2026-4-13 — Akasha

Benny:now recording i know i was waiting for my headset to turn on i have to get new headphone cushions these are turning to sticky residue which i don't which i don't like i'm not a big fan of sticky residue on my give me one second

Argyle:I beat you.

Argyle:You don't get to hear it.

Argyle:On your what?

Argyle:Where do you like sticky residue?

Argyle:Cinnabons are the only acceptable answer.

Benny:I missed all of that.

Johnny:hello dang i scared him off i think so

Argyle:Oh.

Argyle:That's a shame.

Argyle:I was really cooking.

Benny:You're talking about my sticky headphones?

Argyle:Hello.

Argyle:I'm going to be right back.

Benny:I was going to say, did you think you made him uncomfortable?

Benny:I'm going to be right back.

Argyle:I can hear you.

Argyle:I'm just cleaning the cat litter.

Johnny:Dang, Jorge would rather hang out with cat litter than me.

Gamemaster:We're talking about cat litter?

Benny:Honestly, it feels even worse.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:Noah joined the call.

Benny:That's right.

Benny:I got to get rid of the cat shit.

Johnny:Got all this cat litter around.

Gamemaster:What's going on?

Benny:Josh joins.

Benny:Jorge is like, that's right.

Benny:I got to take a shit too.

Benny:We just all remind him of different poops.

Johnny:I hopped on the call and Jorge immediately left to go clean up cat litter.

Johnny:I think it was personal.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that sounds like something he'd do.

Gamemaster:That tracks.

Johnny:right oh no mind bird

Gamemaster:Is Tana attending?

Gamemaster:If not, that's fine.

Gamemaster:We can just kill Anzu.

Gamemaster:That's acceptable.

Benny:I think it's a good idea.

Gamemaster:Just to kill Anzu?

Gamemaster:Part of the problem is, like, I do have combats planned for the near future, and I did plan them with the expectation that there would be four people in the party while they're happening.

Benny:Mm-hmm.

Benny:Benny's been holding back.

Gamemaster:But it would be... It'd be disingenuous of me to, uh... Oh.

Johnny:Hi, Tanner.

Gamemaster:Never mind.

Gamemaster:No TPK.

Anzu:What?

Anzu:Hi, folks.

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Gamemaster:It's fine.

Gamemaster:Hello!

Anzu:Apologies.

Gamemaster:Don't worry.

Gamemaster:Uh, Jorge is taking a shit in his cat's litter box, I think?

Johnny:That's what I heard.

Benny:Yeah, I think now that you're here, he's got to take care of dog shit or something.

Gamemaster:I think that's what I missed.

Benny:Listen.

Gamemaster:Sure, he does have a dog.

Anzu:All right.

Gamemaster:That's true.

Anzu:No, I don't.

Gamemaster:You don't think he has a dog?

Anzu:No, I don't think that's what Mike was getting at.

Johnny:Leo is not real.

Johnny:You heard it here first.

Anzu:Anyway, I almost forgot to feed the cat, so that's... Yes, so the cat is new only in the fact that she's not lived in this house before.

Gamemaster:You should feed the cat.

Gamemaster:Although I will say, in the few instances I've forgotten to feed my cat, my cat has reminded me.

Gamemaster:So I imagine at some point your cat would have also reminded you.

Johnny:Is this a new cat?

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Johnny:I saw pictures of the cat last week.

Anzu:It's my grandpa's cat.

Anzu:She's 15.

Anzu:And, yeah, my grandpa got moved to memory care at his assisted living facility, and he's not allowed to have his cat anymore.

Johnny:Oh, cat.

Anzu:So Liz and I took the cat.

Johnny:Wow.

Johnny:That was nice, Hugh.

Anzu:Keeping it in the family, you know what I'm saying?

Johnny:Family cat.

Anzu:Yeah.

Johnny:How long do cats live?

Johnny:I've never had a cat, so I don't know.

Johnny:I don't know cat things.

Anzu:So, who knows what'll happen?

Gamemaster:12 to 20 years.

Gamemaster:Depends on luck of the draw.

Gamemaster:It's an old cat, but you could definitely still have a considerable amount of time with this cat.

Gamemaster:It's not geriatric yet, by any means.

Anzu:Yeah.

Anzu:She does have a... some kind of thyroid issue that I don't fully understand.

Anzu:So I don't know if that will have an effect, but...

Johnny:Oh, no.

Benny:Is that even allowed?

Gamemaster:Well.

Benny:I thought it was, like, a human thing.

Anzu:Um, you know, yeah, no cats have thyroids and, uh, you know, anything and everything can go wrong.

Johnny:They're allowed to have it.

Benny:No, but I know they have thyroids, but, like, of course cats have thyroids.

Benny:But, like, a thyroid issue.

Johnny:They're just not allowed to have issues with it.

Benny:Mm-hmm.

Benny:It's like, oh, I need to give my cat the kidney medicine.

Benny:I'm not allowed to have kidney issues.

Benny:They're a cat.

Gamemaster:My co-worker recently needed to transport his cat on the train.

Gamemaster:And his cat was semi-feral when he got it.

Gamemaster:And so it needed to be medically convinced to sit on a train for five hours.

Gamemaster:And so his vet prescribed his cat Xanax.

Anzu:Holy.

Gamemaster:And it's human Xanax.

Gamemaster:It's just a smaller dose of human Xanax.

Gamemaster:It's the same thing.

Gamemaster:So, yeah.

Anzu:Wow.

Benny:You guys just flicking off a bar on a fucking subway.

Gamemaster:Sometimes cats are just like people.

Gamemaster:It happens.

Argyle:I had a, someone I knew that was Filipino in college was once, she had like Anaïs issue or something like that.

Argyle:So she went to CVS because her like telehealth doctor from back home prescribed a medication for her to pick up.

Argyle:And then the CVS pharmacist was just like, I can't really fill that out because we give that medication to dogs in the US.

Benny:Thank you.

Argyle:This is the one we give to people.

Gamemaster:Nice.

Argyle:We haven't done it.

Argyle:We haven't given the other one to people in like 40 years.

Argyle:It was like... She took it like a champ, though.

Argyle:She was like, ah, third world doctors, what can you say?

Argyle:What can you do?

Gamemaster:But she didn't demand the dog medicine.

Argyle:No, no, it was just like an older medicine that's probably available in the Philippines, but we just have better stuff here.

Johnny:It's not like heartworm medicine.

Johnny:I don't know about that.

Gamemaster:Ooh.

Argyle:Most vet meds are just like people meds that they're just like, all right, well.

Gamemaster:I mean, that makes sense.

Gamemaster:Ivermectin is just as good on people as it is on horses, so.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Benadryl, basically all the steroids, everything, basically.

Gamemaster:I give my cats Tylenol all the time.

Gamemaster:Tylenol.

Johnny:Catlinol.

Gamemaster:I'm just trying to make them autistic.

Gamemaster:It hasn't worked yet, but we're getting there.

Johnny:You got to finish those rounds of shots, all the vaccines.

Gamemaster:They are vaccinated.

Johnny:Oh, they're probably .

Argyle:I kind of think a non-autistic cat would be weirder.

Benny:Oh.

Argyle:I feel like they're all kind of autistic.

Gamemaster:I don't know if my cats are autistic, but they're definitely dumb.

Gamemaster:And if they weren't before, after running face-first into furniture so often, they are now.

Gamemaster:So, that's fine.

Benny:very hard to think of an eminent lyric where he says dog aspirin, but I can't remember the rest of the lyric.

Benny:I just know he says dog aspirin.

Anzu:I don't know, ask Gemini or something.

Argyle:I saw a reel from Benny Blanco, I think.

Argyle:It was like a clip from a Benny Blanco podcast, and he was talking about Eminem.

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Argyle:And I was like, this is the most aura-farming shit I've ever heard.

Argyle:Someone was like, oh, have you worked with him before?

Argyle:Or texted him before?

Argyle:And he's like, you do not text Eminem.

Argyle:He only has four numbers in his phone.

Argyle:You text one of them, and then if they think he'll care, they'll then text him.

Johnny:It.

Argyle:And then...

Argyle:Apparently he likes to drive this one car.

Argyle:It's this old car that apparently is not even that nice.

Argyle:But when he goes to LA, they have to literally ship the car over because he refuses to drive in anything else.

Argyle:Not even the same model, same year.

Argyle:He's like, that's my car.

Argyle:And he still has to burn CDs or tapes because that car only works on that.

Johnny:It sounds like he's not oral farming.

Johnny:It sounds like he really likes things a specific way and is just Eminem so he can just have them that way.

Argyle:He's like, no, I'm not going to drive another car.

Anzu:I agree.

Anzu:He earned it

Benny:He said on a song released in 2013, he was complaining about figuring out fucking iTunes.

Argyle:What the fuck are you talking about?

Johnny:If I could go across the country and just have my car, I'd be like, great, I don't want to rent a car.

Johnny:I don't want somebody else's car.

Benny:So I can imagine in 2026, he's like, I'm done.

Argyle:I love hearing about these random producers, or really talented artists or producers, because they're just like, this is the way I am, deal with it.

Johnny:He's like, I don't know where iTunes is anymore.

Johnny:What happened to iTunes?

Johnny:I can't find the app.

Anzu:Thank you.

Argyle:Also, there was an interview with Benny Blanco also.

Argyle:I don't know why I got two of his things, but someone, some music theory person was talking about

Johnny:Really on Betty Blanco.

Argyle:why did basically, cause he produced a lot of the hits and like the, I think the 2000 or something like that.

Argyle:Um, and they were asking him like why he chose this one, like, uh, I think like cadence and they had like all of this reasons why.

Benny:Thank you.

Argyle:And apparently like their music professor in college was explaining why he chose this and they were talking to him and he was just like garage band has that by default.

Argyle:And I didn't know how to switch it.

Anzu:Oh yeah.

Argyle:Most of music.

Argyle:It was just all at that cadence.

Argyle:Because he was like, I don't know how to change it.

Argyle:I make music sound good.

Argyle:I don't know how to do that.

Benny:That's from 2013.

Johnny:No disrespect to technology.

Johnny:Is this by Rupi Kaur?

Gamemaster:That's a good question.

Gamemaster:What is with all these buttons?

Johnny:Is that the author of this poem?

Benny:Although you might be able to get away with it.

Gamemaster:Who?

Johnny:You guys ever watch Lucha Libre?

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:Yeah.

Johnny:I went to a Lucha Libre show this past week.

Johnny:It's the craziest thing.

Johnny:They don't even try to pretend that it's not all choreographed, but it's the craziest thing.

Johnny:They're like doing flips off of each other's necks.

Johnny:They'll like pick someone up and throw them out of the ring and then do like two somersaults in the air and dive bomb them.

Johnny:And then the one guy's clearly injured, but he's like, the script says I have to get back up, and so he's like limping.

Johnny:He's like, ugh.

Benny:They get punished.

Gamemaster:Were there many Lucha Libre events in Colorado?

Gamemaster:Actually, I don't know where they would be normally.

Argyle:He was in Mexico.

Gamemaster:Mexico, probably.

Johnny:Ugh.

Johnny:I was in Mexico City.

Gamemaster:Oh, you were in Mexico.

Gamemaster:That would explain it.

Gamemaster:That makes way more sense.

Anzu:How was Mexico?

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:Mm-hmm.

Johnny:It was very fun.

Johnny:I've never been to Mexico and not been to a resort, so it was cool seeing a part of Mexico that wasn't a resort.

Anzu:Nice.

Johnny:A lot of good food.

Anzu:Yeah.

Johnny:Some guy walked up to me and Daisy and was like, can I have that food you're eating?

Johnny:And we were like, no.

Johnny:And he was like, will you buy me food?

Johnny:And we were like, no.

Johnny:And then he got very upset and stormed off.

Gamemaster:Understandable.

Benny:I wonder if that usually works.

Gamemaster:He wanted food.

Anzu:You got to respect the grind.

Johnny:Yeah.

Argyle:Probably works.

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:I have to imagine if you're, like, aggressive enough about it and, like, confident, somebody might just be like, here, I don't want to deal with this and hand over the food.

Anzu:I probably would have handed him my food.

Johnny:He was very confident.

Anzu:Yeah.

Johnny:He was so confident.

Johnny:At first, we were like, what?

Johnny:As soon as 9 p.m.

Johnny:hit, all the streets, almost like it had rained and there were worms, a bunch of groups of college frat boys bubbled up out of the ground.

Gamemaster:That's funny.

Anzu:All right.

Gamemaster:I didn't know they lived in the dirt.

Johnny:Yeah.

Argyle:Oh, spring break, yeah.

Benny:So they did in Venice.

Argyle:Yeah, it was spring break.

Johnny:It was very cool, though.

Johnny:I really liked it.

Johnny:We saw Lucha Libre, which was crazy.

Argyle:That's good.

Johnny:Took a tour of some canals that were not actually canals.

Johnny:They were a big lake that they just, like, made a bunch of little islands on and turned them into canals.

Johnny:It was cool.

Anzu:That's literally...

Argyle:That's very Mexican.

Argyle:That's how they made the Aztecs capital.

Johnny:Mm-hmm.

Johnny:Everyone I talked... Like, every one of the tour guides talked about history.

Johnny:They were like, yeah, the Spaniards used Catholicism to enslave us, but, you know... And then, like, crossed themselves.

Benny:I mean, they had a point.

Benny:Anyway, so this is when you clap, the pyramid will clap back.

Benny:Isn't that cool?

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:That's so fucked up.

Johnny:It was so fucked up.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:It was good.

Johnny:I would recommend.

Argyle:It's funny that some of... I guess Spain's colonies are on average way more religious than Spain is anymore.

Argyle:I think the Philippines are the most Catholic country outside of the Vatican.

Benny:That's fucking... Why do they even compare it?

Anzu:Yeah.

Argyle:It's one of them.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:Just say it's the most Catholic country.

Benny:That's like being like... This is the most... I don't know.

Argyle:Thank you.

Benny:This is the most pro... Like... I don't know.

Benny:I'm just thinking of... I don't know.

Johnny:It's like saying it's the...

Benny:This is the most pro... This is the most pro-Elon Musk person.

Anzu:The Vatican should not count.

Gamemaster:It's a country.

Gamemaster:It's Catholic.

Gamemaster:Why wouldn't it count?

Benny:Us...

Benny:Yeah, well, that's just, it's just stupid.

Gamemaster:Israel is the most Jewish country.

Gamemaster:Well, it's the second most Jewish country, but it's up there.

Gamemaster:You don't discount it.

Gamemaster:Vatican counts.

Gamemaster:It's Catholic.

Benny:It's like... Yeah, but Vatican is like a construct, though.

Benny:That's why it feels weird to count it, because it's like...

Gamemaster:All countries are constructs.

Benny:Half of the people in this room voted to give Mike all of their money.

Benny:And it's just like there are two people in the room and one of them is Mike.

Benny:Like, you can't count that.

Benny:That's the person himself.

Anzu:When I... On my plane ride back from Italy, there was a large group of some conservative sect of Judaism.

Gamemaster:I think that counts.

Johnny:Hey, the math checks out.

Anzu:You know, they got all the hats and whatnot.

Anzu:And the guy sitting next to me, he turns to me at one point, and mind you, we're flying out of Rome.

Gamemaster:The facets.

Anzu:He goes, you know, there were...

Anzu:a lot of Christian people around.

Anzu:And I was like, yes, well, this is the place for that.

Gamemaster:He's not wrong.

Anzu:I mean, this is literally where it is.

Johnny:That's kind of a crazy thing to say, but also, if he was from a really religious part of New York, they still speak Yiddish as the primary language.

Anzu:But he had no idea.

Argyle:I remember John Wick 2 where he shows up in Rome and he goes to their underground criminal hotel and the guy's like, hey John, I'm so glad to see you.

Anzu:He was like, yeah, I don't know.

Anzu:Why were there so many Christians here?

Anzu:All right.

Johnny:That's crazy.

Argyle:I just have to ask.

Argyle:are you here for the Pope?

Gamemaster:It's a good question.

Argyle:I didn't think he could ask.

Johnny:If the dude who kills people shows up in your city, you're like, we got one really important guy here.

Argyle:And he's like, yeah, yeah.

Gamemaster:It's worth asking.

Johnny:We need to know if we have to have a backup.

Benny:Because that's just unnecessary aura farming by the writers, but it's done so well in those movies.

Argyle:Yeah, yeah.

Benny:They're like, oh, but what of the receptionist?

Benny:He doesn't think, but John Wick could kill the Pope.

Benny:We have to make that a point in this scene.

Argyle:I believe the Vatican City also has the highest amount of Bloomberg terminals per person.

Johnny:That's a dumb statistic.

Argyle:And the most registered CPAs.

Gamemaster:her person.

Benny:There's an animal.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Yeah, they have the highest.

Benny:It's not like two per person, but it's sub one, but it is the highest per capita.

Argyle:There's 17 terminals for 883 people.

Argyle:I think the next highest is like Luxembourg or something.

Benny:Reasonable.

Benny:I think there are... Maybe there's halal ETFs.

Benny:They have ETFs like these are halal companies.

Benny:I don't know if they did the same thing for Christianity.

Argyle:The Pope was making one this year, if it's not out yet.

Benny:Okay, okay.

Johnny:So.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:those fucking passive management fees rolling into the Vatican because they made a fucking ETF.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:How do you think you pay for a city made of gold?

Argyle:Huh?

Benny:I would guess they probably have an artifact in the basement that fucking turns lead into gold.

Benny:That would be my fucking guess.

Johnny:They killed Nicholas Flamel in the 1500s or were like, this guy's onto something.

Johnny:Let's keep using his stone.

Benny:But aren't there legitimate artifacts deep within the Vatican that people that are so old and so obscure that they're just like, we're not telling anyone about this?

Argyle:Yeah, so they're called relics, just generally, like all of that stuff.

Gamemaster:How would we know?

Benny:I mean...

Argyle:And there's tiers to them.

Argyle:And I think the tier zero or tier one is like, it came from Christ.

Argyle:And then how far removed it is from Christ, that's the tier of your relic.

Benny:It's degrees of Kevin Bacon, but for relics from Christ.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:Yeah, I got this poem from ancient Egypt.

Benny:But yeah, they... They have a room where like, yeah, no, you could go in and see what's in there, but we have to kill you when you come out.

Johnny:It's like four Christ degrees.

Benny:It's just like, you have to kill everyone?

Benny:It's like, yeah, no, people don't.

Benny:Mainly old people come here to see that they're going to die anyways.

Benny:I wouldn't go in there.

Anzu:Not a horrible way to go.

Argyle:The Vatican's military is just the Swiss Guard still.

Anzu:Right.

Benny:That's crazy, bro.

Benny:They're making money moves.

Benny:They have Swiss imported guards.

Benny:Even our guards are imported.

Benny:Oh, I have...

Gamemaster:What do we feel about playing golf?

Benny:I have a funny, I had a funny realization.

Benny:I had originally wanted to purchase three watches total after.

Gamemaster:Like in your life?

Benny:Yeah.

Benny:After, I guess, I don't know, maybe more than three, but like after 40, 80, 120 hours of research to narrow it down to one, I have now 20 watches that I want to purchase.

Benny:Yeah.

Anzu:Hmm.

Benny:don't i thought it was gonna be like oh there's the luxury brands and you'll buy like one maybe but there's nothing else and it's like oh have you heard of this micro brand they do this i'm like ah that's so cool how much is it they're like affordable i'm like fuck stop making these watches so affordable like they really hit every price point uh

Gamemaster:What is a cool feature on a watch that makes you want to purchase it other than tells time?

Benny:So one of them is they added a suspension to the watch.

Benny:One of the cool ones is the Grand Seiko, what's it called, spring drive.

Benny:They essentially have the only continuous moving seconds hand on a watch by combining quartz with what they call a frictionless break.

Benny:There's a mechanical inversion.

Benny:Spring Drive is very cool.

Gamemaster:Yeah, how many wrists do you have?

Benny:I don't know.

Anzu:Now how many watches are you going to wear simultaneously?

Benny:Two maximum.

Gamemaster:You already have two things on your two wrists.

Benny:Yeah, I have to take this one off.

Johnny:Oh no.

Gamemaster:But then how will you know if you get a notification?

Benny:So what?

Benny:God willing, I won't.

Benny:This thing vibrates maybe once a day.

Benny:Thank God.

Benny:I have all of my notifications on silent.

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Benny:I use this to check the weather, the time, the date.

Johnny:Wait.

Benny:And what else?

Johnny:The wrist notification machine you don't use for notifications on your wrist?

Benny:It drives me fucking crazy.

Benny:Absolutely not.

Johnny:But that's the whole point of the wrist notification machine.

Benny:No, it's okay.

Benny:It's good for other stuff.

Benny:Tracking, like, movement.

Johnny:You can be like... Is it the one telling you you've been sitting for too long and need to stand up?

Benny:It's useful for some notification.

Benny:Like the one notification I get a day that I actually allowed to buzz my wrist.

Benny:That's fine.

Benny:No, that one actually drives me fucking crazy.

Benny:That one I'll probably turn off at some point because I'm like working and I just feel like tapping on my wrist.

Benny:I'm like everything in my brain is gone.

Benny:And then I look and it's like you're going to stand for this hour.

Benny:I'll fucking kill you.

Gamemaster:How long have you owned an Apple Watch?

Benny:Um, since like 2018, maybe 2017.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:It's been eight-ish years, maybe a little longer.

Gamemaster:If you were going to turn off the stand-up reminders at some point, it would have been six years ago, at least.

Benny:It really depends because I didn't turn off the notifications until like maybe four years ago or three years ago.

Anzu:Thank you.

Benny:I'd like to like a full notification cleanup.

Benny:So maybe this is like the last vestige of dumb fucking notifications that will snap me out of whatever I'm working on and I can just remove it.

Argyle:Have you thought about standing up?

Benny:I could do that too.

Benny:See, it doesn't go off most of the time.

Gamemaster:Now that doesn't track.

Benny:If it was every hour and I was sitting, it would be off by now, but because it's very intermittent.

Benny:I also think I have a suspicion that they don't tell me it on every hour.

Benny:Which is even... No, no, no.

Gamemaster:Well, they don't tell you on hours where you stood up.

Benny:I mean, they don't tell me on every hour where I don't move.

Gamemaster:I mean, that sounds wrong.

Benny:It does.

Johnny:Thank you.

Benny:It sounds almost like it's random.

Benny:And it's just under my threshold for turning it off.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:It sounds like it's intentionally under my threshold for turning... It's almost... It knows.

Gamemaster:It's doing it on purpose.

Gamemaster:It knows.

Gamemaster:Sometimes it knows.

Argyle:People literally used to slow down operating systems of old phones so you'd buy new ones.

Anzu:Health preservation.

Argyle:I believe all of the conspiracy theories about them.

Gamemaster:Like, that conspiracy theory is silly, because it means that the people who like the feature don't get what they want out of the feature.

Argyle:Nope.

Gamemaster:And what does Apple gain out of the feature not being disabled for people who don't like it?

Argyle:Well, you know when...

Gamemaster:It's not like they get paid money.

Argyle:It's basically like an exponential backoff.

Gamemaster:But what's the upside?

Argyle:It's basically an exponential backoff.

Argyle:They're like, oh, he keeps ignoring this.

Benny:But they do because they track usage.

Argyle:Let me just slow it down.

Benny:It's like Amazon being like, yo, you haven't used your 10 gigs of cloud storage.

Benny:They want you to use it so that you can't switch to something else.

Benny:So if you're like, oh, I like the stand-up reminder, you won't be like, I'll get a watch that doesn't do the stand-up reminders.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:It sticks you a bit more.

Gamemaster:But if you like the stand-up reminders, you want them to remind you to stand up, and you're more likely to notice when they don't.

Argyle:Josh, why do people subscribe to gyms or Duolingo?

Benny:Yeah, two lingo.

Gamemaster:It's really to go to a gym or to say some words in another language.

Argyle:No, most of gyms' profits are from people that just don't attend.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:That doesn't... Like, I don't know if that's...

Argyle:And Duolingo's famous for harassing people.

Gamemaster:I just, people keep up their streaks in Duolingo, first of all.

Benny:Like... Well, like...

Gamemaster:Like, that is definitely a thing people do.

Gamemaster:And I don't know if the gym comparison is necessarily associated, it's like a one-to-one comparison there.

