.

Noah:I just saw Mike walk through his sunglasses.

Josh:Do you have a migraine?

Jorge:Yeah, I think... There...

Mike:These aren't sunglasses.

Noah:so sorry oh

Tanner:They're blue light glasses.

Mike:No, they're not, because the brands are very weird if you want the clip-on variety.

Mike:These are migraine glasses.

Mike:Well, I have a headache.

Mike:But the lights in the office and the screens, I hate them.

Mike:So I'll try to wear these in the office tomorrow and see how weird it gets.

Noah:While Mike was blocking out the haters, he was also confusing the Chrome gang, so we just skipped that encounter and then went to a talk with some talk show.

Noah:An aspect of Immix was there.

Noah:Relentlessly bullied this man, as we do, to such a point where he stormed off the stage and we chased after him.

Jorge:Yeah, we followed him.

Jorge:I think Divex's lines to those punks were like, you don't understand the storm that blew through your window.

Jorge:And they're like, what do you want?

Noah:DiveX called upon Eldridge.

Jorge:And then they start attacking people and we're like, whoa, they're crazy, guys.

Mike:I can do that to everyone within 30 feet.

Josh:He imparted in them some knowledge that was so alien to their way of life that the only response they had was to start just wantonly murdering those around them.

Josh:Which is good for Divex to just have that ability to do to people.

Jorge:He just showed them Cthulhu and was like, figure it out.

Noah:We figured it out.

Noah:You guys figured it out too.

Josh:I mean, they do need to fail a save.

Mike:Okay, I can prompt them to fail a save.

Josh:Right, yeah.

Mike:Yeah, no, it's...

Jorge:I did.

Josh:It's just, you know, these were random people.

Josh:They were people who were angry with you for taking what they believed to be their prize.

Josh:I'm not saying they were good guys, but I am saying they weren't combatants in the traditional way that you have interacted with combatants in the past.

Mike:Oh, I was excited to use it.

Mike:I've been prepping mildly powerful, essentially incapacitation effects in the event that we run into someone low level during a heist or something, and I can just remove them.

Josh:Goodbye.

Mike:Yeah, that one I don't have to prep because it's a feat.

Mike:So it was very convenient.

Mike:I didn't have to do some hallucination or something to 10 people in the middle of this place.

Jorge:Yeah, I feared two one of them, and he's like, I guess we should still fight them.

Jorge:That was on him.

Jorge:He was dumb.

Josh:People get afraid and fight all the time.

Noah:Oh.

Noah:Yeah, apparently it's him.

Josh:It happens.

Josh:It's not if you frighten them once, they immediately run away.

Jorge:No, I'm not saying that you should have played it differently.

Josh:Because if that were the case, you guys would never fight anyone.

Josh:Because Lev would look at somebody, they would get frightened one because he has some feat that says if he's holding his sword, everybody in three miles is afraid of him.

Josh:And then they would leave.

Noah:Yep.

Noah:That's right.

Jorge:No, I'm not saying they shouldn't have tried.

Jorge:I'm just saying they deserved it.

Jorge:They had a warning.

Jorge:And they're like, no, I'll push through.

Josh:Nobody died.

Josh:They got arrested.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:Like, you know, all's well that ends well.

Josh:Regardless, that's a pretty good recap.

Jorge:Question.

Josh:Yeah?

Jorge:If some cops have cameras there and then they see this, could they see what Divex said and then also start hitting people?

Jorge:Is this just a... You could play videos of Divex saying something?

Josh:So they're... They're...

Josh:There are two parts to that question.

Josh:The first is there aren't cops in the setting.

Josh:And second is...

Josh:I think, I don't remember the exact wording of the feat, but I believe it only works on people he specifies.

Josh:You can't make out the words if you're not part of the selected group.

Josh:So it would look like on camera, just him, he says something, it appears garbled, and then ten random people in the crowd start freaking out.

Mike:So essentially, that means that it's not meant to be an info hazard.

Mike:You can't just create a piece of information that makes people tweak out.

Josh:No.

Mike:But can we extend it so that I can pick what other people observe it as if it's reproduced?

Josh:No.

Mike:OK.

Mike:If I give you five options, you can pick one of the five.

Josh:No?

Noah:It would be really funny.

Josh:What's the name of the feat?

Jorge:What are you thinking?

Mike:I just want, like, if someone sees it on a camera instead of garbled speech, it's just like, where'd you get your clothes?

Mike:The toilet store?

Mike:All right.

Josh:Oh, yeah, no.

Josh:You cannot use this feat to gaslight third parties.

Josh:That's not happening.

Josh:It would be.

Josh:No.

Josh:Mostly because I'm like imagining the situation where you somehow pair that with your from the bifurcated man once talked to everybody on Althane thing where it just sounds like Divex says to the world something ridiculous and then ten people just burst into flames across the globe.

Mike:i'll just have to say that after then so it's just like garbled speech and then where did you get your clothes the toilet store

Noah:Oh, we're good.

Josh:I'm not doing it.

Josh:Yeah, you can do that.

Josh:That's fine.

Jorge:Practice ventriloquy or whatever it is with the puppets.

Josh:Ventriloquist.

Jorge:Throwing your voice.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:All right, let's go bully that man.

Mike:Fair enough.

Josh:I'm trying to think if there's anything you missed in the recap that was important.

Jorge:He had 500 hitch points and had true seeing, I think.

Tanner:And true speech.

Josh:What?

Jorge:True speech.

Josh:Who were we talking about?

Jorge:Aspect of the mix.

Tanner:Thanks.

Noah:Oh, very important.

Josh:Oh!

Noah:Somewhere along the way, Lev picked up the ability to read hit points and made us all afraid for the entire session, but then gave it to Henrik.

Jorge:Yeah, yeah.

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:So now Henrik has the ability to read hit points, percentage of hit points, and active conditions.

Mike:I think Henrik, he instigated us attacking God, that guy has the most forgettable name in the library.

Jorge:I, again, just... Yeah.

Mike:The guy we attacked in the library because he had low hit points.

Josh:What?

Noah:In attack.

Josh:Oh, Rowan.

Mike:Rowan, Rowan.

Noah:See, I love hit points.

Jorge:I will also just want to clarify again.

Jorge:I also now have a feat that makes us run constantly under the effects of true sights and unseen spell, if rank.

Jorge:So I just didn't have that.

Mike:Terrifying.

Mike:Continue.

Tanner:I feel like maybe I shouldn't have been a fighter.

Josh:Yeah, apparently everybody should have been a thaumaturge.

Noah:Sounds like the best class.

Josh:Oh, this is Eyes of God.

Jorge:This wasn't a Thalma Church thing, though.

Jorge:This was from...

Jorge:A deal with Knox.

Josh:This is like the new War of Immortals thing.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:You guys can take these feats if you want to.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:It's not a thaumaturge thing.

Noah:Okay.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:This isn't Thelma Church.

Noah:This is him selling his soul.

Jorge:Yeah, literally.

Josh:Yeah.

Noah:I got it.

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:No, he did that.

Josh:That's fine.

Josh:Listen, it happens.

Noah:I've never sold my soul to any person in any setting, so... I got burned on the forehead and then just, like, dumped on repeatedly.

Josh:Right.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:Actually, the prices that Lev has gotten for selling his soul are way better than anything Dorcan ever got.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:To be fair, Lev never tried to steal something from Nox.

Tanner:you

Mike:Yeah, you got like... That's a feat.

Noah:Well, that's his issue is Lev doesn't have the audacity to steal from a god.

Josh:So...

Noah:That's where Lev's great.

Josh:What happens?

Noah:Lev may be able to do all this cool stuff, but at the end of the day, he doesn't have the audacity.

Josh:Okay, yeah.

Josh:I think Noah gets a hero point, or a mythic point, or whatever we're calling them.

Josh:And we pick up with you all were...

Josh:chasing, uh, Immix, uh, he kind of stormed off the stage a little bit.

Josh:You guys had a back and forth.

Josh:I don't think he was particularly happy, uh, with the back and forth that you were having.

Josh:Uh, so he walked backstage.

Josh:You all ignored the presenter, ignored the other hosts that were present for the seminar, ignored the, like, five other people.

Josh:who were in the room, who had actually come because they were interested in how media in media is neat, just stormed behind him, like, walked past everybody, opened up the curtain to go into the, like, dressing room setup area.

Josh:This place is a convention center.

Josh:It's not a theater, so it doesn't, like, open up into a bunch of dressing rooms.

Josh:It's instead...

Josh:Just, like, the same room that they kind of put a curtain in front of to segment it so that there was an area that people could get used to.

Josh:I'd like a perception check, please, as we get back here.

Tanner:Oh that's me.

Josh:Also, this is a chase, so I think we need something less lighthearted.

Jorge:I'll also make one.

Mike:Alright, he's got Eyes of God.

Mike:You have to beat him then.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:Oh, I would... Sorry, there was one thing from the recap we didn't go over.

Josh:You guys won $5,000 worth of implants.

Josh:you came up with a whole list of things you wanted, including some implants, you wanted to purchase some hacks and stuff, and Tech, the broker, sorry, right now is off getting that set up so that you guys can actually get all of the stuff installed and all of that.

Josh:But, you know, just to explain why you don't have Tech following with you as you go and chase down what's-his-face.

Jorge:So I rolled very poorly, but I also accidentally added an extra 2.

Jorge:So it's minus 2 to that.

Jorge:That's why I put an extra thing for counting.

Josh:I don't know where you rolled.

Jorge:So it's 34.

Josh:34.

Josh:OK.

Tanner:Out of 41.

Jorge:Thanks, Tanner.

Josh:41.

Josh:All right.

Josh:So looking around in this room, it's

Noah:you

Josh:table set up that looks like people have left bags and stuff off to the side before they went onto the stage.

Josh:A 41, the thing that catches your eye, and there is a thing that catches your eye, because Immix is not in this room.

Josh:In the time it took for you guys to get up on stage and pull back the curtains, he had already gone somewhere else.

Josh:And it is, I think, clear to you where he has gone.

Josh:Because there are a few exits in the room that you're currently in that look like they go to other parts of the convention hall.

Jorge:Oh no.

Josh:One of the doors has a symbol drawn on it.

Josh:It looks to be some kind of spiky rock.

Josh:It's got four spikes sticking out of it.

Josh:Drawn crudely in a style that you've seen similar styles before on other doors.

Josh:You would recognize this as it likely leads somewhere into the lighthouse.

Tanner:I don't know if we can do that.

Noah:I was about to say we go kill him.

Jorge:We don't do this.

Mike:Yeah, no.

Jorge:Why?

Jorge:Was Don about to say we go inside?

Jorge:Can we radio to tech?

Mike:Jesus.

Noah:We already started beating this guy.

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:Should you say they just want to give you a little update and ask an innocent question?

Jorge:So hypothetically, what if we found the talk show host from that lighthouse show?

Jorge:And we really hate his guts.

Jorge:And we see that he went back somewhere into the lighthouse.

Jorge:If we went in there to chase him and try to kill him, would you be able to extract us?

Josh:The door that you take to get in should work to get you back.

Josh:I imagine that's how he made it here.

Josh:Assuming you don't take on enough divine energy to become trapped by the lighthouse, yes.

Noah:I'm just worried that if we don't kill him right now, we're going to have to fight him midway through the fight.

Josh:So don't ascend while you're in there.

Tanner:I still don't think we should do it.

Tanner:I mean, unless you want to fight him in the lighthouse right now, like in his turf.

Jorge:I look at Davex.

Jorge:What do you think?

Mike:So we kill him.

Mike:The Lighthouse show gets a new host.

Mike:Probably won't be cancelled.

Mike:We're also going to go into the Lighthouse to fight him.

Mike:We do know he only has 500 or so hit points.

Mike:Oh.

Tanner:His aspect had 500 hit points here.

Tanner:You know what I'm saying?

Noah:Isn't it?

Tanner:Like, we don't know, you know, what he's now connected back to being in the lineup.

Mike:Yeah.

Mike:I think we should prep better for this.

Noah:I thought he...

Mike:This mildly kill-hungry.

Mike:Don't we want someone to watch and suffer the downfall of their own actions later on?

Jorge:I turn to the show.

Jorge:No, I turn to the just random wall.

Jorge:Like, I don't know.

Jorge:And I'm just like, we'll get you eventually, coward.

Josh:Roll the d100.

Mike:The narrative thinks we're talking to him!

Noah:Thank you.

Tanner:A 100 is instant death.

Jorge:32.

Jorge:Out of Lowe's...

Mike:You don't want a zero, I think.

Jorge:Wow, it must be so embarrassing to have to go hide from the people you were talking shit to.

Jorge:Immediately run away back into your house and go, ooh.

Jorge:So embarrassing.

Noah:Talking about sacrifice, run away, go hide back in your safe little lighthouse.

Jorge:And do all this talk about, oh, of course they're going to fail.

Jorge:Yeah, sure.

Noah:All he can do is talk.

Noah:He failed.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:I mean, he killed his best friends or siblings.

Jorge:I don't know what it was.

Jorge:He betrayed them.

Jorge:And then you can't even pick an honest fight.

Noah:I mean, you know, if he hadn't killed Sarex, we wouldn't have the holy... I'm going to look at the same wall.

Noah:If he hadn't killed Sarex, we wouldn't have the holy gold that we're going to use to kill his boss.

Josh:You're not rolling another D100 if that's what you're fishing for.

Noah:I'll wink.

Noah:So he really did us a favor.

Jorge:Yeah.

Noah:Yeah.

Jorge:All right.

Tanner:All right.

Tanner:We should go and get ready for our procedures.

Noah:Almost double-winked.

Noah:I asked if he won.

Noah:Okay.

Josh:OK?

Noah:Flip off the walls.

Josh:Absolutely.

Josh:You guys have really been laying into this random wall in this room.

Jorge:Wait, before we leave, Lev is going to turn around from this wall, quick disguise his face as Immix, and then just cry to the camera.

Josh:Absolutely.

Mike:I'm actually going to turn really quickly to the wall and go, boo!

Josh:OK.

Jorge:And then I'm going to take it off.

Josh:Absolutely.

Josh:Sure.

Noah:as we walk back out i'll just uh as we walk back out i'll take the mic from whoever is holding it and i'll turn one of the talk shows

Jorge:Sorry, I was just minding what you do to your boss all the time.

Jorge:Alright, let's go.

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:He's going to hate us so much more now.

Josh:What are you going to do now?

Josh:What are you doing?

Josh:You're done?

Jorge:Keep drawing photos of Phoenix.

Noah:So how'd you end up here?

Noah:What's your favorite part about being a talk show host?

Josh:Well, so you will find that as you guys come out onto stage, I need a deception check from you if you're actually trying to disguise yourself to look like Amex.

Jorge:I'm going to walk back out and then dress myself and it makes it come back out.

Josh:The rest of you will note that local security has been called and is here to escort you off-premises.

Tanner:That's fine.

Jorge:60.

Mike:Fair enough.

Noah:observed.

Mike:I don't think the security needs to know the secrets of the universe.

Jorge:I have a 60.

Josh:Okay.

Mike:We'll just go quietly.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:Is Immix going with?

Josh:I think Immix would probably also get escorted off the premises since he was a big part of the thing that you just did.

Josh:So all of you will... Two fully chromed out looking maybe orts?

Josh:Can't even tell at this point.

Josh:They've replaced so many parts of their body.

Josh:Will escort all of you if you don't resist.

Jorge:How many hit points do they have?

Josh:You don't know.

Josh:Oh, good for you!

Tanner:Oh, God, I made a promise.

Jorge:I'm looking at Hedrick.

Tanner:This is just brutal.

Tanner:I forgot the D. Josh, I got a 155.

Tanner:All right, we'll call it a 47.

Mike:Jesus Christ.

Noah:Oh.

Tanner:How's that sound?

Josh:They both have 275 hit points.

Josh:They are both at 100% health.

Josh:And I don't think they're under any effects right now.

Tanner:Deal break.

Josh:Oh, actually, they do both have fast healing 20.

Tanner:Oh.

Jorge:Was that a mod we could have bought?

Noah:Everyone.

Josh:No.

Josh:It's an implant.

Josh:It's not one that would have been available to you.

Jorge:Yeah, that's fair.

Noah:Everyone was playing just crazy.

Josh:Yes.

Josh:You guys are escorted from the premises.

Josh:So you find yourselves outside the center where Mediacon was happening.

Josh:You are just on the streets.

Josh:What are you doing?

Jorge:So how do I claim the ticket to get up there?

Tanner:Thank you.

Josh:So...

Josh:We didn't actually roleplay it, and I think it would be very funny to say that you guys managed to get yourselves kicked out before you actually claimed the ticket.

Mike:Thank you.

Josh:But I imagine you would have done so before immediately running off.

Josh:So I will say that you have already... You didn't, because you don't have the Chrome available to receive things like that.

Josh:So the broker would have done so on your behalf.

Jorge:All right, so what do we do?

Jorge:Do we just take the town?

Tanner:we currently don't have the faculties to pay for a yoga class but we are getting set up with that we have

Jorge:Do we go do some vigilante justice?

Noah:I guess we just... I thought you killed people for... Yeah, is there a yoga... Is there, like, a yoga studio around here?

Jorge:I don't know.

Jorge:What do good people do?

Jorge:I don't know.

Jorge:I've spent my life killing people.

Jorge:I don't know what good guys do.

Jorge:Do we do yoga?

Jorge:I heard yoga is good.

Mike:Yoga.

Josh:Roll a society check.

Noah:God, we can't pay for anything on this planet.

Josh:Correct.

Jorge:All right.

Tanner:The broker is working on setting us up with procedures.

Jorge:Well, I do have a little yurt that we can chill out in.

Jorge:Don repaired it.

Jorge:And that's about it.

Noah:and Europe for a little bit.

Mike:So, we wanted to go to a casino, but we need the implants for that.

Jorge:Anything else you guys want to do?

Jorge:We can go to our hotel room.

Mike:We could.

Josh:You do not need to yurt in the middle of the road.

Jorge:Alright, we'll go to our hotel room.

Josh:The broker has rented for you a crappy middle-of-nowhere motel, specifically because no one will ask questions.

Josh:But you do have a room.

Jorge:Alright.

Mike:Let's do standard adventure stuff.

Mike:Let's go to the room and then see if there's a tavern in the bottom of it and then ask the bartender if there's any rumors.

Noah:Yeah.

Jorge:I'm going to stop looking like Immix and just look like a slightly chromed guy.

Noah:We'll do that.

Josh:Okay, sure.

Josh:Yeah, so you guys, if you recall, it is a multi-hour trek to get back to where you were because you still don't have a wallet with which you can use to purchase transport.

Josh:But you did it the first time, so you could do it again.

Josh:You trudge your way... Yeah?

Mike:Well, I don't know.

Mike:Maybe we just want to head to a bar in our area then.

Mike:Then just bother people.

Jorge:Yeah, let's just do that.

Mike:Because then Tech can come back here.

Mike:I imagine the surgeon will hopefully be close.

Mike:Maybe it'll be near the hotel room.

Jorge:I don't know if we have to worry about tech getting places.

Mike:Well, us getting to where he is, though.

Jorge:I'm sure he could pick us up, but yeah.

Mike:Yeah, yeah, okay.

Noah:free rides from UberTech.

Josh:He didn't know that you were going to go off and walk.

Mike:Why didn't he just take us and fucking made us walk for like four hours?

Jorge:He's bribing someone.

Mike:Oh, right.

Josh:You did not inform him.

Jorge:You didn't know about Comic-Con either.

Josh:He said, look around the area, and he went off to talk to somebody, and then the next time you guys said you were getting in contact with him, you had already won the cosplay convention.

Tanner:It was a genius plan.

