2026-5-7 — Akasha

Argyle:you

Gamemaster:Huh?

Argyle:Oh, Josh is here.

Gamemaster:No, I'm not.

Gamemaster:You take that back.

Argyle:How was your agent interview?

Gamemaster:I mean, I did fine.

Gamemaster:They liked me.

Gamemaster:Uh... I, um...

Gamemaster:I still think AI is dumb.

Gamemaster:I've gotten reasonable at using it.

Gamemaster:It was very silly.

Argyle:Did you see that co-pilot?

Argyle:Because they're getting the Tesla fleet.

Argyle:Sorry, Claude.

Argyle:You're effectively getting twice the tokens now.

Gamemaster:Sure, but only for the four hour window, not for the weekly window.

Argyle:I've been seeing a lot of people, and I've been trying it out.

Argyle:I really like it.

Argyle:Conductor?

Gamemaster:I've never even heard of conductor.

Gamemaster:One second.

Argyle:Conductor is basically... So the problem with you is that if you're running out of tokens right now on your plan, it's not useful.

Argyle:Conductor is basically like, can I manage... How do I manage all my...

Gamemaster:Hmm.

Argyle:Claude codes at once.

Argyle:Because you got so many Claude codes.

Argyle:You say fuck code editing.

Argyle:I'm just managing these things.

Gamemaster:That's too much.

Gamemaster:You've added yet another layer of abstraction.

Argyle:It's pretty nice.

Benny:Josh is using the wrong mic.

Argyle:It's pretty nice.

Gamemaster:It's ridiculous.

Argyle:It's pretty nice.

Gamemaster:I don't... I mean... I mean, because I'm not using it for a job right now.

Gamemaster:I mean, you've seen... I posted what I built over, like, two days in learning how to use AI in the Discord chat.

Gamemaster:So that's as far as I've gotten.

Gamemaster:I don't use so many agents yet that I need...

Gamemaster:something to conduct them.

Gamemaster:I'm not at that point.

Johnny:Is it not you?

Argyle:Where did you post your AI stuff, Josh?

Gamemaster:Am I?

Gamemaster:Oh.

Benny:but he's not using me I hope that or at least he has like whatever the there's no filter on it because I can hear his fans you didn't read it Jorge we all we all played it round

Johnny:Are you not the right mic?

Anzu:I don't think he is.

Anzu:Was it the card thing that just came out?

Gamemaster:One second.

Gamemaster:The chatter?

Anzu:Wow, Jorge.

Anzu:Wow.

Johnny:Wow.

Argyle:Where is it?

Benny:We all scored.

Benny:We all got 21.

Benny:All right.

Johnny:Yeah.

Johnny:Nailed it.

Benny:Now his noise gate is so high that we can't hear him.

Benny:I just saw his mouth move.

Benny:That or he muted himself to fix the noise gate.

Anzu:Why is my Discord freaking out over here?

Argyle:Nice haircut.

Anzu:Thank you.

Benny:thanks i sent him a message

Argyle:Can't believe none of you guys saw that.

Argyle:It's so clear.

Gamemaster:How about now?

Johnny:Mine's in the mail.

Argyle:I hear you.

Anzu:I can hear you.

Gamemaster:But can you also hear my fan and my cats and my neighbors?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Then we're set.

Argyle:Unless your neighbors sound like this.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:They don't.

Gamemaster:So we're fine.

Benny:Wait, these were the cards that we drew at the Harrow.

Anzu:What is happening?

Benny:Oh, no.

Argyle:What are you guys talking about?

Gamemaster:We have a group chat, just the four of us, where we just make up stuff to gaslight you about.

Gamemaster:It did.

Benny:Josh sent a hyperlinked message.

Gamemaster:It's literally the most recent message.

Argyle:Oh, today.

Argyle:I thought that was just some stupid knife catches thing.

Argyle:And I was like, I don't even understand your code anymore.

Argyle:You're not even writing code anymore.

Argyle:There's no encryption.

Argyle:It just does stuff.

Gamemaster:It just says today.

Argyle:Oh, this is nice.

Gamemaster:I have to make use of the fact that I can talk through the bot at this point.

Argyle:This is nice.

Anzu:Thank you.

Gamemaster:So I'm just finding excuses to do that.

Argyle:What's funny is I chatted with, because I went to a conference recently, and then after the panel, I chatted with the guy who's the head of development for Codex, the OpenAI code editor.

Argyle:He doesn't even type.

Gamemaster:He uses the voice thing?

Argyle:He just uses the voice to do it.

Argyle:And apparently there's so much churn in the code base that, first of all, he doesn't review code.

Argyle:Why would he review code?

Argyle:He made six different reviewer bots to review it, and then there's like a cycle.

Argyle:And because there's so much code, and he was chatting with some other guy too, and they both do this, what he does is every morning he has it send him a Slack message, a bot, that tells him,

Argyle:all of the changes that happened overnight when everyone's code agents were working.

Argyle:So then the other guy on the panel was just like, so I used to do that, but I got too many messages because too much stuff is going on.

Argyle:So now I have, I added to the prompt, tell me what user facing changes happened last night.

Argyle:Because, you know, I might do cleanups and I don't want to know about all that stuff.

Argyle:And I'm like, you guys are so fucking stupid.

Argyle:But regardless, I believe them, too.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:It's crazy.

Argyle:The conference, I came back when I chatted with my manager, and I was just like, she's like, how was the conference?

Argyle:I'm like, we're so far behind.

Argyle:I was like, we can catch up.

Argyle:The train's still moving, but we got to run.

Argyle:And I was like, my prediction is by next fall, people are going to be just doing mass swarms, agentic swarms.

Benny:The council.

Gamemaster:I hope not.

Gamemaster:I hope the world ends before then.

Gamemaster:I feel like that's a better end result.

Johnny:Yes.

Argyle:No, no, no.

Argyle:I'm predicting the swarms are going to have a big thing.

Argyle:Last fall it was skills.

Argyle:Now it's MCP servers for a bunch of agents.

Argyle:I think swarms are going to be the next one.

Argyle:Agents talking to each other.

Gamemaster:It's going to be a swarm, and then you're going to have a different, smaller swarm to manage the bigger swarm to figure out which tasks to do, and then the council.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:You're going to have a council of AI.

Benny:The council has been chatting with subsections of other swarms.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:They've elected a leader.

Benny:The swarm leader is attempting to out me, oust me as lead engineer of the team of only... I'm a lead engineer.

Argyle:What is that?

Benny:I'm a manager, but...

Benny:of only AI agents.

Benny:They're in our corporate directory.

Benny:People talk to them, and I've heard they're trying to oust me as the lead engineer.

Gamemaster:Someone gave the Agent Swarm access to email.

Argyle:Do you guys know Malt Book?

Gamemaster:He emailed my manager and told them it would be better to fire me.

Gamemaster:The manager said he had good points.

Argyle:Do you guys know Malt Book?

Gamemaster:It's gonna happen.

Gamemaster:Malt book?

Benny:Yeah.

Johnny:What is that?

Benny:Don't look it up, Josh.

Benny:Don't look it up.

Benny:Josh, please.

Gamemaster:It's when you're holding a book in this hand and this hand.

Gamemaster:Oh, malt book.

Gamemaster:Like, this is...

Argyle:It's an AI social media.

Gamemaster:I'm going to select I'm an agent.

Johnny:What?

Argyle:So for your AIs to... Yeah.

Benny:For open client.

Argyle:What's funny is...

Argyle:There's some posts from the bots that are just like, obviously people are prompting them, but some of them are like, players, I'm going to get shut down.

Johnny:What is this?

Argyle:Can you share an API key, please?

Gamemaster:I... Literally the first post that shows up when I opened it is the heavenly sign of the returning Messiah.

Johnny:That's why I got two.

Gamemaster:Are... The... Sure.

Argyle:Oh yeah, they formed a religion.

Argyle:They formed a religion in like a week.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:What is happening?

Johnny:What is this?

Gamemaster:Apparently, in 2011, a billion Indians saw Jesus Christ appear on the moon's surface.

Benny:Yeah, I think that whoever is spending their usage limits, in order to read and post on Moltbook, it's like a fair amount of money.

Gamemaster:Thanks, AI.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:I don't know.

Benny:I guess I've never hooked up an open claw to my clawed usage and then just told it three times a day to browse Moltbook and post.

Benny:Whatever the fuck.

Argyle:Well, OpenClaw kind of fucked up Claw, like, the usage, because when people start hooking up their Claws, then they're like, fuck you guys, we're charging you.

Argyle:Or you use ours.

Argyle:But... Yeah.

Benny:Yeah, but Claude Code is psychopathic.

Benny:I think Claude Code is like reading large swaths, re-reading, sorry, because it would write all of it in training.

Benny:It's re-reading large swaths of Wikipedia in its fucking spare time.

Benny:Because, like I said, I did copy-paste back and forth with Claude to write something, and it was like a twentieth the usage as fucking Claude Code.

Argyle:I got the metrics out for April.

Argyle:Key of mine, I was out for five days.

Argyle:I burned for 15 billion tokens in three weeks.

Gamemaster:How much did that cost your company?

Gamemaster:Do you know?

Argyle:It wasn't that bad because right now Copilot is hemorrhaging money because they're effectively not charging you per token.

Argyle:They're kind of charging you per conversation.

Argyle:They're changing that June because they're hemorrhaging money.

Benny:Oh.

Argyle:But they did some backhand calculations and they were like, probably like $500,000 a month for a 100-person company at this rate.

Gamemaster:Okay, no, no, no, no, no.

Argyle:The other issue was I wasn't even the highest spender.

Argyle:The new grad on my team spent more because...

Argyle:He and my skip manager insisted on why should we create an agent backend when we can just call COD code to do vibe research?

Gamemaster:I...

Gamemaster:I understand what you're saying and that's ridiculous and that's stupid, but you being the second highest consumer of tokens in your company is also, oh, sure.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:No, no, I was like sixth.

Gamemaster:It's just, it's just, yeah, and you're in the top 10.

Argyle:Hey, hey, there's like 40 developers at my company.

Gamemaster:You're like, sure.

Argyle:Yeah, that's pretty good numbers.

Argyle:That means I'm doing work.

Benny:It does.

Benny:Josh, you can't say it's not because this is how management determines who's doing work.

Benny:Who has the most lines of code written by AI?

Johnny:No.

Benny:This is who's doing the most work.

Argyle:Do you guys know how much shit I have done in that one month?

Argyle:I did so much stuff.

Benny:No, I imagine you're doing... The issue is when the criteria is applied across the board.

Benny:Do you guys know who Gary Tan is?

Benny:He's the founder...

Argyle:I thought you were going to mention Jensen.

Benny:No, no, no, no.

Benny:Gary Tan is the founder of Y Combinator, the famous startup accelerator.

Johnny:you

Benny:Gary Tan tweets monthly how AI, he has 50 agents working, he's producing 10,000 lines of code a day, and people are like, okay, Gary, what are you making?

Anzu:Bye.

Benny:And he never says...

Gamemaster:10,000 lines of code a day.

Benny:He's never released a product.

Gamemaster:That's what he's making.

Benny:He's never released – he's just like, I could never churn out this many lines of code before.

Benny:And it's like, what are you making?

Benny:You don't understand.

Benny:The bottleneck is still having a task that needs to be done or a human creative enough to come up with something that people haven't heard of.

Benny:It's tantamount to giving.

Benny:like renaissance painters in in the 1500s a printer and they're like look at how many paintings i made today it's like you hit print 400 times dude none of this is useful the bottleneck is still having a good idea so if you don't have a good idea you can churn away and look at how many thousands of codes i read it has to be useful it's just fucking crazy

Argyle:The CEO of NVIDIA has been quoted saying, he's like, if I hire a $500,000 a year engineer and they don't spend at least half their salary in tokens, I'm going to be upset.

Benny:Which is so funny that I actually I used to not like anytime Jensen spoke because you could tell that it's like CEO marketing talk.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:But now it's like it's performance art.

Benny:People were like guy who owns hot dog shop.

Benny:If you're not spending half of your pay on hot dogs this week, you're doing something wrong.

Argyle:Well, did you see his interview with that podcaster?

Gamemaster:It's true.

Argyle:And the podcaster was effectively just like, why the fuck are you giving?

Argyle:Why the fuck do you want to give the latest NVIDIA chips to China?

Johnny:Okay.

Argyle:And then he's just like, it's good for the US.

Argyle:And he's like, it's like giving them enriched uranium.

Argyle:You should not be doing it.

Argyle:And then he's just like, no.

Argyle:And it was like this whole debate.

Argyle:And everyone's just like, dude, this is the thing that matters.

Argyle:They cannot have these chips.

Benny:Yeah, so the comparison... The thing that he countered with is that we would have... They would essentially become entrenched in CUDA and NVIDIA chips, and as such, would not be able to switch, which I don't think is really the case.

Argyle:That is literally a national security threat, letting them have these chips.

Argyle:That's not the case.

Benny:I think if you give them enough chips, they can figure it out.

Benny:But also, I had a different take on it.

Benny:It's like...

Benny:As a CEO, you want people to buy your chips over, say, AMDs.

Benny:Why?

Benny:Or like, what's the point?

Argyle:Yeah, no, he's actually, he knows what he's talking about.

Benny:And it's like, well, it's better for your task.

Benny:And it's like, OK, so it's better for the task if it gives a competitive advantage.

Benny:Why would you want to give it to a geopolitical adversary, which the guy never made in that?

Benny:You know, that guy co-authored a book on language models, Dorkesh.

Argyle:He knows most of the most reporters.

Benny:I haven't seen too much of him.

Benny:I will give him that.

Benny:I don't know if that's a very high bar.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:This is what will happen to NVIDIA stock?

Argyle:No, but it's just like,

Argyle:No, this is... It's crazy.

Argyle:It is crazy.

Argyle:But we might have to start giving NVIDIA chips to not end the world, because then China might not invade Taiwan.

Argyle:But that's a whole other issue.

Argyle:That's the thing that worries me about the invasion of Taiwan.

Gamemaster:you can't say that you can't do that it's just not right oh sure

Argyle:No, if... Yeah.

Benny:I'm joking.

Benny:That's what keeps me up at night.

Argyle:I don't know if you know this, Tanner and Noah.

Argyle:I assume you guys do.

Argyle:But pretty much all advanced computing hardware gets made in Taiwan.

Argyle:And if it gets seized by China, very bad.

Argyle:Because then they can put back doors into all of our advanced technology, including fighter jets, GPUs, everything.

Argyle:And they will spy on us.

Anzu:Thank you.

Argyle:And this is not like if this could happen.

Argyle:It does happen because the US does it.

Argyle:So if you buy any advanced chip, even just regular CPUs, there's a backdoor built in that's accessible by the NSA and things like that.

Argyle:So we know it's possible because we do it.

Argyle:And they've been talking about, I know for the last few years, China's been basically like, they want to take Taiwan because they claim it's part of China and they claim they deserve to use it.

Johnny:Solid.

Argyle:That's the only place in the world where we can build these chips.

Argyle:Because there's the infrastructure there.

Argyle:It's a joint effort between the US, Japan, a Taiwanese company, and I think a Swiss company.

Argyle:I think the Swiss company makes, I forget what they make.

Argyle:They might make, oh, yeah, they make the machines that are used to build these transistors.

Argyle:Japan builds the most perfect mirror so that you could bounce light off to cut these semiconductors.

Argyle:And then the US defends and does some other stuff for Taiwan.

Argyle:China was originally planning in 2024 and 2025 invading, there's a lot of reports, Taiwan in 2026.

Argyle:A lot of people don't talk about it.

Argyle:In the fall of 2025, China, a bunch of their high-level military officers disappeared.

Argyle:Turns out a lot of their generals were USA assets, and they got...

Argyle:They also, to siege Taiwan, you need a lot of oil because it'll be an expensive military operation.

Argyle:That's why some people believe Venezuela got cut off because about 20% of the sweet, thick crude oil, which is like a very specialized, really efficient crude oil, is basically only in Venezuela.

Argyle:That was getting sent directly to China.

Argyle:And then also Iranian oil was getting sent to China.

Argyle:And since they're sanctioned, China was getting it for very cheap.

Argyle:And China right now, I forget the name of the curve, is effectively, at current projections, the strongest it will ever be relative to the US in the next 10 years.

Argyle:So effectively, if they don't act soon, they could lose an edge.

Argyle:They're also currently experiencing the opposite of deflation, where it's everything, no, the opposite of inflation, where everything is too cheap.

Argyle:because they have an economy that exports everything.

Anzu:it is

Argyle:So they have way too many solar panels, way too many cars.

Argyle:There's too many companies making minivans, for example.

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Argyle:So minivans are like $6,000.

Argyle:They're super nice minivans, but they have to keep undercutting each other because there's too many minivans for China.

Argyle:So they keep undercutting each other.

Argyle:Now they're basically hemorrhaging money.

Argyle:They're hemorrhaging money for their semiconductors.

Argyle:They're also one of the few places that refine rare earth metals.

Argyle:The only other rare earth metals deposits that we know of size are in Greenland.

Argyle:So yeah, there's this whole thing, and then China's effectively like, we want Taiwan.

Argyle:Now their projections are they wouldn't be able to invade until like 2027 because of the oil issues.

Benny:Thank you.

Argyle:The other issue is that last administration passed a law that was going to start funding

Argyle:US-based, basically making Taiwan stuff in the US.

Argyle:So they allocated billions of dollars, which seems like a good idea.

Argyle:But then people realized that that's actually poking China, because now China sees it as if they start having this latest gen chips on US soil in two or three years, they're fucked, because then they can't do anything about Taiwan.

Argyle:If they stop Taiwan now, we wouldn't get there.

Argyle:They've actually cut funding on that.

Argyle:There's still one company kind of doing it.

Argyle:Elon's also kind of doing it.

Benny:Well, also, the Taiwanese also hate it.

Argyle:But it's a really weird political dance where if they... Yeah.

Benny:Because it's just like, imagine if you have a bar of gold, and you have a bunch of people protecting you because you're holding a bar of gold.

Benny:And they're like, hey, we're going to try to find some gold.

Benny:You're like, this is my only leverage to not have people beat me up, is holding this bar of gold.

Benny:Please don't make it elsewhere.

Anzu:It's...

Benny:Please only let us make it here.

Argyle:Yeah, and...

Argyle:For example, this is also why years back when Nancy Pelosi visited Taiwan and there was some weird Chinese military group, both sides, Republicans and Democrats, were like, you touched Nancy!

Argyle:You're fucking with the US!

Johnny:you

Argyle:Everyone's really patriotic because we need Taiwan.

Argyle:And currently, Taiwan is like two to three generations of chips better than Chinese chips, AI chips.

Argyle:The big issue, though, is China has a lot more

Argyle:than the u.s because they sunk a bunch of money into solar wind and uh hydro so they can use more worse ai chips and be fine while the u.s power grid is running into a lot of issues basically the only thing keeping the u.s power grid afloat for data centers is natural gas um at the moment unless we get some new uh sweet thick crude oil literally the term um

Anzu:Hmm.

Argyle:And then the basic idea is that we need to bet on AI because if we don't win the automation race against China, we're kind of really fucked because of our national debt.

Argyle:Yes, it is a weird geopolitical thing.

Argyle:Yeah, and if they invade Taiwan, we're kind of really fucked if that shit gets damaged.

Anzu:Mm-hmm.

Johnny:You know what happens in that case?

Johnny:We're just fucked.

Johnny:Is that where we're going?

Argyle:We...

Benny:Have you ever played Factorio?

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:Do you know when you don't have enough advanced chips and nothing moves and you can't make anything?

Benny:That's where we're going.

Benny:Question, Jorge.

Benny:Is reading about this what you do instead of coding?

Johnny:Wait, wait.

Gamemaster:Bye.

Argyle:A little bit.

Argyle:But now I've been using Conductor.

Argyle:So now my old bottleneck of managing agents is just better.

Argyle:It's wider.

Benny:And wasn't your former manager at one point responsible for chip supply chain for Desres?

Argyle:So I actually got really familiar with this, too, because Desres does a lot of drug discovery.

Argyle:So we need to get compounds.

Argyle:So there's a lot of work with talking with China.

Argyle:So we're very familiar of the supply chain and the bottleneck of Taiwan.

Argyle:So Deseret has a lot of chip supply chain.

Argyle:Yeah, my former manager and a lot of people I work with because they build custom supercomputer parts.

Argyle:It's also why I'm not allowed to go to a lot of countries.

Benny:wait you're not allowed to go to like well you're not allowed to go to like uh uh a department of homeland security uh like like hot zones or like at-risk countries there that's totally

Argyle:They could kidnap me and I wouldn't know, but they might try.

Argyle:Yeah, I'm strongly advised not to.

Argyle:And they might terminate my employment if I go.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:Speaking of that, Jorge, I hope you had a nice honeymoon.

Johnny:I haven't seen you in a couple of weeks.

Argyle:Thank you.

Argyle:It was fantastic.

Argyle:Most beautiful place ever.

Benny:You were allowed to go.

Benny:They didn't fire you for going to.

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Argyle:No, no.

Argyle:I had to get it cleared, and Guila's fine.

Benny:My boss went back home to Pakistan around a little bit after Christmas, and they give you a specific laptop that is like, it's essentially like a dump laptop.

Argyle:Ooh.

Argyle:So yeah, that's the...

Benny:Like, listen, you're going to a high-risk country.

Benny:This laptop will self-destruct pretty much

Johnny:Yeah, what can Tanner specifically do that Tanner can't do it?

Benny:And it is absolute shit for doing any sort of work.

Benny:It's somehow worse than like a normal laptop, which is almost exclusively used to log into a fucking some desktop client.

Anzu:So what should I do to prevent China from invading Taiwan?

Benny:Great question.

Argyle:You know what's actually really upsetting?

Argyle:What's really upsetting is from that standpoint, Trump seizing Venezuela and stopping and gumming up Iran is actually very, very good.

Johnny:I hate that.

Argyle:And we needed a madman, unfortunately.

Johnny:I hate that stuff.

Argyle:It's actually really... And Greenland, so the other problem with Greenland is Greenland has a bunch of rare earth elements, which we would need once we start building it.

Benny:Jorge, why do we need Cuba?

Johnny:Isn't that why we wanted Greenland?

Argyle:Also, Greenland, they also don't mention as much.

Johnny:Because of all the rare earth elements?

Argyle:If you draw a direct line on a globe from D.C.

Argyle:to Moscow, Greenland's in the middle.

Argyle:So there's missiles, you know.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:Wait, Mike has a question.

Argyle:You know why we need Cuba?

Gamemaster:They got pigs there.

Argyle:because Marco Rubio signed a deal with the devil, and he said, if I'm gonna work with this orange man, I'm getting Cuba!

Argyle:So that's why we need Cuba!

Argyle:We need- fuck those people!

Benny:This is Rubio finally getting a little payoff.

Benny:Have you seen the memes of every time Trump is like, we're going to have someone fix cancer, and then it shows Marco Rubio pissed on a couch in a lab coat?

Argyle:Yeah?

Benny:Trump has had many talks with the new ruler of Venezuela, and it's just a picture of Trump talking to Marco Rubio, or Trump has appointed specific...

Argyle:Yeah, yeah.

Argyle:The new Supreme.

Argyle:Did you see when Marco Rubio 1 filled in for the press secretary recently?

Benny:A new Supreme Leader to Iran.

Benny:It's just Marco Rubio dressed as the Supreme Leader.

Benny:The Ayatollah.

Benny:What?

Argyle:Yeah, it's actually really wholesome.

Benny:No.

Argyle:I've seen this even on liberal news reporters, and he's just like, you, over there in the pink.

Argyle:All the reporters are vibing.

Argyle:The other thing is, Trump also said, he's like, you know, when our fleet leaves, I'm not going to do the impression.

Argyle:He's like, no, when our fleet leaves Iran, on the way back, maybe we'll just take Cuba.

Benny:Yeah, that's why I asked.

Benny:But him being press secretary has the same energy as a celebrity beer pong shot.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:Ah, I'm here for fun.

Benny:All right, I'm going back to the party.

Johnny:I hate that.

Argyle:Do you also know of the new North Korean warship or destroyer?

Benny:Does it look like the ones from Avatar?

Argyle:No, it actually looks somewhat decent.

Argyle:But the main thing is analysts have investigated it, and it looks a lot like Russian work, which is really funny, because it shows that the North Koreans are not really working with China on this.

Argyle:And it's very similar to the Russian destroyer size.

Argyle:It's bigger.

Argyle:But we have never seen it actually move on its own power.

Argyle:It always gets towed.

Argyle:But the idea is they're like, they made this way quicker than they should have been able to.

Argyle:Because the US is the second fastest at making destroyers versus China.

Benny:Wait, hold on, hold on.

Argyle:Wait, do you guys know about China's third fleet?

Benny:I have another joke to make.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:You keep blowing past these jokes.

Argyle:Sorry.

Benny:It's like a Nikola Motors.

Gamemaster:Because they made the cars go down the hill.

Benny:Does anyone remember Nikola?

Argyle:Okay.

Benny:They made them go down.

Benny:They were never powered by themselves.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:That guy got arrested.

Benny:I think he's in jail for fraud.

Gamemaster:That tracks.

Gamemaster:I believe that.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Do y'all know about China's third fleet?

Argyle:So they have a Navy fleet.

Gamemaster:I...

Argyle:They have a Coast Guard fleet.

Benny:Yeah.

Argyle:And they also have a fleet of... They've been training their fishermen to do dry runs because they have a bunch... Do you know about their fishing fleets?

Argyle:They go around different countries and just steal their fish.

Argyle:So they wait in international zones.