Argyle:I mean, people, it's... Well, Duolingo people are famous for ignoring it.

Benny:Well, like Paramount+.

Gamemaster:Because the Apple, the... It's just the, like, Apple slowing down phones has an immediate positive upside for Apple, which is my phone is slow, so I will give Apple more money.

Argyle:And they're like, Duolingo's going to kill me because I didn't do it.

Gamemaster:Apple hamstringing a feature that is free such that it is the worst case for everyone, whether they want it to work or whether they don't, doesn't have an obvious immediate benefit to Apple for doing that.

Argyle:Well, first of all, they could just do an exponential back off.

Argyle:If you're not using it, then they slowly start backing it off.

Argyle:But people that actually use it get the use out of it.

Gamemaster:How do they know if somebody's using it?

Argyle:And they know if you're standing up or not.

Benny:Yeah, if you look at it or stand up in the remaining 10 minutes.

Argyle:That's how they can tell.

Argyle:Also, the watch knows if you're standing up or not.

Gamemaster:I guess if you look at it.

Gamemaster:But, like, I just... Right, but... But, I mean, if it were an exponential backup or whatever, then eight years on, Mike wouldn't still be getting the alerts.

Argyle:That's how it gives you an alert.

Argyle:And if it gives you an alert and then people stand up, they're going to go, oh, it's used.

Argyle:Yeah, I'm not saying it's actually an exponential backoff.

Argyle:I'm just saying they could do something.

Benny:No, but sometimes I don't.

Argyle:They could have some backoff.

Benny:Sometimes I do stand and walk around.

Benny:Sometimes it's because of the notification.

Benny:Sometimes it's incidental.

Benny:Sometimes I have been walking around and it still lets me know.

Benny:And I'm like, I just stood up.

Benny:I've been walking for 30 seconds.

Benny:So I didn't hit the full minute yet.

Benny:And I will hit the full minute.

Gamemaster:I... I...

Benny:But it's like Paramount Plus, which actually is the newest app to go to my notification graveyard.

Benny:It usually sends me notifications for the UFC cards, which I like.

Benny:And then today it's like, oh, you see this fucking show?

Benny:And it's like, I'm already paying for you.

Benny:Don't tell me about the show.

Benny:And then I now was no longer sending me any notifications.

Benny:But that cost them to serve me the show.

Benny:It's just trying to make the service stickier.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Gamemaster:I don't buy it, but... Right, because they're... Yeah.

Benny:They want...

Benny:This is the first time they've sent me a notification for non-UFC things.

Benny:They want to be right at the threshold where they still send them, but I don't get mad.

Gamemaster:Yeah, they're trying to... But they're trying to convert you to... But, like...

Benny:Which is the same thing for The Watch.

Benny:Maybe.

Gamemaster:Once again, for that particular example, if I were somebody who wanted Paramount Plus to send me notifications because I'm interested in the new shows that are coming out on Paramount Plus, and then they stopped doing that, then I would be annoyed with them.

Gamemaster:And I'm like the target audience there.

Benny:What do you mean, why would they stop sending it to you?

Gamemaster:Because in this scenario, Apple just randomly makes this stand-up thing work less because they hate making a feature, I suppose.

Argyle:No, no, no, but if you keep standing up, it wouldn't be backing off.

Benny:No, no.

Benny:Yeah, if you push, if you do every... Yeah, if you do every time, but it's not used...

Argyle:In your Paramount example, if you kept watching it, they would keep showing you it.

Benny:You want to make sure that you're staying under the annoyance threshold to where it gets turned off entirely and they stop using the service.

Benny:They want to annoy you, but not enough that you stop the annoyance.

Gamemaster:I don't know if that necessarily applies to an Apple Watch, because it's like providing a service, it's part of the package of other things.

Gamemaster:I don't know if the stand-up reminders thing is included in that.

Benny:I don't think...

Gamemaster:Also, none of this matters.

Benny:Well, I will say, I don't think those consequences that you described preclude it from being the sort of annoyance thing.

Benny:I just don't think they're doing that with stand-up reminders, just on more principle.

Benny:But it could be... A similar thing could exist in a different device by a different company.

Benny:I just don't see Apple doing this kind of shit.

Gamemaster:Okay, we were talking about an Apple product.

Benny:Amazon does it, apparently.

Benny:Yeah, well, I mean...

Benny:That's my conspiracy.

Benny:It would not be a conspiracy if this was an Amazon product.

Benny:That... When I'm standing or whatever?

Argyle:Sorry, and before we close this, is it also possible your watch just needs to be recalibrated and doesn't know?

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:Can it be recalibrated?

Argyle:Apparently.

Benny:The fuck?

Gamemaster:Hand lens razor.

Benny:I don't care enough to recalibrate it.

Benny:It's going to be replaced with a French watch where they make 30 a year.

Benny:Soon.

Argyle:Oh!

Gamemaster:And then it'll never buzz.

Argyle:Wait, which one is this?

Benny:Do you want to see one of the ones I'm looking at?

Benny:Do you want to see?

Argyle:Yeah, send it to me.

Argyle:Send it to me.

Gamemaster:Just send it into the chat.

Gamemaster:We all want to see what Watch Mike is planning on purchasing.

Johnny:I do want to see the watch, actually.

Gamemaster:The first of 30, it sounds like.

Johnny:Also, you said you can only wear two.

Anzu:I want to see this secondhand glide.

Benny:Oh, you want to see the spring?

Johnny:You can put two around your ankles.

Benny:I'm not buying a spring drive.

Johnny:You can get four watches, one on each wrist, one around the ankles.

Johnny:I'm just saying, if you're really a watch guy.

Argyle:That's true.

Gamemaster:If you wear a watch on your ankle as an added benefit, some people might think you're under house arrest and escaped.

Anzu:Ooh.

Gamemaster:That could be fun.

Benny:Let me pull up the spring drive.

Johnny:I just logged into https://btl.iridi.cc.

Anzu:Oh, don't worry about this at all, Noah.

Anzu:This is nothing.

Johnny:What is happening here?

Gamemaster:Nothing's happening.

Gamemaster:They were just doing stuff.

Gamemaster:Do you like Bob?

Johnny:I do like Bob.

Johnny:Bob is untouched.

Gamemaster:I... I, um... Yeah, I accidentally gave away something that I didn't realize at the time Mike was trying to keep secret when I assigned the image for Bob.

Johnny:Oh, Bob's ahead.

Benny:They didn't catch on.

Gamemaster:Because for the first three quarters of the session, Bob was ahead wearing a trench coat.

Argyle:I caught him.

Gamemaster:And then it was a surprise that there was nothing in the trench coat.

Gamemaster:It was just a floating head.

Gamemaster:I mean...

Argyle:Okay, to actually be honest with you, the only reason I didn't catch on was because I didn't realize Mike was hiding it until he revealed it.

Argyle:And then I was like, oh, it was him.

Benny:There were hints.

Argyle:I thought we just all knew it was him.

Benny:There were hints, which I thought were so funny when I said them.

Benny:Like, Bob floats over to me or whatever.

Benny:No mention of walking.

Benny:You're like, do you guys hear Bob's footsteps?

Benny:Bob does not have footsteps.

Benny:There was one where it's just like, oh, Bob can put his hand on your back because Bob has night vision or dark vision, but I don't.

Benny:I was like, that might be a little bit difficult.

Benny:Then we just moved on.

Benny:Then later...

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:You guys were talking about bowling, and I turned about, and I was like, they should see us bowl, implying that I roll his head down the aisle.

Benny:That one Josh laughed at.

Argyle:No.

Anzu:Mike, you make the most minuscule hints that someone that doesn't have any idea what's going on would ever pick up.

Gamemaster:I will say, in this particular instance, it was good that he kept it a secret, because if you knew that Bob didn't have feet, and you got to add an extra d20 of damage to him, we would have been in trouble.

Johnny:What?

Anzu:Oh yeah, my character did an extra d20 to creatures without feet.

Gamemaster:Okay?

Anzu:Yeah, that was part of my backstory.

Benny:There was there.

Johnny:That's a cool backstory.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Anzu:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:And it wasn't until when Mike said that he put Bob on the scanner for the keys that I was like, oh, I'm not supposed to know he's a floating head.

Argyle:Now, when we got to that point, I was like, oh, this is supposed to be a surprise?

Argyle:And then when he unveiled him for Alpha Formation, I was like, oh, okay, I'm so sorry.

Johnny:What?

Argyle:Oh, no!

Benny:There was something that Josh mentioned, just like, as a researcher of whatever cave technology, you know that you don't have to put an orb in the slot.

Benny:You can just, like, ball up your fist and put it in there.

Benny:And I was like, I grabbed the back of Bob's head and put his face into it.

Johnny:What?

Johnny:What was this one shot?

Gamemaster:Okay, well, do we want to play some Pathfinder?

Anzu:Woo.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:If we're going to play some Pathfinder, then maybe we should do two recaps.

Gamemaster:One of last session, and then one of the last campaign session.

Anzu:Woo.

Anzu:All right.

Gamemaster:Jorge has his hand, I think, raised.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:I want to do the one shot.

Gamemaster:You can go first.

Gamemaster:Sure, do the one-shot.

Argyle:So the one shot took place.

Argyle:We were Sedecium.

Argyle:We got a call from an unknown entity.

Argyle:We all think it's tech.

Argyle:that told us to go investigate something.

Argyle:This is about 860 years after the events of the first campaign?

Gamemaster:around there.

Gamemaster:It entered in 60 years after the events of the second campaign.

Argyle:Oh, okay, okay, okay.

Argyle:So, a little backstory on the characters.

Argyle:We had an old man with his assistant who we don't know why doesn't...

Argyle:They don't make sounds when they walk.

Argyle:And there was a guy who was a very beefy guy who got pulled out of the mud by the other characters.

Johnny:William Neeson?

Argyle:And then there was a very small three and a half foot goblin with a four and a half foot long arquebus.

Argyle:And action movie star had to save his daughter.

Argyle:And if he died, his daughter's going to die.

Argyle:Whatever, whatever.

Gamemaster:Sorry, can I interrupt for half a second?

Johnny:Was it taken?

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Uh, I, because I'm, like, working through building a local LLM pipeline for reading in the transcripts and stuff, I had it do a recap of the previous session, and it took your character's backstory so seriously.

Argyle:Uh-huh.

Gamemaster:It's like, the stakes are so high, he has the cure for his daughter in his hands, and he needs to survive just this one last mission.

Gamemaster:And, like, throughout the recap, it keeps coming back to how important it is he gets back to his daughter.

Gamemaster:It was terrible.

Argyle:Do you have the paragraph to share?

Argyle:So, Noah, basically for context, I made my character have a stereotypical backstory where he's just like, I'm the only one left for my daughter, but I'm only going to do one more mission.

Gamemaster:I don't.

Gamemaster:I didn't save it.

Gamemaster:His wife was dead under mysterious circumstances that the government wouldn't investigate.

Argyle:And she needs...

Johnny:Who's the

Gamemaster:His daughter had a disease that he couldn't afford the cure for, but he had the cure on hand.

Gamemaster:He just needed to do one last mission.

Argyle:But right after I said, I need you one more mission, Josh is just like, Sedecium's... By the way, all of you guys can reboot through Sedecium.

Argyle:Everyone gets revived.

Argyle:So then I had to be like, my character knows the information, but if he dies... Anyway, we go to the space station.

Argyle:We investigate.

Argyle:It's not powered.

Argyle:A lot of dust.

Argyle:We see some tracks.

Argyle:We say, eh, we're not going to look at those tracks at all.

Argyle:There's a supercomputer AI that's powered down.

Argyle:We investigate a little bit.

Argyle:Old man's really perceptive on how the power system works.

Argyle:We jumpstart it.

Argyle:We talk to the AI.

Argyle:Turns out the AI was getting tortured.

Argyle:There was some magic script to torture it to get to what it wants.

Benny:you you

Argyle:We're like, wow, that's weird.

Argyle:We undid that.

Argyle:We talked to the AI, and then it was immediately just like, you're not Sundom.

Argyle:I won't help you.

Argyle:And we're like, that's probably why the people tortured it.

Argyle:So we investigated.

Argyle:We found some bunks.

Argyle:We're like, wow, this is crazy.

Argyle:And then we looked.

Argyle:We're like, oh, here's how we pilot the thing.

Argyle:And then we decided to rotate it.

Argyle:And we rotated it.

Argyle:Part of the ship was in the slip that we couldn't really activate because it's basically radioactive.

Argyle:When we rotate it slightly, we can then activate the observation deck, which was previously in slip space.

Argyle:We do that.

Argyle:A bunch of fiends come out.

Argyle:we dispatched of them very quickly.

Argyle:Very quickly, very swiftly.

Argyle:Lieutenant Foro started talking like an anime protagonist, being like, they activated his alpha formation.

Benny:Thank you.

Argyle:Anyway, we killed them.

Argyle:We're like, whoa, it was time.

Argyle:So we kind of hand waved.

Argyle:We talked a little bit more.

Argyle:We did some investigation.

Argyle:Turns out, once we did all of this, Sedecium can go and do all of their deep study.

Argyle:The main log showed that there was some really big event that happened with a lot of energy emitted near the source of the universe.

Argyle:Not to be confused with the evil hospital.

Gamemaster:I didn't call it the source.

Gamemaster:You just took that.

Argyle:Sorry, the center of it.

Argyle:Okay, center.

Johnny:Listen, a lot of energy was emitted from Canada.

Argyle:Different.

Gamemaster:You just took a name from somewhere else and then used it here and then said, don't confuse it with the place that I actually got it from.

Johnny:Don't get it confused with the country.

Johnny:It's the center of the universe.

Gamemaster:Yeah, exactly.

Argyle:Anyway, we did that.

Argyle:Then it turns out there was some Thessian that was like a shitty back, you know, like side character Thessian that then, yeah, fourth tier, fourth tier.

Anzu:Fourth tier, fourth tier.

Johnny:Hmm.

Argyle:And we're like, wow, that's crazy.

Argyle:But we think it went and just ate all the power that was emitted and then became like a powerful one.

Argyle:And that's where we ended the session.

Anzu:A powerful one named Esoterica.

Benny:grammar grammar grammar he became esoteric

Gamemaster:Yeah, Esoterica kind of fits the same niche as strange.

Johnny:Oh, that's such an important detail.

Johnny:Why did you leave that detail out, Jorge?

Argyle:I'm going to be honest with you, I don't know who Esoterica is.

Argyle:Was I there for this, or was this a one-shot?

Anzu:Esoterica is one of the Sinister Six.

Johnny:He's one of the big six.

Argyle:Oh, yes, I took it back.

Argyle:I do know what that is.

Argyle:Also, I'm still mad at Josh for not letting me name a Thessian Strange.

Argyle:He said there was already one called Esoterica, which is upset.

Benny:And now Esoteric is a false god, too.

Argyle:No, no, Strange is just so funny with Thessian.

Gamemaster:That is true.

Argyle:Right?

Benny:It's not even a real tier one or tier two.

Argyle:That's also fair.

Benny:But also, one slight correction.

Benny:Tech did not contact Sedecium.

Johnny:There's like a weird hole in the universe.

Benny:Tech walked by it, and Sedecium said, we can tell where this guy walks.

Benny:Let's go look.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:That is.

Johnny:Just track it.

Argyle:Noah, half of my character's other lines was going to be about him being like, I don't normally work with rookies.

Argyle:but I'm going to make an exception.

Argyle:But then one of the characters was just an old man, obviously not a rookie.

Argyle:And then Tanner started the session by saying, you pulled me out of the mud.

Argyle:I'll protect you with my life.

Argyle:And I was like, well, fuck.

Argyle:He knows all these people.

Anzu:Yeah.

Benny:You should.

Anzu:So, Jorge came in with two personality traits for his character.

Johnny:We're best friends.

Anzu:I wrecked one right off the bat, and then Josh wrecked the other one two minutes later with the revive thing.

Johnny:Who am I?

Gamemaster:Okay, in my defense, I had to wreck the second one because he was trying to make his character immortal.

Argyle:There's also a scene where we were piloting and we're like, he might be able to move it in a way that everyone gets out, but someone might need to sacrifice themselves.

Gamemaster:He was trying to make it so that it would be my fault that a random girl died.

Gamemaster:I will not have that.

Argyle:So Lieutenant Flora was just like, I guess I have to make the hero play.

Gamemaster:No, do not misrepresent that.

Gamemaster:At no point was the situation somebody might have to sacrifice themselves.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:The situation was, you're totally fine, and then unprompted, Lieutenant Forel said, you guys go on without me.

Gamemaster:I'll sacrifice myself.

Gamemaster:Like, you did not need to sacrifice yourself in order for that.

Gamemaster:Like, you successfully rotated the ship.

Gamemaster:It was fine.

Benny:Gosh, yes, and it's so hard.

Benny:He's like, yes, and you won't die.

Benny:I'm not going to have this young woman be killed, this little girl be killed in this section.

Benny:Boom, you're functionally immortal.

Johnny:Easy.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I'm trying to think if you got all of the important bits.

Gamemaster:You got... I think some of your recap was wrong, but you correctly recapped everything you said, if that makes sense.

Argyle:it's a nice watch by the way Mike

Gamemaster:Yeah, I think you got all the relevant stuff, at least.

Gamemaster:You get a mythic point.

Benny:yeah this this company has a bunch that do that if you just want if you want to go for it just search spring drive movement on their website you can find all of them not them

Gamemaster:Oh, did he send one?

Gamemaster:Is this the one where the second hand moves smoothly, or is this a different one?

Johnny:Thanks.

Gamemaster:I guess the question really is, is how much money, like how many thousands of dollars are you willing to pay for a watch where the second hand is slightly smoother than other watches?

Benny:Okay, so first off, there's one for around 800 that has a almost as smooth seconds hand, but it is smoother than every other other watch.

Gamemaster:Not bad.

Benny:It just looks okay.

Gamemaster:Not great.

Gamemaster:No.

Benny:I can send that one as well.

Gamemaster:Well.

Benny:There's not a lot of these that have smooth sweeping hands.

Gamemaster:Well, I don't care about the cheap one if it's ugly.

Gamemaster:What's the point in an ugly watch?

Benny:But it has... Are you ready?

Benny:Do you want to know the heritage of the cheap one that's kind of ugly?

Benny:It is the first watch...

Benny:on the moon to be driven in a car.

Gamemaster:What?

Benny:I'm dead serious.

Benny:It's the first watch to be driven on the moon.

Benny:There are other watches that made it to the moon first, but this one was the first one to be driven on the moon.

Benny:I'm not joking.

Gamemaster:Isn't that significant?

Benny:I guess.

Gamemaster:Why can't they just say the watch made it to the moon?

Benny:There are three watches that have made it to the moon.

Gamemaster:There can't be that many watches that have gone to the moon.

Gamemaster:And they weren't the first, but they wanted to say they were the first for something.

Benny:No, no, no, no.

Gamemaster:So like we were in a car first on the moon.

Benny:These decisions are made by astronauts.

Benny:I think the guy that wore this watch was paid by the company to wear the watch on the moon.

Benny:Because his original one, which was the first watch on the moon, that model, he's like, oh, the crystal popped off.

Gamemaster:That's so dumb.

Benny:Luckily, I have this backup prototype that this company sent me that's not released yet.

Benny:And then he slapped it on his space suit and then drove around and it got...

Benny:I'm dead serious.

Benny:That's exactly how it went.

Anzu:It's like that jar of Nutella that flew across the screen.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:This isn't even an automatic watch?

Gamemaster:You have to wind it up?

Benny:No, it's an automatic.

Benny:The spring drive?

Gamemaster:Is it?

Gamemaster:It does.

Benny:Yeah.

Benny:It probably has a power reserve indicator, but that's... Yeah, but that's because...

Gamemaster:It has a power reserve of 72 hours.

Gamemaster:So long as it's on your wrist, it's fine.

Johnny:so you

Gamemaster:That's better.

Gamemaster:You're going to have to get one of those boxes with the cool rotating things for the watches so they stay functional when you're not wearing them.

Benny:I think those are kind of... They will wear out the watch because it's just like... It might be better just to put the watch aside and then set it again.

Benny:Because these things aren't even that... Okay, the spring drive is, but normal automatic watches aren't even that accurate anyways.

Benny:Plus minus 25 seconds on the day is standard if you're not paying over 5 to 10...

Gamemaster:This one is plus minus 15 seconds a month.

Benny:the yeah the spring drive yeah the other one that i sent the one that is okay looking that was the first watch driven on the moon has plus or minus 10 seconds a year it's actually probably the most accurate quartz watch that you can get it's really a shame that it doesn't look that nice

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:It's still ugly, though.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:We're getting off topic again.

Gamemaster:And by we, I mean me.

Gamemaster:I've been off topic.

Gamemaster:Jorge, you get a mythic point?

Argyle:Yay.

Gamemaster:Can somebody not Jorge do a recap?

Gamemaster:Yes?

Gamemaster:No?

Gamemaster:Recap time.

Johnny:Last time on the main campaign, the poncho boys, we're the poncho boys.

Gamemaster:Again?

Johnny:We were like, I don't know, guys.

Johnny:Should we back off of this weird crack in reality?

Johnny:No, let's shove the little bird through.

Johnny:So we shoved the little bird through.

Johnny:We were like, oh, wow.

Johnny:There's like some buildings and then also a Giant.

Johnny:That's crazy.

Johnny:And then we were like, let's shove the child through.

Argyle:Thank you.

Johnny:So we shoved the child through.

Johnny:And the child was like, oh.

Benny:Thank you.

Johnny:Buildings.

Johnny:I think he went and looked around.

Johnny:And in one, there were people doing research.

Johnny:In another, there was, like, beds.

Johnny:It was a barracks, it looked like.

Johnny:And then one was, like, a mainframe of some sort of computer doing computational stuff.

Gamemaster:mm-hmm

Johnny:And we were like, this isn't good.

Johnny:We got to blow it up.

Johnny:So we left.

Johnny:Spent the day... Spent the day getting bombs.

Johnny:Just...

Johnny:Getting some bombs.

Johnny:Argyle went through a whole rigmarole to get some old, like, pre-Soviet era bombs.

Johnny:And then Johnny was like, can I get a bomb?

Johnny:And his terrorist organization was like, yeah, no problem, man.

Johnny:We got you.

Argyle:You have to pay for his, though.

Johnny:So we got two bombs.

Johnny:There.

Gamemaster:He did.

Gamemaster:Johnny got a modern, like, plastic explosive for some money, and Jorge got an old, fetched from some archive somewhere, artillery shell from before the, like, most recent revolution.

Gamemaster:But they both explode!

Gamemaster:So... That's true.

Argyle:That we know of.

Johnny:I can't remember what Anzu and Benny were doing during that whole time, but it wasn't getting bombs.

Benny:Okay.

Gamemaster:Not for lack of trying.

Argyle:No, they specifically didn't try because they're losers.

Gamemaster:You tried to convince them to get bombs.

Anzu:I'm not sure I did much of anything.

Argyle:Oh, yeah.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:The more bombs, the better.

Gamemaster:Double check.

Johnny:Oh, Illmari's still not back.

Johnny:That's probably not good.

Johnny:And then we're like let's go back down into the sewers So we did we were like we'll put the bombs aside for now and we went further in down the other way we found some computer terminals learned about all the Hinky stuff that

Johnny:Pyrelight's up to.

Johnny:They were trying to do something with synthesis, which, you know, apparently Tywelwyn really messed up because had discovered the whole project and now the Inquisition is mad about that.

Johnny:And then they're doing something with hybridization, which sounds like they're trying to implant the Embercall onto us good old regular listeners.

Johnny:And then there was one about the party and the pilgrimage.

Johnny:So, you know.

Johnny:That's probably nothing to be concerned about.

Johnny:And then we were like, ah, let's go blow the things up anyway.

Johnny:So we went back.

Johnny:Again, we were like, go, child, go.

Johnny:We shoved Benny through.

Johnny:We were like, place these explosives.

Johnny:And he did.

Johnny:Got out the explosives.

Johnny:We assumed the explosives went off because we were coming back.

Johnny:We had a Spider-Man moment where three other people walked up and they were like, and we were like, and now we're in a fight.

Gamemaster:Yeah, we're not quite in a fight yet, but you are right in that you had a Spider-Man moment.

Gamemaster:I will note that you... So I was scrolling through the transcript to try and figure out what you guys were doing before going, and I found that wonderful little snippet in the middle there, so I thought I would bring it to everybody's attention.

