2025-7-21 — Akasha

Josh:Why are you yelling at me?

Josh:What is this?

Jorge:I saw you were online and I didn't want to be by myself.

Josh:That's what you get for joining five minutes early.

Jorge:Sorry.

Jorge:Of course, of course.

Josh:Everybody knows you're supposed to be five to thirty minutes fashionably late at all times.

Jorge:Normally it's just me and Craig.

Jorge:You know.

Josh:Damn.

Jorge:Guardia looks sick.

Jorge:I think I might play... I'm trying to spec one out.

Jorge:It's just they're not on... No, they're not on Appalachia.

Josh:Yeah, I mean, I don't know how I got mine ten days early.

Jorge:Was that the official one that got shipped to you?

Josh:So I'm not surprised that it'll take a little bit of time before it finds its way over into...

Jorge:Because it has your name on it.

Josh:Yeah, no, this is the official one.

Josh:I have the subscription where when they come out with a new one, they mail it to me.

Josh:And I got the email today.

Josh:I don't know why that happened.

Jorge:This happens, like, somewhat often with them, though, right?

Josh:I've seen stories of other people getting it early.

Josh:I mean, somebody else got a physical copy shipped to them a few days ago.

Josh:So I guess I'm not... I just don't understand why it happened in the first place.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:Because why bother setting a date?

Jorge:I guess...

Jorge:Yeah, I guess the moral of the story to them is it doesn't really matter.

Jorge:They're like, yeah, well... Yeah.

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:I mean, like, they charged me for it.

Josh:It's not like they sent it for free.

Josh:So it's okay.

Josh:I guess they figured they have it a few days early, they'll give it out for people who have already paid for it.

Josh:So... Yeah.

Jorge:Yeah, like... I guess they're just like, hey, it's not that big of a deal.

Jorge:They're probably like, ah, we messed up.

Jorge:Something got sent early.

Jorge:Oh, no.

Jorge:All right, guys.

Josh:So...

Jorge:Yeah, I'm looking through it.

Jorge:I like it.

Josh:Sorry, which one do you like, Guardian or Commander?

Jorge:Guardian.

Josh:Guardian.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:Guardian seemed really neat.

Josh:I like the idea of an actual tank that can taunt.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:Also, the Giant one looks good, but if it's too broken, feel free to not tell.

Josh:It's not actually too broken.

Jorge:Okay.

Josh:I play it up for the whole thing.

Josh:Feel free to do whatever you want.

Jorge:Okay.

Josh:I will say, have you seen the picture of the Jotunborn?

Josh:Because their proportions look funky.

Jorge:They look so weird.

Jorge:They have massive traps.

Josh:Yeah, they look goofy.

Josh:He's stumpy.

Josh:Yes, and then really short legs.

Jorge:Yeah, but also, we've talked about this.

Jorge:Their artists don't know how to do, like, shoes, remember?

Jorge:But yeah.

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:Are you streaming something?

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Josh:That's the picture I literally have up on my other monitor.

Jorge:Yeah, but this is a classic Pathfinder artist.

Jorge:They have no idea how to do shoes for some reason.

Josh:Yeah, they don't know what a foot looks like.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:They've never seen one in their life.

Josh:That guy's traps are the same width as his arm.

Jorge:Yeah, yeah.

Jorge:That's crazy.

Jorge:But yeah, I think this actually might be fun.

Jorge:And so, I think I was, I don't know if they would be an overseer, but I was thinking of, like, a group in the Scale that's specifically tasked with, like, guarding the heart and other members of the Scale.

Josh:That would be an overseer.

Jorge:Okay, yeah.

Josh:Actually, I don't know if it's necessarily overseer.

Jorge:Almost like Kingsguard style.

Jorge:That's what I was kind of thinking.

Josh:I think it might be cross-order.

Jorge:With the arbiters.

Josh:It'd be probably overseer-led, but it'd be... Because you'd want at least somebody...

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:It doesn't have much to do with time, so there wouldn't be any timekeeper stuff.

Josh:But there'd be arbiters for lore keeping and the like.

Josh:It'd be mostly overseers.

Jorge:There could be timekeepers once there's temporal assassins.

Josh:There probably would be.

Josh:So what I'm doing right now is I had this storyline that I had planned out for...

Josh:Like, something that might apply to... Sorry?

Jorge:Zolo?

Jorge:Dolores?

Josh:Yes, to Zolo.

Josh:And I'm trying to generalize it right now.

Josh:Which, it was already relatively general.

Jorge:If he could be a timekeeper put on this guard thing.

Josh:But... Yeah.

Jorge:It also works.

Jorge:I'm proud of that.

Jorge:Alright, we'll do that then.

Josh:I think that would probably work.

Josh:Yeah, that would be fine.

Jorge:Or the person to be guarded is Z. I don't want to give any specific points here.

Jorge:But it could be that the original task of guarding was that person.

Mike:I'm gone.

Josh:Oh, he left.

Jorge:Let's find another person.

Josh:You look very convincingly gone, Mike.

Noah:Oh, God, Mike's gone.

Jorge:Yeah, that's true.

Josh:Don't worry, Mike.

Josh:There's going to be a transcript.

Josh:Nothing in this chat is ever private anymore.

Josh:I'm so sorry.

Mike:Oh, do not check what I've previously said before you've joined.

Noah:Oh.

Josh:Why?

Noah:I'm going to check the transcript now.

Josh:Should I be concerned?

Noah:I'll go for it.

Mike:I wouldn't even look at it if I were you.

Mike:Curiosity killed the cat.

Josh:Like, the last time we joined?

Noah:Yeah, but satisfaction brought it back.

Josh:No, because I was here before you.

Mike:No, no, I'm joking.

Mike:I'm joking, Josh.

Josh:No, it's too late.

Josh:Now I'm looking through everyone to see, like... No, this is huge.

Mike:It's a quadruple bluff.

Mike:It's more Dracula flu.

Josh:It's not going to go on.

Josh:It could be.

Josh:It could be more Dracula flow.

Josh:It could be every time you sign on, you play a little bit of Dracula Flow, and then you sign off, so that when Jorge signs on, this is the first one he doesn't know.

Jorge:mike mike do you um are you looking at the commander

Josh:You got too in-paced, and then that's it.

Mike:Yeah.

Mike:I read like three words of it.

Mike:Well, I saw you sent something.

Mike:And I was like, oh, a Discord message.

Mike:And then I downloaded it.

Mike:And then I scrolled a bit to look at what the commander was.

Mike:And then I saw int base.

Mike:And I was like, interesting.

Mike:And then I went back to work.

Josh:You'll see some movement.

Noah:The commander and the guardian are both very cool.

Jorge:So is it a frontliner?

Noah:They did a good job with this.

Jorge:Yeah, I might... I'm between Guardian and Champion.

Noah:I do see the similar niche.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:The one thing I like about the Guardian is it has taunts, which is so great.

Josh:the first way to actually force... The Guardian can debuff people that don't attack the Guardian.

Noah:Got taunts.

Mike:The guardian has taunt.

Noah:Looks like it's me.

Josh:And also a ridiculous amount of reactions it can take.

Mike:Oh, wow.

Jorge:Yeah.

Mike:Okay.

Noah:They also get just flat resistance.

Mike:How much healing does the guardian have?

Noah:The Guardian is just like impossible to kill.

Noah:It gets flat physical resistance while wearing armor.

Noah:It's crazy.

Mike:It's got to react to stuff.

Josh:At level seven, just without taking a feat or anything, just as part of the class, it gets to take two feats a turn.

Josh:I mean, two reactions a turn.

Noah:It gets two new feats per turn.

Josh:Two feats.

Josh:Two new feats every turn.

Mike:Oh, so Jorge, who was loving having extra reactions as a thaumaturge and really wants to play something super tanky, they came out with the reaction tank specifically for Jorge.

Jorge:You gotta kill it quick.

Jorge:Yeah.

Noah:I mean it literally it's super hard to kill but if you don't attack it then there's debuffs it's really cool I think it's a cool class Robert what are you trying to do buddy

Josh:Yeah.

Jorge:I don't know if I could expect him to do... The thing with the champion is I can actually build a champion that has high DPS.

Jorge:I don't know if I can do that with The Guardian, but if I can just be a fucking pest to everyone else, I'm like, no.

Jorge:Over here.

Josh:Thank you.

Jorge:That would be fun.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:I think it could be fun.

Jorge:I hope... Yeah.

Mike:I don't think you have to worry about DPS either because we have like two blasters and then whatever the hell I'm going to play.

Noah:oh no i switched to i'm doing bard i'm doing uh support bard yes i switched to support bard build dps mike

Jorge:No, are you still going to build a blaster or are you going to build a... Also, I've been heavily... I've been talking with Josh even before this dropped.

Mike:Oh.

Mike:I feel less bad about building DPS then.