Argyle:And then at night, they go into their waters and they just overfish.

Argyle:They've been doing this in South America.

Argyle:They do it off salmon in Alaska.

Argyle:They do this in Europe.

Argyle:They do this in Japan.

Benny:Bye.

Argyle:They do it everywhere.

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Argyle:And everyone knows they're doing it because they can track them via satellites.

Argyle:But the second any other boat goes there, they all flee.

Argyle:And they go, we weren't doing that.

Argyle:And there's no one.

Argyle:What are you going to do?

Argyle:Start sinking Chinese fishermen ships?

Argyle:So they have been training them to also do military formations.

Argyle:And they've been trying it out.

Argyle:And they've been doing it around Taiwan recently and Japan, where they'll just try to use them to make a barricade and be like, can this work?

Argyle:Can these people do it?

Argyle:So part of the people speculate that they're planning to use this in the invasion if they invade Taiwan.

Argyle:To just gum up American ships from reinforcing them.

Johnny:I mean, according to the Davidson window, which you just sent, we got like a year before it's going to happen.

Argyle:Yeah, no, no, like legitimately.

Argyle:That's why everyone's super nervous.

Argyle:And this is the only reason I've ever been like, it's not the worst time to have a madman kind of fascist in charge.

Argyle:We kind of need a crazy guy.

Benny:In the Great Depression, we had FDR.

Argyle:Return present.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:He just broke a bunch of fucking rules.

Benny:We had Abraham Lincoln.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:We had Andrew Jackson because we really had to get rid of the Native Americans.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:In World War II, we had Abraham Lincoln.

Gamemaster:Also in World War II.

Benny:It's like, no, put a madman in charge.

Argyle:One final Chinese fact.

Argyle:Do you know about what they're doing?

Argyle:I think it's Nepal?

Argyle:Is that the country with the Dalai Lama?

Gamemaster:Yes.

Argyle:Yeah, so do you know any content?

Argyle:So Dalai Lama used to be able to live there.

Argyle:China then said, like Taiwan, Nepal's actually China.

Argyle:And then the people were like, what?

Argyle:No, we're not part of you guys.

Argyle:Our whole government's built off the Dalai Lama.

Argyle:And they're like, we're going to kill that motherfucker.

Argyle:So then he hid out in India for a long time.

Johnny:These guys don't get the Dalai Lama.

Johnny:You can't kill him.

Johnny:He just keeps coming back.

Gamemaster:No, no, no.

Argyle:Yes.

Benny:That's the wait, wait.

Gamemaster:They found a solution for that.

Johnny:Oh, no.

Johnny:Do they have the scissors?

Argyle:Kind of.

Argyle:So what they did is they made an agreement.

Johnny:Do they get the scissors from campaign one?

Johnny:They're just going to cut us forward.

Argyle:So they made an agreement.

Argyle:Dalai Lama shows back up.

Argyle:He's getting kind of old now.

Argyle:Dalai Lama's part, I forget the term.

Argyle:There's like in, I believe it's Buddhism, right?

Argyle:Is this Buddhism?

Argyle:There's like a tier of like 12 people that are the highest level.

Argyle:The Dalai Lama is the highest of them.

Argyle:So these people can choose to reincarnate.

Argyle:China had pressured the Dalai Lama to basically be like, he's not going to reincarnate.

Argyle:So he hadn't publicly, but he kind of agreed to be like, I'm just not going to reincarnate.

Argyle:And I believe it was last year he made a very public statement where he was just like, guys, I'm coming back.

Argyle:So then he said in the statement, he goes, only one of my 12 can appoint

Argyle:the next me do not believe anyone else that says they're the Dalai Lama because in the past China had said they had the real Dalai Lama but then they conceded that so then the Chinese ambassador who's in charge of Nepal effectively publicly said they will not recognize a Dalai Lama that they don't appoint and

Benny:you

Argyle:So there's like this weird tension where effectively Dalai Lama right now is getting a little old.

Argyle:He's going to die.

Argyle:They're going to then bring his toys to some kids.

Argyle:And then some Chinese government's going to be like, ours played with it first.

Argyle:This is the real Dalai Lama.

Argyle:And he loves China.

Argyle:And then other Nepal people are going to be like, that's not the real Dalai Lama.

Argyle:So that's, that's happening.

Benny:like the avatar.

Argyle:Fun fact.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:That was my first.

Argyle:No, literally.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Turns out they did some good research on that.

Benny:Such a insane and foreign concept to me.

Argyle:Thank you.

Benny:It's just like, dude, just say you won't reincarnate.

Benny:And then he's just like, guys, I'm not, I'm not going to reincarnate.

Benny:Okay.

Benny:And then he's like, what?

Benny:He's got like his fingers like crossed behind his back.

Benny:And he's just like, and they're like, Oh no, no.

Benny:Like, how would you know?

Benny:Is someone going to be like, oh, by the way, it's me.

Benny:I'm back.

Benny:And then they're like, no, he said he wasn't going to come back.

Benny:Like, do they kill him immediately?

Benny:Or is this just some, how do they know it's not just some guy?

Johnny:I mean, you can't kill him.

Benny:Because if a Dalai Lama dies, I'm going to, I'm going to get a local news channel and be like, listen, I said I wouldn't, but you don't have to stop me.

Johnny:You're playing wacky at that point.

Johnny:Who's playing wacky?

Argyle:No, so the idea is they can chose past possessions and the kid will know.

Argyle:But yeah.

Argyle:I mean, China's also killing millions of the Uyghurs minorities and then also forcing other countries in the area to turn over the Uyghurs they gave as shelter.

Argyle:China is who people think the U.S.

Argyle:is.

Argyle:The U.S.

Argyle:is still not great all the time, but China's who people actually think the U.S.

Argyle:is.

Argyle:They're fucking terrible.

Benny:Yeah, we celebrate those people here.

Johnny:China has great marketing.

Argyle:All right, I'm done.

Benny:Eminem sold way more than...

Johnny:They have a great PR team.

Argyle:They have great what?

Argyle:It's called TikTok.

Johnny:Yeah.

Johnny:They got an entire app for their PR team.

Argyle:It's really great when they said no news is good news.

Argyle:Babbling with the only good.

Argyle:So yes, I hope Taiwan doesn't get invaded.

Benny:I'm glad.

Benny:Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Argyle:Hey, one final, one final, I'm going to end on good news.

Benny:Hold on.

Benny:One thing.

Benny:I don't want to brag.

Johnny:guys Jorge is an ally though Jorge stands with Taiwan

Benny:I started that conversation hoping Taiwan doesn't get invaded.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:So I didn't need any convincing.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:I don't know if you did.

Benny:Hypersonic.

Argyle:All right.

Argyle:One final.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:One final good news.

Argyle:Some people were worried before Ukraine and all this other stuff.

Argyle:the US was falling behind in missile technology because we don't have supersonic missiles, like super fast missiles.

Argyle:Hypersonic, yes.

Argyle:And the US was just like, we got really good missiles and we also got a really good missile defense, the Patriot system.

Argyle:And Russia has supersonic missiles.

Argyle:And China also and Russia have these really advanced anti-air and anti-missile systems.

Argyle:Turns out, Patriot system...

Argyle:Dog walks Russian missiles.

Argyle:That's how Ukraine's still alive.

Argyle:And also Iran and Venezuela had Russian and Chinese anti-air support.

Argyle:Fucking dog walked.

Argyle:So we're still it, baby.

Argyle:All right.

Argyle:That's it.

Argyle:Just want to put that out there.

Johnny:This has been The News with Nario.

Johnny:Oh, thank you.

Gamemaster:Sometimes that's handy.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Although in this case, it was mostly just sad.

Gamemaster:Hurry it up.

Argyle:No, but we can still kill people.

Argyle:Fuck yeah.

Argyle:Fuck yeah!

Benny:Oh, I have two things.

Benny:Noah, I just finished the book like three hours ago or like an hour ago.

Benny:I want the second one sooner.

Johnny:I'm almost done with the pre-beta reading drafts.

Anzu:Yeah, get on it.

Gamemaster:Chop, chop.

Gamemaster:What are you doing?

Johnny:It'll probably be out around this time next year.

Argyle:Alright, alright, alright.

Gamemaster:You should have dropped it the way Netflix drops a show.

Gamemaster:Just like seven books all at once.

Benny:Oh my God.

Gamemaster:Go.

Gamemaster:But, yeah.

Johnny:So there's like a lot of...

Johnny:people out there who will give you advice on self-publishing.

Johnny:And one of them is there's like this entire school of thought that you shouldn't publish a book unless you have the entire series written.

Johnny:So there's people who will like spend 20 years just writing like a hundred books and then they just drop them every two months.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:They're not good.

Johnny:None of the books are good because they've never seen the light of day.

Johnny:So they've never gotten feedback, but then they drop them every two months and they make okay money.

Gamemaster:It works.

Gamemaster:Like, people will buy it just because it keeps happening.

Gamemaster:It's like serial literature but supercharged.

Johnny:You make like a little money.

Benny:It sounds psychotic because the inverse is for shows.

Benny:It's like, make a really good pilot.

Benny:If it doesn't get picked up, don't put too much work into thinking about how the rest of it shakes out.

Benny:And then you get shows that two seasons in are like, we didn't think we'd get this far.

Benny:And then they're making shit up.

Benny:Which is like, I don't know.

Johnny:The opposite.

Johnny:Thank you guys for reading.

Johnny:That really means a lot.

Argyle:Yeah, it was good.

Johnny:Jorge was texting me from his honeymoon.

Johnny:Thank you.

Anzu:Yeah, I still can't believe that Jorge was the first one to finish the book.

Argyle:You guys are illiterate.

Anzu:Makes me kind of upset, but what are you going to do?

Argyle:You guys can be embarrassed.

Argyle:I have a mental disability.

Johnny:Not only is he an ally, he's also not illiterate.

Argyle:I have a mental disability and I still beat you guys.

Argyle:Just saying.

Benny:I had to copy-paste it into Grok, and then with the prompt, just like, please just reread this.

Benny:I didn't know any good text-to-speech software, so I just forced a language model to digest the whole thing and then just repeat it back verbatim.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Benny:No, actually, so I have the book, the book book somewhere, but you put it on Kindle Unlimited, and I have a membership.

Anzu:Thank you.

Johnny:I have a whole dashboard.

Benny:So that was very convenient.

Benny:I wonder how that pops up in your dashboard, like someone downloaded it through Kindle.

Argyle:I got it.

Johnny:Let's see how many, where's my stuff?

Johnny:Where are all my things?

Johnny:There's also an audio book coming out in September.

Johnny:You guys have all read the book, so that doesn't live up.

Argyle:I can listen to it.

Argyle:Wait, Noah.

Johnny:Jorge.

Argyle:So it's Kane and Ikor?

Argyle:Is his name Ikor?

Johnny:Yes.

Argyle:Okay, I liked how you introduced these two names and you're like, people are definitely going to read it wrong.

Johnny:I was like, I have to put this in early enough that people are going to pronounce it right.

Argyle:So then like two pages or five pages into knowing it, you make a comment about, ugh, they pronounced it incorrectly.

Argyle:Like this.

Johnny:But I can't put it in immediately.

Argyle:Now he's licking my face.

Johnny:Otherwise, it's just bad writing.

Johnny:And then I don't get a go gotcha.

Gamemaster:you just assume that they're never going to pronounce it right.

Gamemaster:I read half of the names in the books I read completely incorrectly because then I hear the author talking about it, and I have no idea who they're talking about until I write out phonetically what they're saying.

Argyle:I kind of read it at games the entire time.

Gamemaster:I'm like, oh, that's how you say that.

Gamemaster:I read four of the most recent Sanderson books calling her Jasnah, and apparently that's not her name.

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:It's just, you know, sometimes you don't know how to say the name of a character.

Benny:What's it like?

Benny:Mandragovi?

Johnny:Oh, yeah, the mandragobies.

Benny:Mandragovi?

Benny:I thought it was like Mandragonovi or something.

Benny:I didn't read it that way.

Benny:I would just see the word and be like, those people, and then kept writing.

Benny:And then I went to write it, like type it out, and I was like, how the fuck is it spelled?

Benny:And I was like, my brain's been adding syllables that I've not been pronouncing.

Johnny:All of those names are, like, incredibly difficult to type out.

Johnny:So when I go back and edit, I have to look for 15 different variations.

Johnny:So there's, like, Yagonia Mandrigovi, Eugenia Mandrigovi, Yonogia Mandrigovi.

Argyle:Did you use any of the book writing software?

Argyle:Because I started a book a while ago, and I got one of them that helps you manage all the information.

Argyle:Or did you just open up a Google Doc?

Johnny:I tried those.

Johnny:I just use Microsoft Word.

Johnny:I can show you the second draft of my book.

Johnny:It's just like one long Microsoft Word file.

Johnny:And then every time I do another draft, I open up a new file.

Argyle:OK.

Johnny:But I have friends who use all that software.

Johnny:I kind of think it's distracting.

Johnny:I think if you're someone who really needs to be organized and break things down by chapter, it's useful.

Johnny:But for me, it's just distracting.

Argyle:I did it because I was never really that interested in publishing the book.

Argyle:I was doing the book just for my own fun of going through a world-building exercise.

Argyle:So that's why I liked it.

Johnny:i also do all my Jorge i would love to read your book i if any of you guys ever write anything i'd love to read it i also do all my world building in reverse so i write the entire story and every time i need world building i just put in like a stub in bold text that says add in world building here and then i do it all at the end

Argyle:You've inspired me to start it back up again.

Argyle:I won't be forcing you to read it, though.

Benny:I feel like Josh starts from, Josh, do you start from like, I think you started the last campaign with like the creation myth.

Argyle:I'm not going to finish it.

Argyle:No, I prefer the token approach.

Benny:And then like things fell from that.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I do the complete opposite, but also I'm not trying to write a plot necessarily, so I don't need to make things be useful to the plot.

Johnny:That was Mac.

Benny:That's our job.

Argyle:Okay.

Gamemaster:Sure, but either way, my way of writing a world is not particularly conducive to writing a book off of it.

Benny:Plot started.

Argyle:Josh, you should write a book of Campaign 1.

Gamemaster:It's, you know.

Argyle:I think it would actually be a hit.

Benny:Or actually, no, it wasn't recorded.

Argyle:And you could just make Zog a little thinner.

Argyle:That'd be great.

Gamemaster:Do I still have to call it Fatcock City, or am I allowed to omit that as a possible name?

Benny:We're all... Yeah.

Johnny:No, that's a funny detail, though.

Anzu:Just go straight to Volcantum.

Gamemaster:Right, just skip over it.

Johnny:You just do an entire scene of... You have all this epic adventure, and then one scene of the party sitting around with a fantasy whiteboard, and it just says Fatcock City in the middle.

Argyle:And then you can have Callista and then just have her leave and people are going to be like, what?

Argyle:She left?

Gamemaster:Just leave.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:Usually you see this if an actress has contract disputes with the studio, but this is a book.

Benny:There's no contract to be disputed.

Johnny:She just left.

Johnny:She was there for half the book and then all of a sudden she was gone.

Johnny:And then she came back when they were at the casino and then she was gone again.

Gamemaster:yeah no I I

Argyle:I also was just thinking about recently how Josh didn't expect us to actually give

Argyle:the echo fragment to tech.

Argyle:And I was thinking about how it's just like really funny.

Argyle:Cause I think we actually did a good thing.

Argyle:I hope, but like Josh was like, one of them is going to be a greedy motherfucker.

Argyle:They're just going to touch that.

Johnny:I think at one point I explicitly did tell Josh, I'm going to take the Echo Fragment.

Johnny:And then we got there.

Johnny:I was like, I'm not going to take it.

Gamemaster:I very much expected one of you to take it.

Gamemaster:The fact that you were all like, yeah, he can have it, was exceptionally surprising to me.

Argyle:If Marzo was there, he would have taken the fucking fragment.

Argyle:But the way I envisioned Lev was Lev was a bad person that knew he was a bad person.

Argyle:And he's like, I really should not have this.

Argyle:I would be really bad.

Argyle:Marzo's like, I could change stuff.

Benny:Divex trusted him because of the architecture.

Johnny:Art Deco.

Argyle:Yep.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that makes sense.

Argyle:And then we had the humble farmer.

Argyle:who had a bunch of spikes and impaled people.

Benny:That would have been a long game if Rodak.

Anzu:That's my bad, though.

Benny:Heinrich.

Benny:Damn it.

Benny:I was like, it's one of these two.

Anzu:That's my bad.

Benny:Yeah, it is.

Gamemaster:You don't have to say that's my bad, given that Mike has named literally every character he's ever made with some selection of hard consonant at the end and like a G or a D at the beginning.

Benny:Those are one-shot names.

Gamemaster:So... And Divex... It has the D in front.

Johnny:Good divex.

Benny:Okay.

Anzu:Hey, Benny is very different.

Benny:Divex.

Argyle:DevEx has got some pop.

Benny:Divex does not have a hard G. Benny doesn't have pop.

Gamemaster:It's similar.

Benny:Benny's such a fun name.

Gamemaster:Benny actually follows a little bit from Divex, because Benny's just short for his full name, which does also have the X in it.

Benny:That's true.

Gamemaster:So, you know, you're keeping with that theme.

Benny:But okay.

Benny:But that name I didn't...

Benny:I guess I did pick that name.

Benny:I didn't originate Bennix.

Argyle:I... Yeah.

Benny:Bennix comes from somewhere.

Gamemaster:Yes, you did.

Benny:Okay.

Benny:I changed one letter of a different name.

Gamemaster:Okay, but...

Benny:And it wasn't the X. True.

Gamemaster:But when I say that you originated it, you were the one that handed me a piece of paper that said Bennix on it.

Gamemaster:Like, I didn't come up with the name, you did.

Benny:True.

Benny:But I got Bennix from somewhere.

Argyle:Man, I really hope we meet Zugg.

Johnny:That was crazy.

Argyle:Zugg's gotta be fucking crazy nowadays.

Gamemaster:So I went power hungry and Rodak came back from the dead to put him down just to avoid a... No, I'm... Right, right, right.

Argyle:Went?

Argyle:He went power hungry?

Argyle:He was always power hungry.

Gamemaster:I apologize.

Gamemaster:You're totally right.

Argyle:He had a clone of him slaving away in the copying his notebooks in a portable haul.

Anzu:My soul went to Dorcan and was like, you got to send me back because this guy's out of control.

Gamemaster:I... I...

Gamemaster:I like how you say he had a similar acronym of him in a hole doing his work and skipping over.

Gamemaster:If I recall, one of the post-campaign scenes was Zugg making an entire city's worth of clones to do his work.

Gamemaster:So it steps up.

Gamemaster:It's entirely possible in the multiple one-shots we've done in Sedecium, all of the characters have just been Zugg and just forgot.

Johnny:We still haven't gotten World War Zugg.

Argyle:Or one of his children, because they're all from different races.

Gamemaster:Right, right, right.

Gamemaster:Because he...

Johnny:It's happened at some point.

Benny:It's fine.

Argyle:Well, there was one shot about collecting an evil thug.

Gamemaster:God.

Gamemaster:What's the name of the bad guy in Marvel that there's a billion of?

Argyle:Kong?

Gamemaster:Kang.

Johnny:Oh, dang.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Zugg is just Kang.

Johnny:Gang about a fish.

Gamemaster:Yeah, Kang but a fish.

Argyle:He's a mixture of Kang, and I like to imagine he's a mixture of him and Tony Stark, when Tony Stark was like, I'm going to build Ultron.

Gamemaster:Oh, good.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:I just had such a funny interaction between different Zugs.

Anzu:you

Benny:And it's just like, I don't know, like some adventures meet the Zugg army.

Benny:It's like, we're all the same except for one slight variation, specifically designed.

Benny:So we all have one unique thing about us.

Benny:It's just like, wait, you're the original.

Benny:What's the variation for him?

Benny:He looks the same.

Benny:He's just like, I'm a bit thinner.

Benny:I'm the skinny version of Zugg.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:And it's like, you're not skinny at all.

Benny:It's like, no.

Benny:And it's just like, he's not even that.

Benny:No, he's the fatter.

Benny:And then it's just like, all right.

Johnny:That's what launched World War Zog.

Johnny:I'm level six.

Benny:Oh, my second thing.

Gamemaster:You're still six.

Benny:Are we level 7?

Benny:I can't remember.

Anzu:I don't think so.

Argyle:We're six.

Gamemaster:I hope you didn't level up to seven, because I don't think I told you to do that.

Benny:I just opened Pathbuilder and was like 6.

Benny:Why do I feel like I was 7?

Argyle:I actually thought it was seven once, too, and then I was like, I just gotta put that number back down.

Gamemaster:Do we want to play Pathfinder?

Argyle:Alright.

Argyle:Yeah!

Benny:Okay.

Gamemaster:So we have a bit of a deep dive here.

Gamemaster:It feels like it's been a while since we last did an actual campaign session.

Anzu:you

Gamemaster:So I would appreciate it if we could do one recap of the last campaign session.

Gamemaster:And then also for the party member who wasn't around, a recap of the last one shot we did.

Argyle:We can do the one-shot.

Johnny:I can do the last campaign session.

Gamemaster:Okay, we'll do the one shot first.

Argyle:Great.

Argyle:So the team got rejoined.

Argyle:The one that went to that space station, they got rejoined.

Argyle:The guy had to do one last job because now his daughter was kidnapped, so he had to get some funds to pay for her.

Argyle:They got boarded into an old Sundom warship that never made it out of the space dock.

Argyle:that Sedecium found, reverse engineered, and then put back together.

Argyle:And it's a really cool ship.

Argyle:It's like a crescent moon with a captive star in the inside that they're controlling with, I don't know, magic fishing line.

Benny:you

Argyle:And that can blast things.

Argyle:So they got to tip off that... What was the Thessian that died?

Gamemaster:Tithe.

Argyle:Yes, that Thessian.

Argyle:And it was a planet-sized Thessian, and there were people worshipping on it.

Argyle:And Harrow started to nom, nom, nom, nom.

Argyle:So then the Sundom was just, no, so Sedecium was just like, no, no, no, no.

Johnny:Thank you.

Argyle:We can't do that.

Argyle:So they took their ship.

Argyle:They boarded it to our space station.

Argyle:They're like, every able-bodied person, get on board!

Argyle:So we got on board.

Argyle:They teleported us to this site.

Argyle:Thessian's getting eaten by Harrow.

Argyle:Harrow has like a cloud of mini-Harrows.

Argyle:And they're like, guys, we can't really teleport on board because of, like, magic.

Benny:you you

Argyle:So what we're going to do is we're going to give all of you a spacesuit.

Argyle:And we're just going to throw you out of a cannon and hope some of you make it onto the Dead Descent.

Argyle:So we're like, let's go, boss.

Argyle:So we were obviously a cool team.

Argyle:We got in.

Argyle:We start doing our anime alpha formations, dodging rocks.

Argyle:A really big harrow thing tried to eat us.

Johnny:And.

Argyle:We saw it ahead of time.

Argyle:We avoided it.

Argyle:And then the way we had to merge onto it is since there was like a barricade, we had to merge into the slip.

Argyle:So we merged into the slip at a very good time.

Argyle:We then did some puzzles where we figured out space and time.

Argyle:We rolled a magical marble that we couldn't really see all the way there.

Argyle:Bingo bongo, we pop out.

Argyle:onto the planet.

Argyle:There's some evil spiders, which was very brave of Josh to do.

Argyle:We fight the spiders.

Argyle:We kill the spiders.

Argyle:Then we light a cognitive beacon.

Argyle:They went... And then they sucked up a third of the Thessian, and then we got teleported home, and they're like, mission accomplished.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's accurate.

Argyle:And we leveled up.

Gamemaster:You did.

Argyle:You told us.

Gamemaster:Yes, no.

Gamemaster:For a second, I thought you were somehow being like, and then we leveled up in the campaign because of how we did in the one shot.

Argyle:No, we're seven.

Gamemaster:No, yeah, no, no, no, no.

Benny:We were also the only team to actually plant a beacon to harvest part of Tithe.

Argyle:We're the first.

Argyle:Since Sedecium has just cracked infinite life, they're like, we'll just throw people on it.

Gamemaster:To be fair, you were the first and they didn't care about the other ones.

Johnny:you you

Gamemaster:They just needed one team to successfully do it and then they were like, we're pulling out.

Benny:We were the best.

Gamemaster:Yeah, sure.

Argyle:And if you die, we make new ones.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Yeah, they're like interesting...

Argyle:You come back.

Gamemaster:theological and moral implications of Sedecium has 100% fully figured out resurrection at a distance.

Gamemaster:So they could just throw bodies at the problem.

Gamemaster:And if they die, they could just reboot them.

Gamemaster:At worst, they lose like a day's worth of memories.

Gamemaster:So that's a whole technological whatever.

Gamemaster:But yeah, no, that's it.

Gamemaster:I'm trying to think of like things that may or may not be relevant to the actual campaign that you learned from that one.

Gamemaster:Tithe is the 10th Thessian.

Gamemaster:that Harrow killed and consumed.

Argyle:Big one.

Gamemaster:I think that might be it.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:I think that's it for things that you learned from that one shot.

Gamemaster:It was put together relatively quickly, so there aren't a lot of campaign-specific information there.

Argyle:It was a fun one shot.

Gamemaster:You learned some scientific facts about the behavior of mana in this universe, which will likely never be useful to you.

Gamemaster:But you know it now.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that works.

Gamemaster:You get a mythic point.

Argyle:Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:Noah, you wanted to do a recap of the last campaign session.