Benny:Yeah.

Johnny:Can we pin that one?

Anzu:I did not appreciate last week's snippet that got shared.

Gamemaster:Because... I don't know what you're talking about.

Anzu:Allegedly.

Johnny:Yeah.

Johnny:I see.

Johnny:What was with the granola?

Johnny:Did Mike spill a lot of granola?

Anzu:He was 10 minutes late to the session.

Benny:I did a lot of experimenting in college.

Benny:No, like that.

Anzu:Hmm.

Benny:Oh.

Anzu:Now we know why he didn't want us in his bedroom.

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Benny:There are chemicals in here.

Benny:Get out.

Johnny:We're maybe in a fight.

Benny:I forget what I say most of the time, and I shouldn't be allowed to laugh this hard at things that I've said.

Anzu:This one is pretty good.

Anzu:You both did a really excellent job, actually.

Benny:I really just tried to make him crack with a screaming pig, because what the fuck does that mean?

Benny:And then I remember he didn't, and we had to keep going.

Johnny:I know for a while.

Gamemaster:So yes, you all dressed up to go to a party.

Gamemaster:You're in fancy party clothes.

Gamemaster:You walked into the sewers.

Gamemaster:You wandered around in the sewers for a few hours in your fancy party clothes.

Gamemaster:You did a few stuff.

Gamemaster:You blew up...

Gamemaster:Probably a few buildings.

Gamemaster:And then you started walking back.

Gamemaster:It appears that your explosive did go off, given that a group of people have started walking towards you.

Gamemaster:But if you recall, this hallway took you half an hour to walk down.

Gamemaster:So, there are no obstructions.

Gamemaster:So you start walking down the hallway.

Gamemaster:You're like 10 minutes in.

Gamemaster:You've got 20 minutes left.

Gamemaster:A group of some people starts walking down the hallway from the front.

Benny:Bye.

Gamemaster:And you see them.

Gamemaster:But you've still got like 15 minutes before you actually catch up to them.

Gamemaster:they do not seem to be necessarily in all that much of a rush.

Gamemaster:They're not, like, lazily walking towards you or anything like that, but they're not sprinting, because I think they know how long this hallway is, and they're not about to spend half an hour running at you while you just stand there and wait for them to get to you.

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:So you're in this weird situation where you can see things off in the distance, and you can tell it is, at least from this distance, it looks to be three distinct figures, all of them giving off their own light source and flickering in much a way as fire does.

Gamemaster:But...

Gamemaster:You have a few minutes of time before you guys actually meet up with them.

Gamemaster:So, like, is there anything you wanted to do, or is this kind of just inevitability where you figure you'll get to it when you get to it as you walk closer?

Gamemaster:Like, what's the general game plan here?

Argyle:Well, I'm going to cast some spells once we're getting a little closer, but I'm just going to cast Bless.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Argyle:No, Benediction, Benediction.

Argyle:Did any of you guys have anything you wanted to do?

Johnny:I got a bunch of spells I'll cast when we're getting up in the mix.

Argyle:Hey, Benny, how far can you throw an artillery shell?

Benny:Probably pretty far.

Benny:How heavy is it?

Argyle:How far does Benny... I believe the blast radius I was told was 20 feet.

Argyle:Um...

Benny:I feel like there's Pathfinder rules for this.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I'm looking up what throwing equipment is.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:No?

Gamemaster:Maybe?

Gamemaster:I see somebody on Reddit says that you can throw things up to six range increments, which would be 60 feet.

Gamemaster:But I don't know where this person got that info from.

Anzu:Well, are there like grenades or something that we could use as an approximation?

Gamemaster:They didn't cite their sources.

Benny:But it's heavy.

Gamemaster:So, part of the problem with, like, using it, I can look up a grenade.

Gamemaster:Like, they have bombs.

Gamemaster:The problem is that this is considerably heavier than, like, a handheld bomb, because it's designed to be launched out of a mortar and not from a nine-year-old's arms.

Anzu:Yeah, that's fair.

Johnny:You can throw a club, a hatchet, a javelin.

Anzu:Well, but not your average nine-year-old, to be fair.

Gamemaster:So, like, a nine-year-old with the strength of a human man's arms.

Argyle:He's never said human man.

Argyle:He says grown man.

Benny:That's a good point.

Argyle:Just wanted to clarify that.

Gamemaster:Sorry, you're right.

Gamemaster:With the strength of an adult man's arms.

Argyle:I'm not about to assume that Eddie was talking about an adult human.

Johnny:That's perfect.

Argyle:He said adults.

Anzu:I don't really have any prep, I don't think.

Benny:What if Josh just whips up with Claude Cote a quick time event like Wii Golf, and then I just try to click to get it to land?

Johnny:I gots.

Argyle:I asked Gemini, and it cited the Reddit article.

Johnny:That's really funny.

Argyle:And it says every 10 feet.

Argyle:So the first 10 feet, zero penalty.

Argyle:Then from 11 to 20, minus two.

Argyle:And then just keep adding minus two to 60.

Gamemaster:The problem here is that, like, I'm already letting you get away with walking around with an artillery shell just, like, in a briefcase, because, like, that's already, like, 100 pounds, which is something like 20 bulk.

Argyle:All right, we'll just leave it.

Argyle:It's okay.

Gamemaster:So I don't, I, yeah.

Argyle:We should have stashed it in the hall to blow them up ahead of time, but we didn't think about that.

Gamemaster:You actually did stash it in the hole, and then you picked it back up later.

Argyle:Yeah, but I meant like we should have stashed it like, I don't know, 50% of the way through and then let them walk there and be pow.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:Can Anzu just projectile it?

Gamemaster:Yeah, I, like, unfortunately... Can telekinetic projectile move something of 20 bulk?

Johnny:Is it, can he?

Benny:We get a smaller artillery shell that Benny can then throw at the bigger artillery shell.

Gamemaster:Because that's how much it weighs.

Johnny:I think it's like one or something silly.

Anzu:Oh no, you definitely cannot telekinetic projectile it.

Benny:20 bulk?

Gamemaster:Yeah, it's 100 pounds.

Anzu:Telekinetic projectile is one bulk.

Benny:It weighs as much as three medium creatures.

Gamemaster:It's like 10 to 20 bulk.

Gamemaster:Do I not know how bulk works?

Benny:Just cast it a bunch of times.

Benny:How long did Josh say we had?

Benny:Like 10 minutes?

Benny:Just cast it 20 times.

Johnny:world.

Gamemaster:How much weight is one bulk?

Gamemaster:Yeah, in general, an item that weighs 5 to 10 pounds is one bulk.

Gamemaster:So if it's 100 pounds, it's somewhere from 10 to 20 bulk, which is definitely more than the one bulk that telekinetic projectile is limited to.

Argyle:That's fine.

Argyle:We will not do that.

Argyle:Do you mind changing the map so I have access to my character?

Benny:Damn, they all got fancy-ass names.

Argyle:Yes.

Gamemaster:What do you mean fancy names?

Johnny:So many things to do.

Benny:To die to a nine-year-old?

Benny:To die to a nine-year-old in a sewer?

Benny:I'm Ashton Morgan.

Johnny:Wow, they're all on fire.

Benny:I sure hope...

Benny:I sure hope a 9-11 doesn't remove my – a 9-year-old doesn't remove – I'm thinking of destruction.

Gamemaster:A 9-11?

Argyle:starting to sound like Arctos.

Benny:All right.

Benny:I've got destruction on the mind.

Gamemaster:That's crazy.

Benny:Freudian slip.

Gamemaster:Also, this isn't, like, fully representative, obviously, of what the hallway looks like.

Gamemaster:For whatever reason, I couldn't find a battle map that was long corridor with evenly spaced pillars with blue liquid flowing through them.

Gamemaster:That just didn't exist.

Gamemaster:So instead I just took an image from a video game that has pipes and stuff in it.

Gamemaster:So ignore the TVs on the side.

Gamemaster:That's not there.

Gamemaster:Yeah, so you guys are continuing to walk closer.

Johnny:One world.

Gamemaster:Around what time did you want to start doing things?

Argyle:So how many feet are we moving in a turn right now?

Gamemaster:Like 75-ish, probably, around there.

Argyle:So I'll wait at like 150-ish to start casting.

Johnny:Yeah.

Argyle:Because I know 120, that's when long range spells start happening more.

Gamemaster:Okay, I will say that before you get to that point, if you're waiting until you're pretty close, after about another 10 minutes of walking, can I get a perception check?

Johnny:That was not a perception check, I'm sorry.

Argyle:Oh, that's new.

Johnny:That was for... Oh!

Johnny:That's cool.

Anzu:Whoa.

Johnny:This is an auspicious start.

Benny:What happened?

Johnny:I have a lot of new toys to play with this fight.

Gamemaster:That was very good.

Gamemaster:A dirge of doom?

Johnny:And I would also like to add some... How do I increase Bless's size?

Johnny:I'll sustain Bless just once.

Johnny:I don't know how to do that.

Johnny:And then also perceive.

Argyle:Oh.

Gamemaster:So to increase or decrease the size of Bless, if you see in the top right where it shows all of your buffs and debuffs and stuff...

Gamemaster:If you click on the Bless thing where it says 15 feet, it should increase to 25.

Gamemaster:Let me know if it doesn't do that for whatever reason.

Johnny:I have two blesses.

Johnny:So if I just click, just right.

Gamemaster:You want to click the one that has the 15 feet thing on it.

Gamemaster:It's the Aura Bless, not the Spell Effect Bless, and it should increase its size.

Johnny:Oh, it increased.

Argyle:Yes, I got mine to do that too.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Johnny:Amazing.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:So guys, the smaller circle is a plus one from Bless.

Johnny:The bigger circle, anyone who walks into it who is an enemy is frightened one.

Argyle:Great.

Gamemaster:They don't even, like, make a save for anything.

Gamemaster:They are just frightened.

Johnny:And then at the last moment, I will... Actually, no, I'll hold for now.

Benny:Yes.

Johnny:These are all my things.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:So we had a really good perception check, so you don't get any advance notice.

Gamemaster:Can I have somebody do me a favor and roll a d8?

Benny:How much did we win?

Gamemaster:Okay, can I have everybody make a fortitude save, please?

Johnny:Oh, no.

Johnny:That's my lowest thing.

Argyle:Is this an emotional effect?

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:I don't even know what traits this would have.

Gamemaster:How do I just look up all traits?

Anzu:I got an 8,000.

Johnny:I got a very low number.

Benny:What are the traits?

Gamemaster:Give me a second.

Gamemaster:Nothing that you would have anything that's keyed off of.

Anzu:I believe.

Anzu:Wow.

Argyle:How do you know?

Anzu:Well, that's a convenient hand wave, isn't it, boys?

Gamemaster:I will double check.

Johnny:Yep.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:It has the gravity well and strange gravity traits.

Gamemaster:Do you have anything that keys off of those?

Benny:Benny is heavy.

Johnny:I actually.

Argyle:I think I owe you an apology.

Anzu:Mm hmm.

Gamemaster:Okay, everybody but Johnny succeeded.

Gamemaster:So there is this... Unfortunately, we didn't get a great perception check there, so nobody notices it before it happens.

Gamemaster:So all of you see a flash of blue light almost from behind you, and there is this...

Gamemaster:percussive wave that seems to push forward from behind you.

Gamemaster:Three of you manage to catch yourselves.

Gamemaster:One of you, Johnny, unfortunately falls prone to the ground.

Johnny:Was that our bomb?

Gamemaster:Um...

Gamemaster:No damage or anything like that, but it seems some kind of gravitational wave has been pushed from behind you forward.

Gamemaster:And after a few moments, you see one of the people who's approaching you similarly get pushed backwards and fall down and have to stand up as well as it seems that it travels down this hallway.

Johnny:Did we just collapse something?

Benny:Oh.

Argyle:Or we collapse the fracture.

Johnny:I think we collapsed the fracture.

Benny:Did we collapse or did we open it?

Benny:We probably collapsed it.

Anzu:Or is something monumental making its way through?

Benny:They're probably using this shit to keep it open.

Benny:We'll go with that.

Johnny:Yeah.

Benny:If there is a hand, that'd be terrifying.

Johnny:Oh!

Johnny:The Giant coming?

Johnny:That would be so bad if the Giant who has a gravity well effect and is now coming towards us.

Benny:Let's go with we did something good, and it collapsed the thing.

Benny:And maybe it's creating like a, what is it, a loci?

Benny:Let's go with that.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:It'd be a locust if it were singular.

Johnny:Yes.

Benny:There's bugs.

Gamemaster:I didn't say locust, and you know I didn't say locust.

Gamemaster:Don't do that.

Gamemaster:Illegal.

Johnny:So, Josh, am I prone at the start of this combat?

Gamemaster:No, you're not.

Gamemaster:This is still like five to ten minutes before you actually meet up with them.

Gamemaster:It's just something to note, especially because about a few moments later, it happens again.

Johnny:Good.

Gamemaster:There is another burst of gravitational energy.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:I'm not going to make you all roll again because it's not as impactful as the first time it hits.

Argyle:Throw the bomb, it's lighter.

Gamemaster:This time, however, I will note that as the wall of energy passes through you, it doesn't seem to push you or pull you.

Gamemaster:Instead, you feel your grip with the floor become tenuous.

Gamemaster:As you notice that as you try to walk forward, instead of continuing forward, you start floating in the direction you were moving.

Argyle:Throw the bomb, it's lighter.

Johnny:Now, now.

Gamemaster:You are...

Johnny:Just slowly spins through the air.

Gamemaster:Do you, in the six seconds that you are in zero G in the wake of this wave, do you attempt to throw the bomb?

Johnny:I don't think fire damage is going to kill him.

Benny:No.

Argyle:Do it, you coward.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Gamemaster:I will note, while you are in zero G, you are clumsy.

Johnny:I don't think fire damage is going to kill him.

Gamemaster:One second, what are the effects of zero G?

Gamemaster:There are rules for this.

Gamemaster:You are clumsy, you are flat-footed, and you are untethered.

Gamemaster:What untethered means is that you can't use the move action unless you are physically on a surface, and you can only push off of that surface to move in a direction.

Gamemaster:In addition, so long as you're untethered, at the end of your turn, you will continue to move in the direction that you moved during that turn.

Gamemaster:After a few moments, gravity seems to return and you all slam back down onto the ground.

Gamemaster:But you know that these waves seem to continue coming from further down the hallway.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:So something to look forward to, making it a little difficult as you traverse closer to these people.

Gamemaster:It is interesting.

Gamemaster:After you land, you see further down the hallway, the three of them start to float upwards, equally caught by surprise by this effect, before they also land on the ground and continue their march.

Argyle:Can I look back at the door to see if I see anything where we came from?

Gamemaster:You can attempt to do so.

Argyle:Oh, cool.

Gamemaster:You can roll a perception check.

Gamemaster:You have walked a considerable amount at this point.

Gamemaster:But you can certainly look back and see if you can see anything.

Gamemaster:With a 17.

Gamemaster:Oh, you shouldn't be sickened anymore.

Gamemaster:Who else is sickened?

Gamemaster:It's just you.

Gamemaster:You're far enough away from the actual sewers at this point, you're not sickened.

Gamemaster:With an 18.

Gamemaster:Like, looking back, you can't see the fracture in the distance, but you wouldn't expect to be able to unless it's fully opened.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:Mostly just double checking there wasn't like the hand from Super Smash Bros.

Argyle:after us.

Gamemaster:Yeah, no, there is no master hand or crazy hand making their way into your world from beyond.

Gamemaster:What I will note, even with an 18, is you see flashes of blue light in the pillars kind of further beyond, like down the hallway, close to where you imagine the fracture to be.

Gamemaster:From this distance, you can't really see what's necessarily happening there, but it is something that wasn't happening while you were present.

Argyle:Oh no.

Argyle:I wonder if it was extracting energy from that thing and now it's destroyed so all the systems are... Anyway.

Gamemaster:Regardless.

Argyle:Sounds like someone else's problem.

Anzu:I don't think it's anything to be worried about.

Benny:Not for at least the next 30 seconds.

Johnny:We have no problems.

Gamemaster:We will move forward at least.

Gamemaster:And you said you wanted to do things when you were 125 feet away.

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, this map is not 125 feet long.

Argyle:Yes.

Gamemaster:So we're just going to have to imagine for the first bit of walking.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:So were there things that you wanted to do?

Argyle:Once I was 120, that's when that hits.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Argyle:And I cast Benediction already, so I up that.

Gamemaster:I will note that the moment that you get... Like, 125 feet away... Actually, you know what?

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:I'm going to roll a perception check for this person.

Gamemaster:Give me a moment.

Gamemaster:A 30.

Gamemaster:So they... You guys aren't trying to be sneaky about the fact that you're casting spells, are you?

Anzu:Nah.

Johnny:Uh, no.

Argyle:We're just going to try to fight him, right?

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:So, 125 feet away, seeing you casting spells, the large creature of the three in the back will launch a fireball at the four of you, seeing that it is time for the hostilities.

Benny:It's a lot of feet.

Gamemaster:Uh, so what's gonna happen is I'm gonna cast the spell, you guys got your buffs and stuff off, and then, um, we're gonna, we're just gonna, we're gonna start.

Gamemaster:Let me see, do I have a way?

Anzu:Fireball's got range.

Johnny:What?

Gamemaster:Fireball has a 500 foot range.

Anzu:That's too many.

Gamemaster:Um, I'm sorry.

Anzu:That's not the kind of magic I deal in.

Gamemaster:I don't make the rules, I just enforce them.

Argyle:Why don't you have that, Anzu?

Argyle:Aren't you a magic guy, Anzu?

Gamemaster:What happens if I...

Argyle:Why don't you have Fireball?

Anzu:I can fly briefly.

Argyle:Can you fly with magic?

Argyle:What kind of magic guy are you?

Benny:jumping?

Anzu:It's a little more than jumping.

Argyle:We've been through this in all of our campaigns.

Benny:He made us small.

Benny:He made us mini.

Argyle:Magic guys need to be able to cast...

Benny:No!

Gamemaster:I doubled the size of the map.

Argyle:Oh.

Benny:He shrunk us.

Anzu:Holy!

Benny:Now the hand is going to be really big.

Gamemaster:So now you guys can be 125 feet away and it's fine.

Benny:I shrunk the players.

Johnny:Wow.

Argyle:GM, I shrunk the kits.

Gamemaster:One second.

Johnny:Oh, right.

Johnny:We had a save against this.

Johnny:I forgot.

Gamemaster:Yeah, so you guys make that reflex save.

Gamemaster:I can still get all of you.

Benny:Hi, I'm Mason Riley.

Gamemaster:Okay, so we have a failure from Benny.

Gamemaster:We have a success from Argyle.

Gamemaster:We have a critical failure from Johnny, but he is going to eat fire to try and make it resistant.

Anzu:Oh, I did the... Wait, okay.

Gamemaster:And a failure from Anzu.

Gamemaster:You know the rules for Fireball.

Gamemaster:This is a basic save.

Gamemaster:Anzu can also eat fire?

Gamemaster:Why can't half of your party eat fire?

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's fair.

Johnny:Because the first thing you ever threw at us.

Anzu:Because we're fighting the fire people!

Anzu:They've been our main nemesis the whole campaign.

Gamemaster:That's acceptable.

Gamemaster:That's totally allowed.

Gamemaster:It's just rude.

Gamemaster:Okay, so Johnny and Anzu should both have the eat fire spell effect.

Anzu:Oh, I drag for me.

Benny:No, no, no, no.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:And then I will roll the end.

Johnny:We got to get close, guys.

Johnny:They're throwing fireballs.

Gamemaster:25 points of fire damage.

Johnny:uh looks like crit help

Gamemaster:Unfortunate.

Gamemaster:And we're going to roll initiative as we start combat.

Gamemaster:A little further away than I would have normally expected it to happen, but that's fine.

Anzu:Oh, do we not get our 120s that we launched?

Gamemaster:Um, oh, you can do your 120s that you launched.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you were doing other stuff.

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Uh, we can, we can resolve those.

Gamemaster:Oh, the frostbite and the needle darts, absolutely.

Gamemaster:So, who are those?

Johnny:My email is not far enough, so I will take that back and instead heal myself.

Gamemaster:Oh, okay.

Gamemaster:Oh, and frostbite is also 60 feet.

Gamemaster:And never mind, you have a parallel breakthrough.

Argyle:I cast Moonlight Ray, but that's only 120.

Argyle:I was trying to wait until 125.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Yeah, well, you waited until 125, and so when you started casting, yeah, we can, we can, one second.

Argyle:Sorry, 120.

Gamemaster:Watch that.

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Like magic, you are now 120 feet.

Argyle:Thank you!

Gamemaster:If they can launch a fireball at you from a distance, you can launch a moonlight ray at a distance.

Argyle:Yes.

Argyle:All right.

Anzu:All right, Josh, Arthur Morgan can make this fortitude save for the frostbite.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:Not Arthur Morgan.

Gamemaster:You know it.

Gamemaster:I haven't played that game, but I know the main character.

Gamemaster:That's a critical success.

Anzu:All right.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Anzu:I'm going to roll initiative.

Argyle:All right.

Argyle:The other guy's going to take that.

Argyle:Damn it.

Argyle:The big guy's going to take that one.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Gamemaster:Oh, the big guy.

Gamemaster:You're aiming for Mr. Mason.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:One second.

Johnny:Do we want to get right up on them?

Argyle:No, no, no, no.

Argyle:Yes.

Anzu:Oh, I see what you're thinking about.

Anzu:Some Skittle action.

Benny:Uh, yeah.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:Yes.

Argyle:Are we sure?

Argyle:Has this ever worked well for us?

Johnny:Yeah, in the ooze fight.

Argyle:Okay, okay.

Argyle:Sorry.

Argyle:So the first... Three times.

Gamemaster:It's been used twice.

Gamemaster:Once it almost caused a TPK.

Argyle:Well, once it... But the 12-in-1 was a little scary because then we got jumped.

Gamemaster:Oh, you're right.

Gamemaster:It's been used three times.

Gamemaster:Once it almost caused a TPK, once it helped you kill Tywelwyn, and then once it helped you kill some oozes.

Gamemaster:That's two for three.

Gamemaster:That's not bad.

Argyle:So it was very scary for a moment there.

Gamemaster:But you did win.

Argyle:That's true.

Johnny:I'm just saying the waste of higher turns getting up on them.

Benny:12.

Gamemaster:I think you should use it.

Johnny:Oh, this guy rolled a big number.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:We will start combat.

Argyle:Well, if you're doing that, I'm going to keep my initiative order.

Gamemaster:It is Mason's turn.

Gamemaster:What?

Argyle:To know.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:What's this guy going to do?

Gamemaster:I mean, they still have to kind of get closer to you to do much stuff because it's not like they're made of fireballs.

Gamemaster:I think what they're going to start with is a heal.

Johnny:Yeah, run up to us.

Johnny:Run directly up to us.

Gamemaster:Yeah, they're just going to do a three action heal.

Argyle:Cowards.

Gamemaster:What do you mean cowards?

Gamemaster:I'm going to call you a coward anytime you heal from now on.

Benny:Oh, healing, OK.

Benny:I didn't realize we were healing.

Gamemaster:That was two actions, and then the third action is to move just a little bit closer to you.

Johnny:All.

Gamemaster:Antun, it's your turn.

Anzu:Sorry, I was distracted.

Anzu:I was trying to see if Mason Riley was one of the old project leads, but it doesn't look like it.

Gamemaster:None of these names are names that are familiar to you.

Anzu:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Just to...

Anzu:I'm pretty far away.

Argyle:You could defer till dawn or Johnny.

Anzu:No, well, I'll send another frostbite for now.

Anzu:I'm still going to go for the one in the back, Ashton.

Anzu:But we'll amp this one.

Gamemaster:You're going for Ashton again?

Anzu:So Ashton can make this fort save.

Anzu:I'll deal half damage in that case.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:They succeeded.

Johnny:Okay.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:He actually takes 13.

Anzu:And I will...

Anzu:So he takes what?

Anzu:Eight?

Anzu:Right?

Anzu:Whoa.

Gamemaster:It appears that your cold damage has dealt some increased damage.

Anzu:All right.

Argyle:Mm-hmm.

Anzu:Then I will get six temporary hit points.