Josh:Okay, I just think it's crazy to say why he'd teleport us there.

Mike:He should be used to people moving this fast.

Noah:It was.

Noah:Yeah.

Josh:He didn't know you were going.

Josh:You didn't ask.

Noah:I can't believe you didn't tell.

Noah:That's kind of rude.

Mike:It's not something you ask.

Mike:It's something someone offers.

Mike:There's no cops.

Josh:Right, of course.

Jorge:There's no cops, yeah.

Josh:Terrible.

Josh:So you guys are looking around for just a bar in the area that you might be able to extract some information out of?

Tanner:yeah yeah i want to go to the salty spittoon

Noah:Yeah.

Josh:That is a perception or society check to try and find something.

Josh:And tell me, like, what kind of bar are you looking for?

Josh:Like, dive bar?

Josh:Like, cop bar?

Josh:Like, you know... Yeah, but there's hired muscle.

Josh:Like, there are... Individual companies will have their own private military forces.

Noah:Rough and tough.

Mike:Yeah.

Josh:Yeah, I don't know what kind of vibe you're going for, was the point.

Mike:Rough.

Mike:Tumble.

Mike:Beady.

Josh:Rough and tumble.

Mike:Underground.

Josh:Okay, absolutely.

Mike:If the entrance is only in a side alley, that's preferred.

Josh:Sure.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:You're not in the right part of town for that.

Tanner:I want the people there to have had a bowl of nails for breakfast.

Josh:I know this is a Spongebob reference.

Tanner:Without any milk.

Josh:I don't know how that could be a Spongebob reference, because I don't understand how milk would work underwater, but I know that's a Spongebob reference.

Josh:I... Is... That's not true.

Jorge:Well, milk's heavier, so it's fine.

Tanner:I rolled very poorly, so I got a 38 on my perception check.

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:I will also make a perception check.

Jorge:God damn it.

Jorge:I'm going to recede.

Tanner:Mine was 38.

Jorge:33 for mine.

Josh:Oh, wow.

Mike:Kicking our ass today, huh?

Josh:Crazy.

Josh:Okay.

Noah:Hey, Fran.

Tanner:We're gonna get jumped in an alley.

Mike:Good luck to them.

Jorge:I feel bad for those guys.

Mike:They're about to hear about the fucking universal forces knocking on the window of reality.

Josh:So...

Jorge:It's so much funnier when, like, face just comes out of just, like, green screen with these glasses.

Jorge:They're about to... They'd make it crazier if you were smoking and you just see massive clouds.

Noah:Hey, Fran.

Noah:Do you want to hear about the universal forces?

Mike:I don't have any I'm all out I ate the whole thing all the good is gone very upset I know

Tanner:Get a pretzel rod.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:So... Okay.

Jorge:He spends it on Gouda specialty.

Noah:Oh, no.

Noah:That's not good.

Noah:That's bad.

Jorge:That was Gouda.

Josh:With a 39, you have to wander a little bit as you're looking for specifically, what was it, a bar where people eat a bowl of nails with no milk?

Mike:Mm hmm.

Jorge:Yep.

Josh:But with the 39, you can just kind of keep walking in the direction that it seems like is worse.

Josh:And eventually you will end up in the part of town that has the kind of stuff that you're looking for.

Josh:Including a host of bars to choose from.

Jorge:host cool

Josh:I think that word means things unrelated to the context of a campaign that we're not playing yet.

Josh:I think it is kind of just a coin toss for you guys about which bar necessarily to go into, so you can just pick one at random.

Noah:Okay.

Josh:The one that you pop into is literally called Dive Bar.

Josh:That is the name of the bar.

Josh:The sign is this holographic rotating text that says Dive Bar, and there's a little icon of a splash of water, as if somebody had just dove into water.

Josh:You walk in.

Josh:It is...

Josh:Irrelevant what time it is, actually.

Josh:This bar is always going to be packed with people who are too drunk for whatever time of day it is.

Josh:It's seedy in here.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:It's dark.

Josh:There are lights set up that are either not at full brightness or haven't been replaced in an extended period of time and are flickering or starting to go out.

Josh:There is...

Tanner:um

Josh:A few booths off to the side that are open.

Josh:There is an open bar with some stools that are available.

Josh:Excuse me.

Josh:Without a perception check, just like looking at the seats themselves.

Josh:They're that kind of plastic that cracks over time because it gets brittle.

Josh:And they've just never replaced it.

Josh:And it's been years.

Josh:So it's kind of the exposed cushion underneath with just flecks of flaking plastic.

Josh:The person behind the bar isn't a person.

Josh:It is what looks to be... I mean, you guys have seen robots at this point.

Josh:It is a fully mechanical being.

Josh:They didn't spend the money on making it look like a person.

Josh:It's got wires and servos sticking off of a metal frame.

Josh:It's on rollers, like tank treads of some kind.

Tanner:That's not me.

Josh:But it's got maybe...

Josh:Actually, sorry, can I get an occultism check, please?

Mike:Absolutely.

Noah:Yeah, I'm probably going to Colt a little bit.

Jorge:John, is that you?

Jorge:Just a second.

Noah:I got a 28.

Jorge:I got a 23.

Jorge:Is it related to magic?

Mike:We limited it to her.

Josh:You are always limited to two.

Mike:Oh, well.

Tanner:Hello.

Noah:Yeah, I don't know.

Mike:Let's see.

Mike:I only have a piece.

Noah:Yeah, Divex.

Josh:No.

Mike:Fifty two.

Noah:That's much better.

Noah:Go with that one.

Josh:Um... Okay.

Josh:With a 52.

Josh:Um... It's got six arms, and the reason I had you roll an occultism check is specifically to see... You guys have interacted with beings that are six aligned in the past.

Josh:Um...

Josh:This thing has six arms.

Josh:That is interesting.

Josh:With that roll, this is unrelated.

Jorge:Oh, did this hit?

Josh:Completely unrelated.

Josh:There is no relationship between this and, not Thessines, the Autox, where the other six armed things, things from the Sundom are historically six-numbered.

Jorge:Mhm.

Josh:This, to you, appears to have no common ancestor.

Josh:Completely unrelated.

Josh:Had you rolled lower, you might have made a connection there.

Josh:With the roll that you got, there is none.

Jorge:Can you write this down in a good sketch so we can show this to Marzo or something?

Noah:Thank you.

Jorge:OK.

Josh:What do you want him to write down?

Jorge:I want him to sketch this thing for Marzo to see.

Josh:Oh, okay.

Jorge:Cool, cool, cool.

Jorge:So I guess these people kind of forked from the Sundom.

Jorge:And they said, nah, I ain't them anymore.

Jorge:I will be different.

Noah:It seems like they actively dislike the Sundom, but also can't really escape the roots.

Jorge:Yeah, it's almost like there was some reoccurring leitmotif.

Jorge:They linked them or something, but now it's no longer there.

Noah:Oh.

Jorge:Yeah, very crazy.

Jorge:I don't know how that works, though.

Noah:Now that we're at the bar, just chatting, I feel like we didn't really take... I don't know what you guys thought.

Noah:I was vomiting for three days.

Noah:We didn't really take the time to discuss all the crazy lore that the broker dropped on us.

Jorge:Yeah, let's get a table.

Jorge:I am not drinking any of the wine.

Jorge:I'm just drinking my vodka that won't get me drunk.

Jorge:It's the only thing I didn't sell because I just have an undisclosed amount of it and I don't want to make any currency off it.

Tanner:Mm hmm.

Jorge:It's just left stashed.

Josh:Absolutely.

Jorge:I could share it with you guys, but... Yeah, so... Yeah, so I still think...

Noah:Undisclosed Lev Vodka.

Jorge:Okay, so what do you guys want to do after this?

Jorge:Let's say we get the Feep, right?

Jorge:Let's say we fucking kill him.

Jorge:We kill Immix.

Jorge:What do we do?

Noah:I mean, I still would like to end the cycles.

Noah:I feel like that 13th Realm is also an immediate issue.

Jorge:So... So, quick question.

Jorge:Do you guys still dream anymore?

Tanner:um do we lose the threads by getting the hearts is that what happened so we don't

Noah:That's a great question.

Noah:Josh, to those of us who have had our friends cut, do we still dream?

Josh:No.

Josh:Nope.

Mike:None of us have our threads, right?

Noah:No, I don't dream.

Jorge:Yeah.

Noah:No.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:So we don't dream anymore?

Jorge:OK, so let me put you guys in this scenario.

Noah:Okay.

Jorge:Let's say I was having a really good dream.

Noah:I mean, if it's obvious, you wouldn't want to be in that anymore.

Jorge:Got eight hours of rest.

Jorge:Well, sorry, two hours of rest.

Jorge:We have to go.

Jorge:What do you do?

Jorge:Do you wake me up?

Tanner:If it's time to leave?

Tanner:Uh, yes.

Jorge:Yes.

Tanner:Because we can't just leave you there.

Jorge:What if it was a bad dream?

Jorge:Do you wake me up?

Tanner:Sure.

Jorge:OK.

Jorge:Counterpoint.

Jorge:We are ex-sundom people.

Jorge:We've been in this fake reality.

Jorge:We have fake friends.

Jorge:We fake everything.

Jorge:We've been asleep for a long time.

Jorge:I think it's time to wake up.

Noah:counter-counterpoint, I don't know if we are anymore, though.

Noah:Like, I have a full life.

Noah:Well, my entire world is destroyed.

Noah:I currently now have a full life.

Noah:I assume you guys do, too.

Jorge:But we all chose to go to sleep 600 cycles ago.

Jorge:I think it's time to wake up.

Noah:But I don't think that we went to sleep thinking we'd get woken up.

Noah:It was like a grand sacrifice, right?

Noah:I think when the experiment ends, we don't get woken up.

Jorge:Well, the plan was... We signed up for this.

Josh:So, yeah, to clarify, you guys have heard this.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:The plan was to wake you up once you ascended.

Josh:The idea is you keep doing a loop until somebody ascends and breaks the 13th realm and successfully escapes the lighthouse, because that was the benchmark for strong enough to kill a Thessian.

Josh:And at that point, your memories were supposed to be returned so that you could continue the good fight, which is why they didn't care how long it took, because eventually you would become your Sundom you again.

Jorge:I think...

Jorge:This experiment's never going to work.

Noah:Don't you think that's going to be horrible?

Jorge:I think it's time we activate.

Jorge:We work with the Sedecium folks.

Jorge:We kill the Thessians.

Jorge:We have a greater purpose than we signed up for a while ago.

Noah:All these people who wake up and maybe they have these great lives and all of a sudden they wake up and now they have 15 sets of memories.

Jorge:No, no, no.

Jorge:We only keep one.

Noah:I don't know.

Noah:That feels like killing an entire planet to me.

Tanner:Yeah.

Jorge:No, they're dreaming.

Jorge:We're dreaming.

Jorge:We signed up for this.

Jorge:We signed up to be woken up.

Jorge:We signed up to keep dreaming every time.

Jorge:I think it is time we wake up to fight these people.

Noah:I didn't.

Noah:I, Don, Big Fish, whoever, whatever you want to call me, I didn't sign up.

Noah:Some random Sundom dick did.

Noah:I don't want to be woken up.

Noah:I like my life now.

Tanner:Yeah, I am... We are not the Sundom.

Jorge:Do you?

Noah:I do.

Tanner:We're of all things.

Tanner:Look at his hand.

Tanner:Look at his hair.

Tanner:Look at my skin.

Tanner:This is Althane.

Tanner:It runs through us now.

Jorge:All right, what about we try to do Alfvén plus Sundom memories?

Jorge:You get both.

Mike:I don't... First off, I don't know if that would work.

Mike:Would that work with us?

Mike:I mean, we have divine energy that is currently crafting our threaded soul thing.

Mike:If we were to inject other people's memories, it would deform it.

Mike:So it would change as people.

Noah:I think we are, I think we personally are out of that, but I don't know.

Noah:I don't think that it's fair to all these people live in constant fear.

Jorge:Why not?

Noah:I think the best thing we can do is take that away.

Noah:Say the cycles are over.

Noah:Don't have to live in fear anymore and give them freedom.

Noah:They never got.

Tanner:Their experiences are real.

Tanner:They've lived a real life.

Jorge:Eh, it's 635.

Noah:Yeah, don't you think that 635 lifetimes that they didn't get to live to completion?

Noah:I lived through the end of a cycle.

Noah:It's horrible.

Jorge:Yeah, we're not going to do that again.

Jorge:We'll skip the cycle.

Noah:We'll end the cycle?

Jorge:Yeah, we turn it off.

Noah:I don't think... Okay, counter, counter, counterpoint.

Jorge:Give everyone memories back.

Jorge:People aren't happy in all things.

Jorge:Nothing sucks, guys.

Noah:Don't you think it's worse if all these people who are...

Jorge:See ya.

Noah:crew or part of a greater empire who are so loyal to the sundom wake up and find out they lost they've been stuck on a planet for hundreds of thousands of years the fight's over everything they believed in is dead don't you think that's just as bad

Jorge:They'll get the chance to continue the fight.

Mike:I think it's even worse.

Mike:You have to imagine, the people that sacrificed themselves to take part in the Althane experiment are probably some of the most loyal to the Sundom.

Mike:If we wake them up, they're going to see us as enemies because we stopped the experiment.

Mike:We stopped Sundom's progress in the War.

Jorge:We'll be waking ourselves up, but it's not going to work.

Noah:I am... Some of your points, ending the cycles and freeing Althane, totally your fault.

Jorge:And I think they could understand that.

Jorge:Or do you think there's a way that we could try to?

Mike:Wow.

Jorge:I think we need to work with Sedizium, to be honest with you.

Jorge:There's greater things at point.

Noah:working with Sedecium to kill Harrow, because that sounds terrifying, totally here for.

Noah:I think Althane deserves a rest.

Noah:I think that we have one of those powerful computers in existence.

Noah:I think that the 13th realm?

Jorge:Who's evil?

Noah:I don't think it's good or bad.

Jorge:Oh, sorry.

Jorge:I was talking about the other powerful one.

Jorge:The one on Illyara.

Mike:Crystal Point Lettuce.

Jorge:Crystal Point.

Noah:Oh, yeah, we'll deal with that too, but that's like a later thing.

Tanner:Thank you.

Josh:you

Noah:I think that we have the resources to give all things a break.

Noah:And I think that we deserve that.

Jorge:Oh.

Jorge:I guess.

Jorge:But...

Noah:You know, there's a lot of other, I think the Sedecium has resources we need to keep our planet safe.

Noah:You know, that's what you want to do with the bats, right?

Noah:Work in the darkness for the light.

Jorge:Yeah, but let's be honest here.

Jorge:If we stop all of this, a risk is still going to exist.

Jorge:They're still going to be putting people into camps.

Jorge:They're still going to be poor people.

Jorge:All of these other countries are still going to be fighting.

Noah:you

Jorge:They're still going to be poor people.

Jorge:We're not going to be united under a single banner.

Noah:We don't think that's going to happen if... I have seen fractionalization and balkanization.

Noah:If we wake all these people up and say, hey, the empire's gone, the people who are already in charge are going to go, oh, well, screw that.

Noah:Or some other demagogue is going to show up or some other hyper-powerful person is going to show up and it's going to become just as bad, if not worse than what's already there.

Noah:Right now, we understand the structure and we are in a position...

Noah:to make positive change.

Noah:And maybe CCM can help, or maybe we have to do that on our own.

Noah:But I think upending everything is not going to work out.

Tanner:Right.

Tanner:We build a better all thing.

Noah:Make the whole thing great again.

Mike:Why don't we ask Sedecium?

Tanner:Well.

Mike:I mean, if we're looking for entrance into some Union of Spheres, we should ask them, hey, we have millions of people with pent-up memories from the Sundom.

Mike:Do we give them back, or would you prefer to join the Union of Sedecium with the current cycle?

Jorge:Well, they did say that we can't speak for them.

Jorge:And also, I don't know what impression you got from this tech guy.

Jorge:I don't think he's going to tell us what to do.

Jorge:I think he's going to be like, you guys have to make the decision.

Jorge:But I don't know.

Jorge:I feel like that's what he's going to say.

Noah:That is the impression.

Noah:That's exactly what he sounded like.

Jorge:He's not going to tell us, you have to pull the band-aid off and kill all of these people.

Josh:Well, actually, just to jump in here a little bit, the one thing that has been said from Tech on this particular conversation is that it sounds like reverting everybody back to their Sundom personalities is murder of the whole planet.

Jorge:All of their memories.

Josh:Like, that is the one opinion that Tech has expressed so far.

Josh:72.

Jorge:They've been murdered 600-something times.

Noah:Yeah.

Josh:You were on cycle 72.

Mike:year.

Jorge:OK, they've been murdered 72 times.

Noah:So, why murder them a 73rd time?

Jorge:Because this is fake.

Noah:No, this is... Every single person has lived a real life on this planet.

Noah:And I don't think it's fair to take that away because of some decision that someone made.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:Let's do a little exercise.

Jorge:Raise your hand if you had a good upbringing.

Jorge:Liars.

Jorge:You guys had terrible lives.

Jorge:You got outcast by your own country.

Noah:You said you have a nice upbringing.

Jorge:You got framed for theft.

Jorge:Your country all died, okay?

Jorge:We were there.

Jorge:I wasn't there.

Jorge:But everyone else was there.

Mike:So.

Noah:I really loved my family until they were killed by moon robots.

Jorge:Sorry.

Jorge:You guys have lived such short lives.

Josh:you you

Jorge:I forgot.

Jorge:Sorry.

Jorge:How was your lives before this?

Jorge:You were 30-something years?

Jorge:I don't know how old you guys are.

Jorge:100?

Jorge:I don't know.

Jorge:They sucked.

Jorge:You guys got framed.

Jorge:There's poor people.

Jorge:Death.

Jorge:All of this.

Mike:I wasn't poor or dead.

Mike:And I had a very normal, standard upbringing until I was forced to leave my country.

Jorge:You were framed?

Mike:So the upbringing part was framed for stealing things.

Jorge:Why were you first to leave your country?

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:Okay, yeah, yeah.

Jorge:So sorry.

Jorge:So not upbringing.

Jorge:I'm sorry.

Jorge:I've lived a lot longer than you guys.

Jorge:I still think you're children.

Mike:I am.

Jorge:Just your lives, you know?

Jorge:Everyone sucks.

Jorge:I don't know a person that's had a good life here.

Noah:Thank you.

Jorge:Do you know one?

Mike:You know who you sound like?

Jorge:Who do I sound like?

Mike:You sound like... You sound like someone that we killed several months ago.

Jorge:Really smart man?

Josh:Thank you.

Mike:This was a man who removed negative memories from people's heads and claimed he was doing good.

Jorge:Who is this?

Tanner:Oh, I remember him.

Jorge:I don't remember this guy, I'm gonna be honest with you.

Tanner:Yeah, no, you weren't there.

Mike:You weren't there.

Tanner:Marzo would remember.

Jorge:Oh, so what happened to this gentleman?

Mike:He was actively brainwashing his population by removing the negative memories and claiming his sedated population was much happier with him in power.

Jorge:Okay.

Mike:And many of us argued that is it not the negative experiences that make people who they are?

Jorge:So what happened after you killed him?

Jorge:Was everyone cheering for you guys?

Jorge:Because you saved them?

Mike:You're missing the point.

Jorge:No, no, no.

Jorge:I wasn't there.

Jorge:I don't know what happened.

Mike:You're missing the point.

Jorge:Were they cheering for you guys?

Mike:Regardless of the result, the artificialness of the happiness... It's not supposed to be good.

Jorge:Did they do a parade for you guys?

Jorge:Oh, they didn't like it, did they?

Tanner:We made it bad in the short term.