Tanner:There we go.

Tanner:It does look pretty cool.

Jorge:I was heavily considering the Guardian just because it sounded cool before it came out.

Jorge:But now that it looks cool, I'm like, hey, maybe.

Jorge:It's either that or a champ loop.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:I was reading it.

Tanner:It's pretty sick.

Jorge:It always felt annoying in earlier ones where you could build a tank and then the DM could just have the monsters walk around it.

Jorge:And again, I'm not attacking DMs because that's exactly what the monsters should do.

Noah:That's very cool.

Jorge:They should go, oh, this isn't working.

Josh:This is a personal attack on me, is what this is.

Jorge:No.

Jorge:No, it's like, a lot of games do this.

Jorge:They're like, here's a tank, like in Destiny.

Jorge:And then they had nothing to tank before.

Jorge:Once they start adding taunts, I think it makes it a lot more fun.

Tanner:I think even in Baldur's Gate 3, a lot of the enemies were programmed to attack the lowest AC.

Jorge:Yeah, yeah.

Noah:Mm-hmm.

Noah:Like you would.

Noah:You attack the weakling.

Tanner:Yeah.

Jorge:Yeah.

Mike:But we do.

Tanner:I'll remember when we destroyed the mage chick.

Noah:The... No.

Tanner:I don't even remember her name.

Josh:You guys are gonna have to fight a guardian or twelve and then see how that goes.

Tanner:Oh no.

Jorge:which made shickering happen a lot.

Josh:Wait until the enemies can taunt.

Tanner:Josh is going to give all of his NPCs the one reaction per enemy turn.

Noah:Oh, no.

Josh:Uh-huh.

Josh:Every enemy gets one reaction per enemy turn, has 15 foot reach, can cast that black tentacle spell.

Josh:Um...

Noah:It does seem a little crazy that Paizo was like, yeah, we're going to give this large feat or this large ancestry a level one.

Noah:It can just make anything reach.

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:I mean, it's handy to be able to hit things further away.

Josh:What?

Jorge:I think this is for the Giant one.

Noah:Mm-hmm.

Jorge:I think the reason they had to do that was because they didn't do it for the Minotaur.

Jorge:and then people just refuse to play it.

Jorge:Because it is a large creature, and the Minotaur is not large, but then it doesn't have reach.

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:Now, the miniature is large.

Jorge:Yeah, sorry, the Minotaur is large, but doesn't have reach.

Jorge:So everyone that plays Pathfinder is like, this would be a terrible class to play.

Josh:Right.

Noah:I think it's a level one class feed.

Jorge:Why would I occupy so much more squares if I can't reach?

Jorge:Which is fair.

Jorge:So then I feel like they're like, fine, nerds!

Josh:Do Jotunborn get it for free or do they need to take a feat?

Jorge:Let's make a big guy so we can reach.

Jorge:What?

Josh:Do Jotunborn get it for free or do they need to take a feat?

Josh:Because Minotaurs get it, but it's a feat.

Josh:Okay, so I think it's the same.

Josh:Like, Jotunborn and Minotaurs both can take a feat to make their weapons range.

Jorge:I did not realize... Did they add that later?

Mike:Make the weapons ready.

Josh:I don't think so.

Jorge:Because I remember looking to play one and everyone was like, fucking idiot.

Josh:I think it came out with Owl of the Wild.

Noah:Jorge is out here shitting on minotaurs, meanwhile.

Josh:At least it says in...

Mike:All the wild.

Noah:Minotaurs at the upper hand.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:Which beat is it that gives it to him?

Josh:I'm not sure.

Josh:I'm reading the large PCs rule block, and it says large PCs do not automatically gain additional reach, although some large ancestries, such as Minotaurs, have ancestry feats that grant them additional reach.

Josh:So which feat is that?

Noah:Let's see.

Noah:What?

Noah:I'm not seeing this.

Jorge:It's even level 1.

Jorge:Maybe it's a special accessory.

Jorge:I mean, you've got archives.

Jorge:It's so short.

Josh:Stretching reach.

Josh:Oh, it's an action.

Jorge:You get it.

Josh:You enter a stance, and then when you enter the stance, if you wield a melee weapon with two hands that doesn't have reach, the weapon gains reach of 10 feet.

Noah:Okay, so that's the same with the Jotunborn.

Jorge:And it's level 5.

Noah:I'm pretty sure the Jotunborn get it at level one.

Jorge:The miniature one's level five as well.

Josh:Hmm.

Noah:Pretty sure the Jotunborn got it at level one.

Noah:Because I guess they're just better.

Josh:Youngborn just have longer arms.

Josh:Youngborn are the bugbears of Pathfinder.

Noah:Let's see.

Noah:Oh, I was wrong.

Noah:It's a level 5.

Noah:Nope.

Jorge:Oh, yeah.

Noah:It's a level 5.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:Yeah, I will not be playing it anymore.

Noah:And where's this?

Noah:It's level 5.

Noah:My apologies.

Noah:I got two hypes.

Tanner:Your arms get longer once you hit level 5.

Jorge:Yeah, I don't know why they...

Tanner:The commander looks kind of fun, too.

Noah:That, yeah.

Josh:You have to enter a specific stance.

Josh:You just dislocate both shoulders and then you can reach slightly further.

Josh:Hmm.

Noah:That's terrifying.

Noah:That's actually one of the commander's tactics is dislocate arms.

Noah:Those look really cool.

Noah:I think they did a really good job with both the... Mm-hmm.

Josh:I like how if you don't want to be a commander, but you still want to wave a banner around and do stuff with it, that's like a thing you can do.

Josh:I don't know if you guys looked at the items, but there's a new kind of item called a banner that imparts stuff, which is fun.

Jorge:that's sick

Noah:Or, like, the captain archetype, because it's just... You just have people following you around.

Noah:You have, like, your own mini army.

Mike:It's funny.

Tanner:Yeah, the followers are interesting.

Tanner:I liked that it was like, yeah, you could roleplay the follower, the DM could roleplay the follower, maybe even one of the other players can roleplay the follower for you.

Tanner:I was like, this is craziness.

Josh:Yep.

Tanner:Just adding more characters to the party.

Mike:I get an opportunity to do more voices.

Mike:If one of you doesn't pick it, I will.

Josh:Well...

Mike:Hey, I'm a fucking follower.

Jorge:it'll be also so funny yeah

Noah:It is cool, but they fall off.

Tanner:Just the most one-dimensional personality.

Mike:No, I already thought of a story arc for this person.

Noah:Nope.

Tanner:Oh, no.

Mike:Their goal is to become first mate of the captain.

Mike:Hey, one of these days I'm going to be first mate.

Mike:And before we go into the final battle with the big bag, your first mate.

Mike:Hey!

Josh:Are they pirates?

Josh:Is that a pirate?

Mike:They're a captain.

Mike:On ships there are.

Josh:Is there a first mate in the army?

Mike:There are captains of ships too, Josh.

Jorge:Maybe it is.

Josh:It's not supposed to be naval.

Josh:It's not that kind of captain.

Mike:Oh, yeah.

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:I think it would also be funny to have a follower and roleplay someone who hates your main character.

Josh:Ooh.

Jorge:Or just hates the other ones.

Jorge:Have you guys seen Peacemaker?

Jorge:You just have, like, Vigilante as your backup, and he doesn't like any of the other party members because he's scared they're going to become the best friends of his captain.

Tanner:Oh, the follower is jealous.

Noah:There's also the Battlefield Propagandist, I think, which you can just say it's sort of like a thaumaturge, but sillier.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:Insecure as well.

Tanner:Yeah, yeah.

Josh:Field propagandist, yeah.

Noah:One of its feats is literally you make a deception check, and if you get high enough, then the enemy gets a weakness to bludgeoning, piercing, or slashing for a turn.

Tanner:Wow.

Tanner:I didn't spend the time to read it, but I did admire the picture that they had with it of the person holding up the drawing of a person with devil horns added on.

Noah:I had a very light Monday, so I didn't get a chance to go through this whole PDF.

Jorge:They read surprisingly quick.

Jorge:I read the Starfinder one, and it reads... I'm always surprised at how quick... I guess it's also because you're like, I don't need to look at every single one of these feats.

Jorge:I can see them and stuff like that.

Tanner:Right.

Jorge:Especially when you're a DM.

Noah:Yeah.

Noah:It's pretty cool.

Jorge:When I was doing Starfinder, I was straight up like, I don't need to know how these classes work that well.

Jorge:They figure it out.

Jorge:They build it.

Noah:I don't need this.

Noah:Whatever.

Josh:War Mage gets to turn all of their spell slots into Sure Strike.

Noah:I did see that.

Mike:Well, for a wizard, you have to... You've got, like... I think it's...

Josh:If you're a War Mage at the beginning of your turn, you can turn any of the spells that you currently have into Sure Strike.