Johnny:Ooh.

Anzu:As I...

Anzu:take in the thermal energy that I've stolen from him and use it to bolster my resolve.

Anzu:I have two more actions.

Benny:you

Anzu:I guess... Can I recall knowledge from here?

Gamemaster:Yeah, you can see them.

Gamemaster:They're within sight.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:I will do it on Mason because he's a little... Mason is larger visually, right?

Gamemaster:Mason is physically larger, yes.

Gamemaster:Can I get either an Arcana or a Society Recall Knowledge check, then?

Anzu:Arcana, yes, indeed.

Gamemaster:A24 is a success here.

Gamemaster:So you get to learn one of highest or lowest save slash AC, resistances and immunities, movement speed, what you want.

Anzu:Yeah, we'll take those.

Anzu:The resistance immunity... Does vulnerability go in that as well?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:It's resistances, weaknesses, immunities.

Anzu:Oh, weaknesses, right.

Gamemaster:So it is immune to fire damage and to the paralyzed and sleep conditions, and it is weak to cold and to water.

Argyle:Oh, good thing Argyle uses a water axe.

Anzu:I share this...

Gamemaster:What?

Argyle:I use a water axe.

Gamemaster:It's not a thing.

Benny:Good thing Benny drinks water.

Gamemaster:I refuse... That...

Gamemaster:Is that a thing?

Gamemaster:Does Benny drink water?

Gamemaster:I know Benny drinks milk.

Benny:Benny's drank water probably.

Johnny:uh yeah it might not hurt trying to get trying to close a little bit

Gamemaster:Anything else on Zoom?

Anzu:Yeah, I think I'm going to cast Shield, even though it's probably not going to do much for me.

Anzu:But I don't really have anything else to do at the moment.

Gamemaster:Totally allowed.

Anzu:Unless, should I be running forward?

Gamemaster:Well, you do that then.

Anzu:Should I be striding?

Anzu:Because I could do more stuff if I'm closer.

Anzu:I will stride.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:Do I have 25?

Benny:Thank you.

Johnny:Yeah, I will.

Anzu:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Strides.

Gamemaster:Johnny, it's your turn.

Johnny:First action.

Johnny:First action step right here.

Johnny:So I'm between these two.

Johnny:And then I will just yell, taste the rainbow.

Johnny:I will cast Rainbow's End.

Argyle:Hmm.

Gamemaster:60 feet.

Johnny:I don't think I will actually end up getting anyone in this, but it's 60 feet from me, which is... Okay, so it's like range.

Johnny:So I will... Does the center have to be at 60 feet?

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:Yes, the center can be at most 60 feet away from you.

Johnny:It's basically right on top of this machine.

Benny:Thank you.

Johnny:So you guys can appear anywhere in this little thing.

Gamemaster:Give me a second.

Johnny:Third action, I will... Josh, would you allow me to intimidate at range using the message cantrip?

Anzu:Thanks.

Gamemaster:When you say intimidate, you mean demoralize?

Johnny:Yes.

Gamemaster:Demoralize.

Gamemaster:Attempted intimidation check.

Gamemaster:I will allow it, but it'll be two actions instead of... Well, actually, wait.

Gamemaster:How many actions is the message spelled?

Johnny:Oh, I already Flourish Cast, so I... I can't do that.

Gamemaster:Yeah, so it'll be two actions, but you can do it.

Gamemaster:You can...

Gamemaster:You can still do it.

Gamemaster:It's like one action for message and then the second action for demoralize.

Gamemaster:So, like, you have the actions to do it.

Johnny:No, I moved.

Johnny:I only have one action left.

Gamemaster:I'm just... Oh, you snapped.

Argyle:He stepped.

Gamemaster:Okay, then yes, correct.

Gamemaster:You can't do it.

Johnny:I will create a diversion using performance on my young ward, Benjamin, against Mason Riley.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:Yes.

Johnny:Nope, that's not my character.

Johnny:Where is anything I do?

Johnny:Oh, gosh.

Johnny:Where is any of my stuff?

Gamemaster:Gone.

Johnny:Here it is.

Johnny:Uh, I will, I'm just, I'm yelling out poetry, but it's very far away.

Johnny:So they're having a hard time hearing it and they're just trying to, they're trying to listen.

Johnny:The good news is I got to hear it.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:I'm so sorry.

Johnny:It's okay.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:You don't divert the attention of any creatures whose perception DC exceeds your results, and those creatures are aware you were trying to trick them.

Johnny:Oh no.

Gamemaster:I don't know if that makes much difference meaningfully, but they know now.

Johnny:Well, I got a hero points, that's my turn.

Benny:Yeah, I mean, I'll interact to appear here.

Gamemaster:All right.

Anzu:Great.

Anzu:Now they're probably going to be hostile.

Gamemaster:That brings us to Benny.

Benny:But Argyle goes next.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:You can do it until after our go.

Benny:Let me think.

Benny:Yeah, I think I probably... Well, I want to be in doing attacks in these auras.

Argyle:Wait, why?

Argyle:My aura is for defense.

Benny:So if I just... Well, both still.

Benny:I want to walk up and just start hammering because then I'm just going to get focused by all three before there's auras.

Argyle:But if you do get focused, you know my first action is going to be a two-cast heal.

Benny:That's true.

Benny:Let's see.

Benny:Let's see if many...

Benny:If I get the promise of healing, Benny will run in.

Benny:So that's one interact.

Johnny:It's a sword, sword, sword.

Benny:We have Mason Riley here.

Benny:I have to stride to get to Mason Riley.

Argyle:I can't wait for Benny to have, like, a 30-foot reach somehow.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:He's just going to have, like, three swords duct-taped together, and he's going to be like, Josh, it's a sword!

Argyle:A sword plus a sword's a sword, Josh!

Johnny:It's an advanced weapon.

Johnny:I have a feat for it.

Benny:I guess I will just walk up and turn on the heat.

Gamemaster:I don't know what that means in this context.

Gamemaster:Oh, you're attacking them.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:That's a hit.

Benny:Just a hit.

Benny:16 points of damage.

Gamemaster:Just a hit.

Gamemaster:16 points of damage.

Benny:Uh, actually, wait one sec.

Argyle:We should kill Robin Olsen first so that they don't have any actions in between us.

Benny:Yeah, no, we're good.

Johnny:Okay, we should take off little guys.

Benny:I just want to make sure I didn't have one of those fighter run and then attack things that I could have used for my stride.

Benny:I do not.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:1st.

Gamemaster:That's the end of your turn then, Benny.

Benny:Yep.

Gamemaster:It is Robin Olson's turn.

Gamemaster:Robin is going to probably move.

Gamemaster:It's going to move there.

Gamemaster:And then it's going to attack Benny because Benny's here.

Gamemaster:It was one action to move.

Gamemaster:It's the second action to make a tendril attack which has a reach of 10 feet.

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Gamemaster:The flame tendril makes contact and deals 12 points of damage as well as 2d4 persistent fire damage.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:And then I need you... Oh, wait, no, I can't use this because there are no creatures adjacent to you.

Gamemaster:So I guess I'll follow up with a fire mode.

Gamemaster:I rolled very well.

Gamemaster:That's going to hit.

Gamemaster:Oh, I didn't target you, but that does hit.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Benny:Yes.

Gamemaster:Rookie mistake.

Gamemaster:You're going to take another 10 points of fire damage.

Gamemaster:And then it's its turn.

Gamemaster:Spark out.

Gamemaster:It's your turn.

Argyle:Our guy was going to activate that thing.

Argyle:And come right here.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Argyle:And he will cast this spell onto Benny.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:This is some pretty nice.

Argyle:It's called Power Word Kill.

Anzu:Hell yeah.

Gamemaster:That's really cool.

Johnny:Nice.

Benny:Benny can't hear.

Argyle:Roll heal.

Gamemaster:It's cool that Argyle has Power Word Kill in his backstory, but unfortunately Benny is specifically immune to Power Word Kill from his backstory, so it kind of just evens out.

Argyle:Yeah, because he's not alive.

Johnny:That's such a crazy deal.

Argyle:All right, there's your healing.

Benny:Very nice.

Gamemaster:That's a very good heal.

Argyle:Yes.

Benny:One point away from Max.

Johnny:wow where do you get the plus 24 beast that's crazy that's amazing

Gamemaster:Nice.

Argyle:Yeah, yeah.

Argyle:Well, I have a feat that gives me D10s for it, and then I get a plus 24 just base.

Gamemaster:3d10 plus 24 is crazy.

Argyle:Yeah, yeah.

Argyle:And then I get a... Next level, I'm going to get four?

Argyle:And then it'll be plus 32, and I get, right now, five heals a day.

Argyle:Anyway.

Gamemaster:Nice.

Gamemaster:Clerics.

Argyle:Yeah, yeah, good for something.

Gamemaster:Good at healing.

Benny:Benny is going to stick in their grill then.

Argyle:Yeah, yeah, do that.

Gamemaster:You have one more action.

Gamemaster:What you doing?

Argyle:Yeah, yeah.

Argyle:I'm going to... Sorry.

Argyle:Let me grab this thing in the inventory.

Gamemaster:Hold.

Gamemaster:Forfeit.

Argyle:No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Argyle:I'll just ready my shield, actually.

Gamemaster:Use Godspeed and run away.

Argyle:I'll just ready my shield.

Gamemaster:Now that works too.

Benny:Josh is just giving the worst advice.

Gamemaster:It's Ashton's turn!

Gamemaster:Um... Can Ashton... I think Ashton has to walk.

Gamemaster:Ashton has one spell, and it's Detect Magic.

Johnny:Boo.

Argyle:Well, they could detect it.

Gamemaster:And I don't think that's useful here.

Gamemaster:Ashton has detected magic.

Benny:What has Ashton found?

Johnny:Is there magic?

Benny:Boss, they're magic!

Benny:Ashton, what does the scouter say the detect magic level is?

Johnny:There's a rainbow falling out of the ceiling.

Gamemaster:Ashton is going to... Ashton has a very fast movement speed.

Argyle:You should have came on the rainbow.

Gamemaster:This is mean but kind of funny.

Gamemaster:Ashton's going to start flying and is going to fly 80 feet because its fly speed is 80 feet.

Johnny:No!

Johnny:Are you serious?

Gamemaster:Its fly speed is 80 feet.

Johnny:He's bringing the fight to us!

Gamemaster:So that's one action.

Benny:They're diving the back line.

Gamemaster:And then it's going to use its exploding red breath attack, which has the arcane and fire traits.

Benny:That's such a convenient thing to have.

Johnny:Anzu, get to the rainbow!

Anzu:you

Benny:Exploding red breath.

Gamemaster:That'll go right there.

Gamemaster:So I need the two of you to attempt this reflex save.

Johnny:Oh my gosh, how big is this?

Benny:We're going to play the game of who can dive the back line quicker.

Benny:Who can nuke the back line quicker.

Gamemaster:That is what's happened here, yes.

Benny:Alright, alright, alright.

Argyle:Benny, as long as you can kill them in five turns, I think I can keep you alive.

Argyle:And we can go up to six if I use Doctor's Visitation.

Gamemaster:Oh, poor Othello.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Okay, so Anzu succeeds, so you'll take half damage.

Gamemaster:Chani and Othello will take the full damage here.

Johnny:Wait, is this fire?

Gamemaster:This is fire.

Gamemaster:It has the fire and arcane traits.

Johnny:I eat fire.

Johnny:Ow!

Anzu:I'm going to eat fire as well.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Gamemaster:Right?

Gamemaster:Because you both can do that.

Gamemaster:Eat your fire and then take either the full or half damage.

Johnny:I'm bloodied.

Gamemaster:And then Johnny failed to save, right?

Johnny:Yeah.

Anzu:Othello bursts into flames and explodes.

Gamemaster:So you...

Johnny:Oh no.

Gamemaster:Oh, poor Othello.

Anzu:And Anzu goes, Othello, no!

Anzu:My god!

Anzu:Holy shit!

Argyle:Does it smell like KFC?

Benny:Benny will say, I don't think that's a phoenix.

Gamemaster:You can't ask that!

Anzu:This guy just killed my effing bird!

Johnny:No.

Gamemaster:Poor Othello.

Gamemaster:Johnny, can you take this persistent fire damage, please, because you failed?

Argyle:Oh, Leo.

Johnny:Yeah, it doesn't let me know what it is.

Johnny:Oh, I'm on fire.

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:Well, you have some persistent fire damage now.

Gamemaster:You're on fire.

Gamemaster:You're taking... It's d6 minus 2 fire damage.

Anzu:Oh, so you could get healed.

Johnny:Oh, I took no damage because I'm eating fire right now.

Gamemaster:It's Mason's turn.

Gamemaster:Oh, wait, sorry.

Gamemaster:I lied.

Gamemaster:We're at the top of the initiative order.

Gamemaster:Who wants to roll a d8 for me?

Benny:Me, me, me, me.

Benny:One.

Gamemaster:That's a one.

Gamemaster:Everybody gets to make a fortitude save.

Benny:Gets two?

Benny:Hell yeah.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:I don't have an easy way of putting the prompt in the chat.

Gamemaster:I know there is a way to do it.

Gamemaster:I just don't know it.

Johnny:Now I roll well.

Johnny:Who rolled a 20?

Gamemaster:Ooh.

Benny:No fucking abrupt scares the shit out of me.

Benny:I've never had it.

Johnny:And then he dies and then he gets knocked over.

Johnny:Oh, the Japanese one?

Argyle:Why is white sweet potato the best sweet potato?

Johnny:It's so good.

Gamemaster:I don't know if I've ever had that kind of sweet potato.

Argyle:It's like the best one.

Argyle:I just had it.

Benny:I haven't either.

Argyle:It's so much better than the yellow ones and so much better than the purple ones.

Johnny:In Japan, they sell them as just like a treat on the street.

Johnny:They're just like vendors selling them because they're so good.

Johnny:Just loose potatoes.

Benny:Street trees.

Gamemaster:It's fun.

Argyle:I messed up.

Argyle:I didn't expect it to be this good.

Argyle:And I also gave some to Leo because I was like, oh, they can eat sweet potatoes.

Argyle:And now he's like fiending for it.

Johnny:Really good.

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, Anzu, you are the only one that failed.

Gamemaster:So you are knocked prone.

Gamemaster:And now it's Mason's turn.

Anzu:Is there a lingering fire up here, or is that just from the spell?

Gamemaster:What is Mason going to do?

Gamemaster:Oh, that was just from the spell.

Gamemaster:One second.

Gamemaster:It is gone.

Gamemaster:Mason is going to, as its first action, cast Shield.

Johnny:Come on.

Benny:Cast?

Argyle:Howard again.

Argyle:That's it, buddy.

Benny:Cast?

Gamemaster:Yeah, cast.

Benny:I didn't realize there were a cast in here.

Gamemaster:He shot a fireball at you.

Gamemaster:That hits.

Gamemaster:19 points of damage.

Johnny:Yeah.

Benny:Yes.

Benny:Damage the man.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:Damage the man, Benny.

Gamemaster:Damaged it.

Gamemaster:And then the effective shield takes place.

Gamemaster:And it's going to use its second action to kind of step away from you.

Johnny:That's a step?

Benny:i still got a hit uh fort fort fort fort divine manipulate

Gamemaster:No, it's a stride.

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:It's striding.

Gamemaster:It baited Benny's attack of opportunity.

Gamemaster:And now it's going to cast a spell on Benny.

Gamemaster:Yeah, but it didn't want you stopping it from moving.

Gamemaster:And then it's going to enfeeble you or attempt to do so.

Gamemaster:Yes, make that fort save, please.

Gamemaster:Oh, I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:First I have to attempt a ranged spell attack against you.

Gamemaster:So we'll see.

Gamemaster:It's possible that that Fortitude save is unnecessary.

Benny:Oh, because the crit reduces my success.

Gamemaster:Oh, never mind.

Gamemaster:I critically hit you.

Gamemaster:So you are enfeebled three.

Johnny:Ooh.

Gamemaster:Well, you're failure.

Benny:Well, I mean, it's close to a success, so it becomes a critical failure.

Gamemaster:You rolled a failure, and then that gets knocked down to a critical failure.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:However you want to rationalize it.

Gamemaster:So you're enfeebled.

Gamemaster:That's the end of its turn.

Gamemaster:Anzu, it's your turn.

Gamemaster:You're prone.

Anzu:Indeed.

Anzu:This was just such an unfortunate last turn of events.

Anzu:As a side request, are you able to dismiss my one-shot characters from my active set?

Gamemaster:Yeah, I'm sorry.

Anzu:Because I keep have to clicking around and reselecting Anzu.

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Oh.

Anzu:I don't know.

Gamemaster:Um... I'm not even sure how it's doing that, but I can... Is that affecting other people as well?

Anzu:If that's annoying, then don't worry about it.

Anzu:Okay, just leave it.

Argyle:why I never yeah yeah that's why I never click them though because I'm always just you know how like I accidentally don't click people that's why

Gamemaster:Oh.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:Well, I mean, that's fine.

Gamemaster:I can...

Gamemaster:One second.

Gamemaster:While you're working on it, I will remove that.

Anzu:I'll send another amped frostbite here at Ashton Morgan, who just killed my bird.

Anzu:Oh, wait, first... I unleash Psyche and, uh...

Johnny:you

Anzu:I stand up with an action, but I do it as my psyche unleashes, and I kind of, like, instead of standing up, I kind of float up with my hands out, and then I, like, reach at this guy, and, like, an icy mist kind of comes out from my eyes and my hands as I do this frostbite at him.

Gamemaster:Anzu is on the warpath.

Anzu:And I have stood.

Anzu:Please let me know what the total is.

Benny:you you

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Let's make a fort save.

Johnny:This guy's standing up.

Gamemaster:That is a success.

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Gamemaster:These guys are pretty good at fort saves.

Gamemaster:He takes half damage.

Gamemaster:Increased because it's cold.

Gamemaster:16 damage.

Anzu:All right, I'll take eight temporary hit points.

Gamemaster:And I should have removed the other characters.

Gamemaster:So let me know if you're still seeing that issue.

Anzu:Amazing.

Johnny:Top of my turn, I will sustain the rainbow so I can use it.

Anzu:With my final action, I will calculate threats.

Gamemaster:He's calculating threats.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Then we will move on to Johnny.

Gamemaster:Johnny, you're on fire.

Johnny:And then I will move, I think, if I go right here, that should be good.

Benny:you

Johnny:Is he frightened?

Johnny:Yeah.

Johnny:Is Ashton Morgan frightened?

Johnny:Dang.

Johnny:Ashton Morgan, aren't they in the thing?

Johnny:That's a bummer.

Gamemaster:Okay, so I actually, I do have a point of order.

Gamemaster:I'm going to let you do it for this round, because this is how we've done it in the past, but I don't actually think Rainbow's End allows you to teleport into the rainbow.

Johnny:Oh.

Argyle:Oh.

Gamemaster:Because it says an ally who is adjacent to you can interact and be teleported to an unoccupied space in the spells area.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:It's fine for this round, that's how we've been playing it, but I am mentioning it for moving forward.

Johnny:Oh, okay.

Johnny:Cool.

Johnny:That is good to know.

Johnny:One other question.

Johnny:Is Ashton Morgan not in the Dirge of Doom?

Gamemaster:Uh, no.

Gamemaster:It's one square out.

Johnny:Huh.

Gamemaster:If I move it, now it's in the Church of Doom.

Gamemaster:Over here, it's not.

Johnny:Interesting.

Johnny:Okay, that's fine.

Johnny:Stop.

Gamemaster:Sorry, I was just checking the distances there.

Johnny:Oh, okay.

Gamemaster:Yeah, no, it is one step out, unfortunately.

Johnny:Okay, that's no worries.

Johnny:One action, do that.

Johnny:Second action... I'll focus fire on Robin Olsen.

Johnny:They haven't done much.

Johnny:I will just...

Johnny:I'll bone mow them.

Gamemaster:It's bone mowing.

Johnny:I'll just say, you're going to die down here.

Johnny:Giant's going to step on you.

Johnny:That's what I got.

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Roll a diplomacy check.

Gamemaster:And sorry, which of the three are you bone mowing?

Johnny:Robin Olsen.

Johnny:24.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Roll a diplomacy check against their will DC.

Johnny:It's a success.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:So they are bone mode, and they take a little bit of damage.

Johnny:Where is this one?

Johnny:Cutting rebuke.

Johnny:Mental damage.

Johnny:They take six points of mental damage.

Gamemaster:So they take six points of mental damage.

Johnny:And for my third action, I will... I will cast Soothe at second level on myself.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:And that's my turn.

Johnny:I'm going to preemptively eat fire.

Gamemaster:All right.

Gamemaster:Benny, it is your turn.

Benny:Benny will...

Gamemaster:Oh wait, sorry, before it's Benny's turn, Johnny's on fire.

Gamemaster:Johnny's going to take one point of fire damage, and then may attempt a recovery check.

Johnny:I feel like this is going to be useful for the rest of this round.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Johnny:I have nothing else to do with my reactions.

Johnny:I feel like this will be useful.

Gamemaster:Yeah, no, it definitely seems like it would be useful.

Gamemaster:So you take no damage, and you can attempt a recovery check.

Argyle:Johnny's metagaming.

Johnny:I'm getting... Everyone is attacking me with fire.

Johnny:That doesn't pass.

Argyle:Johnny's getting attacked by three guys in fire with fire and he's like, metagame.

Johnny:I push my sunglasses up and look down and they do that anime thing where they're like... You can't see my eyes through my sunglasses.

Benny:Bye.

Gamemaster:You are still on fire, unfortunately, but you are immune to the damage that this fire could inflict on you, so it doesn't really matter.

Argyle:That was a great shoot.

Gamemaster:Vicious.

Johnny:While I'm on fire, I just look down and go, shing, and say, while you studied the flame, I studied the poem.

Johnny:On fire.

Gamemaster:Benny, it's your turn now.

Benny:Benny will point his falcata at Mason Riley and say, you may have made me weak, but your friend is still afraid.

Gamemaster:Oh, gosh.

Argyle:you

Benny:And then step to Robin Olson.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:He steps to Robin Olsen.

Benny:I'm sure Robin Olson is thrilled that Mason Riley has walked away.

Gamemaster:Oh, no.

Gamemaster:Robin Olsen is not thrilled about that.

Benny:I don't think Robin Olson has a choice.

Gamemaster:A 27 hits.

Benny:6-7.

Benny:No, it was 6-7.

Gamemaster:You know what?

Anzu:Like, not even.

Gamemaster:Never mind.

Gamemaster:A dozen hit.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:You just saw the number six and you went for it.

Anzu:Yes.

Benny:On the rolls for the D8.

Anzu:Oh, the two die?

Gamemaster:Oh, okay.

Argyle:They die.

Benny:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Anzu:Alright.

Gamemaster:I see.

Gamemaster:On the dice.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Gotcha.

Gamemaster:It's still bad.

Gamemaster:It's just slightly more excusable.

Gamemaster:Not a whole lot more excusable, but slightly more.

Gamemaster:It takes 16 points of damage.

Benny:Nice.

Benny:More.

Anzu:That triggered me because Liz's sister will hear six and go, six or seven?

Anzu:And I'm like, you need to stop.

Anzu:I don't care that you're 15.

Anzu:You need to stop.

Benny:Benny gets to try out his new offhand.

Gamemaster:Somehow... Somehow with Enfeebled 3, you still crit.

Gamemaster:Yeah, go for it.

Benny:And not even on a 20.

Gamemaster:Go for it.

Benny:Benny...

Benny:Wait, hold on.

Benny:Is this?

Benny:Oh, yeah, OK.

Benny:It's just deadly d8.

Benny:It's not fatal.

Gamemaster:Okay, it is off-guard and takes 18 points of damage.

Gamemaster:They are injured, but they are still standing.

Benny:Yes.

Benny:And that is the turn.

Gamemaster:Anything else?

Anzu:It's off guard now.

Gamemaster:Then it's... It is off guard.

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:It is... Oh, sorry.

Gamemaster:Benny is also on fire.

Gamemaster:Benny, you take three points of fire damage.

Gamemaster:You may attempt a recovery check.

Gamemaster:You don't have to attempt to recover if you don't want to.

Benny:Sure.

Gamemaster:You could just stay on fire for order points.

Gamemaster:Never mind.

Gamemaster:You crit.

Gamemaster:You are no longer on fire.