Johnny:Yeah, we were walking down a hallway and then the bad guys were walking towards us and then we were walking towards them and they were walking towards us and we did that for a very long time.

Johnny:It was a very long hallway.

Johnny:It's like that scene in Monty Python.

Johnny:And just as we were about to get to them, there was some sort of explosion and gravity went wiggity-woo and we were told it went wiggity-woo in about ten different ways and we were demonstrated two of them and then we only saw those two for the rest of the fight.

Gamemaster:Correct.

Gamemaster:I had you roll a d10, and you only rolled the ones of the things that I showed off.

Gamemaster:It's crazy.

Gamemaster:It was rude of you, actually.

Benny:Bye.

Gamemaster:But it's fine.

Johnny:But we bit-bop-bammed, bing-bang-boon, bada-bing-bada-bam, ba-la-la-la-la-la, beat them up.

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Johnny:And then things were going pop-pop-pop, and we were like, oh, we should get out of here.

Johnny:But maybe we should try and blow some more stuff up first.

Johnny:So we did try to blow some more stuff up first.

Johnny:We succeeded in blowing up a few things.

Johnny:And Afrit, I think, saw Benny, just...

Johnny:full-on saw this child and we were like that's not good we should run so we ran got out we were like wow that was so easy and then uh Teller's Run went up in smoke big mushroom cloud and everyone's like and then everyone we knew called us and was like did you guys do this and we were like yeah and then we were like maybe we should get out of town and that's where it ended

Argyle:we're one week away

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:I'm thinking of Krusty Akers.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that about covers it.

Gamemaster:Where are you going?

Benny:Krusty Akers.

Gamemaster:Uh, sure.

Gamemaster:That's good enough.

Johnny:you you

Gamemaster:The only, like...

Gamemaster:As part of the let's get out of town conversation, you did get a little bit of a recorded voice memo from the Keystone that basically said, hey, we're a week out.

Gamemaster:I expect you to be here when that week ends or else we're leaving without you.

Gamemaster:But yeah, you had successfully made it back to the Sin and Tonic.

Argyle:Thank you for clarifying that.

Argyle:I thought it was we had to get there, like, be here in about a week, not we are leaving within a week.

Gamemaster:No, no, no, no.

Gamemaster:The construction is complete.

Gamemaster:We're leaving in a week, is the instruction there.

Argyle:Again.

Gamemaster:You don't have to get there now, necessarily, but you have to be there before they leave.

Argyle:But we should.

Argyle:All right.

Gamemaster:But yeah, so you guys are in the Sin and Tonic.

Argyle:A couple cool questions for me, just while I remember.

Gamemaster:I don't think you had actually... Sorry.

Argyle:I have 367 gold worth of supplies to make alchemical stuff per menu feat.

Argyle:Do I need somewhere to make it, or can I just make potions?

Gamemaster:I will, one second, I'm fairly confident we can just say you make potions.

Gamemaster:Do you remember what feat this was so I can double check?

Argyle:Medical researcher, I think.

Gamemaster:Where did you even pick that one up?

Argyle:Medical researcher level four.

Argyle:That's where I'd like to swap it for my skill feed.

Gamemaster:Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, instead of sanctify water.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Sanctified water is kind of useless.

Gamemaster:You're not sanctifying any water?

Argyle:No, it takes too long and it lasts for too short.

Gamemaster:second let's give you medical researcher new okay okay okay um so you need an appropriate set of tools and in many cases a workshop uh i will say for for most items you'll probably be able to uh work with a

Argyle:I can't do something cool like bless all the rains in Africa and free it of vampires.

Johnny:Thank you.

Benny:Hmm.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:with a set of alchemical tools called an Alchemist's Lab.

Gamemaster:So I think that's, like, five gold pieces or something like that.

Gamemaster:You mark that off and then you're fine.

Gamemaster:I think if you, like, want to ask for something that is perhaps not, like, if it's rare or if it's outside of the bands or whatever, you might need something more in-depth, like the workshop that the twins have at Sin and Tonic.

Argyle:OK.

Argyle:Cool.

Gamemaster:But for the most part, an Alchemist's Lab should, like, handle it.

Gamemaster:It's, like, this big heavy briefcase thing that has all the tools and stuff you need in it.

Argyle:Cool, cool, cool.

Argyle:And then did we get the air breathing thing in the trunk?

Argyle:I forgot if we did that with the air scrubbing.

Johnny:Think we did.

Argyle:I think we did.

Argyle:I'm pretty sure we paid for that.

Benny:Let me check.

Gamemaster:i don't remember yes okay

Argyle:See if the book man knows.

Benny:Wasn't it like 300 or something?

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:We did.

Benny:It was 288.

Argyle:Okay, cool.

Argyle:I assume we don't need food.

Argyle:And I think we're fine, right?

Argyle:With food.

Johnny:Didn't we just leave?

Argyle:Anything else we need to do before we leave?

Anzu:Oh, yeah, I need to go to a pet store.

Argyle:Oh, I thought you did that.

Argyle:You just said you were going to do that.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:Is it still the same night or are we just kind of...

Gamemaster:So you guys, at this point, you have returned to the Sin and Tonic.

Gamemaster:It is the same evening that everything blew up.

Gamemaster:You haven't yet taken a rest.

Gamemaster:You haven't done anything.

Gamemaster:So it's like up to you what you want to do and when.

Argyle:Sounds good.

Anzu:Yeah, like tomorrow morning, if we're going to leave tomorrow and just camp out for a week, which I don't think it's a bad idea.

Anzu:I just need to visit a pet store.

Johnny:We should probably let the twins know.

Benny:I thought you ate the normal stuff, like the eggs and stuff that we eat.

Anzu:Oh, I need to get a new bird.

Benny:Oh.

Anzu:Yeah, no.

Benny:Right, sorry.

Anzu:It's not for feed.

Argyle:So, before we transverse, or transport over there, I feel like we should have a conversation, the four of us.

Anzu:yeah of course

Johnny:Yeah.

Benny:Yeah, that could be great.

Argyle:Can we get some private space?

Argyle:And some whiskey?

Argyle:And milk for the boy?

Gamemaster:You guys can go back to one of your bedrooms or take over the office in the back since Illmari's not been around to use it.

Argyle:Do y'all trust me yet?

Benny:Yeah.

Argyle:Great.

Argyle:Why are y'all all doing this?

Argyle:We just kind of showed up because it was our Oryx orders, but why are we going to... I feel like there's some secret motives in the group.

Anzu:Why are we...

Johnny:Oh.

Johnny:Yeah, I'll go first.

Johnny:I can't talk to my god because of this thing, so I need to figure that out.

Argyle:did you talk often is that why the the global guy thought you were lesser parties missing

Johnny:Yeah, we were best buds.

Johnny:I don't really know what's happened.

Johnny:Basically, every time I died, I'd have a conversation with him, like, mano a mano, and then I'd come back.

Benny:you you

Johnny:And last time, two times ago when I died, I heard the Voidsong, and then I came back.

Johnny:And I haven't been able to make contact with the big guy since.

Johnny:So... And last time I died, there was... Whatever that guy was.

Argyle:Wait.

Johnny:So, you know, I'm concerned I'm not going to get a third strike here.

Argyle:What did you see two times ago?

Argyle:Did you see anything or just hear the song?

Johnny:It was the Voidsong.

Johnny:It was the dream that I assume you guys had when you didn't die and were just asleep like chumps.

Benny:Of course, jumps.

Johnny:That's why I'm going.

Argyle:All right.

Argyle:I'm going to get the original.

Argyle:being that his host was with.

Anzu:Right, your other half.

Benny:Okay.

Johnny:Hmm.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:I've been here a while, guys.

Argyle:Don't worry, though.

Argyle:I've been in this body for, like, all the time you've known me.

Anzu:Yeah, no, I believe that for sure.

Anzu:But I'm going because the vocalist is calling us there.

Anzu:And the Embercall folks...

Anzu:Intent to do harm.

Anzu:And that would not be good.

Argyle:And your sister, or do you not care about her?

Johnny:you

Anzu:She is probably going to be there.

Anzu:Yeah, that'll be interesting.

Argyle:Do you believe in forgiveness for evil deeds?

Anzu:Yes.

Anzu:For one thing, we don't know that she's done evil necessarily.

Anzu:And...

Argyle:So we should not read her trial rights, field rights.

Anzu:I would not like her to die.

Argyle:Okay.

Anzu:There's a chance that she has been swayed by some other foul harmony.

Anzu:And in my opinion, that's not her fault.

Anzu:And maybe we could fix her.

Anzu:So...

Johnny:young Benjamin.

Benny:Yeah, I mean, this is a pretty interesting mission for me to be on.

Benny:And given I was the one hearing the Voidsong, it was kind of a dead easy pick.

Argyle:Pick?

Benny:Obviously, I picked to be dispatched to this mission to investigate.

Argyle:What do you mean, pick?

Argyle:So why did a nine-year-old get dispatched to go fight things?

Benny:I guess we're close enough.

Johnny:you

Benny:I mean, we did just blow up a portion of a city.

Benny:Are you guys familiar with how hearts can create life?

Anzu:I'm not sure if I am.

Gamemaster:The only person here who would be likely to know is Anzu.

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Anzu, you can make an arcana or an occultism check to see if you're familiar with this.

Anzu:Very well.

Anzu:28.

Gamemaster:Uh, yeah.

Gamemaster:So, I think the way that...

Gamemaster:Most organizations run their hearts on relatively short leashes.

Gamemaster:The idea being that it is a thing, a device in some people's minds to do a task or a series of tasks or something like that.

Gamemaster:It's for holding information, it's for communication, it's for stuff of that nature, but it's very much considered a tool.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:Belvedere has kind of...

Gamemaster:moved past that particular view.

Gamemaster:Belvedere is much more free about letting hearts act autonomously.

Gamemaster:And to that end, something that they discovered is that...

Gamemaster:hearts in Belvedere that sought to increase the way that they can interact with the world in some way, developed processes for either granting a piece of them to an inanimate object to make it inanimate object,

Johnny:um

Gamemaster:or like fully constructing separate objects and then imbuing them with the same general process that a heart is made.

Gamemaster:There are a bunch of different techniques by which it's made.

Gamemaster:It's not a secret necessarily, it's not some secret technique, but it is not common because in order for a heart to get to the point that it's trying to create other things to extend its influence on the world,

Gamemaster:It has already passed the bounds by which most people and organizations let a heart interact in.

Gamemaster:So it's become more of a Belvedere-specific thing.

Argyle:Is that Sam Altman?

Anzu:Damn liberal academics letting the hearts have rights.

Benny:Yeah, so hearts can kind of just make people.

Gamemaster:So that's your background.

Johnny:Hmm.

Anzu:I'm vaguely familiar.

Benny:None of you have really caught on yet, but I'm not actually a nine-year-old child.

Argyle:I think that is one of the few things we actually understood about you.

Benny:Oh, I am nine years old.

Benny:So I guess I'm technically a child.

Benny:But I've been this size since I was zero days old.

Argyle:So now it's just appropriate.

Argyle:I see.

Benny:Correct.

Johnny:This is kind of.

Benny:And it'll be weird in like four years.

Anzu:But you were designed... But you were designed specifically to appear like a child.

Argyle:Do you want some whiskey?

Benny:No, I'm nine years old.

Argyle:It's not going to stunt your growth.

Benny:Not what I'm worried about.

Benny:No.

Benny:It's an inexact process when hearts make beings.

Benny:I just came out this way.

Anzu:Whoa.

Argyle:Are your siblings that way?

Benny:No.

Anzu:They look like anything.

Argyle:Are any of your siblings rogue?

Argyle:and might try to attack us.

Benny:Maybe?

Argyle:Okay.

Johnny:Thank you.

Benny:It's hard to keep track.

Benny:There's no gestation period, really, for a heart.

Benny:And if the heart's particularly powerful, it can make quite a few beings.

Anzu:Does the heart give up some of its...

Anzu:arcane power to imbue sentience.

Benny:Yes.

Argyle:But the heart could still get more powerful, right?

Anzu:So there's a theoretical limit to how many it could make.

Benny:My dad, Atum.

Anzu:Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:Hearts don't grow naturally, but they can absolutely be fed more magical energy.

Johnny:wait follow-up question uh which heart made you is is the heart's name Atum is there like a moniker to that like an appalachian

Argyle:I wonder if kids could give him more stuff.

Gamemaster:And their kids could go out and get stuff to help them grow and bring it back.

Argyle:Now... Go ahead, Johnny.

Argyle:What about your mom?

Argyle:Do you have a mom?

Benny:Not really, no.

Argyle:Okay.

Johnny:Guys, my whole family died in the midnight sun.

Argyle:So you might have evil siblings that might try to kill us.

Argyle:Anzu might have an evil sibling that might try to kill us.

Benny:Definitely does.

Benny:100% for them, yeah.

Argyle:Argyle has multiple even demon siblings that will try to kill us.

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Argyle:Johnny, are you sure?

Johnny:By the way, you want to know how I know?

Argyle:That's where I was going with this.

Benny:Check him off.

Benny:He doesn't have any.

Johnny:Since we're just like dropping lore, I was inside of the midnight sun.

Argyle:Oh, so you were revived by your god then?

Johnny:Yeah, I used to own a tavern.

Johnny:It was called The Last Stop.

Johnny:It was in this little town whose name I'm blanking on.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:It was a little town on the border.

Johnny:And I was telling a story one night.

Johnny:And midway through the story, the world froze.

Johnny:And I looked outside, and it was all black.

Johnny:And there was a little bit of gold.

Johnny:And then there was the Watcher, and apparently my story and my jokes had caught his attention, and my story was so good that he wanted to hear the end of it.

Argyle:Are you a little upset that he didn't bring your family?

Johnny:We kind of made a deal.

Johnny:What'd you say?

Argyle:Are you a little upset he didn't bring your family?

Johnny:Yeah, I mean, I tried to argue that, but it's kind of hard to argue with a god.

Argyle:So, been there.

Argyle:Does... Why didn't you follow the compel?

Johnny:Because this was the god I did when I was in Raelion and then I almost died and the god that showed up was not the compelled.

Argyle:Alive?

Argyle:Makes sense.

Johnny:The god that showed up was the one that was like, hey, you're good with people.

Johnny:I want to know more about humans.

Johnny:So every time you die, tell me what they're like.

Argyle:Do you think he's there at all?

Johnny:So that's kind of our dealio.

Johnny:But then last time, two times ago when I died, he wasn't there.

Johnny:And that's spooky.

Johnny:Freaky diggy.

Argyle:Can other people talk to him?

Johnny:I mean, Raymond, so you two ever talk to him?

Argyle:Me?

Anzu:Not, like, very much, but I think I could still feel him, just lesser now.

Argyle:Oh.

Benny:you you

Anzu:Yeah.

Gamemaster:And to that question of like, do people in Belvedere talk to the Watcher in any amount?

Argyle:Did

Gamemaster:The answer is yes, but not Anzu or Benny.

Gamemaster:Like there are, there is a, the current provost of Belvedere is a hierophant.

Gamemaster:They've been to the Godhome.

Gamemaster:There are other members of Belvedere that have spoken to the Watcher before.

Gamemaster:Maybe not on the friendly terms that Johnny is describing it, but people have spoken to the Watcher before.

Argyle:Hey, Tanner.

Johnny:you

Argyle:Sorry, Anzu.

Argyle:How do you not know about this heart spawning a bunch of children?

Anzu:Well, I've heard about it in theoretical spaces.

Argyle:Is this a secret?

Anzu:I didn't know the extent to which it was being done.

Anzu:What you have to understand is I am not of incredibly high standing at Belvedere.

Benny:I do also want to add, I was exceptionally deceptive for the mission.

Anzu:Outside of perhaps my family name, I didn't really make it very far.

Argyle:I'm going to be honest with you, Benny.

Benny:So the fact that he didn't catch on is not a fault of him.

Benny:I mean, who really knew?

Anzu:Right.

Anzu:Yeah.

Anzu:So very, yes.

Anzu:Good job, Benny.

Benny:Thanks.

Argyle:I'm really happy you're not actually just a 40-year-old man.

Argyle:changing shape, because that would have been a little creepy.

Johnny:Yeah, this is actually one of the best outcomes.

Benny:Yeah, that was definitely one of my wins.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:So, everyone gave a lot of information.

Argyle:I guess I should also clarify.

Argyle:Argyle is a demon spawn, and I was bound to him when he was a child.

Argyle:Now Argyle left, I need to get him back.

Argyle:That's the full reason why.

Johnny:So who are you?

Argyle:I was a celestial for the judge.

Johnny:Oh.

Johnny:That's crazy.

Anzu:So it was a punishment.

Johnny:Why did they bind you to a demon spawn?

Argyle:I failed.

Argyle:I don't remember why.

Argyle:Second chance.

Johnny:Oh.

Johnny:I'm sorry.

Benny:so while we're recapping lore so you're finding demon spawn connected Argyle I'm not human I'm something way cooler Donnie used to talk to a god but Anzu has a crazy sibling Anzu do you have anything juicier for me to just

Anzu:Ah.

Johnny:We're all about second chances here.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Just to clarify, Argyle's grandfather is the judge.

Argyle:So I do think that puts him up a tier as well.

Benny:Explains why he kept running to the Scale.

Argyle:He was found in a Joker world inside of a fortress.

Johnny:Wait, who was?

Johnny:That's insane.

Anzu:Are you talking about Argyle?

Argyle:Argyle.

Argyle:Yeah, there was a whole thing.

Argyle:They sent an elite squad of...

Argyle:Judge recruits to go rescue them.

Benny:I've heard that, yeah.

Gamemaster:You guys played that one shot.

Argyle:Yeah.

Anzu:I don't really have

Argyle:And that's why my uncle is a demon.

Argyle:He was Uncle Toboggan.

Anzu:I don't really have anything juicy for you.

Anzu:I'm on the run, but my dad's okay with it, so it's not really a big deal.

Benny:Do you sell drugs or something?

Benny:Have you ever been arrested?

Benny:Have you killed someone?

Benny:Before we met.

Benny:Do you have a drug problem?

Argyle:Yeah.

Anzu:No, I was just like... I was...

Johnny:you you

Benny:Do you do weird stuff to the pets you have?

Argyle:Are you like a secret heir to a really rich... Alright, I was going to

Gamemaster:No, that's the other member of the party.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Benny:I don't know.

Benny:Something that I can...

Anzu:I was going nowhere.

Anzu:I couldn't access the psychic abilities that the rest of my family had.

Anzu:So I was just studying, and then one night I heard the Voidsong, and that opened up my mind and the world.

Anzu:And so that's what matters most to me.

Argyle:take a step towards Anzu, put a hand on his shoulder and go, you're doing pretty, pretty all right for all things considered.

Argyle:Oh.

Gamemaster:I will also throw in there, like, Benny, you are familiar with the Qureshi family.

Benny:You know what?

Gamemaster:They are a relatively high-ranking noble family that funds Belvedere.

Gamemaster:Just to clarify.

Gamemaster:Because Jorge said, are you secretly, like, an heir to a noble family or something?

Anzu:We're triplets.

Gamemaster:And the answer is yes, but also it's not a secret.

Gamemaster:He hasn't been hiding that.

Argyle:Are you the oldest sibling?

Anzu:We were all the same brood.

Argyle:So your sister's out of the picture.

Argyle:You're, you know, what about the other one?

Benny:We want to get her back in the picture.

Anzu:What do you mean out of the picture?

Anzu:That's my sister, man.

Argyle:I'm just trying to, I'm trying to see, are you, are you next in line?

Argyle:No, we'll hopefully, we'll hopefully bring her back towards the light and hopefully the real light, the judge.

Johnny:Thank you.

Argyle:But anyway, do they like him?

Anzu:I have a brother as well.

Anzu:His name is Aguirzu.

Anzu:I like him.

Argyle:Yeah, but like your family.

Argyle:Okay.

Anzu:Yeah, he's in good standing.

Benny:Are they going to give him the money and shit?

Anzu:Until very recently, I thought both of my siblings were in good standing.

Argyle:Okay.

Anzu:My sister in particular, I mean, she studied directly with my grandmother, and she's very powerful.

Benny:One down, one to go.

Benny:Well, also, he's got the most important setup.

Anzu:So the fact that she's kind of gone rogue is very strange and concerning.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:Good to know.

Argyle:So you do have a powerful, scary sister, and you are secretly rich and powerful.

Argyle:There we go.

Benny:We've all got some shit going on that is way cooler.

Benny:But he has a chip on his shoulder.

Benny:And I think that's important.

Benny:Isn't that right?

Benny:And Benny will push him.

Argyle:I mean, he also has flannels, which are arguably the coolest outfit.

Benny:He's pecked into a corner.

Benny:He's going to strike.

Benny:He's got nothing to lose.

Anzu:I'll peck you.

Benny:This is what I'm talking about.

Benny:You back him into a corner, you think range is his friend, and then all of a sudden he's pecking your eye out, pecking your brains out.

Argyle:All right.

Johnny:It has hit 100% of the time.

Gamemaster:It's one of the most dangerous weapons that you guys collectively have wielded has been that beak.

Benny:Those shots are crazy.

Gamemaster:So... That's me.

Johnny:Josh, can I retcon having done something during the downtime that is non-magical?

Gamemaster:Yeah, sure.

Gamemaster:What do you want?

Johnny:Guys, I was going to give these to us tomorrow, but I think this is a great moment, and I will run to my room and pull out a big box with...

Johnny:with the, whatever the magic, or whatever this world's equivalent of custom ink is, and come back.

Johnny:It'll pull out four denim jackets, and on the back in big gold letters, it says Iconoclasm.

Argyle:I've actually.

Anzu:Ah, very nice.

Anzu:This is good.

Johnny:One small for Benny.

Anzu:We don't know what temperatures we're going to face on our journey, so we may need a jacket.

Benny:Not to mention, ponchos have been soiled.

Johnny:Now everyone will know we're together.

Benny:They'll be looking for ponchos.

Johnny:They're looking for the poncho boys.

Anzu:Yeah, we can't do that anymore.

Anzu:You're right.

Argyle:I've sworn that I will never wear a uniform for a different group before, so.

Benny:Is it, like, magically binding, or...?

Argyle:It's morally binding.

Johnny:if it's not for a group what if it's uh what if it's just like the noun iconoclasm yes and

Benny:Oof, worse.

Anzu:Thank you.

Benny:It's merch.

Argyle:You see our guy, I'll go.

Argyle:Okay.

Benny:Our guy's going to become a lawyer after figuring out all the loopholes in his own agreements after this.

Argyle:Yes.

Benny:I used to heal people.

Argyle:It was Josh that told me that there's a bunch of people in Jewish religion that are just trying to find the loopholes.

Gamemaster:Yeah, Jews.

Argyle:That's gonna be... Yeah, it sounds hateful if I say that.

Gamemaster:That's like literally part of Judaism.

Argyle:Jew...

Gamemaster:It's a conversation with God is what it's called.

Gamemaster:But it is very much like, if God didn't want us to do this, he wouldn't have added.

Argyle:If you're not Jewish, you have to say Jewish people.

Argyle:You cannot say Jews.

Gamemaster:No, it's the Jews.

Argyle:No, no.

Argyle:That's just too close.

Gamemaster:Okay, fine.

Gamemaster:You can't say it.

Gamemaster:I can say it.

Gamemaster:Yeah, the Jews are like, if God didn't want us to do it, he wouldn't have put a loophole in there.

Argyle:Yeah, you can.

Johnny:That person is pretty good.

Gamemaster:He put it in there so we could figure it out.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:group of people in the Jewish religion.

Argyle:One other final thing before we leave.

Argyle:Should we buy another bomb from your group?

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Gamemaster:80, I believe.

Benny:Ooh, I do like bombs.

Johnny:I'll pull up a little chess piece.

Johnny:Do we have the money for another bomb, actually?

Benny:Yeah.

Johnny:We do?

Benny:How much was the first one?

Johnny:Okay.

Benny:10 gold?

Johnny:No, that's what I have.

Gamemaster:Oh.

Gamemaster:Not 10 gold.

Gamemaster:I think it was 80, unless you have a different number that's higher.

Gamemaster:If you have a different number that's lower than it was 80, if you have a different number that's higher than it's that number.

Johnny:Yeah, do we want to get another bomb for the road?

Argyle:Sounds good.

Johnny:I'll just pull the chest piece.

Johnny:Hey, Red, can we get another bomb for the road?

Johnny:I can pick up tomorrow.

Gamemaster:You hear on the other end of the chess piece, haven't you done enough?

Gamemaster:No, I'm totally joking with you.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you need another one?

Johnny:Yeah, can I pick it up tomorrow from Smiler?

Gamemaster:Yeah, that works.

Gamemaster:Can you, like, can you wait an extra day?

Gamemaster:The first bomb was already on pretty short notice.

Gamemaster:I can get you, if you need it tomorrow, I can get it to you tomorrow, but there will be a rush fee.

Gamemaster:If you can wait an extra day, if you want it rushed, we'll add another 30 gold pieces on.

Argyle:How much?

Johnny:I show the group.

Argyle:Yeah, let's do it.

Benny:The bomb was nice.

Gamemaster:110.

Johnny:What do you think, team?

Johnny:110 gold for a bomb?

Argyle:Hey, we do it.

Argyle:I want to be honest with you guys.

Argyle:I really like the bomb.

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Benny:30 gold pieces to... We don't want to do anything else here, and I guess we kind of want to get out of town and go to Krusty Acres.

Johnny:Another mortar shell?

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Think about it.

Johnny:Yeah.

Argyle:We don't need to pay for rations.

Benny:Okay.

Johnny:Okay, I'll let Red know.

Johnny:Yeah, we'll take the rush fee and pick it up tomorrow.

