2025-11-11 — Akasha

Benny:tests.

Benny:But I'm gonna.

Gamemaster:Are you recording me right now?

Benny:now recording now recording i think i'm recording everyone all the time because i remember what happens

Gamemaster:Is that what's happening?

Gamemaster:I mean, like, that's fine.

Gamemaster:I don't mind if you record me.

Gamemaster:I just, I guess more generally, why would you?

Gamemaster:I don't understand.

Gamemaster:That's not recording.

Gamemaster:That's remembering.

Gamemaster:You're remembering everyone all the time.

Benny:So what is Craig doing?

Gamemaster:Craig is recording.

Benny:Now recording?

Benny:Before recording.

Gamemaster:Yeah, and before recording.

Benny:He's time traveling?

Gamemaster:He's both now recording and before recording.

Gamemaster:He can do both things.

Benny:Time traveling.

Gamemaster:Nope.

Argyle:Me?

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Well, Jorge is not traveling, but Craig isn't.

Gamemaster:He can't do that.

Gamemaster:I'm gonna fork the Craig source code just so I can have it say time traveling instead of now recording for you, Mike.

Argyle:Oops.

Johnny:Thank you.

Argyle:So is it going to say now recording for me?

Gamemaster:No, it'll say time traveling for everyone, but the reason I'm doing it is on Mike's behalf, for his benefit.

Benny:Both of my halves, actually.

Gamemaster:I said behalf.

Gamemaster:Only your behalf.

Benny:And the a half, too.

Gamemaster:The bit with the stinger and the pollen.

Argyle:Now, I don't think Noah had a haircut, but it's looking fresh, I will say.

Argyle:It's just, it looks trim.

Johnny:I did shave today.

Argyle:Did you shave recently or something?

Johnny:Unlike you guys, I can't grow a beard.

Argyle:Okay.

Johnny:And if I try, I just look dirty.

Gamemaster:Don't worry, I can't either.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:I'm just doing it anyway.

Johnny:It looks good.

Gamemaster:I liked Jorge hedging, just in case.

Gamemaster:He wasn't sure.

Argyle:I didn't think it was, but I didn't want it to be Jorge's haircut.

Argyle:Jorge is trying to get fake information.

Johnny:No, I have not gotten a haircut.

Gamemaster:As Jewish tradition.

Johnny:I'm just letting the top of my hair grow out, which means it just looks curlier every time I take a shower.

Benny:True.

Argyle:So I saw this.

Argyle:So we have a real estate agent in the area.

Argyle:She's pretty good.

Argyle:She alerted us of this house that was going on the market.

Argyle:It came on the market on Wednesday.

Argyle:We found out about it.

Argyle:They had a closed Realtors showing just for a few Realtors.

Argyle:And then we were one of the few people brought in.

Argyle:And then they had this open house on Sunday.

Argyle:Half the people couldn't make it to the open house.

Argyle:But they're like, we're just going to do offers now.

Argyle:So on Sunday, this house went on the sale on Wednesday.

Argyle:On Sunday, they already sold it.

Argyle:We put in an offer.

Argyle:We lost.

Argyle:Someone overbid the number by $100,000.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Wow.

Argyle:all in cash.

Argyle:And what's funny is the whole point of cash is you don't need to overbid.

Johnny:you

Argyle:But something about the people really, I guess, irked the selling agent.

Argyle:Because even the selling agent, she called our agent up.

Argyle:They're like, are you guys going to put an offer in?

Argyle:And they're like, yeah, please put an offer in.

Argyle:It wasn't an immediate thing.

Argyle:And then the seller agent was just like, we really liked you guys.

Argyle:Your offer was great.

Argyle:They just put a lot of money.

Gamemaster:A lot more, yeah.

Argyle:And then the seller's agent was actually just like, we actually really liked you guys.

Johnny:A hundred thousand in cash over asking means either they're just so dumb or they just have more money than you could beat.

Argyle:So I'm going to keep Anaïs out for you.

Argyle:And I'll let you know about listings before they're public that I have.

Argyle:And we're like, that's really nice of her.

Argyle:But it is just so funny.

Argyle:So we found out it was Trust Fund Kids.

Benny:Yep.

Gamemaster:I mean, it is also generally a seller's market right now and has been for a few years.

Argyle:No, but this amount of money shocked both realtors.

Argyle:So the seller's agent kept telling us to, she was just like, you know, you're our first backup.

Gamemaster:They wanted it now.

Johnny:Thank you.

Anzu:Thank you.

Argyle:We just wanted to let you know because sometimes people just get caught up in the moment and just overbid.

Argyle:And sometimes they have buyer's remorse.

Argyle:And it's just so funny.

Argyle:I was like, there's no way these trust fund kids are going to have buyer's remorse.

Argyle:They don't know what money is.

Argyle:But it's just so funny that they overbid on this.

Argyle:This house, I'm going to be honest with you.

Argyle:I was like, this is already a really expensive house.

Argyle:It's a small lot.

Argyle:And then they did that.

Argyle:And then they're like, we lost a house before this.

Argyle:And we're like, oh.

Gamemaster:So now you know that the next place you like, you have to go in a hundred grand in cash.

Argyle:Did Josh cut out for you guys?

Benny:Is my internet fucked up?

Benny:Oh, okay, sick.

Johnny:Yeah.

Argyle:Okay, yeah.

Argyle:You cut out for all of us.

Gamemaster:I was just saying you need to go in a hundred grand over.

Johnny:Simple.

Argyle:I have one of the most Long Island realtors ever.

Argyle:She's a thick accent.

Argyle:She lives in Syosset.

Argyle:She's all about being Long Island, right?

Argyle:And whenever we see other realtors, all of them are like, Marianne!

Argyle:They, like, love her.

Argyle:They're like, I'll see you in church.

Argyle:Oh, I know his father.

Argyle:Like, all of these other things.

Argyle:They're like, is your father doing better?

Argyle:Like, she's so... And she's been in this business for a bunch of years, and the other seller, too.

Argyle:And they're both like, that offer makes no sense.

Argyle:They're like, why would they do that?

Gamemaster:Did you really wanted the house?

Argyle:Yeah.

Anzu:If you find your spot, you know, you got to grab it.

Argyle:We...

Argyle:And for this house, we waived mortgage contingency and inspection.

Gamemaster:You waived inspection?

Johnny:What?

Argyle:It was a new house, and this... Wait, wait, wait.

Johnny:No, you should... My dude, you...

Benny:How new...

Gamemaster:Still don't.

Argyle:Let me finish.

Argyle:This builder is known in Rockville Center.

Argyle:He has all these beautiful mansions.

Argyle:And most of his clients buy the houses, and then they build new houses with him.

Argyle:It's just everyone sticks with this guy.

Argyle:The current owners built a $5 million house with him.

Argyle:And you guys can say don't waive it.

Argyle:Seven offers came in that day.

Argyle:Every single person waived it.

Argyle:They saw this house, and they're like, this is getting waived.

Gamemaster:That's scary.

Argyle:Oh, yeah, yeah.

Johnny:That's terrible.

Argyle:People give offers unseen.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:How good are these real estate agents?

Gamemaster:I had coworkers that just purchased houses without even going to them, just based on the pictures and stuff.

Gamemaster:That was during COVID, though, so it was slightly different than now.

Gamemaster:But I do know of people who are just like, yes, I'm buying this house.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:I can't make it to the open house, and I know it'll be sold by the time the open house ends.

Gamemaster:I'm just making an offer now.

Gamemaster:So it does happen.

Argyle:No, I know.

Argyle:But, but like, uh, yeah, this is, it's so funny because, uh,

Argyle:Yeah, all seven offers waived it.

Argyle:And then, yeah, we even waived mortgage contingency.

Argyle:And we're just like, all right, someone put $100K over cash.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I mean, it's kind of hard to beat that unless you also just happen to have a ridiculous amount of money sitting around in a bank account somewhere.

Argyle:But the thing is, when you waive mortgage contingency, you're basically a cash offer.

Johnny:Yeah.

Argyle:So...

Gamemaster:But not 100k over asking cash offer.

Argyle:Well, that's the thing.

Argyle:But that's what's crazy is when you do cash, you don't need to go that high because it's fucking cash.

Gamemaster:It was a winning strategy.

Argyle:So it's just so goofy.

Argyle:It's so goofy.

Argyle:Because, like, even the seller's agent was just like, this is crazy.

Gamemaster:I think you just have to assume it's somebody who doesn't actually understand the value of money because they got it from some, like, grandparent or parent or whatever and just really wanted the house.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:And so they threw money at the problem until it went away.

Argyle:Yeah, yeah.

Benny:Uh...

Gamemaster:Like, I don't know how you would compete with that other than getting different parents and then having them give you millions upon millions of dollars.

Argyle:Oh.

Johnny:Thank you.

Argyle:Well, the only difference is we technically, since we are on mortgage, we could have gone higher and then waived it.

Argyle:The problem is it's not worth it.

Argyle:That house is not – if someone offered me that amount of money or that house, I'd take the money every day.

Benny:I do like to imagine that they come in and do the reverse negotiating that some cartoon characters do.

Benny:Like, guys, we lost the last house.

Benny:I'm going to go in there.

Benny:I'm going to make sure we get this one.

Benny:It's like, okay.

Benny:It's just like, how about I give you all cash?

Benny:They go, perfect.

Benny:We'd love to sell to you.

Benny:$100,000 over.

Benny:And they're like, we've already said yes.

Benny:I don't want an inspection.

Benny:I don't want anything.

Benny:I want to buy the house right now.

Benny:It's like, we've already agreed way before.

Benny:And they're like, so it's a deal?

Benny:And they're like, it's a deal.

Benny:I'm like, I got it.

Argyle:They must have been so annoying that the seller agent's like, please, someone else, please.

Benny:We only had to go $100,000 over asking.

Johnny:Bye.

Argyle:Yeah, it is so crazy.

Argyle:And the owners of that house, it is the most beautiful house I've ever seen.

Argyle:Everything's beautiful about it.

Argyle:They just took the guy that built this house and they just bought a house down the street that's like three to five million now that they're just building.

Argyle:And they're like, you know, might as well do that.

Argyle:We love the guy so much.

Argyle:We love his house.

Argyle:It was also so well decorated.

Argyle:Like, I was just like, if we get this house, I want to call the lady and husband and go, please, decorate it.

Argyle:Please.

Gamemaster:Just leave your furniture here so that we can copy it.

Gamemaster:We'll give it back two weeks later once we've written down all of what it is.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:Or the real estate agent.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:I'm wondering how good these real estate agents are.

Benny:Because I understand that the house was exceptional.

Benny:But to be like, guys, you can't have an inspection of this house.

Argyle:Well, some of the people didn't have realtors.

Benny:And then they sell you on the designer or the builder.

Benny:And then they're like, okay, I guess.

Benny:Because the realtors also do the staging.

Gamemaster:But the seller has a realtor.

Argyle:Yeah, yeah.

Benny:Yeah.

Argyle:No, but I mean, the seller didn't tell us about this.

Argyle:Our realtor is like, no, no, no one's going to have an inspection.

Argyle:Everyone who saw this house, even when they didn't have a buying realtor, were like, we're going to waive.

Argyle:That's going to be the edge.

Argyle:We're going to tell them we don't need an inspection.

Argyle:When I told my dad about this, he was just like, they paid that much money for that house?

Argyle:He's like, now they own that.

Anzu:The housing market is not good here.

Argyle:No, no, it is.

Gamemaster:Yeah, there are a few downsides to that.

Argyle:And that was way more than we wanted to spend anyway.

Argyle:So it's like, the only reason we were so willing to do it is it was just perfect.

Argyle:It was literally just a perfect house.

Argyle:It is so funny, though.

Argyle:We're like, that is crazy.

Benny:You could have got the Miami Coke house in Jersey.

Benny:I'm sure there weren't multiple offers on that.

Argyle:Then I got to live in Jersey.

Argyle:This.

Benny:I found a... No, I found a house in probably like an hour, an hour 15 from New York City in New Jersey that is just like a glass block, white...

Gamemaster:For instance, Miami Coke House and Jersey.

Anzu:Thanks for watching!

Benny:like plaster it looks like it is from early 2000s 1980s like the coke time of miami open floor plan pool it's on the side of like a mountain and there's no one that lives around you

Gamemaster:He showed us a listing of it, and if you had told me that there were screenshots from GTA Vice City or something, I would have believed you.

Johnny:I mean, besides the fact that it's in Jersey, it sounds awesome.

Gamemaster:It was the most stereotypical Miami Coke house you could think of, except that it was in the middle of nowhere in New Jersey.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Which is a weird place, but I believe afterwards we looked up the architect and that's what they do.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:They just go to random places and build the same house in a bunch of different locations.

Benny:It was like a dude that designed homes in Miami during the Coke times and then he just started doing it elsewhere.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:And then he left and he brought it to the rest of the country.

Benny:Someone bought it.

Gamemaster:Because that's what he needed.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:It's off market.

Benny:I'm going to send a link to it.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Argyle:What is also.

Gamemaster:You have it?

Gamemaster:You, like, had it bookmarked so that you could come back to it just in case?

Benny:You can just chuck it in your saved homes in Zillow.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:What's also funny is a while ago, like a couple of months ago, we toured this other house.

Argyle:It was a beautiful house on photo.

Argyle:You look at it and it was like old and decrepit.

Argyle:And my parents actually were there for that one.

Argyle:And they're like, this is a piece of shit.

Johnny:Hello.

Argyle:And they listed it for one six.

Argyle:My dad's like, you should offer them like.

Argyle:$600,000.

Argyle:I was like, I can't.

Anzu:Crazy.

Argyle:It's insulting to do that.

Argyle:My dad's like, no one's going to buy this house.

Argyle:Then a month later, it's sold.

Argyle:He's like, who's buying houses on the island?

Gamemaster:There was, like, literally across the street from where my parents live, a piece of crap, literally burned down house went on sale, like, I want to say six or seven months ago, like, earlier this year.

Argyle:I was going to say, I wouldn't have been surprised if that was an 800k lot.

Gamemaster:And they listed it for, like, 450k, because it was effectively just buying the plot of land.

Gamemaster:And it sold for, like, 700.

Gamemaster:It was ridiculous.

Benny:Well, yeah, because it would be 400 if the building was still completely standing, because then you'd have to pay to have it demolished.

Argyle:Like, it's crazy.

Gamemaster:Yeah, just the Lant.

Argyle:Yeah, but Josh... No, no, no.

Benny:But you saved 300 grand by having it burnt completely to the ground.

Argyle:Legitimately, first of all, you want to keep at least one wall.

Argyle:So then it's a rebuild for tax purposes.

Argyle:No, I'm serious.

Argyle:Because then you get to qualify it as a remodel.

Gamemaster:Of course.

Benny:All the grandfathering rezoning, yeah.

Argyle:But also, yeah.

Argyle:But then also, no, no.

Argyle:Because that area of Long Island, houses are like one and a half easy, depending on your plot.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Argyle:If you have a 400K house, you could build a pretty nice house for like 500, 600K.

Argyle:That means...

Argyle:you could sell that lot for a lot of money.

Argyle:Cause then you just add, like if, if they put 700 K, they put 500 K, they could sell for one seven and make 300 K pretty easy.

Gamemaster:It was just like, I understand the economics of it.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:It's just crazy to me that they were like, hey, we're offering this for like a not negligible amount of money.

Gamemaster:And then somebody obviously came in.

Gamemaster:It was like, I will give you almost double that for this land with a burnt carcass of a house on it.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:I like this Miami Coke house.

Benny:Jorge, you know who Rob Spaghetti is?

Benny:Right, right?

Johnny:This is fun.

Benny:That's a fucking great find.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:The enclosed, carpeted spiral staircase is the weirdest bit for me.

Johnny:I like it.

Johnny:I like everything about it.

Johnny:I like the weird outdoor brick that's in their kitchen they chose to put on the floor.

Argyle:Wait a second.

Argyle:This is a different house.

Argyle:The old link I have for the house I looked at is different.

Gamemaster:What about...

Argyle:They just completely changed all the images.

Argyle:Is it a privacy thing?

Benny:What, for the Miami Coke house?

Argyle:No, for the house that I looked at.

Benny:The images are different for the Miami Coke house, too.

Benny:I mean, it's the same house, but I think the listing has a different one than the Zillow page.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:They put a 3D rendering for it.

Benny:When it's listed, it's the Realtors photos, and then when it's Zillowed, it's maybe some other, either more recent or older photos.

Argyle:Yeah, no, I guess they just converted this to old 3D renderings.

Argyle:Yeah, that's crazy.

Argyle:But yeah.

Gamemaster:The Coke House has a TV on the floor in the living room.

Gamemaster:Like, sorry, floor level.

Gamemaster:Embedded in the wall, but floor level.

Gamemaster:And then next to it is a digital fireplace slightly further up on the wall, but, like, off to the side so they could fit it next to the door.

Gamemaster:It's... It's TV too low.

Benny:Yeah, they're appreciators of rslash tv2high.

Benny:They don't want to have tv2high.

Gamemaster:I don't want to watch TV on the floor.

Benny:Well, I don't know.

Benny:You're going to get coke all over your fucking couch if you're watching it from your couch.

Johnny:Why is the TV so low?

Gamemaster:Why didn't they put the TV on the other wall where they have that one Black and White picture of, I assume, New York City at TV height?

Benny:You're going to have them... I don't... Listen...

Benny:You're going to be running through the woods.

Benny:You're not going to be spending a whole lot of time here.

Benny:This is just to do coke, Josh.

Benny:You're not watching TV in this dwelling.

Gamemaster:Right, of course.

Argyle:I'm kind of sad that Mike isn't trying to buy an Art Deco house.

Gamemaster:The bathtub in the center of the bathroom is crazy, too.

Johnny:What is this thing on the roof?

Anzu:Well that's luxurious.

Benny:Yeah, they just got it like that.

Gamemaster:Is it?

Benny:Yeah.

Benny:That means I have so much space in my bathroom.

Johnny:Is this...

Benny:I can play baseball in it.

Benny:Like Nickelback.

Benny:If there is an Art Deco house within an hour of New York and it's in New Jersey, send it to me.

Benny:Send it to me and I will make that my life's goal instead of the Coke house.

Benny:Because right now it's the Coke house.

Benny:My goal is to make enough money that when the next time this goes on the market, I can slide in and get Coke house.

Anzu:It'd be sick to come visit, not going to lie.

Argyle:You'll need like, you need 350 to 400K per year to afford it at that price point.

Johnny:It's a nice house.

Johnny:It's got a pool.

Argyle:So keep that in mind.

Benny:I think that large of a mortgage payment scares me.

Gamemaster:the Heart Deco House?

Gamemaster:6.3 is what they're estimating it at.

Argyle:With the solid credit, you got it.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Yeah, I don't know.

Argyle:I think that might be like six or five or six grand a month.

Benny:A couple of years.

Benny:Or if rates go down.

Argyle:I look at houses a lot.

Gamemaster:I mean, yeah.

Argyle:What's also funny is I was talking with my mortgage lender, and he's like, you're going to do the 20% down, right?

Argyle:And I was just like, yeah, what if I don't do that?

Argyle:And he's like, well, then you're technically going to be a less ideal buyer, so they'll raise it.

Argyle:And I was like, how much would they raise it?

Argyle:And then he's like, this a month.

Argyle:And I was like...

Argyle:So if I could take that money and then get 10% of it on the market, I'd actually break even.

Argyle:Any more money is fine.

Argyle:Any less, I could still hedge my bets by holding on to that.

Argyle:And he's like, yeah, man.

Gamemaster:The person writing the description for this listing was also a cook while they were doing it.

Gamemaster:I'm just looking at the features.

Benny:What does it say?

Gamemaster:They didn't have the time to write out all of the words for the features, so they abbreviated every feature.

Gamemaster:Smoke Det.

Gamemaster:Securisys.

Gamemaster:CO Detect.

Gamemaster:Walk in Clothes.

Gamemaster:Fire Extricate.

Gamemaster:Bar Dry.

Gamemaster:Track Light, but they removed the A from Track and the I from Light.

Johnny:Appliances.

Benny:I want to meet this.

Gamemaster:Stahlschuh.

Benny:I want to meet this listing agent.

Benny:Yeah, so are you going to make an offer today?

Gamemaster:They wrote microwave, and then they just left off the E. What is a carb-m-det?

Johnny:There's two appliances included.

Johnny:The garbage disposal and the fridge.

Gamemaster:Carbon monoxide detector.

Gamemaster:That's what it is.

Anzu:Yeah.

Benny:No, it's carbon debt.

Benny:These people, they purchased carbon credits and now they have to make payments because they bought it with debt.

Gamemaster:What is oven self?

Benny:Because the house pollutes.

Benny:It's a self-cleaning oven.

Gamemaster:But that's, it's listed differently than oven W-ELEC.

Benny:That's an oven with electricity.

Benny:Not self-cleaning.

Gamemaster:Is that, is that to say an electric oven?

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:I just, this is a crazy question.

Argyle:Have you guys ever seen a Zillow estimate this far off?

Argyle:I was just clicking through some houses.

Gamemaster:Of course.

Benny:in New Jersey.

Argyle:No, no, Rockville Center.

Gamemaster:Nobody other than you, Mike, is looking at houses in New Jersey.

Argyle:The estimate, no, they put it on the market for $1,399, but the Zillow estimate is $1.9.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Johnny:Mm hmm.

Argyle:Wonder what's wrong with this house.

Gamemaster:I don't think it's a wonder what's wrong.

Gamemaster:I think it's a Zillow estimates it based off of like history and other stuff in the neighborhood or whatever.

Gamemaster:And the buyer thinks that it's a seller.

Gamemaster:So this seller thinks it's a seller's market right now and they can get an extra chunk of change for it.

Gamemaster:And for all you know, they might be right.

Argyle:No, no, no.

Argyle:The Zestimate is higher.

Gamemaster:Is low, right?

Benny:It's 600.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:No, this estimate is high.

Gamemaster:Nevermind.

Benny:Is this the Amityville house?

Argyle:That's what I'm saying.

Argyle:There's something really wrong.

Gamemaster:Infested with termites.

Gamemaster:Termites and bedbugs are having a War in the basement.

Johnny:I mean, it's kind of outdated looking.

Argyle:Yeah, there's something really wrong.

Johnny:They probably had a broker look at it and go, yeah, it's too outdated.

Johnny:Anyone who's going to want to live in there is going to have to redo it.