Jorge:Were they really?

Tanner:We did make it bad in the short term.

Jorge:Oh, did it get better?

Jorge:Where was this place?

Mike:You're missing the point.

Mike:It's not supposed to be good.

Mike:It's supposed to be real.

Jorge:Oh, so you guys are just trying to optimize for sadness.

Noah:So your plan is we kill everyone, give them these new lives, throw the entire planet into chaos, or we have a structure that we understand.

Jorge:Not new lives, original lives.

Noah:We are in a position that no one else on Althane, except maybe Kharkov, actually no one else, because we want to actually do good.

Noah:Kharkov is dead, and he wanted to do good in the worst way possible.

Jorge:Carcob's dead, too.

Josh:And car clubs, too.

Noah:We want to do good...

Noah:in a better way, without mind-controlling everyone.

Noah:Everyone we run into wants to mind-control all of Althane.

Noah:We have technology that no one else on Althane does.

Noah:We have knowledge of the Astra that no one else does.

Noah:We have the resources and the path to make a better way for Althane that we can do.

Noah:I grew up my entire life wanting to save Althane.

Noah:I couldn't save my Althane.

Jorge:OK.

Noah:I want to save your Althane.

Jorge:Yeah, we can save it.

Mike:As far as I'm concerned, it is both fate and deliberation that this cycle is the one that breaks us out.

Jorge:We will wipe the safe clean.

Noah:No, you're trying to save...

Mike:And I think the people that participated in this cycle have a right to keep their memories.

Mike:And only these memories.

Jorge:OK, sorry to just keep harping on it.

Jorge:I'm just curious at this point.

Jorge:What did happen to the city that this guy lived in that you killed?

Mike:Oh, the artificially propped up city by the refining of beast blood?

Josh:You guys... You would also be aware that there is another settlement being constructed on the borders of that blood lake that does have people in it.

Mike:Yeah, it collapsed because it was no longer being powered by a process that is actively strengthening the thing we're trying to kill.

Jorge:OK.

Mike:So...

Jorge:So then we built a machine on top of it to then get more blood?

Jorge:Yeah.

Noah:you you

Mike:Yeah, but that's, we trust that guy.

Josh:I'm refusing to call it by its name.

Josh:But it is there.

Jorge:Oh, yep, yep.

Jorge:So, you know, okay.

Jorge:Matter.

Josh:Like, that is something that Lev would be familiar with.

Josh:I don't know if he's purposefully ignoring it for the sake of argument.

Jorge:She's playing dumb because they're literally like, no, no, this is such a good idea.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:Sure.

Jorge:We've done it before and everyone fucking hated us for it.

Josh:Absolutely.

Josh:I do really like the Jorge character arc of always agreeing with Grimm, specifically.

Josh:Just, Jorge is a big Grimm fan, and all of his characters are also Grimm fans.

Jorge:Desmond would not be.

Jorge:That's where he had to go.

Mike:Jorge?

Josh:Yeah, Desmond stops being a player character at level 2.

Mike:Jorge killed off Desmond because he could see the wave of Grimm coming.

Mike:He's like, I have to support him and this character won't.

Jorge:I don't want to keep this on the table.

Noah:I...

Jorge:We don't have to decide now.

Jorge:If you guys are not willing to change memories back to the original people that signed up to do all this stuff so we can try to save the greater good and end all suffering on our plans, if you don't want to do that, can we at least agree to maybe we don't have to do a whole other... I don't know.

Jorge:conquest or campaign of this, but can we just, like, try to kill all the leaders of Althane and then, you know, rebuild it well?

Jorge:Kill the bad leaders of Althane?

Mike:A better way to phrase it.

Noah:Is it another continent?

Jorge:Because we'll need to kill the Oreskians.

Jorge:We need to kill most of the governments.

Jorge:We'll need to kill the Crystal Point Lattice.

Jorge:We will then need to kill everyone who agrees with them.

Jorge:Dairope seems good.

Jorge:We have a guy there.

Jorge:We're going to need to kill the Admiral.

Jorge:We're going to need to storm the 13th Realm and retake it over.

Jorge:And, um,

Jorge:I don't even know about the other continent.

Jorge:I've never been there.

Jorge:So I don't know if we need to go kill those people too.

Josh:I haven't been there, so I don't know if we can kill them.

Jorge:I'm not rolling it out.

Noah:Wait, there's another continent on this planet?

Josh:Sorry.

Jorge:Yeah.

Noah:Dawn is...

Jorge:Remember it was mushroom-y?

Jorge:We were like, oh, maybe the mushroom people came from there.

Tanner:Yeah.

Josh:Don would have seen the coast of the other half of the planet from Oresk.

Josh:Like, I think he would be aware of it.

Mike:What's it called?

Mike:What's it called, Josh?

Tanner:You can't call it what they used to call it.

Josh:Yeah, exactly.

Josh:It has an official name.

Mike:What if Josh just broke out like an insane accent?

Josh:We can't say it.

Josh:It's not politically correct.

Jorge:Yeah.

Mike:Like he just did a full 180 from not wanting to say it to just horrifically offensive.

Noah:The French... I think the real enemy here is the French.

Josh:It's not my fault.

Josh:The French just are inherently racist sometimes, but they also come up with cool names.

Josh:Yeah!

Mike:That's true.

Noah:That's what I'm hearing.

Jorge:That's why they're in Pathfinder.

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:Well, listen, apparently so is 1800s Russia.

Jorge:Okay.

Josh:So...

Jorge:Yeah, so Lev's going to pull out this kind of exhaustive list of just like political things that he thinks would disagree with us that we might need to kill.

Jorge:So, you know, just like, I just want you guys to agree that in case I don't make it out of here, you guys consider, you know, killing all these people.

Noah:We'll consider it, but I think killing every single one of these people is not the answer either.

Jorge:Let's push the door.

Noah:I think that there is a way to gently guide all things in a positive direction without murdering everyone.

Noah:No.

Jorge:You're starting to sound like you're suggesting mind control.

Josh:Lev would be such a fan of Luigi.

Noah:No.

Josh:I'm sorry.

Jorge:You would.

Jorge:You're like, gently push people without killing them.

Jorge:Mind control.

Noah:No.

Noah:Mind control is...

Jorge:That's what you're describing.

Noah:Law and control is taking away people's wants and needs.

Noah:Gently pushing them is introducing technology at the right time.

Jorge:That's a type of mind control.

Mike:I've...

Noah:It's, okay, maybe we do need to off this dude.

Noah:It's stopping natural disasters before they happen.

Noah:We have unprofitable power.

Jorge:You're starting to sound like an operative.

Noah:Maybe a little technology.

Noah:Maybe a little propaganda.

Josh:When a person at a store convinces me to buy something, mind control.

Jorge:When you're doing it to an entire country to suddenly do it by releasing technology at good points.

Noah:Don't minimize the entire planet.

Josh:Not mind control.

Jorge:All of that.

Noah:Not one country.

Noah:Don't minimize my mind control.

Noah:Yeah.

Jorge:Sorry, sorry.

Jorge:Mass propaganda.

Jorge:All right.

Jorge:I'm just letting you know in case I don't make it out of here.

Jorge:I want you guys to take care of this.

Noah:While we're talking about making it out of here, Lev, you good?

Noah:What's up with Knox, man?

Jorge:Yeah, what do you mean?

Jorge:Yeah, you know, I made the deal because I thought we were getting hunted and harassed.

Jorge:And I do think I sold my soul.

Jorge:So I don't know if I'm going to make it out of this.

Jorge:And if that happens, you guys have to continue on.

Tanner:I can do surgery on your soul.

Noah:But this is an alternative.

Jorge:I don't know if this surgeon could cut this off of me, but I doubt it.

Noah:Other question.

Noah:Well, will you just cut your arm off and then I'll give you a new one that also works.

Noah:Soul surgery.

Noah:Well, if we kill Knox, do you die?

Jorge:I don't think so.

Jorge:I think I would get out of it.

Jorge:Also, my other backup plan was maybe swallowing the other bloods, and then maybe it cancels out the Nox influence.

Jorge:I don't know how that would work.

Noah:We do have one needle, which... That means we can take out one... Thessian.

Jorge:Or you guys can save them.

Jorge:I don't think I'm worth the needle.

Tanner:Oh, no, we don't need the needle for you.

Noah:Hey.

Mike:Yeah, no, we weren't thinking about this.

Noah:It's not you, it's...

Jorge:No, no, no.

Jorge:I mean for Nox.

Jorge:I mean, you don't have to kill Nox for me, guys.

Tanner:All right.

Tanner:Let me do a check for how many hit points Lev has.

Josh:That is so funny.

Josh:Everybody at the same time is like, oh no, not for you.

Tanner:I got a 52.

Jorge:I bet on behalf of me, damn, you guys don't even care about me.

Noah:Lev attacks everyone in the bar in three actions.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:The way that it's described, it's like Yondu's arrow from Guardians of the Galaxy.

Josh:Lev chucks his sword and it just runs through everybody in the entire bar that returns back to his hand.

Mike:So what, it has to do with some fucking traveling salesman problem?

Jorge:357, Tanner.

Josh:Yes.

Josh:Yeah, well... No.

Mike:Or risk moving faster than the speed of light?

Jorge:You're sighting unseen.

Josh:Thaumaturges have solved the traveling salesman problem.

Josh:They do it in linear time.

Noah:No.

Jorge:Constant time, actually.

Jorge:Always six seconds.

Josh:Right, it's always correct.

Josh:It's immediately correct.

Jorge:Yeah, so, you know, just letting you guys know this.

Jorge:Yeah, you'll know.

Jorge:I will also say, if I try to kill all of you guys, it was Nox, it wasn't me.

Jorge:I love you guys.

Jorge:Most of the time.

Mike:convenient.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:Lev turns the piece of paper that he was showing with the list of things to kill, and your names are on it, but you're kind of low down.

Jorge:This is in case you guys turn, you know?

Mike:It's like different handwriting.

Noah:Under dive, that's just a heart echo.

Mike:He wrote it with his left hand and be like, oh, it was Knox.

Mike:Knox wrote it.

Mike:It's just super messy.

Jorge:He has all your weaknesses down there.

Josh:Thank you.

Tanner:Hello.

Jorge:Batman was a thaumaturge.

Jorge:Alright, so... And chocolate.

Mike:Sorry.

Mike:Guys, we have to go in that building.

Jorge:Alright, so...

Jorge:Okay, so, you know, I really got moved when I saw Kharkov's quarters.

Jorge:And he pulls out again.

Jorge:I don't know why he kept this, the little photo of the baby, of the two kids.

Jorge:You know, he tried to do the right thing.

Jorge:He shipped.

Jorge:He did it the bad way.

Jorge:So we need to make sure we try to do that.

Noah:Worst way possible.

Mike:This has got to be studied.

Mike:Aren't you very anti-Oresk?

Mike:We just went at the king of the secret state.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:What about it?

Mike:And you're like, I have this memento from him.

Mike:He was so touching in his mission.

Tanner:Thank you.

Jorge:No, no, no, no, no, no.

Jorge:So he thought he was doing the right thing.

Jorge:I just want to make sure we are not getting clouted by this by being like, we can't wake people up.

Jorge:You know?

Jorge:Yeah, me.

Mike:Yeah.

Mike:I mean, I don't know.

Noah:Attention all Thane.

Mike:Maybe we'll set up booths and people can view their previous memories and decide if they want them.

Jorge:Or we could use our message from the bifurcated man to

Jorge:Try to do some poll.

Josh:Thank you.

Noah:You're all living a lie.

Noah:Come talk to me.

Tanner:Thank you.

Mike:We have deposited in the oceans of Althane the cure to receive all of your memories.

Mike:Drink one gallon of seawater in order to become part of the sun.

Josh:Can I have everybody make a stealth check, please?

Noah:you cut out I

Josh:Stealth.

Jorge:A what check?

Mike:What check?

Josh:Stealth check.

Mike:See, you cut out, but I read your lips, and I was like, they didn't ask for a stealth check.

Jorge:That's literally what happened with me too.

Jorge:I got a 40 natural 20.

Jorge:Yeah, Noah shits 40s.

Jorge:He gets a 1 and he gets a 50.

Jorge:So, you know, it's not impressive for him, but for me.

Mike:Damn.

Mike:This is definitely a Jorge reseed.

Mike:He gets a crit and no one gets above a five.

Noah:Don't you have like a plus 40,000 to lying?

Noah:You have like a plus 45 to costumes.

Jorge:I got 40 crit.

Tanner:Bad.

Mike:I want the crits.

Josh:What do we get?

Noah:Bad.

Noah:I got a 38.

Josh:Bad?

Jorge:Everyone else shouldn't be bad.

Josh:Okay.

Tanner:I got a 26.

Josh:Okay.

Mike:and a 30.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:All right.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:All right, continue on.

Tanner:Cool.

Tanner:I want to...

Tanner:just kind of listen uh around the room um we came here to try to find a rumor or are we just being stupid about that

Jorge:We'll just wait for...

Mike:We're the ones creating the rumors from what I can gather about the stealth check.

Mike:Can you imagine if you were eating McDonald's and you heard someone from the thing over?

Mike:Yeah, then we just killed the head of the CIA on a different planet.

Mike:Schizophrenic people are at the table next to you talking about releasing memories of the Sundom back into the population.

Noah:I have a very important question.

Noah:Is Lev still dressed as Tarv?

Josh:Lev, are you still dressed as Tarv?

Jorge:Well, I would have gone out of my disguise.

Josh:Oh, no, you aren't.

Jorge:No, no, no, no.

Jorge:Yeah, I'm not.

Josh:Right, because you changed out of Tarv to look like Imex.

Jorge:To then look like a normal Chroma guy.

Josh:And then, yeah, and then you said you were changing your disguise to look like just a random Joe Schmo.

Jorge:That'd be really funny if I was with arms and guns.

Mike:He's walking down the street.

Mike:Someone's like, Joe?

Mike:Joe Schmoe?

Josh:See, the thing is, Tarv looks more like the average guy on this planet than the rest of you do.

Jorge:Yeah.

Noah:We just came from MediaCon, so...

Josh:So... Yeah.

Josh:You did.

Josh:Yeah, no, it is very much like if you go to a diner outside of, like, PAX East and you just see Samus eating the burger.

Josh:But it happens.

Josh:Okay, so, sorry.

Josh:What are you doing?

Jorge:We're just waiting for deck.

Tanner:No, we're just going to wait until we're ready for our procedures.

Jorge:It's got to be done.

Josh:You're just waiting.

Noah:Okay, guys.

Tanner:Yeah.

Josh:Okay.

Noah:So if you were part of this original tech crew that he was apparently part of, who do you think you would be in that group?

Jorge:Yep.

Jorge:Deck.

Noah:I feel like I'd be tech.

Jorge:Yeah, that makes more sense.

Mike:Really?

Mike:No.

Jorge:No, you mean the Dorcan guy?

Noah:Do you think you'd be the big fish guy?

Noah:Which one was he?

Mike:The, like, the... Yeah, the cow thing?

Josh:No, that's the cow guy.

Noah:Is he the cowboy?

Jorge:Yeah, the kill guy.

Mike:No.

Noah:You don't think he'd be the cowboy?

Mike:No.

Mike:The cow guy seemed to have... I don't know.

Noah:I did get that vibe from him too.

Jorge:Yeah, you'd be the fish guy.

Mike:Based on what we heard, it's... Yeah.

Jorge:You'd be the big fish, not confused with this big fish.

Josh:Yes.

Mike:True.

Mike:I don't know.

Jorge:Yeah.

Mike:That cow guy seemed power hungry.

Mike:He ascended.

Mike:He became a higher kind at the end.

Mike:It seems like he had a large attachment to power and worldly possessions.

Tanner:I think probably I'd be the big strong guy with the shield that likes to heal people.

Mike:So, the old man...

Jorge:Yeah, I think that'd be you.

Josh:yeah the setup a cow, a fish, a robot and an old man walk into a bar is it sounds like a bad joke but it is actually what happened

Jorge:I think you'd be that old guy.

Jorge:I don't think I'd be there.

Noah:The old guy they wouldn't let die?

Mike:the bar shakes with their power as they walk in.

Jorge:Yeah.

Mike:Just a bunch of fucking morons.

Mike:Hey, let's get a drink.

Jorge:Yeah, I don't think I'd be one of them.

Jorge:Maybe the cow guy?

Jorge:I don't know.

Jorge:I don't think so.

Jorge:I guess I have the most god of all of us.

Jorge:I'm very godly.

Josh:While you guys are having this conversation, are you at the bar, or did you find a booth?

Noah:Thank you.

Jorge:Oh, I thought we grabbed a little table.

Mike:We grabbed a table, yeah.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:That's fine.

Josh:As you're having this conversation, one of the people who are around the bar just sits down at the booth with each of you.

Jorge:OK.

Josh:I'd like a perception check, please.

Jorge:I will make a check.

Tanner:Oh, that's me.

Jorge:46.

Tanner:48.

Noah:this dude who just sat with us.

Josh:Cool.

Jorge:Damn it.

Mike:You got to let me roll against him one of these times.

Jorge:I will.

Jorge:Just one quick thing.

Jorge:If this perception check is to sense motive or perceive lies, I get a plus 4 to that.

Jorge:46.

Josh:You don't.

Jorge:OK.

Jorge:I don't know.

Josh:He hasn't said anything.

Josh:How could you be detecting lies?

Jorge:I don't know if I was sensing his motives.

Jorge:I don't know.

Noah:Vibe check.

Josh:Traditionally, that also requires talking to somebody for a minute.

Josh:Regardless.

Josh:Not happening right now.

Josh:So what was the highest role?

Tanner:48?

Josh:The guy that sits down at the bar with you doesn't particularly stand out in a crowd.

Josh:Assuming the crowd are people from this planet.

Josh:A little hulking.

Josh:Clearly has had some work done.

Josh:Replaced some of his muscles with synthetic muscles.

Josh:Face is a metal faceplate.

Josh:But not particularly... He's non-costume, like the rest of you clearly are.

Josh:Um...

Josh:With the 48, I think the thing that you do notice is there's nothing else to notice.

Josh:Specifically, there's no idle chatter happening in the bar right now.

Josh:You guys were the only ones talking.

Josh:And you may have been the only ones talking for some period of time.

Noah:you you

Josh:The person who sits down with you at the booth looks at each of you, has like a faux smirk smile thing going on.

Josh:You can't actually tell if he's actually making that expression, or whatever servo that powers his mouth just hasn't been tuned in a while, and he just can't get it out of that expression.

Josh:But after looking at each of you, assuming none of you immediately say something, he will say...

Jorge:I just want to clarify.

Jorge:There's nothing that seeUnseen or Truesight would see, right, in here?

Josh:Uh, correct.

Jorge:Within 60 feet.

Josh:Nobody's invisible around.

Jorge:OK.

Josh:Nobody's an illusion.

Josh:Um, just this guy.

Jorge:No polymorphs.

Jorge:Cool.

Josh:Yeah, no polymorphs.

Josh:Everybody is who they appear to be.

Josh:Uh, the look at each of you.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:Yes.

Tanner:I want to send a quick thought through Schism.

Josh:Okay.

Tanner:Mostly aimed at Levmir the Silver Tongue.

Josh:Uh-huh.

Tanner:Tell him we're working on a new screenplay.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:I was about to... So, Ferent, do you have a moment for us to try running some lines by you?

Jorge:We're trying to do this new screenplay.

Jorge:We just got inspired from this comic show.

Jorge:I don't know.

Josh:He will look to you because you start talking and his mouth hinges open and sound plays out of it without him actually moving the mouth or the tongue or anything.

Josh:It's like he has a speaker in his throat that just makes sounds.