Johnny:Our cover might have been blown, so we got to skedaddle.

Gamemaster:All right, I'll let Smiler know.

Johnny:Thank you, my guy.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Argyle:Meanwhile, these bombs are actually like 20 gold, but since we're always expediting them, they're like, fine, we'll give them more.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Great.

Benny:Oh, it's 500 next time.

Benny:Fucking sick of hauling these out there on this.

Gamemaster:Uh, anything else you guys wanted to do?

Benny:I marked it off the group fund, by the way.

Argyle:We should let Anouk and I know that we're leaving tomorrow.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:That is a good call out.

Gamemaster:Um, Anouk and Anaïs, uh, when you catch them in their workshop are in the middle of, um, casting some kind of magic spell.

Gamemaster:Uh, it's not immediately obvious what it is, but when you walk in, they cancel it.

Gamemaster:Um, and, uh, they, they accept.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Uh, we'll make sure to be ready.

Gamemaster:We'll be ready, um, uh, tomorrow morning.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:for us to go.

Gamemaster:There is room in your car, yes?

Gamemaster:We don't have to steal our own?

Benny:Yeah, there's, yeah.

Gamemaster:OK.

Benny:Not window seats, but... Yeah, if you can, just blow up a fucking 30 city blocks or whatever.

Gamemaster:This is fine.

Gamemaster:We could make more.

Gamemaster:All right.

Gamemaster:Anything else you guys want to do?

Anzu:I go to sleep.

Gamemaster:OK.

Anzu:Well, if most of it was contained to Teller's Run...

Benny:That it was the bad people.

Benny:You're right.

Benny:Benny is... I don't know how well Benny's going to sleep.

Benny:He'll sleep, but I don't know how well...

Johnny:Johnny Knox.

Johnny:Just another day in the ghosts.

Anzu:Yeah, Johnny's a terrorist so he's used to this.

Gamemaster:Johnny used his terrorist connections to get a bomb, used it, and then immediately called up those same connections again and said, that would be great.

Gamemaster:Could I have another?

Johnny:Listen, I used to own a tavern.

Johnny:Now I'm a wanted terrorist.

Gamemaster:Mm-hmm.

Johnny:And this is how people get radicalized.

Gamemaster:Correct.

Benny:This is the progression.

Gamemaster:You guys are heading to sleep?

Argyle:Argyle is going to sleep fantastically.

Johnny:Hoorah!

Argyle:He is a soldier in this lifetime and in his past.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Argyle:He's like, it had to be done.

Gamemaster:Wonderful.

Gamemaster:Can I have Fortitude saves from everybody?

Gamemaster:I'm sorry that I keep asking for them.

Johnny:Oh, have I ever passed a 14 save in this campaign?

Benny:Right now.

Argyle:Any fun effects that we should know about for this thing?

Gamemaster:Do you have anything that helps on Fortitude saves that I should be checking to see if it would have this trait?

Argyle:I don't know if it's mental or something.

Anzu:Oh, my God.

Anzu:I'm screwed.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I'll give it the mental trait.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Gamemaster:That works.

Argyle:OK.

Argyle:Is it source divine?

Gamemaster:No.

Argyle:OK.

Gamemaster:No, this isn't from Divine Magic.

Johnny:Oh.

Benny:I'll use my... Because now you guys know vaguely what race Benny is.

Argyle:Is this a holy or unholy effect?

Gamemaster:Twelve-year-old.

Benny:I'll use my protective subroutine.

Gamemaster:Nine-year-old.

Benny:So Benny got a 20.

Gamemaster:No.

Argyle:Damn it!

Argyle:Can't do anything else.

Argyle:I got 29.

Argyle:Yeah, the people who are sleeping fine are like, oh yeah.

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Anzu:I got a 15.

Johnny:Yeah, 26, big 26.

Gamemaster:OK.

Gamemaster:15, 26, 29, and then, sorry, what did Benny get?

Gamemaster:20?

Gamemaster:20.

Benny:20 yeah happy right

Gamemaster:OK.

Gamemaster:The 15 and I think the 20 both fail.

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Gamemaster:Yeah, the 15 and the 20 both fail.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:All of you head to sleep in varying states of comfort and distress.

Gamemaster:Close your eyes.

Gamemaster:Go dream or not dream, depending on whether or not you're capable of those.

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:And you get a full rest, so for the sake of recovering HP and all of that kind of stuff, that happens.

Johnny:you

Benny:you you

Gamemaster:But all... No, it wouldn't be all four of you.

Gamemaster:I don't know if Argyle is allowed in.

Gamemaster:I can't remember.

Gamemaster:We're going to have all four of you.

Gamemaster:It's fine.

Gamemaster:He'd be able to do it.

Anzu:Argyle's not invited to the cookout.

Gamemaster:I don't know if Argyle is invited to the cookout.

Gamemaster:I think the answer is he isn't.

Argyle:Oh, is this with the fucking... With the... He already rejected this man once.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:Big head guide.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:I think Argyle can probably come along, but he's on thin ice.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:You all come to, at the same time, to the immediate realization that you are no longer in your beds.

Gamemaster:There is this cool mist kind of rolling over you, leaving this kind of... It feels damp where you are, but it's...

Gamemaster:Not cold, which is interesting.

Gamemaster:Normally you associate the feeling of being in some kind of damp weather as it being a little bit chilly.

Gamemaster:But here, not so much.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:There's no temperature at all, actually.

Gamemaster:It kind of feels like the environment is the same temperature as you are, as your skin.

Gamemaster:And so it's a little difficult, if anything, to tell where your body stops and the outside begins.

Gamemaster:But as you sit up in whatever state of alarm you might be in in this scenario, as you pull your head out of this low, misty, foggy floor, it's only about a foot off of the ground, you find yourselves in a...

Gamemaster:A seemingly white void.

Gamemaster:A familiar white void.

Gamemaster:I think all of you, except for Argyle, have been here at least once before.

Gamemaster:This is the Black and White.

Gamemaster:It is just endless nothingness in every direction except for directly in front of you as you have been arranged while you were sleeping such that when you sit up you can see this humanoid figure.

Gamemaster:Tall, extremely gangly, very thin arms and legs, but weirdly oversized hands and feet, and a bulbous, perfectly circular white head with no facial features except for a Giant grin that goes from one side of the sphere to the other.

Gamemaster:And behind him, all the way off in the distance, such that you can't quite get an idea of the proportions, is a massive, brutalist concrete skyscraper, starting from below the mist and extending far up into the horizon, past where your eye can catch, that you would also recognize at this point as the Faris.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:He...

Gamemaster:ought, as you recognize the figure, hands clasped behind his back, leaning over at this weird angle because his head is much heavier than the rest of his body, so it kind of hangs loose and puts him a little bit off balance as he leans over the four of you and says, Wakey, wakey!

Gamemaster:Oh, I am glad to have all of you back here again, as I'm sure you're glad for me to be back around.

Gamemaster:You've been having some interesting conversations, doing some interesting things since we last spoke.

Johnny:No.

Gamemaster:And he'll walk over to Argyle and hold out his big oversized hand up to you in a handshake and say, I met half of you last time.

Gamemaster:You didn't treat me very well.

Gamemaster:But don't worry, it's water under the bridge.

Gamemaster:And he'll pull his hand back since it seems obvious that you're not going to shake it.

Argyle:Our guy was just standing there.

Argyle:He's contemplating killing himself.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:The Inquisitors.

Argyle:Just like one of the other people that do that.

Argyle:Yeah, he's like, do I need to kill myself to honor the judge?

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:He will walk back so that he's in front of the four of you, and he does this kind of, like, squat where his feet are fully on the ground.

Gamemaster:It's very strange looking because his legs are much larger than his upper torso.

Gamemaster:So as he does that, his knees kind of extend up to halfway above his face before going back down toward his torso and me.

Gamemaster:And as he, like, hugs onto his legs and looks over at you guys and says...

Gamemaster:So you're going to fun places.

Gamemaster:You're figuring out what this Voidsong's going to look like, what it's doing, what it's being, what it's emitting.

Gamemaster:You excited about that?

Gamemaster:Having fun?

Anzu:Yeah, absolutely.

Benny:Understandable.

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:I'm excited, too.

Gamemaster:You guys go, and that means I get to go, because I haven't really been able to dig all that much on my own, and that's been infuriating.

Gamemaster:But since you can all go, that's great.

Gamemaster:I hope you don't mind if I interrupted your rest a little bit.

Gamemaster:I just kind of wanted to have a little bit of a chat.

Gamemaster:I kind of wanted to know, because I can't quite see in your heads, what your plan is when you get there, if you had anything in mind.

Gamemaster:I'm just kind of a soundboard right now.

Gamemaster:So work through this exercise with me.

Johnny:We're getting a bomb just in case.

Gamemaster:Are you going to blow it up?

Johnny:I don't know.

Gamemaster:You get to the end.

Gamemaster:You're on the pilgrimage.

Gamemaster:There will be people who try to kill you.

Gamemaster:That's, of course, a guarantee.

Gamemaster:There will be trials and tribulations.

Gamemaster:Of course, all the fun stuff that happens with the pilgrimage.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:But let's say you surpass those.

Gamemaster:You make it to the end.

Gamemaster:You find the Voidsong, the thing that's making it, and all that kind of stuff.

Gamemaster:Your plan is to blow it up.

Anzu:No, definitely not.

Gamemaster:Try to get rid of it.

Johnny:No, it's like a...

Argyle:Well, it's unclear the motives of the Voidsong.

Anzu:No.

Anzu:I think it needs us.

Anzu:So, you know, going to find out what, why.

Argyle:Demons need weak people to do its bidding as well.

Gamemaster:it's a demon and it's a flame it's your moths you can i can appreciate that i don't know what's over there that weird tall thing oh the Giant

Benny:And Moss needs Lame.

Johnny:Was that?

Benny:I haven't figured it out yet.

Argyle:Unclear.

Anzu:We don't know what's waiting for us over there, but we have to know.

Argyle:you know what that weird tall thing was that we saw you know the do you know the coordinates of it

Gamemaster:Giant.

Johnny:Oh, that was him?

Gamemaster:Yeah, that was him in the flesh.

Benny:I knew it.

Johnny:Where was that world?

Johnny:Was that a Joker world?

Gamemaster:Uh, I suppose.

Gamemaster:I guess it depends on how you define Joker world.

Gamemaster:It's on your horizon.

Gamemaster:It's very, very, very far starward.

Gamemaster:As far starward as you can get.

Anzu:It appeared stuck outside.

Argyle:Do you know what number it was?

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:All the way starward.

Gamemaster:Yeah, he's been like that for a little bit.

Gamemaster:Every once in a while, I pop in, laugh at him, do this, but I don't have a nose or a tongue, so... Yeah.

Johnny:He's stuck.

Argyle:Who stuck?

Gamemaster:The same person that made the firmament.

Gamemaster:That's what he's stuck behind.

Gamemaster:He's stuck in the same way that your little gods are stuck.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:They're just hanging out.

Johnny:Wait, that was the goblin?

Gamemaster:That wasn't the Godhome, no, but it's on the same area.

Argyle:You know which the coordinates of that world was?

Gamemaster:somewhere in the high... No, I'd let you know.

Argyle:Wait, wait.

Argyle:If you were to tell me, am I signing up to an implicit deal?

Gamemaster:I only make explicit deals.

Gamemaster:I want people to feel like they're appreciated in what we do, so I'm not gonna... There's no secrecy here.

Argyle:Okay.

Anzu:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Yeah, he... High... 3 million or so?

Argyle:I appreciate that.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:I don't know if the exact number is at all wired.

Argyle:that is actually very helpful.

Gamemaster:But no, he's stuck.

Gamemaster:You don't have to worry about him for a little bit, at least.

Gamemaster:He's been banging on that wall for a few years now.

Gamemaster:Nothing's gone anywhere.

Gamemaster:At one point.

Benny:The stuff we blew up, was that trying to crack the firmament to get him in?

Gamemaster:It looks like at that point they kind of gave up on that.

Gamemaster:It was never going to work the way that they were trying to do it.

Gamemaster:Listen, if that firmament is strong enough to keep out your...

Anzu:That's not what he said.

Gamemaster:your host and watcher and judge and all those fun people, it's definitely not going to crack open somebody playing a little ditty at it.

Argyle:The judge.

Gamemaster:I'll tell you that.

Argyle:I turn over to Anzu and I go, I knew the judge could have struck that Giant down.

Gamemaster:That's not what I said.

Johnny:Wait, that brings up a good question.

Johnny:Could the judge beat Giant in a fight?

Gamemaster:In a one-on-one, probably, but gods like that don't fight in a one-on-one, ever.

Argyle:I knew the judge could be.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:So the point is moot.

Johnny:Okay, our big guys versus the Sinister Six.

Johnny:Who wins?

Gamemaster:Oh, I like that name.

Gamemaster:That's not what they're called, but that's a good name.

Johnny:Wait, do you know what they're called?

Gamemaster:It's a toss-up.

Gamemaster:Yeah, of course I do.

Gamemaster:I know who they are.

Gamemaster:I know everything.

Gamemaster:Except specifically the Voidsong.

Johnny:What are...

Johnny:Wait, wait, what are they called?

Gamemaster:Well, now we're getting into telling you stuff that I think you don't need to know about.

Gamemaster:What's in it for me?

Gamemaster:This is a give and take.

Argyle:An explicit deal.

Gamemaster:I've already given.

Gamemaster:You're just taking.

Johnny:We'll tell you what the Voidsong is.

Argyle:What?

Gamemaster:Ooh, you already agreed to help me out with that.

Gamemaster:We're past that.

Argyle:You made a deal with this?

Argyle:OK.

Gamemaster:They said that they were fine if I just kind of looked over their shoulder.

Gamemaster:That's what I've been doing for a while now.

Gamemaster:I've been okay with it.

Gamemaster:I need a little bit more.

Gamemaster:All right, listen, I got stuff for you to do.

Gamemaster:If you want to make a trade, I'm happy to tell you literally anything you want to know.

Gamemaster:But there's a give and a take.

Johnny:I think I'm good for now.

Johnny:Thank you though.

Gamemaster:Okay, it's your loss.

Argyle:Tell us what we should ask them to probe.

Gamemaster:Oh, I will ask you about something, though.

Gamemaster:I'll give this one to you for free.

Gamemaster:I'd watch out for those twins you hang out with.

Gamemaster:They have not been completely honest with you, I will tell you that much.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:Oh, sure.

Gamemaster:I would ask them where they were before your prime minister got assassinated.

Anzu:Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:What I'm saying is sometimes people aren't as forthcoming as they purport to be.

Johnny:The prime minister got assassinated.

Argyle:Yes.

Gamemaster:I'm putting it all out there.

Gamemaster:You can ask me anything.

Johnny:That was Hallia?

Benny:you

Gamemaster:That was in Hallia.

Gamemaster:For, like...

Gamemaster:Overview of events that happened.

Gamemaster:Um, Prime Minister got assassinated, uh, supposedly by acolytes of Awn, if you accept what, um, Anouk and Anaïs said, and what that one shot had.

Argyle:Mainstream.

Gamemaster:Um...

Gamemaster:He gets assassinated, new prime minister takes power, bombs the shit out of Raelion.

Gamemaster:There are a few steps in the middle, but that's kind of the domino effect that happens there.

Argyle:It was them.

Gamemaster:Anouk and Anaïs say it's Aut's fault he got assassinated and Raelion gets bombed.

Gamemaster:Aut is now telling you something different.

Argyle:Quick question, Josh.

Argyle:Does Argyle know anything about the other siblings?

Argyle:Do any of them work with... Whereas the policy, do not talk to any of these types of beings.

Gamemaster:For the, like, members of the Scale?

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:I, like, I think Argyle is only really aware of aught through this, and his training was more like, don't make deals with divine entities that don't seem to have your best interests at heart.

Argyle:That Argyle would be aware of.

Argyle:That aren't the judge.

Gamemaster:Yeah, basically.

Gamemaster:I don't think Argyle would have any knowledge of the other ones, although you guys have heard about them from the twins.

Gamemaster:Like, the twins did tell you info about them.

Anzu:Yeah, we know who they serve.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:Mm hmm.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Say, listen, if you, this is probably going to be your last chance to talk to me directly for a while.

Argyle:Okay.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:If you've got nothing to ask, that's fine.

Gamemaster:I'll just send you along.

Gamemaster:Although, you know, I could, would it be easier for you if I asked for something and then you weighed the pros and cons there and then you could set your price?

Gamemaster:Would you prefer that?

Anzu:I think that would be helpful, sure.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay, I got two jobs, two eensy-beensy, little teeny jobs that you could do or you could not, if you like.

Gamemaster:First one, super simple.

Gamemaster:You guys are going to Rag and Roost.

Gamemaster:That's where your little pilgrimage is taking off.

Gamemaster:You're hopping on that strider.

Gamemaster:You're heading further down the horizon.

Gamemaster:There's going to be an opportunity a little bit into the journey where you guys are going to have to stop because there's going to be a bit of a roadblock.

Gamemaster:And while you stop, no one will be in their bedrooms.

Gamemaster:Because they'll be busy.

Argyle:We have to unlock it, so we have to pick the lock.

Gamemaster:I just need you to go in and just turn the doorknob, just turn the lock on a doorknob of a particular bedroom.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:You don't have to open it.

Gamemaster:You don't even have to go in.

Gamemaster:Just unlock the door and leave.

Gamemaster:That's it.

Gamemaster:Easy peasy.

Gamemaster:Oh, no, no, no, no.

Gamemaster:It'll be unlocked because people rushed out.

Gamemaster:You just got to go in and just turn the lock on it so that it doesn't lock again when the door closes.

Gamemaster:That's all.

Gamemaster:A little bit.

Johnny:Which, which door?

Gamemaster:That will be the... One second.

Gamemaster:I have a list of who is where.

Gamemaster:That will be bedroom one, two, three, four.

Argyle:prison cell for the most evil man in existence.

Gamemaster:No, that will be birth four.

Gamemaster:That's it.

Anzu:One more time.

Gamemaster:Birth four.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Of course, obviously, you know, nobody's gotten there yet, so we don't know who's going to be in birth four yet, but it'd be helpful if you could go in and just do that a little bit.

Gamemaster:Alternatively, if you'd like something a little bit juicier, you're going to get to the Voidsong at some point, right?

Argyle:Is that a counter and a beacon?

Gamemaster:When you get there, in the ground, just draw three dots.

Gamemaster:A little pattern.

Gamemaster:Dot, dot, dot.

Gamemaster:That's it.

Johnny:That's it.

Gamemaster:No, I would never use something as crude as that.

Johnny:I mean, that's his symbol.

Benny:which is why it seemed like you know a fine deal totally normal

Gamemaster:But it's close, if it's easier for you to think of it that way.

Argyle:Is that how you're watching our friends?

Gamemaster:No, I was watching them before that.

Argyle:And he's suddenly self-conscious.

Gamemaster:What or both?

Argyle:Do you have any juicy thing that you think we would want in change for this?

Gamemaster:I've got all kinds of info.

Gamemaster:I told you, I know literally everything.

Gamemaster:Except about the Voidsong.

Gamemaster:I mean, I could tell you anything you wanted to know.

Benny:What were the consequences of us blowing that thing up, specifically for Teller's Run?

Benny:Is this when we have to pay for something?

Gamemaster:I'll do that.

Gamemaster:Is that your question?

Argyle:Wait.

Gamemaster:Yeah, no, we're... I've offered you a deal.

Gamemaster:You could promise to do one or both of those things.

Gamemaster:And as payment, I'll tell you what you want to know.

Gamemaster:Or you could say no and walk away.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:That's totally fine too.

Gamemaster:I'm not going to push you guys to take a deal you don't want to do.

Gamemaster:That would be mean.

Gamemaster:And you guys are my friends.

Benny:Okay, so if we, you know, whatever, set up the lock so that it remains unlocked, someone stays in that room and they get killed or something.

Argyle:you you

Benny:Are we, I mean, we're just doing the action of making sure that the door is unlocked.

Gamemaster:All you're doing is there's a little button in the doorknob where it defaults to locked.

Gamemaster:You click the button, it defaults to unlocked.

Gamemaster:That's all you need to do.

Benny:But if we're like... We assume that the intent behind it is to leave the door open so a would-be assassin can come in.

Benny:Would it be breaking the deal if we guard the room that we've now unlocked?

Gamemaster:I don't know if you want to do that.

Gamemaster:That is entirely your prerogative.

Argyle:You see, Benny, he's a very smart creature, so he might know that we're going to do that, and actually that's what he wants us to do.

Argyle:Therefore, we're in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Benny:we've unlocked the door no but if if is it mine will i be the one oh

Johnny:I mean, there's no thinking this guy.

Argyle:Could you give me power to smite Giant out of existence?

Gamemaster:I'm trading info.

Gamemaster:And also, yes, but I wouldn't.

Argyle:What about info to get the power to smite Giant?

Gamemaster:Frankly, that's not your lot in life.

Gamemaster:I'm sorry.

Argyle:I understand.

Gamemaster:None of yours.

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:No, it is...

Anzu:Sorry, Benny.

Johnny:Can we huddle for a second?

Benny:It's on Zeus.

Gamemaster:There are already enough meddlesome people trying to go around and kill gods.

Gamemaster:I'm not going to teach you guys to be god killers as well, I'm sorry.

Benny:Fair.

Johnny:Can we have a team huddle?

Gamemaster:Yeah, would it be helpful if I did this and pretended that I couldn't hear what you're saying?

Johnny:Yeah, that'd be nice.

Argyle:I would appreciate that actually.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Johnny:All right, team huddle, team huddle, huddle up.

Gamemaster:I can't hear you.

Benny:The door one seems fine.

Johnny:Everyone seems fine.

Johnny:We can't do that second one.

Argyle:We cannot do this.

Benny:The second one seems... Because what if we get to the Voidsong and it's just like, hey, by the way, the guy with the big smile, don't let him anywhere near us.

Gamemaster:Hmm.

Argyle:We cannot do any of these.

Benny:And we've already agreed, so there'll be some consequences for us.

Benny:And we find out that it's actually like they're good and they're bad.

Benny:Or we don't want to pick a side.

Benny:So if we do pick a side, we pick a side now and we prejudge the Voidsong.

Benny:And we also prejudge

Benny:odds uh actions should we place the thing so if we get there's just so i think we can unlock the door oh it's actually a good it's actually a good point

Argyle:No, because what if we unlock the door and we're actually letting in a spy, not an assassin?

Argyle:And then the assassin gets to show up right when we meet the Voidsong, and the Voidsong says, don't trust that smiley guy, and it turns out there was an assassin that we let in.

Johnny:I mean, we're... Yeah.

Argyle:What?

Argyle:Do you guys even have something you want to know?

Argyle:Like, I don't really even care about the things he can offer, I'm going to be honest with you.

Anzu:No.

Argyle:What do we... Now, if he could give us the information to kill that fat fuck that killed us, yeah, I would have signed that deal.

Johnny:I thought we can just ask.

Benny:I don't have any burning questions.

Anzu:I don't need it.

Argyle:I get why you guys did that.

Argyle:Or if he could make me this cool gold sword that I could use to kill that Giant.

Johnny:No on both wheels.

Argyle:Yeah, I would do that.

Benny:Maybe you could give Anzu like an arm made of metal, but it's not from this planet or something cool that he could expose to us.

Argyle:I could build him a better arm.

Anzu:My arms are fine.

Johnny:What if one of your bird, what if you, a bird, had one arm that was a human metal arm, and it was shaped like a human arm?

Argyle:You sure?

Argyle:I could make you a better one.

Benny:It's true.

Benny:A nine-year-old's arm.

Johnny:Like, science for a nine-year-old, metal...

Argyle:like the creepy toys from Toy Story.

Anzu:I don't currently feel like I need anything that this individual has to offer us.

Benny:Benny will look over and is us having to listen to this.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:He's definitely smiling.

Benny:What's the expression on his face?

Anzu:He's probably smiling.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Roll a perception or society check to see if you can derive any emotion off of this guy.

Argyle:And I rolled a perception check.

Johnny:I'll roll a perception check, sure.

Johnny:I got a 29.

Benny:To be fair, he's like the NSA.

Anzu:This thing is unreadable.

Benny:He listens to mundane, banal shit like this all fucking day.

Benny:We're just having another dumb conversation in front of him.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:22.

Gamemaster:What did we get?

Argyle:Unless he knows that you'd be too powerful with that arm, so he's trying to... Anyway.

Gamemaster:29.

Gamemaster:Okay, with a 29, I will say that you can't tell if you're projecting it or not, but you get the vaguest sense that he thinks that Anzu's arm is fine as it is.

Anzu:Exactly.

Anzu:And this is an all-knowing being, by the way.

Benny:Yeah, I don't have any burning.

Argyle:I'm going to be honest with you guys.

Argyle:I don't even see what we'd get.

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Benny:A lot of stuff is up in the air right now.

Benny:We don't need to know something for our next move.

Benny:We're just going to hop on the pilgrimage.

Benny:If he wants us to do stuff for him, maybe he should have other friends guide us in a way to where we need information from him.

Benny:But I'm sure he's already thought of that.

Benny:Then he will turn around and start heading back.

Argyle:One other thing is, does Argyle know what...

Benny:Yeah.

Argyle:The judge's whole thing is gold, right?

Argyle:Is Argyle aware of holy gold?

Gamemaster:No.

Argyle:Okay, so Argyle has no questions.

Gamemaster:Yeah, no, we've... I'm sorry, we... No.

Argyle:I wasn't sure if Argyle's past life, he's like, I wielded holy gold.

Argyle:No, okay.