Josh:I don't know why that's like... Because you could have already made all of your spells Sure Strike.

Josh:I guess it's like, I have all of these things and then I've entered battle, so I don't think I'm going to use them anymore, so they're all Sure Strike now.

Tanner:It's a bit of versatility.

Jorge:I feel like I really need to land.

Josh:Yeah.

Mike:One less than your highest level spell slot.

Mike:You have to take a feat for it.

Mike:But it's a split slot.

Mike:So you prepare two spells in that.

Mike:It just makes all of your spells split slot.

Mike:With true strike.

Josh:That could be useful, I guess.

Mike:I'm guessing commanders don't get the.

Mike:The weapon.

Mike:Legendary whatever.

Mike:That fighters get nearly as early.

Noah:I think only fighters go to legendary and weapons.

Noah:Unless you're a gunslinger.

Jorge:Yeah, well, Guardians were the second class to get Legendary Armor.

Noah:Gunslingers get legendary.

Jorge:I believe they got that.

Jorge:Because it was just Champions Report.

Jorge:I know they were talking about adding that.

Jorge:I don't know if they actually did.

Tanner:Yeah, it's in there.

Tanner:I think it's heavy and medium.

Jorge:Yeah, cool.

Noah:Mm-hmm.

Tanner:Not light armor, though, because light armor is for nerds.

Noah:You're the tank but you wear padded leather.

Jorge:They're like, if you're playing a Guardian, you should... Fuck you.

Jorge:Like, you want Legendary Lighthammer?

Tanner:You're going to put padded leather on?

Josh:Thank you.

Jorge:Fuck you.

Tanner:Really?

Noah:Weak.

Jorge:Yeah.

Noah:Weak.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:It would be funny, though, if none of us are DPS besides Tanner.

Jorge:And then all of us are like...

Noah:can you imagine if you had uh commander guardian and fighter it would just be nothing but reactive strikes just 50 it'd be like that one shot we did against the two shot against josh where half his enemies died on their own turn

Jorge:do anything and there's just this psychic in the back being like and it cuts to all of us we're like

Tanner:I'm making a psychic.

Mike:Everyone's just buff and debuff.

Mike:Buff, debuff, buff, debuff.

Josh:No enemies could ever move.

Josh:It would only ever have to be ranged attacks.

Tanner:or teleportation.

Josh:Or teleportation.

Noah:Oh, no.

Josh:Everybody has Misty Step from 5e.

Jorge:Imagine if our campaign had a similar dossier come out and sent to all their villains and their big takeaway is like, alright guys, we need a lot of long hallways and everyone get a gun.

Josh:So, can I get a refresh, I guess, on what class everybody thinks they're going to play for the next campaign?

Noah:We're like, God, why are all their hallways so long?

Noah:They all look like they've been extended.

Jorge:One, uh, okay, what?

Jorge:Go ahead.

Josh:Do we have that yet?

Noah:Bard.

Mike:I can give you the general.

Josh:Okay, Bard.

Tanner:Psychic.

Josh:Bard, Psychic, Guardian, I assume, Jorge.

Jorge:I'm not... Both are going to have reactions.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:They fill the same niche.

Jorge:Yeah.

Mike:Fighter slash commander.

Josh:Okay.

Mike:Slash magus.

Josh:Alright.

Mike:It's DPS that's vaguely hard to kill.

Jorge:I... Yeah.

Mike:Melee DPS.

Josh:I wasn't doing it for a party cup.

Josh:I was just... It's useful for me to know.

Josh:Yeah.

Jorge:I was also...

Jorge:I'm not going to do it, but I was thinking a monk would be fun just because you can be more detailed in your, how do you want to do this?

Jorge:I grab it by the jaw and I gouge their eyes.

Mike:Hi.

Tanner:All the unarmed strikes, yeah.

Jorge:Yeah, yeah.

Noah:How do you do this?

Josh:It didn't work every time though.

Tanner:Yeah, basically Henrik just kind of ran at the people with his shield, and that was kind of the go-to move.

Jorge:Yeah, there's...

Noah:I hit it with my shield 10 sessions later.

Jorge:I guess what we should think, Tanner, is we can put a shield or an axe on the ground and then stomp their face on.

Tanner:I never did that, yeah.

Mike:That just means the monks become way more violent and brutal.

Mike:Like, I rip his ear off, I scream into the air, and then I punch him through the head.

Josh:Thank you.

Noah:On him.

Tanner:Rupture his already detached eardrum.

Jorge:And Rick should have put a Lacey Susan in between his shield and where his arms go.

Jorge:So he could have spun it like a top.

Tanner:Ooh.

Tanner:There was... I think...

Jorge:And then he could have gas powered just like a chainsaw shield.

Tanner:Josh, at one point you sent me some book that had third-party shield stuff in it, and I never ended up using any of it, but the one thing that I did think was cool was there was one that sharpened the outside of the shield so that you could kind of slice and dice with it in that way.

Josh:yeah I'm just imagining what a nightmare it would be to have a shield that you can't touch the edges of because it's all one big blade around the edge of it

Tanner:There was no Lazy Susan, I don't recall, but...

Noah:That's very cool.

Jorge:Well, they have shield bosses, so I guess it's like a shark one?

Josh:A shield boss is just a bump on the front so that you can bludgeon somebody with the shield.

Josh:Already, it's got to be a pain to travel around with a shield that has spikes protruding off of the back of it.

Tanner:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Josh:But at the very least, you can still hold it by the side when you're transporting it.

Josh:You couldn't wear it on your back because you could never grab it off of your back to take it off anymore.

Tanner:Henrik made it work.

Josh:But sure.

Jorge:You also technically, in real life, you can't have a two-handed sword on your back either.

Jorge:It's just basically impossible to get off.

Jorge:Unless you have a very special scabbard, I guess.

Mike:Or if you have long arms.

Josh:You'd need, like, really long arms.

Tanner:Like a bugbear.

Mike:I think one of Jorge's characters can figure it out.

Josh:That's true.

Tanner:Well, shoot.

Tanner:Should we play Dungeons & Dragons?

Noah:Ooh.

Jorge:Oh.

Josh:I have to remember what my character can do.

Josh:But yeah.

Tanner:I believe Heal.

Tanner:And Guiding Bolt.

Josh:I think that's it.

Josh:Yeah.

Tanner:I am accepting a recap at this time, and there is a point of, in this game, inspiration.

Josh:Which got buffed in the 2024 version.

Tanner:Oh, no.

Tanner:I'm not familiar with that, but we're going to go with it anyway.

Mike:Wait, what does it in the 2024 version do?

Josh:I think they just changed the timing of it so you can use it after you've rolled.

Josh:If you find out that you failed, you can choose to use Inspiration to roll again instead of doing it beforehand.

Tanner:Oh, that's fine.

Jorge:Oh, Tanner, one quick thing before we start.

Jorge:I just bought the rest of my money.

Jorge:I had 800 gold, just spent it on the healing potions.

Tanner:Very well.

Jorge:I got five.

Noah:Hmm.

Josh:I'll do a recap if nobody else wants to.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:Oh, yeah.

Tanner:Go for it.

Tanner:Sure thing.

Josh:So, the four of us, being a rookie, an old man, and two totally identical twins, were...

Josh:hanging out, doing stuff in the not-city of Trilene.

Josh:Foraging, or just doing stuff that foragers do when they're not foraging.

Josh:An alarm sounded out, so we all rushed to investigate.

Josh:At the front of the gate were the lesser identical twins.

Josh:I forget what kind.

Josh:They had a name, and I don't remember what their name was.

Tanner:oh fennels they're fennels

Josh:Um...

Jorge:Thank you.

Josh:Right, the fennel twins, who were being chased by two wolves.

Josh:So we decided to save them.

Josh:We thought maybe they would help out, considering that they were foragers as well.

Josh:But once we saved them, they continued running.

Josh:We beat up one of the wolves.

Josh:There was a secret third wolf.

Josh:He showed up.

Josh:We beat up those wolves, too.

Josh:We made some sly remarks about how the two other foragers who were actually guarding the top had just, they sucked.

Josh:They were bad.

Tanner:They were just peacekeepers.

Tanner:They're not foragers.

Josh:They weren't particularly good at keeping the peace either.

Tanner:Yeah, it's not the same.

Josh:But we saved the day, as we were wont to do.

Josh:We patched up the fennel twins.

Josh:They told us that they were off getting some webs from some spiders, but on the way back, I think, they got attacked by some mysterious thing.

Josh:And so the head honcho, who I apologize, I cannot remember her name either,

Josh:I remember... Oh, shoot.

Tanner:She does have a name.

Jorge:It's in the echo zone.

Josh:She does.

Tanner:She's known as the Bastion, but she also has a name.

Josh:Right.

Tanner:Helga Bigclaw.