Mike:We almost had him.

Josh:And you hear emanate out of the larynx.

Josh:You have said three forbidden words.

Josh:These words are copyrighted by the Omnivox Corporation and you are not permitted to say them in public.

Noah:Which words?

Josh:I cannot repeat the words because the words are forbidden.

Noah:Like a list?

Noah:Exactly.

Jorge:We will not do it again.

Jorge:Thank you for flagging it with us.

Josh:You do have to pay the requisite fines.

Jorge:How much?

Josh:It is 18,000 creds per infraction.

Josh:You said banned words 212 times.

Noah:Oh, shit.

Jorge:Lev is going to look around.

Josh:They're all looking at you.

Josh:Everybody in the bar is facing directly at you.

Tanner:Josh, I have a question.

Tanner:So you had me roll a perception check.

Jorge:I'm going to lean.

Tanner:I guess was it for the room?

Josh:Yeah.

Tanner:I'm wondering if I could have this man's hit points.

Josh:It was for the room.

Josh:I will give you this man's hit points.

Josh:This man has 245 hit points.

Tanner:Oh, gonna be hard.

Josh:He has full hit points, and he is currently under the compelled condition.

Noah:you

Mike:Josh, about how far is the furthest wall from divex?

Josh:Um... Well...

Josh:One second.

Jorge:I'm starting to think we shouldn't get these implants.

Josh:The furthest wall is 40 feet away.

Josh:Yeah, probably.

Mike:OK, so if I had something that worked in a 30-foot emanation, I could get most of the bar.

Josh:I mean, if you want, you could just go to https://btl.iridi.cc.roody.cc and you can visualize the bar.

Noah:DTL.ready-cc.

Josh:You don't need me to relay it to you.

Mike:Visualize the bar.

Noah:DATA-CC.

Josh:Dot CC, do not dash.

Josh:What is C in Morse code?

Mike:This is Morse code.

Jorge:I'm going to lean forward and say to the man, I'm so sorry.

Jorge:It's nothing personal.

Mike:And then I imagine that is Divex's cue.

Mike:This time, he's not going to do it in common.

Mike:Divex is going to speak.

Mike:Jotun is Giant?

Josh:Jotun is Giant.

Mike:What does it sound like?

Mike:Oh.

Josh:No, actually, it's very eloquent.

Josh:It's almost sing-songy, because it needs to be heard from the tops of mountains.

Mike:How about... How about undercommon?

Mike:Is that like...

Josh:Undercommon is... Have you ever heard Xhosa, the African language with clicks and stuff in it?

Noah:you

Mike:Yeah.

Josh:I like that.

Mike:I don't know if that's going to be scary enough.

Mike:How about Orcish?

Josh:Sorry.

Mike:Is Orcish a scary language?

Josh:Orcish is very guttural.

Mike:Perfect.

Mike:So Divex will turn to everyone in the bar that is not his compatriots and say, you know, we're terribly sorry.

Mike:Next time we're thinking of, you know, saying some sort of copyrighted word, we're instead going to say, you know, and Divex is going to say, this is translated to common, he's going to say,

Tanner:Bye.

Mike:The winds of change are blowing harder than your sails can muster.

Josh:Okay, absolutely.

Mike:And use this... Oh, I attempt an occultism check and compare it to the Will DC of everyone.

Noah:Thank you.

Jorge:Can I put on my eye wraps while this happens?

Josh:Sure.

Jorge:Cool.

Josh:I gave him an action, so you get an action as well.

Josh:What do I have to roll for these people?

Josh:Oh, okay, absolutely.

Mike:Every enemy.

Jorge:I'll use the bathroom.

Jorge:And everyone will need that looks at me for the first time, including my compatriots.

Jorge:Need to make a will save.

Jorge:37.

Josh:Okay, so this person claims that you're violating some copyright infringement.

Tanner:Thank you.

Noah:Bye.

Josh:So Divex casts confusion on the whole bar.

Josh:And Lev puts on a mask that is so scary that even you guys have to make saves against it.

Josh:Great.

Mike:So I rolled a 48.

Mike:Disturbing knowledge.

Josh:48.

Josh:Absolutely.

Josh:I believe that is a critical success against all of them.

Josh:That is.

Josh:Okay, so what is this?

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:What's it called?

Mike:You utter a litany of dreadful names, prophecies, and descriptions of realms beyond moral comprehension.

Mike:Draw from your study for blah, blah, blah.

Mike:Even those who don't understand your language are unsettled by these dire secrets.

Mike:Attempt an occultism check, blah, blah, blah.

Mike:Oh, these specific creatures are immune for 24 hours.

Mike:So if any of those knuckle-draggers from earlier at the con are here, they're immune, but I don't imagine they're at this bar.

Josh:They're not.

Mike:So yeah, crit successes, they become confused for one round and frightened one.

Josh:Okay, absolutely.

Josh:I'll have to apply that to all of them.

Noah:I'll just go into overdrive while this is happening.

Josh:Sure.

Josh:Do I have a way to...

Jorge:I don't know if we want to get these implants, if they can just compel us to do things.

Tanner:They can't compel me.

Jorge:The brokerage, if we can get jailbroken ones.

Mike:We'll double check with the broker's surgeon.

Mike:Yeah.

Mike:Well, because he has it set up that way that he's protected.

Tanner:And I understand that on the map they're all described as hijacked and controlled, but is that a vibe that we are immediately sensing?

Tanner:Like... Okay.

Josh:They don't appear to be moving in a way that you would expect them to be moved.

Josh:It's kind of jerky.

Josh:Confused.

Jorge:hate jerky and by the way for your will saves it's a dc 37 it's an emotional fear mental effect yeah you guys become immune to it after a week but it hasn't been a week

Josh:Confused.

Josh:That's not true.

Josh:Confused.

Tanner:Oh, I have to make a save against what you've done?

Tanner:Alright.

Mike:Yes.

Josh:Everybody has to.

Noah:We're going to be saving some time for this.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:Since it's fear, you guys get plus one because you're my aura.

Josh:Oh, shit.

Jorge:Awesome.

Josh:Sorry.

Josh:I think I need to undo all of this.

Josh:Is disturbing knowledge an emotion effect?

Josh:Okay, so then none of this applies.

Mike:Shame.

Josh:Taking it all back.

Mike:No.

Mike:What are the consequences if we critically fail on your blinds?

Jorge:You guys get a plus two, because you get Dread Blindfold.

Josh:What is the item called?

Josh:OK.

Jorge:Fun fact, I can give that to me.

Josh:Have you given that to yourself, or do I need to give it to you?

Josh:Well, I can.

Jorge:It was in my sheet.

Jorge:I just didn't know how to upload it when I was off.

Josh:Yeah, if you haven't added it to your, I can bring that over.

Josh:Now you have it.

Mike:I will re-roll.

Mike:So, I'm gonna get... Uh... Uh...

Jorge:It doesn't say anything about a crit fail.

Tanner:Hmm.

Josh:Let's see.

Noah:Um...

Josh:Activate.

Josh:The first time a particular creature sees you in a day is to succeed at a DC 37 will save or be frightened.

Josh:This is an emotion, fear, and mental effect.

Josh:And your allies become immune to it after a week.

Josh:Unfortunately, it does not apply to any of the patrons in the bar.

Jorge:Damn it.

Jorge:They're immune to emotional.

Josh:They are all immune to emotion effects while under the compelled status effect.

Mike:Wait, I think fun for emotion.

Mike:I don't think so.

Mike:Actually.

Noah:Josh, because I have Aura of Courage, I think I'm frightened one, but it reduces by one at the end of my turn.

Noah:Everyone in my aura has their frightened reduced by one, too.

Josh:True.

Josh:And that is also true of Lev's regalia.

Josh:You guys, as a group, cannot be frightened for any period of time.

Jorge:Yep.

Josh:It's ridiculous.

Mike:Oh, I don't know if I should have taken something I took then.

Noah:Small bottle.

Mike:That's fine.

Mike:We'll respec it.

Mike:I think I have something that... Where is it?

Mike:It's like Comforting Presence.

Jorge:Yeah, right?

Mike:Never mind.

Jorge:This will be...

Josh:Okay, so Dawn failed.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:Henrik critically failed.

Josh:Divex critically failed.

Tanner:Yeah.

Josh:Okay, so all three of you are frightened one.

Jorge:This did not work out.

Jorge:I'm sorry, guys.

Josh:Nope.

Josh:A fight's about to go down.

Josh:Lev immediately debuffs his allies.

Jorge:I'm going to start putting this on at the start of the day so that we can just get scared in private.

Josh:And that's it.

Tanner:I think I might actually not be frightened.

Tanner:No, no, I think... Hold on.

Jorge:I think you reduce your fright by one automatically.

Josh:Oh, are you immune to fear effects or something?

Jorge:I think you always have a minus one to your fear effects.

Jorge:So you have to be frightened two to fear.

Tanner:Anytime you gain the frightened condition, reduce its value by one from bravery.

Noah:Or of courage, whenever you become threatened, reduce the condition value by one.

Josh:Okay, Henrik is not afeard.

Josh:Okay, Dawn is not afeard.

Mike:nice so wait wait wait is like what the like he's so caught he's so focused on trying to scare these other people he's just like just glance this over

Josh:So it's just Divex.

Josh:So Lev puts on the scary looking blindfold and the only one in the entire room intimidated by it is Divex.

Josh:The guy sitting in the booth with you will at this point out of the same larynx say, hostile actions detected.

Noah:Oh, no.

Josh:Taking immediate response.

Josh:And we are going to begin combat.

Josh:I would love it if you could all roll initiative perception based.

Tanner:Yeah.

Mike:For some reason, I thought someone was rolling with Uber Super Ultra Advantage.

Mike:I was like, what the fuck is this person doing?

Josh:Yeah, I have elven accuracy, which gives me super advantage, and then I have robot accuracy, which gives me another advantage.

Josh:So I just roll six dice any time I roll one die.

Jorge:Plus 2 to this.

Jorge:It's 32 for me.

Jorge:Forgot to add the item bonus for the eyes, the cat eyes I have.

Noah:Well, that's a bad world for me.

Josh:Okay.

Mike:Did mine?

Mike:No, it didn't.

Tanner:Why did I roll twice?

Josh:Why did you roll twice?

Jorge:You get advantage.

Tanner:Oh, I have advantage.

Jorge:Yeah, you get advantage now.

Josh:So you should have rolled twice.

Tanner:Yeah.

Josh:Just need Dawn.

Tanner:That's from the third eye, is that right?

Jorge:No, you got that from the laurel thing or whatever item you got before the fight with.

Tanner:Oh, the laurel.

Tanner:Yeah, yeah, yeah, the laurel thing.

Jorge:Yeah.

Noah:Oh, it doesn't matter.

Mike:Oh, that's right.

Noah:The good news is I now have three hero points.

Jorge:Make sure you have the eye thing, though, because you might get another plus one.

Josh:Unfortunately.

Jorge:Because you used to have a plus two.

Jorge:Now you have a plus three.

Tanner:Yeah, I had to manually add it, but I did put it on there.

Jorge:OK.

Tanner:You see the little third eye in there?

Jorge:Cool.

Jorge:All right.

Josh:I will give you... Is it Third Eye or Amulet of the Third Eye?

Mike:I got one.

Tanner:It's third eye, and I do have it in my inventory, but it's not applying the item bonus to my perception checks.

Josh:It's Third Eye.

Tanner:I don't know why.

Josh:Strength.

Jorge:you

Josh:Let me see if it's set to give that to you.

Tanner:I added it today, so I don't know.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:Do you have a bonus to...

Josh:You know what?

Josh:It might be because it's an item bonus and it's being overwritten by something.

Josh:Let me just swap that over.

Josh:Try, if you can, try just opening up the initiative box again and see if it gives you the bonus now.

Tanner:Well, I am seeing it on my perception now that it went up.

Josh:OK, cool.

Tanner:You've just added it untyped.

Josh:Yeah, because technically your perception is boosted with APB, which is an item bonus and all of that fun stuff.

Tanner:Yeah.

Josh:And we might end up just next campaign just not playing it with this optional rule where they stack because it's a little ridiculous.

Josh:It's fine.

Josh:But Divex, it is your turn.

Josh:You are frightened.

Mike:Yeah, that's fine.

Noah:you

Josh:Of Lev.

Josh:Not of the enemies, of Lev.

Mike:Let's do... I haven't cast this.

Mike:Let's see how dexterous these people are.

Mike:Let's see if I can get it in here.

Mike:I'm going to cast Chain Lightning.

Josh:He just kills everybody in the room immediately.

Mike:Well,

Mike:I'm trying to do that before I fucking left.

Mike:Can I be hopping around the fucking bar?

Jorge:Does Maya implement Assault?

Mike:I don't have chain lightning in my spell book.

Mike:I don't want to create a spell.

Mike:I want a spell browser.

Mike:Chain lightning.

Mike:Rank.

Mike:Six.

Mike:There we are.

Noah:Yes.

Jorge:Get flourish.

Jorge:But can I do it in two actions?

Jorge:I'm kidding.

Josh:No.

Jorge:I'm kidding.

Josh:It's not a spell.

Mike:We did it, folks.

Mike:All right.

Mike:Let's go with the hijacked patron that's near us.

Mike:We'll start with him.

Josh:Absolutely.

Mike:Okay.

Josh:What does he have to do?

Mike:I don't like that.

Josh:Reflex save?

Josh:Okay.

Josh:Reflex save for this man.

Josh:I critically succeeded.

Noah:you

Josh:Or I crit and got a 45.

Mike:Can you re-roll?

Josh:No.

Josh:Unless you have something that makes me.

Mike:Oh, okay.

Mike:No.

Tanner:Yeah.

Josh:Then no.

Mike:Do I have anything that does anything?

Mike:No.

Mike:Okay, so that's Chain Lightning.

Mike:That is gone.

Mike:Let's do... Let's cast Bless.

Josh:Can you drag the spell effect Bless onto you instead of the emanation?

Mike:Have fun.

Mike:Bell effect.

Josh:Yes.

Mike:Oh, I see.

Josh:If you look in the description, if you drag that over.

Josh:Because that should actually apply it to those around you.

Josh:Although it doesn't.

Mike:I don't know if Don just has too many status effects, but it does not seem like he has the effect.

Noah:I am not blessed.

Tanner:Mm hmm.

Josh:That's true.

Josh:One second.

Josh:Yeah, why did that not work?

Josh:No, he doesn't have the correct bless associated with it.

Noah:I move out and then move back.

Josh:Let me try, what about this?

Josh:That didn't work at all.

Josh:I don't think.

Josh:Is it this?

Josh:There it is!

Jorge:Ooh.

Noah:Sorry.

Mike:Oh, I see.

Josh:If you want to sustain it to increase it, if you click on it, like in the top right, you should see a little square icon.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:You can click on it to increase the size of it.

Mike:Okay.

Josh:What does it start at?

Mike:Five feet?

Josh:5 feet?

Mike:Yeah.

Josh:Okay, I don't know why it started at 15.

Josh:Oh, because apparently that's all it does.

Josh:Never mind.

Josh:Now I have to give it back to you.

Josh:We're learning.

Josh:This is the first time we're using the spell.

Josh:So, you know, it's a new system.

Josh:That's fine.

Josh:That works.

Josh:It's okay.

Noah:It was probably 500 times and probably sedetium.

Josh:We'll just take it.

Josh:All right.

Josh:Is that the end of your turn?

Mike:Yeah.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:It's Hijacked Patron B's turn.

Josh:He is being told that he doesn't like that you guys are using words you're not allowed to use.

Jorge:Definitely Sundom.

Jorge:Everything.

Jorge:Desiud, Sedecium, Sundom.

Josh:I think he is going to... None of you are flying.

Jorge:Everything.

Jorge:Everything about it.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:That sucks.

Josh:Why aren't you guys flying so I can hit you out of the air?

Jorge:oh instead of that thing that lets me attack everyone within 30 feet i could have just got the ability to fly because that's equal that's equal

Mike:Thank you.

Josh:He is going to... You watch as one of the hands on his arm pops open, and a capsule shoots out of it and lands right on the table around where you guys are sitting, and it explodes into a cloud of green smoke as he casts Cloud Kill on you.

Noah:Oh.

Jorge:This would have really been awesome if we didn't have to breathe right now.

Mike:Yeah, this fucking asshole is like, boop, boop, boop.

Josh:This is the last one, I'm sorry.

Mike:They've ordered the rebreathers.

Jorge:Jon is only going to do a breath effect right now, guys.

Jorge:Once we get those breathers, he's never going to.

Tanner:This is the last one, yeah.

Mike:Oh, this.

Josh:Okay, you guys need to make saves.

Josh:Fortitude, please.

Jorge:Cool.

Noah:Try to... Oh, nice.

Josh:You should be able to just click the button.

Tanner:Josh, can I ask a question?

Josh:No.

Tanner:Well, okay, can I make a comment?

Tanner:It says in the spell that you deal poison damage to each creature that starts its turn in the area.

Josh:Oh, correct.

Josh:You have to do a fort save on the beginning of your turn.

Jorge:Can I just keep the one I've rolled?

Jorge:Because I rolled.

Josh:Yeah, I made you roll it.

Josh:That's fine.

Jorge:OK, thank you.

Mike:And also, am I still frightened?

Josh:No, the friend condition should have ended when you get next turn, but I will remove it manually.

Jorge:Yep.

Josh:And this guy's going to walk over here, and that's just going to be the end of his turn.

Josh:Henrik, now roll a fort save.

Noah:Thank you.

Tanner:Uh, yeah, I guess that's... Okay, here we are.

Josh:47 is already, so nothing happens.

Tanner:I didn't really delay much for myself.

Tanner:I got a 47, but I have Juggernaut, if that matters.

Tanner:His poison is too weak for my lungs.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:True, you guys are high level.

Tanner:It's my turn.

Josh:Yeah!

Tanner:Um, I have a question for you.

Tanner:So, and if this is annoying to do right now, I can just manually do it for the time being, but I purchased a greater shock rune.

Noah:Yeah.

Josh:Uh-huh.

Tanner:Uh, I was able to add, like, the rune by itself to my inventory.

Tanner:I don't know how to get it on, like, one of the weapons.

Josh:Which one did you want to add it on to?

Tanner:I mean, I guess the warp glass.

Josh:What's the one that you're attacking with, the Warp Glass one?

Tanner:Yeah.

Josh:Okay.

Tanner:Unless it can't stack with the frost.

Josh:Warp Glass?

Tanner:Is that a thing?

Jorge:No, it can stack, I think.

Josh:No, I can't.

Josh:Which one is this?

Josh:Greater...

Tanner:Greater shock.

Josh:Greater Shock.

Jorge:Wait, so how are you adding this?

Noah:Thank you.

Tanner:I don't know.

Tanner:He just did it, so... Yeah, I couldn't figure it out.

Josh:I added it to the weapon.

Jorge:Edit.

Jorge:Do you just drag it on or something?

Josh:No, you click Edit Item, and then you go to Details, and then you scroll down to where it lists the details.

Jorge:OK.

Jorge:Ah, I clicked description and .

Josh:And then you scroll down to Precious Material and Runes, and you can attach whatever rune you like.

Tanner:Alright, I should have looked just a little harder.

Josh:It's fine.

Tanner:Just a little harder.

Tanner:Alright, alright.

Josh:It's totally fine.

Tanner:I gotta hit this man.

Tanner:What did he have, like 240 hit points?

Josh:Okay, go for it.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:One second.

Jorge:Thank you.

Josh:I can check in a moment.

Josh:I just have to finish adding rooms.

Josh:This man had 245.

Josh:I added it all.

Tanner:Oh no, now I can't tell which is which.

Tanner:Alright, well, we're just going to assume that it's the Warp Glass.