Benny:That's oral points.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's fine.

Johnny:well you

Gamemaster:It's Robin's turn.

Gamemaster:Robin's gonna attack you with the tendril.

Gamemaster:Because it's only polite.

Argyle:Josh loves the tentacles, huh?

Benny:They provide.

Gamemaster:This is a tendril, and I did not make the stat block, excuse you.

Gamemaster:It's a thing made out of fire!

Benny:I actually wasn't.

Argyle:You're always finding the tentacles.

Gamemaster:What attack do you think the fire monster is going to make?

Johnny:sword oh god he's fired up

Gamemaster:Okay?

Gamemaster:It hits.

Gamemaster:It does damage.

Gamemaster:You take 15 points of fire damage.

Gamemaster:And you're already on fire, so that doesn't really matter much.

Gamemaster:Oh, sorry, you weren't on fire.

Gamemaster:You're on fire again.

Gamemaster:You're re-fired.

Benny:Yeah, refires.

Gamemaster:He's going to follow that up with another one.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:Well, it's not particularly fun.

Gamemaster:How does he get rid of Bonmo?

Gamemaster:He can do something to get rid of Bonmo, right?

Johnny:I think you can take an action to... It does have the concentrate trait in case that triggers Benny.

Gamemaster:If he says nuh-uh.

Gamemaster:Target can end the effect early with a retort.

Gamemaster:This can either be a single action as a concentrate trait or an appropriate skill action to frame the retort.

Gamemaster:We're not talking about thaumaturges.

Gamemaster:He can concentrate all he likes.

Gamemaster:Part of the issue here is this guy is just made out of fire now, and so it's not like he's particularly good at the talking things.

Gamemaster:I'm going to try it, because it's better than the whatever.

Gamemaster:So we're just going to make... What's this guy's diplomacy modifier?

Johnny:Can I have to be my diplomacy DC?

Gamemaster:I think it is.

Gamemaster:Isn't it?

Johnny:No, I thought it was just like a free thing.

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:Oh, he just makes a whatever.

Gamemaster:So it's going to be the DC of your level.

Gamemaster:Or of his level.

Gamemaster:No, I'll make it of your level.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Gamemaster:I can't even... This guy doesn't have diplomacy.

Gamemaster:What happened?

Gamemaster:Arcana, Athletics, Crafting, Deception.

Gamemaster:Oh, Diplomacy.

Gamemaster:I just can't spell.

Gamemaster:He's a minus one.

Gamemaster:We're trying it.

Anzu:you

Gamemaster:His retort is particularly poor.

Johnny:It just kind of crackles.

Gamemaster:So he's still Bond mode.

Gamemaster:It's Argyle's turn.

Argyle:Alright.

Argyle:Argyle is going to see that the young child he's with is looking a little sick.

Argyle:So he's going to rub his hands together.

Gamemaster:In the head, maybe.

Argyle:Yes.

Argyle:And he's going to go, now is the time.

Argyle:I think he's wounded.

Argyle:We can take out the demon child.

Argyle:The child that doesn't like me.

Argyle:I can take him out.

Argyle:But instead he will cast a spell magic to

Argyle:Counteract the enfeeblement spell.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that works.

Gamemaster:Make a counteract check.

Argyle:Which just succeeds, I believe.

Argyle:Because it's a level... Because it was level 1.

Gamemaster:What was level one?

Argyle:The enfeeble?

Gamemaster:Oh, it was level one.

Gamemaster:I don't think... I have to read the rules for counteract every time it comes up.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Let me see.

Gamemaster:You unravel attempt to counteract check against the target.

Gamemaster:If you successfully counteract, if it comes... No, I think you still have to make a counteract check.

Argyle:Oh, OK.

Gamemaster:Yeah, so make the counteract check.

Johnny:Woo, he's back.

Gamemaster:It's just pretty easy to succeed here.

Gamemaster:A 25 is a success, I believe, which does mean it goes away.

Gamemaster:So Benny is no longer invaded.

Benny:That's crazy.

Gamemaster:Scary for me.

Argyle:Yes.

Benny:I'm mentally prepared to just do the rest of this fight at minus three.

Benny:And I was like, based on how Robin Olsen's been taking it, I feel pretty good about a minus three Benny the rest of the fight.

Benny:But this is, I don't know if Benny's going to focus on Robin Olsen any longer.

Gamemaster:Oof.

Johnny:I mean, you were really only at minus one.

Johnny:Like, the minus three was bad, but you were really at only a base minus one.

Argyle:I think we should just still kill him.

Johnny:Oh, oh.

Gamemaster:Well, you say that, Noah, but Robin Olsen is still frightened, and Benny still has his plus one from the other stuff.

Benny:Bless.

Gamemaster:Yeah, from the bless.

Gamemaster:So it's really now we can just treat it as like a plus three Benny, which is worse.

Johnny:Benny, this is dangerous.

Argyle:Doctor of Visitation.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:And then I will bat a medal at him.

Gamemaster:Yeah, go for it.

Argyle:No.

Gamemaster:You don't want to treat poison instead?

Argyle:I believe with Battle Medicine... What's my medicine at?

Johnny:Thank you.

Argyle:I'll do DC 50.

Gamemaster:DC-15.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Just because I think I can... Yeah.

Argyle:Alright, good thing I did that.

Argyle:There you go.

Benny:Very nice.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay, anything else?

Argyle:That's my...

Argyle:Uh, yes.

Argyle:It doesn't... Oh, no!

Argyle:That's so embarrassing.

Argyle:That's the wrong macro for the wrong character.

Argyle:Race Shield.

Gamemaster:It's Ashton's turn.

Gamemaster:Does Ashton go for the bird, or does he try and save his friend?

Johnny:Anzu and this guy are having two different fights.

Gamemaster:Oh, right.

Benny:I don't know if there's any sort of

Benny:support here.

Benny:I just had Mason Riley back off completely and leave Robin Olsen out here to die.

Benny:I think Ashton Morgan is going to try to kill the bird and then run.

Benny:Be like, I got one.

Benny:I don't know what happened to the other two of my friends.

Benny:I killed someone, though.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I mean... I think it just has to go for the bird.

Benny:At the end of the round, you're like, I got my one.

Benny:I got my one.

Johnny:I'll come for you on Zoom.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry, you got left alone.

Benny:Anzu, besting even Johnny in the Heart of distraction.

Anzu:Smoke and mirrors.

Benny:Oh no!

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:I'm a weak bird!

Gamemaster:Well...

Gamemaster:Well, it's going to step towards you.

Argyle:What an asshole.

Argyle:It's doing footwork.

Johnny:This guy doesn't know this bird is the highest kill count of any of us.

Gamemaster:It's going to step towards you.

Gamemaster:It's going to attempt a... Jaws attack?

Gamemaster:No, we'll do a tail attack.

Gamemaster:It'll form a tail out of its...

Argyle:Johnny, you're gonna need to go save on soon.

Johnny:I got it.

Johnny:I'm going to try and kill Robin Olsen and then I'll go save Anzu.

Gamemaster:I rolled a natural one.

Gamemaster:I rolled poorly twice.

Benny:Can you imagine if Anzu has like... Anzu.

Johnny:I don't think I need to save Anzu.

Johnny:Anzu's doing fine.

Gamemaster:Okay, Anzu is actually totally fine.

Gamemaster:It's the top of initiative.

Gamemaster:I need somebody to roll a d8 for me.

Benny:Me.

Benny:Actually, does someone else want to do it?

Benny:I'll do it.

Benny:That's fine.

Johnny:Big seven.

Benny:No one volunteered.

Anzu:Devin, ooh.

Benny:Seven.

Anzu:People who are not fire gain eight hit points.

Gamemaster:Devin, okay.

Gamemaster:Everybody is untethered as gravity disappears in the area around you.

Anzu:Oh, boy.

Gamemaster:So everybody's clumsy, except for Ashton, who can fly.

Anzu:Son of a bitch.

Johnny:I hate this question.

Anzu:I hate this guy.

Benny:Bye.

Anzu:I freaking hate this guy.

Argyle:But he's not flying right now, though.

Anzu:Well, if he just has like a fly speed, can't he just like...

Argyle:He's still on the ground.

Gamemaster:He is flying right now, though.

Johnny:This has no work.

Gamemaster:Um... No?

Argyle:No, he stepped.

Argyle:You have to maintain fly every round, don't you?

Argyle:I thought... Yeah, I thought...

Gamemaster:Yeah, he just has the... He just has a fly speed.

Gamemaster:Which I can... Let me read you the rules for zero gravity.

Gamemaster:The rules for zero gravity are...

Gamemaster:Um, creatures in zero G have the clumsy one off guard and untethered conditions.

Gamemaster:Um, a creature in a zero gravity environment can lift and carry 10 times the normal amount and multiplies the ranges of thrown weapons by 10.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Um, creatures with a natural fly speed, um, creatures fly, sorry, creatures with a natural fly speed are unaffected.

Argyle:Okay, I'll allow that.

Gamemaster:Okay, good.

Gamemaster:Thanks.

Gamemaster:Like, I didn't make this up.

Gamemaster:There are rules for this.

Argyle:No, but there is a, I'm pretty sure in PF2, there's like, if a creature's airborne.

Gamemaster:In Starfinder, if you have the cosmic trait, it's required, but we're not in Starfinder and there is no cosmic trait.

Argyle:No, no, no, no.

Argyle:I mean, I thought the core rules of a creature's airborne has like spend its action flying, even if it has wings or it falls.

Gamemaster:This isn't saying if they're flying, it's saying if you have a natural fly speed.

Argyle:No, that's what I said.

Argyle:That's what I said.

Argyle:I'll allow it.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Great.

Johnny:Very generous of Jorge.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:You're lucky I approved this one.

Gamemaster:I'm relieved.

Gamemaster:It's Mason's turn.

Gamemaster:I think Mason doesn't want to end up in this situation because right now the only direction he can move because he's on the ground is he can crawl five feet forward or he can push straight up.

Gamemaster:And he is worried about when gravity comes back falling immediately back down 25 feet.

Gamemaster:So I think he's going to stay exactly where he is.

Johnny:um

Gamemaster:And I think he's probably going to... He doesn't feel confident enough to re-up his shield, which is probably an issue.

Benny:Up.

Argyle:Yeah, Benny, go kill this guy.

Gamemaster:We're going to start with throwing... Oh no, he has a breath weapon.

Gamemaster:I'm going to use a breath weapon.

Gamemaster:I don't actually... Oh no, he's not going to use a breath weapon because he backed up too far and can't hit Argyle.

Gamemaster:That's crazy.

Johnny:Is Robin open too?

Gamemaster:Okay, fine.

Argyle:Hmm.

Argyle:He can go for Benny.

Gamemaster:Fine.

Gamemaster:He's going to crawl five feet on the ground and then use his breath weapon.

Benny:Oh.

Gamemaster:Just so that he can hit the two of you.

Argyle:Bitch.

Gamemaster:So I need the two of you to attempt this reflex save.

Argyle:Is this a religious check?

Gamemaster:This is a divine fire check.

Argyle:Oh, actually.

Gamemaster:Divine fire.

Benny:El fuego.

Argyle:Oh, this isn't holy, though.

Gamemaster:It doesn't have the holy trait now.

Gamemaster:It just has the divine trait.

Argyle:Yeah, never mind.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:Yeah, this man is not sanctified.

Johnny:Hmm.

Gamemaster:You succeed in it.

Gamemaster:So you're both going to take half damage here.

Argyle:Great.

Gamemaster:And then he will use his third action, probably we're attacking Benny still, I think.

Gamemaster:Or he's just going to attempt to divine Lance.

Gamemaster:But he's bad, so he misses.

Benny:Unfortunately.

Gamemaster:Yeah, it really is.

Gamemaster:Anzu, it's your turn.

Anzu:Do I take any penalties for trying to telekinetic projectile the guy that's directly in front of me?

Gamemaster:No, because you're not the one that's actually throwing it.

Gamemaster:It's magic that's propelling it, so it doesn't impart any momentum on you.

Anzu:That's so sick.

Anzu:I'm just freaking tired of him succeeding all my fort saves, so I gotta try something else.

Gamemaster:Understandable.

Anzu:So, let me see if I can...

Anzu:hit him with an attack roll instead.

Anzu:No, we're going to frickin' use Mythic Point.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:It looks like no.

Johnny:you you

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Benny:Kill him.

Gamemaster:It looks like yes.

Anzu:Jeez, still pretty low.

Gamemaster:That's a hit.

Anzu:It would have been sick to crit, but... Alright.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Anzu:But we'll do some damage.

Anzu:We'll do 28 points of piercing.

Gamemaster:That's a lot of dice for a cantrip.

Gamemaster:That's crazy.

Argyle:bitch bitch

Anzu:Well, it's amped, so it's a focus spell, technically.

Gamemaster:Still, if you still had a bird, that would be free the first time.

Gamemaster:28 points of damage.

Anzu:Yeah, I didn't get to suck power out of my bird before it died.

Johnny:That's so rude, Josh.

Benny:The bird screams when you do it.

Gamemaster:Ashton is bloodied.

Gamemaster:And as such... Okay, he gets pushed five feet away from you, but he is bloodied now, and so every creature in... Every enemy in a 90-foot radius, which is all of you...

Anzu:And he's pushed five feet away from me.

Argyle:That's a bullshit radius.

Gamemaster:has to attempt this will save.

Johnny:That's a dumb radius, Josh.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:Aura, emotion, fear, mental.

Benny:What are the traits?

Benny:Oh, God.

Anzu:Jesus Christ.

Johnny:I'm going to use a mythic point.

Argyle:Oh, it's mental.

Gamemaster:Listen, it is mental.

Argyle:Bitch.

Johnny:I don't want to fail this one.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:As it's

Argyle:As the effect is coming through, Argyle's halo hums a little bit.

Gamemaster:Nice.

Benny:Oh, my fucking God.

Benny:I don't know.

Benny:How bad can it be?

Gamemaster:Um, Benny and Anzu fail, so you are frightened too, as it lets out a shriek that shakes you to your bones.

Johnny:Do you have bravery or whatever it is?

Benny:Oh, wait.

Benny:Give me one second.

Gamemaster:I'm waiting.

Argyle:You're a fighter, so do you just ignore one of the...

Benny:I failed.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:But yeah, that is correct.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you failed.

Benny:when you succeeded a will save against a fear, it's, is it a fear effect?

Gamemaster:You didn't succeed.

Gamemaster:It is a fear effect, but... Love it.

Benny:Oh, well, it's only, it's only fear one for Benny bravery.

Johnny:Is that a lesson here?

Anzu:Right.

Anzu:Bravery always lowers fear by one, like no matter succeed or fail, like.

Benny:Yeah.

Benny:When you, yeah.

Anzu:Right.

Gamemaster:And then if you succeed, you critically succeed instead.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:So you're a frightened one.

Gamemaster:All right, Anzu, it's still your turn.

Anzu:Yeah, I've got two more actions.

Argyle:Alright, since you're going to fear one, I'm not going to stop that.

Anzu:So we're going to hit this guy with a Psiburst.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:I'm just trying to think.

Anzu:I think we'll have him do the will save.

Gamemaster:All right.

Gamemaster:We'll do this.

Gamemaster:We'll save them.

Gamemaster:He does succeed, unfortunately.

Anzu:I'll take half this damage.

Anzu:Oh my god, let's go.

Anzu:I wish he took all of it.

Gamemaster:He takes six points of damage.

Gamemaster:Triple fours is not bad.

Anzu:Yeah.

Johnny:you you

Anzu:With my final action, I will cry.

Anzu:I think probably I'll calculate threats again.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:You're dehydrated now.

Gamemaster:At the end of your turn, because you've imparted momentum on Ashton, he continues moving.

Benny:Thank you.

Anzu:Now, I have a question.

Gamemaster:So he's a... It does.

Anzu:Does my frightened condition go down at the end of my turn, or is it too soon since gaining it?

Gamemaster:Nope.

Gamemaster:At the end of your turn, the frightened condition goes down.

Johnny:Nice.

Anzu:All right.

Gamemaster:Johnny, it's your turn.

Johnny:All right.

Johnny:I'm just kind of free floating.

Johnny:As I'm spinning, I will... Where are all my stuff?

Johnny:I will begin to spin a yarn to Robin Olsen about how swords, of swords that cut through fire.

Johnny:And I will use invented vulnerability on this guy.

Argyle:Oh, no.

Gamemaster:Don't do that.

Gamemaster:That's a crit.

Johnny:So I will attempt a deception check, which I really hope works against this man who is... Oh, great, it's a crit.

Benny:didn't you forget you're vulnerable yeah

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:So he takes... So he is weak.

Johnny:He has weakness six to... Benny, your sword does slashing, right?

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:That's more just precaution.

Johnny:That's one action.

Johnny:I will then... I'm so sorry for what I'm about to do, Josh.

Argyle:Oh no.

Johnny:I will flourish cast Horde of Underlings.

Gamemaster:I forgot that I have to make underlings for you.

Johnny:You don't have to put them on.

Johnny:They do slash.

Gamemaster:That's a

Johnny:No, it's okay.

Johnny:Don't worry about it.

Johnny:So they do... Oh, God.

Johnny:I'm just going to roll the damage on this guy.

Johnny:I don't want to place all this.

Johnny:Oh, my gosh.

Johnny:Help.

Johnny:How do I get rid of this thing?

Johnny:Well, all right.

Johnny:I guess this is there.

Johnny:I don't know how to get rid of this.

Johnny:I'm going to roll the damage.

Johnny:um so this will be what how many uh i get how many of these guys six okay so this should be oh no i don't know why i just did one of those stop rolling these okay well yeah it should be 64 plus 36 so i'm just gonna do

Gamemaster:Razy connection there.

Argyle:64 plus 36.

Gamemaster:Well, so part of the problem here is the reading of the spell.

Gamemaster:Is it 64?

Gamemaster:Or is it six attacks of 1d4?

Gamemaster:Because if it's 6d4, then the weakness applies once.

Johnny:you you

Gamemaster:If it's six attacks of 1d4, then the weakness applies six times.

Anzu:I mean, it says each underling attacks one enemy, which...

Argyle:I think it does.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Gamemaster:I think the answer here is I'm letting it go through because that's creative and very impressive and congrats, good job.

Gamemaster:I need to double check the rules to see because I'm like 98% sure this is not how this spell is intended to be used.

Gamemaster:but I will double-check for you.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:Either way, in this instance, absolutely.

Gamemaster:Go for it.

Gamemaster:Actually, I don't even know if you want to bother rolling, because it's 6 times 6 plus 64.

Gamemaster:It is impossible for this person to survive.

Johnny:So I will, as I'm spinning, I will just look directly, I'll just look directly at Mason Riley and I will say,

Gamemaster:So...

Benny:I have.

Johnny:And just a whole bunch of Johnny Skyfalls appear with big swords and just cut through his friend.

Gamemaster:And he's gone.

Johnny:And just cut him out of existence.

Anzu:And there's a big round of shine of the sunglasses that goes through like a wave.

Johnny:I don't know how to get rid of this cone, but...

Gamemaster:I don't know what you're talking about.

Gamemaster:What kind?

Johnny:Oh, thank you.

Benny:I have a question.

Gamemaster:Is that your turn?

Johnny:Yes, that's my turn.

Benny:What... Did Mason Riley heal?

Benny:Oh.

Gamemaster:Mason Riley has healed, yes.

Gamemaster:Because they went from bloodied to injured.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:When did that happen?

Benny:They will have to make a DC...

Gamemaster:At the start of the round.

Benny:Because I have red gold mortality, so if they attempt to regain hit points, they have to make a check.

Gamemaster:Ooh.

Gamemaster:That's a good point.

Gamemaster:Sick.

Gamemaster:Yeah, it was Anzu's turn, so you weren't feared at that point.

Benny:It's a DC... I don't think I was feared at that point.

Benny:Was I?

Benny:No, I would have been, because it was Ashton Morgan that... No, it was Anzu's turn.

Benny:It was Anzu's turn.

Benny:So it would be a 22, a DC 22 wheel safe.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:Let's make a will save for this guy, and then we'll just add one to your DC.

Gamemaster:Subtract from this roll.

Gamemaster:Yeah, he fails, I assume.

Gamemaster:Oh, actually, he succeeds by one, which means he succeeds by zero.

Benny:Fair enough.

Gamemaster:I apologize.

Benny:I didn't expect this to work anyways.

Benny:I imagine they have a very high... Yeah.

Gamemaster:But that is a point.

Gamemaster:I forgot I should call out when things heal.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Benny:It's okay.

Gamemaster:It is your turn, Benny.

Gamemaster:Oh, sorry, before it's your turn, Johnny, you're on fire.

Johnny:i'm just gonna eat fire just preemptively um

Gamemaster:Yeah, absolutely.

Gamemaster:So just roll a recovery check as well.

Benny:does movement work when i'm when we're in the zero g so i can't get to mason riley uh yeah unfortunately i don't have nimble crawl yet

Gamemaster:You can either crawl five feet, or you can push and move upward, up to your movement speed.

Gamemaster:Nope.

Gamemaster:Unless you have something that would propel you forward that you could, like, justify as being propulsive.

Argyle:Or you get nimble crawl.

Benny:um how does crawling even work in zero g i'm grabbing onto the ground crawling is five feet uh actually let me

Gamemaster:You...

Gamemaster:Yep.

Johnny:you you

Gamemaster:Unless you have a feat that lets you crawl more.

Benny:Is that going to work?

Benny:Yeah, 15 feet crawling.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Gamemaster:That's the end of your turn.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:All righty.

Gamemaster:Because you are... Oh, sorry, you're on fire.

Gamemaster:So we do the fire check.

Gamemaster:We take two points of fire damage.

Gamemaster:You may attempt recovery check if you like.

Benny:And am I no longer a feared?

Johnny:Nope, he's going by.

Gamemaster:It is the end of your turn.

Gamemaster:You are no longer feared.

Gamemaster:You got a crit, so you're not on fire anymore.

Gamemaster:And you moved 15 feet in the same direction that turn, so you're going to move an additional 15 feet.

Gamemaster:I don't actually think you can pass through him, so you're only going to move five feet forward, which I guess actually works out in your favor.

Benny:Nice.

Benny:Yeah, how do I stop?

Benny:Do I have to use another move action to stop?

Gamemaster:Correct.

Benny:OK.

Gamemaster:It is Argyle's turn.

Argyle:Great.

Argyle:I will look at Mason Riley, and I will dispel the magic off of him by casting Crisis of Faith.

Gamemaster:Oh, I was going to say, what magic are you dispelling?

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Argyle:Is he divine?

Gamemaster:He can cast divine spells.

Argyle:Yes.

Argyle:You need to make the save.

Gamemaster:Maybe I don't want to.

Argyle:You kind of have to.

Argyle:Bitch.

Gamemaster:All right, well, I succeed.

Argyle:That sucks.

Argyle:I hate this game.

Gamemaster:I rolled a 19.

Johnny:you

Argyle:Why doesn't it want me to have fun?

Gamemaster:I'm good at rolling.

Gamemaster:Because fuck you.

Argyle:And then I... Yeah.

Gamemaster:I have a module that just makes rolls against saves from Argyle really good.

Benny:you

Argyle:Is this even worth it?

Argyle:Yeah, might as well.

Argyle:My gloves glow gold and I heal.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Is that the end of your turn?

Argyle:Yeesh.

Gamemaster:And it's Ashton's turn.

Argyle:Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Argyle:That was the only... I still have an extra action because of Flourish.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:What else you doing?

Gamemaster:Alright.

Argyle:I'm now done.

Gamemaster:Now it's Ashton's turn.

Gamemaster:Ashton just got pushed back a bunch of feet, so now he's going to spend his movement to go back to Anzu.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:So he returns.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:He can fly.

Gamemaster:So that's one action.

Gamemaster:Second action is going to be a jaw attack.

Argyle:Not to be that guy, but no gravity would affect air.

Gamemaster:He's going to try and bite you.

Gamemaster:Yeah?

Gamemaster:What?

Argyle:I don't know how that would practically change things, but I feel like it'd fuck up flying.

Benny:Thank you.

Argyle:I know it doesn't matter in Pathfinder, but I feel like... Oh, smart atoms?

Gamemaster:Well...

Gamemaster:It doesn't matter, especially given that this guy isn't using wings to fly.

Gamemaster:He's made out of fire.