Josh:Bastion... Right, and you introduced her as Bastion Helga Bigclaw, and I thought her name was Bastion Helga Bigclaw for too long.

Mike:Yeah.

Tanner:That's my bad.

Mike:Like Rector Ashmont.

Josh:Yes, exactly like Rector Ashma.

Tanner:You've become that what you once hated.

Josh:She was like...

Josh:I still do.

Josh:She was like, hey, you know, you guys are the Nellie Forgers.

Josh:We really need those webs, so you go off and get it.

Josh:We were like, cool, do we have a cart to carry the stuff?

Josh:And she said, no, figure it out.

Josh:We got our swim trunks for the ocean that we might have to pass all the way over.

Jorge:Thank you.

Josh:We got some sunscreen for the sun in this...

Josh:Famously cloudy place.

Josh:And then we headed off on our trek.

Josh:We found a cart.

Josh:We found a dead guy.

Josh:We found some tracks.

Josh:We followed the tracks into a cave.

Josh:We found out that the reason they got attacked is because they're heat-seeking insects and the web is warm.

Josh:And so...

Josh:We said okay, and then we fought some insects, and then we found out that if you blow up fire in a cave, it lures a bunch of the other insects because they are heat-seeking.

Josh:And so we fought those two.

Josh:But we finally killed everything, and more things stopped showing up.

Jorge:We have such doofuses.

Noah:God.

Josh:And I think that's where we ended the session.

Tanner:Yeah, we cut it off pretty abruptly at the end of battle.

Jorge:It would suck being in one of the last cities in humanity, and some of the people you have to depend on to do foraging are these doofuses.

Mike:All I could think in my head when Josh said two wolves was inside of you there are two wolves.

Tanner:Listen...

Mike:They're chasing the fennel twins.

Mike:Ah, fuck, there's a third.

Josh:Sick.

Mike:You better go help them.

Tanner:That was really solid.

Tanner:Definitely take your point of 2024 inspiration.

Tanner:The one correction is they were foxes.

Josh:Oh, they were foxes.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:I apologize.

Tanner:They were foxes and they had nasty slime.

Josh:They were slime foxes.

Tanner:Nasty.

Tanner:Um...

Jorge:I knew you were going to say.

Jorge:And they had families and names.

Mike:immediately sets the tone for the session they had families they're crying now anyways the bug well you guys will find out this session threatening us yeah

Tanner:I think they call young foxes pups.

Tanner:The pups are absolutely screwed in this dangerous world without their parents.

Jorge:Well, their parents shouldn't have chased the inferior twins.

Tanner:Anyway, that's exactly it.

Tanner:You had literally just finished dispatching these kruthik, as they're called, these big bug

Tanner:creatures with claws and whatnot.

Tanner:You're in the midst of kind of like a tunnel of this cave.

Noah:That was so fast.

Tanner:There were those smaller holes that are not passable that a lot of the younger Kruthik were coming through.

Tanner:Yeah, that's good.

Tanner:That's exactly right.

Tanner:Yes.

Noah:So fast.

Noah:Entire session was derailed.

Josh:I'm sorry.

Tanner:Is there anything you would like to do before moving forward deeper into the cave?

Josh:How are we looking?

Josh:I'm a little injured.

Josh:I could use a teeny bit of healing, but I don't need to if everybody else is totally fine.

Josh:Also pretend I said that in an old man voice.

Josh:I forgot I'm an old man.

Noah:How am I looking?

Jorge:I'm fairly strong.

Mike:I took 18.

Jorge:You know, I'd say about 78%.

Jorge:Wow, I took 17.

Noah:I am gravely wounded.

Noah:I took eight hit points.

Josh:Ha ha!

Jorge:Holy shit!

Noah:I only have 38 points, now 30.

Noah:This is your first day?

Mike:Not bad for the first day.

Jorge:Oh my god!

Mike:I forgot this guy's voice, but not bad for the first day of the job.

Mike:My first day as a forager.

Noah:So they just found you and were like, yep, you're good.

Noah:We'll send you out into the world?

Mike:I've got quite a track record elsewhere.

Jorge:So, were you just, like, capable of being a forger this entire time, but you chose not to help everyone?

Jorge:That's kind of scummy.

Mike:I had higher profile jobs.

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:Toad.

Josh:Wait, is being a forager not a high-profile job?

Noah:Mr. Amata, I have a question.

Jorge:Uh...

Mike:It is now, old man.

Josh:I hate this whippersnapper.

Tanner:Nice.

Jorge:I respect it.

Jorge:Game respects game.

Noah:I have a question, Mr. Amata.

Noah:What was it like being around when Dust was invented?

Josh:I know that was supposed to be mean, but I really was there.

Josh:And it sucked.

Josh:Before dust existed, you didn't have to clean things.

Josh:They didn't just get dirty over time.

Josh:Now you have to.

Noah:What a world.

Josh:It's this constant treadmill of dusting things, and then more dust shows up.

Josh:If I could go back, I would.

Noah:We truly live in a fallen society.

Jorge:Thank you.

Noah:Anyway, if someone could heal me, I am missing eight hit points, which is a significant amount for me.

Josh:I can heal you.

Josh:I will heal all of us.

Mike:I will cast I will cast mast the cave you're in turns into the interior of a ship there is a large wooden beam vertical fuck

Josh:I will cast mass healing word.

Josh:That would be honestly quite helpful.

Noah:I pull up my sunscreen and my floaties.

Tanner:hear the sounds of the ocean.

Josh:That's why I bring mine.

Noah:I... I explode.

Mike:We planned for this.

Josh:Everyone receives 12 hit points!

Tanner:Wow.

Noah:I'm...

Noah:Over my maximum amount of health.

Tanner:That's sick.

Tanner:I love a life cleric.

Jorge:I'm almost full.

Jorge:Thank you.

Noah:All right.

Jorge:I just want the record to show I actually took more damage than I experienced.

Jorge:I'm just very strong and resilient.

Noah:It's true.

Noah:It's in the name.

Tanner:So, yeah, you heal up a bit, lick your wounds, whatnot.

Jorge:Shall we continue?

Noah:you

Tanner:You step over some of the mangled bug corpses, some with their jaws torn.

Tanner:Oh, yeah, go ahead.

Jorge:I don't know if they're venomous inside, but can I rip off one of the jaws and then make the top part?

Tanner:Yes, if you put it directly on your head now, it is still a little juicy.

Tanner:No, no, they don't have... They don't do that.

Jorge:Will that cause damage or just be gross?

Josh:What is it with 5e and the need to take tokens of the things that you've slain?

Mike:Ooh.

Noah:Lost.

Jorge:It's like... I'm a barbarian.

Josh:I thought we left them behind.

Tanner:We must wear... We must wear them.

Josh:I don't remember you doing that in any of the Pathfinder bits that we've done, but the second we go back to 5e, we kill one thing, and you're like, I need to wear this carcass on my body somehow.

Mike:Josh, it's just good role-playing.

Mike:These are foragers.

Noah:He's barbarian.

Josh:Rude but true.

Tanner:Anyway, you continue down the tunnel.

Tanner:Eventually, Amada, your eyes have been trained throughout your years aging.

Tanner:You've gotten very sharp.

Tanner:And...

Tanner:you pick up an incredibly faint bit of glow in the distance.

Tanner:It looks like there is some kind of light source in the darkness ahead of you a ways.

Josh:So we know that they like heat.

Noah:Bye.

Josh:Do we know if these things are intelligent enough to start their own fires?

Tanner:Someone had rolled a check on them before that was good enough to know that they're not... Yeah.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:Then I will just point it out.

Josh:There's like a Haloc light source up ahead.

Noah:Prepare for battle.

Mike:Armada, don't go towards the light.

Josh:I'm not that old.

Josh:I'm still walking around.

Josh:My voice is changing.

Mike:My bad.

Jorge:I'm going to use my third of fifth rages and keep my bonus action, keep it up.

Tanner:Very well.

Jorge:Once I think we're within five minutes walking there.

Jorge:It lasts for ten minutes.

Tanner:Yeah, yeah.

Tanner:As you progress, you do think that you're pretty close, and it does seem like it's a very small source of light, whatever it is.

Tanner:It's not a bright, illuminating an entire chamber kind of thing, but just enough to stand out amongst the darkness.

Tanner:eventually that light is ahead of you, but you come up on a small opening kind of to your right.

Tanner:Not small like the babies were coming out of, still passable by you guys, but there's like a little offshoot to the right, or there's a path forward towards the light.

Noah:Sorry, you said there's an offshoot to the right or a path forward towards the light?

Tanner:Correct.

Noah:Should we just go towards the light?

Noah:I'm worried about any of these dark areas being filled with Giant man-eating spider people things.

Josh:Why wouldn't the Giant man-eating bugs be near the light?

Josh:Don't they like that stuff?

Noah:Touché.

Jorge:Light isn't heat.