Argyle:Noah, the 1-6 house...

Benny:Oh, yeah.

Argyle:reeked of mold.

Argyle:No bedrooms could fit even the master, larger than a twin.

Argyle:It had six of them.

Johnny:What is happening in New York?

Argyle:Who's building that house?

Benny:This is an animal farm, like, industrial revolution where you had to pack seven people into a fucking Parabell apartment.

Argyle:Why do you need six houses?

Gamemaster:you

Argyle:That was great.

Anzu:Thank you.

Johnny:Every time I'm like, oh, this makes economic sense, I get some New York news and I'm like, this doesn't make any sense.

Johnny:What are you guys talking about?

Argyle:Well, the problem with Rockville Center, at least, and other parts of Long Island as well, but Rockville Center is a 35-minute train ride from Grand Central.

Argyle:And you could go to Brooklyn and have a longer commute than someone that lives in Rockville Center who has a whole house.

Johnny:I don't take public transportation.

Argyle:And you pay the same amount of money to have a little apartment.

Argyle:That's part of the problem.

Johnny:Okay, I get it now.

Johnny:I get it.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:But it is wild.

Johnny:Have you guys tried just building houses in the middle of New York?

Gamemaster:Like, New York City or New York State?

Gamemaster:Because people have tried in the middle of New York State and they're hicks.

Johnny:Nope, New York City.

Benny:I'd totally do it.

Benny:If I don't find a nice A-frame, Coke House, or Art Deco, I want it to be interesting.

Benny:If there's nothing interesting, I'll buy a starter home and then just figure out the finances to get a lot and then start putting it together to just go from there.

Gamemaster:You're just gonna...

Argyle:So I was, I was talking to my mortgage lender and he's just like, yeah, you could, I was asking like, how does a construction loan even work?

Argyle:And he's like, you could do it.

Argyle:But then once you take out a construction loan, the bank gets involved.

Argyle:So they're like, do you really want to add that sconce?

Argyle:We could save money and add this one.

Argyle:So that's like this whole annoying thing.

Argyle:So he's like, I recommend if you want upgrades, just do it in cash.

Argyle:And I was like, so I'll just try to find one.

Argyle:That's nice.

Benny:Yeah.

Benny:I don't know if Rob Spaghetti has any good videos on it still, but he did that on Long Island.

Argyle:But then there's... Yeah.

Benny:He bought a house, knocked it down, and then built something.

Benny:His name is not actually Rob Spaghetti.

Benny:He's just an Italian dude.

Benny:So people call him Rob Spaghetti in his YouTube comments.

Benny:But he documented his Long Island house construction.

Argyle:Did he do it in cash or did he get a loan?

Benny:I didn't cash.

Benny:He runs a supercar rental business, which is how I know about him.

Argyle:Hehehehe.

Gamemaster:Of course.

Johnny:Spaghetti cars.

Johnny:Get your car with a side of spaghetti.

Benny:He has the funniest of like... So this guy rented my 488 Pista.

Benny:Could tell he was sketchy walking in.

Benny:There's a bunch of scratch marks.

Benny:So I have to go and call the insurance now and see...

Benny:you know get his credit card on file and hopefully he doesn't freak out too much but this is going to be like a 4 000 repair and it's it's all paid for by him

Argyle:I can't wait to compete with more morons.

Gamemaster:Do we want to temporarily forget about the horrors of modern real estate and play some Pathfinder instead?

Anzu:I will just remind you that you might be able to get a 50-year mortgage, so that'll make it really easy.

Johnny:Let's do it.

Benny:we just have to subsidize demand you just have to subsidize demand

Gamemaster:Who's like the US?

Johnny:Didn't they try that in Canada?

Johnny:It didn't work.

Anzu:I don't know, but I've been seeing that they've been thinking about it.

Gamemaster:Isn't the U.S.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:going to do a 50-year mortgage?

Argyle:Trump wants to.

Gamemaster:Not actually a mortgage, but yeah.

Gamemaster:So listen, if it's good enough for the United States of America, it's good enough for its people.

Argyle:You know, like, who needs to ever own an asset?

Johnny:Oh, Canada's 40.

Johnny:Canada had 40 year mortgages.

Johnny:I'm so sorry.

Argyle:Canada's in a real shitshow right now.

Johnny:Because they have 40 year mortgages.

Gamemaster:But if we get 50-year mortgages, then it's like a rent to own, but you rent so that your kid owns.

Argyle:Honestly, it's kind of like China.

Gamemaster:That's fun.

Argyle:You're not allowed to legally own property, so you can only have like 75-year leases.

Gamemaster:Is it?

Benny:But at the end, you have to give it back.

Gamemaster:Right, sure.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:Here at the end, you own it, hopefully.

Gamemaster:Well, the expectation is that you renew the lease with the government.

Benny:No, no.

Argyle:And you're going to have to give it back.

Argyle:All right, all right.

Johnny:a 50 year mortgage you would pay more in interest you pay like more than the house is worth in interest anyway let's play Pathfinder

Argyle:If someone is doing a 50-year mortgage into the...

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's the point.

Gamemaster:Isn't that fun?

Benny:Honestly, that part is fine because the money is worth less.

Benny:50 years out.

Benny:So I think the time value of money... No, seriously.

Benny:The time value of money, it makes sense.

Argyle:You gotta make payments for 50 years?

Benny:The issue with it being 50 years is you're going to... Oh, fuck.

Benny:I just had it.

Benny:The issue is... Fuck.

Benny:No, it was... No, no, no.

Argyle:Someone's gonna die before they finish.

Johnny:That's the whole plan.

Johnny:That's the point of 50-year mortgage.

Benny:Oh, yeah.

Johnny:No, they'll all have balloon payment penalties or wacky acceleration clauses.

Gamemaster:Listen, the point is that by the time that you've paid off the 50-year mortgage, it's just in time to do a reverse mortgage on it.

Benny:Okay.

Benny:So the issue is...

Argyle:you know that's going to have early payment penalties.

Benny:No.

Benny:Oh.

Argyle:You cannot pay that down early.

Johnny:It's going to be fucked.

Benny:They're going to be priced in a way that is assuming that at some point during your mortgage, interest rates will be lower than they are right now simply because it's going to last for 50 years.

Benny:But no, the issue is people get into 30-year mortgages nowadays and they stay in the house for two years and then they leave and they didn't build any equity and the price didn't appreciate and they're forced out because they're house poor.

Benny:So with a 50-year mortgage, that period where you actually have enough equity, barring any sort of speculation or rise in actual cost of the house,

Benny:you're going to just fuck yourself over if you move out before like year eight or year 10.

Benny:I think it's like five or six for a 30 year.

Argyle:No, for 30, I think it's around 10.

Benny:And now, yeah.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:So like if you're done, if you're not in the house for, yeah, it's gonna be like 15 years, 15, 20 years before you get an appreciable equity position.

Argyle:Perfect.

Argyle:It's going to be like 30 here.

Benny:So, so many people are going to jump in because the 50 year mortgage makes it cheap.

Benny:They're going to become a house poor sell.

Benny:And just like the bank's just going to be rolling in yield and fees and

Benny:You're going to have to sell it to someone else, so they're going to get all the new mortgage organization, all the fucking shit all over again.

Benny:That's the big issue.

Benny:Let me get my notebook for D&D.

Gamemaster:Does anybody want to do a recap of last session?

Gamemaster:Jorge's hand is up.

Anzu:No, no.

Argyle:Oh, wait, was someone else?

Argyle:Did you want to do it, Tyler?

Anzu:I just think it's going to be scathing.

Anzu:A scathing report.

Argyle:So yeah, we started off the day.

Argyle:We just finished a late night call.

Argyle:We all went to bed.

Argyle:We decided that the first thing we were going to do is talk to the cops, which is us turning a leaf.

Argyle:For the first time in three years as players, we're going to go talk to some authorities, and maybe they're good people.

Argyle:So we drove over.

Argyle:We went over to a fantasy Vatican City.

Argyle:They let us in.

Argyle:They're like, there's a nine-year-old driving.

Argyle:Our nine-year-old successfully bribed someone with some cough lodgers.

Gamemaster:Nine-year-old didn't need to do that.

Gamemaster:Nine-year-old just threw that in for fun.

Argyle:They're driving in.

Argyle:We drive in.

Argyle:We park.

Argyle:Reparking might be the last time.

Johnny:No.

Argyle:Enter the precinct.

Argyle:There's this really cool cop that's an elf.

Argyle:I feel like we should point that out, because he's really old.

Argyle:But he doesn't look that old.

Argyle:So we go chat with him.

Argyle:He's actually very helpful, and he actually doesn't gaslight us on magical things, which is very new for us.

Argyle:He's actually like, oh, you see fire?

Argyle:Which fire?

Argyle:And then has a bunch of fires.

Argyle:Oh, you saw this?

Argyle:Which one?

Argyle:Oh, that tree might be weird.

Argyle:Huh, maybe it's weird.

Argyle:Pretty cool guy.

Argyle:I'm going to be honest with you.

Argyle:Really liked him.

Argyle:Maybe I should change my character from the Scale just to work with that guy.

Argyle:Very cool guy.

Argyle:He's going to pay us, actually.

Argyle:Pretty modest sum.

Argyle:One gold per day.

Argyle:Pretty dope, actually.

Argyle:I don't know how we're going to get it.

Argyle:I don't know if he's going to mail it to Iconoclasm.

Argyle:I don't know if we've got to set up a bank account.

Argyle:Don't know how that works.

Argyle:But anyway.

Argyle:And then we get 500 gold if we lead to the rest of this stuff.

Argyle:So we start driving.

Argyle:He's like, by the way, we don't think they're going to use the sewers anymore because they're flooded.

Argyle:Kind of like why they got flooded.

Argyle:So they're going to do something else.

Argyle:So then we're like, oh, cool.

Argyle:Maybe we should just kill all the gang members.

Argyle:And then our very wise friend says, maybe we can't take on an entire gang as just four people.

Argyle:And we're like, maybe not.

Argyle:So then we go, let's go talk about this over some paninis.

Argyle:So we go to future.

Argyle:Past tense, magical Denny's.

Argyle:We start eating.

Argyle:Argyle's like, hey guys, I'm gonna go investigate the thing.

Argyle:No one follows him.

Argyle:He steps outside for a smoke break.

Argyle:Has a grappling gun, because apparently you could just buy those.

Argyle:Grapples onto the roof.

Argyle:Doesn't really know what to do, so he's following him.

Argyle:Cuts some wires.

Argyle:Signals for his friends.

Argyle:One of his friends shows up.

Argyle:Light as a feather.

Argyle:Does some magical stuff.

Argyle:Meanwhile, the kid does a couple of weird things.

Argyle:One, he scurries into the kitchen.

Argyle:Makes his way outside, dodging fry cooks.

Argyle:Makes it outside, goes, I can sense some weird sensation.

Argyle:Does this whole thing.

Argyle:Goes back in and decides he's going to sneak into the manager's office.

Argyle:Meanwhile, Johnny Skyfall causes a commotion.

Argyle:He claims he found a curly hair in his ice cream.

Argyle:Big, big drama ensues.

Johnny:you

Argyle:Benny gets caught by the fry cook.

Argyle:They wrangle two gold out of this poor, poor manager who might be a mobster.

Argyle:They get some free merch, I think.

Argyle:And then we call it a day.

Gamemaster:yeah you got uh

Argyle:And then we safely got off the roof after dismantling it.

Argyle:Stealthily.

Gamemaster:Also, Benny, in between them failing to get into the manager's office but successfully wrangling a 20-buck gift card and a souvenir cup from the person, did have just random insight into the presence or attention of some powerful being that disappeared when you cut the radar dish.

Benny:Wait.

Gamemaster:But otherwise, yeah, that was a pretty good recap.

Gamemaster:We did end last session, I believe, with all of you returning back to Iconoclasm, getting in another rest back at the Sin and Tonic.

Gamemaster:We had some faxes.

Gamemaster:I think the faxes actually happened before you spoke to the cops.

Gamemaster:You got a little bit of more information on Oogathals and a contact that you might want to follow up with if you wanted to learn more about Oogathals.

Argyle:Mm hmm.

Benny:Is it going to sound all hornetsness?

Gamemaster:And you also got a note from Hale saying that you kicked a hornet's nest.

Gamemaster:That's for Johnny to sit on.

Gamemaster:Yes, Tanner.

Anzu:I believe that we're currently on the way to a mart.

Gamemaster:Correct.

Gamemaster:You had gotten a day's rest, and then on the next day it was time for your meeting with Whiskers and Co.

Gamemaster:about the Zorbon.

Gamemaster:I don't know if we actually went over if you guys made tinfoil hats, but I know that you purchased the tinfoil.

Anzu:I believe I did.

Gamemaster:Okay, so we can say that you have the tinfoil hats.

Argyle:Hey.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Gamemaster:But you had driven over to the open-air market in Widdershins, where Whiskers said that they meet in the sewer underneath that market.

Gamemaster:So we begin...

Gamemaster:today's session with Jorge does get a method point um and uh the four of you have just parked for free in a free parking lot uh for now um outside of this open air like farmer's market type deal uh in widdershins um it is still as always pouring um but i would love it if i could get a nature check

Anzu:I think that's me.

Benny:I'm not good at this.

Anzu:I forget.

Anzu:I think that's me.

Anzu:Yeah.

Anzu:Eight.

Gamemaster:I have no further information for you.

Benny:Nice.

Anzu:Okay, guys, so listen.

Anzu:I know it may seem silly that we're meeting with these people, but...

Anzu:there are enough of them that claim to be either hearing something or trying to avoid hearing something that there's a chance there's some truth to it.

Anzu:And with us hearing things and other people hearing things, we've got to figure out if maybe there is some truth in what seems to be a little wonky.

Anzu:If we can even find them, I don't know.

Anzu:We'll have to go investigate.

Benny:They do say psychosis loves company.

Anzu:Right.

Argyle:Benny, where did you hear that?

Benny:I read it in a book.

Argyle:When did you learn to read?

Argyle:When would you ballpark that, I'm curious?

Benny:Pretty quickly.

Benny:Years ago.

Benny:I don't know.

Benny:Just pretty early, I guess.

Argyle:Three, four, five years ago?

Benny:Probably earlier.

Argyle:Nine years ago?

Benny:That seems like cutting it close.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:She just came out reading.

Argyle:Great.

Anzu:You're a special kid, Benny.

Benny:Thanks.

Argyle:Not sure you were a kid, but... I'm not even sure he did... I'm going to be honest with you.

Gamemaster:as a permission slip.

Benny:Would an adult be carrying around a permission slip?

Gamemaster:That would be strange.

Argyle:Our guy's going to kneel down and be like, I'm going to be honest with you, Benny.

Argyle:I could see you being your own dad and somehow time traveling or making you and then writing a permission slip before it happens.

Argyle:So I'm on to you.

Anzu:No, but there's a different name.

Anzu:The dad has a different name.

Argyle:Atum?

Anzu:All right.

Argyle:Does Atum have a phone number?

Argyle:Can we call him?

Benny:Okay.

Argyle:just to verify that he knows where his son is.

Argyle:We're gonna have to do it.

Anzu:Well, we can't do that right now.

Gamemaster:Cell phones haven't been invented yet.

Anzu:I guess let's at least take a look at where you would go to get into the sewers around here.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:So you all can exit the vehicle and look around this market.

Gamemaster:You didn't really get specific directions from Whiskers.

Gamemaster:He was a little bit frantic, as he was a...

Gamemaster:A homeless man in an alley wearing a tinfoil hat watching you guys steal something while you were just kind of having a chat with him.

Gamemaster:But he gave you the directions over here and said that you had to find your way into the sewers.

Gamemaster:Looking around, can I get a perception check from whoever would like to?

Gamemaster:Up to two people.

Gamemaster:Only two people are allowed to see.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:I'm not going to do it.

Benny:I'll do it.

Johnny:Oh, yeah.

Johnny:I got one.

Benny:I'll do it.

Johnny:I see everything.

Anzu:Let's go.

Anzu:No, I don't think you can do it better.

Johnny:I see everything.

Benny:Do I even have to roll?

Benny:No.

Argyle:Can roll.

Argyle:Maybe you can get a one.

Johnny:I'm so sorry.

Johnny:I have to make a call for work.

Benny:Sure.

Johnny:Please continue.

Johnny:I will hop back on in a second.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Anzu:Can we use your perception?

Johnny:Yeah.

Anzu:Sick.

Argyle:No, he's taking it with him.

Gamemaster:So Johnny explodes, but before he does, he gets a really good view around the open-air market.

Argyle:I'm still here.

Gamemaster:The way that it's set up is there are rows of stalls with these kind of awnings where people can go in and hawk whatever they're selling here.

Gamemaster:There's not a particularly large turnout right now, given the inclement weather.

Gamemaster:People aren't really looking to walk around in the pouring rain.

Gamemaster:But with the critical success that he got, there is kind of...

Gamemaster:All the way in the back from where you entered from the parking lot, close to the other end of the market, there is a stall with a hunched-over-looking elderly orcish woman selling raw honey.

Gamemaster:And directly in front of her stall is a manhole cover.

Benny:No, we.

Gamemaster:That is, as best you can tell, the only entrance, doing like a lap around the market, to the sewers within this market.

Gamemaster:You think that if you probably moved out further in either direction following the streets, you might find other entrances in.

Gamemaster:But within the market itself, this manhole cover is the only entrance.

Anzu:Do we want to chat with this vendor or just go to work?

Argyle:Push out.

Argyle:Maybe not.

Benny:would we ask about the manhole cover sure yeah because i don't think we're i mean we could try to stealthily enter the manhole cover but i think we'll be seen so it's probably worth asking like hey we're going down in there did you see anyone you do it

Anzu:Yeah, just see if anybody's been down that way or if anybody tried to go down that way.

Anzu:alright okay I'll approach the stall in fact I do yeah I've been wanting something a little sweet

Gamemaster:Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:The orcish woman looks up at you and says, got a hankering for raw honey, sonny?

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:We have a number of different raw honeys, depending on what you're looking for.

Gamemaster:Did you have something in mind?

Anzu:Right.

Gamemaster:We got regular.

Gamemaster:We've got, like, lavender.

Gamemaster:We've got an orchid.

Gamemaster:Orchid.

Gamemaster:Not orchid, because that's not a word.

Gamemaster:And, you know, some other, like, if you're looking for more of the rare stuff, I could pull out my rare stock.

Gamemaster:It starts at only two silver, which is, you know, that might feel a little expensive, but it's raw honey.

Gamemaster:It's not been processed by a machine or by an org.

Gamemaster:I made it myself in my attic with my bees.

Anzu:That is lovely.

Anzu:Now, this is probably a long shot, but you don't by any chance have myrrh, honey, do you?

Argyle:Excuse me.

Gamemaster:Roll a d20 for me, please.

Gamemaster:You're looking for an 18 or higher.

Argyle:Took the wind out of our cat.

Gamemaster:18 or higher is what I said.

Anzu:I got a seven.

Anzu:I didn't hear what you told me I want, but I got a seven.

Gamemaster:She'll say, well, traditionally the flavoring of the honey comes from the flower that the bees pollinated off of, and I don't know if there's any myrrh farms around Talia.

Benny:Hold it.

Anzu:Yeah, that sounds absolutely correct to me.

Gamemaster:I could just, if you had myrrh, you could mix it into regular raw honey, and then you'd have myrrh-polluted honey.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Anzu:I would love some lavender.

Gamemaster:And she'll take out, not a large jar, like a mason jar, kind of, of this pinkish-looking honey, and hand it over.

Argyle:I will also... I will also get some... Do they have any, like, eucalyptus, or... Yeah, how much is that?

Anzu:All right.

Gamemaster:Oh, if you're looking for something that's soothing, I have one that I put menthol in.

Gamemaster:That'll be five silver pieces.

Argyle:Does it have any healing properties?

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:If you have a cough, it'll soothe it.

Argyle:I'll take the two silver one.

Benny:Do you have any hard honey candies?

Gamemaster:I don't have... That's a good idea.

Gamemaster:No, I just sell regular unprocessed honey in a jar.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Argyle:Do you have flowers in your attic?

Gamemaster:Yeah, I grow some.

Argyle:How big is your attic?

Gamemaster:Not very.

Gamemaster:It's a little cramped, especially with the bees and the planters.

Benny:Okay.

Anzu:Well, it's a lovely business that you run here.

Benny:Beads are big.

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Anzu:I have kind of a unique question for you.

Anzu:We've been looking for some friends of ours.

Anzu:They like to mess around in, believe it or not, the sewers.

Anzu:And I'm wondering if you've seen any activity related to this manhole cover here during the day today.

Gamemaster:Roll a diplomacy check.

Gamemaster:The DC is very low because you purchased some honey from her.

Benny:You ever seen anyone go in this manhole cover?

Benny:I don't know.

Benny:My memory's a little hazy.

Benny:How about now?

Gamemaster:You skipped that whole song and dance because you walked up and immediately purchased honey.

Anzu:Ugh.

Benny:Who's the real face?

Anzu:It's not me.

Gamemaster:Uh...

Anzu:Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Anzu:Maybe I should use the points on it.

Benny:Our friend?

Argyle:Hero point, hero point.

Benny:Our friend in the hole?

Benny:I'm trying to think of what a six would look like.

Anzu:Shut up.

Anzu:All right, what do I add to get from trained?

Anzu:I add another eight.

Gamemaster:Yes, sir.

Anzu:That's crazy.

Anzu:That's still pretty bad, but 17.

Gamemaster:Seventeen's is enough.

Gamemaster:She will say, Oh, are you friends of The Zorbon?

Anzu:Well, I think that that's not the way you're supposed to phrase it technically, but we're thinking about it.

Gamemaster:You're looking to be friends with the Zorbon?

Argyle:Time out, time out.

Anzu:No, no.

Argyle:We're not friends with The Zorbon.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:Oh, okay.

Gamemaster:I just had to check.

Anzu:Right, that's what I was getting at.

Argyle:We're friends with Whiskers, not The Zorbon.

Anzu:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Gotcha.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:Whiskers, you mean the head of the anti-Zorbon task force?

Argyle:I pull out my hat and I put it on my head.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:She's like, put that away.

Gamemaster:You can't wear that in public.

Gamemaster:Then they'll know.

Argyle:Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Gamemaster:Yeah, um, meetings are down the manhole cover.

Gamemaster:I'll keep Anaïs out.

Anzu:Now, we heard there may be some flooding.