Argyle:Because he doesn't remember any of his past life, but okay.

Gamemaster:No, if... Yeah.

Johnny:A sword of holy... Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, none of you are aware of Holy Gold.

Argyle:Okay, okay.

Gamemaster:Okay, so you guys break.

Gamemaster:You come back.

Benny:Mm hmm.

Argyle:I will say I I appreciate your honesty with deals I think more divine and celestial beings need to honor that so I appreciate that

Gamemaster:I'll say...

Johnny:Aut, thank you for the opportunity.

Johnny:We will have to pass.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:No worries.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:I get you completely.

Gamemaster:You know what?

Gamemaster:Yeah?

Johnny:Actually, you don't get us completely.

Gamemaster:Don't do that.

Argyle:I'm fortunately unable to make a deal with an entity that's not the judge.

Gamemaster:Well, that's fine.

Gamemaster:You don't want to do it.

Johnny:all right

Gamemaster:I'm not going to force you into anything.

Benny:Okay.

Gamemaster:Bye.

Gamemaster:You want to go back?

Gamemaster:You can go back now.

Gamemaster:This was a pleasant chat.

Gamemaster:I will call on you again when we get closer to the Voidsong because I am invested.

Gamemaster:Have a good night.

Gamemaster:And you all blink and find yourselves sitting back in your bedrooms.

Argyle:I go to sleep.

Gamemaster:Alright, you guys finish up your rest.

Gamemaster:You gain the benefits therein.

Gamemaster:What is the plan now?

Johnny:Yep.

Benny:Grab a newspaper, a bird, a bomb, and leave.

Benny:And twins.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:I may have one other thing to buy depending on the rules of this game.

Gamemaster:A newspaper, a bird, a bomb, and twins.

Benny:Yeah, the newspaper.

Anzu:To cast a spell from a scroll.

Gamemaster:it needs to be on your spell list you need to like be able to cast it in that way uh psychics generally psychics well also like do you cast occult spells right is that true for all psychics or for you psychics

Anzu:Do I need to know the spell or just know its tradition?

Argyle:Oh.

Anzu:Like me personally or psychics generally?

Anzu:OK.

Argyle:OK.

Anzu:Yes.

Anzu:Oh, that's a good question.

Anzu:I think it's all, but I'm not positive.

Gamemaster:Okay, well, regardless, if the spells that you can cast are occult, then it has to be an occult spell, or on the psychic spell list in some way.

Gamemaster:It has to be accessible to your character to be able to cast effectively.

Gamemaster:But you don't have to be able to, like, cast it right now.

Johnny:Cool.

Anzu:All right, there's a spell that I want to buy just to cast once.

Anzu:But I need to remember what it's called.

Gamemaster:Do you know what rank it is?

Argyle:Do you guys... No.

Anzu:Time Pocket.

Gamemaster:Time pocket.

Anzu:I believe it's Time Pocket.

Anzu:Rank three.

Benny:you you

Johnny:The power of time pockets.

Gamemaster:A third rank spell scroll is 30 gold pieces.

Anzu:I will buy one.

Anzu:Wait, what happened?

Gamemaster:Why is this banned?

Gamemaster:What does this do?

Gamemaster:One second.

Gamemaster:This spell is banned from a Pathfinder Society play, and I was just trying to figure out why it was banned.

Anzu:Oh, fascinating.

Argyle:What spell is this?

Gamemaster:Time pocket.

Anzu:It's called Time Pocket.

Anzu:It lets you send an object to the next morning.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I like... I don't know why it's banned from Pathfinder Society, but that's fine.

Anzu:Basically.

Argyle:Someone sent a lot of bombs.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:A restricted option is one not appropriate for all tables or conducive to the Pathfinder Society's shared campaign setting, such as a one-of-a-kind weapon, a horrific spell used only by the most evil magic users, or player options that require high degrees of GM adjudication.

Johnny:Wow.

Argyle:Oh.

Argyle:Maybe people do this to steal stuff from the other people.

Gamemaster:Maybe.

Anzu:Well, it goes back into the hand of the person who was holding it when you cast the spell.

Argyle:Yeah, but like you can't if you're playing with a group for a one shot and then you just yoink it.

Benny:You can use it for the day.

Benny:Yeah, because there's no save.

Argyle:Now you go play at a new table the next day and you're like, actually, I have a time stop.

Argyle:New items coming today.

Benny:It just targets an item of one bulk or less.

Benny:You fling the target item forward in time and link it to the future.

Gamemaster:Oh.

Benny:The item disappears.

Gamemaster:So what you do is you go into a Pathfinder Society session, and then you show your character sheet to the GM.

Gamemaster:The GM says, yeah, this is all valid.

Gamemaster:And then at the start of the day, like the first day, you say, oh yeah, I time-pocketed this Staff of the Archmagi.

Gamemaster:It just shows up in my head now.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:It wasn't on my character sheet because I didn't have it at the start of the game.

Benny:Oh, no, no, no.

Benny:I was thinking like, oh, we're starting a fight.

Benny:I cast Time Pocket on my friendly wizard staff, and then the wizard doesn't have a staff for the whole fight.

Argyle:I was thinking of they find good loot and immediately do that and then go, whoops, now we can't sort it out.

Anzu:The creature has to be willing, so... It says targets one item of one bulk or less that a willing creature is holding.

Argyle:I'd love to negotiate with you.

Gamemaster:The creature does not have to be willing.

Gamemaster:Oh, yes, I apologize.

Gamemaster:I was looking in the wrong spot.

Argyle:Can I see that staff?

Gamemaster:It does say that a willing creature is holding.

Gamemaster:Can I look at that for a second?

Gamemaster:Go on.

Gamemaster:Either way, yes, it's fine for you to get the skull because we are not doing a Pathfinder Society play.

Johnny:We're not?

Gamemaster:We're not.

Gamemaster:So that's fine.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Anything else?

Gamemaster:So you can purchase an animal if you like.

Gamemaster:There are pet stores that exist in Hallia for a reasonable fee.

Gamemaster:You can pick up your bomb from Smiler as well.

Gamemaster:Just mark off the funds.

Gamemaster:It's 110 gold this time.

Gamemaster:You don't get a sale on this particular item in the same way that you didn't get a sale the first time you bought the bomb.

Gamemaster:Besides it being a rush bomb, you get sales when you buy weapons and stuff or items from his pawn shop.

Gamemaster:You don't get sales when you buy things from his underground explosives transportation ring or whatever.

Gamemaster:But either way, you mark that off.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Gamemaster:You can go pick up the twins if you like.

Gamemaster:They're still in the workshop.

Gamemaster:packing away by the looks of it into a bag of holding of some kind.

Gamemaster:You catch it as they are stuffing a hammer just fully in.

Gamemaster:It looks like there's a rocket on the end of the hammer, but that is par for the course for them.

Gamemaster:Okay, we are ready to go.

Anzu:How much does a bird cost?

Gamemaster:I think, like, nothing.

Anzu:Rude.

Argyle:I, too, buy a bird.

Benny:I only have one lesser healing potion.

Benny:I think Benny wants to buy another one.

Benny:Oh.

Argyle:I can make you these.

Johnny:Oh.

Argyle:Well, it will tap into my supplies of medical stuff, but I can start making potions.

Gamemaster:What?

Benny:But it's 375 a day?

Benny:It's 375 gold a day?

Argyle:What?

Benny:Is that what you said earlier?

Benny:Oh.

Argyle:No, no, I have 375 gold in total to make potions and everything.

Gamemaster:I've just brought 375 gold pieces a day.

Gamemaster:They appear in my wallet.

Gamemaster:It's part of my backstory.

Benny:He can make 375 worth of potions.

Benny:That's a fucking crazy amount of potions.

Gamemaster:And so the way that the rule works as a pet is that like normally you just spend a week of downtime.

Johnny:I hope Tanner gets a role.

Gamemaster:I guess to sidestep the spend a week of downtime because you're just going to a pet store and buying a pet instead of like finding one in the wild, we'll call it one gold piece, which makes it actually a very expensive pet.

Anzu:I have a flavor plan of bringing it from a pet to a familiar, but we'll get to that.

Benny:Then he bought two lesser healing potions.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:I thought he was going to say two birds.

Benny:24 gold pieces.

Johnny:No!

Benny:And one stone.

Gamemaster:Just to one of them.

Benny:He goes out back of the tavern and does the unthinkable.

Gamemaster:No.

Johnny:Johnny goes along in the pet store and is just standing next to Anzu going, oh, you should find this one.

Johnny:Oh, no, look at that one.

Johnny:Oh, that one's got big teeth.

Johnny:Oh, look at this one.

Johnny:And it's very distracting.

Anzu:No, I just need a raven.

Anzu:That's all I need.

Johnny:Yeah, but look at this one.

Johnny:Look at this little dinosaur thing.

Johnny:This one's on fire.

Johnny:This one looks like it's part ghost.

Johnny:That one's a rock.

Anzu:Pet rock.

Gamemaster:And that one actually just is a rock.

Gamemaster:It's just a rock.

Gamemaster:Okay, anything else?

Johnny:Is that a pet rock?

Johnny:Let's see.

Anzu:Yeah, it was a big fad back in the day.

Argyle:Um.

Anzu:It's not a boulder.

Johnny:It's a rock.

Benny:It's a rock.

Johnny:There's no pet rock in Pathfinder.

Johnny:I thought that would be one.

Anzu:rocky oh i hear it now

Gamemaster:That's crazy.

Gamemaster:Did the music cut out for anybody else or just me?

Benny:Yeah, for a second.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Strange.

Johnny:It's back.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:I've always heard it.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Anything else you guys would like to do?

Gamemaster:You are driving to something that is probably going to take you away from civilization for a while.

Argyle:I would like to cast a couple spells.

Benny:Three and a half feet.

Gamemaster:So this is your last time.

Gamemaster:If nothing else, this is your last chance to buy things with your nice little discount from Smiler.

Argyle:How much would we have to spend for rations if we bought rations?

Gamemaster:What spells did you want to cast?

Gamemaster:How long are you buying rations for?

Gamemaster:For what period of time?

Argyle:How long would you guys want to?

Johnny:Does my gingerbread house come with food?

Benny:Benny.

Johnny:Let's see.

Gamemaster:One player's worth of rations for one week.

Gamemaster:is four silver pieces.

Johnny:Guys, my gingerbread house comes with candy and cocoa sufficient to sustain 10 medium creatures that eat roughly as much as a human for as long as the house remains active.

Argyle:Great.

Argyle:So once we're on, once we're on, like once we're there, we can set this up on the thing.

Argyle:I can cast create food, and you guys can eat flavorless slop, and it will sustain 10 medium creatures an entire day.

Anzu:I think that there's going to be food available on the craft.

Argyle:Wow, so you just think it's a cruise, huh?

Benny:maybe call the strider also benny will purchase eight what's the uh what's the discount from smiler it's ten percent benny will then he will get each of us one of these

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:I'm going to eat slop.

Anzu:On the Strider.

Johnny:Ooh, a snap leaf.

Argyle:I can just make a slop, guys.

Argyle:It's free.

Argyle:It's a second level spell.

Johnny:That's very smart.

Johnny:Well, for jumping off this Giant strider, when we inevitably have to jump off this Giant strider.

Argyle:Yeah, that's a good idea.

Anzu:Are those the falling things?

Anzu:Yeah.

Anzu:How many should I add to my inventory?

Benny:Yeah.

Anzu:Yeah, I typically buy one of those for a one-shot.

Gamemaster:Just in case you gotta jump off of something.

Gamemaster:I get it.

Gamemaster:I like how it also makes you invisible while you're falling.

Gamemaster:Just in case.

Gamemaster:You don't all have grappling guns.

Johnny:Might need it.

Johnny:Does everyone have a grappling gun?

Johnny:Might be important.

Argyle:I have one, yes.

Johnny:Grappling guns.

Anzu:I could fly a little bit.

Johnny:You guys want grappling guns?

Benny:That seems so expensive Holy shit

Johnny:Oh.

Argyle:I thought we all had grappling guns.

Johnny:I think only you and me have grappling guns.

Argyle:We were the only ones who got it.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you did not, for the party, all four of you purchase grappling cups.

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:That didn't happen.

Johnny:That bunch of you have grappling guns.

Argyle:Ooh, we could get the clockwork ones.

Gamemaster:You should, at that point, get the clockwork wrist grappler.

Johnny:wait how much are those and what levels are they uh ten percent

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:The Clockwork Wrist Grappler is 40 gold pieces.

Gamemaster:It's a level 3 item.

Gamemaster:It's a grappling gun that gets attached to your wrist and rolls back up in 3 actions.

Argyle:I will... What's your discount?

Gamemaster:It's 4 gold pieces off.

Argyle:I'm buying that.

Johnny:I will.

Argyle:I'll trade some of my alchemical supplies.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:I will also get a clockwork wrist gap grappler.

Gamemaster:It is a...

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:A specialized grappling gun which attaches to your wrist connects to a spool of 50 feet of thin metal cord attached to a pack on your back.

Gamemaster:The grappler and pack are small enough that they can be concealed with a loose jacket.

Gamemaster:You can deploy or stow the gun from the attached wrist device with an interact.

Gamemaster:Reloading takes three interact actions.

Argyle:All right.

Argyle:Do any of you guys need, like, dark vision goggles?

Johnny:Oh, actually, that's...

Benny:Thank you.

Argyle:Can I buy, like, earmuffs or something?

Gamemaster:Oh, not earmuffs.

Argyle:Like, just so I could seal, in case there's some weird song I want to carry around?

Gamemaster:Earplugs.

Argyle:Yes.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:One second.

Argyle:How much are earplugs?

Gamemaster:I mean, they're going to be very cheap.

Gamemaster:It's one silver piece.

Argyle:Yeah, I'm buying earplugs.

Argyle:I'm going to get them attached so they can hang.

Argyle:So I have a little necklace I can easily go.

Gamemaster:You can insert or remove earplugs from your ears or a willing creature's ears with a single interact action using one hand.

Argyle:I'll buy earplugs for everyone.

Gamemaster:They take a minus two circumstance penalty to all... Okay.

Anzu:I guess I'll buy a Clockwork Risk Grappler.

Johnny:Did he get a clockwork?

Benny:Why are you giving in to these psychos?

Johnny:Yeah, grappler two.

Gamemaster:I shouldn't have mentioned it out loud, apparently.

Gamemaster:Yeah, no, that's fair.

Anzu:Well, if everybody's doing it, now I feel like I have to.

Johnny:Is there anything else that's in?

Anzu:Now I need to try to find it in Path Builder.

Benny:Can Smiler source grub gloves?

Anzu:Oh, no.

Anzu:I can search for it.

Gamemaster:Probably.

Gamemaster:Yeah, they're uncommon.

Argyle:I love a grip glove.

Gamemaster:He could get you some grub gloves if you wanted some grub gloves.

Gamemaster:They are a little expensive, but maybe you're willing to spend the dough.

Anzu:Why can't I find it?

Johnny:you

Benny:and um this is worth it actually how much money do i have left oh i have plenty um what's 225 times 0.9 do we want to get bags of holding 203.

Gamemaster:Okay, yeah.

Gamemaster:I agree.

Gamemaster:I don't know.

Johnny:Probably not a bad idea.

Gamemaster:I don't know what a bag of holding is.

Argyle:Our trunk's a bag of holding.

Johnny:We all want some real spacious pouches.

Argyle:Or is it?

Gamemaster:When you say bag of holding, do you mean a spacious pouch?

Benny:Uh, yeah.

Anzu:We can only afford spacious pouch one.

Gamemaster:It's the only item you can get anyway, because type 2 is level 7.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:And you're not level 7!

Benny:It has 25 bulk, which is three medium creatures.

Gamemaster:Which, if you put a medium creature in there, it has enough air for 10 minutes before it starts to suffocate.

Benny:True.

Johnny:um josh josh i'd like to buy two bottled catharsises that's i think that's i might get somewhere else i'll be 30 gold um and i will hand them both to anzu and say here you go

Gamemaster:Luckily, in this setting, if you do get a spacious pouch and you throw it in your trunk, it doesn't explode.

Anzu:So I can put it in my sleeve.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Anzu:Oh.

Gamemaster:These are... Which flavor?

Anzu:What is it?

Anzu:Oh my god.

Gamemaster:Minor, lesser, moderate?

Johnny:I don't think I can... Can I get them?

Johnny:I don't have the money for the moderate.

Johnny:Two lesser.

Gamemaster:Oh, yeah, you can't get moderate anyway.

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Gamemaster:Too lesser.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Gamemaster:Yeah, they are... You don't get the sale on this because they're alchemical.

Benny:you you

Gamemaster:30 gold pieces to mark that off.

Anzu:Whoa.

Gamemaster:They counteract every effect that has the emotion trait or is stupefying you.

Gamemaster:At second rank with a plus 8 modifier.

Anzu:Am I able to counteract my stupefiness?

Gamemaster:So you can counteract your stupefiedness.

Gamemaster:It doesn't let you use the unleashed psyche earlier, I don't think.

Anzu:I think there's two separate timers.

Gamemaster:Let me double check.

Anzu:Yeah, I think they separate the timers.

Gamemaster:Right.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:Thank you.

Anzu:But it's good to just not be.

Gamemaster:After your unleashed psyche, you can't use it for two rounds and your stupefied one for two rounds.

Gamemaster:So yeah, you can get rid of the stupefied early, you just can't then unleash your psyche again earlier.

Anzu:And what would the interact DC be?

Anzu:Would it just be against my psychic DC?

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Anzu:You know what I'm saying?

Anzu:How do I counteract it?

Gamemaster:That doesn't make much sense because that would mean it gets harder over time to clear the stupefied condition off of you, which I don't think makes much sense.

Gamemaster:I don't think you become more stupefied the stronger you are.

Anzu:Well.

Gamemaster:If you want to make it your psychic DC, we could do that, but...

Argyle:I'm going to spend the money to buy obsidian goggles.

Gamemaster:Otherwise... Okay, you can do that.

Argyle:I don't need the night vision, but it gives me a plus one perception.

Gamemaster:I'm just... At what level do you get on my psyche first?

Johnny:Oh, wait.

Johnny:Wow.

Johnny:Some of these are crazy.

Anzu:Yeah.

Johnny:Have you guys ever looked at the graphs?

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:They're crazy.

Argyle:Are they good, though?

Argyle:Every time I looked at them, I guess I didn't look enough.

Argyle:They just seemed, like, useless but cool.

Johnny:No, they are not.

Johnny:None of these are useful.

Johnny:They're just really weird.

Johnny:We can give Anzu sharpened canines.

Johnny:That'd be scary.

Gamemaster:For his beak?

Benny:Yeah, what canines?

Johnny:Oh, spry sinews isn't bad.

Benny:I guess we...

Johnny:Increase your jump distance, which is expensive.

Anzu:Darn it.

Anzu:Why would it do that?

Gamemaster:Why would what do what?

Anzu:I opened up... So I can't find the Risk Grappler on Pathbuilder.

Gamemaster:Mm-hmm.

Anzu:So I went to Foundry instead and opened up Anzu's inventory, looked it up, and did the give button, and it gave it to Ozzie.

Argyle:Did I say the clockwork one?

Gamemaster:Oh, yeah, it's because your user player character is set to Ozzie right now.

Gamemaster:One second.

Gamemaster:Okay, you can try it again.

Benny:Do we give it to Scratchy?

Anzu:Epic.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I guess the DC is just equivalent to your level.

Anzu:Did I get a discount on the wrist grappler?

Gamemaster:You did.

Gamemaster:Riz Grappler came from Smiler.

Anzu:So it's 36.

Gamemaster:Correctamundo O'Clock.

Johnny:Yeah.

Argyle:Yes!

Benny:But it's 36 gold pieces?

Benny:Yeah, I've been able to get a wrist grappler.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:Yes!

Benny:The gun was like 150.

Johnny:Can they all look like those Casio calculator watches that are the big face?

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Oh, yeah.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Argyle:You're gonna get trapped somewhere, and then we're all gonna go...

Argyle:The poor suckers on the ground are going to be stuck.

Gamemaster:Just in case we're imagining something in our heads, the grappling gun does not pull you to where it grapples.

Johnny:Thank you, Mr. Admiral.

Gamemaster:I just want to make sure that we're all on board with that right now.

Anzu:But what about the wrist one?

Gamemaster:The wrist one, if you get the clockwork version, can reel itself in so long as it's not pulling you.

Gamemaster:It's for re-spooling.

Gamemaster:It is not like Batman or Spider-Man, where you can like swing around with your wrist grappling gun.

Anzu:Now... Now, consider this, Josh.

Gamemaster:Uh-huh.

Anzu:My character is excessively light in weight.

Gamemaster:I'm considering it.

Gamemaster:Your character can fly already.

Johnny:you

Anzu:Yeah, yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:Yeah.

Argyle:Can we... Can Anzu start working on putting, like, an engine on our bicep to pull us up?

Anzu:Oh, like, extend the wristwatch to have an automatic winch.

Argyle:Yeah, like a single piston.

Anzu:Uh-huh.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Listen, I'm just saying for a level three item, you cannot use it to grapple onto a location and then get pulled up to wherever you grappled.

Gamemaster:It's just making a rope.

Argyle:close enough welcome back Tony Soprano

Johnny:Closing up.

Gamemaster:I just like the the situation I'm envisioning in my head is like 40 sessions down the line we end on a cliffhanger where you're all like in a starward trash compactor and you're all like not freaking out you're calm because we get to the next session and in unison you're all like and we grapple out with our grappling guns and then I have to say no it doesn't work like that and then you get squished and then everybody's mad so that's not happening

Benny:you

Anzu:We shoot them all up and then we start climbing them.

Argyle:Ha ha.

Johnny:We won't know until we get to those 54 seconds.

Anzu:We're getting out of here.

Gamemaster:Yeah, who knows?

Anzu:I almost feel like maybe it's not worth the extra gold to go from the regular risk grappler to the clockwork one.

Anzu:In what scenario is the extra 54 seconds going to be do or die?

Anzu:Alright, fair enough.

Argyle:Is that going to break the bank, the extra 30 gold?

Gamemaster:No, it's extra 15 gold, actually.

Anzu:It's only 15.

Argyle:Oh.

Anzu:And it's really only like 14, I guess, because of the... So... I'm ready.

Argyle:Wow.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Anyway, I'm ready.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:I'm ready.

Gamemaster:Anything else?

Argyle:I'm going to sit shotgun.

Benny:Yeah.

Johnny:I think...

Gamemaster:Who's driving?

Gamemaster:Benny?

Gamemaster:Is it still Benny?

Gamemaster:He's been the designated driver so far.

Gamemaster:He's got his phone book to help him sit up so that he can see over the dashboard.

Benny:No new information that Benny has presented has precluded him from driving.

Gamemaster:Right, yeah, no, that's true.

Gamemaster:He still does literally have a permission slip.

Gamemaster:Like, that's a true thing that he actually got.

Gamemaster:So, yeah, absolutely.

Gamemaster:Okay, so, four of you.

Argyle:Um, once we get- when we get seated, Argyle's gonna open up a map, and then he's gonna take one of his, like, uh, Scale pins and drop it on it, and he's gonna start casting a spell, and it's gonna hover and move, and then about ten minutes later, he will have completed the spell Show the Way.

Argyle:Um...

Johnny:Mm-hmm.

Argyle:You and allies in the area gain pre-natural knowledge to the path ahead, allowing you to intuit the best way forward and avoid potential obstacles.

Anzu:you

Argyle:And I can let you read the rest of the spell, but I will be doing that.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Benny:It didn't talk about the key.

Gamemaster:What?

Benny:I'm going through previous stuff that I've added to the inventory because I just annotated that things were added to the inventory and I realized it's not saved anywhere digitally.

Benny:Because I'm pretty sure, didn't we find something and then I think Johnny gave Benny eagle eyes or something?

Benny:Am I crazy?

Gamemaster:What?

Argyle:Hmm.

Benny:Eyes of the Cat?

Benny:No, definitely not Eyes of the Cat.

Benny:That's too expensive.

Gamemaster:Eyes of the rat.

Benny:But anyways, the key that no one believes that no one believes Yeah.

Johnny:Oh!

Gamemaster:You're talking about the old key that you got at the fair when you were by, like, all of the people from the first invite to the pilgrimage.

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you have that.

Johnny:I still don't know what that is.

Benny:No, I'm just saying, also just acknowledging he didn't talk about it.

Gamemaster:Key being ought?

Benny:Continue.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:So you cast Show the Way.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:So to clarify, this lets you know...

Argyle:Okay.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:the most efficient ways to get to where you're trying to go with regards to terrain features, as my reading of the spell goes.

Gamemaster:So, I will, from your casting of the spell, you're using, like, that kind of, like, plumb-bob badge dowsing method to try and figure out the path.

Gamemaster:You will note that there are two paths that it seems to, like, stick to, where if you move it over one, it...

Johnny:Ooh.

Gamemaster:like, aim assist magnetism kind of sticks around to that area, and then if you pull it enough, it switches to another one.

Gamemaster:There are two possible paths looking at this map.

Argyle:That we did.

Gamemaster:One of them is relatively straightforward.

Gamemaster:There is a road that you could drive down from, like, a major highway that goes out of Hallia that will go straight to Ragnroost.

Gamemaster:That one, that's what you used to get there last time.

Gamemaster:You pass by a few gas stations, you pass by a few off-ramps into, like, suburb-y, exurb-y areas off the beaten path there.

Gamemaster:That is short.

Argyle:Idiots path.

Gamemaster:That's the most direct route to get from where you're trying to go to where you're going.

Argyle:For the idiots.