Jorge:Let's go to the light.

Mike:Do you think the bugs are having the same thoughts as us?

Mike:Where would the men go that we'd like to eat?

Mike:Would they go towards the light or would they stay in the shadows?

Noah:I am 100% certain no spider has ever had the mental capacity I do.

Mike:Then it should be easy to say two steps ahead.

Josh:They have eight legs.

Josh:It'd be harder than you think.

Josh:Actually, how many legs do these things have?

Josh:They're not actually spiders.

Tanner:They are not spiders.

Jorge:Spiders are a separate thing.

Jorge:They come back from the spider's area.

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:Are they insects?

Josh:Do they have six legs?

Tanner:According to this image I'm looking at, I think I'm seeing six legs.

Josh:Okay, that's still hard to stay two steps ahead of.

Josh:Because they have a four-step advantage on us.

Noah:Yeah.

Mike:I don't like those odds.

Mike:But I've never liked the odds.

Mike:Wait, what do you mean bug?

Tanner:Oh, is this your bug helmet that I'm looking at?

Tanner:Look at this picture he just... I actually think it's better.

Mike:Oh, okay.

Jorge:It was, yeah, it was that.

Mike:Oh, okay, okay.

Josh:Why is he blue?

Jorge:All right, guys.

Mike:For a second.

Josh:Are you blue?

Jorge:I didn't have that much time to generate, okay?

Mike:A blugbear.

Jorge:You want to see the first edition?

Josh:Is it worse?

Jorge:It's so much worse.

Noah:I think that one's canon now.

Mike:On site, on site.

Josh:Yeah, I think it's better too.

Jorge:Really?

Josh:Yeah.

Mike:Well, yeah, because then we wouldn't be able to hear your fucking character babble.

Mike:Swinging the fucking eggs.

Jorge:That was just not... Yeah, but that was just not a Goliath.

Noah:Oh, this one's cool.

Jorge:But anyway.

Tanner:That helmet is probably the closest.

Jorge:Yeah, probably.

Tanner:Anyway, so it sounds like we're going towards the light.

Mike:Yeah.

Jorge:Yeah.

Noah:Yeah.

Noah:Let's go towards the light.

Tanner:Are we putting any strategy into our approach of a stealth variety, or are we charging?

Jorge:I'll go first.

Noah:If you guys give me... If you give me 10 minutes, I can summon a familiar.

Noah:And we can have it... Go ahead.

Josh:Just in the dark cave?

Jorge:My rage will be up, but I still have more.

Noah:If you want to... What did you say?

Jorge:My rage will go up, but I can rage again.

Noah:Maybe you guys are okay sitting here for 10 minutes as I summon this familiar.

Mike:Oh!

Noah:Yep.

Josh:Where we just got attacked by insects?

Noah:Yep.

Josh:Oh yeah, sure.

Jorge:Maybe we should keep going.

Noah:All right.

Noah:Okay.

Jorge:Old men would be wise and fast as you.

Josh:No, I'm down to hang out for 10 minutes from Tassam and it's familiar.

Mike:What do we need a familiar for?

Noah:The scout.

Mike:A cat will appear on... Find familiar is such a great first level spell that you can just...

Josh:I don't know why he was hiding that for the first few hours of the travel.

Mike:happen your way into, a cat will appear.

Jorge:you

Noah:Quinzenzius looks at Amada.

Mike:A black cat, Regal, will appear on the shoulder of Glint Cubix.

Mike:If we need a scout, I got one.

Noah:What the fuck am I here for?

Noah:This guy can do magic?

Noah:What am I here for?

Noah:Listen, buddy.

Noah:What's your schtick?

Noah:Are you a wizard?

Mike:Well,

Mike:To be honest, we were being tailed, and as he says that, the cat flicks its tail the whole time by him.

Noah:Oh, and he does puns too!

Mike:He keeps Anaïs on me.

Noah:It's a little dark in here.

Mike:Only when he feels like it.

Mike:I'm not a wizard.

Mike:Unless you mean being a wizard at special operations, infill, exfill, intelligence gathering, and strategic removal of opponent's assets, then.

Mike:Yeah, I'm a wizard.

Noah:It's a little dark in here, but it feels like your eyes are like half closed as you're saying all this.

Noah:You're kind of squinting for some reason.

Noah:I'm not sure who you're squinting at.

Noah:I use presentation.

Mike:Yeah, I don't have any ability to see and not light.

Josh:it was just

Mike:So I'm kind of looking through the cat right now.

Tanner:I think there was a torch.

Jorge:It's a recent event.

Mike:There was a twitch.

Mike:There's just a lot of dust.

Mike:There's just a lot of dust that was kicked up during the last.

Tanner:As we know, there is a lot of dust in this world.

Noah:Ironically speaking, it's an endless treadmill.

Tanner:It's dusty.

Mike:Yeah, Amado, why did you invent dust?

Josh:didn't do it, and I curse whoever did every day.

Josh:I thought it was Regal.

Noah:Let's send your cat towards the light, Mr. Wizard of Special Ops.

Mike:Trixie, go.

Mike:And then the cat.

Mike:No, Regal describes the cat.

Josh:I thought your name was Rubix.

Mike:They do call me an enigma.

Jorge:As this is going on, Strong is very confused.

Tanner:Oh my God.

Jorge:He's like, I thought it was... He's just looking.

Jorge:Not catching on here.

Josh:His name actually isn't Regal, right?

Mike:No.

Josh:It's Glint Cubix.

Jorge:Okay.

Mike:No, no, no.

Mike:The guy is Glint Cubix.

Mike:The cat is Trixie.

Josh:Who's Regal?

Mike:The cat was described as being Regal.

Noah:He's regal in appearance.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:That makes sense.

Josh:I get it now.

Josh:I understand.

Mike:Josh wrote it down, and then I'm like, Trixie, go.

Mike:He's like, yes, two cats.

Mike:I'm looking at my notes, and I'm seeing Regal was the cat's name.

Josh:I thought his name was Regal.

Noah:Way to get two cats.

Noah:Well, one's a magic familiar and the other is just a cat he's sending on ahead.

Josh:That he's been carrying around?

Noah:Yeah.

Josh:Yeah, I get it.

Tanner:Just a pet companion.

Noah:Fully mundane cat he's sending to scout.

Josh:It's allowed.

Mike:Go to the fucking Giant scary bugs, you normal cat.

Noah:Oh, my normal cat.

Jorge:This is better than the coyotes I've had you scout before.

Tanner:All right.

Tanner:So the cat known as Trixie Regal Cubix

Tanner:moves on forward.

Tanner:I guess you could observe through this cat's eyeballs.

Tanner:Is that correct?

Tanner:So the cat goes forward.

Tanner:not incredibly far, you know, like a hundred or so feet.

Tanner:Um, and, uh, the chamber, uh, uh, opens up and there is a soft glow, uh, coming from, uh, one corner of this, uh, roughly circular chamber.

Tanner:Um, uh, I guess I can make the cat make a perception check.

Tanner:So let's do that.

Tanner:Let's see what happens.

Mike:Let me get out my cat block.

Noah:That's that.

Noah:Good luck.

Mike:Get it instead of stat block.

Josh:Bad.

Josh:Dislike that immensely.

Mike:Spells aren't familiar.

Mike:Cats have a plus 3.

Tanner:Hell yeah.

Noah:Period.

Tanner:Honestly, pretty good compared to most members of this party.

Mike:I wonder how this is versus a commoner.

Jorge:15% water.

Mike:Seven.

Tanner:Alright.

Tanner:Not ideal.

Tanner:but the cat looks around the room and it sees the light is coming from what looks to be some kind of small wooden box or something like that.

Tanner:And the box is being picked at and kind of batted around by one of these Kruthik.

Noah:Hmm.

Tanner:That looks a decent bit bigger than any of the ones that you have seen previously.

Tanner:Yeah.

Mike:What's being battered around?

Mike:The cart.

Tanner:Some kind of wooden box or something like that.

Tanner:The cat rolled like crap, so it doesn't get more details on the nature of the box.

Jorge:Well, that might be worth it.

Jorge:Yeah, let's go.

Josh:I mean, that's probably the thing that the people that we were, the dark web, is that void web?

Tanner:I never really said what it's exactly called, but it's Ruin Spider Silk.

Noah:What do you think?

Josh:Hmm.

Jorge:Let's go.

Noah:Do we just go in there and start blasting?

Noah:But not with fire!

Noah:Oh.

Mike:I recall Trixie.

Mike:I think we should.

Noah:Tanner, important question.

Noah:The boxes... Two things.

Tanner:Yes.

Noah:One, the ruined spider silk.

Noah:Is it fragile?

Noah:Like, if it gets burned or hit with lightning, is it just gonna...

Tanner:You guys would be familiar with the Silk.

Tanner:It is... It is fragile physically.