Tanner:I know, so I can't see in the window which is which, because all the runes take up the text.

Josh:Should I not have done that?

Josh:Sorry.

Tanner:Anyway, it says I've critically hit him.

Noah:Oh.

Tanner:And I picked the Warp Glass.

Josh:Good job.

Josh:Nice.

Tanner:Alright, so let's deal some damage.

Noah:Yeah.

Tanner:And things happen.

Tanner:So... He takes 42 points of damage, unless he's got resistance to cold or electricity.

Tanner:Oh, wait, let me redo the crit.

Josh:Uh, sure.

Tanner:Sorry.

Tanner:I didn't do the crit.

Tanner:Sorry about that.

Noah:Thank you.

Tanner:Alright, let's call it 70 points of damage.

Josh:Uh, okay.

Josh:I don't want to, but I will for you.

Tanner:He's slow one.

Tanner:Electricity jumps to up to two other creatures within ten feet of the target.

Josh:Uh...

Tanner:So I guess that's just the one dude.

Tanner:Controlled patron three.

Tanner:He takes six points of shock or electricity.

Josh:That comes from the greater chakran, right?

Noah:you you

Tanner:yes on a crit the electricity arcs hell yeah and then i need to roll on the warp glass which means i need to pull up the warp glass table which is here that's okay i will roll well

Jorge:So no resistance.

Josh:Absolutely.

Josh:He does have resistance to electricity damage, but the greater chakran ignores that.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:I really should have added that to your spike thing.

Tanner:Alright, I rolled a six.

Tanner:It does say that it's warp class, it just doesn't do the warp wave.

Josh:I can add the specialization, I just haven't yet.

Tanner:Gosh darn it, I've quickened him.

Josh:Because I didn't realize I was supposed to.

Josh:He's quickened?

Josh:Great!

Tanner:But I also slowed him with the greater frost rune.

Josh:That was kind of you.

Tanner:So... Yes.

Josh:Oh, right.

Josh:I added this to the wrong person.

Noah:Oh, zeroes.

Josh:Okay, so he's quickened and slowed.

Josh:Oh, that's wonderful.

Tanner:Which means that his third action can only be to stride, strike, or step.

Josh:Yeah.

Tanner:Which is dumb.

Tanner:That's one action.

Tanner:I think I'm just going to try to hit him again.

Tanner:For now.

Jorge:Did you add your plus four damage from the regalia?

Tanner:No.

Tanner:Josh, can you add plus four damage from the regalia?

Josh:Okay.

Josh:I can.

Jorge:Or does that get doubled?

Josh:Why didn't that add?

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:That should have just happened.

Tanner:Is it in there?

Tanner:I don't think it's in there.

Josh:I don't see it, but that should have happened.

Tanner:Well, what is the problem?

Jorge:Yes.

Jorge:My regalia should add actually plus eight when you double it.

Josh:Uh, it says that you only have the initiate.

Josh:That's strange.

Tanner:I'm going to hit him again.

Tanner:Allegedly, I've scored another critical hit.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:Absolutely.

Josh:I mean, I believe it.

Josh:So.

Josh:All again.

Tanner:84 points of damage.

Josh:Nice.

Tanner:Let's roll another d8.

Josh:He is bloodied.

Tanner:It's a 5 what happens.

Tanner:He's immobilized by Filaments of Energy.

Josh:Okay, absolutely.

Josh:He's not having a good day.

Josh:Oh, he's immune to immobilized.

Josh:He's immune to immobilized.

Josh:I tried to add it and it said no.

Tanner:Alright, the Warp Glass is not my friend right now.

Tanner:I'm just going to raise my shield with my final action.

Josh:No.

Josh:Absolutely.

Noah:Hello?

Josh:Equal amount of electricity.

Josh:Oh, I'm going to apply another six to the guy near him.

Tanner:Oh, thank you.

Tanner:Yeah, I haven't committed that fully to my brain yet.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:It is Control Patron 1's turn.

Josh:He... I think he's just gonna... I think he might just come up and punch one of you.

Josh:Oh, no!

Josh:No, I have something way more fun.

Josh:I'm gonna cast Chain Lightning on Divex.

Noah:No.

Mike:I would do that.

Tanner:That's tough.

Mike:I just wouldn't do it.

Noah:Don't do it.

Josh:Uh, you're gonna have to make a reflex save.

Mike:No.

Josh:I'll make one for you, if you like.

Josh:Well, you succeeded.

Mike:Okay.

Josh:So you're going to take half of... Wait, can you not see how much damage this did?

Mike:I guess I don't take any then, right?

Noah:Uh, this is anti-magic first.

Josh:Why not?

Mike:I already did it.

Josh:It's half of 85.

Josh:Take half of 85.

Josh:Oh, I can just apply it to you.

Tanner:Wait, he already did.

Josh:You take 42 damage.

Josh:Oh, you already did.

Mike:Trying to kill me, guys.

Josh:Okay, I'll undo it.

Josh:I'll undo it.

Josh:I'm sorry.

Josh:Um... Don, you make a reflex save.

Josh:Okay.

Noah:Oh, that's a waste of a 20, bummer.

Noah:Okay, now I'm hyper-reflexive.

Tanner:Is anti-magic below a number?

Noah:It's a DC three.

Noah:It's like three or below and it fails.

Mike:Oh, sorry, was this an arcane spell?

Noah:I don't get anything from Bless or anything.

Josh:I think?

Josh:No, it's not actually.

Josh:It's a divine innate spell.

Mike:Oh, okay.

Mike:That's for attacking.

Josh:Just attack the lightning.

Noah:Bummer.

Noah:41.

Josh:A 41 is a success.

Noah:Okay.

Josh:Do I roll damage again?

Josh:Roll the damage only once.

Josh:You take 42 damage.

Josh:Lev, make a reflex save.

Jorge:Sounds good.

Jorge:I'm supposed to have plus one because of my anti-magic armor.

Josh:Okay, 31.

Jorge:Yes.

Josh:You fail.

Josh:Take 85 electricity damage.

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:All right.

Josh:Henrik, make a reflex save.

Noah:Thank you.

Tanner:Yeah.

Jorge:Did you roll damage that I can just click on?

Josh:Yes.

Jorge:Where?

Tanner:I see the 85, but... Oh.

Josh:Control Patreon.

Josh:Love Dimex.

Jorge:Oh, it doesn't?

Jorge:Oh, it covers the plus?

Tanner:There's... Clicked a little plus, maybe.

Jorge:Yes.

Jorge:I only take 75 because I have some resistance.

Tanner:Alright, I'm going to make my roll.

Josh:Correct.

Tanner:I got a 44.

Josh:Okay, you critically succeed.

Josh:The chain ends with you.

Josh:Okay.

Tanner:Let me just check something about that real quick.

Jorge:Thanks.

Josh:Why, do you think that you don't actually have evasion?

Noah:Thank you.

Tanner:Um... No, never mind.

Josh:Because I'll take it if you're about to say that you don't actually have evasion.

Tanner:I thought the Knuckle Shield might do something, but it's when they critically fail an attack roll with a spell.

Jorge:who did that patron one cool cool level remember that

Tanner:Not when I critically succeed a saving throw.

Josh:Yes.

Josh:That was Controlled Patron 1.

Josh:I should hope so.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:Let's do... Yeah, that's just the end of his turn.

Josh:Hijacked Patron 2's turn.

Josh:Who is going to...

Josh:You guys are organic, right?

Josh:You look organic enough.

Josh:I'm going to target any number of living creatures.

Jorge:So live doesn't count.

Jorge:I thought we established he didn't count when Kharkov had a thing that only affected living creatures.

Josh:So I think, I don't know if that doesn't count.

Noah:Okay.

Josh:One second.

Noah:Okay.

Josh:That sounds correct.

Josh:I'm just double checking.

Josh:Yeah, no, that sounds right.

Josh:Okay, sure.

Josh:So, Don, Henrik, and Divex, you need to make fort saves for me, please.

Tanner:very well oh i didn't click the thing i got a 35 so but i didn't click the thing so i don't know if i succeeded probably

Josh:You're not made out of water or plant creatures, right?

Noah:I have critically succeeded.

Josh:Good job.

Mike:I think I have, I don't know, I guess I have five resistance to this.

Jorge:Does this have any mental?

Jorge:Oh, no, you cast as well.

Josh:You failed.

Josh:Sorry.

Josh:You failed.

Josh:Divex succeeded.

Josh:Dawn critically succeeded.

Tanner:It's so tough.

Josh:So, Henrik, you are going to take 50 points of damage.

Noah:Oh, nice.

Josh:Divex will take half that.

Josh:Void damage, specifically.

Jorge:Oh, so it wouldn't have been able to damage me even if I took it.

Josh:It happens.

Josh:That's the end of its turn.

Josh:Dawn, it's your turn.

Noah:These guys are just kind of the worst.

Noah:30 foot.

Noah:Is this a booth over here?

Josh:Over where?

Noah:Like right in front.

Josh:Yeah, that's a booth.

Noah:Yeah, I guess I'll just start swinging, I guess.

Noah:Anything else I want to do first?

Jorge:If you go up top, I'll join you.

Noah:My apologies.

Noah:Let's see here.

Noah:I just want to see something.

Noah:I may have a... I might make a big swing.

Noah:Yeah.

Noah:I will... I will step one...

Noah:Oh, I'll quicken myself.

Josh:Okay.

Noah:That's what I usually do.

Noah:I will quicken myself at the start of my turn.

Noah:My apologies.

Josh:If you must.

Noah:Flockworks Hilarity.

Noah:What is the un... I think after the remaster, the unstable check changed.

Noah:I can't remember what it is right now, but that might not be a fail.

Josh:Oh.

Noah:They just released Guns and Gears Errata.

Josh:They did.

Josh:That's fun.

Noah:I will check on that after my turn.

Noah:But we'll say I used Unstable Redundancies.

Noah:I'm quickened for this turn.

Josh:Okay.

Noah:Then I'm going to take a big swing here, and I will cast Sleep at fourth level.

Josh:On... It's a five foot burst that you cast within 30 feet, so you can place the five foot burst where you like.

Noah:I'll just do it on... Oh, no, it's each creature in the area becomes drowsy.

Noah:Oh, I understand.

Noah:Oh.

Jorge:Would Don know that mental effects weren't working on them?

Noah:Oh, this is the mental effect.

Noah:My bad.

Josh:Don would know that emotion effects aren't working on them.

Jorge:Oh, emotion.

Jorge:I don't know what this is.

Noah:Oh, it's a five-foot burst.

Noah:Is that a radius, or is that a...

Josh:Click the place five foot first option in the chat.

Noah:Let's see.

Noah:Oh, bummer.

Noah:I can't... What can we get?

Noah:Well, then... Gosh, they're all super spread out.

Noah:Uncool.

Noah:I guess I'll just try and get this dude.

Josh:Okay.

Noah:This is the one-action flourish.

Noah:I have to make a will save.

Noah:This is good to know for the spell.

Josh:He critically succeeded.

Noah:Well, that's a bummer.

Josh:Yeah.

Noah:That's one action.

Noah:I'll punch this dude.

Josh:Okay.

Noah:I don't know how to get rid of this.

Noah:Oh, there it is.

Noah:Let's get rid of that first.

Noah:Okay, I'll just try and punch this person.

Noah:Why not?

Noah:This will be my third action.

Noah:Because I am quickened.

Josh:Nice.

Noah:Where is all my stuff?

Noah:Oh god, I have so many more things.

Noah:Cast.

Noah:Take a messy swing.

Noah:Attack.

Noah:I crit.

Noah:Oh, nice.

Jorge:It's a good thing Lev won the prize while looking like someone else.

Jorge:And he's now not looking like that guy anyway.

Jorge:So that if we are on a wanted list, we could just all look different when we claim the prize.

Josh:Is this double?

Noah:Double whatever.

Noah:Double 63.

Noah:126 points of damage.

Josh:Nice.

Josh:He takes 126 points of damage.

Josh:He is bloody.

Noah:Final action.

Noah:I will... I'll just punch him again.

Noah:Why not?

Josh:Yeah, go for it.

Noah:We'll just... Map minus five.

Noah:I hit.

Josh:Okay, roll damage.

Noah:Another 55 points of damage.

Josh:Nice!

Josh:He is not looking good.

Noah:That's all I got.

Noah:That's my turn.

Josh:It is Control Patron 3's turn.

Josh:Control Patron 3 is mildly injured because he got statically discharged twice.

Josh:I think... Oh, that was a big circle.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:I think he's mad at Henrik.

Josh:Understandably so.

Tanner:Right.

Josh:So he is going to cast harm on you.

Tanner:Oh my god.

Josh:You're living, right?

Tanner:Yes.

Josh:Make a fort safe.

Tanner:Okay.

Josh:Yeah, you're fine.

Noah:you

Josh:That is, I do, I just want to put this out there, that is a regular success.

Josh:Which turns into a crit because you have Juggernaut.

Josh:So I don't think you take any damage anyway.

Josh:So he's just going to spend the last one action to move, and then the last action he has to punch you.

Tanner:Oh, I'm gonna hit him.

Mike:Bye.

Tanner:I'm going to strike him.

Tanner:I'm going to strike.

Josh:Okay.

Tanner:Yes.

Josh:Your AC is like 800 right now, so he misses anyway.

Noah:Million bajillion.

Josh:That's a hit.

Tanner:Sweet.

Jorge:Oh, did he come below?

Jorge:Ah, never mind.

Jorge:I don't have him on my Thelma Church thing anyway.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:He will take the damage.

Josh:He spent this turn not doing anything and then getting injured.

Tanner:That's what you get for coming near me.

Josh:It is Lev's turn.

Tanner:I will put a brief message out to everybody that these are people being compelled against their will.

Mike:Thank you.

Noah:Cool.

Josh:It's Lev's turn.

Jorge:Cool.

Jorge:So... What?

Tanner:I'm not requiring any actions.

Tanner:I just want us to be cognizant of it.

Josh:Lev doesn't care.

Jorge:OK.

Jorge:Lev doesn't care.

Tanner:If you need to... If you need to devastate every person in the room within six seconds, I understand.

Josh:Lev was just talking about killing a whole planet.

Josh:He's fine with these random people.

Jorge:OK.

Jorge:Lev is going to Dimension Door.

Jorge:I'll go over here with the scroll.

Jorge:I'll mark that down.

Jorge:If I use my cloak, I can't use the flourish thing, right?

Josh:Uh, no.

Jorge:OK.

Jorge:So let me just, OK, so I used the cloak.

Josh:Oh, yes, actually.

Josh:We've been playing that you can.

Josh:So, yes.

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:And now I will, yeah, I will try to exploit vulnerability on this guy.

Josh:Go for it.

Jorge:Ooh, 39.

Josh:I think a 39 is still a success.

Josh:One second.

Josh:A 39 is a success.

Josh:Did you not press the exploit vulnerability option?

Josh:You should have done that.

Jorge:Let me... Okay.

Josh:Target him.

Noah:Okay.

Jorge:It says select one Thaumaturge token.

Josh:And then on the bottom of your screen, there should be a macro that says exploit vulnerability if you hover over it.

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:It says I have to select two... I have to select two tokens.

Jorge:I have to select a Thaumaturge and that.

Josh:You have to target the guy you're trying to hit.

Josh:And then click on your guy.

Jorge:How do I target?

Jorge:Do I just click on them?

Tanner:There's a target button that looks like a target in the top left.

Josh:I don't know.

Tanner:You have to toggle.

Jorge:Yeah, so I click the person, and then I click that little square bracket thing, right?

Jorge:Select tokens.

Josh:I don't have the same controls as you guys, so I don't know how you turn things.

Jorge:Is that what it is, Tanner?

Jorge:Is it called select tokens if you hover over it?

Tanner:Yeah, select or select targets, yeah.

Jorge:Yeah, it doesn't let me select.

Josh:You are not targeting him.

Tanner:Jorge, in the top left, one of them is a bunch of concentric circles.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:Oh, there's a stream.

Jorge:I click this one?

Tanner:Whose stream?

Jorge:Oh, it's like targets, that one.

Jorge:All right, cool.

Josh:Okay, so now you're targeting him.

Noah:Thank you.

Tanner:Sweet.

Jorge:We'll just use my success.

Josh:Okay, sure.

Josh:Well, I don't know if you... You might have to cancel out of it and reroll or something.

Jorge:OK.

Josh:I don't know what UI you're seeing right now because you closed the stream.

Josh:So...

Jorge:You know what?

Tanner:Hahaha.

Jorge:Can we just do this another time?

Josh:You have a critical success.

Josh:It's useful if you use the things, because otherwise we forget damage and stuff.

Jorge:OK.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:OK.

Jorge:So I have critical success.

Jorge:Exploit vulnerability.

Jorge:So I was going to do mortal weakness.

Jorge:There we go.

Josh:Did you click the button?

Jorge:Yes.

Josh:That gives it to you?

Jorge:So I think it's fine, right?

Josh:Okay.

Josh:If you clicked the button...

Jorge:All right, well, let's see.

Josh:I know for a fact there was a big button that said it was doing something.

Josh:So if you selected it, it says your exploit vulnerability is inactive, which leads me to believe that you didn't press one of the two buttons available to you and instead just closed out the dialogue.

Noah:Thank you.

Jorge:Yes.

Jorge:I pressed the mortal thing.

Jorge:It says, oh, no weakness on the creature to exploit for mortal.

Jorge:So then it would default to the person.

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:But so I get to pick after I roll.

Jorge:So I don't need to.

Jorge:decide before rolling.

Josh:You decide when you do exploit vulnerability.

Jorge:I thought if it doesn't have a mortal weakness, I can default to personal antithesis.

Josh:You can.

Josh:So you're just supposed to click the other button.

Jorge:Okay, but then I have to reroll it.

Josh:It tells you what weaknesses they have.

Josh:You just had to read the dialogue box.

Josh:Or ask me.

Jorge:Sorry, it's so much reading and it's so much pressure.

Josh:It's not that much reading it.

Josh:It's not that much pressure.

Jorge:Highest weakness, none.

Josh:It's really fine.

Jorge:Personal antithesis, bonus damage.

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:Cool.

Jorge:I'm doing it.

Josh:Okay, great.

Jorge:We're doing this.

Jorge:Now we strike.

Jorge:Wait, I got that other roll earlier.

Jorge:I got the 38.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:I thought, alright, I'll just take this fucking roll.

Josh:What other role did you get with the 38?

Jorge:Alright.

Jorge:So I'll get a hero point, and then I'll just make it a second attack.

Josh:Oh, you got a 39 if I scroll it far enough, but that was an esoteric lore check.

Josh:That wasn't an attack roll.

Jorge:Alright, so 37 to hit on this one.

Josh:Okay, absolutely.

Josh:Roll damage.

Jorge:Cool.

Jorge:Josh is trying to make me read and shit.

Josh:I just... It's just not that many buttons.

Jorge:Oh my god.

Tanner:He's trying to make you more efficient.

Jorge:This was so much.

Jorge:So little damage.

Josh:Listen, I'm running the whole game.

Jorge:So many ones.

Josh:You can read two sentences.

Jorge:You don't understand how much skimming I do.

Jorge:But anyway, that's fine.

Josh:I think I do, actually.

Jorge:29.

Jorge:Okay.

Josh:Yeah, no, I applied the damage.

Josh:It takes way more than that because he took 40 damage total because of your vulnerability.

Jorge:And does that have my regalia?

Josh:Shit, no.

Josh:I will give him an additional four points of damage.

Tanner:Yeah.

Josh:Why is that gone?

Josh:It was working last fight!

Jorge:And that spirit should be holy.

Josh:I'm mad.

Jorge:That spirit damage should be holy, right?