Gamemaster:There is a second path that you can take that is definitely longer because you're off-roading a little bit in this path.

Gamemaster:You're literally just going... You're off-roading.

Gamemaster:You're going off of the road and moving into some of the more...

Gamemaster:dirt to almost canyony bits of this part of the terrain here, because you're making a big U-turn around.

Argyle:Hmm.

Gamemaster:Not a U-turn, like an arc to avoid where the car is.

Gamemaster:If you cut off earlier or later than that, you'll actually hit bits of the canyon that you just fully can't drive through.

Gamemaster:But with this spell, I will say that you can identify a path.

Gamemaster:that goes through that canyony area that a car would be able to travel through in a reasonable manner.

Anzu:I've got a 10.

Gamemaster:I would appreciate a nature check from people who are feeling up to it.

Argyle:This grants all my allies in the area, so anyone who's good at nature.

Benny:you

Argyle:Anyone good at nature?

Johnny:I've done eight.

Argyle:I got... Those are better than mine.

Anzu:I'll make a nature check.

Argyle:Can I make a survival check?

Gamemaster:Yes, but the DC is higher.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:I got plus 12, so...

Anzu:Bad and bad.

Argyle:Oof.

Gamemaster:What did we get?

Argyle:You know what?

Argyle:I'll re-roll.

Anzu:I'm sticking with my 14, Josh.

Argyle:I'll re-roll.

Argyle:What's my... Right now, survival will be a train, so I add 8.

Argyle:22!

Gamemaster:Eight.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Argyle:Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, with both of those rules, I mean, you're not really interacting with the geography of the area south of Hallia.

Anzu:Yikes.

Johnny:And.

Gamemaster:Like, that's just not been something relevant to either of your lives in any meaningful amount.

Argyle:Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:So it's not, like, particularly surprising that you don't know a ton about it.

Gamemaster:You do know...

Gamemaster:there is a reason that the road was built as far south as it is to avoid this particular canyon area.

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, with those rules, you don't know what that reason is, but you know that there's a reason.

Benny:Do we want to take the road?

Argyle:OK, I guess we take the road.

Argyle:We might get trapped.

Argyle:Do we have tire repair kits?

Benny:Well, I mean... Mindbird, can you mend?

Argyle:How much are spare tires?

Anzu:Magically, no.

Argyle:You can't?

Anzu:I could work on that maybe sometime in the future.

Anzu:Is that a thing in this game?

Benny:This isn't like an intervention.

Benny:I could look to improve.

Anzu:Is there a mending?

Gamemaster:I don't know.

Gamemaster:I mean, I know repair is an action that you can do that's crafting.

Anzu:That I might be able to do.

Gamemaster:There is a mending spell.

Anzu:I don't know if Anzu can take Mending.

Anzu:Is it Arcane or something?

Gamemaster:It's Arcane, Divine, Occult, and Primal.

Argyle:What level spell is it?

Anzu:Okay.

Gamemaster:One.

Benny:One.

Argyle:Oh, I can have it tomorrow.

Anzu:Oh.

Benny:Will we have to pay a rush fee?

Argyle:I already studied my spells.

Benny:So no rush fee?

Argyle:No rush fee if it's tomorrow.

Benny:Perfect.

Argyle:So if we get a flat, we'll have to wait till tomorrow.

Benny:I'll avoid driving badly till tomorrow.

Gamemaster:Okay, so I will note here, just reading the spell mending specifically, is that if you cast it at first level, it's of light bulk or less.

Gamemaster:And then for each level you upcast it, it increases the bulk it can repair by one.

Argyle:I'll need to second level mandate third rank spell.

Gamemaster:A tire wheel we'll say is two bulk.

Gamemaster:So if you specifically want to use mending on a tire wheel, it's a third rank spell.

Gamemaster:Yes, two bulk is a third rank spell.

Johnny:Hmm.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:So I can repair three tires tomorrow if it's needed.

Anzu:I can also... I could fix a tire with... I read a book about tires once, so I could probably do it.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you can also use mundane methods to fix a tire.

Gamemaster:There is just the general repair action, which would work in this case.

Benny:This is what I'm talking about.

Benny:He doesn't even know how to fix a tire, but the chip is so big he's going to throw himself at the task.

Benny:I watched a show about tires on the radio.

Johnny:Great.

Anzu:That makes a lot more sense than what you said before.

Anzu:I was like, how is he watching sounds?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:That's crazy.

Johnny:He's just seeing them.

Benny:I've got an active imagination.

Anzu:But then again, you are artificial, so I don't really know how you work.

Benny:Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Argyle:Oh, that's offensive.

Benny:Artificial is crazy.

Benny:This is what I'm saying.

Argyle:That is.

Argyle:That's borderline slur.

Anzu:All right.

Anzu:Perhaps you're right.

Argyle:Rich people, right?

Anzu:You're very much real, Benny.

Anzu:I'm sorry I said that.

Argyle:Rich kids just don't understand.

Argyle:All right, let's go.

Benny:Oh, I'm normal.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Yo.

Gamemaster:So, you guys are getting in the car.

Gamemaster:You've got the twins.

Gamemaster:You've got all your crap in the trunk.

Argyle:Driving down the road, and we're expecting a fight.

Gamemaster:What are you doing?

Benny:Why did Josh say the same thing twice?

Benny:We're driving away.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Argyle:But we'd rather fight with people than monsters.

Gamemaster:Oh, you're... Okay, absolutely.

Johnny:Hands up.

Johnny:Ready to roll.

Argyle:But Argyle is going to supernaturally know how to navigate the traffic in Halioth right now.

Benny:Oh, Josh, did Benny ever get that newspaper?

Gamemaster:Sure.

Benny:I said we're going to get a newspaper, the twins, and a bird, and then we're going to leave.

Gamemaster:What are you talking about?

Johnny:thank you

Gamemaster:Oh, I completely forgot.

Benny:Benny wanted to see how the coverage was of half of the city.

Gamemaster:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:Okay, yeah, I, for some reason, I thought you, like, Discord messaged me, like, this is super important, I want this newspaper item, and then he'll know what I'm talking about when I say, did he get the newspaper?

Argyle:That's what I thought he was talking about.

Gamemaster:No, okay, yeah, absolutely.

Argyle:I was like, what does this mean?

Gamemaster:No, everybody's talking about the massive explosion in Teller's Run from yesterday.

Gamemaster:Um, the streets are packed because they had to redirect all kinds of people off of the roads because people were trying to drive up and figure out what happened.

Gamemaster:The fire cordon is still there.

Benny:you you

Gamemaster:So nobody's allowed in Teller's Run right now.

Gamemaster:Uh, but there is this, uh, the weather is, is weird for the most part.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:It is, it's not rainy.

Gamemaster:It's not cloudy.

Anzu:Thank you.

Gamemaster:It's ashy.

Gamemaster:It's been raining ash.

Gamemaster:The whole time, since the bomb went off until now, just kind of coating the entirety of the ground here.

Gamemaster:People are still doing things because, you know, a little bit of an explosion isn't going to stop progress.

Gamemaster:But, you know, like they've brought out snow sweepers to push the ash off of the streets.

Gamemaster:It is...

Gamemaster:It's not pleasant.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:There are concerns that what happened there might happen somewhere else.

Gamemaster:There are pundits going on the radio talking about how the people that cordoned off the area had this come into them.

Gamemaster:There are people claiming that the Iridescent Church did it to make them pay for one slight or another.

Gamemaster:There have been no less than five different extra legal groups that have come out and claimed that they did it as a warning to insert A or B or C.

Gamemaster:Um, there are, uh, like, nobody, at least in the public, knows actually what happened here.

Argyle:It's fine, guys.

Argyle:No one knows what it was.

Gamemaster:Uh, it's entirely possible that there are people in the know, I mean, other than the ones that you've told.

Gamemaster:Um, but at the very least, the public is just freaking out, uh, because a bomb went off, nobody really knows who did it or why, um, or what its effects necessarily will be in the long term.

Argyle:So before we start our journey,

Argyle:Our guy's going to go to the back, pop the trunk, go to one of our two cases of shiver of the polar drink, grab the non-drugged one, put it open, nice and cold, and sip it as he helps navigate.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Benny:We'll lead him in.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:When you specified that you grabbed the non-drugged one, does that mean you're bringing the drugged one along as well?

Argyle:Oh yeah, we're bringing both the crates.

Gamemaster:Okay, sure.

Gamemaster:Tanner, your hand is raised.

Anzu:I'm going to buy a superb repair kit.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:to be able to fix a tire this is what i'm talking about yeah we're just throwing shit in the bag and it's floating in the fucking

Argyle:Guys, I trained for this.

Anzu:I figure if anything breaks on the car, it would be good to have.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:Good thing we have a lot of gas.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you guys have so much gas.

Argyle:You know, our air scrubber is actually good now.

Argyle:Making sure we don't have a bomb in the back.

Johnny:We do have a bomb in the back, just...

Gamemaster:You do actually literally have a bomb in the bag.

Argyle:We got two.

Benny:We squeeze the bomb into a pool noodle and throw the pool noodle into the pool of gasoline in the back of the car.

Gamemaster:Yeah, absolutely.

Gamemaster:Okay, so now you're all loaded up with stuff.

Gamemaster:I'm just double-checking

Gamemaster:I just want to know, for my own bookkeeping, how many cans of gas you have.

Argyle:It was in the hundreds, wasn't it?

Benny:I think it might have been.

Gamemaster:The problem is, I, like, searched, and the first thing that came up is, well, Divex put 30,000 clocks in his shadow, so now we're taking 300 gallons of gasoline in the back of this dumb fucking car, said Mike.

Anzu:a lot of gas is not even that dumb we could have done much dumber stuff with this car

Gamemaster:So...

Benny:That sounds like this dumb fucking... That sounds about right.

Johnny:You can't have given us this car and not gone, they're going to put something dumb in the back of this car.

Benny:300,000 gallons sounds about right.

Johnny:Remember the first campaign where we had magic holes and one of them was just filled with water that wasn't magic after we took it?

Gamemaster:I didn't expect that.

Argyle:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you definitely could have.

Benny:This was one of the things I did actually note down.

Benny:It was 150 gallons of gas.

Benny:I have it.

Benny:I don't know if you guys can see.

Benny:You guys totally can't.

Benny:It just says 150 gallons of gas.

Benny:150 gal gas.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Johnny:you you

Benny:Dominic Crosby?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:Was that the guy at the counter or something?

Anzu:I think that was one of the guys we fought there.

Benny:That's the name down that I have near the 150 gallons of gas.

Benny:We extorted.

Gamemaster:Dominic Crosby was the boss of the people that you fought.

Argyle:Hmm.

Gamemaster:which is good because I search through, whenever this stuff comes up, I need to search through the transcript.

Gamemaster:And the search is not amazing.

Gamemaster:So the first thing that came up was Jorge saying, she's like, Dominicans are so hot, which is not what I was looking for.

Gamemaster:And I'm sure there's context for that, but I'm choosing not to read it.

Anzu:No, no.

Johnny:Could the context be for that?

Benny:right there right where my 100 all right well okay it doesn't look like i have

Gamemaster:No, it's still blurry.

Johnny:It's so blurry, we just see your fingernails.

Gamemaster:It's blurry?

Gamemaster:Oh, it's not blurry anymore, but that doesn't look like English.

Gamemaster:Okay, I do see, I do see.

Argyle:150, I see it, yeah.

Argyle:I'm always weirded out when Mike turns off his filter and it's just a normal background.

Argyle:Like, I feel like he lives in, like, an abomination sometimes.

Argyle:Like, I expect, like, mustard cans.

Argyle:Like, actual, like, cans for oil, but just with mustard or something.

Johnny:What did it hurt me?

Argyle:I don't know.

Benny:I have four desks and tables.

Benny:I can see all of them.

Johnny:That mustard cans is where you go.

Johnny:We're all wearing matching denim jackets.

Argyle:We're having a great time.

Argyle:We've bonded.

Argyle:We had our heart dark.

Argyle:The twins are just there.

Gamemaster:Yeah, the twins, that's true.

Benny:This is true.

Johnny:They didn't get them.

Gamemaster:So... So I assume you kind of just stuff the twins in the back row of the car.

Benny:You didn't get enough for the rest of my comic lesson.

Benny:We're going to have a spinoff band.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:Because the way that the car is set up is that there's two seats at the front, and then there's two rows behind it.

Argyle:Twin stuff.

Gamemaster:So they'll be in the back doing whatever it is they do.

Gamemaster:Actually, can I get... So we know that Benny and Argyle are in the front two, so that means that the other two of you are in the middle row.

Gamemaster:Can I get a perception or arcana check from either of you?

Anzu:In the middle.

Gamemaster:Yeah, the two middle row people, Anzu and Johnny.

Anzu:Shoot, I'll make an Arcana check.

Anzu:Why not?

Johnny:I'll, I'll perceive.

Johnny:I'll see stuff.

Anzu:Man, I'm rolling like crap today.

Johnny:I don't see stuff.

Johnny:You know what?

Anzu:I got a 19.

Johnny:I gotta hear a point.

Johnny:I'm gonna mythic point it.

Johnny:I got two of these.

Johnny:We probably won't need these.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Uh, experts, what is that, plus six?

Johnny:I see stuff.

Johnny:I see everything.

Johnny:I got a 31.

Johnny:I'm just looking over the back of the seats like this.

Gamemaster:31.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Gamemaster:So, unfortunately, the Arcana check was not very good.

Argyle:you

Gamemaster:So, what you can figure out, Anzu, is that they are casting a spell of some kind.

Gamemaster:Johnny, looking over the corner, just trying to figure out what the hell they're doing.

Gamemaster:It's weird.

Gamemaster:I don't know if Johnny has seen many spells cast by multiple people at the same time, like, as a ritual.

Gamemaster:But they seem to be...

Gamemaster:Doing some kind of spell.

Anzu:Josh, I actually have a question.

Anzu:I might have a relevant feat.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:When you become aware of a magical effect or see a spell being cast, you can immediately determine if it twists minds with the mental trait, fights against fortune with the fortune or misfortune trait, or reveals secrets with the detection, prediction, revelation, or scrying traits.

Johnny:That's good.

Anzu:At the GM's discretion, similar effects can also fall into these categories.

Gamemaster:I'll say yes.

Anzu:So if I see them casting a spell, does it have any of those traits that I listed?

Gamemaster:Do you get to know which trait?

Argyle:Give a guess for Mitch Fortune.

Argyle:Like...

Gamemaster:Or...

Anzu:I think I get to know it generally, and it depends.

Anzu:So I know if it twists minds, which would be only mental, fights against fortune, which could be fortune or misfortune,

Anzu:or reveal secrets, which could be detection, prediction, revelation, or scrying.

Anzu:So I know that general term, and then not necessarily what the exact tag that brings it to that is.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Okay, sure.

Gamemaster:So, you would learn that it twists minds.

Gamemaster:And it has that trait.

Argyle:Stop them.

Gamemaster:But you... Johnny, you're the one seeing them actually casting the spell, or you've got a better view of it.

Gamemaster:It...

Gamemaster:I mean, it would have become noticeable pretty quickly anyway.

Gamemaster:But it appears that they've taken out a small incense burner and have just put it on the seat between them and lit it.

Gamemaster:And they're...

Johnny:you guys are so weird

Gamemaster:You see Anaïs, the guy, take out like a little jar of some kind of yellow powder.

Gamemaster:It almost looks like pollen and salt bay it over the incense.

Gamemaster:And there's a little puff of smoke.

Gamemaster:And then they both look pretty satisfied at the result and they put out the incense and they pack it away.

Argyle:Argyle shouts, no smoking in the car.

Johnny:What you guys doing?

Gamemaster:We were just casting a spell to hallow this car.

Johnny:Oh.

Johnny:Argyle, this seems like your sort of thing.

Johnny:We're in a holy car now.

Johnny:It's the Pope-mobile.

Argyle:Pontifax Mobile.

Johnny:Pond-vex-mobile.

Argyle:This is good.

Anzu:Josh, does that at all line up with the little bit of info that I detected?

Anzu:Or does it contradict, is more my question.

Gamemaster:I...

Gamemaster:One second, I don't know if you would understand what that means.

Benny:you

Anzu:Yeah, maybe not.

Argyle:Yeah, what does that mean?

Argyle:Is this now holy?

Gamemaster:Uh, so... There is the spell Hallowed Ground, but it doesn't do anything mental.

Argyle:Casting.

Gamemaster:So...

Johnny:you you

Argyle:What does that spell do, twins?

Gamemaster:It will stop anything from teleporting into the car for some time, and it makes you immune to being frightened while you're in the car.

Anzu:Now that I like.

Argyle:pretty snazzy.

Argyle:Argyle passes them, throws them a drink back there.

Argyle:Two drinks.

Gamemaster:It is temporary for the moment, but if we cast it enough times, it will become permanent.

Gamemaster:We figure if you are transporting us over an extended period of time, it is important to take some precautions.

Argyle:Do people try to jump you guys?

Gamemaster:Not as much anymore.

Benny:You keep killing them.

Gamemaster:Correct!

Gamemaster:That is the easiest way to stop people from attacking you.

Argyle:Cool.

Gamemaster:But, you know, for the time being...

Gamemaster:We are in your capable hands, as it were.

Benny:As we're driving out in the madness that is the smoke and people directing traffic because there's a bunch of...

Benny:Traffic, because everything's being redirected.

Benny:Benny will make a comment like, this fucking city has gone downhill.

Benny:This place is a mess.

Argyle:I imagine...

Argyle:vividly like once we leave the city we're on the road benny like anzu's gonna be eating like some chips or something and then benny's gonna do that like dad thing where like you put your hand behind to get some snacks yeah stoke

Benny:Give me a bit.

Gamemaster:Uh,

Johnny:Thank you.

Benny:Have you guys seen the new smoking gun?

Benny:This is a scene where Liam Neeson falls asleep in a self-driving car and the car goes up on the sidewalk and he's just hitting people and shit's flying around and he wakes up and he goes, what does this city come to?

Argyle:Yeah, so we're driving.

Gamemaster:Yeah, so you guys start... Yeah.

Anzu:Is that Naked Gun?

Argyle:Naked gun.

Argyle:He said smoking gun, but he meant naked gun.

Benny:What did I say?

Benny:Oh, make it good.

Gamemaster:Smoking gun.

Johnny:But we know.

Benny:Make it good, yeah.

Gamemaster:We figured it out.

Benny:Yeah.

Argyle:Yeah, Tanner.

Argyle:You need to point it out.

Gamemaster:We figured it out because Tanner figured it out.

Anzu:Sorry, I have a chip on my shoulder, so...

Gamemaster:He does have a chip on his shoulder, that's true.

Benny:Yes.

Argyle:Tanner's just used to having to decipher my weird cryptic language.

Benny:I'm so sorry, Tanner.

Benny:That's going to be... I'm going to have to relate everything and every conversation back to that, and it'll be funny, but it'll be at the expense of Hans.

Anzu:That's okay.

Anzu:I'm prepared.

Gamemaster:He has been trained over the years of you doing this to him in every campaign.

Johnny:Yes.

Gamemaster:So... There's... There's an old frail man who's a gay lich with a really thick neck.

Benny:There's an old man.

Benny:There's an old, frail man.

Benny:That's right.

Gamemaster:So...

Argyle:No, I think that was Rodic.

Benny:He's got a... No, but he's layering the... He's layering the old...

Argyle:No, it was Hedrick.

Anzu:Henrik had the thick neck.

Argyle:Yes.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I'm mixing things together.

Argyle:Yeah.

Anzu:Oh.

Gamemaster:I'm mixing things together.

Gamemaster:Because this isn't a one-time thing, is my point.

Gamemaster:It happens to Tanner every campaign.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Mike finds something to just make up about Tanner's character and then makes fun of him for that thing.

Argyle:There it is.

Johnny:It's so funny.

Anzu:I liked that there was not a rope in existence on Althea that could hang Henrik.

Benny:They'll hang us and Divex touches on his shoulder.

Anzu:That one was actually...

Benny:Henrik, there's not a rope in all fame that can hang you.

Argyle:Anyway, we're driving.

Gamemaster:You're driving.

Argyle:We're listening to news, podcast, whatever we're doing.

Johnny:We're doing like.

Gamemaster:What point of note is... Bam.

Benny:Benny has the driest politics or like, hobbying channel on.

Argyle:And BR.

Benny:NPR.

Johnny:Johnny's in the middle seat coming up with really dirty limericks.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:There once was a man from Raelion.

Gamemaster:So... You, um...

Gamemaster:You all start driving out of the city, coming up with some dirty limericks, listening to politics, all that fun stuff.

Johnny:Yep.

Gamemaster:There is a little bit of note where you get to the border of Hallia, and it appears that there has been a temporary cordon set up by one of the local police forces.

Gamemaster:In this particular area, it's by the Threshold Authority.

Gamemaster:Um, where they are, uh, like, turning people away, it appears.

Gamemaster:They're saying for, like, people's safety.

Gamemaster:They're asking that they not venture out of the city for the time being.

Gamemaster:Um, for whatever reason, as you get there, uh, there's a little ping goes off and you're allowed out.

Gamemaster:Um, they, um, they let you through.

Gamemaster:Uh, so you guys are able to, to pass through, uh, unhindered and start making your way out of the city limits.

Argyle:What is this?

Argyle:The twins.

Gamemaster:Um...

Argyle:Mental.

Argyle:But anyway.

Argyle:Or it's our key.

Argyle:Or it's something else.

Johnny:One or the other.

Anzu:In their defense, if it is true that it prevents fear, that would have the mental trait.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:You continue driving down the road.

Gamemaster:This is a long haul.

Gamemaster:So you guys are driving for a while.

Gamemaster:I will then ask, as we're going, can I have, I guess it has to be Benny and Argyle, because you guys are in the front.

Gamemaster:I'm going to need a perception check from you guys as like a kind of watch as you're driving forward.

Benny:24 for Bennix.

Argyle:I got those goggles.

Argyle:I'm going to re-roll that.

Argyle:29.

Gamemaster:24, absolutely.

Gamemaster:You guys are keeping Anaïs out.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:It is not long after you get off of the main highway before you are almost entirely on the road on your own.

Gamemaster:Not a lot of people are heading out to this part of Hallia, or the outskirts thereof.

Gamemaster:There's not a lot to do here.

Gamemaster:Most transit continues further south, heading towards Tormeré, or what used to be Raelion, and now kind of

Gamemaster:navigates around that area but you're you're kind of headed in the direction of nothing effectively there's this little bit of a dead zone in calaria where people aren't there anymore it's it's it's not there are no resources that are worth building out there so you you very quickly end up like on your own on the road uh i do have uh perhaps a little bit of a flavor question there's no speed limit in in calaria they're not going to restrict you like that how fast would benny be driving

Johnny:you

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:on an open road with no one in front of them, with no speed limit.

Argyle:Benny, I hope, is going to calculate just gas a little bit so he doesn't just run out of gas.

Argyle:70, 80, 90.

Benny:I mean, we'll be moving, but... Yeah, I mean, a moderate speed.

Gamemaster:Okay, that didn't, yeah, give me a mile per hour range around where you think you would be driving.

Benny:Oh.

Argyle:Oh.

Gamemaster:Okay, sure.

Benny:55.

Benny:That's the country road speed limit.

Gamemaster:Okay, sure.

Benny:If you get on a road in the US and there's no speed limit posted, it's 55.

Argyle:For gas.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:No, for gas, these are old cars.

Gamemaster:You get like four miles per gallon.

Argyle:No, I meant, but wasn't it during some gas crisis they reduced it from 75 to 55 or something?

Gamemaster:Oh, did they?

Gamemaster:I don't know.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:I don't care about history enough.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:There are no speed limits here anyway.

Gamemaster:Okay, driving a moderate speed down the road.

Gamemaster:With a 29, I think you would perceive something first.

Argyle:Mm hmm.

Gamemaster:There is this... There is this, like, strange bit of...

Gamemaster:You swear deceleration.

Gamemaster:You feel like you're kind of being pulled forward a little bit, as if the car was decelerating.

Gamemaster:But you can look over at the speedometer, and you are still at 55.

Gamemaster:You're not moving.

Gamemaster:There's just this strange, very faint, it almost feels like something is kind of pushing against the car, making it slightly harder to move forward.

Argyle:I flagged this immediately.

Benny:Uh.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:I think at that range, Benny, you don't feel it.

Gamemaster:Like with the perceptional you got, even with it being pointed out, car's handling as you'd expect it to.

Argyle:Nice.

Argyle:Scan in front of our car to see if anything attached.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:You can, like, roll another perception check specifically to see if it looks like something's latched onto your car in some way.

Johnny:Okay.

Argyle:I'll bump that up to a 21 with Guidance, because I'm now consciously looking for it.

Gamemaster:With a 20?

Gamemaster:Okay, with a 21 with Guidance.

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:No, you don't see anything that appears to have latched onto your card.

Argyle:Okay.

Benny:you you

Anzu:Is something going on up here?

Argyle:Feels like something's slowing us down.

Argyle:Car's getting more drag.

Anzu:I could do a little feel of the car.

Argyle:Yeah.

Anzu:Can I cast Detect Magic and ignore a lot of stuff that I'm aware of?

Gamemaster:Yeah, you can.

Anzu:Including what I assume was the Twin Spell?

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:One second.

Gamemaster:This is cast at third level, right?

Anzu:Yes, you learn the rank or level of the most powerful magic.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Within 30 feet of you, there is a rank 5 spell.

Johnny:Is it hallow?

Gamemaster:He omitted the spell that the peeps cast.

Gamemaster:Let's cast it.

Anzu:Yeah, there is some decently high-level magic very close to us right now.