Anzu:Are they still able to meet around here?

Argyle:Does she have arraignment?

Gamemaster:I mean, people went down there a few hours ago.

Anzu:All right, so we'll give it a go.

Benny:OK.

Anzu:Thank you very much.

Anzu:Your honey is lovely.

Gamemaster:Of course.

Gamemaster:I know.

Gamemaster:And she'll keep Anaïs out.

Anzu:I guess we'll go down.

Gamemaster:You don't really understand what that means in this context, because you are just out in the open opening up a manhole cover and going down.

Gamemaster:People will see.

Gamemaster:But...

Gamemaster:She does.

Gamemaster:She has a relatively small raiment of the host.

Argyle:Noah's character exploding is actually pretty normal.

Benny:Oh.

Benny:I would like to resonate

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:You resonate, and there are three other people around you right now who have been affected by the Voidsong.

Gamemaster:One of them did explode a few minutes ago after watching a perception check, but he'll be back, so we'll count it.

Anzu:But we do want to do that again when we get down there.

Argyle:All of last campaign.

Anzu:He did explode.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's true.

Anzu:That's right.

Argyle:So you're dumb.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:You pop open the manhole cover, head on down, and then after the four of you make it down, she gets up from behind the stand and pushes the manhole cover back in place behind you.

Gamemaster:As you come down into the sewers, you can see the...

Gamemaster:It is definitely flooded, although it's not, I think, as flooded as you might expect from preventing people from doing activities in the sewers.

Anzu:um you

Gamemaster:You land down on the base of this ladder that brings you down into the sewage pathway, and you're in this kind of...

Gamemaster:It looks like you're not actually directly in the sewers.

Gamemaster:If anything, you look like you've landed in some kind of pumping station underneath the city that might be attached to the sewers in some way, like some kind of water treatment facility of that kind.

Gamemaster:But the bottom maybe two inches of the floor...

Gamemaster:are covered in water, so you know that the water has risen above what it normally would be.

Gamemaster:But you can get down here.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:There's nothing blocking you.

Gamemaster:You gather that if, like, maybe this part of the sewer wasn't hit as hard for whatever reason, or maybe they did something to stop it from flooding, something along those lines.

Gamemaster:But it's just, it's gross, but it's not untenable, you know?

Anzu:We put our tinfoil hats on.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Argyle:The Zorbon cannot flood this sewer.

Argyle:That's what happened.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:Either way, you are down in this pump room.

Gamemaster:There is, besides the ladder that heads back up, there's only one door that leads further out into the, like, sewer proper.

Gamemaster:But nobody's, like, greeting you or anything here.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:You don your anti-Zorbon hat.

Anzu:And if there's only one way to go, that's where we're going.

Gamemaster:And you enter the...

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Argyle:Hell yeah, brother.

Gamemaster:Once again, I would like a perception check as you guys enter into the sewer proper.

Anzu:Can we use Johnny Skyfall's plus 8 modifier?

Argyle:I can make one.

Argyle:Oh.

Gamemaster:I allow you to roll on his behalf.

Argyle:Alright, you can do it, Tin Man.

Benny:You do it.

Anzu:All right.

Anzu:I'm just rolling poorly today.

Anzu:I don't understand.

Anzu:Johnny Skyfall got a 12.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:You can roll too.

Argyle:Do you want to do it, Mike?

Gamemaster:Did somebody already roll?

Benny:Oh, I can roll.

Argyle:Yeah, I said I was going to roll, but then since we're using Johnny Scaffold.

Benny:19.

Gamemaster:Okay, 19 is enough.

Gamemaster:The first thing you notice when you pull open the door into the sewers is there's an immediate metallic scent that Benny would recognize as the smell of blood.

Benny:Boom.

Gamemaster:You look around, and there is... The doorway opens out into a part of the actual sewer.

Gamemaster:This is nicer than the sewer that you had to wade through in Sableclutch, looking for Flynn.

Gamemaster:The way it's set up is that there are raised paths on either side of the canal that the sewage flows through.

Gamemaster:The water level is slightly raised here, so even on the platforms above, there's a little bit of water.

Gamemaster:That's kind of peeked over the edge.

Gamemaster:But the most obvious thing that stands out here is there are smears of blood across the wall, and you gather would be on the floor if the water level hadn't risen a little bit and washed it away.

Gamemaster:It's actually not just blood.

Gamemaster:It's blood and viscera.

Gamemaster:Can I get a medicine check, actually, just looking at it as you pop in?

Anzu:I think that's Argyle.

Argyle:Yes.

Argyle:I have a plus eight.

Argyle:17.

Gamemaster:17.

Gamemaster:It's not a particularly difficult assessment to make here.

Gamemaster:It looks like somebody was just straight up ripped apart and just pieces of them flew out in every direction when that happened.

Gamemaster:With the caveat of there is a trail of blood across the wall as if whatever remained of the person was dragged from the spot that they were ripped apart further into the sewers.

Gamemaster:Yes, Tanner.

Anzu:Does Argyle get a sense of when this might have happened?

Gamemaster:Yeah, with that check, I'll say that you're pretty sure it was recent.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:Like, the blood hasn't completely dried yet, and that might be due to the humid environment in the sewers, but you would expect it would still kind of congeal, maybe within an hour or so.

Argyle:Did somebody hurt our friend Whiskers?

Anzu:yeah this is not a good sign i feel like blood and viscera makes me want to be quiet but i'm open to suggestions

Argyle:Argo's eyes flash a little orangey red and then he grabs his axe out.

Argyle:Let's go.

Gamemaster:Okay, are you guys being quiet as you continue into the sewer?

Gamemaster:Or are you just kind of like on the warpath trying to figure out what's happening?

Benny:Johnny Skyfall in front.

Argyle:All right, we can be quiet.

Argyle:Boring.

Gamemaster:The other question I have is, did Othello follow you into the sewers?

Anzu:Yeah, Othello would come down with this, yeah.

Argyle:Uh-oh.

Gamemaster:Okay, sorry, final question.

Argyle:I don't like your answer.

Gamemaster:Then what's the marching order?

Benny:100 feet in front of us.

Argyle:That was my stealth check, but I can go first.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:I'll go second.

Argyle:Benny, should you go last?

Gamemaster:So...

Benny:Yeah, I can go last.

Gamemaster:There is room on one of the side platforms to walk two by two.

Argyle:Two.

Argyle:No offense.

Gamemaster:I don't know if you want to do that, but I am just... Okay.

Argyle:Okay.

Anzu:I'll go second.

Anzu:We'll put Johnny third.

Argyle:Yeah, I will.

Argyle:Before we go in there and I kneel down to Benny again.

Argyle:Sorry about all that other stuff.

Argyle:I was a little cranky.

Argyle:Yeah, you should take the back.

Argyle:I think we're the strongest people here.

Argyle:No offense.

Anzu:I have strength of mind.

Argyle:All right, head over.

Gamemaster:Okay, so that's right.

Argyle:Wait, so is Anzu next to me or behind me?

Argyle:Since you said second.

Argyle:We're doing single file?

Benny:I think we should do single file.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:Sounds good.

Johnny:Perfect.

Gamemaster:That's what it sounded like.

Gamemaster:Okay, so Johnny is 100 feet in front of the party in case there are any bombs in the way.

Argyle:Oh, Johnny's here.

Gamemaster:And then the rest of you are lined up.

Gamemaster:I assume you didn't hear anything.

Gamemaster:You walked into the sewers.

Gamemaster:It looks like somebody ripped a person apart just at the sewer entrance.

Gamemaster:And so there's blood and viscera splattered all over the walls.

Gamemaster:Yes, two people are raising their hands.

Argyle:You can go first, Michael.

Benny:We also had a nice conversation with the bee lady.

Gamemaster:True.

Gamemaster:You did also miss a conversation.

Gamemaster:Like, completely unrelated, you had a conversation with Cora... What was her name?

Gamemaster:I actually don't think she told you her name.

Anzu:I don't think we even asked, to be honest with you.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:Yeah, no, we didn't get her name at all.

Gamemaster:You didn't get her name.

Gamemaster:But her name is Cora Honeysap.

Anzu:Anyway, she sells honey.

Gamemaster:She sells raw honey that she makes in her attic with her bees.

Johnny:Oh.

Johnny:She in the sewer or was she out?

Gamemaster:You bought some.

Gamemaster:No, no, no, no.

Gamemaster:She was at a stand directly outside of the sewer.

Argyle:But she's pro-anti-Zorbon and was going to watch our backs when we went in.

Benny:Benny...

Benny:Yeah, and Benny did an Inception-level thing where he asked for hard candy made of honey, and she didn't have any, and maybe she's going to make some.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:You guys are just filled with ideas.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:Paid parking, hard candy for honey, which is a thing.

Gamemaster:Like, to clarify, hard candy for honey is a thing.

Gamemaster:It's just this orcish lady was not manufacturing it, and she might be in the future.

Benny:No, no, I just...

Argyle:We...

Argyle:We are businessmen through and through in all our campaigns.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Either way, you went down into the sewers.

Anzu:And now we're thinking to be stealthy.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:So I would like stealth checks from people who haven't rolled yet.

Gamemaster:I have the 19 from Argyle, but... Odds, you got a 20.

Benny:Of course.

Gamemaster:Not bad.

Gamemaster:That's pretty sweet.

Johnny:i got a 15. we're back in the sewers

Gamemaster:Johnny got a 15.

Gamemaster:And Benny got a 17.

Gamemaster:The most noticeable person is Ringo Starr.

Gamemaster:Either way, so you are not quite hugging the wall, but like single file, the four, five-ish of you are creeping along the wall following the direction of this blood and viscera.

Gamemaster:There is a kind of trail formed by something that was dragging you along.

Gamemaster:You come up to, very quickly, like maybe 30 feet in, there's a corner that turns to the right.

Gamemaster:You're on the right wall and it turns to the right.

Gamemaster:And you can, at this point, no perception checks necessary, hear the sound of rustling, like something's moving around the other side.

Gamemaster:I will accept, specifically from Argyle, because he's in front, you can make a single perception check at this point to peek around the corner stealthily and see what's going on there.

Argyle:Heh heh heh heh heh.

Johnny:you you

Benny:He's going to look like...

Anzu:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Yeah, basically.

Gamemaster:Scooby-Doo it.

Gamemaster:A 15.

Gamemaster:A 15 is enough to see, like, basic stuff.

Gamemaster:What you see is down the way, you can see that it goes on for about another 30 feet, and there is, at the end, a small humanoid figure, maybe, like, three feet tall, emaciated, whitish-bluish skin, completely bald.

Gamemaster:kind of hunched over with blood-stained hands, rifling through what looks to be a small boat that's docked, like tied up against the side of the sewer.

Gamemaster:Just like digging through stuff inside of it.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:You see every once in a while, it pulls up a piece of fabric that looks like it could be a shirt or something, sniffs it, and then just chucks it behind it and keeps digging through.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Johnny:All right.

Johnny:Did we look through the body of the guy who got torn in half back at the sewer entrance?

Gamemaster:You haven't seen it.

Gamemaster:You've only seen the bits of the guts that went flying from the guy being torn, but you haven't actually seen the guy.

Gamemaster:So you're just kind of following the trail.

Johnny:My apologies.

Gamemaster:And kind of a little bit across the way from this weird scrunched-over humanoid thing is a taller-looking human man wearing some kind of ceremonial robes, holding a staff, looks to be a caster of some kind, maybe in charge of this weird humanoid thing.

Argyle:Bye.

Gamemaster:Yes, Tanner?

Anzu:And I peek around him having seen these.

Anzu:Am I able to kind of peek my head and also see them?

Anzu:Do I recognize, I guess, first anything identifiable about the robes or the getup of this individual in charge?

Gamemaster:You can make an occultism or a religion check.

Anzu:Oh, and I have a thing.

Benny:Mm.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Congrats.

Anzu:Actually, I don't think that it gives me any boon in this moment, but I'm schooled in secrets.

Johnny:you

Anzu:You notice the signs and symbols that members of mystery cults and other secret societies use to declare their affiliation to fellow members.

Anzu:No, it doesn't apply to this particular role, but I will make my occultism check.

Argyle:Should I go jump him?

Argyle:Benny.

Benny:Yeah.

Argyle:Should I go?

Benny:That looks like the anti-Benny.

Anzu:I got a 25.

Argyle:I'll fuck him up.

Gamemaster:With a 25... With a 25, there is... It is clearly some kind of...

Argyle:Anti-Benny, why?

Benny:Nice eyes, evil.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:a cult-like garb.

Gamemaster:There isn't any immediate symbology there that would tell you what flavor of wackadoodle they are, so to speak.

Gamemaster:But there is very obviously some kind of...

Gamemaster:uh intention to what they're wearing uh it's it's like this it's a mix between a robe and armor almost because you can see beneath the like reddish bluish robe there are hardened pieces uh of some material that provides it it's for battle it's not just for uh like running around the house um but unfortunately with that that role you're not sure from where or for whom

Anzu:Uh-huh.

Argyle:You make a religious check, religion check.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Gamemaster:You can make a religion check.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Argyle:And then I'm going to start moving.

Johnny:Can I make a theater lore check?

Johnny:Maybe they wrote a play about these guys.

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:Yeah, no.

Gamemaster:I apologize.

Benny:Do these guys look like pieces of paper that Benny would be knowledgeable on how to best record events on?

Gamemaster:No, I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:And with a 16, I think the only other thing that you'd get is the small white humanoid creatures don't have raiments at all.

Gamemaster:The human does have a raiment.

Gamemaster:Not particularly large.

Gamemaster:You'd guesstimate second, third level, around there.

Argyle:Great, we can take him.

Gamemaster:Of the host.

Benny:What color?

Benny:oh this is zombocom

Argyle:Does that thing look like a zombie next to him?

Johnny:you

Anzu:Yeah, my next question was going to be if I can discern anything about the nature of the creature.

Gamemaster:That'd be a nature check.

Argyle:Can I make a medicine check?

Gamemaster:You cannot make a medicine check, though.

Gamemaster:You can make a medicine check if you're specifically trying to figure out if it's undead.

Gamemaster:Oh, yeah.

Argyle:Oh, that's what I meant.

Argyle:Yeah.

Anzu:I got a natural one.

Gamemaster:You have no idea what these things are.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:17.

Argyle:17.

Argyle:It's so weird that the level-based DC is 16.

Argyle:It feels so weird.

Gamemaster:Yeah, it feels so low, right?

Gamemaster:But it's, you know, whatever.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Compared to the 60s, you were rolling last campaign.

Gamemaster:17, it's definitely not undead.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:You.

Gamemaster:You don't get the vibe from it that it's undead.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:I will say with the 17, though, you do get the sense that it's...

Gamemaster:It's definitely alive, but it's driven by a force not quite undead, but similarly.

Argyle:Might be the Empire.

Gamemaster:You'd gather it's under the umbrella of, like, void healing, I'll say.

Gamemaster:But it's not undead.

Argyle:Let's go fuck it up.

Gamemaster:Well, actually, you know, if you're talking about that kind of stuff, I would, if you guys could open up https://btl.iridi.cc.ereddy.cc just to, like, you know, visualize the scene and all.

Johnny:No.

Benny:What a familiar map now covered in blood.

Anzu:Very clever, Josh.

Anzu:Very clever.

Anzu:Is that... No, I don't even know what I want to ask.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:I just think that's fun.

Johnny:Oh God, it's still loading for me.

Johnny:Oh gosh.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:I liked this map.

Gamemaster:It's good that we get to come back here.

Benny:It is.

Benny:I do like the layout.

Benny:I remember we killed them all in one area and then just wandered around exploring all the fun parts.

Gamemaster:You didn't kill anybody.

Benny:Is that what happened in that session?

Gamemaster:You walked through in complete diplomacy the first time, I think.

Gamemaster:I don't remember you fighting anybody.

Benny:Oh, right.

Gamemaster:This is where you first heard about the Zorbon, in the one-shot.

Anzu:Where did we come from?

Benny:Where we blew up the everything.

Gamemaster:Raelion.

Benny:Yeah.

Anzu:According to this map.

Benny:Our mothers and fathers.

Gamemaster:You came in from here.

Anzu:Can you do that again?

Anzu:Why don't I see Josh?

Gamemaster:I can actually do you one better.

Gamemaster:How about that?

Johnny:No, I'm not seeing it.

Gamemaster:Did that not do anything for you?

Anzu:I'm not even seeing your cursor on the screen.

Benny:Yeah, I don't see your cursor either.

Benny:I think your name just popped up in the bottom left now.

Gamemaster:Oh, OK.

Argyle:I see it.

Gamemaster:Well, let me try reloading, and we'll see if that does anything.

Argyle:Oh, never mind.

Anzu:That's so strange.

Anzu:Oh, I see you now.

Johnny:Oh, he's over there.

Johnny:He's on the move.

Benny:Blah, blah, blah.

Argyle:Ah!

Benny:Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Gamemaster:How's that?

Benny:Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Johnny:Get him.

Anzu:Oh, yeah, yeah.

Benny:Yeah.

Anzu:Got it.

Anzu:That makes sense.

Argyle:All right, guys.

Argyle:Should I just jump on to the caster, or do we want to do something else?

Johnny:Wait.

Johnny:I mean, I'm totally fine with that.

Johnny:Before we do that, I'll tap Benny on the shoulder and I'll say, We all float down here!

Johnny:And I'll cast Runic Weapon on you.

Benny:Brutic weapon.

Benny:I forgot what that does.

Johnny:I think at this level it just gives you an extra... I'll cast it.

Johnny:It does this.

Benny:Plus one to attack rolls and increasing the number of weapon damage dice to two.

Benny:Oh, it becomes a plus one.

Benny:We have potency but not striking at level two.

Johnny:Yeah.

Anzu:I don't think we have either do we?

Benny:We have one for sure.

Gamemaster:Um, you do have one.

Gamemaster:Uh, one second.

Gamemaster:Let me double check.

Benny:We have the one that gives, I believe, the plus one but not the die up.

Gamemaster:Uh, you do.

Gamemaster:You have weapon potency.

Gamemaster:You have plus one.

Gamemaster:You don't get striking weapon until level four, which increases the number of dice you have.

Argyle:Okay.

Benny:Nice.

Benny:So this gives me increased number of dice.

Benny:Well, actually, no.

Benny:It gives me a plus one item bonus.

Benny:The potency counts as item bonus, obviously.

Benny:It doesn't count as a potency bonus.

Gamemaster:uh uh correct you get a plus one item bonus to attack okay absolutely

Johnny:And then also before we go out, I'll just, I don't know, I'll whisper a little ditty to everyone and cast Courageous Anthem, just the regular version.

Johnny:So it's just for one round.

Johnny:You guys all get some good bonuses.

Benny:Yeah, it might be a bit of a struggle for Benny's running to get that close in a turn.

Argyle:All right, Benny, we're just rushing the agent next, or the religious man next to us, or nearest to us.

Argyle:All right, well, here we go.

Benny:Yes.

Johnny:yeah i did my i got my stuff off so

Gamemaster:Okay, I am going to have you guys enter initiative, roll initiative right now.

Gamemaster:You can do either perception or stealth.

Gamemaster:They're not going to enter the initiative order until after they've been alerted to your presence.

Argyle:Very nice of you, thank you.

Benny:I should roll here.

Anzu:Oh, I actually do better with stealth initiatives.

Anzu:That's so fun.

Benny:I don't, but I'm rolling it anyways.

Gamemaster:Why would you do it if you don't do better with stealth?

Benny:Because it's equal.

Gamemaster:No, I'm sorry.

Anzu:It didn't work for me.

Anzu:It didn't work.

Argyle:You're cursed on both platforms tonight.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Anzu:I had a good stealth check.

Argyle:Okay.

Anzu:Yeah.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Something to keep in mind.

Gamemaster:Now, nobody's done it yet, but in Foundry, if you have...

Gamemaster:hero point which you can tell by looking on the bottom screen whatever there's like a little h uh with a slider if you click on it you can give yourself a hero point if you right click on it you can take away hero point um and if you right click on something you rolled you should see an option to re-roll using a mythic point which will take one of your hero points and then re-roll it with mythic added let me know if you don't see that

Johnny:That's great.

Anzu:Oh, look at that.

Argyle:And where is our hero?

Anzu:Josh, I'm going to do it just to know it's going to change my initiative thing.

Anzu:I'm not going to do it.

Anzu:I believe that it works.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:I could see it.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Argyle:So where?

Argyle:I know I can see hero points by clicking my character sheet.

Argyle:Where do I see them on the bottom?

Anzu:There's a little H right next to the boxes that you can put stuff in.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:There's a little H, brother.

Benny:Not the big H. That's me.

Anzu:It's yellow.

Gamemaster:So you have your...

Gamemaster:Do you know where the perception, stealth, athletics, fort, reflex, middle saves are?

Argyle:Yes.

Gamemaster:To the right of that, there should be an H and a circle.

Argyle:Oh, I see it.

Argyle:I see it.

Gamemaster:And then below that is dying and wounded.

Argyle:It's the small boxes you have.

Argyle:Yes, gotcha, gotcha.

Gamemaster:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Argyle:All right.

Gamemaster:Okay, so first up is actually Benny.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:If you want, you can defer so that Argyle at the front of the line goes first, but you don't have to.

Benny:Is Argyle directly after?

Benny:If I defer, when do I go?

Gamemaster:It's Neni, Argyle, Johnny, Anzu right now.

Benny:If I defer, can I just go after Argyle?

Gamemaster:But since nobody else is going in the initiative order and you guys are hidden, you can play with that as much as you like.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you can do that.

Gamemaster:You can defer to go after Argyle.

Benny:OK.

Benny:Go for it, Argyle.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Argyle:I just ran.

Gamemaster:What did you just do?

Gamemaster:How did you get there?

Argyle:I have 30 feet, so that's two movement actions.

Gamemaster:Oh, you just ran 60 feet?

Gamemaster:Okay, sure.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Two actions.

Gamemaster:You have run up to agent of the... Absolutely.

Argyle:Yes.

Johnny:hello hello

Benny:Zorbon.

Argyle:And I will take a strike.

Argyle:Delicious.

Gamemaster:A 26 hits.

Gamemaster:You would know if you targeted him.

Argyle:That's my bad.

Gamemaster:Yeah, it is your bad.

Anzu:I agree.

Gamemaster:We're fighting now.

Argyle:No fighting that guy.

Gamemaster:12 points of damage.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:He is immediately bloodied.