Josh:What?

Josh:Um... No, it's spirit damage.

Jorge:Because I'm sanctified.

Jorge:Okay.

Josh:It's a different mechanic.

Josh:If you deal spirit damage and you're sanctified, you gain the holy trait.

Josh:It does not become holy damage.

Jorge:Okay, but it was a holy attack.

Josh:It had the holy trait.

Josh:It didn't do any additional damage, but it had the holy trait.

Jorge:It doesn't throw my screen, so I'll trust you.

Josh:You don't see any traits on your screen.

Josh:It doesn't display traits for damage.

Jorge:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:Sure.

Tanner:Guys, Pathfinder is not meant to be understood.

Tanner:I think that's what

Josh:It is!

Josh:I understand it!

Noah:It's all about finding the path and we have yet.

Jorge:If you understand it, why isn't my regalia damage there?

Josh:I'm going to kill someone.

Josh:I don't know if it's me or you.

Josh:Is that the end of your turn?

Josh:Dog!

Jorge:Yeah, that's my tip.

Josh:It's Control Patriot 2's turn.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:He's going to cast a spell.

Noah:Oh, no.

Tanner:Counter spell.

Josh:It is invisible.

Tanner:Oh.

Josh:The spell is invisible, so I don't think I have to tell you what it does.

Mike:But we see him casting it.

Josh:Yes, you see him cast a spell.

Mike:Uh...

Jorge:If he's going invisible, Lev can still see him.

Josh:He's not going invisible.

Josh:He's making a spell that is invisible.

Josh:Can you see invisible things?

Josh:You see the unseen.

Jorge:Yeah, and I have true sight.

Josh:Okay, I don't care.

Josh:That's for illusions.

Noah:But he has true sight.

Josh:It's not an illusion.

Josh:It's invisible.

Noah:He has seen.

Mike:Okay.

Josh:He has seen the unseen, which is the relevant thing here.

Jorge:Yeah.

Mike:I'd like to use a reaction.

Mike:Recognize spell.

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:Thank you.

Mike:If you are trained in the appropriate skill for the spell's tradition, I...

Josh:You are not.

Josh:Are you?

Josh:Right.

Josh:That's fine.

Josh:You just get to roll whatever you like.

Josh:You get to just decide to roll an Arcana check.

Josh:Roll the check.

Tanner:Thank you.

Mike:Oh, if you're trained and it's a common blah, blah, blah, second level or lower, you automatically identify it.

Mike:The highest level of spell you automatically identify increases to four if you're an expert, six if you're an expert, ten if you're legendary.

Josh:It's not.

Josh:Are you legendary?

Mike:I'm legendary in Arcana.

Josh:What is the feat that lets you just use a different thing?

Noah:Unified theory, I think.

Mike:Uh...

Mike:Yeah, unified theory.

Mike:Whenever you use a skill action or skill feat that requires blah blah blah blah blah, I think this is for checks for me.

Mike:Oh.

Josh:Depending on the magic tradition, you can use Arcana instead.

Josh:Oh, yeah, no, this lets you just use Arcana.

Josh:So if your Arcana is legendary, you automatically identify spells that are rank 10 or below.

Josh:Which is all spells!

Noah:Thank you.

Mike:Automatically recognize.

Tanner:Before we reveal what the spell is through his means, I would like to point out that I have low light vision.

Josh:Or does it help?

Josh:But good to know.

Josh:So, Divex...

Mike:Yeah.

Josh:Divex knows that he is casting Wall of Force.

Noah:So there's an invisible wall somewhere out here?

Mike:Oh, okay.

Mike:Guys, he's casting.

Josh:It does not actually make the spell visible, but because Lev has seen the unseen, he doesn't know what spell is being cast, but he sees the wall appear.

Mike:All right, up.

Josh:There is an invisible wall, and the only person who can see it is Lev.

Noah:But Lev doesn't know what it is.

Josh:Lev, no.

Noah:Oh no.

Josh:Lev just sees a wall appear around Henrik and two of the people that are around him.

Mike:But...

Jorge:Why didn't he just sign their death warrants?

Tanner:Oh.

Josh:Because he thinks that they could take him out.

Josh:Because these guys don't know who you are.

Noah:Don't they watch our TV show?

Josh:No one, except for the two twins you met, have ever seen your TV show.

Noah:Thank you

Josh:And then I think...

Jorge:You know, it's really sad that demoralize is a motion effect because I'd be having such one-liner zings right now.

Jorge:You're like, you really should have missed our show last night.

Jorge:You're tuning in with the family.

Josh:That was one action.

Josh:He's going to spend his second action to try and walk over to Lev.

Josh:And his third action to try and punch him.

Noah:guy is punching and using wall force.

Jorge:Great.

Noah:What's this guy's deal?

Josh:He's just going to try.

Josh:That was a high roll for him.

Josh:I think that hits.

Jorge:All right.

Jorge:Yeah, it hits.

Josh:47.

Josh:Excellent.

Mike:Don't we just want to leave?

Josh:I'm going to roll damage.

Noah:Just call a broker.

Noah:Go pick yourself up.

Mike:Well, I think maybe we just walk out.

Mike:I don't know.

Tanner:I can't walk out.

Josh:You could.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:Everybody but Henrik can do that.

Noah:Who are these guys?

Jorge:Don't worry.

Jorge:I'll break the spell, Henrik.

Josh:Do I use this man's fists of thunder or fists of lightning?

Noah:What?

Noah:These are just regular civilians?

Josh:We're just gonna do a fist of thunder.

Josh:Yes, everybody on this planet is crazy.

Josh:You guys were warned about this before you came here.

Josh:You were warned about it when you were walking through the street to the comic convention, away from the comic convention, and at the comic convention.

Noah:It's one thing to get one about it.

Noah:It's another to have this guy pull out fists of thunder in this tavern.

Josh:One fist is thunder, the other fist is lightning.

Jorge:I resistance 10 to both of those, I believe.

Josh:He's a robot.

Josh:Uh, well, so you take 30 damage instead of 40 because you're resistant to Sonic, and he didn't know that because why would he just assume?

Jorge:No, I know.

Jorge:But either one of those ought to have resistance 10.

Josh:Correct.

Josh:I do need you to make a fort save.

Jorge:OK.

Josh:Because the thunder is loud.

Jorge:Is there a button to hit for save?

Josh:What?

Jorge:There's no button to hit for saves.

Jorge:Thank you.

Noah:you you

Josh:Now there's a button to hit for saves.

Jorge:Is this a magical effect?

Josh:Yes, that's why you can see it says magical.

Jorge:I don't actually see that.

Jorge:Do you see it on my screen?

Josh:Look slightly above the button you clicked to roll the fort save.

Josh:Can you guys not see the traits?

Josh:Am I the crazy one now?

Mike:What?

Tanner:Where are we trying to find the trait?

Josh:One second.

Mike:The spirit sonic bludgeoning?

Josh:Let me watch the stream.

Mike:Are we trying to tell him this?

Josh:Oh, it actually doesn't show it to you.

Josh:That's crazy.

Jorge:Yeah, look who's not reading now.

Jorge:Huh?

Josh:Well, it's showing it to me.

Noah:Thank you.

Jorge:All right, but I rolled.

Jorge:I don't even know what I rolled.

Jorge:I rolled 34.

Josh:Where did you... I don't even see your roll, but... Oh, you did!

Jorge:It's below it.

Jorge:It's in blue.

Jorge:I will reroll that.

Josh:You rolled a 34!

Jorge:I'll reroll using a hero point.

Jorge:42.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:42 is a success.

Josh:Oh, it's a critical success, actually.

Noah:Thank you.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:So you're not deafened.

Josh:You're fine.

Josh:It's Hijack Patron 1's turn.

Josh:Hijack Patron 1 is hasted and slowed.

Josh:So, sure.

Josh:Um...

Josh:Yeah, okay.

Josh:I guess he will... Does it do an earthquake on you?

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:No.

Josh:I think he might also just try harming you and hoping that it works.

Josh:Oh, he doesn't have harm.

Josh:Never mind.

Josh:He's just going to try and punch you.

Tanner:It doesn't work.

Noah:Glimpse of redemption.

Jorge:Thank you.

Josh:Yeah, I rolled a natural one.

Josh:Hey.

Josh:He actually doesn't have a lot of other stuff he could do, so I'm just gonna... Let's just, with the map, see if he misses twice.

Josh:Oh!

Josh:That was a crit!

Josh:I crit!

Tanner:That's sad.

Josh:I crit twice!

Tanner:What do you mean you quit twice?

Josh:Yeah, I rolled 20 on the die twice, but because he had minus 10 from the map from the third hit, it's actually so low that it's just a hit.

Tanner:I see.

Josh:But I did crit in my mind.

Noah:Either doesn't do damage or he's enfeebled?

Josh:Okay, Glimpse of Redemption.

Josh:What do I have to choose?

Josh:One of them doesn't do damage?

Noah:I think it's enfeebled.

Noah:Hang on.

Noah:I have it over here.

Jorge:It's stupefied or enfeebled, I think.

Josh:Yeah, it's which do you want, Superfinder or Enfeebled.

Jorge:And then he gets resistance.

Jorge:And then Hendrik gets resistance and attack equal to your level.

Noah:Lev knows my abilities better than I do.

Noah:He is correct.

Jorge:I've been making a lot of characters recently.

Noah:Either this man is unharmed or he has resistance and controlled patron is enfeebled too.

Josh:Okay, so he's Enfeebled, and then we'll just add that he's got so many auras on him.

Noah:He's enfeebled too!

Josh:That's crazy.

Noah:And Henrik has resistance 20 to whatever this damage is about to be.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:Oh.

Josh:Alright.

Josh:You take 46 minus 20.

Josh:You take 26 points of damage.

Josh:And you are persistently poisoned.

Noah:We should just leave.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:Great.

Josh:That's the end of his turn.

Josh:Thanks.

Josh:What are you doing?

Mike:So, are we leaving?

Mike:Are we slaughtering?

Mike:We can also... Yeah...

Jorge:We killed him.

Jorge:What else are we going to do?

Jorge:They're going to chase us outside.

Jorge:Everyone else goes, ah.

Noah:No, we just call the broker and be like, hey, tech, are you going to pick us up?

Jorge:We don't want to expose the broker as whatever we are.

Mike:We also don't want them outside.

Mike:Okay.

Mike:Then we will kill them mercilessly.

Mike:Why is my scroll wheel just not want to work sometimes?

Noah:I guess people would die here on this planet of the law, apparently.

Jorge:They don't even have a full soul between each of them.

Noah:Bummer.

Noah:You hate to see that.

Josh:I mean, if you want, you can attack non-lethally.

Jorge:That's all.

Josh:Well, not with spells.

Jorge:Thank you, Pathfinder.

Mike:I can't, but some people can.

Josh:Right.

Josh:Everybody but Mike can.

Mike:Let's go with hijacked patron.

Mike:Wait, what's the range of this?

Mike:30 feet.

Mike:The most health is... That sucks.

Mike:Controlled patron 2?

Mike:Is he within... Guy's 2, right?

Josh:30 feet of you?

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:Yeah.

Mike:Yeah, he's over... Yeah, we'll make him make a basic forward save.

Josh:He's 25 feet away.

Josh:And actually, I mean, if you want the person with the most health, I think that's Henrik.

Mike:Ooh, but he's behind a wall of forest.

Mike:I don't know if I'd be interested.

Mike:Hmm.

Josh:Okay, so I rolled a natural 1, which is fair after I rolled two natural 20s.

Mike:So this might kill him.

Josh:So he critically failed.

Josh:Why did you click the roll button?

Josh:It's always 75 damage.

Mike:So that you can hit the double button.

Josh:That's fair.

Josh:He takes 150 damage.

Josh:He is blooded now.

Josh:He does not have resistance to damage.

Josh:So... Yeah.

Mike:Unfortunate.

Noah:Thank you.

Mike:Only some of us.

Mike:Oh, I still have, like, many more actions.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:Yeah, that was one.

Mike:Let's... One... Implosion, I'll... We'll say I flourished the implosion, and then... Where is this thing?

Mike:I want to left-click...

Mike:I left-clicked it.

Mike:It claims 25 feet now?

Mike:Sure.

Mike:Oh, sustain the spell increase by 10.

Josh:What is 25 feet?

Mike:Yeah, so I moved there, and then I upped the Bless.

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:It should have started at 5, so I'm going to knock it back down to 15, which is where it should be after you sustain it once.

Noah:Woo!

Josh:I just don't know why... Yes.

Mike:Yeah, is that hitting everyone properly?

Josh:Well, I see Lev is blessed, so... It's Hijack Patron 3's turn.

Mike:Yeah, everyone's blessed.

Jorge:I see manipulate.

Mike:That's the turn.

Josh:Um...

Josh:I think he's gonna... He might just Earthquake, you guys.

Noah:Oh.

Josh:Yeah, he'll just Earthquake, you guys.

Jorge:I will try to interrupt it.

Josh:You do.

Josh:You also see Concentrate, which is something else that you can attack.

Jorge:Yes.

Josh:Go for it.

Josh:Yeah, that's a crit.

Josh:He's not doing shit.

Jorge:Sweet.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:That's really unfortunate.

Jorge:Even with a regular hit, he wouldn't have done shit.

Josh:Correct.

Jorge:So... Yeah.

Jorge:And he's on fire and off guard.

Jorge:And if he can be frightened too, he's frightened too.

Jorge:I don't think he can, but...

Josh:Oh.

Josh:That was the wrong person.

Josh:Targeted the wrong person.

Josh:Okay.

Noah:Hmm.

Josh:Uh, great.

Josh:That actually applied as a persistent slashing damage as well.

Josh:And I'll give him the extra four regalia damage because it's not adding... I'm gonna go myself.

Jorge:Eight, if you double it.

Josh:I'm not going to, though.

Josh:Mostly because I don't want to.

Jorge:Oh.

Josh:It should be doubled.

Josh:I just don't want to do it.

Tanner:that is fair as the dungeon master you can do that oh and you can't do that

Josh:I did it.

Josh:Uh, actually, I'm the game master.

Josh:Excuse you.

Josh:Um...

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:I think he's just gonna try and punch left twice, then.

Josh:Yeah, it was one action for Earthquake.

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:Twice?

Jorge:Oh, he also gets Flourish.

Jorge:Sad.

Josh:Yeah, I'm not straight buffing you guys.

Noah:you you

Jorge:That's fine.

Jorge:It's bad.

Josh:You're sad.

Josh:Don't worry, I'm gonna miss twice, so it doesn't really matter.

Josh:I missed twice, so it doesn't really matter.

Josh:Henrik, you are trapped in an invisible dome.

Jorge:Cool.

Josh:You take 11 points of persistent fire.

Josh:Nope, persistent poison damage.

Josh:I don't know why I chose a fire thing.

Tanner:That is damage to the patron who's on fire and just ended his turn.

Josh:Yeah, it is.

Tanner:But I will take poison damage at the end of my turn.

Josh:Yeah, you will.

Noah:Thank you.

Tanner:So first I'm going to look to these two guys.

Josh:Neither of them know that they're stuck in here.

Tanner:And I'll say, I'm not stuck in here with you.

Tanner:You're stuck in here with me.

Tanner:And then I'm going to strike the hijacked patron one.

Josh:They also can't see the wall.

Jorge:But left old Henrik.

Josh:Yeah.

Tanner:So they can interpret that in any way they wish.

Josh:Sure.

Jorge:One of them just tried to run away.

Jorge:Smacks into a wall.

Noah:Oh.

Tanner:On a natural three, I hit.

Jorge:Blood splattering.

Jorge:The air just got in the air.

Josh:Yeah.

Tanner:He takes 40 points of damage.

Josh:Which one was this on?

Josh:Hijacked patron one.

Josh:Absolutely.

Noah:Wolf Wolf Wolf Wolf

Josh:The guy that's been enfeebled.

Tanner:Yeah.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:He's not looking great.

Josh:He is bloodied.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:I'm going to hit him again.

Josh:Yes.

Tanner:Do I want to be nice?

Tanner:Let's just try to be nice.

Tanner:Just once.

Josh:Okay.

Tanner:We'll see how it goes.

Tanner:I'm going to take a minus two circumstance penalty to make it non-lethal.

Josh:Okay, absolutely.

Josh:That hits.

Tanner:I hit.

Josh:That hits.

Tanner:What did I do wrong?

Tanner:Oh, okay.

Tanner:I just used the wrong item.

Tanner:But I'm going to roll damage on this one.

Josh:Unfortunately, that isn't enough to knock him completely unconscious, but he is mortal.

Tanner:He takes 46 points of non-lethal damage from my spiked, frosty, shocky shield.

Josh:He is just on, I guess, not death's door.

Tanner:Awww.

Josh:He's on unconscious's door.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:Um.

Tanner:Hmm.

Noah:Thank you.

Tanner:Alright.

Tanner:I'm just going to raise my shield.

Josh:Uh, it is... Controlled patron monster.

Josh:Now you take the poison damage.

Tanner:I take 12 points and then I click roll recovery check.

Josh:You do.

Josh:You recover.

Josh:You are no longer poisoned.

Tanner:Everything's coming up Tanner.

Mike:Thank you.

Tanner:Henrik.

Josh:Now ten.

Josh:That's fine.

Jorge:There's my character after Mike.

Tanner:You do like to switch characters.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:Ooh.

Josh:This worked last time.

Noah:Just far enough away.

Josh:I guess we'll just do it again.

Josh:This guy's going to do Chain Lightning on you guys.

Josh:I'm going to start with Lev.

Josh:This is Controlled Patron 1.

Jorge:Which one is this?

Jorge:That's fucker.

Jorge:All right.

Jorge:44.

Jorge:All right.

Josh:That is a success.

Josh:You are going to take half damage.

Josh:And then, Dawn, make a reflex save.

Josh:You are going to take half of 71!

Noah:Is anti-magic first?

Noah:Maybe.

Josh:You're all really well on these.

Josh:Or really high, at least.

Josh:Why'd you roll twice?

Noah:Why did it say Levmir rolled?

Noah:It said Levmir on mine.

Josh:To me, it says Noah rolled twice.

Mike:Yeah, but it says Noah.

Josh:I see you have... Well, he didn't.

Jorge:It says no for me, too.

Noah:That's very good.

Noah:That's very confusing.

Noah:Do you see Levmir take 25 damage and then 1d20 and then 1?

Noah:Nope.

Josh:I do, but it says Noah on that one.

Josh:And it's a different color.

Jorge:Also, my anti-magic rune can actually attempt to dispel magic against that.

Josh:Yes.

Noah:Nope.

Jorge:With a plus 26.

Josh:42.

Jorge:42.

Josh:It's a... Sorry, what rune are you using here?

Jorge:It's a 7th level.

Josh:It was the thing on your armor.

Jorge:It's an armor rune.

Tanner:you you

Noah:Josh, that was anti-magic.

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:Yeah.

Noah:It was a natural one, so it does not do anything.

Josh:I see you rolling a 19 and then a 1.

Josh:What was the first roll for?

Josh:It says you rolled the die twice.

Noah:Where is there a 19?

Noah:Let me share my screen.

Josh:You rolled a 19 and then you rolled a 1.

Josh:Do you not see that?

Jorge:This is what I see.

Jorge:I see 19, too.

Noah:Let me share my screen.

Jorge:Yes, might a spell magic block it anyway, though?

Noah:How do I share my screen?

Jorge:Or is it not?

Josh:Uh, one second.

Josh:I need to figure out what you're doing.

Josh:Okay, okay.

Josh:So you have anti-magic, which lets you cast a spell.

Josh:You do a counteract check against it at level 7.

Josh:What did you roll?

Jorge:I rolled, did I roll it in the chat?