Gamemaster:He's just kind of, he's moving in the same way that, like, Viltrumites do.

Gamemaster:He's just kind of moving through the air.

Gamemaster:Okay?

Gamemaster:Is that how they do it, smart atoms?

Argyle:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Argyle:Their atoms are smart.

Argyle:That's how they can fly.

Argyle:They can punch hard.

Gamemaster:Of course.

Argyle:They can resist.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:The mechanics don't really matter.

Gamemaster:All you need to know is he spends one action to move up to Anzu and then his second action to try and bite him.

Gamemaster:And I rolled very, very well.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Anzu:Is it going to deal fire damage at all?

Benny:Don't worry.

Gamemaster:It is.

Gamemaster:Yes, this is a fire attack.

Gamemaster:It's going to do some fire damage because of the fire.

Anzu:I eat!

Anzu:Wait, why didn't it... Oh, hold on.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:You got them right where you want them.

Gamemaster:It's 46 points of damage.

Gamemaster:I did crit.

Gamemaster:Oh, did you apply the eat fire status effect to yourself?

Anzu:Let me undo it.

Anzu:No, I just clicked the button.

Gamemaster:Yep.

Gamemaster:For shame.

Johnny:I'm coming on Zoom.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:And then because that was a crit, he gets his exploding red breath back.

Anzu:Oh my god.

Anzu:Woo!

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, he doesn't have the actions to use it right now.

Gamemaster:So instead, I think he's just going to try and grab you.

Gamemaster:Where's the grab?

Gamemaster:Show me grab action.

Gamemaster:Show me grab.

Gamemaster:Oh, he can't grab because I used a jaw attack.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:I'm going to make a tail attack.

Gamemaster:I rolled bad that time.

Gamemaster:Top of the round.

Benny:Did the 10 hit?

Gamemaster:What?

Benny:I'm joking.

Benny:You rolled a 10.

Gamemaster:Oh, yeah, no, I assumed the 10 doesn't hit.

Gamemaster:It's the top of the round.

Gamemaster:Gravity comes back.

Gamemaster:Can I have somebody do me a favor and roll a d8?

Benny:Yes.

Benny:Seven.

Anzu:Well, there goes gravity.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:Okay, well... Gravity...

Benny:Does gravity come back, Josh?

Gamemaster:Gravity doesn't come back.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Benny:Let's go.

Gamemaster:One second.

Benny:I like pain.

Gamemaster:Let me add the clumsy and off-guard back to you two, because I started taking it off, and apparently that was a mistake.

Argyle:Wait, does that mean?

Argyle:Does that mean if Benny swings, he's just going to turn into like a windmill?

Argyle:Where the momentum of the source turns into a top?

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:It's Mason's turn.

Gamemaster:Mason... Oh, one second.

Gamemaster:Let me roll this.

Anzu:Mason.

Gamemaster:Mason does not get their breath weapon back.

Benny:the tubes what do they mean the blue tubes

Johnny:you you

Gamemaster:Toops?

Argyle:Start interrogating him.

Gamemaster:What does he want to do to you?

Gamemaster:I think he's just going to attack you.

Argyle:He's going to start going, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Gamemaster:He's gonna also do a tail attack on you, because he's got one of those.

Gamemaster:Because everything that's on fire has tails.

Gamemaster:Everybody knows that.

Benny:Okay.

Gamemaster:That is a hit.

Gamemaster:Because you are clumsy and off guard.

Benny:Of course.

Gamemaster:16 points of slashing damage.

Gamemaster:And then we'll follow it up with a flame jaw attack.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:We like a flame jaw attack.

Gamemaster:Nope.

Gamemaster:We don't actually like a flame jaw attack.

Gamemaster:I was lying when I said we like those.

Benny:They're banned.

Gamemaster:And then we'll cast shield.

Gamemaster:Oh, that was probably a mistake.

Gamemaster:It's fine.

Benny:Damn it, Josh.

Gamemaster:He casts Shield.

Benny:I think that he's not going to do something like cast shield, so I got to get my food.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Benny:You know, it's funny.

Benny:Benny is off guard and clumsy.

Benny:This guy's also off guard and clumsy.

Gamemaster:Correct.

Benny:So any...

Gamemaster:He does not have a Fly Speed.

Benny:I just think it's funny.

Gamemaster:No.

Benny:Oh, yes.

Gamemaster:That's illegal.

Benny:He's not currently bloodied?

Johnny:He's about to be bloodied.

Benny:No, he's not currently bloodied.

Gamemaster:He's not currently bloodied.

Benny:So the damage will be tame.

Gamemaster:I will take... I will take that damage.

Benny:Oh, a one is disappointing, but that's fine.

Johnny:And he's off guard?

Johnny:Wow.

Benny:Yeah, now he's really off guard.

Gamemaster:He is now bloodied.

Gamemaster:I don't know if that's relevant.

Benny:It is for me.

Benny:Next turn.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:And then his shield comes into effect.

Gamemaster:Oh wait, no, you crit.

Gamemaster:His shield does not come into effect.

Gamemaster:He doesn't even get shielded.

Gamemaster:Anzu, it's your turn.

Anzu:I'm in a bad way.

Anzu:Um, I'm actually stupefied.

Anzu:Can you stupefy me?

Gamemaster:Uh, yeah.

Gamemaster:Discombobulate.

Anzu:I'm just in a bad way all around.

Johnny:Do you hear a boy?

Anzu:But, we're gonna risk it all for the biscuit and attempt to use my only third level spell slot.

Gamemaster:Ooh, what's he doing?

Benny:I catch tidy at third level.

Anzu:I'm going to try to suck him.

Gamemaster:No.

Anzu:The DC six.

Gamemaster:Oh.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry, it doesn't work.

Anzu:I thought it was five.

Gamemaster:It's five plus your stupefied level.

Anzu:Oh my God.

Argyle:Can he hero point that?

Anzu:No.

Anzu:Cause I don't have a point.

Gamemaster:Well, yeah, so, no.

Argyle:Oh.

Gamemaster:I would let you normally, though, if you had one.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:No vampiric feast for you.

Gamemaster:I just wanted to see what he would have gotten on the fort save.

Anzu:What was this for?

Anzu:That's messed up.

Johnny:I'm coming on Zoom.

Anzu:I am up shit creek without a paddle right now.

Argyle:The only thing I got that reaches you is a spiritual weapon.

Anzu:All right.

Benny:Argyle, put him out of his misery.

Gamemaster:Stab him.

Benny:Fucking mace comes out and he just slams him in the back of the head.

Gamemaster:Okay, hit it with the beak.

Johnny:Hans is like, I'm not down yet.

Anzu:We're going to try to freaking hit him with the beak.

Gamemaster:Do a beak attack.

Anzu:Because that's what we do when we panic.

Gamemaster:The beak attack is so good.

Gamemaster:You hit every time with the beak attack.

Anzu:This is what we do when it's panic time.

Anzu:We pull out the beak, and we do one point of damage.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Argyle:Thank you.

Benny:Yeah.

Anzu:And as we noted at the beginning of the session, I can fly a little bit.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:You gain a fly speed of 20 feet for this movement?

Anzu:So I fly 20 feet this way.

Gamemaster:Absolutely, that does work.

Gamemaster:Great.

Gamemaster:Is that the end of your turn?

Anzu:Yes.

Gamemaster:Johnny.

Gamemaster:You're no longer frightened.

Argyle:Oh, man, you're 35 feet away, just out of range of my heel.

Johnny:Top of the round, I will Flourish Cast Soothe at 3rd level on Anzu.

Gamemaster:Ouch.

Gamemaster:Hey.

Argyle:Oh, that's good.

Gamemaster:That's a good heal.

Anzu:Beauty.

Benny:Sizable.

Johnny:How far is this guy?

Benny:Oh!

Gamemaster:You rolled a natural 20 on your stupefied check, which doesn't actually apply here.

Gamemaster:Just for some reason, Foundry thinks you need to roll one.

Gamemaster:So good job.

Johnny:That's one action.

Gamemaster:It's unfortunate now that you've used up that 20 on Zoot, so your next roll is going to be like a 4.

Gamemaster:But it happens.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:Mm-hmm.

Johnny:That's one action.

Johnny:Next action, I will... I will... I'll just needle darts this guy.

Johnny:Sure, why not?

Johnny:I'll try and needle darts this dude.

Gamemaster:Okay, needle darts a guy.

Johnny:I have a bunch of gold.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:Sometimes you just gotta needle darts.

Johnny:I have a bunch of silver, so we'll do it with silver, just for fun.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:I think you get it back.

Gamemaster:Who is this against?

Gamemaster:Mason or Ashton?

Johnny:Ashton Morgan.

Johnny:I hit.

Gamemaster:Alright, roll an attack roll.

Gamemaster:That hits.

Johnny:I will roll damage.

Johnny:It was okay.

Gamemaster:11 points of damage.

Johnny:That's my turn.

Gamemaster:He takes the full damage, but doesn't seem to recoil from the silver.

Johnny:I'm just out here.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Next up is... Oh, wait, sorry, I keep forgetting.

Gamemaster:Chami, you continue to be on fire.

Gamemaster:Alright, and then it's Benny's turn.

Benny:Kill, kill, kill.

Gamemaster:Oh, you're no longer on fire.

Gamemaster:Nice.

Johnny:finally have been on fire this whole fight.

Gamemaster:He dodges.

Benny:Murder.

Gamemaster:Dodge.

Argyle:Mm-hmm.

Benny:Kill.

Gamemaster:Dodge.

Benny:Hit him with the murder-kill combo.

Gamemaster:Okay, well, he didn't dodge that one, but it wasn't a crit.

Benny:Murder.

Benny:Oh, wait, hold on.

Benny:There we go.

Benny:Murder.

Benny:My blade hungers.

Gamemaster:Oh, okay.

Benny:So the plus six will now have to be the compensating for the rules.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Benny:Murder.

Gamemaster:He takes 14 points of damage.

Benny:Kill, kill, kill.

Gamemaster:That's a crit.

Benny:Murder, murder, murder.

Gamemaster:I don't know if Betty has learned the right life lessons at nine years old.

Johnny:Oh my gosh.

Benny:Kill, kill, kill, murder, murder, murder.

Gamemaster:35 points of damage is enough to murder, murder, murder, kill, kill, kill.

Argyle:And then he just starts jumping towards the other guy.

Benny:Kill, kill, murder, murder, kill.

Benny:Yes.

Benny:Kill, kill, kill.

Gamemaster:Mason Reilly disappears in a puff of ash.

Benny:Benny is just crawling and then just floating.

Benny:Actually, yes, because Benny does have one action left.

Johnny:Thank you.

Benny:He got out of work early, I guess.

Benny:So Benny will crawl five feet that way.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:That's the end of your turn, so you're not on fire anymore.

Benny:That's the end of it.

Gamemaster:You will move five more feet as the momentum carries you forward.

Gamemaster:Argyle, it's your turn.

Argyle:Spiritual armament.

Gamemaster:He is going to kill Anzu.

Argyle:Spirit.

Argyle:Attack.

Gamemaster:Okay, go use your spiritual weapon against Mr. Morgan.

Gamemaster:That hits.

Gamemaster:Roll damage.

Gamemaster:That's a good roll.

Johnny:you you

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:He is still standing.

Gamemaster:Or floating.

Gamemaster:But they are mortal.

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, that one does miss.

Argyle:No, it doesn't.

Gamemaster:Yes, it does.

Argyle:I will mythic it.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:It might still miss.

Argyle:I have three of them.

Gamemaster:You didn't miss.

Benny:Oh, my God.

Gamemaster:You actually critically hit... He had eight hit points left.

Argyle:That should be doubled.

Argyle:Yes!

Benny:Murder, murder, murder.

Argyle:Yes!

Benny:Kill, kill, kill.

Argyle:Argo?

Johnny:Clean, clean pipe.

Benny:No consequences for our action.

Benny:Woo!

Argyle:Our guy has his sword out, no, his shield out, and he's mostly casting.

Argyle:And then when he sees the other guy's dead, he kind of turns a little bit, and then just opens his sword, but not all the way out of the scabbard, closes it, and then does it again twice.

Argyle:And then just spiritual weapon slice, slice, slice.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:The eyes themselves.

Johnny:Dude, just Argyle's eyes, even though you don't have glasses.

Johnny:Do you have glasses?

Johnny:Do your eyes just go... He gets it.

Argyle:No, his solid gold irises are just like, shing!

Argyle:And then he says, yes and murder?

Johnny:You're getting it, Argyle.

Benny:Want to see me go over there and kill that guy?

Benny:Want to see me do it again?

Gamemaster:And the gravity returns to the hallway, and you all rewrite yourselves as gravity returns.

Johnny:Oh no.

Gamemaster:Three puddles of ash, like in Fallout when you kill somebody with a laser gun, just kind of collect on the ground.

Argyle:Mm-hmm.

Anzu:Um, actually, as a note, Anzu runs over to the fourth, smaller pile of ash and pulls out two little singed bird feet and goes, Oh my god, Othello!

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Benny:Gross, dude.

Anzu:How could they do this to you?

Benny:What the fuck?

Anzu:They killed my bird!

Anzu:They all have to die!

Johnny:Is Anzu's origin story?

Argyle:Argyle's going to go towards him and go, it is unclear what happens to animals when they pass away, but they may be with your maker.

Benny:Benny will lean to the other two and say, I honestly thought the bird was immortal.

Benny:It's never died.

Johnny:It died so fast this time.

Johnny:Like, right off the bat.

Benny:Right?

Anzu:Thanks for the solace.

Argyle:It is just fact.

Johnny:Johnny will go over and just silently pat Anzu on the shoulder.

Argyle:We should continue fleeing.

Argyle:Unless we want to go back to the crack.

Anzu:Seems kind of unstable.

Benny:Benny will walk up to Argyle, pat him on the shoulder.

Benny:It feels like a grown man is patting Argyle on the shoulder.

Benny:And will say, birds aside, you did solid there.

Argyle:Thank you.

Argyle:Everyone can heal 12.

Johnny:nice fellas good fight i'm sorry we lost our our bird our smaller bird

Benny:Let's hit the damage button.

Anzu:I guess that's what I get for bringing him into such lines of danger.

Benny:We're kind of in world-ending danger right now.

Argyle:Should we go check in on the source of this or just leave?

Gamemaster:There is another rumble as another wave of gravity passes by.

Johnny:I feel like we should.

Benny:I feel like we have to leave.

Gamemaster:You feel yourselves turned around a little bit.

Argyle:I propose.

Gamemaster:I was trying to figure out how he gets Othello back, and that led me to this feat, which is on the website.

Gamemaster:called G-G-G-G-G.

Gamemaster:Um, but unfortunately it's, I don't think, valid for our campaign.

Johnny:Dang, we're not allowed to use the fools aplenty.

Johnny:What about the three kobolds and a trench coat ancestry?

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Uh, and I will let you take the dad joke feat.

Gamemaster:That's allowed.

Johnny:Nice.

Johnny:This is fun.

Gamemaster:So another wave of gravitational energy passes through the hallway and you can see at this point that like flickering light seems to have moved towards you or expanded really is a better whatever.

Anzu:We should move.

Argyle:Oh.

Argyle:We should go.

Gamemaster:It looks like some of the columns closer to you are now starting to show that same flickering light through the liquid.

Benny:yeah mm-hmm

Argyle:Oh, the hallway's collapsing.

Johnny:We should run.

Johnny:Run, run, run.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Their little slide's collapsing.

Argyle:Go, go, go, go, go.

Gamemaster:Oh, you guys are running now?

Johnny:Yep.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:You start running back down the hallway trying to make up the time that you lost all 24 seconds that you just spent fighting.

Gamemaster:Um...

Gamemaster:as you continue moving down the hallway, every once in a while there is another burst of that gravitational energy.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:Somehow, despite there being many options for what the gravity could do to you, we only saw the two that got demonstrated before the fight in the fight.

Gamemaster:So now you guys, as you're running, are getting pushed around and getting thrown against the ceiling and all of that kind of stuff, but did not come into play at all during the actual combat, so it's fine.

Gamemaster:as you continue making your way towards the end of the hallway.

Gamemaster:After, I mean, if you're running now, like, you can run for ten minutes without another check.

Johnny:God damn it.

Gamemaster:You just get to the end.

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, I do need a fort save from everybody as they get to the end, because that means that they have gotten back to the sewers.

Johnny:I think you're Johnny.

Gamemaster:I just want to know if you are...

Argyle:Is gagging an emotional factor?

Gamemaster:No, it is a physical response.

Johnny:It is.

Benny:What are the traits?

Gamemaster:Natural 20.

Johnny:Poop.

Gamemaster:I don't even know.

Gamemaster:What trade are you looking for me to say?

Gamemaster:It's not poison.

Benny:Poison?

Benny:All right, never mind.

Argyle:Give it to him.

Argyle:Give it to him, Josh.

Argyle:Give him double, whatever it is, Josh.

Argyle:Give him double.

Gamemaster:Actually, it doesn't matter.

Gamemaster:Everybody did great except for Johnny.

Gamemaster:Johnny, you're sick and won.

Johnny:I have never once made this save.

Argyle:The bell buds.

Gamemaster:Johnny does not like the smell in the sewers, and he has nothing to protect against it.

Benny:Oops.

Gamemaster:So every time he goes back, he wants to retch, but he can't because... because...

Argyle:You want to blow up the computer room?

Johnny:Listen, I'm just a semi-immortal guy in cool sunglasses and jorts.

Johnny:And I cannot save myself in the sewers.

Argyle:Semi-immortal guy that's like... Yes.

Johnny:As we're running, I turn to Argo, and I go, did you see how I killed that guy?

Gamemaster:Can I get a perception check?

Johnny:I just start puking.

Gamemaster:Okay, with a 21.

Argyle:Wait.

Argyle:You know what?

Argyle:I'll do better.

Argyle:Yeah, it's fine.

Gamemaster:With a 29, which is like a 21, but more.

Argyle:I will not do better.

Gamemaster:You notice two things as you're running forward.

Gamemaster:At this point, the rumbles, the gravitational waves coming out of the hallway seem to, if anything, be growing in intensity and frequency.

Gamemaster:Every time you get hit with another wave as it passes by, there is a noticeable shaking of the ground around you, and you're starting to see pieces of the ceiling and the walls of this hundreds-year-old part of the sewers start to dislodge themselves in places that they were weakest first from this constant gravitational shifting battering that's happening.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:In addition, as you made it to this area, if you recall, there are a bunch of pipes with the same blue liquid that you've seen everywhere else in this area flowing through it.

Argyle:they're running out of juice

Gamemaster:Since you're close enough to see it in this area, there are noticeable bubbles in the pipes here of liquid where it looks like it's not glowing blue at all.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:It's just completely inert.

Gamemaster:Just like this dark, dark blue.

Gamemaster:And there are hairline fractures in some of the pipes as well, as if some of the pressure has increased on the inside past what would be normally expected in the system.

Gamemaster:In addition, with a 29, you do hear the sounds of... It's kind of hard to make out from this distance.

Gamemaster:four or five or six people talking like distinct voices uh in the room over um that you had originally read off of that terminal and they had a number of their scientific equipment set up um it doesn't look like any of them has necessarily like come out into the hallway uh but the voices are pretty frantic sounding um from what you can what you can gleam

Benny:I think we at least I think we at least head in Benny is ready to continue going if there is more murder to be done no no to continue murdering

Argyle:Open the door and throw the bomb.

Johnny:Do we want to keep going?

Johnny:If I heal up a little bit, can we hear what they're saying?

Benny:Yeah.

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Do you want to sneak up to the door and, like, try and listen in?

Gamemaster:Because you can attempt to do that if you like.

Argyle:Or do you want to push the door down?

Johnny:I'll try and hear what they're saying first.

Argyle:If I were to throw this bomb, is that an athletic check or what is that?

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Gamemaster:Yeah, it would be an athletics check.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:It is an 100-pound bomb.

Johnny:Wait, before we do this... Before we do this, I have a possible plan to lure them out.

Argyle:Yeah, I'm just going to... I'm not expecting to get much.

Argyle:Just more of like a... Maybe Benny and I can both try to toss it together.

Johnny:If I can get sight on them, I can pretend to be Mason Riley and cast Message and say, This is Mason Riley!

Argyle:Okay.

Johnny:Something has gone wrong!

Johnny:The slide is collapsing!

Johnny:Help!

Johnny:And see if they'll come running out.

Benny:Yeah, can we put the bomb outside the door and then Anzu get ready to telekinetic projectile when they come out?

Argyle:All right, no, we'll put the bomb at the stairs.

Johnny:I'll try and see...

Argyle:We'll put the bomb at the stairs.

Benny:Although, I don't know.

Benny:Maybe they're just innocent scientists.

Argyle:Fucking kill them.

Johnny:I'll try and speak up and I'll try and get eyes on them and also hear what they're saying.

Argyle:They work for the evil people.

Benny:Maybe the pay is good.

Gamemaster:I mean, the pay could be good.

Argyle:No.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Benny:We don't know.

Argyle:I hand Anzu one of my bullets to use for his telekinetic projectile.

Gamemaster:You can... Absolutely.

Anzu:Sure.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Why not train?

Gamemaster:Yeah, roll another perception check as you sneak up to the door and try and listen to what's going on.

Johnny:Perceive.

Johnny:27.

Johnny:Am I sickened?

Gamemaster:What'd you get?

Gamemaster:A 27?

Johnny:I am sickened.

Argyle:Wait.

Johnny:I don't think it's showing on here.

Johnny:That's actually 26.

Gamemaster:Oh, right.

Argyle:Guidance.

Gamemaster:I didn't give you second.

Argyle:I give you guidance.

Gamemaster:You're giving him a retroactive guidance?

Johnny:Never mind.

Johnny:It cancels out.

Johnny:It's 27.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Gamemaster:One second.

Argyle:Wait, so what is it?

Argyle:What's the guidance?

Argyle:Does he get plus one?

Argyle:Yes, 28.

Gamemaster:He has plus one.

Gamemaster:No, 27.

Argyle:Never mind, 27.

Gamemaster:He's sickened so he gets minus one and then he's guidance so he gets plus one.

Argyle:Yes.

Argyle:Dispel the second.

Gamemaster:So it's just flat.

Argyle:I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:One second.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:One moment, please.

Gamemaster:I was just going to pull you guys into the scene.

Gamemaster:Not that you're necessarily going in, but just if you want to take a look.

Gamemaster:Okay, so Johnny's sneaking up to the door.

Gamemaster:He's got a .27.

Gamemaster:He's listening in.

Gamemaster:You hear pretty frantic voices.

Gamemaster:They are still a little further away, even when you're at the door, so you don't get full pieces of conversation, but you get snippets.

Gamemaster:You hear a very hurried, lost connection to the mainframe.

Gamemaster:You hear some people talking about how...

Gamemaster:There is concern about the gravitational readings and they're trying to figure out what's causing it.

Gamemaster:There are mentions about instability being detected in the fracture.

Gamemaster:There's one person talking about making an offsite backup and just running it away.

Gamemaster:And there's two or three that it sounds like they're planning on, they haven't heard back from the forward team.

Argyle:We gotta blow this up and leave.

Gamemaster:So they're planning on sending another group of people in.

Johnny:Do I have eyes on any of these folks?

Gamemaster:Yeah, I can say you peek around.

Gamemaster:It's got the, like, the last time you walked in, you noticed it's not actually a door.

Gamemaster:It's you're, like, listening past.

Gamemaster:There's a set of, like, plastic, like, barrier that you can walk through.

Argyle:Benny.

Gamemaster:Roll a, I guess, a nature or an occultism check, please.

Argyle:We might have to chuck a bomb into the computer room.

Argyle:Do you have Godspeed, Benny?

Benny:I want Johnny to attempt to impersonate Mason Riley to see if we can get our hands on the back of their talking about making.

Argyle:Maybe we should just Godspeed away.

Argyle:Hmm.

Johnny:Yeah.

Johnny:Oh, my God.

Johnny:I had a brain fart.

Johnny:Occultism.

Johnny:Here it is.

Gamemaster:or nature.

Anzu:I do not think that we should fight these guys.

Benny:What does this gutter say?

Johnny:Yep.

Johnny:18.

Johnny:Big 18.

Gamemaster:Within 18, unfortunately, there isn't a lot that you can get out of this.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:These are also clearly people who are like fire transformed in much the same fashion as what you had seen previously.