Argyle:That's my turn.

Johnny:Oh.

Argyle:Did my holiness burn his skin?

Argyle:Damn it!

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:He does not take any additional damage from holy damage.

Gamemaster:But because he's bloodied, he immediately explodes.

Gamemaster:So I need you to make a fort save.

Gamemaster:He doesn't die.

Gamemaster:A wave of dark energy comes off of his body in response.

Argyle:As this wave comes out, a little golden shield resonates off him and I only take half the damage.

Gamemaster:24 is a success, I believe.

Gamemaster:What is this?

Gamemaster:This is a basic fort save.

Gamemaster:Okay, so you're going to take half of this damage.

Gamemaster:You are only going to take two points of void damage from this guy.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Johnny:This is the surprise round.

Gamemaster:And that's the end of your turn, I take it?

Argyle:I start reading him his rights.

Argyle:What's the field rights I can do?

Gamemaster:Yeah, you're holding a field trial.

Argyle:Yeah, I'm holding a field trial.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Benny:Yes.

Gamemaster:Great.

Gamemaster:Next up is Benny.

Gamemaster:Oh, actually, wait, sorry.

Gamemaster:These guys are going to enter initiative now.

Anzu:Bye.

Johnny:They're not all surprised.

Gamemaster:Well, so they're entering initiative, and anybody who rolls better than Benny effectively doesn't go until it loops back around.

Gamemaster:This is what I'm going to do here.

Benny:OK.

Johnny:Oh, no, they all didn't roll better than Betty.

Gamemaster:I haven't rolled yet.

Gamemaster:There we go.

Johnny:Oh.

Benny:So many dice.

Gamemaster:It is Benny's turn.

Benny:Benny will use all of his two movement actions.

Benny:Dang, that was two movement actions.

Benny:Yeah, we're just going to clobber this guy with my newly enhanced poly tool.

Anzu:Hell yeah.

Gamemaster:Pick.

Benny:Sorry, not poly tool.

Benny:Uh, striking pick.

Benny:Yeah, okay.

Benny:It's just extra domage.

Gamemaster:And 18 hits.

Johnny:yes

Benny:I want more.

Benny:That's good.

Gamemaster:That's a lot of damage.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:takes 18 damage.

Gamemaster:You, with your pick, just pick right into his chest and you pull the pick out and you've just made a hole in his chest.

Gamemaster:No blood comes out.

Gamemaster:It's kind of like you've just deformed the flesh inward in the shape of the edge of your pick and it screeches.

Gamemaster:Is that the end of your turn?

Benny:I didn't realize he had a club.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Johnny:Thank you very much.

Gamemaster:It is the Servant 2's turn.

Gamemaster:He's gonna step this way.

Gamemaster:Argyle, you're flat-footed now, right?

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:And then he is going to attack Argyle with his club.

Gamemaster:He has a club.

Gamemaster:I rolled poorly.

Benny:Oh, he plays bad music.

Gamemaster:So we're going to follow up with Jaws.

Gamemaster:He's going to try and bite you.

Gamemaster:15.

Anzu:Donut.

Gamemaster:I don't know.

Gamemaster:That's ridiculous.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:I am a tank, to be fair.

Gamemaster:Still, I want to attack you, and I don't think I've gotten to this campaign.

Gamemaster:So... I'm trying.

Argyle:I've only taken like three attacks, so you'll definitely get there.

Benny:You've also been in proximity of Benny, who I believe interrupted two slurp attacks.

Argyle:That is true.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:That is true, and I hate that you called it that.

Gamemaster:It is Agent One's turn across the way.

Gamemaster:I think he's just gonna... He's gonna cast Grim Tendrils at ya.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:Can he actually... He cannot reach you, so he has to spend...

Gamemaster:and action to just high-foot it across the river.

Argyle:It's getting closed.

Gamemaster:It's only like five feet deep at this point in the sewers.

Gamemaster:And now he can get you with it.

Benny:He's like lifting up his ceremony on ropes.

Benny:Like the sounds when you're running foot water.

Argyle:I might need your help over here.

Benny:Oh no, I'm moving over there next turn.

Argyle:That's more.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:So that gets you, so you need to... Do you need to do anything?

Gamemaster:Let me just ask this.

Johnny:Hello.

Gamemaster:Is there... Yeah, please make that fort save.

Gamemaster:Oh, and you made the fort save.

Gamemaster:So you're going to take half the damage and you're not going to be persistently bleeding.

Gamemaster:There we are.

Gamemaster:And then that was... That's one and two.

Gamemaster:So he will spend his third action to cast She.

Johnny:Real casters don't use shield.

Gamemaster:What do you mean, blue?

Gamemaster:He doesn't want to get hit.

Gamemaster:Johnny, it's your turn.

Johnny:I run out yelling, boo, real casters don't use shield.

Benny:you

Johnny:I don't want to go too far, but I'll go.

Johnny:I'll get right behind you.

Gamemaster:Okay, so you do have to go around the corner.

Gamemaster:You cannot, like, straight shot through the wall.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Johnny:That's a bummer.

Johnny:I'll go to right here.

Johnny:That's one movement.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:My half-elf, 30 feet.

Johnny:Let me make sure that I actually have 30 feet.

Johnny:And I didn't go too far.

Johnny:Oh, I only have 25 feet.

Gamemaster:You have 25 feet.

Johnny:I don't know why I thought I had five extra feet as a half-elf.

Johnny:I'm going back.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:Because 5E... Absolutely.

Argyle:You have to take the feat, nimble elf.

Johnny:First off, I'll cast Courageous Anthem again.

Johnny:It's still just me yelling, boo, real casters don't use shield.

Johnny:It's still up.

Johnny:I don't know why.

Gamemaster:Yeah, because it ends at the... It's one round, so it's like the end of the previous round, but we can just put it back on.

Johnny:I can just remove it and then re-add it.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Johnny:And then I will... How far away can I demoralize someone?

Johnny:He's within 30 feet.

Gamemaster:That's a good question.

Argyle:you

Johnny:He's within 30 feet.

Benny:Wait, is that the only guy within range of you?

Johnny:No.

Gamemaster:I almost just googled demoralize.

Johnny:I'll attempt to demoralize this guy that Benny is fighting.

Gamemaster:The servant.

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:He has big floppy ears, so he can hear you when you attempt to demoralize him.

Johnny:I'll just look at him and yell, real casters don't use shield!

Johnny:And that's my demoralize.

Johnny:Yeah, within 30 feet.

Benny:Ah, okay.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Unless biting words happens to have a larger range.

Gamemaster:Roll intimidation.

Johnny:Nope, nothing does.

Johnny:I think you mean performance.

Gamemaster:Oh, right.

Gamemaster:Of course.

Argyle:These guys remind me of that meme.

Gamemaster:That's who you're fighting.

Gamemaster:A 14 against this Will DC?

Johnny:Josh, there's a 14th trade.

Gamemaster:No, it is not demoralized.

Johnny:Dang, this guy really believes that real casters use shields.

Johnny:That's my turn.

Gamemaster:He's not even a caster, so... Absolutely, it's Anzu's turn.

Johnny:That's all I got.

Johnny:That was my turn.

Anzu:Okay, I'm going to move 5, 10, 15, 20, 25.

Anzu:And then I'm going to cast an Amped Telekinetic Rend.

Gamemaster:Okay, who are you telekinetically rending?

Argyle:Hell yeah.

Anzu:I could make two five-foot areas.

Anzu:And so I'm going to put one on each agent.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Argyle:Hell yeah.

Anzu:I'll select there.

Johnny:Yeah.

Anzu:And they both make basic fort saves.

Gamemaster:One of them critically succeeded.

Anzu:That's stupid.

Gamemaster:And one of them regularly succeeded.

Argyle:That's the

Benny:you

Anzu:That's stupid.

Anzu:All right, well, I'm going to roll damage anyway.

Gamemaster:The one that regularly succeeded is the one next to Argyle.

Gamemaster:All right.

Argyle:That's good.

Gamemaster:We'll take half of that.

Anzu:He takes five points of damage.

Gamemaster:He takes four points of damage.

Argyle:They're weak.

Argyle:They're squishy.

Gamemaster:Why does he take four points of damage?

Johnny:Okay.

Argyle:Resistance to legendate.

Gamemaster:He's not.

Argyle:Physical.

Gamemaster:He doesn't have, or at least I don't think he does.

Gamemaster:Why did he do that?

Argyle:Maybe as a resistance blend to magical stuff.

Anzu:I don't know.

Gamemaster:Oh, that might be it.

Gamemaster:One second.

Gamemaster:Maybe.

Argyle:Sorry for taking 20% of your damage, Tanner.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I have... Uh... Yeah.

Argyle:I'm like, wow.

Argyle:Did you check this stat?

Argyle:Did you check this one?

Gamemaster:He does.

Gamemaster:He has a benefit against saves against magic.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Anzu:Okay.

Johnny:Oh.

Anzu:Then I'm just going to cast Guidance on Johnny.

Anzu:Give him plus one to something.

Anzu:Let me cast it.

Johnny:Okay.

Anzu:Plus one to one attack roll, perception check, saving throw, or skill check.

Anzu:Can I drag this on?

Anzu:Oh, it's already been dragged.

Gamemaster:I just dragged it.

Gamemaster:It's been dragged.

Johnny:I'm guided.

Gamemaster:Okay, is that the end of your turn?

Anzu:Yes.

Gamemaster:It is a servant's turn.

Gamemaster:Specifically the one that's all the way up.

Benny:It's good.

Gamemaster:I think we're ganging up on Argyle.

Gamemaster:Because Argyle ran all the way in.

Argyle:Go for it.

Gamemaster:You are 50 feet away.

Gamemaster:What is this man's move?

Gamemaster:This man's speed is 30.

Gamemaster:So he is going to take a leap attack.

Anzu:L.T.

Gamemaster:Yeah, which allows him to stride up to twice its speed.

Anzu:L.A.

Anzu:My bad.

Gamemaster:Ignore that it's called a Morlock.

Gamemaster:I think it's dumb that it's called a Morlock.

Johnny:Eldritch Blast.

Gamemaster:I don't know why it's called... That's from the time-traveling old guy.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:I can't remember what it's called now.

Gamemaster:He goes into the future.

Gamemaster:The Morlocks are the people that live underground.

Gamemaster:But it's straight up ripped from a piece of modern media.

Argyle:Doctor Who.

Johnny:The time machine.

Argyle:Doctor Who.

Gamemaster:What?

Johnny:I think you said a warlock, not a morlock.

Gamemaster:No, no, no, no, no.

Gamemaster:Morlock.

Johnny:It's the time machine.

Gamemaster:Morlocks are from the time machine.

Benny:Like Atum, Atum Morlock.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:I know it was ultimately travels through the future.

Gamemaster:Either way, it's weird that they just... Regardless.

Johnny:at H2 Wells?

Gamemaster:He's going to move up to twice its speed, and it's going to attempt a long jump.

Gamemaster:So it's going to make an athletics check.

Benny:Come on, natural one.

Johnny:All in the water.

Benny:This would be so funny.

Gamemaster:I got a 13, which is a failure, so it makes a normal horizontal leap, which means that it jumps 10 feet horizontally.

Benny:Does it even beat the DC for a long time?

Gamemaster:Oh wait, no, sorry, it has 30 feet.

Gamemaster:It jumps 15 feet horizontally.

Gamemaster:So it can absolutely get here.

Gamemaster:And it'll make an attack on our tile.

Argyle:Go for it.

Johnny:How you doing, Argyle?

Argyle:All right.

Argyle:For now.

Argyle:I'll need help in a moment.

Gamemaster:This guy is swarming with the other one, so he gets a benefit to his attack rolls.

Gamemaster:He will attempt to attack with the club.

Gamemaster:And then I rolled really poorly after all of that buildup.

Gamemaster:So we'll just try for his third action.

Gamemaster:He'll do a Jaws attack as well, which was a better roll, but not enough.

Gamemaster:So he's just here now.

Gamemaster:And then we do the other Morlock who's just kind of locked in combat with Benny.

Gamemaster:So he's going to make... Leap attack is two actions where he gets to move twice and attack as part of those two actions.

Johnny:you you

Argyle:I didn't even get that other attack.

Argyle:The leap attack, wasn't that two?

Argyle:Ah, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.

Gamemaster:And then he just made a third attack.

Gamemaster:His third action was another attack.

Argyle:Gotcha, gotcha.

Argyle:I see.

Gamemaster:This Morlock is going to attempt a club attack on you.

Gamemaster:Bad.

Gamemaster:So then we're just going to follow up with two bite attacks?

Gamemaster:I don't expect either of them to actually hit, but we're going to try them.

Gamemaster:Yeah, no.

Gamemaster:I don't understand.

Gamemaster:These guys are at level for you.

Gamemaster:Either way, it's Argyle's turn.

Argyle:Do you have IACs for our class?

Argyle:All right.

Argyle:I'm going to attempt to conclude my trial.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:Sorry.

Argyle:What's it called again?

Argyle:Last time I'm going to ask.

Gamemaster:Field Trial.

Argyle:Field trials.

Argyle:It's totally not going to be the last time, but I'm going to try it.

Gamemaster:But it is also right.

Gamemaster:Like, that's fine.

Gamemaster:You could pick whatever words you like.

Argyle:Field trials.

Gamemaster:17 just barely hits.

Argyle:All right.

Argyle:Hey, thank you.

Argyle:Courageous anthem.

Johnny:yeah real makers don't use shields

Argyle:I should be scared that I'm getting surrounded by all these people.

Argyle:But I hear my buddy singing about how real mages don't use shields.

Argyle:And I'm like, yeah, this guy's a bitch.

Argyle:He's a fucking bitch.

Gamemaster:It's true.

Gamemaster:This guy also, this is the one that didn't get a chance to use shield.

Gamemaster:So 12 points of damage I think is enough to just kill him outright.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:It is.

Argyle:So without stopping, I'm going to just start the next rights as I then start looking at the other one.

Argyle:And I'm going to do a regular move action.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Argyle:I don't know if these guys got attack opportunities.

Gamemaster:If they do, they didn't use it.

Benny:you

Argyle:OK.

Johnny:Oh that's interesting.

Argyle:So I move here.

Argyle:I'm going to give this guy a smack.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:Actually, I would move here.

Argyle:Oh, that gets me out of the range of that?

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Gamemaster:It does.

Gamemaster:You have to be within 60 feet of...

Argyle:Oh, it looks like it's like half not in that.

Argyle:That's stupid.

Gamemaster:Yeah, if you hover over Johnny, you can see the actual squares where it applies.

Argyle:All right, I'll move right there.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Yeah, it's just that square's not fully, whatever.

Argyle:So then I will take a, yeah, that's true.

Gamemaster:Yeah, no, I get it.

Gamemaster:Listen, if we were playing on hexes, that would be easy.

Gamemaster:But we're not, because Foundry doesn't support it.

Argyle:Let me just double check.

Argyle:What does sweep?

Argyle:Yeah, so I get to sweep on this.

Argyle:15.

Johnny:Nice.

Argyle:I'm going to use a hero point.

Argyle:Where's the reroll?

Gamemaster:Right-click on it.

Gamemaster:Just right-click on it, and it should say Rerule Using a Mythic Point on the attack itself.

Argyle:Oh, hell yeah.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:That hits.

Argyle:Not a crit.

Argyle:That's so sad.

Argyle:All right.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:Eight points of damage.

Argyle:Correct.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:He takes the full eight damage.

Gamemaster:He is injured, but he is not bloodied.

Gamemaster:He is bleeding, though.

Gamemaster:Unlike the weird hunched-over humanoid things, these guys, when you cut them, they bleed like normal colors, like you would expect somebody to bleed when you attack them.

Gamemaster:He's not happy about it.

Gamemaster:That is the end of your turn, yes?

Gamemaster:Benny!

Benny:Yay.

Benny:Would it be worth it to just run up to this guy?

Argyle:It might be.

Argyle:And then the rest will just come to us.

Benny:Yeah, because these two, they got more range, and they can hit the young gentleman.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:And we'll let them come to us.

Benny:And this guy's going to get attacked.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:All right.

Gamemaster:Do an attack on him.

Argyle:Is he flat-footed?

Gamemaster:He is.

Argyle:Hell yeah.

Argyle:So mean!

Argyle:Well, you get to Hero Point if you want it.

Benny:uh yeah i'll take the i'll take the hero point no it was a 45 foot movement yeah

Gamemaster:I did not add that in.

Gamemaster:That's so fun.

Gamemaster:I like it when other people get it.

Gamemaster:You got one more action?

Gamemaster:Or is that a... Oh.

Gamemaster:Gotcha.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:It is this servant's turn.

Gamemaster:I think we're doing a good ol' stack.

Johnny:you

Argyle:Alright.

Gamemaster:What's happening?

Gamemaster:He is going to attack you.

Benny:Did he step at all?

Benny:It seems like he just moved.

Gamemaster:No, he walked.

Gamemaster:He just walked.

Argyle:I don't have attacking opportunities.

Benny:Oh.

Gamemaster:Sorry, Mike.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:You have defenses of opportunities.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:He's going to attempt a club attack on you.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:That's karma.

Benny:Oh my god.

Gamemaster:I'm not going to land a single hit this entire encounter.

Argyle:possible.

Argyle:You hurt me.

Argyle:I took two points.

Gamemaster:Yeah, but I didn't land a hit.

Gamemaster:It required forcing you to make a save.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:And I still succeeded them.

Argyle:I just didn't critically.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:It is the agent's turn.

Johnny:Not a real one.

Gamemaster:I think what the agent is going to do is he's just going to cast a three-action force barrage.

Benny:looks like a manipulate to me i don't believe he is going to be casting the forest barrage uh is he below half health no not yet i just wanted

Gamemaster:It is a manipulator.

Gamemaster:He's casting a spell.

Gamemaster:He is a spellcaster.

Argyle:Of course, the nine-year-old has a pick that hungers for blood.

Gamemaster:Um...

Gamemaster:Yeah, I would... Shield evaporates already, so we can't shield block it.

Gamemaster:Yes, go for it.

Johnny:That's nasty.

Gamemaster:No, he's not.

Gamemaster:Why, do you do something if they're bloated?

Benny:my pick does, it hungers for blood, so if they're under half health, it does two additional damage.

Gamemaster:Oh.

Gamemaster:Right, of course.

Gamemaster:Of course it does.

Johnny:That's nasty.

Gamemaster:That's standard.

Johnny:That is

Gamemaster:That's, I think, going to straight up kill him.

Gamemaster:That is.

Gamemaster:He has 29 hit points.

Gamemaster:He goes to make a magic missile attack, and in the process, many just, like, from behind him, pick through the back of the neck, out to the front, and he just slumps over.

Gamemaster:That... And... With him dead, all three of the humanoid creatures screech.

Argyle:I conclude my field trial.

Johnny:Alright.

Gamemaster:Uh...

Gamemaster:And they look immediately like they're ready to bolt.

Argyle:I try to grab the nearest one to me.

Gamemaster:We're still in initiative.

Gamemaster:I'm just letting you know that that's happening.

Argyle:OK.

Gamemaster:It is Johnny's turn, I think.

Gamemaster:Wait, how did that happen?

Gamemaster:Right, yes, it is Johnny's turn.

Johnny:I will jog up a little bit.

Benny:I killed the guy that was probably going to...

Johnny:Just to... Eh, not that far.

Johnny:Yeah, that far.

Johnny:And then I'll do another courageous anthem.

Gamemaster:Okay, just keep re-upping it.

Johnny:I'm just going to keep re-upping it.

Johnny:I wasn't sure how long this fight would last.

Argyle:That is terrifying to be the other side and there's this guy singing like chants as he's coming in.

Johnny:It's awesome.

Gamemaster:I mean, it's a pretty good buff for one action tax.

Argyle:I wouldn't have killed the other guy.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:Yeah, I wouldn't have killed the other guy.

Argyle:I wouldn't have hit.

Benny:It's a cantrip.

Gamemaster:Yeah, it's a cantrip.

Gamemaster:It just costs an action around, and everybody gets a buff.

Gamemaster:It's wild.

Johnny:Bard stuff.

Johnny:And then I'll just pick up a little rock and I'll go, bink, and cast telekinetic projectile.

Gamemaster:Now it's back.

Anzu:You get a plus 1 to your attack roll.

Johnny:Oh, no.

Anzu:It looks like your guidance might have disappeared, but it should still be there.

Anzu:No, you already have a plus 1 to the attack roll.

Johnny:I'll Flourish cast this.

Johnny:My guidance is gone.

Johnny:It's just War Pigs by Black Sabbath, but I'm doing it acapella.

Benny:The battle starts.

Anzu:Never mind.

Gamemaster:I gave it back to you.

Benny:The battle starts.

Benny:He's like starts off through the fire and flames.

Benny:Like, isn't this like an eight minute song?

Benny:He's just going to be doing this forever.

Johnny:Bye.

Gamemaster:Okay, attack.

Gamemaster:Who are you attacking?

Gamemaster:One, two, or three?

Johnny:Serving up another three.

Gamemaster:Three.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Because you are guided, hits.

Gamemaster:Ten points of damage.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:And with that, he is bloodied.

Gamemaster:Nothing happens when he's bloodied.

Anzu:Alright.

Gamemaster:You've just... You have injured this guy past half health.

Gamemaster:Anything else?

Johnny:Nice.

Johnny:No, that's all three of my actions.

Gamemaster:Okay, then it's Anzu's turn.

Anzu:Alright.

Anzu:I unleash my psyche.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Your psyche is unleashed.

Anzu:And then I'm going to cast another Amped Telekinetic Rend.

Gamemaster:OK.

Anzu:This time there's going to be on Servant 1 and 3.

Johnny:um

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:All righty, let's roll for saves for these guys.

Gamemaster:That is a failure on three and a success on one.

Anzu:Of course.

Argyle:you

Anzu:Nine points of damage.

Gamemaster:The three is just barely hanging on.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:He is so mortal.

Gamemaster:And one, that is the first time he's been injured, so he's actually doing fine.

Gamemaster:Anything else?

Anzu:Okay.

Anzu:Indeed.

Anzu:I kind of slashed through the air with those.

Anzu:And I see this guy just kind of clinging on.

Anzu:And I just kind of twiddle my fingers up above my head and just do a slice at him.

Anzu:And I'll send a side burst his way.

Anzu:He needs to make a basic reflex save.

Argyle:Elliot.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Nice.

Gamemaster:Let's see.