Josh:You did.

Jorge:I rolled a 42, rolled a 42.

Josh:I just rolled a 42.

Josh:One second.

Noah:You guys see this?

Josh:Level...

Josh:Ace, DC.

Josh:The DC is 34.

Josh:You rolled a 42, so that is a success.

Josh:In counteracting, you counteract.

Josh:If it's no more than one higher, it was one higher, so you do counteract it.

Josh:So it doesn't matter.

Jorge:Oh, cool.

Josh:Let's see what Noah sees.

Josh:No, I see you.

Noah:Oh, really?

Josh:Yeah, you're just streaming Discord.

Noah:I'll just send a screenshot.

Noah:I don't know how to show them, apparently.

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:But the spell stops, right?

Josh:Yes, because you anti-magicked it.

Jorge:All right, cool.

Jorge:So you don't even have to deal with it, Noah.

Josh:Correct.

Noah:Okay, well, this is what I see.

Tanner:Fascinating.

Josh:That's completely different from everybody else.

Noah:I... I...

Jorge:Very interesting.

Josh:That's so weird.

Noah:So I thought that I... I guess I clicked it twice.

Noah:I thought it didn't go off the first time, like it didn't roll, so I clicked again.

Noah:So that is why I rolled twice.

Josh:It's like compressed it.

Josh:I updated Foundry, and it's clearly broken something.

Noah:Okay.

Noah:Well, I guess it doesn't matter.

Josh:That's fine.

Josh:No, well, if that's what you see, that's what you see.

Josh:You got a one, so it doubly doesn't go off.

Josh:Great.

Josh:That's the end of his turn.

Josh:It's Hijacked Patrons 2's turn.

Josh:He's just gonna...

Noah:Okay.

Josh:He doesn't know there's a wall there.

Josh:I think he's going to spend one action to get here.

Josh:He's going to hit the wall, see that he can't actually get to Henrik.

Josh:And then he's... He doesn't have harm.

Josh:Which one has harm?

Josh:I don't know.

Josh:He doesn't have any ranged attacks he can use on you.

Josh:So he's going to have to pivot and spend another action to go attack Lev.

Jorge:Can I opportunity attack him?

Josh:Lev, do you...

Jorge:Because I, yeah.

Josh:Uh, he walks towards you, so yeah.

Jorge:OK, cool.

Jorge:Wait, I'm going to target him.

Jorge:There we go.

Josh:Mm-hmm.

Josh:That's a crit.

Jorge:Cool.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:Let's apply the damage.

Josh:Uh, he is not looking too hot.

Josh:Uh, but he's not bloodied.

Josh:I think that's the first time he's actually been hit.

Josh:That just took a huge chunk of health off of him.

Josh:And he's bleeding.

Jorge:And off guard.

Josh:Uh, sure.

Josh:He is going to still attack you, though.

Jorge:Okay.

Josh:That was atrocious.

Josh:That misses.

Josh:That's the end of his turn.

Josh:Done.

Noah:All right.

Josh:He's on fire.

Josh:One second.

Josh:Let me apply the damage to him because he's on fire.

Josh:He's still on fire.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:Now it's your turn, Todd.

Noah:So first, before everything else, I looked up the errata, and now if you are legendary, the DC for unstable is 13 if I'm legendary and crap.

Josh:Oh.

Jorge:You're 14.

Jorge:You just beat it.

Noah:I know.

Noah:We're good.

Josh:Nice.

Josh:All right.

Noah:I'll quicken myself again.

Noah:Well, that one didn't work.

Noah:So I'll use unstable redundancies this time for real.

Josh:Okay.

Noah:I'm quick in this turn.

Noah:I'm going to punch this dude over here.

Josh:Yeah, go for it.

Jorge:Patron won or hijacked?

Josh:Which one?

Jorge:Control or patron?

Noah:Control patron one.

Josh:Hey.

Jorge:Yeah, fuck that guy.

Noah:Fuck this dude.

Mike:Rip.

Noah:I'm going to punch this guy.

Noah:I super crit.

Josh:Yeah, you do.

Noah:Super duper crit.

Noah:Roll damage.

Noah:So whatever this is times two.

Noah:140 points of damage.

Josh:okay he is uh dead just just dead he hit zero you um you just punched a hole right through him correct

Noah:Great.

Noah:I can't do this non-lethally.

Noah:I will... I say, you talk about killing an entire planet.

Jorge:Lev acts shocked.

Jorge:He's like, what the fuck?

Noah:This is not fair.

Noah:I will step... I will step over it to... over this booth to flank this dude.

Jorge:But they know them.

Josh:Yeah, sure Still hits That would have been a crit if that were an attack unfortunately

Noah:And then I'm just going to punch him again.

Noah:But with map.

Tanner:This time with map.

Noah:With map.

Noah:Great.

Noah:Oh, sorry.

Noah:That was the wrong button.

Noah:I meant roll damage.

Noah:Well, he takes 68 points of damage, not more, which is a bummer.

Josh:Absolutely.

Josh:He is bloodied.

Josh:Sure.

Noah:Yeah, I guess... Lev's kind of stuck there, but I feel like Lev kind of wants to be... Okay.

Jorge:I'm fine, I'm OK.

Noah:Lev's good.

Noah:I guess I'll just try and punch him a third time.

Noah:I don't really know what else I got.

Noah:Actually, I'll expand my aura.

Noah:I'll do that.

Noah:That's a new one.

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:Well.

Noah:So now it's 30 feet instead of 15 feet.

Josh:Absolutely.

Josh:No one is frightened right now, but if they become frightened, they won't be.

Noah:This also extends Glimpse of Redemption to 30 feet.

Josh:Fair.

Josh:That's a good one.

Noah:That's my turn.

Josh:It's Patron 3's turn.

Tanner:He's hitting me.

Josh:He... I think he's just going to try and punch you.

Jorge:Cool.

Jorge:Is he going to cast Earthquake again?

Josh:No?

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:Does he want to cast Harm?

Josh:He's never tried to push it.

Josh:He's... No.

Noah:yeah I see it

Jorge:Okay.

Josh:What?

Jorge:I wasn't sure.

Josh:He's attacking Henrik.

Jorge:Oh, I thought we were talking about the hijacked guy I'm number three.

Josh:Gosh.

Josh:Not everything's about you.

Tanner:Hmm.

Jorge:That's lame.

Jorge:I'm also so sad there's a wall.

Josh:Do you not see the, like, little aura that identifies who's going?

Tanner:I see it.

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:Half my map wasn't shown because I was looking at Discord.

Jorge:I was looking at my friends, guys.

Josh:You don't have multiple monitors?

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:No, I like to focus on my friends.

Josh:I missed.

Noah:Thanks Jorge.

Josh:I missed twice.

Tanner:indeed no love looks

Jorge:Did I make one of these guys a vampire thrall?

Jorge:Uh.

Josh:Do you think they have blood?

Josh:This guy already cast harm, so he can't do it again.

Josh:He really... Atrocious.

Tanner:Levs looks in shock as Darmager punches a hole in one guy and then sinks his vampiric fangs into the other.

Josh:Lev, it's your turn.

Josh:You're surrounded on all sides.

Noah:Okay.

Jorge:It's the way I like it.

Josh:Except for one.

Jorge:I... Yes.

Jorge:I will use Implement Assault and then attack everyone without using a map.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:You cannot hit Hijacked Patron and Rhea because they're locked in the Thunderdome.

Jorge:Oh yeah, the two walled guys.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:But you can get the three that are all around you.

Josh:That's a hit.

Jorge:Hit.

Jorge:Yeah, targeting him.

Jorge:There he goes with damage.

Tanner:Ignore that.

Josh:It automatically triggers.

Jorge:Yes, that's the 40.

Jorge:And also, this will trigger my vulnerability stuff.

Jorge:Not on the control patron, though.

Jorge:That will not get vulnerabilities.

Josh:That is working.

Jorge:Does it work on people of the same type?

Noah:Thank you.

Jorge:So will the guy below also get it?

Josh:It does.

Josh:If you look at the guy below you, you should see he does have the sword icon associated with him.

Josh:If you click on it, I assumed it would pop up in the top right.

Josh:Maybe it doesn't.

Josh:But he does have it.

Jorge:OK.

Josh:I see it.

Jorge:OK.

Josh:Yeah.

Jorge:Oh, that wasn't.

Jorge:Oh, yeah, that was critical damage.

Jorge:OK, cool.

Josh:Everybody's on fire just by being near you.

Jorge:So the guy below me, that might not hit.

Josh:37?

Josh:Definitely hits.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:Oh, cool.

Josh:He's flanked and these guys are lower level than you.

Josh:If you haven't noticed yet.

Jorge:Yeah.

Noah:you

Jorge:So that also damages him.

Josh:Okay, 53 damage.

Jorge:Is he still alive?

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:You didn't kill anyone.

Jorge:Are both of the people, either one of them looks more bloody than the others.

Josh:The one below you looks more injured than the others.

Jorge:Cool.

Jorge:I will attack him with my quickened action.

Josh:True.

Josh:That's a thing you can do.

Josh:Yeah, 42 still hits.

Josh:That might be enough to... That is enough to kill him outright.

Josh:He gets sliced in twain.

Noah:Thank you.

Jorge:Yep, so as I'm circled, I just start spinning my sword, and then I stop right at the other guy, and then I just spin it again.

Jorge:And then he drops dead.

Josh:Sapowski, the guy that writes the Witcher novels, I don't know if you guys have read any of them, he's learned the word pirouette, and that is the only way that Geralt fights across, like, nine books.

Josh:Every fight involves Geralt pirouetting from one to the other with his sword.

Josh:It's something.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:And now it's Lev.

Jorge:All right, that is my turn.

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:Oh, wait, I forgot to give myself my healing.

Josh:Yes?

Jorge:Plus 8.

Josh:Why do you heal?

Jorge:Healing Grace.

Josh:What is that?

Noah:Oh.

Jorge:It's from my Soul Forger.

Jorge:It is from the Soul Arsenal from my Soul Forger dedication.

Jorge:I get fast healing equal to half my level.

Josh:OK, sure.

Josh:It's another effect I have to apply to you at some point.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:This guy... This guy hasn't cast Chain Lightning yet.

Noah:podcasting show and things.

Josh:All of the controlled patrons have Chain Lightning.

Josh:This is the third and final Chain Lightning of the evening.

Jorge:I will try to interrupt that.

Josh:How?

Jorge:Oh, I don't have it on him.

Jorge:I have it on the other guy.

Jorge:Okay, okay.

Josh:Correct.

Josh:What you can do is roll a reflex save.

Jorge:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jorge:Wait a second, actually.

Josh:No.

Jorge:I might be able to stop that.

Josh:No.

Jorge:Ring of spell turning.

Jorge:I have picked this up.

Jorge:I am targeted by a spell.

Jorge:I can use my spell turning.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:Do you have a Ring of Spellturning?

Jorge:I bought it.

Josh:When?

Jorge:At the store.

Josh:Oh, so when you added things into wants, you didn't update your current inventory to show that you wanted it in the... Okay.

Jorge:I didn't know BTO was on there.

Jorge:I didn't know it was uploaded so I could... Did I end up adding that?

Josh:Absolutely.

Josh:Great.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:You have to roll just a d20 plus 35.

Josh:A 50 is, I think, a crit success, which means that you do successfully turn the spell.

Jorge:I will use a hero point.

Jorge:This is too cool to be wasted.

Jorge:15.

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:50.

Jorge:Okay.

Josh:The effect is turned back on the caster.

Josh:Okay, so he has to roll... He has to roll a deck save.

Jorge:Cool.

Noah:Thank you.

Jorge:Does it get to bounce?

Josh:And he beat his own deck save.

Josh:No, it says the effect is turned back on him, so he's going to take... You do not get to become the caster of the spell.

Jorge:That's fair.

Josh:He succeeds, so he's going to take half damage here.

Jorge:Real stupid hat on him, huh?

Josh:I mean, even half of 81 is enough to kill him outright, so he just dies.

Josh:And now there's nobody around to point it towards the next thing to jump to, so it just fizzles out.

Jorge:So right as Lev's done twirling his sword, the lightning tries to go, and then he pirouettes it off his ring right back at the dude.

Tanner:Very good writing.

Josh:I shouldn't have said the word pirouette.

Josh:Yeah, no, that's clearly the end of his turn.

Josh:It's hijacked patron one's turn.

Jorge:Is that force cage still up?

Josh:I think so.

Josh:I mean, you haven't killed the guy who casted it, but also, I don't even know if... Oh, no, you did just kill the guy who casted it.

Jorge:I don't know.

Jorge:Oh, I thought, yeah.

Josh:Let's see.

Josh:Yeah, no, it's still up.

Jorge:All right, I'll take it down with my later.

Mike:Okay.

Josh:It is Patron 1's turn.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:This guy, who's just enfeebled.

Josh:He's just really enfeebled.

Josh:I think he's almost dead.

Josh:I'm going to make a will save for him to see if he can escape the compelled condition.

Jorge:you

Josh:He very much cannot escape the compelled condition.

Josh:So he's going to keep attacking.

Josh:I need Henrik, Divex, and Dawn, because it doesn't apply to Levmir, to make fort saves.

Tanner:Josh, before he does that... Well, as he does that, I'm going to take an attack.

Josh:Absolutely, it is a manipulate action.

Tanner:Because I see the manipulate on there.

Josh:He's manipulating!

Tanner:I'm going to strike.

Tanner:I am going to make it non-lethal.

Josh:Okay, that's very kind of you.

Josh:It is not a grace that your compatriots have been extending.

Josh:Yeah, even non-lethally, that's a crit.

Tanner:I critically non-lethally strike him.

Mike:You hit him in a pressure point.

Josh:Okay.

Noah:Yep.

Mike:He gets paralyzed and falls to the ground temporarily.

Josh:Yeah, so he has five hit points left.

Jorge:Kung Fu Panda, the first one.

Mike:And does the spell go through?

Josh:No!

Mike:Okay.

Mike:I was holding my roll.

Josh:Very much so!

Josh:No, he had five influence left, and you non-lethally hit him for 70 damage.

Mike:Oh, I thought you said after he has five hit points left.

Jorge:Wow.

Josh:No, no, no, no, no.

Josh:So you critically decapitate him.

Josh:Luckily, it was an artificial head, so he's fine.

Josh:And he falls unconscious.

Tanner:And his friend in here takes four points.

Josh:Oh, great.

Josh:His friend is actually almost totally fine.

Noah:Thank you.

Tanner:Yeah.

Josh:Although, if he could think for himself, I think he would have taken some psychic damage just from seeing that happen.

Jorge:Big fish and Daunt.

Josh:But he can't, so he won't.

Josh:That's the end of his turn, then.

Josh:So that brings us to not Lev again.

Josh:It's Divex.

Mike:I don't really want to kill this guy.

Mike:I know, but...

Josh:Are you sure?

Josh:Because Lev has been having a great time.

Jorge:Like, I was the only one killing.

Noah:You know, I'm trying to be Tarv.

Tanner:you

Noah:I'm emulating.

Jorge:So, I... Yeah, I did choose to kill the guy below me.

Jorge:The guy next to me, that was his own spell.

Jorge:He shouldn't have missed.

Josh:He would have to roll an Arcana check.

Mike:So this guy hijacked Patron.

Mike:They're compelled.

Mike:What would Divex have to do to know if the compelled condition was magical?

Mike:Well, he hates those.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:I mean, he can roll a religion check instead.

Josh:That would also apply, if you would prefer.

Josh:If you want, you can roll a religion check and then just turn it into an arcana check, if that would make you feel better than rolling the arcana check outright.

Mike:Yeah, that's...

Mike:That sounds better.

Mike:Oh, this already has all my things.

Mike:I was about to be like, modifier, modifier.

Mike:But an arcana check.

Tanner:Might as well.

Mike:All right, we're going to burn a hero point on this fucking arcana check.

Josh:You don't have to.

Noah:Thank you.

Jorge:You can just go back to killing them.

Mike:No, it's fine.

Josh:Yeah, add two.

Mike:Whatever.

Mike:Add 2.

Mike:46.

Mike:Cool.

Josh:You got a 46.

Josh:What are you looking for?

Josh:If this is a magical effect?

Josh:Yeah.

Mike:Divex is going to cast Dispel Magic at 8th level.

Josh:Okay.

Mike:On him.

Josh:Absolutely.

Mike:On the magical effect that is compelling him, if he can be specific.

Josh:That is a counteract check then.

Josh:Make a spell attack roll.

Josh:Just add 33.

Mike:uh the 20 okay sure uh 45 yep

Josh:Let me just double check the DC on this thing.

Josh:I think that's a crit.

Josh:45 is a crit.

Josh:And you cast this at 8th level?

Josh:Okay, so 10th level spells of Blow all get counteracted, and this is less than a 10th level spell.

Josh:So you do successfully dispel this magic.

Josh:Which one did you do it on?

Josh:The guy up by Lev?

Mike:Uh, yeah.

Jorge:That way he can flee and then I can opportunity attack him.

Jorge:Great idea, Divex.

Noah:you

Josh:Absolutely.

Josh:Okay, so... You have dispelled magic.

Josh:Oh, the spell effect.

Josh:Okay, so spell effect is gone.

Josh:Absolutely, he is no longer compelled.

Josh:Anything else in your turn?

Mike:Uh, yes.

Mike:I would like to sustain implosion on controlled patron three.

Josh:Absolutely.

Jorge:You can just sustain that?

Josh:Yes, he can.

Mike:Yeah, that's the point.

Mike:Every turn I can sustain it.

Mike:I can't do it twice to the same creature, though.

Jorge:That's fucking crazy.

Mike:So you want me to restend it?

Josh:Absolutely.

Mike:I don't know.

Josh:Let me see.

Josh:The first time you try out, you choose and use target.

Josh:The target can never be due to you.

Josh:Oh, it's a basic fort save.

Josh:Okay, so I will pull the fort save for this guy.

Mike:Failure.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:Failure.

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:He takes 75 damage.

Josh:His organs are suitably implodable.

Josh:Okay, anything else?

Mike:Henrik already has the bonus.

Mike:I'll stop.

Josh:Okay.

Noah:Well.

Josh:It is Patron 3's turn.

Josh:Patron 3 looks around, yells, holy shit, what the fuck, and will try and run away.

Jorge:I will opportunity attack.

Jorge:Non-lethally.

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:I'm going to non-lethally opportunity attack.

Jorge:But I will do it.

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:Wait.

Jorge:Okay.

Tanner:I guess it's a good thing there's not police.

Noah:Thank you.

Jorge:Oh!

Josh:You critically missed, so he is able to run away without being stabbed in the back.

Jorge:That is literally the only way he would have been able to run because of my regular mist.

Josh:Uh, okay, what is it?

Josh:Spence movement speed.

Josh:Oh.

Josh:Okay, I did not look at that stat block.

Josh:He is at 120 foot airwalk movement speed.

Josh:So he's just gonna leave the building.

Josh:It's one action, he's gone.

Josh:I was wondering, like, why did I hit 40 and it's not giving me any indicator?

Josh:And I was like, oh, okay, because he can just, he's left.

Jorge:He's gone.

Noah:What happened, man?

Josh:He's left.

Josh:Henrik, you are locked in an invisible room with this guy.

Jorge:Dude, can you imagine the story that guy's going to say?

Mike:I might watch the show, honestly.

Noah:I blinked and these random guys in costume were beating me up.

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:Killed all my friends and also all the other people who were around.

Josh:Just all of us.

Noah:Are you saying they're from a show?

Josh:Oh, that's a crit.

Josh:I figured out...

Noah:you

Josh:Excuse me, I figured out how to add a message, but I haven't actually had the time, obviously, during combat to populate the table, unfortunately.