Argyle:Uh oh.

Gamemaster:The only thing you get within 18 is...

Gamemaster:Some of these guys have pretty big raiments.

Gamemaster:They are this like charred black raiment, but each of them definitely has a raiment at least a little bit larger than yours.

Argyle:Hmm.

Johnny:I'll just message to each of the folks because I don't have to speak aloud for this.

Johnny:We should not fight these guys.

Johnny:I'm going to lure them out and then we'll set the bomb off and we just run.

Johnny:We just collapse the building right here.

Johnny:We just set the bomb off right here.

Johnny:We should not fight these guys.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:Okay.

Argyle:Sounds good.

Benny:Yeah, I think we just hit the bottom half of that.

Benny:Yeah.

Argyle:We placed the bomb.

Johnny:I'll move out of the way so they can place the bomb.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Can I get, if Benny's trying to put the bomb close enough to collapse the stuff, I'm going to need a stealth check from Benny, because this is a sneaky operation.

Gamemaster:No, I'm sorry.

Argyle:And it's on Benny.

Johnny:Thank you.

Benny:Of course.

Benny:Is Benny still clumsy?

Benny:No.

Gamemaster:None of you should be clumsy or off guard anymore.

Argyle:Oh, come on, big money, no Emmys.

Benny:Luckily, I have not spent my mythic point yet.

Gamemaster:And any of your 10-minute effects or below should be gone as well.

Argyle:No!

Benny:Perfect.

Argyle:What?

Argyle:That's passable, maybe?

Benny:Perfect.

Benny:Mythic Point has never wronged me in any way.

Benny:No, it's 22.

Gamemaster:OK, one second.

Anzu:Josh, could I have done something right before we walked into this area?

Anzu:That is to cast the first level soothe out of my staff on myself.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you can do that.

Argyle:Well, it's 23 because of the guidance, which gives you status bonus.

Argyle:Oh, is that what that circumstance bonus is?

Gamemaster:Yeah, no, he added it.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:I'm just going to, for the person closest, I'm just going to roll a perception check and see what they get.

Johnny:We got to go.

Argyle:Oof.

Gamemaster:The 23, unfortunately.

Anzu:Thank you.

Argyle:Well, we got to start running and setting this off.

Gamemaster:Uh, so... Benny sneaks up to the spot where he can, like, place the bomb in such a way that you can hit it from out of its range.

Argyle:Mm hmm.

Gamemaster:Um, and he places it down, and it just lands funny on, like, the bit of the staircase that he sets it on, and there's this clang sound.

Argyle:Mm hmm.

Gamemaster:It's not very loud, but you, um... Benny and Johnny, since you two are the closest and you can hear, uh... You can hear that, uh...

Gamemaster:the people are still talking inside, and one of the people says, I heard something.

Gamemaster:And then after a moment starts walking towards you.

Johnny:I'll just message.

Benny:Benny is going to pop Godspeed.

Johnny:They're coming.

Johnny:Run, run.

Gamemaster:So.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Argyle:I will as well.

Benny:Oh wait, this is a mythic point.

Benny:Never mind, never mind.

Benny:I just spent my mythic point.

Argyle:Okay.

Benny:What the fuck?

Gamemaster:Okay, so just for myself, one second.

Gamemaster:Let's get rid of...

Gamemaster:this encounter go away.

Benny:Benny's fast enough.

Gamemaster:Let's create a new encounter.

Benny:Hopefully.

Gamemaster:And I'm going to, just for the moment, we're all going to be added to another encounter with one of these Ifrits, the one that heard you.

Johnny:I like this new effect.

Gamemaster:You guys can, if you like, either roll perception or stealth for this particular initiative.

Johnny:Oh my god, the effort rolled so well.

Gamemaster:Ifrit did roll very well.

Argyle:That's fine.

Argyle:That means it's just going to walk into the bomb.

Johnny:We all gotta run though.

Benny:But Benny's still there.

Argyle:Alessia immediately is like, the blue wire!

Gamemaster:Argyle, did you roll?

Argyle:Cut it!

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:Argyle rolled a 34, which actually places you at the same initiative as the Ifrit.

Gamemaster:So it's your choice.

Argyle:I assume it has higher dex, though.

Gamemaster:Do you want to go first?

Gamemaster:I'm just going to let you choose.

Gamemaster:Do you want to go first or last?

Argyle:I'll go after it.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:It is going to spend one action.

Johnny:It walks out, we're all just there like...

Gamemaster:Walk up to the door.

Gamemaster:It's going to see you through the doorway.

Gamemaster:Does it actually have... It does have reach, 10 feet.

Benny:wait how is it seeing me through the doorway oh right right right

Gamemaster:It's like plastic curtain.

Gamemaster:We've been over this.

Gamemaster:There's no actual door.

Gamemaster:It's just a doorway.

Gamemaster:So it like looks over to investigate.

Gamemaster:It rounds the corner.

Gamemaster:It sees you like kind of pressed up against the wall where you were putting the bomb.

Gamemaster:It sees you.

Gamemaster:It turns around and it calls out to its friends.

Gamemaster:I found why the thing is breaking.

Gamemaster:And then it's going to spend its third action to attack you once.

Gamemaster:Because you're here and it's going to go for you.

Gamemaster:It's going to make a strike with its scimitar.

Benny:It really better.

Argyle:This is why I went second.

Anzu:you

Gamemaster:That is a hit.

Johnny:All my actions are talking.

Argyle:I figured I couldn't stop it, but I might be able to counteract something that it does.

Gamemaster:We're going to do 21 points.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:I said third action.

Gamemaster:I meant second action.

Gamemaster:It used one to walk.

Gamemaster:It used one to eat you at the scimitar.

Argyle:It didn't talk.

Argyle:The talk was free.

Gamemaster:Talking is free.

Gamemaster:I let you guys talk for free.

Gamemaster:I'm not going to make this one spend an action to talk.

Argyle:It's not as smart as us.

Johnny:That's all my actions are.

Benny:It's okay.

Gamemaster:Yeah, but your talking does things.

Gamemaster:Your talking's magical.

Argyle:Yeah, it's doing things too.

Argyle:The other things get to... But he's a kid.

Johnny:Yeah, it just set all its friends on us.

Gamemaster:Uh, it's going to attempt to grab you.

Gamemaster:Um...

Johnny:Oh, no.

Anzu:That's bad.

Argyle:You're going to attack a real kid?

Johnny:You're gonna take a child?

Gamemaster:Yeah, there is a kid on this staircase in this underground super base standing next to a three-foot-tall artillery shell.

Argyle:Maybe he used one action to just be like, what's going on here?

Gamemaster:No, absolutely not.

Johnny:That's amazing.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:It's making an athletics check against your fortitude, DC.

Anzu:I think it had to use this action.

Argyle:Oh, yes.

Argyle:It did.

Gamemaster:Does it actually have to do that?

Gamemaster:I think you're correct.

Argyle:Yes.

Gamemaster:Because he is hidden.

Argyle:Yes.

Gamemaster:A creature is undetected by one or more of your allies, but isn't undetected by you.

Argyle:Yeah!

Gamemaster:That's a crazy pull!

Argyle:Fucking Paizo!

Gamemaster:He does have to spend an action to point out that he is no longer hidden to any of his friends, but he doesn't have the action to attempt to grapple.

Argyle:How did you find that?

Johnny:Where?

Argyle:Tanner, how did you find this?

Gamemaster:Which is crazy.

Argyle:Did you do a search point?

Anzu:No, it's actually in the extras tab.

Gamemaster:So, just because I want to check, because I'm curious, this was its grab roll.

Gamemaster:A 32, which would have grabbed Benny.

Argyle:Oof.

Benny:Mm-hmm.

Argyle:That would have been bad.

Gamemaster:Okay, he pointed it out.

Johnny:We just gotta run.

Gamemaster:Argyle, it's your turn.

Gamemaster:For the sake, I don't actually think it's very visible on this map, so we're just going to say that the door is right here.

Argyle:Wait, where?

Johnny:We just gotta run.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:Yeah, I'm going to run.

Gamemaster:There Okay

Argyle:But before I go...

Argyle:sorry no i can't i don't reach him so i undo that well uh okay i guess i i'm godspeed so i will i will come over here first uh yeah yeah so yeah

Johnny:Yes.

Benny:It's also fine.

Benny:The only thing we need is Anzu to pop the bomb.

Benny:Anzu goes before me.

Anzu:I'll just defer to after you.

Benny:Anzu, you want to move an initiative?

Anzu:Yeah.

Benny:Okay.

Gamemaster:No!

Gamemaster:Do it now!

Anzu:Benny, I have to blow up the bomb.

Gamemaster:This thing that I have placed is the radius of the explosion, just so that we're clear on that.

Argyle:That's for you.

Benny:This is for... I didn't do it!

Benny:I am one hit point from Max.

Argyle:This is for my daughter!

Argyle:Okay, great.

Johnny:Oh, cool.

Argyle:So, one action.

Benny:Hmm.

Argyle:Two actions.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:So this is my third action, and then I'll use my fourth action to just keep going with godspeed.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Did you have enough movement to get through the door, or is that the end of your movement at the door?

Argyle:I had enough movement.

Gamemaster:Okay, so we're gonna... We're gonna remove you from the map, then.

Argyle:I currently have Godspeed, so I have 35.

Argyle:Ooh, he made me invisible.

Gamemaster:Or, we won't actually remove you, because I don't know what that does to your view.

Gamemaster:But we'll move you over there.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Johnny.

Johnny:I'm just going to go, I hate the sewers.

Johnny:I'm running out of here.

Benny:So.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Johnny:Which I believe, because I have a drum of War, which gives me five extra feet.

Argyle:She just kills Benny.

Johnny:Makes me.

Anzu:Screw it.

Gamemaster:He has the option.

Argyle:Wait, where's Benny?

Argyle:Where's Benny?

Johnny:One action.

Gamemaster:Somebody had to sacrifice themselves.

Johnny:Two actions.

Johnny:I'm out the door.

Johnny:I'm gone.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Oh, it's because it's an ifrit.

Gamemaster:Anzu, you're deferring your turn until after Benny.

Gamemaster:You don't have to if you don't want to.

Anzu:No, I'm gonna.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:I'm afraid I'm gonna die.

Argyle:No.

Gamemaster:Benny, it's your turn.

Benny:Benny will say to the Ifrit, be very careful what you wish for, and then run out.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Johnny:It's related to a djinn.

Argyle:Are you going to step or are you going to run?

Johnny:That's funny.

Benny:Yeah.

Johnny:Good.

Benny:I mean, Benny can... Oh, that's a good point.

Benny:I'll step, and then I have 70 feet of movement left.

Gamemaster:That's a good call out because he was about to reactive strike.

Benny:Listen,

Benny:You have no idea how tempted Benny is.

Argyle:Argyle said this before leaving.

Argyle:He was like, step out of there.

Anzu:Now, we did... No.

Benny:You have no idea how tempting it is for Benny to see.

Benny:If Benny lands one crit, whole fight turns and we can probably take him.

Benny:But Benny's not going to do that.

Argyle:No, no, I don't think so.

Argyle:I don't think so.

Anzu:Didn't we discover that the crits on the reactive strike don't cancel move actions?

Gamemaster:No, they don't cancel... Oh, actually, you're right.

Anzu:Only manipulates?

Argyle:Some of them.

Gamemaster:I don't think it would have canceled the move.

Argyle:Yeah, but it still could have killed him.

Gamemaster:One second.

Argyle:We don't know how hard they hit.

Anzu:No, I know.

Anzu:I'm just saying for future reference.

Gamemaster:That is also possible.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Yeah, it cancels manipulate actions.

Johnny:Never fails.

Gamemaster:It doesn't cancel move actions.

Argyle:Let's do your Thalmaturge.

Gamemaster:So he would have still been able to run away if he were still standing.

Gamemaster:But who knows?

Gamemaster:Okay, so Benny also makes it out.

Gamemaster:Onto It's Just You.

Anzu:All right.

Anzu:I run up to the bomb and hit it with my beak.

Anzu:I'll cast a telekinetic projectile at the bomb.

Anzu:Flourish cast one action.

Gamemaster:Okay, we're gonna use this fire wisp as a stand-in for the bomb.

Anzu:It would kind of suck if I missed, huh?

Gamemaster:Yeah, it would.

Anzu:Does it have a low AC because it's unmoving?

Gamemaster:Physical objects have an AC of 10, so long as they're within your range.

Argyle:Just don't roll a one, hopefully.

Argyle:Oh my goodness, that got scared for a second.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Gamemaster:Roll damage for me to see if you actually set this bomb off.

Johnny:Oh my gosh.

Anzu:It would have been piercing.

Anzu:I don't know what I clicked, but it would have been piercing.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Gamemaster:17 points of damage is enough.

Gamemaster:You unleash a telekinetic projectile at this unattended 400-year-old artillery shell that's just been propped up against a wall next to this person.

Gamemaster:You're in an enclosed space, the four of you, so there is an exceptionally loud bang.

Gamemaster:as this artillery shell is set off by the projectile piercing into the interior of the bomb.

Gamemaster:One second.

Argyle:I'm surprising to get to the door first on Zoom.

Anzu:I take care of business first.

Argyle:Someone had to make the hero play.

Johnny:Oh, a lot of...

Argyle:Oh.

Gamemaster:I rolled a bunch of ones on that.

Gamemaster:33 points of damage.

Gamemaster:Doubled, of course, because it's attacking a structure.

Gamemaster:And you do indeed cave in this part of the hallway, because that's what this thing was designed to do.

Gamemaster:It's designed to blow up interiors.

Gamemaster:The Ifrit itself is actually completely unharmed from the bomb.

Gamemaster:but they are pushed back from the blast.

Gamemaster:As the thing collapses inward, it hasn't fully blocked off this hallway.

Gamemaster:You've definitely knocked out a bunch of rubble that will be difficult for them to get through, but you give them a little bit of time and they will be able to get through it.

Gamemaster:Maybe more concerningly is the fact that there are a number of pipes in the walls that you blew up that are now leaking this bright blue glowing liquid onto the floor.

Gamemaster:And it's moving at a pretty fast rate.

Gamemaster:There's really high pressure in these pipes right now for some reason.

Gamemaster:And so it is shooting out like a jet and starting to flood both where you are and on the other side of the rubble in the area where they are.

Gamemaster:Just, you know, as a point of order.

Gamemaster:Anzu, you still have two actions left.

Gamemaster:I assume you're leaving the room?

Argyle:Is this divine or emotional?

Anzu:I run.

Anzu:It's 25 to the door and then another 25 on the other side.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Great.

Gamemaster:I do need all of you to do me a favor and make a reflex save, please.

Benny:Stonics in this world?

Johnny:He's coming for us.

Anzu:Bad, bad, bad.

Gamemaster:No, it is Sonic.

Benny:Ah!

Argyle:I'm going to reroll.

Gamemaster:It's Sonic the Hedgehog.

Gamemaster:He's come out of the explosion and is trying to deafen you.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Everybody but Anzu succeeded.

Gamemaster:Anzu, you're deafened.

Gamemaster:You were the closest in proximity to this bomb as it went off.

Gamemaster:And so you have been temporarily deafened by the sound of the explosion popping your eardrums.

Gamemaster:That said, you can still run fine.

Johnny:you you

Gamemaster:So you do run out of the room that you're currently in and back into that main area.

Gamemaster:More gravitational waves pass through.

Gamemaster:They're coming even more frequently than they were before.

Gamemaster:Before it was once every six seconds.

Gamemaster:Now maybe it's once every three.

Gamemaster:It's increasing in speed.

Argyle:We're just running.

Gamemaster:When you say run, are you running, like, at this point, from where you are, the three exits are back down the hallway.

Gamemaster:Back in the area where you just blew up the area or straight into the royal sewers.

Argyle:Sewage.

Gamemaster:So you're into the sewage.

Argyle:The sewage.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:You don't need an additional fortitude save because you've already been exposed to the sewage stench.

Gamemaster:So you all can start running.

Gamemaster:Are you doing this stealthily?

Johnny:Nope.

Argyle:No.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:I just had to ask.

Gamemaster:Can I get a perception check as you guys are running off?

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:That'll do.

Argyle:Move.

Gamemaster:30's fine.

Gamemaster:Two things of note.

Gamemaster:One, you set off one explosive.

Gamemaster:On this side of the fracture, at least.

Gamemaster:You're still hearing explosions.

Gamemaster:With a 30, they're not coming from the direction that you blew up, actually.

Gamemaster:If anything...

Gamemaster:It seems now that the pressure has had a place to release in these pipes, you have caused some compound breakages further up the hallway.

Argyle:Oh no, shock.

Gamemaster:So you are hearing the sound of pipes bursting and some of the support pillars collapsing in the hallway behind you, especially as gravitational waves coming out of that fracture continue pushing out.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:Also, all of these pipes bursting, there are little rivers of this blue glowing liquid pouring out of the pipes, making their way down past that shrine of that large figure that you had seen earlier, and depositing into the sewers.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:And there's a very, it's interesting, it doesn't quite mix correctly, but now there's like an oil sheen of light blue liquid collecting on top of the sewage and kind of working its way, slower than you're moving, certainly, but into the sewers behind you.

Gamemaster:You guys continue to run further into the sewers.

Benny:Do we want to take a sample?

Anzu:Perfect time to leave the city.

Argyle:that's crazy all right yeah

Benny:Yep.

Benny:That's true.

Johnny:Probably.

Benny:Do we want to take a sample?

Benny:Just scoop him up.

Johnny:Let's do it.

Johnny:I don't have a test.

Benny:Put it in a bottle.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:If you wanna... I will, like, it's not crazy to imagine that you guys have empty vials on you on hand.

Gamemaster:That's an adventure thing.

Gamemaster:What I am going to require is probably a thievery check to collect the liquid without either collecting some of the sewage alongside it or touching the liquid itself with your hands, which I assume you're trying to avoid.

Benny:Yes.

Benny:Where there's debris.

Gamemaster:23 is enough.

Benny:Respectable.

Gamemaster:You can take a vial, bottle just a little bit, like one vial's worth of that light blue glowing liquid, and cork it.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:You guys start running further down the sewers.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:You have made more than enough chaos to give yourselves a healthy head start on anybody that might want to come follow you.

Gamemaster:So you start running.

Gamemaster:It's not particularly fast going, but it's much faster than it was getting here because you're not being quiet anymore.

Gamemaster:You're just running away.

Gamemaster:The gravitational waves continue following through until about 10 minutes into your run.

Gamemaster:I'm going to need reflex saves as there is the sound of a massive explosion from behind you and one final shockwave.

Argyle:Oh, no.

Gamemaster:comes rattling down the hallway in your direction.

Gamemaster:Reflex.

Anzu:What kind of save are we making?

Johnny:Oh no.

Argyle:I've rolled three twos in a row.

Johnny:Better.

Argyle:Oh, it should be three higher than that, but still.

Argyle:Still fail, but 19, not 16.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:Am I still deafened?

Anzu:Okay.

Gamemaster:Um, yeah, it's only been, like, five minutes.

Gamemaster:Your eardrum's popped.

Gamemaster:You're gonna be deafened probably until you get out of the sewers and have a chance to, like, heal and recover that in some fashion.

Anzu:Anzu is just running, like, fairly.

Anzu:Like, if they slowed down to take the sample, like, Anzu, like, gained ground, like...

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Okay, so it looks like the... Oh, Benny and Johnny succeeded.

Gamemaster:Oh, I lied.

Gamemaster:I was reading the theater check.

Gamemaster:Just Johnny succeeded.

Gamemaster:The other three failed.

Gamemaster:There is this burst of shockwave coming from behind you, bringing with it a tidal wave of sewage and this light blue glowing liquid up the tunnel of the sewer in your direction.

Johnny:you you

Anzu:you

Gamemaster:Excuse me.

Gamemaster:Johnny manages to duck into, like, an alcove, and he only gets hit with the force of the tidal wave as it passes by.

Gamemaster:The remaining three of you are impacted by this tidal wave and slammed against the walls of the sewer as it comes by.

Argyle:you

Gamemaster:So you're going to take some damage.

Gamemaster:Johnny, you're going to take half this because you succeeded.

Johnny:Oh my gosh.

Benny:Oh, goodness.

Gamemaster:29 points of bludgeoning damage as this shockwave pulls through.

Gamemaster:And then past that shockwave, as it passes, you hear the sounds of a collapsing tunnel as the area behind you fully caves in from the pressure of this shockwave.

Argyle:Is there any ladders to get up?

Gamemaster:Not where you are right now.

Gamemaster:You have to run a little bit further.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:You have to, like, get out of this part of the sewers.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:Sounds good.

Gamemaster:That said, you're definitely not worried about anything following you at this point, given that the area behind you is completely collapsed.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:But the danger, it feels, has passed.

Gamemaster:At least a little bit.

Gamemaster:So you guys can find the nearest exit to the sewers and...

Johnny:I press the station, everyone.

Argyle:Johnny, clean me up.

Johnny:I hate the sewers.

Johnny:We should get out of town.

Johnny:Great job.

Johnny:High fives all around.

Johnny:We're all beaten.

Benny:What does it look like?

Gamemaster:You all get yourselves cleaned up and then can emerge out into the Masque District that's south of Teller's Run.

Argyle:That is right.

Johnny:We're all so beaten up.

Argyle:Benny's high-fiving up.

Benny:Door perceivers.

Gamemaster:Roll a perception check.

Argyle:Yeah, roll one.

Johnny:Oh, nothing.

Benny:It'll be.

Benny:I'm not in school

Johnny:I'm too busy puking.

Johnny:I'm puking in the side.

Johnny:I hate the sewers.

Gamemaster:Honestly, even if you're puking, this is not hard to miss.

Gamemaster:You have to kind of position yourself a little bit.

Gamemaster:The street that you actually ended up on is sided on both sides by relatively tall buildings, like eight or ten stories around here, so you don't have a clear view north of Teller's Run, but you move just a little bit forward.

Argyle:All right.

Gamemaster:People, by the way, are yelling, screaming, and running south of where you currently are as you emerge from the sewers.

Gamemaster:No one pays attention to the random people that just walked out of a, like, from underneath a manhole cover.

Gamemaster:The sky above you...

Gamemaster:is covered in this dark cloud that you realize is ash that has been launched into the sky.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:As you round the corner so that you get a view past the buildings of Teller's Run itself, the fire cordon is still there.

Gamemaster:There is this, like, 20-foot-tall wall of fire, like, three blocks north of where you are that still covers that area.

Gamemaster:but you look just slightly beyond that into what looks like eyeballing with your 28, the north side of Teller's Run, the opposite side of where you are.

Gamemaster:There is a massive mushroom-shaped cloud extending like north up above that northernmost part of Teller's Run, starting to expand outward and blanket this part of the town in a cloud of ash as whatever thing you blew up,

Gamemaster:blew up quite destructively.

Gamemaster:Absolutely, you can do that.

Argyle:Our guy's going to click his pen and just start describing the scene.

Johnny:Johnny's gonna take his little chess piece and go, hey, Red, the bomb worked really well.

Argyle:Is anyone here around us like any civilians injured?

Gamemaster:No, it looks like... So, the fracture, the thing that you actually blew up, is at the northernmost part of Teller's Run.

Gamemaster:So, you got lucky, I suppose, in that the explosion was contained to Teller's Run.

Gamemaster:That hallway ran the length of Teller's Run, but it didn't extend further down into this area, because it has to be within the fire cordon.

Argyle:Dope.

Gamemaster:So people are looking shocked.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:There's, like, ash coming down from the sky that's collecting on people.

Gamemaster:You see people, like, coughing as it might get into their lungs or something like that.

Gamemaster:But it doesn't look like the actual force of the explosion.

Gamemaster:The shockwave was mostly contained underground.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:You've definitely collapsed whatever remaining infrastructure Teller's Run had, which isn't much.

Gamemaster:But this part of the sewers, whatever, that you emerge from wasn't necessarily affected.

Argyle:How's the building?

Gamemaster:The skyscraper is unharmed.

Gamemaster:There is a very slight sheen of some kind of energy wrapped around the entirety of the one skyscraper in Teller's Run.

Argyle:That bitch.

Gamemaster:As you can see, little bits of ash float 20 to 30 feet out from the skyscraper, and then there's a soft flash of light, and the ash never makes it closer.

Gamemaster:uninjured.