Gamemaster:Gets a 19.

Anzu:So that's a success, I believe.

Gamemaster:So it takes half damage.

Anzu:Hopefully this is going to be enough.

Gamemaster:He has one hit point.

Anzu:All right, that's what I was hoping you would say.

Gamemaster:That is enough.

Argyle:Yes.

Anzu:That's what I was hoping.

Anzu:And then...

Gamemaster:And you just chop its head.

Gamemaster:Clean off.

Argyle:That was very anime of Anzu.

Argyle:His eyes turn black and you see a flash of white light as... I really wanted to cast...

Benny:Absolutely.

Anzu:And then I guess with my last action, I probably just move.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:Oops.

Anzu:Hold on.

Anzu:I'm on target.

Gamemaster:Oh, unleashing a psyche is a free action.

Argyle:Yeah, buddy.

Gamemaster:Of course.

Argyle:Hello.

Anzu:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Not bad.

Anzu:I just unleash.

Johnny:No.

Anzu:It's 15, 20.

Argyle:He's on loads on them, you know?

Gamemaster:Nope.

Anzu:That's good.

Anzu:I'm just going to stay right there.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Servant one's turn.

Gamemaster:He...

Gamemaster:Okay, so the way that leap attack is worded, it can stride up to twice its speed, during which it can attempt a long jump.

Gamemaster:At any point during its movement, it can make a melee strike.

Gamemaster:So I think what's going to happen is it's just going to use the leap attack to give it an additional amount of movement as it runs away.

Gamemaster:It's not planning on attacking anybody right now.

Gamemaster:So I'm just going to roll the athletics check for it.

Argyle:He sure doesn't want to try to run past and jump above Benny.

Anzu:Thank you.

Argyle:Just to get a swing in.

Gamemaster:No.

Argyle:Nothing can go wrong.

Gamemaster:No, it just saw Benny murder somebody.

Argyle:Nothing could possibly go wrong.

Gamemaster:It's not doing that.

Argyle:He just doesn't want to try it.

Johnny:I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:It got a 26, which is a critical success.

Gamemaster:It leaps a distance equal to the check, rounded to the nearest 5.

Gamemaster:So it gets to move.

Gamemaster:It has a movement of 60, and then it gets an additional 25 feet from the leap, plus an additional 30 for its third move action.

Gamemaster:So...

Gamemaster:That's one move.

Anzu:Damn.

Argyle:It's gone.

Argyle:I am going to swing at this motherfucker.

Gamemaster:That's two moves.

Gamemaster:This is its leap.

Gamemaster:And then that's 15.

Johnny:And.

Gamemaster:And that's 15.

Gamemaster:That's its third move.

Gamemaster:Oh no.

Argyle:No one fucks with the anti-Zorbon establishment and gets away with it.

Argyle:I really wanted to use Lay on Hands on it.

Argyle:I'm hoping it's void healing, but it actually does very little damage, so I'm not going to do that.

Gamemaster:It's up to you.

Benny:Oh!

Gamemaster:That's a crit.

Johnny:Twice.

Gamemaster:This guy hasn't been hit before.

Argyle:Max damage on that.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's literally its hit points.

Gamemaster:That is enough to, in one hit, from max, just flatten it.

Anzu:that's crazy wait wait wait wait hold on

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:Twice this fight that happened.

Gamemaster:He's dead.

Gamemaster:And I think, I don't believe, unless anybody says right now that they have the movement to catch up to the one that's run off, I think we'll just say it successfully leaves.

Johnny:I do.

Johnny:I use my backstory to shoot after him.

Gamemaster:Yeah?

Gamemaster:Oh, okay, sure.

Benny:They had such little respect for me.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:Oh?

Johnny:Oh, Tanner does have something.

Anzu:Because I go before he goes again, right?

Anzu:So can I just test to see if I can do something?

Gamemaster:Correct.

Gamemaster:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gamemaster:Take your actions.

Benny:They sent the bird after me.

Johnny:It's a scary bird.

Argyle:I don't even know why they care so much.

Benny:They've got some weird bloodlust.

Benny:He barely got to hit anyone, so he wanted to.

Benny:He wanted to so bad.

Argyle:Everyone else is dead.

Argyle:I'm not going to do anything.

Benny:They were taking turns.

Johnny:Anzu just running after him.

Johnny:Knife arms, but they're just his wings.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:You've used 55 feet of your movement so far.

Argyle:Or is the Naruto run with the wings in the back?

Johnny:you

Anzu:Oh, wait.

Anzu:How is that... How is the one square 45 and then that one's... Oh, is it because of the diagonal?

Gamemaster:Diagonals and pathfinders, yes.

Gamemaster:The way that a diagonal works in pathfinder is the first diagonal you take on a turn is 5, and then the second one is 10, and then the third one is 5, and then the fourth one is 10, alternating forever.

Anzu:Okay.

Anzu:So then I would be there instead.

Gamemaster:that you can't save distances by moving short.

Anzu:Now, the line that it's drawing here goes through the wall.

Anzu:But do I have a shot eyesight on the corner of him?

Argyle:You also could have been right here, if that's any better.

Anzu:No, I think that puts me farther.

Gamemaster:Either way, you wouldn't have line of sight on the guy.

Anzu:That's so tough.

Gamemaster:Line of sight is that line that goes from your character to the other.

Gamemaster:I would say that he is cover, is probably what I would say.

Gamemaster:So he has a plus two to his AC, but you can try something.

Benny:of the bullet just tidy his eyeballs out of his head

Anzu:I don't have any more amping, but I'm just going to send a telekinetic projectile his way and see what happens.

Argyle:And stay out of here.

Johnny:I'll amp you up.

Johnny:You got this Anzu.

Gamemaster:Okay, so are you making an attack roll?

Anzu:Yeah, I'm working on it.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:The DC that you're looking to hit because he has cover is 19.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I'm sorry.

Anzu:I miss.

Benny:I want to know how sentient these things are.

Gamemaster:It hits the corner of the wall and ricochets away.

Gamemaster:And that being the end of your turn, he will get another ridiculous amount of movement and does successfully escape.

Benny:I've got to find a different line of work, even though they're like constructed Summon Beings.

Johnny:Wait, was that an attack?

Johnny:Wait, Josh, if that had been a 17, would it have hit?

Gamemaster:Yes.

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:It's normally C17, but it had cover, so you needed it at 19.

Gamemaster:What could you have done to bump up the two-hit anyway?

Johnny:I'm pretty sure he's still within range for the Courageous Anthem.

Gamemaster:The Courageous Anthem was applied.

Anzu:It applied.

Johnny:Oh, so it did.

Gamemaster:That's a 16 with Courageous Anthem.

Johnny:I just can't read.

Gamemaster:Either way, one of them successfully escapes, but you have the corpses of two, as well as the corpses of these two men that seem to be directing them in some form.

Argyle:So is this like with all this sewage runoff, is this water clean now or is it still sewagey?

Gamemaster:It's still definitely sewage-y, but substantially diluted from the sewer water that you had walked through.

Gamemaster:But yeah, so you are left in this clearing.

Argyle:I do.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:It looks as the map looks.

Gamemaster:It looks like they had cleaned up this area into a kind of hideout, but it is now strewn about with gore and viscera.

Argyle:I do the samurai thing, and I flick my axe in a way to get all the blood off it.

Argyle:And then I just put it back on my back.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Argyle:And then I kneel down to inspect these false clerics here.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Benny:Yes.

Gamemaster:You can, if you like,

Gamemaster:roll a perception check to... You can.

Johnny:Can I aid him in this perception check?

Johnny:I'm just standing over his shoulder going, look over there.

Johnny:Did you check his pockets?

Benny:I had like four hours and like $500 of AI credits.

Benny:I would do an after credit scene of this guy getting home to his wife and kid.

Benny:Howard, how was work?

Benny:We have to go.

Benny:We have to pack up immediately.

Benny:We have to go.

Gamemaster:The...

Gamemaster:The weird hunched over pale-skinned humanoid?

Gamemaster:That one?

Benny:I just keep thinking about if he's super sentient and has a family at home.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:You don't understand the people we're up against are bloodthirsty.

Benny:It didn't go good, Howard.

Benny:We have to leave immediately.

Benny:Everyone in my team died.

Benny:They're going to blame me.

Benny:We have to go.

Argyle:Shot me with his mind.

Benny:The bird shot me.

Benny:What?

Benny:He didn't even have a gun.

Benny:He shot me.

Benny:He tried...

Johnny:He held up a bullet.

Argyle:One guy was chanting some religious nutshell.

Johnny:Mind bullets.

Benny:There was a court case in the middle.

Benny:I don't know what happened.

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Benny:That kid killed my boss.

Argyle:There was a kid!

Argyle:A kid killed my boss!

Argyle:We, if you think about it, we really are a villainous group right now.

Argyle:We got this religious man with an axe and a suit.

Argyle:We got Johnny Skyfall, which is just like, I don't know, is he a JoJo adventure villain?

Argyle:From an anime.

Argyle:There's this mind bird that kills people.

Argyle:And then a kid with a pickaxe.

Johnny:Mindbird is a cool name for anything.

Argyle:We got Chucky.

Argyle:We have Chucky.

Johnny:I got a 22 to aid.

Benny:Anzu's alter ego when he puts on the eye mask.

Benny:Mind bird.

Benny:Anyways, how many thousands of dollars do you guys have on him?

Argyle:I got an ape.

Argyle:I don't know if anyone else wants to look around.

Gamemaster:Okay, so 22 to 8 is a success, so you're going to get a plus 1 to the perception check.

Johnny:She got a nine.

Argyle:So I got a nine.

Argyle:I don't know if anyone else wants to look around too.

Gamemaster:You got a 10.

Gamemaster:Oh, with the 8.

Benny:Yeah.

Argyle:No, no.

Argyle:Nine with the eight.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:And I attempt to discern what happened here, like a order of events.

Benny:I would also, I guess, like to look into the rooms and like, is there anyone, is there anything recognizable?

Benny:Not a medicine check, just if there's stuff recognizable so I can give it to someone who's better at medicine.

Gamemaster:Um, recognizable isn't like a recognizable part of a person?

Argyle:Hey, Johnny.

Benny:Yeah, like fur that we might recognize.

Gamemaster:Oh, sure.

Gamemaster:Okay, so what do I want to do for like a visual calculus check of checking out the crime scene, which is it sounds like you want to do?

Gamemaster:Because I think the default is just to have you do perception there, unless you have something else you can use to justify it.

Benny:Sure.

Benny:Like a sickle to hit?

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Oh, no.

Gamemaster:You have to justify it.

Benny:The reception check works.

Benny:21.

Gamemaster:21.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:With a 21, looking around trying to figure out what happened here, there are...

Gamemaster:I think a few things that would stand out in Benny's mind as he tries to reconstruct what's going on.

Gamemaster:The first is... The first thing that you guys noticed when you had walked in here was the splatter of blood and viscera across the wall.

Gamemaster:And as you've come in here, there's been more strewn about.

Gamemaster:Those are not...

Gamemaster:they don't match up with the methods of attack of the things that you guys just fought in the sewers.

Argyle:Ah, yeah, something else.

Gamemaster:So I think, yeah, I think Benny would probably go to something else made the mess here.

Johnny:Hmm.

Gamemaster:And these guys are what came after.

Gamemaster:I think it's probably a safe assumption to assume that the things are related, like these guys are a cleanup crew or investigation crew or something like that coming after the big bloody mess.

Gamemaster:But it is clear that the things that you fought were not what caused the mess in the first place.

Gamemaster:Looking around, it looks like there's enough blood around here to fill six or seven people, you'd say.

Gamemaster:And assuming they didn't completely exsanguinate whatever they took, that means that you'd guess that there were maybe ten-ish people here when the thing that came through and did all of the murders did that.

Gamemaster:There unfortunately isn't a lot of evidence looking around, even with a high roll.

Gamemaster:There isn't a lot of evidence as to what actually... That was a lot of dice.

Gamemaster:Oh, healing roll.

Argyle:I was just rolling a medicine roll.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:There isn't a lot of evidence as to what actually caused the murders.

Johnny:Hello.

Gamemaster:Like, there's no claw marks dragged through the floor.

Gamemaster:There isn't evidence of a struggle anywhere.

Gamemaster:So whatever did this is clearly strong enough to literally rip people in half, because that's the only thing you can think of that would cause this particular splatter of blood is somebody physically being ripped in half and multiple people that happening to at the same time.

Gamemaster:but is able to cover its tracks or not make those tracks in the first place, which speaks to something intelligent.

Gamemaster:It wasn't like they unleashed a beast that came in and wreaked havoc.

Gamemaster:It was something that is both strong and smart, was loosed into these sewers for one reason or the next.

Gamemaster:But I think the other thing that would stand out to you is for all of this, all of this gore that is around, there are no bodies.

Johnny:you you

Gamemaster:The bodies themselves were taken.

Gamemaster:This is just whatever was left when the things were killed.

Gamemaster:I think it wouldn't be hard looking through the belongings and stuff around here to identify things that you would recognize as having been part of Whiskers' little bundle of stuff that he had around.

Gamemaster:I think you can be pretty confident that Whiskers was one of the people that was here when the thing that got here and killed all the people did that.

Gamemaster:But it's hard to find, like, evidence of the actual murder, as weird as that sounds, being surrounded by gore.

Benny:you you

Gamemaster:There's a lot of evidence of people dying, but not a lot of evidence of the thing killing them.

Anzu:Do we see any scraps of tinfoil?

Gamemaster:Yes, I will say that you find scraps of tinfoil.

Anzu:That's so tough.

Anzu:Why would they do this?

Gamemaster:I think, well, so more specifically, you wouldn't find pieces of tinfoil like as if they were ripped off of somebody.

Johnny:Whiskers.

Argyle:I think I know why.

Gamemaster:You don't find any pieces of clothes like from somebody who was actively killed.

Gamemaster:You do find like folded up tinfoil hats in somebody's belongings that they weren't wearing but had been around and stuff of that nature.

Gamemaster:I just want to make clear that it doesn't look like any part of the actual people that died other than their innards was left behind.

Gamemaster:Noah had his hand up first.

Johnny:uh two things one can we rifle through these guys clothes to see if they have any interesting belongings and also is there like a clear path that wherever the first thing was went

Gamemaster:You can roll a perception check to rifle through everybody's belongings.

Gamemaster:And there is a relatively clear path.

Gamemaster:this way uh as well as this way uh you can see like looking at the map where they go the one going up north just kind of leads out to a little hidey hole they had in an area they carved out in the sewers it looks like somebody was hiding there and had been found and dragged out with the rest of them

Gamemaster:And then in the other direction, this way, it is literally a makeshift dock, something that you gather that either these people or somebody who was here before them in the sewers in Hallia had built as a way to kind of get around underneath the city itself without attracting attention.

Gamemaster:And it looks like somebody loaded them up onto a boat and sailed off downriver.

Johnny:Okay, I got a 26 to rifle through belongings.

Gamemaster:Okay, 26 to rival through belongings.

Gamemaster:The people here, like the members of The Zorbon resistance team, were not particularly well-off individuals.

Gamemaster:They were all, as you, like, rifle through this stuff, they're all homeless.

Gamemaster:Oh, okay.

Johnny:Sorry, not the people here, the dudes we just killed.

Gamemaster:Looking through the dudes you just killed, with a 26 perception, which is pretty high,

Johnny:you

Argyle:It's a crit for our level.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Gamemaster:So you definitely find each of the two spellcasters, they each had a small glass vial corked.

Gamemaster:The inside is a thick-looking black substance.

Gamemaster:Um...

Gamemaster:alchemical in nature, you can gather from this.

Gamemaster:You kind of, like, move it back and forth, and it's definitely something you could drink, but it leaves, like, a black trail on the glass as you move it in the other direction.

Gamemaster:It doesn't look like it would be comfortable to drink, but you have two of those.

Gamemaster:And then you would also find with the 26, there is on the

Gamemaster:I'm trying to figure out how on a 26 I would justify you rifling around in one of these mage's mouths.

Gamemaster:So I'm just going to say with the 26, you just do that.

Gamemaster:He has a false tooth in the back that has a small capsule on the tooth with a clear-looking liquid in it.

Johnny:I'll pull it out.

Gamemaster:Both of them have this.

Johnny:I'll look at Argyle and go, you always check the mouth.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:And it pays off.

Gamemaster:You did find something in the mouth this time.

Argyle:Poison?

Gamemaster:So to discern the alchemical-looking things, that's an occultism check.

Anzu:Yeah, can I discern anything about, is that like more of a medicine check to discern these liquids, or?

Argyle:Probably.

Johnny:You're a doctor?

Johnny:You're a scholar?

Anzu:All right.

Benny:and barbers

Gamemaster:To figure out what the liquid is, that would be a medicine check, the thing in the false tooth.

Argyle:I don't know if you guys... Well, back in the day, people who were surgeons were also basically dentists, I'm assuming.

Argyle:They didn't really have separate people.

Argyle:So I'll take out my dental tools.

Argyle:And barbers.

Anzu:I'll do the occultism.

Johnny:Our girl's out here pulling teeth.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:I don't know if technology has advanced past that point.

Anzu:I got another natural one, so let me just think about that, because I do have a hero point.

Argyle:I also got their molars for identification purposes.

Anzu:Whatever.

Gamemaster:You got a 28 medicine check?

Johnny:I imagine you pulled them all out individually and you're like, we can reconstruct them into a bite palette.

Gamemaster:One second.

Argyle:And a crypt.

Argyle:I also get a hero point because I create on medicine.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Okay, so with a crit, I think... You've never seen this specific poison before.

Gamemaster:It is this clear liquid.

Gamemaster:The only real interesting note of it that distinguishes it from water is...

Gamemaster:there is a small bubble of air that got caught in one of these false teeth, probably from some imperfection when they installed it in the mouth.

Gamemaster:And the bubble of air is on the bottom of the thing, which implies that it is less dense than air.

Gamemaster:And I think in your education, you would have been taught about this particular thing.

Johnny:And.

Gamemaster:This is a mythotoxin.

Gamemaster:which is a kind of poison produced from the fresh venom of a mythic creature, which is a creature that has a relatively powerful blessing from a god, or a god-like entity of some kind.

Gamemaster:They're rare.

Gamemaster:They're worth a pretty penny, because they're very difficult to manufacture.

Gamemaster:And you know that if this person had bit down on his tooth, he would have effectively instantly died.

Johnny:We did that for him, so.

Argyle:It's a good thing we didn't use a crusher on the head.

Anzu:Guess he didn't want to talk.

Gamemaster:To note, this poison can sap mythic energy from somebody.

Argyle:We just cut him.

Gamemaster:If you fail on it, you can lose mythic points.

Johnny:Oh, maybe you, do you have to swallow it or can you like just flick it on someone and have it be absorbed through the skin?

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:It needs to be ingested.

Gamemaster:Some mucus membrane.

Argyle:We got to sell it.

Gamemaster:Each of these tooth worth things are 100 gold pieces per.

Gamemaster:If you can find somebody to sell it to.

Johnny:That's pretty good.

Argyle:We got a guy.

Anzu:I got a 29 occultism on, I think it was the black liquid.

Johnny:Sure.

Johnny:Smiler would take.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:So these viscous black liquids, with a 29, you can go through this checklist you have of here's how I identify different alchemical components.

Gamemaster:These are oil of unlife vials.

Gamemaster:Lesser oil of unlife.

Gamemaster:Which is kind of like a healing potion, but for somebody with void healing.

Argyle:These people, I know they had raiments for the host.

Argyle:Do they look like they're part of the Iridescent Church?

Gamemaster:the like no religion check necessary the things that they're wearing right now are not like standard Iridescent Church iconography that doesn't necessarily mean that they aren't but what they're wearing right now does not scream to you like Iridescent Church yeah one from each

Argyle:Yeah.

Anzu:Interesting.

Anzu:And it was two of those files?

Anzu:OK.

Anzu:Was there anything in particular in the little boat over here that the creature was rifling through?

Anzu:Or was it just junk?

Gamemaster:No, like, rifling through it, it looks like it was mostly junk.

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Like, food cartons, torn up clothing, a tinfoil hat or two, but, like, that had been well crumpled and then kind of unfurled a little bit because they didn't mean to crumple it.

Anzu:Mm-hmm.

Anzu:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Nothing that would, you know... I...

Gamemaster:I think it's non-obvious to you what these people were doing here in the aftermath of the people being taken.

Gamemaster:Like, they were clearly searching for something, but what I don't think you would be able to discern.

Anzu:Are we able to enter this room down here that I've moved myself to?

Argyle:I guess we should search for something.

Johnny:I wouldn't say we should.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you can go through the doors and stuff like that.

Gamemaster:It's a lot of the same.

Gamemaster:I don't think there would be... They didn't, like, keep a diary or anything like that, because everybody knows the Zorbon can read.

Gamemaster:But, like, it's really just more... It's clear that there were some people living down here as an alternative to living on the streets, but they're gone now.

Johnny:uh josh this dock this dock down here um is it like a one-way sort of thing where there's like a straight shot somewhere or

Anzu:Well, this is very upsetting.

Gamemaster:So the dock is fed from upriver and moves downriver.

Gamemaster:It looks like this is a kind of... I don't know if tributary is the right term.

Gamemaster:It's a kind of underground offshoot of the main river that runs through Calaria.

Gamemaster:That's just kind of... Whoever found this originally noted that.

Gamemaster:And so this, at some point you gather, either rejoins up...

Gamemaster:with the river in Hallia, or it goes further into the earth.

Gamemaster:Because those are really the only two options, because you know that there isn't a second river leaving Hallia.

Gamemaster:So it either goes back up and reconnects, or it goes down.

Gamemaster:But it's not becoming its own separate thing.

Gamemaster:Yes?

Argyle:Does it look like there's a boat that we think these people came from?

Johnny:Bye.

Argyle:Do we have an idea how they got here?

Argyle:Do we think they came from the dock?

Gamemaster:No, with the perception checks that you guys have made, you have not found an indication of how the thing that originally got here got here.

Gamemaster:Korra up on the surface did not mention that strong scary thing or that these weird creatures came through, so you can gather that they didn't come from...

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:the surface.

Gamemaster:But you are in the underground sewer complex of Hallia.

Gamemaster:There are plenty of ways in and out of this particular area.

Gamemaster:It's not made to be defensible.

Gamemaster:It's made to take care of poop.

Argyle:Yeah, so does anybody have a detect magic that they could try looking around for something?