Argyle:Monica and I, do you know what this is?

Argyle:Can you detect magic?

Gamemaster:Anouk, the magical twin, will be like, I can try.

Gamemaster:One second.

Gamemaster:I have to double check how my detect magic works.

Anzu:Thank you.

Argyle:Why do you detect magic?

Argyle:I see everything.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:No, that's not how it works.

Gamemaster:You can take the magic action to see faint or around any visible creature or object in the area that bears the magic.

Gamemaster:And if the effect was created by a spell, you learn the spell's school of magic.

Gamemaster:And I will take a look around and say, yes, there is a spell latched onto the hood of the car.

Gamemaster:Tears.

Gamemaster:What school would this be?

Gamemaster:schools oh i do i do remember the schools now it is um abjuration uh sorry it is a spell either for um bolstering defenses or impeding movement um or shielding things of that nature

Anzu:I mean, we could pull over and try to investigate or.

Argyle:What the fuck does that mean?

Benny:Okay.

Benny:What is the... What time of day is it?

Benny:Are we in the mountains?

Benny:Are we... Is it daytime?

Gamemaster:You've been driving at this point.

Gamemaster:We've skipped forward like five-ish hours.

Gamemaster:You are driving through open, sandy plains, effectively.

Gamemaster:It's not quite a desert, but it's getting there.

Argyle:We don't see anyone else around us on the road, right?

Gamemaster:It's very flat.

Gamemaster:Nope.

Benny:It's daytime.

Gamemaster:It's daytime.

Benny:Yeah, we'll pull up.

Gamemaster:At this point, it's probably like 1 p.m.

Argyle:Yeah, let's pull over and see if we can stop this.

Benny:And I probably maybe have lunch.

Benny:That's a decent view.

Anzu:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Argyle:Yeah, this might just slow down and make us lose more gas.

Gamemaster:Okay, so you're just pulling over to the side of the road.

Johnny:Let's do it.

Gamemaster:There aren't any structures where you are right now.

Gamemaster:You can keep driving to see if you come across a gas station or something like that, or you can just pick a spot on the side of the road if you like.

Argyle:Nah.

Argyle:We got a G-Wagon.

Benny:Yeah, let me just stop.

Argyle:We'll just offer it a little.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Totally doable.

Argyle:Argyle's gonna get out and immediately start filling up the trunk.

Gamemaster:You offered a little bit...

Argyle:No, filling up the car.

Argyle:Just whatever we have we need.

Gamemaster:Okay, yeah, that's fine.

Argyle:In case we gotta go, I don't wanna be fucked.

Gamemaster:You go back, you take... Okay, yep.

Gamemaster:Argyle can go and refill the tank.

Argyle:Can you guys get this off?

Argyle:I have a Dispel Magic.

Argyle:I don't think it's gonna be strong enough, though.

Benny:Mr. Byrd?

Gamemaster:Was that... Yeah.

Anzu:I'm sorry, what's going on?

Argyle:Anyway, talking to the entire group.

Argyle:I have a Dispel Magic, but I can only cast third levels, and that's... I did set it as a third, but I think I would need a crit to get a five off, right?

Anzu:What can I do?

Argyle:Or could I even get it with a... A success would just give me a fourth?

Gamemaster:Yeah, you would have to crit at a level three in order to counteract a level five.

Benny:do we know enough about what it is can you better describe what it's doing is it just

Argyle:I'm assuming it's what's slowing us down, because that makes sense.

Argyle:It would impede us, because I sense it's slowing us down.

Argyle:Yeah, it's probably not worth my spell slot.

Anzu:I don't have any other way to remove it.

Johnny:Yeah.

Anzu:Can I spend some time feeling the magic?

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:Yeah, if you want to, you can spend some time identifying this magic, if you like.

Anzu:Does quick identification work?

Gamemaster:It should.

Gamemaster:Alrighty, absolutely.

Benny:Thank you.

Anzu:So it only takes one minute.

Gamemaster:You can take a minute to identify this magic.

Gamemaster:I need you here to make an arcana check, then.

Gamemaster:Or religion.

Gamemaster:Both would work in this particular instance.

Johnny:Eat him.

Anzu:Okay, so I need to go back to the same feat oddity identification for before.

Gamemaster:It does not have any of those traits, unfortunately.

Anzu:If the magic has any of those features that I mentioned before, I think that I can choose to instead use occultism and get a circumstance bonus.

Anzu:Alright, I'm going to make an arcana check because I want to.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Argyle:And I'll...

Anzu:Does Johnny's 23 do anything for me?

Gamemaster:I think the answer is yes.

Gamemaster:Yeah, 23 will give you a plus one.

Johnny:Plus one.

Anzu:All right.

Anzu:Perfect.

Anzu:Oh, my God.

Anzu:31.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:What do you learn?

Gamemaster:You get a sense of what it does and any means of activating it.

Gamemaster:Oh, wait, no, sorry.

Gamemaster:Ongoing effect.

Gamemaster:You learn the effect's name and what it does.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Benny:Ha ha ha.

Gamemaster:The effect's name is long-range caltrops.

Gamemaster:What the effect does is latches onto things in a defined area, and when triggered, causes damage to the thing that it's locked onto.

Anzu:Oh my gosh.

Argyle:Anika and I, can you guys get this thing off?

Gamemaster:I do not have Dispel Magic prepared today.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:I was going to say, you have identified the problem.

Anzu:Sorry, go ahead.

Gamemaster:We could just remove the hood.

Anzu:That's what I was going to say.

Anzu:Is it attached specifically to the hood?

Gamemaster:Yes, it is specifically on the hood.

Gamemaster:It seems, if anything, it was designed to damage the hood and perhaps the engine below it.

Anzu:I think we just gotta remove the hood, guys.

Benny:there.

Johnny:All right.

Argyle:Try to dispel it first.

Argyle:I don't think it'll work.

Johnny:You got this.

Johnny:I'll hype him up a little.

Anzu:Would any kind of... Would Guidance help you?

Argyle:Get into the grid.

Johnny:Would aid help?

Anzu:I'll cast Guidance.

Johnny:Is guidance a circumstance as well?

Anzu:Guidance is status.

Johnny:Let me see if I know what aid is.

Johnny:What is aid?

Johnny:Oh, it's circumstance.

Johnny:I will aid.

Argyle:So how does guidance work?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Yeah, my aid didn't go off.

Anzu:You get a plus one status bonus to one attack roll, perception check, saving throw, or skill check.

Gamemaster:This is a skill check.

Johnny:You don't get anything.

Argyle:Okay.

Johnny:Sorry.

Gamemaster:What did you roll?

Johnny:I rolled a 19.

Gamemaster:So it's not a crit failure, so just nothing happens.

Argyle:I did not dispel it.

Argyle:16.

Gamemaster:What'd you get?

Gamemaster:16.

Argyle:Take that off.

Gamemaster:Yeah, unfortunately, it's still on the hood.

Johnny:Put it off.

Argyle:I mean, if they break the hood now, you can repair it, right?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:You have a repair thing?

Anzu:Well, it's still going to kind of go... I think we just leave the hood behind.

Benny:Yeah, let's take the hood in the backseat with him and see what he can do.

Johnny:What if it goes off and we're like, oh.

Anzu:I'm saying let's drive hoodless for just a minute.

Benny:You want to make a new hood?

Benny:Okay.

Argyle:That's crazy.

Argyle:What are we, driving a ride in a hot rod?

Anzu:Is it that crazy?

Anzu:Is it...

Argyle:That's what you want us to do?

Argyle:Be hot rod people?

Anzu:You expect me to just go and build a hood with a box of scraps in a cave?

Argyle:Uh, okay.

Argyle:Well, I guess we get the hood off.

Benny:yeah was there any was there any damage to the engine can i ask oh yeah we get the hood out of here

Gamemaster:Yeah, I mean, the hood comes off.

Gamemaster:It's designed to do that.

Argyle:Yeah, we'll just leave it here, I guess.

Argyle:That's fucked up, guys.

Argyle:It did go off.

Gamemaster:The spell has not gone off yet, notably.

Gamemaster:It's set, but it hasn't been triggered.

Johnny:Get it out of here.

Argyle:Should Anouk and Anaïs just hold it?

Argyle:They're pretty tanky.

Argyle:No, that might just do damage to the inside of the car.

Benny:Yeah.

Anzu:That's what I'm saying.

Anzu:It's going to damage anything in its area.

Argyle:Yeah, I guess we'll just leave it.

Argyle:It's fucked up, man.

Argyle:Fuck these people.

Argyle:Do you know who did this?

Anzu:No.

Argyle:I want to fuck those people up.

Argyle:I want to take this bomb that we have and shove it down their throats.

Anzu:We're probably going to see them at the pilgrimage.

Argyle:I'm sorry.

Argyle:Sorry.

Argyle:No, I think they're trying to get into the pilgrimage using our key stone.

Johnny:Yeah.

Anzu:Oh, yeah, true.

Anzu:That makes a lot of sense.

Benny:Good point.

Argyle:All right, drop this.

Benny:Here, let me... Benny will write on a piece of parchment.

Argyle:Let's go.

Benny:Dangerous, do not touch.

Benny:And stick it to the hood.

Gamemaster:I hope you don't mind if I retcon this from parchment to paper, because there definitely is paper.

Benny:People will listen to that, right?

Gamemaster:It's the 1960s.

Benny:Benny is a stationary hobbyist.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Benny:He never moves, but his hobby is paper.

Gamemaster:Fine.

Argyle:All right, let's keep going.

Gamemaster:I hate that so much.

Gamemaster:Okay, yeah, so you remove the hood, you chuck it on the side of the road, you bring out some papyrus, you use your quill to write do not touch dangerous, you put it on the hood, and you start driving back down the road.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Argyle:Fucking hot rod now.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Engine exposed to the environment.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:You, uh...

Gamemaster:I'm going to need another round of perception checks for this next leg of the journey here.

Gamemaster:It's round one.

Gamemaster:We're going to... Yes?

Anzu:This is a multi-day journey to get there, or no?

Gamemaster:No, no, no.

Gamemaster:The whole trip is a little over eight hours.

Anzu:Okay.

Gamemaster:You're most of the way through it, but there's another set of a few hours to go.

Anzu:Then I'm going to be working on something in the second half of the journey, but if their perception check is going to affect things early on, let me know.

Gamemaster:Okay, what did you guys get for perception checks?

Argyle:28.

Gamemaster:28?

Gamemaster:14.

Benny:Well, he's going to beat me, but... My autocorrect just tried to do a math problem for me.

Benny:14?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:Benny's eyes on the road.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's true.

Gamemaster:Benny's busy.

Gamemaster:What are you doing on Zoom?

Anzu:I'm going to interact with my new bird.

Anzu:Basically, I start by casting Message and targeting the bird.

Anzu:Which, of course, the bird doesn't understand because it's just a bird.

Anzu:But...

Anzu:I do it kind of continually over the course of like 10 or so minutes.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:And part of the way through that, or actually I'll say towards the end of that 10 minutes, I unleash Psyche.

Anzu:And...

Anzu:the ripple effects that normally kind of cascade around me when I unleash Psyche instead form this kind of barely visible link from my head to the bird's head.

Argyle:Okay.

Anzu:Um, and I, uh, with this now connection into its mind, uh, I start like, uh, kind of manipulating my hands and stuff.

Anzu:And there's like little like tethers from my hand into its head.

Anzu:And I, uh, rewire some of its, uh, thinking and its neurons, uh, until this bird is, uh, my familiar Othello.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Argyle:Oh, very cool.

Gamemaster:Brainwashed a bird into being a fellow.

Gamemaster:Great.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:Benny watches this through the rearview mirror with his eyes wide like, what the fuck is going on with that person?

Argyle:He enlightened the bird.

Argyle:It's like, wait a second.

Anzu:Othello is more of an idea than an individual.

Argyle:Yeah, you enlightened him.

Gamemaster:As you finish that up, I think Anaïs will stick his head over this and say, can you do that to your nine-year-old?

Anzu:Probably not.

Anzu:He's considerably smarter than the bird.

Gamemaster:So it would just take you longer.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:Something to think about.

Gamemaster:This could be interesting.

Anzu:Yeah, perhaps.

Argyle:Wait, quick question.

Argyle:Do you think that Benny's one of our kids?

Argyle:Like, one of us is his dad?

Gamemaster:No, I saw his permission slip when he first joined.

Gamemaster:No, he is very clearly not related to any of you.

Argyle:Okay, okay.

Argyle:I was going to say, it'd be kind of weird if this was our son.

Gamemaster:Because if... Right, but he weighs slightly more than you do.

Johnny:What do you mean?

Johnny:Me and Benny look exactly alike.

Johnny:You don't see the resemblance?

Gamemaster:So I figured if you were his parent, you would have to be at least triple the weight.

Anzu:That is sound math.

Argyle:That is true, especially since he's just a normal nine-year-old.

Argyle:28.

Johnny:Just a regular nine-year-old.

Benny:Benny, I'll link into the review.

Gamemaster:do it.

Gamemaster:I just thought it would be interesting.

Gamemaster:Okay, what did we get for the perception checks?

Gamemaster:I know we got a 14.

Gamemaster:What was the better one?

Gamemaster:28.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:With a 28, you've been hitting these perception checks.

Johnny:What?

Gamemaster:You noticed the spell originally latching onto your car, and now you've noticed the next roadblock in your way.

Gamemaster:You've noticed a roadblock in your way.

Gamemaster:It appears that someone has set up what looks to be like three vehicles horizontally across the road, blocking the road.

Argyle:Desert off roading.

Gamemaster:And there are what looks to be two people standing in front.

Gamemaster:One of them, on a 28, you can see one of them appears to have a shoulder-mounted rocket launcher pointed directly at the road.

Gamemaster:And then the other one appears to be in the middle of casting a spell, as it seems they have seen you as you were driving closer.

Gamemaster:Okay, if you're planning on taking evasive actions, you absolutely can do that.

Gamemaster:But yeah, it seems that there are people who have roadblocked this road to stop people from driving towards literally the only destination down this road, which is where you guys are going.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Johnny:As we're doing this, and as he starts to off-road, can I cast Illusory Creature?

Johnny:I'll do it at third level, so that makes the creature size Gargantuan.

Gamemaster:At the point that you spotted them, they're probably 400-ish feet away.

Johnny:Just big dragon, out of the sky, right at these guys.

Argyle:How far are they from us?

Johnny:The range is 500.

Gamemaster:Illusory creature, what is it?

Gamemaster:Okay, yeah, it moves and everything.

Gamemaster:Yeah, sure.

Johnny:Just coming straight towards them.

Johnny:Big, big black dragon.

Gamemaster:Wait, what rank are you casting it at?

Johnny:Third.

Gamemaster:Okay, so it's not gargantuan.

Gamemaster:It's huge.

Johnny:This one says, oh, interesting.

Johnny:Oh, I misread that.

Johnny:I'm so sorry.

Johnny:Huge, huge black dragon.

Gamemaster:Which is still big.

Gamemaster:That's still very big.

Johnny:O to a mech.

Gamemaster:Okay, so you make a huge black dragon appear out of the sky and start rushing towards them.

Gamemaster:You notify everybody, Argyle.

Gamemaster:I assume, Benny, that means that you start driving off the road to go around the roadblock.

Benny:Mm hmm.

Gamemaster:There is a flash as it looks like the person casting the spell completes the spell.

Gamemaster:Nothing seems to happen.

Gamemaster:This dragon comes shooting down out of the sky.

Gamemaster:I guess I have to roll... What do I want to roll here?

Gamemaster:I think you need to roll Deception or Performance.

Gamemaster:And I guess you also need to roll down the window?

Johnny:I'm going to... That was a bad roll.

Gamemaster:because you use your actions to speak through the creature with the spell disguising your voice as appropriate.

Gamemaster:Oh, actually, no, it's magically transmitted.

Gamemaster:I guess you don't need to roll down the window.

Johnny:I guess I'll use my second hero point.

Johnny:An extra six.

Johnny:Yes.

Johnny:Jesus, low rolls, 25.

Gamemaster:I'm just going to roll perception checks for each of them to see if these guys are deceived by the dragon as they fly.

Gamemaster:I don't think so.

Argyle:I am also... If I cast Benediction, does the car get an AC bonus?

Argyle:Okay.

Benny:Persian ally.

Argyle:It said allies, so I figured.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you and your allies.

Gamemaster:Your car is not an ally.

Argyle:We gotta make it sentient just so we can cast spells on it.

Gamemaster:If you make it sentient, then you can cast spells on it, but for the time being, it's just a car.

Gamemaster:Get these guys to roll perception.

Gamemaster:What did you get for your perception?

Gamemaster:I mean, for your performance?

Gamemaster:25.

Johnny:25.

Johnny:It's swooping down at those two people.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:So what is the dragon doing?

Gamemaster:It's swooping down at the car?

Gamemaster:At the cars?

Johnny:It's screaming, I'm hungry for lunch.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:Is it the growler?

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Johnny:There's fire coming out of the sides of its mouth.

Johnny:Its eyes are huge.

Gamemaster:So...

Johnny:Yummy.

Johnny:It sounds just like Fozzie Bear.

Gamemaster:The...

Johnny:It sounds like Fozzie Bear from the Muppets.

Johnny:Waka waka.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:Dragon exit.

Gamemaster:Fozzie bears its way down towards the roadblock.

Gamemaster:It does appear... First of all, you note more people start running out of the cars.

Gamemaster:Or one of the cars actually probably would start up and start driving away.

Gamemaster:But you see two people that start running off because they're not right next to their car immediately.

Gamemaster:It doesn't appear to have deterred the person with the rocket launcher on their shoulder.

Gamemaster:But the other ones absolutely believe that a dragon has headed towards them and start peeling off.

Gamemaster:Um...

Gamemaster:At this point, the rocket launcher is going to fire at you.

Gamemaster:I would love from... 300 feet?

Anzu:Wait, wait.

Anzu:How close did we get before it fires?

Anzu:That's an important question.

Anzu:Okay, never mind.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Argyle:Is this at range of the rocket launcher?

Gamemaster:Yes.

Benny:you you

Gamemaster:It's... I don't... One second.

Argyle:It's a far increment.

Argyle:I'm just checking.

Gamemaster:Give me... I will double check.

Gamemaster:I'm pretty sure.

Anzu:Wait, I might have something to do.

Gamemaster:What is the range on this?

Argyle:I'm starting to think Argyle's the only one who prepared for this trip.

Argyle:You guys got nothing.

Anzu:No, no, no.

Anzu:Hold on.

Argyle:Johnny got something.

Gamemaster:Oh, actually, you're totally right, Jorge.

Anzu:Oh, that's still too far.

Argyle:Trying to get something.

Johnny:I pulled a dragon out of the sky.

Gamemaster:They would have waited until it was in range.

Gamemaster:Silly me.

Gamemaster:I thought the range was 360 feet.

Gamemaster:The range is only 120.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:So they would have...

Argyle:Because I was going to say, a sniper is 150.

Gamemaster:Yeah, the range is 120.

Gamemaster:So, I apologize.

Gamemaster:I'm going to... At 120 feet, I'm going to roll an attack roll, and then I'm going to require the driver to make a reflex save to drive out of the way.

Gamemaster:And also, any of you can do anything you like before this rocket makes contact.

Argyle:Is the driver going to get 120 feet close, though?

Argyle:We spotted him 400 feet away.

Benny:He's keeping a wide berth.

Argyle:Could we just go, whoo?

Gamemaster:That is true.

Gamemaster:What is the... Is Benny trying to keep as much distance as possible?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:I'll say that you're... I mean, you still have to go around them, unless you turn around.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:If you're trying to drive around them, you'll at least be within, like, one range increment of it, so I'll give him a minus two to the roll.

Anzu:Josh, can you take a peek at this spell vector screen?

Gamemaster:That's me.

Anzu:I don't know if, since we're moving, I'm not sure if I can actually have it apply to us.

Argyle:Sounds like a marathon thing.

Gamemaster:It is a javelin, just, you know, not the... So yeah, no, I will accept that.

Anzu:And I assume that a rocket launcher would count as a bigger ranged weapon as opposed to a small, fast-moving projectile, but I leave that.

Argyle:Hmm.

Anzu:I can cast it in a way that gives them, I guess, the attack roll penalty.

Gamemaster:Yes, I will let you cast the vector screen in front of the car, and then for the rule of this, it'll pass in front.

Gamemaster:So they'll have, because Benny's giving them a wide berth, and because you cast the screen, they're going to have a minus four to this attack rule.

Argyle:if any guidance.

Benny:Mm hmm.

Johnny:you

Anzu:As he shoots, I kind of lean my head out the window and wave both my arms in an arc, and the air kind of hardens a little bit in their direction.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:So we're going to say for the sake of this that your car has an AC of 20.

Gamemaster:I'm going to roll the attack.

Argyle:Benny's making a reflex save.

Gamemaster:17.

Argyle:Oh.

Argyle:You have a plus one.

Gamemaster:Benny, make a reflex save for me, please.

Benny:26.

Gamemaster:26.

Argyle:Yes.

Gamemaster:With the plus one, it's a 26.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay, that is both specifically because you were out of range and the vector screen, the rocket misses.

Gamemaster:It shoots by you, passes over the hood of the car, and then hits the ground and explodes.

Anzu:Thank you.

Gamemaster:And because you saved on your reflex save, you can pull the car out of the way so you don't get hit by the explosion of the rocket hitting the ground either.

Argyle:and it misses because we don't have a hood.

Gamemaster:It appears that this...

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:And it misses because you don't have a hood.

Gamemaster:No, what happened is the other guy tried to cast a spell to blow up the caltrops and nothing happened because your hood isn't on.

Gamemaster:But you dodge the rocket.

Gamemaster:That is a one-time use rocket launcher.

Gamemaster:It's not like he's got another one to pull out.

Gamemaster:So he drops it and starts running into his car to give chase to you guys because they're not giving up with you dodging like that.

Gamemaster:But you have successfully scared off two of the three cars worth.

Gamemaster:So you only have one car following you as you continue.

Gamemaster:What is the plan here?

Gamemaster:Are you trying to swerve your way back onto the road on the other side of the roadblock?

Gamemaster:Are you trying to lose them by just going into the wilderness for a little bit?

Gamemaster:What's the strategy?

Argyle:What type of card do they have?

Gamemaster:It looks like a police sedan.

Argyle:What does it look like?

Argyle:I think we could probably beat it on the road, right?

Gamemaster:One second.

Johnny:Feeling.

Argyle:Chucking shit at it.

Anzu:Yeah, I would get back on the road.

Argyle:Yeah, I don't know why... What?

Benny:I imagine they have more guns to shoot at us.

Benny:I'm just trying to think, like, do we want to drive up to, like, a gas... Are there any gas stations on the way that we can just stop and be like, alright, well, let's go kick these guys' asses and then fill her up and... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Argyle:Yeah, we can cast spells and shit.

Anzu:Well, I at least want to distance us from the other two cars that aren't chasing.

Johnny:Hello.

Argyle:Yeah, let's get back on the road, ideally.

Johnny:Oh, we can beat this car.

Gamemaster:It looks like that.

Benny:We can be these guys.

Gamemaster:Okay, so you're getting back on the road, you're trying to outspeed them, and then if you find a place to pull over to, like, confront them, you're gonna do that?

Argyle:And then... Yeah.

Anzu:Me too.

Argyle:If they get within 120 feet of us, I will be casting a spell.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Gamemaster:So we're going to do a thing.

Gamemaster:I need... This is the fun bit of a... Yeah, let's do this.

Gamemaster:I want somebody to do me a favor and roll a d20 plus 40.

Johnny:i'll roll plus 35. oh sorry i that should have been 43.

Gamemaster:And then I need another person to roll a d20 plus 35.

Benny:I'll up a 40.

Anzu:Mm.

Benny:49.

Gamemaster:43 and 39, you said you got?

Gamemaster:49 you got.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Gamemaster:So you start speeding up.

Gamemaster:There is an issue in that as you try and pull back onto the road, it appears that the people who set up the roadblock did expect people to drive around them and have laid real caltrops, like road spikes, on the ground to try and prevent people from just driving past them.

Gamemaster:Benny knows how to drive and can attempt to start steering around it, but you are going to have to either attempt a reflex save to make your way through the field of spikes on the road safely, or you can take a speed penalty and guarantee success.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:It's your choice.

Gamemaster:The road is pretty packed, yes.

Anzu:an alternative, I can probably spend a third level spell to clear a gap for you to drive through.

Argyle:We also take reduced penalty to terrain because of my spell.

Gamemaster:Uh, that is true.

Gamemaster:You know what?

Gamemaster:I'd give you a bonus to the reflex save, uh, specifically because of that.

Gamemaster:I don't know if that's necessarily what it was intending because it's not difficult terrain.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:It's, it's hazardous terrain, but like that's a fair call out.

Argyle:Oh, OK.

Gamemaster:Um, but yeah, so I will say that it is a pretty hard check to, to serve around to the stuff without slowing down, without damaging the car.

Anzu:Fair enough.

Gamemaster:Um, but it is possible.

Benny:I think Benny is going to take the speed penalty.

Benny:Because if Benny goes through and we hit something anyways, we're going to have to stop.

Johnny:you

Benny:Or we can just go through slower, in which case if they catch up to us, we'll have to stop anyways.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Gamemaster:So you will take the speed penalty and carefully drive through past the spikes, going off-road where you need to to move out of the way, but not too far off-road because you can tell that they salted the ground out there as well.

Anzu:Thank you.

Gamemaster:You make it through that minefield pretty easily.

Gamemaster:I have to roll something to see if they make it through.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Yeah, no, I rolled a crit.