Argyle:I'm going to start instructing people around us to cover their mouths as we leave.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Argyle:Head back to our headquarters.

Gamemaster:Interestingly enough, there are already a handful of people around, especially in this area, that do have this velvet covering over their mouths, so they're totally fine.

Gamemaster:But the remaining civilians, you can help direct them to pull something in front.

Argyle:All right, let's head back, boys.

Johnny:Okay.

Benny:Yeah, we'll head back.

Gamemaster:And you guys can just make your way back.

Gamemaster:It is a little bit of a zoo getting on a tram finding your way back because you are not the only people trying to leave this area.

Gamemaster:But nobody's stopping people from leaving at this point.

Gamemaster:They haven't sealed off the area.

Gamemaster:It seems the bad bits of the explosion were in an area where...

Gamemaster:like people already don't go in their day to day.

Gamemaster:Um, so you all can take the tram and make your way back to the sin and tonic.

Johnny:We just all ride the train in silence.

Benny:Eventful day.

Johnny:Just like side by side, staring straight ahead.

Johnny:Nobody says a word.

Johnny:Johnny just takes his sunglasses, puts them up, puts them back down.

Argyle:Argyle's smoking a cigarette and asking gestures if anyone wants one.

Benny:Benny, Benny, I'll reach.

Gamemaster:Doesn't want the frankincense?

Benny:And they come now.

Argyle:As Benny reaches, Argyle's going to go, you're a child.

Benny:You offer.

Benny:Having a full conversation in sign language and silence.

Gamemaster:And it's frankincense and myrrh.

Johnny:A solid gold cigarette, would that work?

Gamemaster:Children can smoke that.

Benny:What the fuck?

Argyle:That could work.

Argyle:When we get back to the Sin and Tonic, could we make a phone call?

Gamemaster:When you guys walk in, Ginny will say, did you guys hear that explosion?

Johnny:No.

Benny:Oh.

Johnny:We were playing cards.

Johnny:What was the explosion?

Gamemaster:I don't know.

Gamemaster:I can't leave this tavern.

Gamemaster:I just heard an explosion.

Gamemaster:I was hoping you would have more info.

Gamemaster:Yeah, phone's in the back.

Argyle:All right.

Argyle:Anyone want to come with me?

Johnny:Yep.

Benny:Sir.

Argyle:I walk over.

Argyle:I dial the number for the day.

Gamemaster:Okay, yeah, you can...

Gamemaster:One ring.

Gamemaster:And then she picks up on the other end.

Gamemaster:I know for a fact that the shell I gave you is not that powerful.

Argyle:Did you get the readings from the beacon?

Gamemaster:Yes.

Gamemaster:Which is why I'm also pretty sure that you were the one that caused the explosion.

Argyle:Do you want the real answer, or do you... I just look at the compatriots.

Gamemaster:Is there stuff for us to get now?

Gamemaster:Like, is it worth me still dispatching people to head down there?

Argyle:Maybe to the other world?

Argyle:You have it.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:The reason I ask is, like, I don't have a count, because that's not really how it works.

Gamemaster:I just kind of get a direction and an intensity.

Gamemaster:I just know that wherever you guys were for a brief second, when you lit that beacon, you were very, very, very far starward.

Gamemaster:Uh, so that is a trick.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:If you think it's useful for me to send people over there, I will do it.

Gamemaster:Uh, honestly, like this is a big discovery anyway.

Gamemaster:It's just, this is me picking out two or three people who will be out of commission for like six months probably.

Gamemaster:Cause they have to take it the slow way.

Benny:Benny will motion to our guy and be like, there's a Giant.

Benny:I don't know if they want to send people.

Argyle:Yeah, there's still a Giant on the other side.

Johnny:me oh

Argyle:Oh, did we not know what was on the other side of that?

Gamemaster:No, you had originally mentioned it in your first call.

Argyle:Oh, yeah.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Do you think you broke the barrier with the bomb?

Gamemaster:With the artillery shell?

Benny:Well.

Argyle:I don't think so.

Argyle:Also, we used a secondary bomb.

Gamemaster:Oh, that wasn't even... Do you still have the shell?

Gamemaster:Can I put it back?

Argyle:No, we also use that on a group of fiends.

Gamemaster:You saw fiends?

Argyle:Yes.

Gamemaster:Roll a religion check.

Argyle:Rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle.

Anzu:Not sure we did.

Anzu:I don't know.

Argyle:I thought those things were fiends.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:I know.

Gamemaster:Roll a religion check.

Argyle:Yeah, I'm just trying to...

Anzu:I can't hear a damn thing you're saying.

Gamemaster:Or nature, if you'd rather do nature.

Gamemaster:At this point, once you make it back into the Sin and Tonic, I will say that you can sit down and cast the spells required to repair your eardrums on Zuu.

Benny:you you

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:Okay, so it's one... Okay, sorry.

Argyle:Let me just... I have to find my checks.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:Religion, letters of religion, recall knowledge.

Argyle:All right.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you saw fiends.

Argyle:I'll describe what they look like and say, yeah.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Dame Quay will say, if you say they're fiends, I trust you.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:You're more equipped than most people to know what a fiend looks like.

Gamemaster:All right.

Gamemaster:Maybe we'll sit on it.

Johnny:you you

Gamemaster:We'll see if the beacon stays active for a little bit.

Gamemaster:Because if it doesn't, it means that nobody finds it.

Gamemaster:And then maybe it's safe to send people out.

Gamemaster:Good work, though.

Gamemaster:As far as explosions that shape the face of the planet go, this is a near sight better than the last one.

Argyle:Good.

Gamemaster:Crisis averted, I suppose.

Gamemaster:Is that premature?

Argyle:I'm not sure.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you would say that.

Gamemaster:We're going to celebrate.

Gamemaster:We'll send somebody over to check out the sewage area that you guys escaped out of, just to see what's going on there, since you're going on your pilgrimage soon, right?

Johnny:you

Argyle:Yes.

Benny:hmm you

Argyle:And I relay the updates about what we learned about the Pilgrim Ridge.

Gamemaster:Fine.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:That is good to know.

Gamemaster:Good to know.

Gamemaster:I mean, obviously you're going to be there, so you'll be on top of it, and I imagine at some point you'll find your better half, and then I really won't have to worry about any of this.

Argyle:Do I have a binding ritual to bind back?

Johnny:Bird kid.

Argyle:Should we use the other one?

Gamemaster:I mean...

Argyle:Or would that not work?

Gamemaster:Listen, I think you're going to have to play it by ear.

Gamemaster:I don't think you're going to be able to use the old one because you guys separated on not great terms.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:I think you're just going to have to figure it out.

Gamemaster:You got smart people with you, right?

Gamemaster:You got that bird kid.

Gamemaster:I'm sure he could figure something out.

Benny:mixing us up.

Argyle:Report.

Argyle:Report concluded.

Argyle:Tell my grandmother I said hi.

Argyle:And tell Uncle Flintlock I'm still alive so he can get his hands off my shit.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Oh, actually, I do have... He'll be very sad to hear about that.

Gamemaster:He did tell me to tell you if I caught you before you went that if you meet his cousin out there to let him know that you're friends with Flintlock and he might be able to help you out.

Argyle:What's his cousin?

Gamemaster:So just, you know, some... Lemon pepper?

Argyle:Great.

Gamemaster:If you see a demon named Lemon Pepper, let him know that you're friends with Flintlock.

Argyle:Sounds good.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Argyle:I say that into my pen.

Argyle:We are friends with lemon pepper.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Other than that, you've really moved up in my approximations in the last, like, six hours.

Gamemaster:So good on you for that.

Gamemaster:I am still waiting for you to be, like, you know, all the way there.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:But you're doing a good job.

Gamemaster:I think it's good for, like, I've been... I'm supposed to encourage you, I think.

Argyle:to bomb more things sounds good more bombs are always appreciated

Gamemaster:No, not there.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Just to successfully take down world-ending threats and the like.

Gamemaster:This is a win.

Gamemaster:This is something that if you were part of the correctful hierarchy, you'd definitely get a commendation for this.

Gamemaster:Since I can't arrange that for you, the best I got for you is a good job, champ.

Gamemaster:It's a good job, champ.

Gamemaster:Listen, I already, like, I misappropriated a national relic for you.

Gamemaster:I'm not going to do that.

Gamemaster:I'm not going to be able to do that a second time.

Gamemaster:Listen, I'm just happy that at least when somebody comes knocking and asks where it went in 40 years, I'm going to have a good thing to point to as to what it was used for.

Gamemaster:Because if I had to say, yeah, it went missing in the sewers, that would look, like, really bad.

Gamemaster:At least this way I can get away with it.

Gamemaster:You know.

Argyle:Fair enough.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:Goodbye.

Gamemaster:Bye.

Gamemaster:And she'll hang up the phone.

Argyle:My uncle told us.

Gamemaster:Anzu... Sorry, you go first.

Argyle:Wait.

Argyle:Oh, you're on the phone.

Argyle:Never mind.

Argyle:You heard.

Gamemaster:Anzu, your... I think your sleeve is blinking.

Anzu:My sleeve is blinking.

Johnny:you you

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Anzu:I guess I'll bring out the thing, the keystone.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Anzu:The only blinkable item in there.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you bring out the keystone and the box that the keystone is inside is glowing and then fading in this like breathing motion of this soft blue glow.

Anzu:I guess this means it's almost time to go.

Benny:Sure.

Benny:I'll buy that.

Johnny:Yeah, let the.

Argyle:Before we make our journey, I just want to clock now.

Argyle:I'm trading my gold for alchemical supplies.

Argyle:I think I already said this, but I just want to double check.

Argyle:Just because I can now make potions.

Johnny:Oh.

Argyle:That's 362.

Anzu:There might even be a shop there.

Anzu:But good to do it now when it's safe.

Argyle:Maybe.

Anzu:I guess we'll leave in the morning.

Johnny:I mean, we got nothing.

Argyle:That's it?

Argyle:You guys don't want to talk more about bombing a neighborhood?

Anzu:I'm absolutely rattled.

Johnny:It's a real long drive tomorrow.

Benny:What is there to...

Johnny:I thought we can kind of discuss it.

Johnny:We're going to want to give a nine and knock the whole replay, too.

Argyle:Oh, yeah.

Argyle:And I'm going to go over... Our guy's going to go over to Anzu and just gently tap both of his ears.

Argyle:And then you send some healing magic that way as well.

Argyle:I know you cleared him out, but it'll be... Oh, she wouldn't care about that.

Johnny:Thank you.

Anzu:Thanks.

Anzu:Listen, don't tell your boss, but I think that probably that whole place would have come down without using the shell.

Argyle:She'd prefer to not know that.

Anzu:Yeah.

Argyle:She's not very orthodox.

Argyle:She breaks a lot of rules.

Argyle:I'm not really sure how she got to that high rank.

Benny:you

Anzu:It does make you think, huh?

Johnny:Okay.

Argyle:It does.

Argyle:Touch it.

Gamemaster:The keystone box is still blinking.

Anzu:I mean, oh, sure, I'll open it.

Anzu:I guess I should have said that.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:You open it, and as you do, the keystone floats about half an inch off the bottom of the box, and you hear a voice that you had heard once before come out of it.

Gamemaster:This is the voice of that masked Harlequin figure that had originally greeted everybody at the...

Benny:you

Gamemaster:at the party that you had taken the invitation to and had given the original quest to receive the keystones.

Gamemaster:You hear the voice come through the crystal that says, Hello, pilgrims!

Gamemaster:It seems some exciting things are happening right now in Hallia.

Gamemaster:I hope none of you are getting too excited about this search, although I am pleased to say that all 19 keystones are safely locked away in one place or another now.

Gamemaster:We're approaching a week out from our departure, so now's the last time to make any preparations you might need.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:And I expect to see all of you here, in the same location we originally departed from six months ago, at 9am, exactly one week from today.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:I will warn you, I am going to send a reminder that this is happening to everyone who was originally invited, so I would watch out for some festivities on the road going ahead, but I trust if you're holding on to the keystone now, you can absolutely hang on to it for another week or so.

Gamemaster:Excited to see all of you.

Gamemaster:And then the crystal blinks out and drops back into the box.

Argyle:We have a lead box for this, right?

Gamemaster:Yeah, you were keeping it in a lead box in the armory with Elias for a few minutes when you went to rapid connection.

Johnny:Not a bad idea.

Gamemaster:I don't know if you were keeping it in the lead box in the sleeve, so we can say you were.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Gamemaster:It wouldn't have meaningfully affected anything.

Argyle:Yeah, just double checking that we have a lead box for it.

Benny:you

Argyle:Should we go out there early and just camp there?

Johnny:We might want to get out of town.

Anzu:There's also a cool spell that might be helpful.

Johnny:I mean that...

Johnny:I'm more worried that that one person saw Benny and we're the only adventuring group with a nine-year-old.

Gamemaster:A nine-year-old is not as memorable as a polar bear, but it's definitely up there in terms of recognizable members of an adventuring group.

Benny:Benny will say, Benny will say, well, I guess now's a good time to show off this.

Argyle:Especially when he went around consulting.

Gamemaster:That's true.

Gamemaster:He was a security consultant for a little bit.

Argyle:If they ask you out about him, they're like, oh, Benny?

Anzu:Thank you.

Benny:And Benny will stretch upwards and he'll be like, I'm just fucking with you guys.

Benny:I'm still this size.

Gamemaster:It would be...

Johnny:I've known Mike for a long time.

Johnny:I feel like I've never been got harder by a bit than that one.

Johnny:I was like, oh my God, what's going to happen?

Benny:No, Benny's a nine-year-old dude.

Argyle:Should we get Anouk and Anaya and just leave?

Benny:Are they here to leave?

Gamemaster:You can look around the Sin and Tonic to grab them.

Gamemaster:Although I will say, maybe we should just leave this for next session.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Because it is 11 o'clock.

Johnny:I can't remember who it was.

Argyle:We all know who they were from first campaign, right?

Argyle:Or do we have theories?

Anzu:Campaign one?

Anzu:Nah, they weren't there.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:I think they were in campaign law.

Anzu:Or maybe they were the twin plumbers.

Argyle:I have a theory they were the children that we saved from the lords that were evil that were going to kill Waterdeep.

Johnny:Oh, you think they were the cast?

Johnny:You think they're the Castellaner kids?

Benny:That would be crazy.

Argyle:Maybe.

Argyle:Josh left.

Argyle:That means they are.

Johnny:Wow.

Johnny:That would be a really good poll.

Gamemaster:Yeah, Mario and Luigi.

Johnny:Wow, I fully forgot about those twins.

Argyle:Oh, yeah.

Benny:What other duos do we know of?

Argyle:No, no, those guys were evil.

Argyle:They wouldn't be helping us out.

Gamemaster:The plumbers were evil, but the castle entry kids, those were, they were fine.

Johnny:That was a good poll.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:That's the only twins I could think of.

Benny:It had to have been a duo that helped us.

Argyle:Or they were young that we helped them.

Johnny:it's come full circle yeah what other twins do we run into yeah this this wasn't really

Benny:Maybe they were in the hospital that we bombed.

Argyle:That's crazy if they're the Castellaner twins.

Argyle:They're really old.

Argyle:Did we?

Anzu:Man, we're always bombing stuff, huh?

Benny:They were in the maternity ward or whatever.

Gamemaster:You are always bombing stuff.

Gamemaster:And for the record, I didn't set you up to bomb this place.

Gamemaster:You guys went out of your way to request multiple bombs from your backstories.

Gamemaster:I did not say, oh, look, you could bomb this location.

Benny:I don't think any of us... Yeah.

Johnny:And it worked.

Anzu:Yeah, but I feel like...

Johnny:Yes.

Argyle:Do we bomb anything in campaign two?

Gamemaster:Yes.

Gamemaster:First you bombed the Soul Cage, the dance hall with the succubus, and then afterwards you bombed the entrance into the government so that you could seal some stuff in there, including the K-Dorm.

Anzu:Oh my god.

Anzu:Listen, it can be effective in certain scenarios.

Gamemaster:You guys have... You bombed a hospital in campaign one.

Argyle:Did...

Gamemaster:You bombed a club, a nightclub, in campaign two.

Gamemaster:And now you've upgraded to bombing just a whole neighborhood in campaign three.

Gamemaster:So you're saying there's two more important bombings that you have to do?

Benny:Wait, that means, so campaign one, we had one important bombing.

Benny:Campaign two, we had two important bombings.

Benny:We have two more.

Benny:We have two more important bombings.

Anzu:I mean, we're only level six, so there's plenty of time.

Johnny:We've got to start something.

Benny:I also don't think any of us thought blowing up the computer for the research...

Gamemaster:You're on good pace.

Benny:would somehow destabilize the magic liquid loop they had and increase the pressure and effectively explode the entire block's boilers in the ground.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:Well, I guess that's the safest place to put it.

Anzu:I mean...

Gamemaster:Sometimes when you blow up the control system for a Giant pneumatic system, it stops working.

Benny:They're like, I mean, some schmuck from the sewers can walk in here, but to go through the crack?

Benny:No one can do that.

Anzu:In terms of like...

Benny:Go ahead.

Gamemaster:Also, to clarify, you did bomb the other location the control system might be.

Argyle:I guess that is two bombs.

Gamemaster:Like, you got both spots.

Benny:No, no, but that was after we already knew that we fucked something hard.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I know, I know.

Gamemaster:I just, it's not even like, oh, we did one, oops.

Gamemaster:It was, we did one, oops.

Gamemaster:Let's go for two.

Argyle:No, I'm kidding.

Gamemaster:Hmm.

Gamemaster:It's one bombing.

Argyle:One bombing event.

Argyle:Yeah, yeah.

Anzu:Well, in terms of the whole through line of, oh, man, we're really worried about what these people are doing, but also we kind of need to leave the city.

Argyle:What were you going to say, Tanner?

Johnny:That worked really well.

Anzu:Like, we did pretty much as much damage as we could possibly do to their endeavors before leaving.

Gamemaster:Not a problem anymore.

Gamemaster:You really did.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:We almost did it fully unseen, too.

Johnny:At that last moment, someone saw Benny, but otherwise, we were almost out of there.

Argyle:Yeah, that was a big bomb.

Benny:There was so many funny things that Benny could have said at that moment.

Anzu:And who knows?

Gamemaster:There's one... Yeah.

Anzu:They might have gotten crushed.

Anzu:Maybe they didn't survive.

Argyle:Maybe they should survive that.

Benny:I liked what he decided to say, which was, be very careful what you wish for, and then ran away.

Benny:But he could have been like, where's my parents?

Benny:And then ran away.

Benny:Or like, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Benny:There was a nine-year-old in here speaking garbage that ran out and then a bomb blew up.

Anzu:Bomb voyage.

Gamemaster:I do... Oh, Bon Voyage, like The Incredibles.

Gamemaster:I do like the idea that Benny immediately recognized that that was a djinn, and then he heard Argyle report that it was a fiend to somebody else, and was just like, yeah, that's fine.

Johnny:Oh, no.

Gamemaster:That's his problem.

Gamemaster:I'm not involved in that.

Benny:Benny just knows that they bleed, that both of them bleed.

Argyle:the another

Gamemaster:It's true-ish.

Anzu:They killed my bird.

Anzu:Hard to say.

Gamemaster:I actually think it is immune to bleeding.

Johnny:Can you get him back?

Johnny:Did you get another bird?

Johnny:What happens?

Benny:He has to find one.

Gamemaster:There are rules for getting another Othello.

Benny:He has to go to the Othello store.

Gamemaster:It's not like a witch where it just spawns when you wake up, though, unfortunately.

Benny:There's like a bird store.

Benny:And he's like, all right, guys, I got to go run an errand.

Benny:We're like, we'll come with you.

Benny:We're not really doing much.

Benny:We're just waiting.

Benny:No, no, you really don't have to come with.

Benny:And he just goes to a store.

Argyle:Do we think the massive thing is Giant, or do we think it's a thing called Pyre?

Benny:And there's just walls of birds that look like Othello.

Benny:And he's like, one more?

Benny:It's just like, yeah, one more.

Benny:It's like, yeah, that went for a while.

Benny:It's just like, I know.

Benny:This handsome and new bird.

Johnny:He's like, yeah, this one's name is Hamlet.

Benny:I think it's Giant.

Argyle:Because it's really sad that all these Worshippers of Pyre are just hanging out with Giants.

Anzu:Yeah, it's hard to say.

Anzu:It's huge, which points to it being Giant.

Anzu:And its statue also depicted very small people, which points to it being Giant.

Anzu:And if they're all working together and he's the one that was able to show up...

Johnny:Could be Pyre.

Benny:And when asked its name, it said Giants.

Benny:I feel like... How slow would that be?

Gamemaster:Hello, I am Giant.

Argyle:It was red.

Argyle:It was Pyre.

Gamemaster:Nice to meet you.

Gamemaster:I would use telepathy.

Benny:Oh, God.

Argyle:That was a good session.

Johnny:Psychic crush.

Argyle:I will not be here next week.

Anzu:Oh, that's right.

Gamemaster:Shame.

Benny:One shot.

Johnny:Oh.

Argyle:Yeah, I gave you guys long heads up on this.

Gamemaster:One shot?

Anzu:You did.

Anzu:You totally did.

Benny:True.

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Do any of you have a one-shot you want to run, or am I taking it again?

Anzu:I can run a low level 5E one shot if we would like.

Gamemaster:I'm down.

Benny:Sure.

Argyle:Sure.

Anzu:OK.

Gamemaster:Cool beans.

Gamemaster:Listen, OrcPub or Dungeon Master's Vault or whatever the character builder thing is, they just updated.

Gamemaster:They're now using Java 21 on the backend.

Gamemaster:So I'm sure it'll be a buttery smooth process.

Johnny:Okay.

Anzu:Are they using the 2024 rules?

Anzu:That's great.

Gamemaster:I think they just updated to the 2024 rules.

Gamemaster:I'd have to double check that, but I'm pretty sure they... I know they updated the version of Java and Clojure they were using, but I think they also did move to the 2024 rules.

Anzu:Actually, I think I'm in their Discord.

Gamemaster:Also, it's absolutely crazy that anything is using Clojure.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:So, good for them.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Well, I guess the type of maniac that decides they're going to wrestle with that many nested JSONs probably thinks into Clojure.

Gamemaster:They don't use JSONs.

Gamemaster:They use the custom Orkbrew format, which I think is just a bunch of S expressions instead.

Anzu:Thank you.

Argyle:Oh, I meant that I figured that the original way they get the data is just a bunch of JSONs.

Gamemaster:No, it's manual.

Gamemaster:It's all manual.

Gamemaster:Somebody has to go into the books and type them up in the orc book format.

Argyle:I take it back.

Argyle:Only someone with that broken of a brain would be writing a closure.

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:People like closure.

Argyle:That's crazy.

Gamemaster:A person likes closure.

Argyle:Alright, well, this was fun.

Gamemaster:This was a good time.

Benny:Yes.

Gamemaster:I will see most of you next week.

Anzu:What's going on next week, Jorge?

Johnny:I'll have fun.

Argyle:We should probably get in.

Argyle:Going to Anguilla for the second half of the honeymoon.

Anzu:All right.

Anzu:Enjoy.

Argyle:Yeah, thank you.

Johnny:Happy second half year honeymoon.

Argyle:Thank you.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:Yes.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Don't bomb anything without me.

Argyle:And maybe we should get a bomb before we leave town.

Argyle:Just to have.

Gamemaster:Just have one on hand.

Johnny:Thank you.

Johnny:I'll see what I can do.

Gamemaster:It's true.

Anzu:You never know.

Benny:Might be a good idea.

Anzu:Benny and I haven't called on our bomb backstory plugs yet.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:This is true.

Anzu:I'm calling my grandma.

Argyle:Your backstory is going to be like, not enough.

Argyle:Not over there.

Johnny:You mean like a knowledge bomb?

Johnny:Like crazy information?

Gamemaster:Yeah, like a big book.

Argyle:It's a big grape.

Johnny:Hey, Grandma.

Gamemaster:Grandma can definitely get a bum.

Gamemaster:I don't know if grandma would give you a bum.

Anzu:Grandma would not give me a bomb.

Benny:Let me call my father.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:All right.

Anzu:Well, all right then.

Anzu:Good night, everybody.

Argyle:Adios.

Gamemaster:I'll see y'all.

Benny:Adios.