Johnny:I kind of want to follow.

Argyle:Also, should we just bring these bodies to our cop fellow?

Argyle:Should we follow where that other guy went?

Johnny:You know, if any of them might be alive.

Johnny:I think we should take a look and go after them.

Anzu:You think we should take the boats?

Benny:Yes.

Argyle:Well, the thing that ran away didn't use the boat.

Argyle:It ran...

Benny:But they took the bodies on the boats.

Benny:I mean this is almost certainly connected to the people that were doing augury.

Benny:They need the bodies for the augury.

Argyle:Do you think they killed them?

Johnny:you gentlemen feel like a feel like a ride in the maybe they knocked them all out here started the bleeding and they're gonna kill him down there remember um our pixie friend who we couldn't save was bleeding pretty badly too what do you say gentlemen feel like a nautical outing

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:I'm ready.

Argyle:I do.

Argyle:Did anyone get hit, by the way?

Anzu:All I need is 10 minutes to just kind of have a mental reset, and I'm ready to go.

Argyle:Do I need to...

Argyle:You know, I got some nice new honey I'm making into a salad.

Johnny:My bell bottoms are not doing well in the sewers.

Argyle:Oh, I can't really help you with that, but, uh, alright.

Gamemaster:Heal his bell bottoms.

Argyle:Yeah, you're really unloaded on that guy.

Benny:You can do it on the boat.

Johnny:Can you do it on the boat?

Anzu:I mean, I could.

Anzu:I don't know how long our journey's going to be on the boat, but I could do it on the boat.

Anzu:I'm open to it.

Benny:How about you start relaxing?

Benny:What do you do?

Benny:Do you say goose frappa and breathe?

Argyle:you

Anzu:Um... No, I definitely don't say whatever that is.

Anzu:Um... No.

Benny:You don't say goose frappa?

Johnny:Is that a reference to something?

Anzu:But...

Johnny:No, but I looked up goosefraba and it did come up.

Benny:Yeah.

Benny:Have you ever seen the movie with Atum Sandler and Jack Nicholson called Anger Management?

Benny:Atum...

Benny:Atum Sandler's character has anger issues and Jack Nicholson is like his forced mandated anger counselor and just pisses him off the whole movie.

Argyle:So should we go down the way we saw that thing and take the boat that way?

Argyle:Or are we going to go just take the boat wherever the boats are going?

Johnny:I think wherever the boats are going, that's where they're all ending up.

Argyle:All right.

Johnny:Do we think that we'll have enough time for Anzu to refocus?

Johnny:Because I feel like we're going into some danger.

Johnny:So I'd rather be safer than sorry.

Argyle:I think you should refocus.

Johnny:All right.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:Yeah.

Johnny:Everyone take 10.

Gamemaster:10 minutes per focus point?

Argyle:Yeah, I'll actually take a minute.

Argyle:I'll be right back.

Johnny:Everyone take 10.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:I'll do some stretches.

Anzu:Is there a refocus in Foundry?

Gamemaster:I mean, there isn't... Like, you don't need to roll anything.

Gamemaster:You can just give yourself more focus points.

Anzu:Just give myself, yeah.

Gamemaster:Yeah, for every 10 minutes you spend meditating, you get another focus point.

Anzu:Oh, I thought I'd get them both back after the 10 minutes.

Gamemaster:No, unless you have something that lets you do that, which you might.

Gamemaster:I just know the original rule used to be that you could only ever regain the last focus point you spent, so refocusing only gives you one.

Anzu:Let me take a look.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:But then I believe in the remaster they changed it to you can refocus as many times as you like, and each time you get another focus point back up to your max.

Gamemaster:You might have a feature that changes that, but that is the default.

Benny:He did everything.

Anzu:If you've spent focus points only to amp Psy Cantrips or fuel psychic abilities since the last time you refocused, you regain two focus points when you refocus.

Gamemaster:Nice.

Johnny:All right.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:All right, let's go.

Johnny:Let's get to it.

Benny:We're shipping off.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:So...

Gamemaster:You?

Gamemaster:You're all hopping in a boat and then taking it downriver, wherever that goes?

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Johnny:I mean of all of our groups this one is definitely the most cartoonish

Argyle:What a what a group of loons.

Anzu:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:That's, you know...

Argyle:Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Gamemaster:Which is funny because you guys, I think, are actually probably at the outset the goodest, if that makes sense.

Argyle:Probably.

Gamemaster:You've been the less immediately greedy.

Gamemaster:And I don't get the vibe from your characters that you want to found your own country.

Gamemaster:So, you know, points, I suppose.

Argyle:That was one of my character ideas.

Benny:Wait, hold on.

Benny:Hold on.

Benny:Is Benny docking the group points by wanting to short umbrella manufacturers going into a...

Gamemaster:Yeah, a little bit.

Johnny:Thank you.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Just a teeny bit.

Gamemaster:But, yeah, it happens.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:So, I guess this is probably going to default to Benny as the resident driver?

Gamemaster:I think I'm either going to have a reflex save or a survival check to manage this rickety boat as it travels downstream.

Gamemaster:There is an oar, so it is possible to steer.

Gamemaster:But there is a non-negligible current moving downstream, so once you go, it'll be a little harder to come back.

Benny:Okay.

Benny:What were the rules you said?

Benny:Survival check or... We'll go with reflex save.

Gamemaster:Reflex save.

Gamemaster:I will allow either.

Argyle:Wait one second.

Argyle:Well, right before we left, when Anzu was taking his 10 minutes, I have tried looking around just to see if I found something.

Argyle:I don't think I'm going to find anything, but just see if I found something of interest in the area.

Gamemaster:just in the whole sewer?

Gamemaster:I... Yeah, sure.

Argyle:Just do some... They were looking for something, so I don't want to waste my time with the 10 minutes.

Johnny:Hello.

Gamemaster:If you want during the ten minutes to just wander around, roll a perception check.

Argyle:I don't expect anything of it.

Argyle:I don't expect anything.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:We'll see if you get a five billion, and then maybe something will happen.

Argyle:Yeah, no, no, no.

Argyle:All right.

Argyle:It's okay.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:With a 17.

Argyle:17.

Argyle:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, the rest of your crew has already done a pretty good teardown of the area, so nothing new stands out to you.

Argyle:Can I use my... Will it potentially damage my axe if I try to use it as an extra ore to paddle?

Gamemaster:Um...

Gamemaster:I'd say it probably would, because the orc could hit the bottom.

Gamemaster:You can do it if you want, either extra speed or extra maneuverability, but it might do a temporary debuff to your attack if you roll particularly lowly.

Argyle:Nah, it's not worth it.

Argyle:Could I grab another ore from a different ship?

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:Yeah, I'll do that.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:You have two orts now.

Argyle:I just wanted to be like Ki-Rin.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:Ki-Rin?

Argyle:Whatever.

Benny:Reflex save.

Gamemaster:Charon?

Johnny:Share in the button.

Gamemaster:Sharon?

Gamemaster:Whatever you want to call them.

Gamemaster:It's not a completely unreasonable pronunciation of Charon is to call him Sharon.

Gamemaster:That's how that phoneme was pronounced by the Greeks.

Gamemaster:But if you said, oh yeah, Sharon's taking me to the underworld, people would give you weird looks.

Johnny:Me and Sharon are going to the underworld this weekend.

Gamemaster:Sharon charges you money to go to the underworld, which is kind of cheap of her.

Gamemaster:So, what are we doing?

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Are we having... I guess it doesn't need to be many.

Gamemaster:Anybody has to either roll a reflex save or a survival check, but whoever does that is going to be the point man for this boat moving forward.

Benny:Benny, reflex save.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:Can I try to make some strength save to just slow us down to give him advantage with an aid?

Anzu:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Okay, so he's steering the boat with one of the oars.

Gamemaster:You have another oar.

Gamemaster:You tell me how you think that you're slowing the boat down without disrupting Benny.

Argyle:I could be bringing it on both sides, you know, and then just like slow in it.

Argyle:That's it.

Gamemaster:I'll let you make an athletics check, but I will say that if you do particularly poorly, it will make it harder for Benny.

Argyle:What do you say, Benny?

Argyle:You want it?

Benny:What's your athletics?

Argyle:Eight.

Benny:Go for it.

Argyle:Nineteen.

Gamemaster:Uh, 19.

Gamemaster:Okay, you... I'm effectively playing this like an aid.

Argyle:That's what I was hoping.

Gamemaster:He'll have a plus one to this check.

Argyle:We have Ro over at the Citadel.

Argyle:Is it the Citadel?

Argyle:No.

Gamemaster:Uh... The Citadel.

Argyle:What's the place where the Scale is again?

Argyle:Oh, yeah.

Gamemaster:I think.

Argyle:The Citadel.

Argyle:So we got Ro in school, so slow us down.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Help crew.

Gamemaster:Okay, sure.

Argyle:Crew, yeah.

Argyle:You guys really should come over to the Citadel.

Gamemaster:Okay, wow.

Argyle:It's very nice.

Argyle:There's a lake on top of the mountain.

Johnny:um oh

Argyle:It's very nice.

Benny:24.

Gamemaster:So, part of this is you don't really have to...

Gamemaster:You don't have to steer this all that much.

Gamemaster:The general flow of the river is such that the middle of this underground river is a relatively straight shot.

Gamemaster:And then water that goes off to the sides hits the rocks and then gets pushed inward.

Gamemaster:So there is a natural force kind of keeping you on the middle part of this river.

Gamemaster:It is dark.

Gamemaster:Do we all have dark vision, or are we lighting a torch?

Gamemaster:Or by a torch, I mean a flashlight.

Gamemaster:What is the plan here?

Johnny:I got dark vision, do you guys?

Benny:Benny has a low light.

Argyle:I got yeah.

Johnny:I got low light vision.

Anzu:Yeah, I only have low light vision, so I can't see nothing.

Johnny:I can press... I'll press to deshade.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Yeah, it is completely dark once you make it even a little bit past the sewer.

Gamemaster:You've entered a clearly wild part of the city, untamed.

Johnny:I...

Gamemaster:Nobody's bothered to come here because it's not been worth it, as best you can tell.

Gamemaster:It's not part of the sewers or anything like that.

Gamemaster:It's just adjacent and sourced from the same river.

Benny:Shall we turn on a torch then?

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:I was going to hold one up behind too to make sure we're not being followed by anything.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Argyle:Someone hold a torch in the front.

Gamemaster:Yep, you light up.

Gamemaster:You know those hurricane lanterns?

Gamemaster:You have an incandescent version of one of those that you can hold up and it illuminates the area around you.

Gamemaster:Yes, Noah?

Gamemaster:You can do that.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Gamemaster:Just to make sure that nothing's following you.

Gamemaster:I will take perception checks then from the torchbearers.

Johnny:11. i'm wearing dark sunglasses underground with a torch right next to my face i can't see anything we'll just tie him up and he's like

Argyle:That's Anzu and Johnny, right?

Gamemaster:Whoever's holding up the torches.

Benny:Yeah.

Anzu:Oh.

Anzu:Okay.

Anzu:Will do.

Argyle:Anzu, my man.

Argyle:I know Anzu can't fly, at least yet, but can he glide with the boat like a seagull?

Anzu:No, but Othello will do that for sure.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Like a kite.

Johnny:Nothing to say.

Anzu:We don't see nothing.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:What was the best that we got?

Anzu:Thirteen.

Gamemaster:13.

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, that is not really... I mean, you can see the rock wall around you.

Gamemaster:There isn't much else to glean from your environment that you can tell.

Gamemaster:You are being pushed forward relatively rapidly at this point.

Gamemaster:You've been on the boat now for maybe a little over 10 minutes, and you feel that you've made considerable distance.

Gamemaster:It is...

Gamemaster:difficult to get like a particularly good bearing on quite how fast you're moving uh because the only the the only um

Gamemaster:The only thing you can use to take a metric of that is the craggy rock walls, which are moving fast enough that it's just kind of hit fast in your head.

Gamemaster:You wouldn't be able to differentiate between 15 to 20 miles an hour.

Gamemaster:At this point, you are starting to get into the point where the cave is widening.

Gamemaster:a little bit.

Gamemaster:The two walls to either side at this point had been curving slightly, as if it was taking you further away from the city center, and now those walls are pulling apart.

Gamemaster:I would appreciate a survival check here.

Johnny:I have survival.

Johnny:Apparently.

Johnny:I feel like this is important.

Johnny:I'm going to use my hero point.

Gamemaster:25.

Argyle:We thank you for your service.

Johnny:25.

Johnny:Much better.

Gamemaster:Okay, so you can pick up a few things here.

Johnny:Or.

Gamemaster:First, you are heading away from the river.

Gamemaster:This is not going to, at least unless it makes a sudden turn the other direction, this is not going to rejoin up with the surface river that runs through Alia.

Gamemaster:This has become its own fully independent underground river heading somewhere else.

Gamemaster:In addition with that rule...

Gamemaster:The reason you're going so fast isn't because of the speed of the water that you're in.

Gamemaster:It's because gravity is helping a little bit.

Gamemaster:There is a downward decline to this particular river.

Argyle:Oh no.

Anzu:Oh boy.

Gamemaster:And the third thing you note with that survival check is there's a little bit of white foam starting at the edges of this cave, which tells you both that the water's moving fast enough to crest, and that there is an underwater current below the water here that's circulating the water downward and forward, which would imply to you...

Argyle:That's it.

Gamemaster:with that survival check, that there is a drop coming up that would be pulling that wall forward in that fashion.

Johnny:Oh, I'm very glad that I used that hero point.

Benny:you

Johnny:I will relay this to my companions and start looking for like a dock or something up ahead somewhere.

Johnny:I take my sunglasses off and roll a 27.

Gamemaster:I'll take another perception check from people looking around for a dock, if that's what you're going for.

Argyle:I will attempt to slow this down more than I was before.

Gamemaster:Before it was just to make it easier to steer thing.

Gamemaster:Now it's to prevent you from falling over some unseen thing in the future.

Argyle:I'll use a hero point for this.

Gamemaster:That was the only thing stopping you.

Benny:Bye.

Gamemaster:It was specifically... Okay.

Gamemaster:And that's hero-pointed, the 32?

Argyle:I got a 32 on my hero with my mythic.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Oh, I can't hear you.

Gamemaster:I knocked a cable out, and now everybody's mute.

Gamemaster:One second.

Anzu:I'm speaking to help test it for you.

Gamemaster:All right, I'm back.

Johnny:Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:I know that you're pretending to talk right now, Mike.

Argyle:Yeah, that was me.

Gamemaster:Don't do that.

Gamemaster:Everybody else is talking, so...

Gamemaster:Okay, sorry, so we got a 32 for the strength check to slow down and then a 27 for the perception check, looking out for a doc or something like that.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Gamemaster:32 strength check, that's easy.

Gamemaster:You are fighting against the current below the boat right now.

Gamemaster:And with that strength check, I think that is enough.

Gamemaster:You don't come to a standstill, but you've definitely slowed down a bunch to the point that there's crests of waves that are hitting the back of the boat and splitting because it's almost like hitting a rock.

Argyle:Hell yeah.

Gamemaster:from the perspective of the water.

Argyle:Hell yeah.

Gamemaster:You're still moving forward, but you're moving forward much, much more slowly, maybe like two or three miles an hour at this point.

Gamemaster:With the 27 perception check looking around, no dock.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:But that perception would be good enough to catch...

Gamemaster:The drop.

Gamemaster:The water in front of you, the walls of the cave split abruptly, about 40 feet in front of you at this point, into this large open cavern, where it looks like the water just moves forward and then disappears from view, and you gather that's headed straight down.

Gamemaster:There isn't a dock, which means that anything that normally travels over this, if the expectation is that it goes over the...

Gamemaster:It goes over the waterfall, has some sort of protection built in.

Gamemaster:This boat is not the, like, magically enchanted featherfall boat that you can just grab onto to get through a fall.

Gamemaster:This boat will go over, and if the fall is even slightly far down, which, since you can't actually hear the water hitting anything...

Gamemaster:this is a far drop down.

Gamemaster:This boat will not survive that.

Gamemaster:You're not even sure you would survive that fall.

Anzu:Well.

Gamemaster:But there are like...

Gamemaster:The cavern that opens up here does have a small lip running around it.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:And with your perception check, you can see that there is actually an elevator, like a kind of lift, built into the cavern on the far side of the wall.

Gamemaster:So it's clear that there are people who have been here.

Gamemaster:There is artificial construction.

Gamemaster:You would just need some way to get off of the boat, onto the lip of the cave, around the other end of the cave, to the bit that the people have constructed.

Gamemaster:It is possible, it's just not possible staying on the boat as it goes over the edge.

Benny:Benny would like to... Oh, God.

Johnny:I pulled my grappling gun.

Benny:Actually... Benny would like to... I don't see the grappling gun.

Gamemaster:Sorry?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:I pulled my grappling gun.

Argyle:How far is the other way?

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:So, the drop is about 40 feet out in front of you, and the edges of the cave are 20 feet in either direction.

Benny:Benny would like to...

Benny:change from using his oar for navigation to full steam towards one of the towards the lip zero point

Gamemaster:Okay, that is, now that you're no longer navigating, that would be an athletics check to try and steer yourself towards one of the walls, because you are actively fighting against a pretty strong current at this point.

Johnny:Josh, is it really smooth on the walls?

Argyle:I'm also ready to use my grappling gun.

Gamemaster:Is it smooth?

Johnny:Yeah, are the walls smooth?

Gamemaster:No, no, no, no, no.

Gamemaster:They're, like, super craggy.

Gamemaster:It's not been... The bit that the water's passing has smoothed just over time from friction from the water, but the cave itself has got these craggy, like, outcroppings and the like from it just, like, naturally falling over time.

Benny:Oh, here's a hero.

Gamemaster:Is that... That's a 31.

Gamemaster:Oh, okay.

Benny:Yeah, here's a hero.

Gamemaster:I was going to say, that's a ridiculously high number.

Johnny:um can i pull can i use my grappling gun and try and hook it onto

Gamemaster:Okay, with a 31, that won't get you all the way there, but it's definitely a critical success.

Gamemaster:And so it pushes you closer towards, like, the left half of the cave.

Gamemaster:You get, like, two-thirds of the way there, so you're, like, seven or eight feet away from the edge of the cave.

Gamemaster:And the time it takes for you to do that, you are now maybe 20 feet away from the fall.

Johnny:like a rocky outlet and hook us on there?

Gamemaster:I think the answer is yes.

Gamemaster:Let me just see what I'm going to make you roll.

Gamemaster:Grapple gun.

Johnny:Performance?

Johnny:Feels like performance.

Gamemaster:It's definitely not performance.

Johnny:What if I do it with, what if I pull some sparkles from my pocket and go like this?

Argyle:Batman!

Gamemaster:So what you're supposed to do is make a ranged attack roll using your simple weapon proficiency.

Johnny:I can just make an attack roll on Foundry.

Gamemaster:So...

Gamemaster:What is your simple weapon proficiency, Johnny?

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's fine.

Gamemaster:It's a simple weapon, so I think you have plus four on that.

Johnny:Is this with strength?

Gamemaster:Yes.

Gamemaster:I believe all attacks are with strength.

Johnny:Oh, this is my fighting fan.

Johnny:All right.

Johnny:There we go.

Johnny:My fighting fan is all.

Johnny:19.

Gamemaster:19's pretty good.

Gamemaster:That is a success.

Gamemaster:So... You aim your grappling gun just at the wall.

Gamemaster:You pull the trigger.

Gamemaster:There's a burst backwards as it kind of pushes you backwards with a strength that I don't know if you've ever fired a grappling gun before, so you wouldn't have expected.

Gamemaster:It embeds itself in the rough cliff wall.

Gamemaster:The hook is 100 feet.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:So you're like eight feet out.

Gamemaster:The spike embeds in the wall, and then there's 100 feet of loose wire, and then there's the gun that you're holding in your hand.

Gamemaster:But you do have it.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:To reload the grappling gun, it takes a minute.

Anzu:How far are we from the ledge right now?

Gamemaster:Yes, Tanner.

Gamemaster:From the cave edge, you're about eight feet away.

Benny:Go ahead.

Gamemaster:From the drop, you're 20.

Anzu:Isn't eight feet easily jumpable?

Argyle:Yeah.

Anzu:I'm going to jump.

Gamemaster:Yeah, absolutely.

Benny:Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Benny:Oh, you mean to the ledge?

Benny:Okay.

Gamemaster:Yeah, okay, so...

Gamemaster:So long as your movement speed is at least 15 feet, you can jump 10 feet horizontally.

Gamemaster:Oh, wait, sorry.

Gamemaster:Never mind.

Gamemaster:I take it back.

Gamemaster:You cannot leap unless you can... I think you need to be able to move, don't you?

Anzu:Oh, because you need to get a start?

Anzu:Well, there's a... Alright, everybody jump on three.

Gamemaster:Oh, no, never mind.

Gamemaster:That's just for a long jump.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Long jump requires you stride a regular leap.

Gamemaster:You can jump up to 10 feet horizontally.

Gamemaster:Yeah, no.

Johnny:oh

Gamemaster:So one action, no check required.

Argyle:I'll jump after Johnny.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:All right, we all jump.

Gamemaster:You can jump if you like.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Gamemaster:You all jump onto the ledge, foregoing the boat that you used to bring you here, and you watch as it sails over the edge and then plummets.

Gamemaster:No sound.

Gamemaster:You don't ever hear it hit the bottom.

Anzu:Alright, well that probably would have been pretty bad for us.

Benny:Maybe there is no bottom.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:Give me one minute to rewind this.

Argyle:One quick thing, Josh.

Argyle:I noticed my character AC is now 18 when I think it's 20.

Gamemaster:One second.

Argyle:Do I have a condition on me?

Argyle:I'm off guard.

Argyle:I'm OK.

Argyle:Never mind.

Argyle:I'm all good now.

Benny:Do I have a condition?

Gamemaster:You've been conditioned.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:So you guys are sat, or standing, I suppose, on the thin ledge of this cave.

Gamemaster:It proceeds forward about the 20 feet to get to the edge where you had watched the thing fall down, and then it kind of hugs the outer walls of the circular room.

Gamemaster:On the other side of the cavern, you can see that the ledge expands out until it looks like

Gamemaster:an actual platform.

Gamemaster:And there is what looks to be a lift built into the side that opens up onto that platform.

Gamemaster:You have hit the part that some kind of intelligent life has constructed here.