Tanner:However, it does actually have...

Tanner:some more resistance against like the energy type damages just because it is woven with, it has like traces of weave in it.

Tanner:It has a little bit of resilience in that way, but it is to actually like physically handle, it is fragile.

Noah:Okay.

Tanner:So yes and no to your question.

Noah:And then... Okay.

Noah:No, that is helpful.

Noah:And then the actual box it's in, is that just like a wooden crate?

Noah:Or is that like a specially hermetically sealed, lead-lined, rune-carved...

Tanner:It is not really enchanted in any way.

Tanner:It is well-made and typically pretty well sealed, but not magically enhanced.

Jorge:I just look at your backpack.

Noah:And then last question for the party.

Noah:Does anyone have a bag of holding?

Noah:Does anyone bring one of those?

Noah:Bag to hold things?

Noah:Bag of holding?

Noah:This is just my backpack.

Jorge:I don't really have to bring anything.

Noah:I've been saving up for a bag of holding, but every time I get enough money, I have to spend it on high-quality paper and ink.

Noah:So I'm generally broke.

Tanner:The life of a wizard is tough.

Jorge:Alright, well, let's stealthily approach.

Noah:We stealth in.

Jorge:So how long did it take for the cat to get in there?

Tanner:It wasn't very far, so I would say that you've still got the waning minutes of your rage.

Jorge:Great, so I will...

Jorge:Use my primal knowledge.

Jorge:While raging, I can make an acrobatics, intimidation, perception, survival, or stealth check using my strength modifier instead.

Josh:I was just wondering how he would do that, but I buy it.

Tanner:Ooh.

Mike:Good.

Tanner:You have such fine control over your muscles that you could make them be quiet.

Noah:I'm confident in myself and don't have a spell for this.

Josh:That tracks.

Josh:I'm an old man in a very clunky set of armor, so I'm going to spend one of my lucky points to negate my disadvantage.

Tanner:Hmm.

Tanner:Sure.

Tanner:That sounds fun.

Josh:I shouldn't have wasted the lucky.

Josh:Who calls you that?

Mike:They don't call me Cheeks for nothing.

Mike:Fudge Bob, mostly.

Tanner:Alright, well, that... It was looking... It was looking okay.

Noah:This character has leveled well once.

Tanner:And then it was not.

Tanner:So... Let me... Can I again be reminded of the order that you guys were going in?

Noah:I trip over my robe.

Josh:I think so.

Tanner:I believe it was Strong, and then Amada, and then Wise, and then Glint, is that right?

Noah:Mhm.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:So you don't make it very far.

Tanner:You get basically just to the very opening of this chamber.

Tanner:And Strong, you're doing decently well up front.

Tanner:You're thinking really hard about your muscles and how to move them to not make a lot of noise.

Tanner:But then your brother, not too far behind you, drops his sunscreen out of his bag and goes to scramble for it.

Tanner:And there's a whole array of noises and jumbles of component pouches.

Noah:Clank, clank, clank, clank, clank.

Noah:Oh, my bowling ball.

Tanner:You hear some scraping and scratching and some guttural sounds as you get your glimpse into the chamber ahead of you as a number of these insect creatures start to run in your direction, including one of which that is...

Tanner:a bit larger than the rest.

Tanner:So we're going to roll initiative, and I'm going to send a shmepi link.

Noah:Yeah, Schmitty.

Tanner:And I can do that by going here and going here.

Noah:Okay, okay.

Tanner:And I need my notebook.

Mike:Plus, do you have proficiency in... Yeah.

Noah:Uh, me?

Noah:No, as a time wizard, I can add my intelligence to initiative.

Mike:Uh...

Josh:Of course, the Time Wizard.

Noah:The power of time magic.

Noah:Chronomancy.

Noah:The most powerful magic of all.

Josh:Oh, the most powerful of all the magics!

Noah:People think it's friendship, but it's really, it's chronomancy.

Tanner:I also need to

Tanner:Oh, do not stall on me like this.

Josh:Have you seen D&D on a Bus?

Tanner:Ah, I did see D&D on a bus.

Noah:You mean the best episode of Dimension 20?

Tanner:Crazy.

Noah:I didn't, so I watched that before I watched Game Changer.

Josh:Which was the point.

Noah:Yeah, so I was like, what is happening?

Noah:I was very hyped for it, but...

Josh:If you saw that before, did you see Brennan retiring as well before you saw the Game Changer episode?

Tanner:Yes, that was genius.

Noah:That was when I knew that it was all farce.

Noah:I was like, oh, there's something up here.

Tanner:I really enjoyed that.

Jorge:Wait, you don't think Brandon's actually retired?

Josh:He's... Brendan Lee Mulligan is retiring to make shoes for American girl dolls.

Jorge:Have you seen his, like, the improv show?

Jorge:That's actually really funny.

Noah:Yes.

Noah:They're very talented outside of D&D.

Noah:I mean, I guess they're talented improvers, whether D&D is good.

Noah:Very impressive.

Jorge:One of my favorite ones was role-playing mafiosos who run a laundromat for cleaning money, but then they get actually really invested in making the laundromat profitable.

Tanner:Um,

Noah:We gotta buy the new machines, boss.

Josh:Dropout is, I think, the only streaming service that I'm happy spending the five bucks a month or whatever for.

Josh:I'm more than willing to do it.

Jorge:Oh, is that where it's on?

Noah:Yeah.

Josh:Yeah.

Jorge:Oh, okay.

Jorge:I've only seen it on Instagram.

Josh:So one of the things that Dropout does, Game Changer, is a different...

Josh:show every episode, and their most recent one is making a bunch of videos that they post to their social media, and whoever gets the most views on those videos wins, which I think is them being very self-aware of taking advantage of the fact that I think inevitably clips from every single one of their episodes makes their way onto YouTube Shorts and Instagram and TikTok and all that stuff.

Noah:Yeah, it was very clever.

Tanner:So one note about this map that we're looking at, which I assume everyone was able to get to.

Jorge:Yes.

Josh:I didn't know you could put images in Schmepi like this.

Tanner:there's this chamber kind of below you.

Tanner:That is not here.

Tanner:That is like the chamber that was a bit off to the right a little earlier.

Tanner:It's just the map is the map, and I'm using it.

Tanner:But technically, that is like 100 or so feet back.

Tanner:And there's a little bit of a... Oh, yeah.

Josh:This is neat.

Noah:The game has changed.

Tanner:And actually, what was fun is I found another map that already had a grid on it.

Tanner:And I was like, oh, I hope this doesn't look really ugly with the grid in Shmeppy.

Josh:Oh!

Tanner:But then I assumed Shmeppy must have recognized the grid and lined the grid up with its grid.

Noah:Wow.

Tanner:Unless I got really lucky with my placement.

Josh:You did it.

Tanner:But anyway, so I thought that was fun, too.

Jorge:Thank you very much.

Noah:Great.

Tanner:So...

Tanner:This is what we got.

Tanner:And I wonder if maybe I should note, I'll use blue.

Tanner:So these four Kruthik are all staring you down, kind of charging your direction.

Tanner:The bit of glow is coming from over here.

Tanner:That's the...

Tanner:Maybe it would be better if it was brown like wood, right?

Josh:Thank you.

Tanner:So we'll do that.

Noah:Well, my immersion is complete.

Tanner:Yep.

Tanner:Or even more fun.

Tanner:Oh, no, that doesn't work.

Tanner:Never mind.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:So, despite rolling very poorly on your stealth checks, you rolled incredibly well on your initiative.

Tanner:So, you all are going before any of these creatures.

Tanner:And that starts with Amada.

Josh:Nice.

Josh:It's going to be blessed.

Josh:It's always going to be blessed.

Tanner:Yeah.

Jorge:We have to stay next.

Josh:Everybody's blessed.

Jorge:How does this work?

Josh:You have to be within 30 feet of me, so I'm going to find the midpoint to try and run forward.

Josh:So that while you're within 30 feet of me, I'll put myself in... What's my movement?

Josh:Is it 30 feet?

Josh:I think it's 30 feet.

Josh:I'm going to stand there just in the way and then hope that you guys run up past me to take the aggro.

Josh:And that'll end my show.

Tanner:Nice.

Tanner:That brings us to the whys.

Noah:Yes, I will, uh, I'll just, oh god, that's the wrong one.

Noah:I will step up next to my brother, of course, and I will say, bippity boppity, go fuck him up.

Noah:And I will slap him on the ass real hard and cast haste.

Noah:That is my last third level spell.

Tanner:Nice.

Tanner:Now, I believe Strong and Glint tied on their initiative.

Tanner:I think Strong gets the tiebreaker, but I would allow you guys to switch it if you wanted.

Jorge:I could go, but if you'd like to go first, it's okay.

Mike:I could go.

Jorge:I think I technically have something that allows me to specifically let, like, to drop my initiative order, so feel free to go.