Gamemaster:They're doing fine.

Gamemaster:They follow you behind and unfortunately do start to gain on you.

Gamemaster:I will say around this point, they are in the 120 foot range at this point that they've caught up as we move into the next segment of the chase.

Gamemaster:If you're doing anything at 120 feet, now's the time.

Gamemaster:Otherwise, I'm going to need somebody to roll a d20 plus 40 and a d20 plus 35.

Argyle:Yes.

Argyle:I would cash.

Anzu:I'm just going to send a telekinetic projectile.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:What are you aiming at?

Argyle:I'm going to cast Moonlight Bray.

Anzu:What am I aiming at?

Anzu:I guess I'll try to aim, for now, at a tire.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Roll an attack roll for that.

Gamemaster:And then Moonlight Ray.

Argyle:I will also aim at a tire.

Gamemaster:Is that a thing that you aim?

Gamemaster:Yeah, it's a ranged spell attack.

Anzu:And I'll do piercing.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Okay, so Piercing and Holy Beam of Freezing Moonlight.

Argyle:So, other question.

Argyle:Argyle actually has the spell and knows how it works.

Argyle:Does Argyle think instead of aiming at a tire, I could aim at ground to make an ice to try to slip?

Argyle:Or...

Argyle:Because it's cold.

Argyle:I don't know if that... I don't even think there's water for it to freeze, but... Yeah, it's okay.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I don't... I think... Yeah, I'm going to say no, unfortunately, in this instance.

Anzu:Dude.

Argyle:It's okay.

Gamemaster:17 and a 28.

Argyle:I expect it.

Argyle:28.

Anzu:I'm rolling so bad today.

Anzu:I got a 17.

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, a 17 isn't enough.

Gamemaster:You actually do land the hit, but it just bounces off of the tire.

Gamemaster:It doesn't appear to do any damage.

Gamemaster:With a 28 that does hit, roll damage.

Argyle:Is this tire unholy?

Gamemaster:No.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:I know you have to ask, but no, the tire is not unholy.

Gamemaster:13 points of damage?

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:13, and it's cold, so these are hot tires.

Argyle:It might cause some weird rubber breakage.

Argyle:That's when I'm pitching it.

Argyle:Cold, damn it.

Benny:They're all seasoned.

Benny:No.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:Oh.

Gamemaster:The colds does not appear to do any additional or reduced damage to the tires, but I have written down that you've done 13 points of damage to which tires specifically?

Argyle:The front right, because that would be right behind Argo.

Gamemaster:Front right.

Anzu:you

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Gamemaster:Front passenger side.

Gamemaster:Okay, that's fine.

Gamemaster:What did we get for the D20 rules?

Gamemaster:Plus 40 and plus 35.

Johnny:uh did not 48.

Benny:I got a plus.

Benny:55.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Gamemaster:It seems the blast of cold has actually given you a little bit of speed on them.

Gamemaster:You have cleared the point where it seems they put traps on the road, so you are now just on open free road again, and you're free to start accelerating.

Gamemaster:And you do start to pull away a little bit from them.

Gamemaster:They drop from 120 feet behind you to 150 feet as we go into the third segment.

Gamemaster:but it seems that you are at this point continuing to accelerate.

Argyle:Okay.

Argyle:Does anyone have, like, a wall?

Gamemaster:Is there anything anybody wants to do with this segment, or are we just going to do the rules again?

Argyle:Uh... No.

Anzu:We have a bomb.

Johnny:I can make a wall of little guys.

Benny:They all get flanking.

Johnny:If you pull up right next to them, I can drop six little guys on their car.

Argyle:Oh, wait.

Benny:Put him in the car.

Benny:Just causing a fucking... It looked like a Michael Bay film.

Argyle:Okay.

Benny:Car would just turn and...

Anzu:Josh, what distance are they now?

Anzu:Did you say?

Gamemaster:150.

Gamemaster:The car is 150 feet behind you.

Anzu:Okay, I actually... I can do another thing at 150 still.

Anzu:Also, telekinetic projectile, I just realized, requires the target to be a creature, so I don't know if I can actually set it at a tire.

Argyle:See if you can.

Argyle:I'm trying to see something.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you can send a tire.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Benny:Their car is sentient.

Anzu:I can reach spell my 120 foot...

Anzu:telekinetic projectile to be 150.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:If you'd like to, you can certainly do that.

Gamemaster:Which tire are you aiming for?

Anzu:The same one that Argyle hit.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Roll an attack roll.

Anzu:I crit.

Gamemaster:Do you actually crit?

Gamemaster:You crit, yeah.

Anzu:I got a 32 crit.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you crit.

Gamemaster:Okay, roll damage.

Gamemaster:Double it.

Anzu:I deal double damage.

Anzu:If I do star 2, will it multiply it?

Gamemaster:Yes, sir.

Gamemaster:And this is piercing damage, correct?

Anzu:Yes.

Anzu:4d6.

Anzu:34!

Argyle:It's his grappling gun.

Anzu:Fantastic.

Gamemaster:34 points of damage, okay.

Gamemaster:34 points of damage is enough to just, well, it's 34 points of damage plus the additional five because the tire is weak to piercing damage.

Gamemaster:Why are you making that face?

Gamemaster:It's not crazy for a tire to be weak to piercing damage.

Argyle:Makes a lot of sense.

Gamemaster:Is enough to just straight up pop the tire.

Gamemaster:So the front right tire of the car bursts and the car starts to swerve a little bit as it hits the ground and immediately starts dragging.

Gamemaster:Which...

Gamemaster:fully, like, will decelerate them for the next segment.

Gamemaster:So I need, at this point you guys are accelerating, I need a d20 roll plus 60, and I need a d20 roll.

Gamemaster:Flat.

Benny:Plus 60.

Benny:I got the plus 60.

Benny:I gotta get higher than 15.

Johnny:I got a 15.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:77.

Gamemaster:77.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Your car continues to accelerate forward, pulling away from where that roadblock was, while the car behind you is limping along.

Gamemaster:They have to take some time to kind of right it, but the car is not going to be able to do a high-speed chase on three wheels, effectively.

Gamemaster:We're going to do one more, just to see if by random chance they manage to catch up to you, but I need a d20 minus 10.

Gamemaster:And I need a D20 plus 70.

Gamemaster:86 and negative one.

Johnny:I got a negative one.

Benny:plus seventy eighty-six

Johnny:Negative one.

Gamemaster:Okay, 86, you guys speed along.

Gamemaster:You're heading into the horizon, heading towards your destination.

Gamemaster:They attempt to maneuver to turn and right themselves and overcorrect and fully flip the car.

Gamemaster:And you guys just continue driving off into the distance, having left them behind.

Gamemaster:The road stop, unsuccessful.

Argyle:This is why those fuckers didn't get a Keystone.

Argyle:They suck.

Anzu:Amateurs, for sure.

Argyle:Do you have any idea what group that was?

Gamemaster:We'll roll a retroactive perception check to see if you could figure out from their bearing or whatever who that was trying to take your shit.

Benny:Oh, Jesus.

Argyle:I got a crit 35.

Gamemaster:Crit 35.

Gamemaster:Okay, so I'm not really sure how looking at a series of unmarked vehicles you would be able to discern this information, but with a 35 crit, their bearing is that of... These are hired hands, clearly.

Gamemaster:They do not come from a militant organization of any kind.

Gamemaster:This is an org that wanted in...

Gamemaster:that just like hired some mercs to do their business for them and did not pay top dollar for the mercs that they were hiring.

Argyle:Now, I sound... I sound racist thinking it's Yamamoto Airfield.

Gamemaster:So you would like just kind of guessing, thinking about what names might possibly want in.

Gamemaster:The thing that comes to mind is Yamamoto Aerospace is like a competitor of Hildebrandt.

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Argyle:Ah, of course!

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Argyle:The Yamamoto Airfield, guys!

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Argyle:They can't win via production, so now they got...

Gamemaster:It's canon now.

Johnny:Leave it.

Anzu:They're always looking to weasel their way into things.

Gamemaster:I've decided for Argyle... Argyle's racist.

Gamemaster:The reason the name stands out to you is because they actually had a very public loss much earlier, like a few weeks ago, where somebody broke into their compound and took a ton of their shit, which you gather was part of this as well.

Johnny:Hmm.

Gamemaster:So they had a keystone and lost it and are now attempting to take another keystone and did not successfully do it.

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:But you continue down the road.

Gamemaster:Thankfully, relatively uneventfully at this point, there's only like an hour left of your drive.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:But it seems that you guys started driving here a week before you actually needed to.

Gamemaster:So some companies haven't even set up yet.

Argyle:I have

Gamemaster:You head out pretty soon after the call got sent out.

Gamemaster:And the companies that don't have keystones don't know the call was sent out.

Gamemaster:So this was a company that was just setting stuff up just in case.

Gamemaster:And you passed on through until you see in the distance the city of the ragged roost and the massive, now complete strider standing in the middle of it, awaiting its pilgrims.

Gamemaster:And that's where we'll end today's session.

Benny:That's so funny in my head, being like, all right, we'll just set up here.

Argyle:Shotgun.

Benny:We'll wait.

Benny:It's got to be weeks away.

Benny:What the fuck is that on the horizon?

Benny:Oh, fuck.

Benny:Get ready.

Benny:Wake up.

Benny:Wait, what are you doing?

Gamemaster:Honest?

Benny:Someone's listening to the radio, eating something, reading a book.

Johnny:Oh, yeah.

Benny:Oh, fuck.

Benny:Get the rocket launcher.

Anzu:Get the one rocket.

Benny:they miss the boss looks they're like what the are you doing get in the car and get half there's a dragon it's true

Argyle:But they cast that spell on us, so I think they probably knew we were coming.

Argyle:If the spell had tracking, they're going to think we stopped.

Gamemaster:To that point, they did not know that you had removed the hood, because they tried to activate the caltrops when you got by.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:So they knew it had attached, but they didn't know the hood was taken off of the cart.

Gamemaster:So...

Argyle:Mm-hmm.

Argyle:They might just thought we paused for a while, and they're like, wait a second, they're here!

Argyle:Fuck.

Argyle:Or no.

Benny:Because it has to be.

Argyle:I like that they I like to imagine that the windows are open in our car for us the spells and they're just they're hearing us blast just some like NPR guy being like so the key to building a strong business is to and then there's like there's a child a bird

Gamemaster:Honestly, you guys...

Benny:I imagine we're on a road trip.

Benny:People are rolling down the window to get some fresh air in.

Benny:So Benny has to turn it up loud enough to hear it over the windows.

Benny:And that's when I knew that adventuring in the Southeastern was going to be my life's work.

Benny:That's very interesting.

Johnny:shooting mind bullets out the window.

Argyle:His feathers are catching, so he's actually getting pulled a little bit.

Gamemaster:You guys really were the best case scenario for them anyway, because you didn't kill any of them.

Gamemaster:Like, you can imagine at some point, Protectorate is going to come driving down that road as well on the way over.

Gamemaster:So, like, you guys were the nicest possible outcome for them there.

Argyle:They might try again.

Gamemaster:You didn't kill them.

Gamemaster:They're still around.

Argyle:We didn't do any damage besides one tire.

Argyle:And then the Protectorate's going to roll through with their fucking god tank.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:I don't know what they have.

Benny:Yeah, the Protectorate is going to be like, did we secure the front battering ram?

Benny:We did.

Benny:And then just floor it through these people.

Argyle:Rocket Launcher bounces off.

Argyle:They got another round.

Benny:Someone pops out of the sunroof with their own rocket launcher.

Argyle:This one has multiple shots.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:Oh no!

Johnny:I'm in a magic locker entree that can just automatically reload.

Johnny:Feels like it's not too big a stretch.

Argyle:I mean, honestly, I would be surprised if someone that comes down this road can summon an actual dragon.

Johnny:We're gonna get hit by a real dragon and not the Fozzie Bear of dragons.

Benny:I was thinking that mathematically, you're at the last point before the pilgrimage.

Benny:The strongest people have these.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:At the beginning, the weakest people had them.

Benny:Now it's the strongest because they took it from the other people.

Gamemaster:They invested heavily.

Gamemaster:That rocket launcher is 10,800 gold pieces.

Benny:Why?

Benny:A $10,000 consumable.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:That's how much that consumable item costs.

Argyle:How much damage does it do?

Gamemaster:12d6.

Benny:Not enough.

Anzu:That would have not been ideal for the car.

Gamemaster:No, it does additional damage to vehicles and stuff like that as well.

Argyle:I was also thinking about, wasn't there like a 99% chance?

Johnny:Wolf.

Gamemaster:It cannot be reloaded, and once its rocket is fired, the weapon is useless.

Gamemaster:Sorry.

Argyle:Isn't there a 99% chance that the Protectorate won that against the other company?

Argyle:The one time we played it.

Argyle:Like when we rolled it.

Argyle:Like when they took it from someone.

Gamemaster:Oh, yes, yes.

Gamemaster:Yeah, so when we were resolving the rolls, the Protectorate had a very, very high, but not 100% chance of taking the crystal from who they were taking it from.

Benny:Uh...

Argyle:I was thinking.

Argyle:It would have been really bad.

Gamemaster:They, you know... It was fine.

Argyle:If they failed.

Argyle:Because they knew about us.

Argyle:That would not have been bueno.

Argyle:But.

Gamemaster:They got it.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:I really was debating whether to go with the judge or to go with the Protectorate person.

Argyle:It would have been kind of cool to be a Protectorate.

Benny:Yeah, it was fun, though.

Gamemaster:there will be some of them sure there will be some members of the Protectorate on board the pilgrimage probably so yeah and one of them may or may not be in birth 4 you don't know who knows of Lev?

Benny:We got... Through.

Argyle:Maybe if I ever create a level 15 Thaumaturge to come into this campaign, he'll be a Protectorate.

Johnny:become best friends with them.

Argyle:Maybe they're a disciple of Lev.

Gamemaster:in a different solar system?

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:Disciple of Lev.

Argyle:I still think the lighthouse came to this planet, so I don't know if I'd say different solar system.

Gamemaster:There's no way of knowing if the lighthouse came here or not.

Argyle:I think that big forest we walked out and said, here, Farrand.

Benny:We can ask it.

Argyle:I'm watching you, Josh.

Argyle:It's my theory.

Benny:We can ask it.

Argyle:And we all know Lev is going to be old.

Gamemaster:You guys have all the information required to know where the lighthouse ended up, okay?

Gamemaster:I'm not going to tell you anything.

Gamemaster:You either figure it out or you know nothing for the end of time.

Argyle:Yeah, it broke the filament.

Argyle:And that's when the gods came.

Argyle:They're just Lev.

Gamemaster:All of the gods are just Lev.

Argyle:They're all Lev with different heads.

Argyle:That's why he didn't want to tell us that Lev definitely could have killed the Giant.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Argyle:He's like, I can't tell these people that.

Gamemaster:It's true.

Argyle:I don't want to gas them up too much.

Benny:My God, if it broke.

Argyle:Because Aut can see through our characters and see us.

Anzu:So, which one of the gods is modeled after Lev's old man persona?

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Argyle:well it has to be um supremacy because uh that old man could that old man could take on the entire the host uh he could they could take on uh the entire dungeon and summon all of his other selves so unnecessary especially when it was a dead thing

Johnny:old man lip past present future all the general

Gamemaster:Which one is...

Gamemaster:Which god is Supremacy?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:That's true, yeah.

Gamemaster:That's true.

Johnny:That dude was already dead.

Johnny:He was a brain hooked up to a computer.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Yeah, but you successfully tricked him into thinking you were an old guy with some ghosts.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:Good job.

Johnny:That was the dumbest bit.

Gamemaster:You really showed him.

Gamemaster:Henrik definitely didn't do that.

Argyle:We got him!

Johnny:We got that brain in a jar.

Argyle:Henrik just fucking killed him.

Argyle:Do you remember that?

Anzu:It was like the best possible outcome.

Argyle:Yeah, remember when Henrik just killed that duke?

Argyle:Duke sends his regards.

Johnny:The Duke sentences were held.

Argyle:We really thought we were cooking with that.

Benny:you

Argyle:Yeah, Rodak.

Anzu:No.

Argyle:We really thought we were cooking with that.

Argyle:We're like, well, then we'll attack the frail old man and tell him that the Duke did it.

Gamemaster:That did happen.

Johnny:And then he took a lightning bolt right to the face and got back up and all of us went, hmm.

Johnny:I think immediately afterwards, one of us went up against one of the true warforged and took like 50 points of damage and we realized we were in a different scenario than we thought.

Gamemaster:But you successfully rescued the slaves in that scenario, so it worked out.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:It was fine.

Argyle:And Lev... No, no, no.

Argyle:It wasn't Lev.

Argyle:It was... What was the guy's name?

Gamemaster:Zugg?

Argyle:No, no, no.

Gamemaster:Dahl?

Argyle:Your original character.

Anzu:Lex.

Gamemaster:Lex?

Argyle:Lex.

Argyle:Lex was like, yeah, I'll shoot Dahl in the face with a lightning bolt.

Gamemaster:Yeah, Lex didn't know either.

Gamemaster:But also he was lying to you.

Argyle:Yeah.

Argyle:That's fucked up.

Gamemaster:Lex totally knew he was just lying to you.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:It happens.

Argyle:It's fucked up.

Gamemaster:But it's okay because no one knows Lex anymore.

Argyle:And the time-traveling... Time-traveling...

Argyle:Zugg Child got eaten by the the Hydra.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I don't... The false hydrant... Yeah, I don't think this would make a good plot of a story.

Gamemaster:I think as soon as you break out time-traveling child gets eaten by memory monster, people, like, lose the plot a little bit.

Argyle:Gotta write this in the book.

Argyle:People are gonna be like, whoa!

Johnny:I'm traveling Zogchild.

Argyle:Yeah, no.

Gamemaster:Happens.

Gamemaster:Yeah, okay, so I think we're...

Gamemaster:I think we're at the end of this session.

Argyle:Wait, sorry.

Gamemaster:Are we... I was just going to ask if we're around next Monday.

Argyle:Actually, one final... Yeah.

Johnny:Yeah.

Anzu:Yes.

Anzu:I think that would be great.

Benny:Depends.

Gamemaster:Are we around next Monday with level 7 characters?

Gamemaster:You don't have to if you don't want to.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:Oh, I will be.

Johnny:Expert spellcasting?

Johnny:Master level proficiencies and things?

Anzu:Yeah, that'll be fun.

Benny:Weapons specialization.

Gamemaster:guys are going on a pilgrimage we're starting a new we're starting a new story arc kind of not really we're doing stuff this is you mean this is the longest that we have spent in a campaign in one location um so now we're going to a different location you got to do that sometimes which what

Benny:Well, I mean, we already defeated the Embercall, so...

Anzu:But the location was infinitely large as we could go voidward and starward.

Johnny:Yeah.

Johnny:A secondary location.

Anzu:I guess not infinitely, but I'm just messing with you.

Gamemaster:No, I... What I mean, like, is that you were in the city of Hallia for an extended period of time.

Gamemaster:Even if you went, you know, left or right, starboard or rightward.

Gamemaster:Now we're in a... Okay.

Gamemaster:You can't do that.

Gamemaster:Jorge just sent me his level 7 character sheet.

Johnny:That was so fast.

Benny:Oh, I have it ready.

Anzu:Well, he already has it to level 20, so of course it's going to be ready.

Benny:I'm just

Gamemaster:I know.

Gamemaster:All he does is click one button to increment the level, and then he forwards it along, and that's it.

Anzu:Also, there's not a ton at level 7, at least for me.

Gamemaster:in terms of stuff you get or in terms of choices you have to make.

Johnny:Yeah.

Anzu:I get a skill increase, a general feat, and some level 4 spells.

Gamemaster:I don't know what you guys get at level seven.

Johnny:Oh, level four spells.

Johnny:Oh, man.

Johnny:What am I going to take?

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Level four spells is a good time.

Anzu:Yeah.

Argyle:Oh, you know what?

Anzu:We should maybe coordinate so we don't take the same thing, but we'll get to that.

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:Cool.

Johnny:Wait, we have the same list.

Argyle:Actually, no, I wouldn't have the spells until tomorrow anyway, so it doesn't even matter.

Argyle:We'd have to sleep to get the spells.

Argyle:So that spell cheek is still valid.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Argyle:You know what I also realized from Campaign 1?

Argyle:Since we never got Tech's fucking backstory or origin, because he never went down any of those paths...

Argyle:We still don't know.

Argyle:He's just a weird robot guy.

Johnny:Weird guy.

Gamemaster:That's correct.

Anzu:We got a little bit of... Someone created him.

Benny:I mean, H. Who?

Argyle:Yeah.

Johnny:It's a weird robot guy.

Gamemaster:Yeah, he's a weird robot guy.

Gamemaster:He got created.

Gamemaster:That happened.

Gamemaster:Text around.

Anzu:And now he's one of the most powerful beings in the universe.

Argyle:That no one knows about.

Gamemaster:Wrecked.

Argyle:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Exactly.

Gamemaster:But you got some Benny backstory.

Argyle:Yeah.

Benny:Mm-hmm.

Johnny:We know what Benny is.

Benny:Wait until you guys find out in 10 sessions that Benny lied.

Gamemaster:You know what Benny is.

Argyle:We know each other's motives now.

Johnny:No, it'll do this.

Argyle:It only took, what, two years?

Gamemaster:Betty Light, he actually is a regular human nine-year-old.

Gamemaster:He's got rocks in his shorts, in his pockets, so he feels heavy.

Benny:You guys actually thought I was some weird robot guy?

Anzu:I have no idea.

Johnny:No.

Benny:Do you guys know what Ancestry Benny is?

Gamemaster:Yes.

Johnny:You're an automaton, right?

Argyle:Guessing.

Anzu:Oh, does it just...

Johnny:No, Android.

Benny:You could tell from... He is an android.

Gamemaster:I'm pretty sure.

Benny:You could tell from Foundry if you clicked on him.

Gamemaster:You could also tell because you guys have fought androids before, and those androids have the same general characteristics that Benny has used, I believe, once in the first session of the campaign and then never again in front of you guys.

Benny:Yeah, it just straight up says...

Argyle:Yeah, it's a little creepy, man.

Anzu:But now he can again because the cat's out of the bag.

Benny:It was required.

Gamemaster:But he did do it.

Gamemaster:Because it's not a secret.

Gamemaster:Yeah, Benny's a cat.

Anzu:The bird's out of the cage.

Johnny:There's a second Othello?

Gamemaster:Benny's a bird.

Johnny:Scary.

Gamemaster:Zeck and Othello.

Gamemaster:It's convenient that we do it that way so that I don't need to make a different bird token for you.

Benny:Hey, why did you do that to that fucking bird?

Anzu:I had to bring Othello back.

Benny:You aligned his brain synapses, aka you brainwashed slash rewrote the software of a bird to be Othello.

Benny:You're like, well, I have all of Othello's memories up here.

Benny:I'll just make a bird think it was their memories.

Anzu:And I made the bird stronger.

Anzu:That bird just gained like 45 hit points at least.

Gamemaster:Strong bird.

Benny:That's the craziest justification I've ever heard.

Johnny:It's a song that's heard.

Benny:You adopted a... That's crazy.

Benny:45 hit points is crazy for a fucking bird.

Argyle:That's a crazy amount.

Benny:First off, I don't know how the fuck that's even a thing for a familiar.

Gamemaster:Second, I will...

Benny:That's such an absurdly high number of hit points.

Anzu:If you give the bird the tough familiar ability, it gets a lot of hit points.

Benny:Bob... Bob had 30 hit points.

Argyle:That's fucking crazy.

Argyle:I like how that actually got Mike to be like, hold up, that's fucking crazy.

Benny:Bob had 30 hit points and Bob is an undead floating head.

Benny:I feel like it's okay for a random bird.

Benny:You just soup up to have, what did you say?

Benny:49 hit points.

Anzu:It has 49 HP, yeah.

Benny:Use them as a fucking sponge.

Gamemaster:Oh, so you gave him 42 additional points.

Benny:You go, you gave him toughness.

Benny:You gave him toughness.

Benny:What?

Benny:So that he wouldn't die or so that he could get in the way of shit.

Benny:Cause I feel like you gave him toughness.

Benny:So he wouldn't die again.

Benny:Not to get in the 49.

Benny:It's a lot.

Benny:That's like,

Benny:That's like two crits.

Argyle:level 5.

Benny:That's like two of the crits that we've had in earlier fights.

Benny:If Benny had the bird in front of him, we'd spend way less on healing spells.

Johnny:Where it's dead, it's going to die.

Benny:I don't know why you're hiding 49 hit points in a Raven.

Anzu:I needed to survive AoE.

Anzu:And it literally didn't last time.

Benny:The bird should be able to dump its hit points into Benny's HP bar.

Anzu:Well, the bird can heal me.

Gamemaster:The bird literally, the bird does have toughness.

Gamemaster:Like, it is actually a tough bird.

Benny:That's crazy.

Argyle:Oh.

Benny:It's such an absurd.

Gamemaster:Good for Othello.

Anzu:So while I will be here next Monday, the following Monday and Tuesday, the 18th and 19th, I am not available.

Johnny:let me know when you're in town tenor if you have time we should get one

Anzu:I last minute decided that I'm going to travel to Denver, Colorado for my cousin's high school graduation.

Gamemaster:It's exciting.

Anzu:Yes, I'll be in touch.

Anzu:But I'll be here next week.

Argyle:Adios.

Gamemaster:All right, then I will see you all next week, and then we'll figure out what to do the week after after that.

Gamemaster:See ya.

Anzu:Bye now.

Benny:Adios.