Argyle:Thanks for that.

Gamemaster:It was obviously well hidden because you and anybody else would not have known about this unless you had stumbled upon it.

Gamemaster:So it's some kind of clandestine thing.

Gamemaster:It's not like a normal mining operation.

Anzu:Did you say that the lift is on the other side of the river?

Gamemaster:No, on the other side of the, like, cavern.

Anzu:Oh.

Gamemaster:Effectively, there's, like, this river that empties out into the cavern, and then the cavern itself is this circular room about 100 feet in diameter, and hugging the walls all the way around to the cavern is this very thin ledge, like, three feet off the wall.

Anzu:Oh, okay.

Anzu:And the center of the cavern is the pit to nothingness.

Gamemaster:So... Correct.

Gamemaster:So you can, like, sidle around the pit to get to the other end.

Anzu:Noted.

Argyle:Yeah.

Anzu:Okay, okay, okay.

Argyle:Let's do that.

Gamemaster:Okay, that is an acrobatics check.

Johnny:Acrobatics.

Anzu:Whoa.

Benny:I do love being acrobatic.

Gamemaster:This is not a part of the cave that people were expected to walk across.

Gamemaster:You are hugging the side of this wall and sidling across the way.

Anzu:Josh, I have a question.

Benny:Thought I had.

Anzu:Are we making acrobatics checks to do the balance action?

Gamemaster:Hmm?

Anzu:All right, I got something for that.

Gamemaster:What you got for that?

Anzu:If I roll a success, it's a critical success, which probably doesn't matter in this scenario.

Gamemaster:Nice.

Benny:Oh my god.

Argyle:I'm going to reroll mine.

Anzu:I actually don't have a reroll, so I better succeed, or I'm in pretty bad shape.

Johnny:Oh God.

Anzu:Well, at least I don't take fall damage.

Argyle:Oh, thank God.

Gamemaster:Wait, sorry, what'd you get?

Gamemaster:Okay, 10.

Anzu:I got a 10 and I don't have a hero point.

Argyle:Do you have a grappling hook?

Benny:20.

Gamemaster:And then what did everybody else get?

Anzu:I don't know.

Johnny:16.

Argyle:I got 27.

Gamemaster:20, 16, 27.

Gamemaster:Okay, so the only failure there is Anzu.

Gamemaster:Anzu, you have one chance to grab an edge.

Gamemaster:You can attempt either an acrobatics check or reflex save.

Gamemaster:Your choice.

Anzu:I... That's so stupid.

Gamemaster:Or you can just fall.

Anzu:No, no, I'm just annoyed that steady balance only makes your successes better.

Anzu:It doesn't do anything about failures, which makes no sense to me.

Gamemaster:Yes, a reflex save or another acrobatics check is your choice.

Anzu:Okay, so what do I do to... Is that a reflex save?

Anzu:It's the same number.

Anzu:Jeez, that's probably not good enough either.

Anzu:I don't have a grapple hook.

Johnny:God.

Argyle:Do you have a grappling gun?

Johnny:Can we try and grab him?

Gamemaster:You take out your grapple gun that everybody has.

Gamemaster:Okay, so the three of you watch as your bird friend falls off of the cliff into the cavern below.

Argyle:I thought we all bought it.

Johnny:Can we grab him?

Argyle:Anyway, I can try to grab him with my 27 acrobatics.

Gamemaster:I will let you make a reflex save to try and grab him.

Gamemaster:This is like a reverse grab an edge.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Either reflex or acrobatics to try and grab onto him.

Gamemaster:The DC is higher because he's a falling target.

Anzu:Man, what a way to go.

Anzu:I'm incredibly light.

Johnny:I'm going to, as this is happening, can I pull up my grappling gun and start tying like one side, like the, oh, nevermind.

Johnny:You got it.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I mean, I have to give it to a critical success.

Gamemaster:I will say that you can grab onto him after he's already left the ledge.

Gamemaster:You, like, reach down one arm on the cave, other arm on him.

Argyle:Pull him up.

Argyle:He's light.

Argyle:He's light as a feather.

Gamemaster:Yeah, he's light as a feather.

Gamemaster:His bones are hollow.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:And stiff as a board, huh?

Argyle:I look at him and I go, you don't get your rights yet.

Gamemaster:What?

Gamemaster:Uh, yeah, I...

Anzu:Well, that could have been bad.

Gamemaster:With that, that will be enough that you can pull him up and he doesn't plummet into the abyss below.

Gamemaster:And you sidle over to the other side of this cavern.

Gamemaster:Can I get a nature or religion check to discern where you are?

Gamemaster:And then a perception check to look around the platform that you're currently on.

Johnny:All perceived.

Argyle:I'll do religion.

Johnny:He got a really good look.

Argyle:24 on my religion.

Benny:I shall perceive.

Gamemaster:Okay, that's two perceivers.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:can there also be a nature or have we made enough rules?

Gamemaster:No, there can be a nature as well.

Anzu:You shouldn't have said that, Josh.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Let's see.

Gamemaster:Let's do the nature and religion checks first.

Gamemaster:What did we get for the religion check?

Argyle:It was a non-crit 24.

Benny:24.

Benny:You're 25.

Gamemaster:And then also Crit24 was the nature chick.

Anzu:Crit 25.

Benny:Funnier than 24.

Gamemaster:Hot damn.

Gamemaster:I know that's a Spongebob joke.

Gamemaster:You can't get me.

Gamemaster:Nothing gets past this mind if it's a Spongebob joke.

Benny:True.

Gamemaster:Okay, so where you currently are.

Gamemaster:There are...

Gamemaster:There is an area, a system of caves below most of Adan, below the continent that you're on.

Gamemaster:The equivalent of an Underdark called the Quiet Below.

Gamemaster:So cult, because there are... Myths is the wrong term.

Gamemaster:There's hearsay that traveling below the surface of Færrin puts you out of the reach of the gods because they're from the sky and you're now underground.

Gamemaster:There's nothing ever concrete to actually establish that as being the case, but superstition or not, people tend not to travel down...

Gamemaster:into the quiet below.

Gamemaster:It's dangerous, it's difficult to get back up most of the time, and it's usually not worth it.

Gamemaster:There's almost never great civilizations that were below the ground.

Gamemaster:It's just monsters, and that's it.

Gamemaster:There's no reason to go down there to mine stuff, because you can always mine things closer to the surface by just going somewhere else on the horizon.

Gamemaster:So the only reason you would have to go down here is if you're not welcome up there.

Gamemaster:If for whatever reason you have to get away from the surface and so you need to go somewhere that you know that other people wouldn't.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:No one wants to go down here, so it makes a good spot if you're a criminal to hide out, or if you're trying to do something in secret.

Gamemaster:Such that, really the only things that are down here are things that'll kill you, or things that'll get you killed.

Gamemaster:Not much in between.

Gamemaster:So it, I think, would track with you that if you were some group that were going around killing people, taking bodies, and then hauling them off to the middle of nowhere to not be interrupted, this is a good place to do it.

Gamemaster:The only thing of significance there is...

Gamemaster:There's, like, machinery here.

Gamemaster:Somebody had to get here and install these components and, like, drill spots to ensure stuff was here.

Gamemaster:It's not something that Tywelwyn would have just ramshackle put together because two days ago it started raining so hard he couldn't do auguries in the sewer.

Gamemaster:This indicates more of you have stumbled across, for one way or another, an established...

Gamemaster:uh, clandestine area, uh, buried deep underground.

Gamemaster:Um, if Tywelwyn or is the one using it to do auguries down here, um, then maybe he stumbled upon it, or he was given access by somebody who did build it.

Gamemaster:Either way, um, it is the kind of place that you know that people who don't want to be found hang out, or monsters that would be killed if they came to the surface because they pose too much of a threat live.

Gamemaster:Um,

Johnny:Scary.

Gamemaster:you are on the precipice of what is obviously an entry point to that part of Adon.

Gamemaster:With a perception check looking around, this is a little bit of a staging area, what you're currently on.

Gamemaster:There is the lift that is built into the side of the cavern and that extends further down.

Gamemaster:But also, you guys rolled particularly well on your perception checks as well.

Gamemaster:There is kind of pushed into the cliff.

Gamemaster:It's not hidden.

Gamemaster:It's just dark in here, and so it's not super easy to spot.

Gamemaster:There is a ladder.

Gamemaster:that goes upward from where you currently are, that looks like it extends, if not towards the surface, in that direction.

Gamemaster:Some staging tables strewn about.

Gamemaster:Nothing permanent.

Gamemaster:This isn't anybody's office or anything like that.

Gamemaster:But areas for what looks to be there are some supplies set up.

Gamemaster:There are hard hats with lights on them.

Gamemaster:There are some kind of nutrition bars if somebody's heading down, stuff like that.

Gamemaster:Nothing with your perception checks that would strike you as identifying whatever organization built this place, but does strike you as this is an established route for whatever group is using it.

Gamemaster:They have stuff here for people to pass through and pick up.

Gamemaster:And the ground here is some kind of rock.

Gamemaster:It doesn't have dust on it, per se.

Gamemaster:There's too much movement through the area.

Gamemaster:But it is indicative that this area does get use.

Gamemaster:It's not some long-forgotten area.

Gamemaster:It is actively maintained.

Gamemaster:Yes, Tanner.

Anzu:Is there blood?

Gamemaster:Not that you can see.

Gamemaster:And I think to that point, Anzu would probably figure that that is how you guys got to this platform is a non-easy way to expect everybody who's taking this path downstream.

Benny:Benny would like to take a hard hat with a light on it.

Gamemaster:To get here, you gather that normally either they come in through that ladder and then head further down, or if they are taking a boat this way, the boats are enchanted as such to not require frantically looping off of them.

Argyle:I'll also grab some bars.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Benny takes a hard hat with a light on it.

Anzu:I was thinking the same thing.

Gamemaster:It's...

Gamemaster:It's a little big on him.

Gamemaster:It's meant for an adult, and Betty is a nine-year-old child.

Gamemaster:But he has one, and they're kind of adjustable, so it doesn't necessarily slide over your eyes.

Benny:Perfect.

Gamemaster:There's more than enough supplies for you guys to grab, like hard hats and portable flashlights and food and water and the like.

Johnny:Nice.

Gamemaster:It is set up for people to be moving down for long periods of time.

Argyle:Our guy lights a cigarette and goes, all right, Belvedere boys.

Argyle:You guys out?

Argyle:I can call in some Scale buddies if you guys don't want to venture in.

Argyle:I don't know.

Argyle:This is scary for you guys.

Johnny:Oh.

Johnny:I was going to say the same thing if you're worried about getting your suit dirty.

Benny:Yeah, and I was going to say the same thing, sort of.

Argyle:How are those jeans working?

Johnny:Yeah, get him, Benny.

Johnny:I high-five Benny.

Benny:Benny will jump up and high-five him.

Anzu:I was just wondering if we are interested in seeing where this exits upwards before delving down.

Johnny:Oh, yeah, we can send a fellow.

Argyle:Getting cold feathers there, buddy.

Johnny:That'd be great.

Anzu:No, no, I'm ready.

Benny:Sounds like Benny will mimic also smoking and be like,

Argyle:And I agree.

Argyle:No, I agree.

Benny:Sounds like a medical condition.

Argyle:Here, you can have one.

Argyle:There's no nicotine in it.

Benny:No, I'm good.

Johnny:Don't do it.

Johnny:It's not worth it.

Argyle:It's good for your lungs if you're from a certain constitution.

Anzu:I think that probably it's just skinning by if your lungs are good enough.

Johnny:Just don't know about that.

Benny:I don't think Belvedere has a constitution.

Anzu:I don't think it's helping.

Gamemaster:If normally you smoke tobacco and instead you switch to myrrh, that's better.

Argyle:Maybe for your kind.

Anzu:Right, but it's not good.

Anzu:It's neutral at best.

Argyle:I was made for this.

Anzu:I'm thinking of going up the ladder.

Argyle:Yeah, let's do it.

Gamemaster:Okay, can I have a marching order as you guys are climbing up the ladder?

Anzu:I want to see where the... I'm going to go.

Gamemaster:If more than one of you is.

Argyle:I can go first.

Benny:Does everyone need to go?

Gamemaster:I didn't say that everybody did.

Gamemaster:I just, if more than one person is found.

Benny:No, I know.

Benny:I'm asking the group.

Argyle:Do you want to go pay yourself money?

Benny:No, I was figuring Anzu could go up.

Benny:I thought I was good at climbing ladders.

Argyle:Hopefully you don't get snatched.

Johnny:Well, does Anzu need to go up or can we send Othello?

Anzu:I mean, I can...

Anzu:Well, I'll have Othello fly up Josh, and I guess if he hits a point that there's a hatch or something and he can't go further, he'll send a feeling my way.

Benny:I don't know.

Benny:I guess we all go up then.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:You send a fellow up, he goes about 200 feet before there's a point where he hits a hatch and cannot progress further.

Anzu:Hmm.

Gamemaster:It's one of those heavy metal hatches with the rotating lever on it to unlock it, and it's currently in the closed position.

Johnny:Okay.

Anzu:Yeah.

Argyle:Well, Anzu can just try it, and then if he falls, he just safely glides down.

Anzu:I'm going to go up the ladder.

Benny:This is true.

Gamemaster:Okay, Anzu heads up the ladder.

Gamemaster:It is a 200-foot climb, which is not particularly easy to do on a ladder.

Gamemaster:But you're very light, so you don't have a lot of weight to pull up.

Gamemaster:And you make it up to the top, which is this, like, heavy iron closed hatch that, if you like, you can turn and unlock.

Anzu:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Gamemaster:You turn and unlock it, and you can push it upwards if you like.

Gamemaster:Roll a perception check to peek through.

Anzu:Okay.

Benny:Just waiting for Undo to open it in a thing of like 100 of those.

Anzu:I'm not very perceptive.

Gamemaster:There's eight people all standing around.

Benny:And he just jumps, and we just hear, run!

Anzu:Level-based DC.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:16.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:Level base 3C.

Gamemaster:You peek out the opening of the hatch, and it looks like this is another water treatment plant, like another part of the sewers.

Gamemaster:This opens up just somewhere else in the sewers.

Anzu:So it's not a ladder to their secret base.

Gamemaster:Nobody is immediately around.

Gamemaster:Nobody sees you pop the thing open.

Gamemaster:But it looks very similar to the place that you had entered the sewers from.

Gamemaster:Not that you can tell, unless there's secret bases in the sewers.

Anzu:Right.

Anzu:All right.

Anzu:I go back down.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:You can just close the latch and then let go, and then glide down.

Anzu:Indeed, I do.

Anzu:And I just kind of like my wings.

Anzu:Which are also my arms.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Anzu:I just kind of like... Just keep myself stable.

Gamemaster:You marry Poppins it a little bit, and then you make it down to the ground completely unharmed.

Johnny:Let's do it.

Anzu:It opens up back to the sewers.

Anzu:So they just know to go there.

Anzu:It's not...

Argyle:All right, let's sit down.

Benny:Yes.

Gamemaster:Okay, so there is one elevator.

Gamemaster:It is big enough for the four of you, but only because one of you is a child.

Gamemaster:It was not meant for, like, large cargo operations.

Gamemaster:It's clear that they're not moving a car in here, especially given that if you're taking the lift, it's expected that you went through the tight ladder to get here.

Gamemaster:So it's...

Gamemaster:It's meant for people.

Gamemaster:So you all, if you like, can squeeze into the lift together.

Gamemaster:There's not a lot of room for maneuvering, but you do all fit.

Johnny:All right.

Gamemaster:This is like an old-timey lift.

Gamemaster:It doesn't have buttons.

Gamemaster:It has a lever that you push up to go up or down to go down.

Gamemaster:So one of you can just take it and push down and begin descent.

Gamemaster:you start moving down slowly.

Gamemaster:This is not an express.

Gamemaster:And I think I can probably take like maybe close to 15 minutes of descending downward before you actually make it down.

Benny:Oh, my God.

Johnny:Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:It is, there's no light down here.

Gamemaster:You're just descending downward lit only by the torches that you brought with you.

Gamemaster:If you kept them lit, which are you keeping them lit?

Argyle:Well, not for this, but we also have hard hats now with lights.

Gamemaster:You do.

Gamemaster:Are you turning them on?

Gamemaster:The bigger question is, are you using light?

Anzu:I feel like we can probably wait until we get to the bottom totally fine not unnerving

Benny:Yeah.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay, so completely pitch black, packed together in this elevator, slowly descending into the abyss below for 15 minutes.

Johnny:Have fun.

Gamemaster:It's not a smooth ride.

Gamemaster:The elevator judders back and forth as it descends.

Gamemaster:There is a constant whine of a motor that's pushing you downward that seems to be getting higher pitched over time, like it's struggling from running as long as it is.

Gamemaster:But eventually, you do, with a not-so-soft thud, hit the bottom of this ravine.

Gamemaster:You have returned to the sound of rushing water as you have hit the bottom of this cavern where the water is hitting the ground below.

Benny:Yes.

Gamemaster:And you can see a glow off in the distance, amid the darkness, opposite the direction of where the river is landing, as if it continued further into this underground cavern.

Argyle:Let's head over there.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Well, if you're going stealthily, then I need stealthily checks.

Benny:Delphalite Chex.

Gamemaster:Stealthily checks Nix.

Benny:The Vantablack cereal.

Johnny:Sorry, guys.

Argyle:You're the hero point.

Johnny:Well, I have one now.

Argyle:Yes, I'm saying enjoy it.

Gamemaster:Okay, so critical failure with the 7, but a success with the 24.

Gamemaster:That's always fun.

Johnny:I step in my own bell-bottom jeans.

Gamemaster:Oh, no.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:Which are soggy at this point.

Argyle:How are those holding up?

Johnny:I step on and go, ah!

Johnny:My jeans!

Gamemaster:With that Yelp aside, you guys can continue heading towards the soft glow.

Gamemaster:It is this bluish-pinkish glow.

Gamemaster:And as you move towards it, you can see that it is a cavern lit up by these glowing...

Gamemaster:purple crystals reflecting off of the cave ceiling.

Gamemaster:One second.

Anzu:I don't think so.

Benny:There is no token in this thing which gives you availability of the area.

Benny:Oh!

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:I didn't know that was me or not.

Johnny:Ooh.

Johnny:Looks like a little frog over there.

Gamemaster:I'm not going to place I'm not going to place Othello unless you need him.

Gamemaster:Do you need him?

Anzu:Not yet.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Argyle:And there's Vesper Feep.

Johnny:Of Feep Industries?

Gamemaster:What?

Gamemaster:What do you see, Mr. Feep?

Argyle:He's the core of the planet.

Anzu:It's just because we're way down in there, yeah.

Gamemaster:Oh, right, right, because you're down.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:That's my fault for putting a god at the center of the last planet we were in.

Gamemaster:As far as you're aware, there is no god at the center of this planet.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:If anything, the whole point of going down is you're getting further away from the gods.

Argyle:Do I feel presence with the judge weakened?

Gamemaster:Make a religion check.

Argyle:Eight.

Gamemaster:It's very faint, but you do think that it's actually slightly weaker than it was before.

Gamemaster:Like, just as you've decided.

Argyle:Oh, OK.

Johnny:Interesting.

Gamemaster:Um... Yeah, so you've... Sure.

Argyle:I write this down in my notebook.

Gamemaster:Which is probably soaked at this point.

Gamemaster:but you can write down it.

Argyle:I have scribing lore, so I'm actually really good at writing notes, even in the web.

Gamemaster:So you're knowledgeable in writing in soggy notebooks?

Gamemaster:Okay, sure.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:I will allow it.

Argyle:There's two group members who are good at writing notes.

Gamemaster:My problem with lures is that it's so specific.

Gamemaster:When am I ever going to have you roll a scribing lure check?

Argyle:Well, right now, I'm writing a new command.

Gamemaster:And how is that distinct from a record-keeping check?

Benny:uh well record keeping is also like if someone had this kind of information how would they organize it i'm also i'm also uh benny's nickname is dewey for the dewey decimal system because he memorized it

Gamemaster:I...

Gamemaster:Either way.

Argyle:Record keepers are good at keeping records.

Argyle:Scribes are good at writing what they're told.

Gamemaster:But not records.

Gamemaster:So you're the Excel guy and he's the Word guy, is what I'm hearing.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:That doesn't make sense because Dewey does not exist in this universe.

Argyle:Another thing to invent.

Benny:Even the Malcolm in the Middle version?

Argyle:That's what I originally thought you were referencing.

Benny:Dewey is the youngest on Malcolm in the Middle.

Gamemaster:I don't know who that is, so no.

Benny:So it is very fitting that a small child is...

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:But anyway.

Gamemaster:So you've entered into this cave following a path that's kind of carved out for you.

Gamemaster:The river has actually pushed off to the side a little bit.

Gamemaster:It doesn't pass right through here.

Gamemaster:But since you don't have a boat anymore, you can't directly follow the river.

Gamemaster:Instead, it goes into this clearing.

Gamemaster:There are these shiny purple rocks reflecting off the ground.

Gamemaster:There are these pools of water with these small wildlife in them.

Gamemaster:And also, because somebody rolled really poorly on the stealth check, completely aware of your presence, there are two Giant serpents.

Gamemaster:Um...

Argyle:Ha ha ha.

Anzu:Oh, so they're just serpents.

Gamemaster:that are sticking their heads out of the water, washing as you guys approach these guys.

Johnny:Oh, sorry.

Gamemaster:They're no longer lurking because you failed your stealth check.

Benny:Oh.

Benny:I don't... Why do they have a... Why do they have an... Why do they have an adjective?

Anzu:We don't need to be worried.

Gamemaster:Yeah, they're just serpents.

Gamemaster:What?

Gamemaster:I don't know.

Johnny:Well, they don't anymore.

Benny:It's like having bad guy.

Benny:You could just say guy.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:Now we know he's bad.

Benny:What do you mean lurking?

Gamemaster:These guys were lurking.

Benny:Their default state is lurking, though.

Gamemaster:They're no longer lurking.

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Anzu:Are they lashing out serpents?

Gamemaster:Give me... Uh... No, actually, they're both in the water.

Argyle:Ha ha ha!

Benny:Oh, serpents.

Benny:Nice.

Gamemaster:Uh...

Johnny:But the talk.

Gamemaster:Partially out of the water, their faces looking straight at both of you.

Gamemaster:They are... Sorry, both of you.

Gamemaster:All four of you.