Mike:I'm okay.

Mike:Okay.

Jorge:Unless you want me to.

Jorge:I'm just going to stay in the fucking middle.

Mike:No, no, no.

Mike:I'll go.

Mike:This is 30.4 of movement.

Mike:Sure.

Mike:Let's see.

Josh:you

Mike:I guess there's no better time to start dumping spell slots.

Mike:So I will... So during the break, I did the warlock, the new warlock thing where you spend a minute and get half your spell slots back.

Mike:So that was one.

Mike:And then I used the rod of the rod rod.

Mike:One action once per day to get one spell slot back.

Mike:One warlock spell slot back.

Tanner:Yeah.

Mike:So I have both now.

Mike:I'm going to use...

Mike:My bonus action to cast Hex on... We'll go on Kruthik I. And then we're going to Eldritch Blast him.

Mike:Let me record this spell.

Noah:Bridge player.

Mike:So that's...

Mike:17 for the first one, 20 for the second.

Tanner:The 17 misses.

Tanner:But the 20 hits.

Mike:And this is 1D10 plus.

Mike:Is that accurate?

Mike:Let me just scroll back to double check.

Noah:you

Mike:that's what i was hitting before yeah okay it is 1d 10 plus 5. okay so it's nine um force damage i don't believe that's my turn

Tanner:points.

Tanner:Nice.

Tanner:Very well.

Tanner:Then we'll turn it over to the strong.

Jorge:Cool.

Jorge:Did you give me pace?

Jorge:Is that what you did?

Jorge:Or, sorry.

Noah:Yes, you were hasted.

Jorge:Cool.

Jorge:Does that increase my movement speed, or does it just give me the extra... It's actually fine.

Noah:In this edition of the game, let me see what the 2024 haste does.

Josh:Your speed is doubled, plus 2, the armor class advantage on deck saving throws and an additional action on each of your turns to attack, dash, disengage, hide, or utilize.

Jorge:Oh, my armor glass increased?

Josh:Your armor class increases by 2.

Noah:Yeah, plus two.

Jorge:Cool, cool.

Jorge:Um, so I have 45 movement speed, now 90, so I'm gonna go right here.

Tanner:Nice.

Jorge:And I'm going to recklessly attack this fucker.

Tanner:Nice.

Jorge:Um... Actually... I am going to... Uh... Yeah.

Noah:you you

Josh:Haste does only give you one additional attack, by the way.

Josh:It's not like the full attack action.

Jorge:um yes okay um i don't know if you're able to do it oh yeah can you increase my token size because as strong runs up and goes i'm going to fucking kill you he grows larger

Jorge:And now his mole seems a little bit better sized for him.

Jorge:And then he just starts fucking wailing on.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:Do you guys see the italicized text, or is that just for me?

Josh:No, that's just you.

Noah:I think that's just you.

Tanner:Fascinating.

Mike:yeah oh right i had hex damage on perfect one i think hacks at third level oh it's just higher concentration oh i guess i didn't have to

Josh:Nobody tell Tanner we can see it.

Tanner:All right.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:I'm just marking who's, like, hexed and hasted and whatnot.

Tanner:But... Oh, yeah, you could roll that for sure.

Josh:Yeah, no, we can't see it.

Jorge:Hi.

Jorge:Does.

Tanner:I don't...

Mike:I didn't have to cast this again, so I'll give myself my spell slot back, but it is just 1d6.

Tanner:What do you mean, cast it again?

Mike:Because I said that I cast it as my bonus action, I just had to move it as the bonus action, so I keep the third level spell slot.

Noah:Yeah.

Tanner:Oh, because you have a lot of concentration time, right?

Mike:Yeah, third level, up to eight hours.

Tanner:That's kind of sick.

Tanner:Okay, it was one point.

Tanner:Nice.

Tanner:Okay.

Josh:Also, I realized that you rolled... Did you add a d4 when you rolled?

Jorge:I did not.

Mike:Oh I didn't.

Jorge:Thank you.

Josh:I mean, you already hit, so it doesn't matter, right?

Mike:Well I hit on the second one.

Tanner:Well, one of them missed.

Jorge:But I also... I had a... I have 18 for my head.

Josh:Oh, one of them missed.

Josh:Just in general, you're blessed.

Josh:And you're blessed.

Noah:This is hashtag blessed.

Tanner:18 misses the big guy.

Jorge:18 on the bigger.

Tanner:He's got very hard chitin.

Noah:Oh.

Jorge:Oh!

Jorge:I will take another.

Tanner:Your maul just kind of glances off.

Jorge:Holy shit.

Jorge:All right.

Jorge:The last one.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:Now, do we want to retcon for Michael?

Tanner:His bless.

Noah:michael hello

Tanner:I'll say yes.

Tanner:You could roll a d4 to add to your 17 to hit.

Mike:20. oh wait this also gets the d6 i think 16. but how does it how does it know how many i'm rolling with

Tanner:20 hits!

Tanner:I believe it does apply separately to the different Eldritch Blasts.

Tanner:Nice.

Tanner:It just feels better to do it, Josh.

Josh:Also, another note, you guys can't get the 1 in front of 1d6.

Josh:It knows.

Josh:If you don't tell it anything, it defaults to 1.

Tanner:I think that's what it is.

Josh:OK.

Tanner:Okay, Strong, I'm so sorry about your attack rolls, but I'm going to take some turns now.

Mike:Okay.

Jorge:Wait, one of them I assume hits because it's 27.

Tanner:Oh!

Jorge:I have three because I have two hits and then I have the haste of action.

Tanner:Ah, I forgot about that.

Tanner:Yeah, what was the last one?

Jorge:27.

Tanner:Oh, yeah.

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:So I do 19 points of damage.

Jorge:Some of that's radiant if you want me to split that up.

Jorge:Bludgeoning and radiant.

Tanner:Ooh, I don't think it matters.

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:Cool.

Tanner:It does not matter.

Tanner:There's no resistances that you've detected.

Jorge:You have to make a constitution saving throw.

Tanner:Okay, it was 19 damage, right?

Jorge:16.

Jorge:Yes.

Tanner:I'm going to make a constitution saving throw.

Tanner:I rolled a 13.

Jorge:He fails.

Jorge:He's wrong.

Tanner:Wow.

Noah:Hmm.

Jorge:I just run up.

Jorge:As he's running, you see him growing, kind of like that scene from Ant-Man.

Jorge:And then he just misses two of them as part of his plan to throw them off and then batters him at the top to knock him down.

Tanner:Nice.

Tanner:Does that end your turn?

Jorge:That does end up.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:The Kruthik Lord is going to go.

Tanner:it is going to open up its bug mouth and do an acid spray all up in yo grill.

Noah:Oh no.

Mike:Ugh.

Jorge:Do I have advantage on because of that?

Noah:Oh no.

Tanner:It's a 15-foot cone, so I actually don't think it's going to hit anybody else.

Tanner:So that'll be a dexterity saving throw.

Tanner:as a barbarian with your danger sense, right?

Tanner:Oh.

Jorge:Oh, I also thought just because of the... Yes, yes, yes.

Noah:Also go to paste.

Josh:And you get a d4 because you're blessed.

Jorge:Does he give me any modifiers or disadvantage?

Noah:Just advantage.

Jorge:Okay.

Tanner:It's a pretty good modifier.

Mike:Very true.

Jorge:Sorry, I rolled into the wrong one.

Tanner:25.

Tanner:Yeah, that's going to succeed.

Tanner:There's no critical success in this, but there was.

Tanner:So you're going to take half damage, which will be 13 points of acid damage as it spits in your face.

Tanner:Then the rest of the crew thick are going to go.

Tanner:The one... I'm going to go in reverse order, because why not?

Tanner:Number three is going to run up to here.

Tanner:And it is going to attack you.

Tanner:It is going to make two stab attacks.

Tanner:The first one is a 17 to hit, Mr. the Strong.

Jorge:That is... Yes.

Tanner:Does that hit with your hasted armor boost?

Tanner:Alright.

Jorge:That is just the AC.

Tanner:It's going to do 6 points of piercing damage.

Jorge:Three!

Jorge:It's... I feel three!

Tanner:And then it will try again.

Tanner:Yeah, that's a 23 to hit.

Tanner:Another 6 points of piercing damage.

Noah:Oh, no.

Tanner:You feel 3, indeed.

Tanner:Kruthik number 2 is going to run up to Amada.

Josh:dodge oh oh i'll take it

Tanner:What I'm going to do is I'm going to roll to see if Kruthik 1 goes for Strong or Amada.

Tanner:And this is important to determine now because pack tactics may come into play.

Tanner:Amada, you are even on this d4, okay?

Noah:Not protected.

Tanner:Yeah.

Mike:What's the motto?

Tanner:So, Kruthik1 is also going to come for you, Amada, unfortunately.