Josh:So, you're going to have to work glass yourself.

Josh:94 points of damage is a lot of damage.

Josh:He is... Right, never mind.

Josh:I was going to say he's resistant to the electric damage, but he's not, because... He's... Yeah, he's fine.

Tanner:The 5 immobilizes, so he's immune to that.

Mike:But he's not.

Josh:Actually, is this guy immune to immobilize?

Josh:He's not.

Josh:This one isn't immune to immobilize.

Tanner:Let's go.

Tanner:Thank you, Warp Glass.

Josh:He is immobilized.

Tanner:Um... Alright.

Mike:So much on these enemies that we're finally finding the ones that are not immune.

Tanner:I'm going to make a certain strike.

Tanner:With the additional non-lethal penalty.

Josh:That misses, unfortunately.

Tanner:I miss.

Josh:Absolutely.

Tanner:He takes 16 points of damage.

Mike:It probably missed because he didn't tell us what strike you were doing.

Jorge:You're completely rude.

Josh:No!

Josh:You ruined it.

Josh:We managed to make it.

Josh:It's fine.

Josh:The damage from your certain strike, despite missing, is enough to knock them unconscious.

Noah:Thank you.

Tanner:Let's go!

Josh:So the two people that Henrik were fighting were knocked unconscious.

Josh:Everybody else is either dead or fleeing.

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:Lev is going to walk over to where Henrik is.

Jorge:Right up to that wall.

Josh:Yeah, there is a wall there.

Jorge:And then he's going to knock on it.

Tanner:Yeah, I can't.

Jorge:And then he's going to pull out this rod of cancellation and tap it on there.

Tanner:I'm stuck.

Jorge:I didn't buy this one.

Josh:Yeah, I think that's it.

Mike:As in from your sugar mommy?

Josh:I'm pretty sure that just works.

Josh:Uh, okay.

Josh:No, you have to make a cataract effect.

Jorge:I don't get any modifier with this?

Jorge:It doesn't say anything.

Josh:Um... No.

Josh:That's weird.

Josh:So I tell you what stat you're using.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:This is just an Arcana roll.

Jorge:Oh, I wouldn't be using this rod.

Jorge:I would be giving it to Divex.

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:This is useless.

Mike:That is unfortunate.

Mike:Divex will take the rod and say, how are you supposed to use it again?

Jorge:It's just you just you got to be you got to be artsy.

Mike:You gotta be artsy?

Mike:Arcana-y?

Jorge:Yeah, Archie, Archie or Connie, you know?

Jorge:Yeah.

Mike:Divex will take the rod and then swish and flick, and then with the other hand, cast Disintegrate at the Wall of Force.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:The law of force ceases to exist.

Mike:You're right!

Mike:It is just...

Noah:you

Mike:on the wrist.

Tanner:Are these unconscious people stable?

Tanner:Is that non-lethal doing that?

Josh:I think they are.

Josh:One second.

Josh:Non-lethal.

Josh:You knock someone out.

Josh:They are knocked out.

Josh:Oh, no, I mean... I'm not gonna make you...

Josh:stabilize them.

Josh:They're just knocked out.

Tanner:I'm... Yeah, I'm legendary in medicine, so I think...

Josh:They'll wake up in ten minutes.

Josh:I think if you look at somebody who's just knocked out, they're automatically stabilized.

Josh:I'm pretty sure that's a feat somewhere.

Josh:So, you're fine.

Tanner:I guess we should leave.

Tanner:Unless we want the broker to teleport in here and then teleport us out so we don't have to walk out there where that guy just ran.

Jorge:Yeah, it's a good idea.

Mike:Let's leave.

Noah:Might be a good idea.

Noah:In Saran, I'll say, hey broker, turns out Omnivox can control people's access to the RET.

Mike:Where is he?

Noah:We said some taboo words and got into a fight.

Noah:Can you come pick us up?

Josh:After a second, you'll hear... I want to know if I should ask you to repeat the words.

Josh:And there's a flash of blue light, and he is standing next to you.

Jorge:And as he's standing next to us, if it was, I don't know, three actions, my compatriots would look like different people.

Jorge:I'll be disguising everyone.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:So there's a flash of a blue light.

Noah:It's us.

Josh:He appears.

Josh:In that time you have disguised everybody to look like different people, he'll know that it's you.

Jorge:What action disguises?

Jorge:Oh, no, not to hide from the broker, just because now that Omnivoc might be having our faces uploaded somewhere.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:The broker will look around, see the two unconscious people, see the bartender, who is still standing there, still fine, and say, one second.

Josh:He will cast Modify Memory.

Josh:on the two people on the ground.

Josh:He will look over at the bartender.

Josh:Unholster a firearm.

Josh:Shoot it.

Josh:There's a burst of blue light.

Josh:The bartender explodes.

Josh:Reholsters the gun.

Josh:All right, we're going.

Jorge:One of them did get away, Dr. Curious.

Jorge:No, just to let you know.

Josh:What do you look like?

Jorge:I look at Divex.

Jorge:You're the one who dispelled his magic, so he ran away.

Mike:What?

Mike:Oh, yeah.

Mike:Yeah, he looked like... I forgot what the guy's name was, but like... Captive, unholstered, patron...

Josh:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Josh:You describe the guy.

Josh:You can see that he is writing it down in a small notepad.

Josh:Flips it back over and says, okay, I'll take care of it.

Josh:Are we going now?

Jorge:Yes.

Tanner:Yeah, we'd love to get our procedures kind of going.

Josh:Yeah, I... I'm not mad at you.

Josh:I did tell you to go around and if you got in a fight, that's fine.

Josh:I am impressed.

Josh:with your ability to find fights.

Josh:Let's go get this stuff wired up.

Noah:If we get the stuff wired up, are we going to be able to be controlled by Omnivox, like all these folks?

Josh:I'm going to have the same person who implanted the things in my head implant the things in your head.

Noah:Okay.

Josh:Do you think that I would open myself up to be controlled by a corporate entity of any kind?

Noah:You know, it was a stupid question.

Noah:I retract it.

Mike:Divex will smirk and say, oh, I feel like if the money's right... And our apologies.

Josh:He will say, are we going?

Tanner:yeah they didn't tell us which ones were the banned words

Josh:Alright.

Jorge:By the way...

Mike:Copyright law is not quite as mature on all things.

Josh:Can you write down the words that you said?

Josh:Okay.

Noah:I mean we can assume yeah easy

Josh:What we can probably do is we'll find somebody else who's rented something from Omnivox.

Josh:We can sit them down, tie them up, and then have one of you just say the words in order until they get controlled.

Jorge:you

Mike:Thank you.

Josh:Okay, but for now, there's a flash of blue light and you find yourselves in a ripperdoc.

Josh:surgery uh not arena what's the name shoot what's the name for theater thank you you're the you're the medicine guy you would know um and uh in a surgery theater which uh is uh probably

Tanner:Theater.

Josh:Gosh, I don't know.

Josh:You guys come from an area where, like, you still had bone saws that were manual and stuff, which isn't a fun time, but now they have a ton of actuated drills on arms, and I guess it's up to you to decide which of those is more unpleasant.

Josh:But, you know, a long cushioned table that is propped up such that you can sit down on it.

Josh:There is one of those like dentist lights that moves around on an arm so that you can look at something.

Josh:And then another similar arm, except instead of a light, it protrudes into a number of what look to be cutting implements.

Josh:There is nobody else in this room but him.

Josh:And he says, OK.

Josh:Which of you wants the implant first?

Jorge:I could take it if you guys want.

Noah:I'll do it.

Jorge:Or you could do it.

Jorge:I don't care.

Noah:Yeah, I'll do it.

Noah:I'm the guy with metal.

Tanner:Dawn has the fancy ones, so yeah, let Dawn go.

Noah:Yeah, I'll hop on the table.

Noah:Stick it in me.

Josh:Absolutely.

Josh:You sit down on the table.

Josh:He pulls out from the side of the table what look to be two bands, not quite leather, but of a similar material, and then starts to strain your limbs.

Josh:so that you are held in place during the procedure.

Josh:Then you watch as he walks over to a table and puts on what appears to be a glove of some kind.

Josh:And then as he moves his fingers on the glove, you watch as the cutting implements themselves, move on the armature.

Noah:oh did you you performed surgery you performed brain surgery on yourself crazy fair

Josh:They seem to be mapped to his fingers.

Josh:He is the one doing the procedure.

Jorge:This makes a lot more sense now.

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:He says, before you ask, the fee for installation was to use the room.

Josh:I'm not ripping you off.

Mike:It doesn't make a lot of sense.

Josh:Yes.

Josh:I did not trust anybody here to do it.

Noah:And,

Mike:I thought we were going to be meeting some Uber doc here, and we are, but...

Josh:And he goes over to a table and takes out the...

Josh:Implant, which is this flat-looking... It almost looks like paper.

Josh:It's extremely thin.

Josh:It's slightly translucent.

Josh:It shines with, to those who are knowledgeable in magic, it clearly has a magical enchantment on it of some kind, just looking at it.

Josh:It almost moves with the same kind of momentum that the Kaith orbs do.

Jorge:Henrik can sense magic now.

Josh:He holds it up.

Josh:What?

Jorge:Henrik can sense magic now, I believe.

Josh:Because he has the third eye.

Josh:Okay, so Henrik also sees that it's difficult to move.

Josh:He picks it up, two of the arms, grab the piece of it, grab the piece of the implant, and move over to Don.

Tanner:Okay.

Josh:One of them extends out, and a needle...

Josh:extends out of the arm and gets driven into your neck, kind of directed at your spine, you feel a pinch and then it just doesn't feel like anything.

Josh:You lose all sensation in the whole body, just completely disconnected.

Noah:Oh.

Josh:The rest of you watch.

Josh:Unfortunately, Dawn doesn't really have a particularly good vantage point of this.

Josh:As a...

Josh:It's not like a drill.

Josh:If anything, it's just a piece of metal that gets dragged along his head, and a suction cup gets attached to a piece of his skull and just pulls that piece of the skull fully away.

Josh:Then the implant gets placed in, you see some wiring happening, and then the piece of the skull gets reattached.

Josh:There is a slight amount of necromantic magic that gets applied.

Josh:And the skull is whole again, only now he has an implant.

Josh:Are you also getting the subdermal spanner?

Noah:Yeah, take it.

Josh:Sure.

Jorge:And the breathing one.

Josh:That one...

Tanner:you

Noah:In the rebreeder.

Josh:Oh, the rebreather.

Josh:That one's the fun one.

Josh:Abridged, they crack open your spine, fully cut out your lungs.

Josh:A tube is put in instead to replace where the oxygen would go for the duration of the procedure.

Josh:Artificial lungs are put in, which kind of look like they're not lung-shaped.

Josh:It's two tubes that you can hear a very slight whir from as turbines inside of them hook up to your circulatory system and start pumping blood through them.

Josh:They get put back in.

Josh:More necromantic energy.

Josh:Your ribs are reattached.

Josh:Your skin is sewn back shut.

Josh:Can't even see that it happened.

Josh:While they're in there, the subdermal implant is put in.

Josh:That one gets placed adjacent to your heart, attached to your aortic valve.

Josh:And you're all sewn up and you are good to go.

Josh:You got the fancy one, the one that can accept hacks and stuff.

Josh:So they do need to make a secondary incision on your neck to allow a spot for you to place chips for uploading data into them.

Josh:So you get a nice little USB port installed in your neck.

Josh:And you find now that when everything is attached, everything's put back in and turned on so that you can connect to it, you have this weird double vision because you can now see into the red because you are kind of superimposed there.

Josh:You're connected to it.

Josh:The RET looks like where you currently are.

Josh:It's not very different in this particular area.

Josh:But you do note that there are red threads that connect you to the broker and then also fan out to all of the different electronic implements in the room that you're currently in.

Josh:You just intuitively know by the magic that's present in the implement.

Josh:You know, you've got like Venmo functions.

Josh:If you want to, you can request or give money to the broker.

Josh:You do have a wallet now assigned to the credit.

Josh:There is internally like an ID page that you can open up.

Josh:When it first boots up, it gets superimposed on your vision and it's blank and waiting for you to fill out information on...

Josh:your corporate ID number, as well as your name and your address and all of that kind of stuff.

Josh:And you watch as the page almost corrupts as you're looking at it and just fades out of existence.

Josh:Not something that the broker would have you fill out.

Jorge:X.

Noah:Nice.

Josh:And then he undoes the straps and you are free to go.

Josh:It takes a second.

Josh:It's like if you've been to the dentist and you've got Novocaine shots and that numbness kind of persists even once you're done with the procedure, you get that all over your body for a little bit.

Josh:But it takes a few minutes before it fades.

Noah:I'm going to request five credits from the broker.

Mike:Thank you.

Josh:The broker looks at you.

Josh:You hear a very slight chuckle and then you see on your screen blocked.

Josh:All right, next person.

Noah:Dang, that was fast.

Jorge:Can I choose not to let my blood flow out and just kind of hold it?

Josh:It's the same procedure for each of you, so you don't need to do it.

Josh:It's not a fantastic to sit through procedure, but yeah.

Josh:Your blood doesn't flow out normally, but you can continue to have that not happen.

Jorge:Can I make it flow out then?

Josh:Oh, you mean into the lungs?

Josh:Did you get the rebreather and you...

Jorge:No, no, no.

Jorge:No, because I also got the rebreather, but because when he's doing these operations and I have control of my blood...

Jorge:Can I just either make it come out if it wasn't coming out or stay in if it was going?

Josh:Well, so it like the procedure is designed to not to leave blood everywhere.

Josh:So you don't normally bleed, but there are open areas of blood.

Josh:So if you wanted to, you could bleed profusely.

Jorge:I'm kidding.

Jorge:I won't do that.

Jorge:Broker would hate it.

Jorge:All right.

Josh:He's seen worse, but sure.

Josh:You get your stuff installed, and the same for the rest of you.

Josh:Everything you have on that sheet, you can mark down.

Josh:The broker will separately hand you.

Josh:Did you guys get all four of the hacks, or did you not get one of them?

Noah:I think we skipped the one that makes people come over to where we are.

Josh:Okay, you didn't get bait, but you got the other three.

Josh:So those three hacks are passed off to you, and then you can slot them into your USB port, read them, pop them out.

Josh:You now have those uploaded, and I will get actual stats for them, but they do what they say.

Josh:And you are all fully kitted out now.

Josh:You're full-on denizens of Syrin at this point.

Noah:hmm you

Josh:Congratulations.

Josh:With you all kitted out, the broker looks at you and says, okay, what do we do now?

Josh:And that's where we'll end the session for today.

Tanner:All right.

Josh:You guys are cyborgs.

Tanner:I see that there will be no consequence.

Josh:No, you're fine.

Josh:You guys are cyborgs, which is standard fantasy Dungeons & Dragons fare.

Josh:And you're fine.

Josh:It's a good time.

Tanner:I love this.

Noah:Removed.

Josh:In my defense, Pathfinder, one of the ancestries, is a robot.

Josh:And also, 5e, one of the races, is a robot.

Jorge:What?

Josh:So, they're robots.

Jorge:There's also in Pathfinder, there's like body modifications.

Jorge:Like that's a whole thing you can go down to.

Josh:There are two kinds.

Mike:Let's not do it.

Jorge:Like graphing.

Jorge:Grafts and then...

Josh:Yeah, well, yeah, you can do like flesh grafting and the like, but also if you go to Numeria, you can get implants and stuff, which is a place in Calaria in the Pathfinder setting.

Josh:The book that's coming out, the next expansion one, the one with the Necromancer in it, is about Numeria and Gex, which are two countries that are next to each other.

Josh:One of them is super hyper-advanced, and the other one is just filled with skeletons.

Josh:And that's it.

Josh:They're just next to each other.

Josh:They're hanging out.

Noah:Awesome.

Mike:Sounds familiar.

Josh:Does it?

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:There was a wall.

Mike:Oh, oh, sorry.

Mike:There's no wall in this setting.

Josh:There's no wall.

Mike:It's way, it's way, it's way, there's a desert between.

Josh:It's a desert.

Josh:It's completely different.

Mike:That's so much funnier.

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:Completely different.

Tanner:Skeletons don't like the desert.

Tanner:Too dry for the bones.

Josh:Yellow.

Josh:The sand is coarse and rough and gets everywhere.

Tanner:Oh.

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:And the robots don't like it for the same reason.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:So they both just agreed not to cross it.

Jorge:This isn't starward logic.

Tanner:Because of erosion.

Josh:Because of erosion.

Jorge:It's just starward logic.

Jorge:Anakin can't go back there because he's Darth Vader now.

Josh:Yeah, I... I literally just quoted starward.

Jorge:Well, I couldn't hear you.

Jorge:You should have said it louder.

Tanner:Is Lev worse than the Dawnmonger?

Josh:I have to fix her regalia.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:And I have to add warp glass.

Jorge:And healing grace.

Josh:And healing grace.

Josh:I'm not doing that.

Josh:Fuck you.

Josh:I have invested more time in getting your character and foundry to work than I think you have in making your character.

Josh:Thaumaturges are ridiculous.

Jorge:Well, I don't know about that.

Jorge:But yeah.

Jorge:Dumpsters are fun.

Josh:Lev is worse than that.

Josh:Okay, they're different.

Josh:The Dawnmonger had some, had a bunch of... The Dawnmonger's finickier, I think.

Josh:Just because you required changing full effects.

Josh:Just so they worked on new things.

Josh:But it's fine.

Josh:Yours is done now, and it's working.

Josh:His was working, and it broke again.

Josh:Which means I mattered him.

Jorge:Well...

Jorge:Don Muggers has homebrew.

Jorge:Lev is all raw.

Josh:I think...

Josh:I think you should all just be like Divex, who have had to do zero things for the entire campaign.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:Mike is every once in a while like, I have the spell, and I'm like, okay, and we add the spell, and that's it.

Josh:That's the whole thing.

Mike:That explains why you're not like, it's rare, it's uncommon, you have to go find this.

Mike:I'm like, I got this now.

Mike:And you're like, alright, fucking easy.

Josh:Yeah, fine.

Mike:Easy.

Josh:Great.

Josh:Easy.

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:I drag and drop.

Josh:It's done.

Josh:Perfect.

Jorge:We could just play four wizards next campaign.

Tanner:Shield spike.

Josh:Fine.

Noah:Everyone's a wizard.

Josh:I don't think that would go well for you, but you're welcome to.

Josh:I mean, I have already decided next campaign on Færrin, no Thaumaturges.

Josh:They banned them.

Josh:They're gone.

Mike:Just as I was about to play a face.

Josh:Thaumaturgists aren't a charisma class.

Jorge:There they are.

Mike:Depends how you build them, eh?

Jorge:No, they're esoteric.

Josh:They're charisma-ish.

Josh:What do you have that's based off your charisma?

Jorge:Esoteric.

Josh:Is esoteric a charisma skill?

Jorge:Yeah, for thaumaturge.

Noah:Yeah, it's charisma-based.

Tanner:He's popping in and out.

Noah:That's why it's so silly.

Josh:That's stupid.

Jorge:They're like storytelling, that's why.

Jorge:It's almost like the bard's excuse.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:That's ridiculous.

Jorge:You know, they are the face.

Jorge:They're just, they're great.

Jorge:They're a good class.

Jorge:It's hard to see Leo.

Josh:He's there.

Josh:He's saying hi.

Jorge:Well, I got to go take him for a walk.

Jorge:All right.

Josh:Alrighty.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:Does Monday next week work?

Jorge:Sounds good.

Tanner:Yes.

Mike:Yeah.

Jorge:All right.

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:Adios, machachos.

Josh:Bye-bye.

Tanner:Bam.