Gamemaster:They are watching you as you approach.

Benny:Benny will wave.

Gamemaster:Regular Serpent 1, the one on the left, will see that you wave and stretch out to, like, get a better look at you and say, Hmm.

Gamemaster:You are new.

Gamemaster:We don't recognize you.

Gamemaster:Identify yourself.

Benny:I'm Benny.

Gamemaster:Benny?

Anzu:Quick, write that down.

Argyle:The other guy actually goes, yeah.

Johnny:We all look at Benny.

Benny:I think I know the answer to this one.

Benny:Let me just... Benny Plasmatio.

Gamemaster:Benny's been secretly Italian this whole time.

Argyle:He's Italian?

Johnny:How do you spell that?

Benny:Hey, it's Benny Puzma.

Johnny:Benny Park.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that tracks.

Argyle:He's the Rizzler.

Argyle:We're with the Rizzler.

Johnny:Thank you.

Argyle:Boom, boom, boom.

Gamemaster:Serpent2 says, we don't know you, Benny.

Argyle:He has a permission slit.

Benny:I know I'm new here.

Gamemaster:Let me see your permission slip.

Benny:I've been told.

Gamemaster:Do you actually say he has a permission slip?

Argyle:I do.

Gamemaster:Serpent 2 says, show me your permission slip.

Benny:If he asks for it, Benny will present the permission slip.

Gamemaster:It will reach its neck over to look at the permission slip.

Gamemaster:Roll a diplomacy check.

Gamemaster:You have a minus four circumstance penalty.

Gamemaster:Because the permission slip does not say you're allowed to be here.

Gamemaster:Yes, Tanner.

Johnny:Come on, Crit.

Anzu:Can I recall knowledge?

Johnny:Come on.

Gamemaster:On these guys?

Gamemaster:Sure.

Anzu:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Nature or religion?

Argyle:Have you guys seen Parks and Rec?

Anzu:I haven't.

Argyle:You know, there's one scene where Ron Swanson writes a permission slip for himself.

Argyle:He's just like, I can do what I want.

Argyle:That's what Penny's permission slip is.

Gamemaster:So, Benny just rolled a zero, if I'm reading that right.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:You give me a minus four, so.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Anzu:Jesus Christ.

Johnny:Oh my, we're going to die.

Gamemaster:Benny, make a reflex save for me, please.

Benny:Always wanting to be reflexive.

Benny:16.

Anzu:It's so funny that there's only a real picture of Johnny here and the rest of them are just the class symbols.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I need to get the pictures of your people so that I can do it.

Argyle:I don't know how to add one.

Gamemaster:Jorge sent it to me, and I've just not done it yet, but I can.

Gamemaster:Okay, so a 16 is a success, so that is enough to grab the permission slip back before the serpent eats it, because it does immediately go to eat it.

Johnny:Oh no.

Gamemaster:And it says, I don't know this atom, and you're not allowed to be here.

Johnny:Whoa, whoa, friend.

Gamemaster:And it's going to try and attack you.

Gamemaster:No, it's going to try and attack you.

Johnny:I can't talk out of a zero.

Gamemaster:No, unfortunately, like, this is a series of bad rolls leading up to this, and you guys are clearly not supposed to be here.

Gamemaster:So we are going to go into our second combat of the session.

Anzu:Yeah, but by what authority?

Gamemaster:On the authority of these two regular serpents.

Anzu:Regular serpent, regular serpent.

Johnny:regular i don't know if we're going into initiative but that rolled

Gamemaster:Regular serpent.

Anzu:I think we are.

Benny:Oh, Josh, the last message I sent you is Benny's picture.

Gamemaster:We are.

Gamemaster:You can, yeah?

Gamemaster:Is it?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Oh, it is.

Gamemaster:Correct.

Gamemaster:So... The... Yes.

Argyle:Yeah, my sister.

Gamemaster:I think you sent it to me.

Gamemaster:I just need to actually put it in.

Benny:Yeah, I just double checked.

Gamemaster:You guys can roll... Everybody but Johnny can roll Stealth or Perception initiative here.

Gamemaster:Johnny, you have to roll Regular Perception.

Gamemaster:You cannot roll your Stealth.

Johnny:Is it because I screamed?

Gamemaster:Yeah, it is.

Argyle:You.

Argyle:Sorry, the music really captivated me.

Johnny:Why am I in the front?

Gamemaster:It does that.

Gamemaster:I quite like the sub-track.

Anzu:All right.

Anzu:Oh, they kind of changed the UI with the chat log and the little symbols.

Gamemaster:For what?

Anzu:They used to be above the chat log.

Anzu:Now they're right next to it in a vertical line.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Version 13 did a few things, and that is one of them.

Gamemaster:One of the other things is you'll notice that we don't have all of the symbols and stuff flying around anymore, because that's now a separate module and I haven't installed it.

Gamemaster:Although if you guys do like that, then I can reinstall it.

Gamemaster:I just don't know if you do.

Johnny:I thought they were kind of fun.

Benny:I like symbols.

Gamemaster:I can look into getting that back in there then.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Gamemaster:That's doable.

Gamemaster:I've accidentally locked myself into doing something, so I need to finish it up before I can get out of this dialogue.

Anzu:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Please.

Gamemaster:Yeah, because we're fighting.

Johnny:Oh, it's the combat music.

Johnny:you know everybody

Gamemaster:Unless you guys aren't fighting.

Gamemaster:Like, you're just letting yourselves be eaten by the serpents.

Gamemaster:That's also allowed.

Benny:We're fighting.

Gamemaster:Oh, okay.

Gamemaster:Well, if you're fighting.

Benny:Some of us do think it's weird, though.

Gamemaster:That you're fighting?

Benny:Well, I mean, we're just coming in.

Benny:These aren't the droids we're looking for.

Benny:And then they're like, how about I attack you for being well-documented?

Gamemaster:You're not well documented for this particular cave, though.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:The permission slip doesn't just give you the ability to go wherever.

Gamemaster:Either way, beginning the encounter, it's Anzu's turn.

Anzu:Okay.

Anzu:I don't see the initiative tracker on the screen.

Gamemaster:Yeah, my thing froze.

Anzu:Does everybody else see it?

Benny:Did you try to did you try to set the.

Gamemaster:I'm reloading.

Anzu:Okay.

Anzu:I'm just going to go then.

Anzu:I'm going to cast a spell.

Anzu:Oh, I lost connection.

Gamemaster:Okay, so I just got a 502 error.

Gamemaster:I think I crashed the server.

Argyle:Oh, me too.

Argyle:It might have been too high def.

Anzu:Just turn it back on?

Gamemaster:Actually, specifically what crashed the server is Benny.

Gamemaster:I tried to upload Benny's image and the whole thing crashed.

Benny:Is it too big or what?

Benny:Well, no, I mean...

Gamemaster:Yeah, clearly that's the problem.

Gamemaster:The image is too big and so all of Foundry crashed.

Gamemaster:I don't know what caused it.

Gamemaster:Give me...

Johnny:every pore of this child oh no

Argyle:Well, that means you can probably upload Argyle's then.

Argyle:Probably is fine.

Anzu:etl.erd.cc can't currently handle this request.

Argyle:Benny's the demon child.

Anzu:Sounds like it's burnt out.

Gamemaster:My whole computer just crashed.

Anzu:I'm sorry, guys.

Anzu:I can't handle that right now.

Gamemaster:I just SSH'd on, and when I LS, I get reading directory dot input output error.

Gamemaster:I don't know how this happened.

Johnny:They destroyed everything.

Anzu:So it's absolutely wrecked.

Benny:The demon child.

Gamemaster:I am going to restart the whole server, and you better work.

Argyle:Do you have a manual switch?

Gamemaster:I apologize.

Gamemaster:To reboot it?

Argyle:Did you do that from SSH, or do you have a manual switch?

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:My SSH didn't do it.

Argyle:Oh, OK.

Argyle:I wasn't sure if you wired a manual switch to your desktop, and you were just like, yeah, yeah.

Gamemaster:Just to my desk from there.

Gamemaster:No, listen.

Anzu:It's really big.

Gamemaster:If this doesn't work, then, like, I don't know what to do.

Anzu:It's like a...

Benny:Benny.

Argyle:That would have been sick.

Gamemaster:Let's see.

Gamemaster:So this monitor is kind of dead.

Gamemaster:Let's play with it and see if it turns on.

Johnny:um oh

Gamemaster:Yeah, I don't know.

Gamemaster:I think Mike broke everything.

Gamemaster:No, Mike.

Gamemaster:Okay, if I just hold it here, it'll turn on.

Argyle:Hey.

Gamemaster:Oh, it's busy turning off.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Well, we'll give it a second and see what happens.

Gamemaster:I apologize for the break in the fight, folks.

Anzu:Damn serpents.

Anzu:Very aggressive.

Anzu:They should be called aggressive serpents.

Gamemaster:It doesn't need to be combat music while we're not combating.

Anzu:Guys, I should have just fallen off the ledge.

Anzu:I would have just already been down there waiting for you guys to take the lift.

Gamemaster:That's true.

Johnny:down there earlier.

Johnny:You don't take fall damage, so you could have just done it.

Gamemaster:I think you're the only character, the only PC in this group that could have just fallen off and would have been completely fine.

Gamemaster:Literally anybody else, like instant death.

Gamemaster:You're multiple miles below the surface right now.

Anzu:It is interesting just being mentally aware that you can fall any distance and be fine.

Anzu:It's like, yeah, go up the ladder.

Anzu:Why not?

Argyle:Argo would have survived.

Argyle:He would have just jumped at the last moment.

Johnny:Wait, like as you're falling mid-air, you would have jumped?

Argyle:Yeah, I would double jump.

Gamemaster:Is that a thing Argyle can do?

Argyle:Well, single jump.

Gamemaster:That's not how that works.

Argyle:I'm allowed to jump, right?

Argyle:And I didn't use my jump before, so.

Benny:So just before you hit the bottom you jump and then land.

Gamemaster:No, I understand how a double jump would aid you in not taking damage.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:But I'm not really sure...

Anzu:Because he only falls like 10 feet in that scenario.

Argyle:Yeah, yeah.

Gamemaster:Right, but I don't think it works like you just have one jump you can use regardless of whether or not you used it to get, like, if you're just falling, you get one jump.

Argyle:Unless I high jump.

Anzu:Listen, does the jump action say you need to start on solid ground?

Gamemaster:I think it does.

Anzu:Oh, all right.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Damn it.

Anzu:Well, you might be in trouble.

Gamemaster:But also, I just know this of real life.

Benny:But isn't there a double jump feat?

Benny:Or like a cloud jump maybe or something?

Anzu:There is a cloud jump, but it doesn't give you a double jump.

Anzu:It just lets you jump farther.

Gamemaster:CloudJump requires legendary in athletics.

Gamemaster:It allows you to jump 90 feet on a long jump.

Anzu:Henrik did that and hit the deep.

Gamemaster:Yeah, it's ridiculous.

Argyle:Yeah, needled him.

Johnny:Yeah, that was cool.

Benny:Well, what's...

Anzu:Yeah.

Argyle:So jump description says you jump 30 feet in any direction without touching the ground.

Argyle:So I think that specifically means I don't need to touch the ground.

Benny:There's also like a...

Gamemaster:No, that's the spell jump.

Gamemaster:The action is leap.

Anzu:Alright, go pull up Leap.

Gamemaster:It doesn't, I'm reading it now, it doesn't say that you can't.

Argyle:Yes!

Gamemaster:But, but, it does say you can't make a horizontal leap if your speed is less than 15 feet, and in the air, if you don't have a fly speed, your speed is zero.

Anzu:Rules as written.

Argyle:Yes!

Anzu:Rules as written.

Anzu:Ugh.

Gamemaster:So you don't need to be on the ground, but you do need something that gives you 15 feet of movement in the air.

Johnny:Okay, we all have wigs.

Anzu:All right, Josh.

Argyle:Grab a look.

Anzu:Geez, didn't know you were such a rules lawyer.

Argyle:So I grapple hook, which then starts to pull me, and then I can jump out of it and go, wow.

Gamemaster:Grapple hook does not give you a fly speed.

Benny:I mean, there's also like the... You might have to be next to a wall, but you can fall any distance and you just sort of roll when you hit the bottom.

Argyle:Hmm.

Benny:But if we're looking at skill feeds, you can just get Catfall and be Legendary and Acrobatics and have it solved.

Johnny:Never.

Gamemaster:I think my server broke.

Johnny:Just.

Anzu:That's kind of crazy.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:Let me see how... Benny looks to be around 441 kilobytes.

Gamemaster:And I don't really know what to do about that in the context of D&D.

Argyle:you

Anzu:Well, probably we just call it 23 minutes early.

Gamemaster:I think so.

Gamemaster:Unless it, like, just fixes itself when I hard reset it, which we'll see.

Johnny:Something's happening back there.

Gamemaster:It's outputting something to the screen.

Gamemaster:That something is nothing, but that is a signal.

Benny:I don't think that would have...

Argyle:Doing something.

Gamemaster:Oh, hey.

Anzu:Always doing something.

Gamemaster:It's doing stuff.

Anzu:It's trying to figure out how Benny can be nine years old but have the grip strength of a full-grown man.

Gamemaster:I'm seeing a lot of OKs.

Anzu:And the computations are really complex.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:I and the server know that, though.

Gamemaster:That's for you guys to figure out.

Gamemaster:Which Noah can, because he's wise.

Gamemaster:I see.

Gamemaster:It says that.

Gamemaster:I don't know.

Gamemaster:Maybe it's fine.

Gamemaster:Who knows?

Gamemaster:We'll give it five more minutes, and then if it doesn't work, then we call it.

Gamemaster:Maybe we call it anyway, because it's a little late to start a new combat, unless you guys wanted to just do the combat anyway.

Gamemaster:But...

Argyle:I think we'll be able to kill it before 11.

Benny:I like combat.

Gamemaster:might be able to it depends on how quickly that goes so that sounds like it would work i buy it

Johnny:Here's what we do.

Johnny:We just yell, serpentine, serpentine, and the snakes go, us, and then we attack them from behind when they're confused.

Anzu:Thank you.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:Benny just does this like, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize one of our kind was down here.

Johnny:Oh, you guys are snakes too?

Benny:Hit him with the pick and they're like, ow!

Benny:Why did you hit me with?

Benny:What did you hit me with?

Argyle:Tanner, I saw you playing Ark Raiders.

Gamemaster:I also saw you playing Arc Raiders.

Anzu:Yes.

Anzu:What are our opinions on our graders?

Gamemaster:How is that?

Benny:It's fun.

Gamemaster:I've been enjoying it.

Benny:Oh, Jorge, did you get a dog collar yet?

Gamemaster:I've been enjoying it.

Gamemaster:I've been mad that I don't have an apricot or three.

Argyle:Yeah.

Anzu:Oh, I think I found some of those.

Gamemaster:But I've been enjoying it.

Gamemaster:I know where they're found.

Gamemaster:It's just every time I go to get them, somebody murders me because I'm not good at the player versus player bit of the game.

Anzu:Yeah.

Gamemaster:So...

Anzu:I've only played solo, and people are generally pretty nice, but I have had some rude folks.

Anzu:I was not planning on getting the game.

Anzu:I was like, I don't think this is for me.

Anzu:I don't have the hours to grind a game like this.

Anzu:And then I watched Ninja stream it all week last week and was like, I want to try this game.

Anzu:So then I bought it, and I played it a lot this weekend.

Gamemaster:thank you

Argyle:I like the game.

Argyle:It's not like one of those games I have a thing where I'm in love with it.

Argyle:And I think it's mostly that I haven't had a satisfying player combat session yet.

Anzu:I see.

Argyle:So I think I'm going to grind Gun Workshop Guns 2 and hopefully just get better guns to then try to bully people with worse guns.

Argyle:That's my new gun.

Benny:I met a shaman after you guys got off.

Gamemaster:What?

Benny:Shaman, I guess.

Benny:He shaman-ed us through me and one other guy who was newish to the game.

Benny:Essentially how to play the game.

Argyle:you

Benny:We did a spaceport night raid.

Benny:We killed a leaper.

Benny:He also just gave us free guns because he's like...

Benny:Do you guys have a Feral Mark IV?

Benny:We're like, no.

Benny:He's like, you guys are going to want to get a Feral Mark IV.

Benny:It's a very good gun right now.

Benny:I was like, okay.

Benny:And then the guy we were with is just like, oh, yeah, I can't even make one.

Benny:He's like, I'll just give you a Mark IV.

Benny:And I was like, all right.

Benny:He's just like, do you want one too?

Benny:And I was like, I have a Mark I one.

Benny:He's like, I'll just bring you one.

Benny:And then we went in.

Benny:We did...

Benny:We did a couple of things, but he was like, we want to get in.

Benny:We want the session to be at 29 minutes when we enter.

Benny:I've got a key for this one particular area.

Benny:And then we did three back-to-back, just full looting sessions and got a bunch of shit.

Benny:I got a dog collar in case someone needs them.

Argyle:Oh, no.

Argyle:Thank you, though.

Argyle:I got it.

Anzu:I've heard that being in a squad, the squad servers are much more aggressive PvP-wise.

Benny:I have friends that downloaded today, so they'll probably...

Argyle:They are.

Benny:Yep.

Gamemaster:It's completely different from the solo stuff.

Anzu:I've not done that.

Argyle:I played some solos.

Gamemaster:Also, I think my hard drive died is the problem because I can't do anything there.

Anzu:Fascinating.

Argyle:It really... Uh-oh.

Gamemaster:But we're not going to be able to play today.

Johnny:you

Anzu:Fascinating.

Gamemaster:So, yeah.

Argyle:Is it a hard drive or SSD?

Gamemaster:It's a hard drive.

Gamemaster:So.

Argyle:Do you have any backups or RAID?

Gamemaster:Uh-oh.

Gamemaster:I don't remember, to be honest.

Argyle:I mean, having roommateed with you for three years, I know you just wiped your computers every couple of months, so I never thought it would be a fear of yours.

Argyle:You're like, oh, no.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I don't think it's much of a problem, except that I have to reconstruct what I had.

Gamemaster:So I need to double check if I thought to install something in RAID in there.

Gamemaster:Either way, the end result is not going to be ready in the next 20 minutes.

Gamemaster:So, womp womp.

Argyle:No worries.

Argyle:Can you just answer a quick question for me?

Argyle:What is the ultimate goal of these snakes?

Argyle:Do they work for someone?

Gamemaster:Right now, the goal of these snakes is to eat you.

Benny:Oh, what's the worst goal?

Anzu:If we survive.

Johnny:uncool.

Benny:It's not even a good one.

Johnny:I don't want to yuck anyone's yum, but that's a bad goal.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Johnny:These snakes should really reconsider.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:We're not in the game anymore, so I can't tell them not to do that.

Gamemaster:They're just stuck like that.

Argyle:Cool.

Gamemaster:But what I can say is that you guys level up after this combat.

Argyle:So send it to the Sheets.

Gamemaster:Correct.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Gamemaster:If you beat this, thanks.

Gamemaster:You guys level up.

Gamemaster:So, like, you know, you can get me your level threes in case.

Johnny:Nice.

Anzu:Fascinating.

Johnny:Oh, level two spells.

Argyle:Well, since we have

Johnny:Oh my gosh.

Anzu:Yeah, it's going to be big.

Argyle:17 minutes, we can just do two games of our creators.

Benny:If only it was that quick.

Gamemaster:It is if you run away really quickly.

Gamemaster:Spawn in immediately, expel.

Anzu:Loot one crate.

Anzu:Get wires and metal parts and get out.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Get some gears from somewhere.

Gamemaster:I need them.

Gamemaster:I don't have them, but they're somewhere.

Anzu:Okay, so this is very interesting.

Anzu:I've been looking for mechanical components, and so I've just been going to the scrapyard and just breaking open all the stuff there, and I have found several gears.

Argyle:And.

Anzu:I'm not at the point where I need them yet, and then I was on Reddit today, and everyone is complaining about the gears, and I'm like, I have these.

Gamemaster:I need the gears for my next upgrade.

Gamemaster:Why don't you just make mechanical components?

Johnny:I thought Tanner was in real life and I was like, wow, this is not what I expected Tanner to be doing on his weekends.

Anzu:Uh...

Johnny:I was like, wow, Tanner's living in the 1980s in a Stephen King novel.

Anzu:Here I am looking for gears.

Anzu:I'm just at the scrapyard.

Anzu:I didn't know that you could make mechanical components.

Anzu:Where do you do that?

Argyle:refiners.

Gamemaster:I think it's the refiner.

Gamemaster:And they're like super cheap.

Gamemaster:It's like five metal parts and like a rubber or something like that.

Anzu:Oh.

Argyle:Seven metal parts and three rubber parts.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Anzu:That's crazy.

Anzu:I've been looking all over for them.

Gamemaster:That's like one run's worth of chicken stuff.

Gamemaster:And then you're set.

Anzu:Alright, so it sounds like I still need to learn how to play this game.

Gamemaster:But that's fine, because once you have the mechanical components, you're set.

Anzu:I need them to upgrade the gun bench, I think?

Argyle:Thank you.

Anzu:And I've been going to the scrapyard and I've been finding advanced mechanical components and I'm like, no, I just need the green ones.

Gamemaster:Well, okay, so then why don't you recycle the blue ones?

Anzu:Don't give me the blue ones.

Anzu:Well, that I thought of today.

Anzu:I was like, I could probably break them down, but I was doing work today instead of playing Ark Raiders, which is not nearly as fun.

Gamemaster:Lame.

Benny:Big mistake.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:Big, big mistake.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Anzu:Also, whenever I open the game, it pops up a little Discord window in the top left and wants me to ask Mike to play with me.

Gamemaster:And you don't?

Benny:And then you did.

Benny:And then I told him I can't.

Anzu:That's how I was like, I clicked it and it was like...

Anzu:But then Mike didn't play with me, so it was pretty messed up, actually.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:He's like that.

Gamemaster:I get that.

Johnny:Wow.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:All right, well, this was fun.

Argyle:Good luck with your hard drive.

Gamemaster:I'll figure something out.

Johnny:See you guys next week.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Anzu:Yeah, I think so.

Benny:Next week.

Argyle:If Josh can get a new hard drive by then.

Gamemaster:I have one in a cabinet somewhere.

Gamemaster:Should be fun.

Anzu:Well, all righty, then.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:All right.

Anzu:Good night, folks.

Argyle:Adios.

Benny:Good day.