Tanner:So, that's going to be four total attacks at advantage.

Tanner:A bunch of stabs.

Tanner:The first one is a 17.

Tanner:Nice.

Josh:Missiles.

Noah:you

Tanner:The second one is a 23.

Josh:Well, that one hits.

Tanner:That'll be another 6 points of piercing damage.

Tanner:And there's some concentration involved.

Josh:Yes, I have to make a con check.

Jorge:As you roll, the two attacks against my guy with advantage.

Tanner:Yes.

Tanner:I did.

Jorge:Okay, cool.

Josh:Sorry, how many hit points did I lose?

Jorge:Do you have a Warcaster?

Tanner:6.

Josh:Six.

Tanner:So the DC is 10.

Josh:I can do that.

Josh:What is my con save?

Josh:That's my con save.

Josh:No.

Josh:I got 11.

Noah:Woo!

Tanner:That's a success.

Tanner:So that was 2 of the 4 attacks.

Tanner:The third one is an artificial 20.

Josh:Ah, that hits.

Tanner:So that's going to be just a little four points of piercing damage.

Josh:Okay.

Tanner:But it does require another concentration.

Josh:It does.

Josh:Okay, I did that.

Tanner:In a failing kind of sense.

Josh:I'm going to use my inspiration for this.

Tanner:Oh!

Noah:Hold up.

Jorge:Very good.

Josh:It didn't help.

Tanner:Oh, that's so sad.

Josh:I lose concentration.

Tanner:That is so sad.

Josh:It's not helped me so far.

Tanner:Well, the last one is a 24 to hit.

Josh:Also, it's... Okay.

Tanner:And, ooh, that one's seven points of piercing damage.

Tanner:But that is all for the Kruthik.

Tanner:That brings us back up to actually you, Amada.

Tanner:It's your turn again.

Tanner:How exciting.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:I'm here.

Josh:I'm in the fray.

Josh:I may as well do it.

Josh:I will cast Spirit Guardians.

Tanner:Ooh.

Josh:Since I'm not maintaining concentration on anything else.

Tanner:Yeah, yeah.

Josh:Um, so, uh, in a 15-foot emanation around me, uh, a bunch of, um, angelic creatures appear up and form a ring and just start stabbing with little pitchforks the, the Kruthik that are around me.

Tanner:Lovely.

Josh:Um, so they have to make a wisdom saving throw.

Tanner:That does happen now?

Josh:They changed it in the revision.

Tanner:So it's got hella triggers.

Josh:So regardless of whether or not they fail on the saving throw, their speed is halved inside of the 15-foot emanation around me.

Josh:And whenever the emanation enters a creature's space, or a creature enters the emanation, or a creature ends its turn in the emanation, it has to make the wisdom save or take radiant damage.

Josh:Yes.

Tanner:Alright.

Josh:It actually has the prismatic wall problem, in that one could forcibly move somebody through the spirit guardian space multiple times and force them to make multiple saves.

Tanner:Ooh.

Jorge:Or you could move with the spirit.

Tanner:Okay.

Josh:Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

Jorge:Yeah.

Noah:Whee!

Noah:Oh.

Tanner:Disgusting.

Josh:Actually, no, sorry.

Josh:A creature makes the save only once per turn.

Josh:So on my turn, I can only make them do it once.

Josh:But somebody else could walk them through, and that's their turn, not my turn.

Tanner:So there is some limit to the madness.

Tanner:I'm going to make two.

Josh:There it is.

Tanner:They're wisdom saves, right?

Josh:Yes, please.

Tanner:Kruthik1 gets a 17.

Josh:That is probably a success, that is.

Tanner:But Kruthik2 gets a 9.

Josh:That's a failure.

Josh:I mean, it's not a lot of damage.

Josh:Seven points on a failure, half that on a success.

Tanner:Kruthik1 is going to take 3 points.

Tanner:Kruthik2 is going to take 7.

Tanner:Kruthik 1 is bloodied.

Tanner:It was 7.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:Very good.

Tanner:Will that be all?

Josh:Yeah.

Tanner:That brings us to the whys.

Noah:Yes.

Noah:There's a lot of people on the battlefield.

Noah:We should deal with that.

Tanner:Hmm.

Noah:I will jog on up.

Noah:Maybe.

Noah:I'll jog on up to behind Glint and I'll go, hey, how's your first day going?

Noah:And then I will look at the big Kruthik and I will say, by the power of time magic, be gone.

Noah:And I will use my momentary stasis.

Tanner:Whoa.

Noah:Just to make a constitution saving throw against my spell save DC or be incapacitated until the end of my turn or until he takes damage.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:The big guy.

Noah:Con save DC 17, yeah.

Tanner:Oh, I'm so sorry.

Tanner:I rolled... Oh.

Noah:I will use Chronal Shift as a reaction.

Noah:He has to reroll it.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:That would have been a 21.

Tanner:Instead, it's a 16.

Tanner:Oh, okay.

Noah:My DC is 17.

Tanner:So he's incapacitated until he takes damage.

Mike:Oh, God, that sounds horrific.

Noah:Yep.

Noah:Yep, as he just kind of like shudders and shifts in place as he is rapidly shunted between the time streams.

Tanner:All right.

Noah:Yep, it is truly mind-melting.

Noah:Absolute torture.

Noah:He is living 10,000 lifetimes at this moment.

Josh:Good for him.

Tanner:Very well.

Tanner:That is a lot for his Kruthik mind to handle.

Mike:Wait, how long?

Mike:Two things.

Mike:Is it concentration or how long does it last?

Noah:It is not concentration.

Noah:It lasts until the end of my next turn or until it takes damage.

Mike:Oh, OK, OK.

Noah:But until then, it is incapacitated.

Tanner:Nice.

Noah:Action and reaction.

Noah:So I'm out.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:So that brings us to Glint.

Mike:Yes.

Mike:Critic one.

Jorge:Incapacitate isn't paralyzed, so all hits aren't crits.

Jorge:Okay, cool.

Tanner:Right.

Tanner:It just can't take any action, bonus action or action.

Tanner:It can't speak, but it already couldn't, so that's fine.

Jorge:It's still prone, too.

Tanner:Oh, it would have gotten up on its turn.

Tanner:I didn't say that, but it was in my brain.

Tanner:Because it did go right after you knocked it prone.

Jorge:Okay.

Tanner:I apologize.

Jorge:It doesn't, it's not like I would have gone up to tech opportunity.

Tanner:Okay, so it's Glynn's turn.

Jorge:Yeah.

Noah:Certainly.

Josh:Attack of Opportunity is only if it walks away from you.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:So it's fine.

Mike:kill one d4 cryptic one does the 13 hit does 11 hit oh okay i won't i won't ask a second question you've answered all the questions i could have on this turn

Tanner:What are we killing?

Tanner:A 13 does not.

Josh:You don't get the d4 from my plus anymore.

Josh:I got murdered.

Tanner:Interestingly, an 11 does.

Tanner:No, sorry.

Josh:Thank you.

Mike:That's very unfortunate.

Mike:I'll do nothing.

Mike:There's nothing useful I can do with my bonus action.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:Dang.

Tanner:So we'll move on to Strong.

Noah:Hmm.

Jorge:Alright, I will dig in the back of the smaller crew thick that's large next to me, the number 3.

Tanner:Very well.

Tanner:Are you doing it in a reckless manner?

Tanner:21 hits.

Jorge:Of course.

Jorge:21.

Jorge:Please make a DC-16 check for me, by the way.

Tanner:Of what con, right?

Jorge:Come.

Tanner:You got a 15?

Tanner:What was the DC?

Jorge:Failed!

Jorge:Oh, wait.

Jorge:That is my... I think that's my DC.

Tanner:Oh, no, I got... Sorry, this was the little guy.

Jorge:Let me see.

Tanner:It's a 14.

Jorge:Yeah, I failed that!

Jorge:Aha!

Jorge:So he will be proud.

Tanner:So he's prone now.

Jorge:Yes.

Noah:Correct.

Jorge:Sorry, just a second.

Jorge:I am going to use my special zealot smite thing.

Jorge:Again, extra DC.

Jorge:Alright, so that's 21 points of damage.

Tanner:21 points of damage to Kruthik3.

Tanner:Nice.

Jorge:Yes.

Jorge:You know what?

Jorge:I'm going to do a Great Weapon Master to strike at this guy.

Noah:Super.

Jorge:So minus 5.

Tanner:Okay.

Jorge:And he's prone now, right?

Tanner:Yeah.

Jorge:Oh wait, it doesn't matter.

Jorge:I'm doing it recklessly anyway.

Tanner:Yeah.

Josh:Double the bad.

Jorge:All right, I'll make another strike.

Jorge:Not breakfast.

Jorge:Not not a great.

Jorge:At it.

Tanner:24 hits, for sure.

Tanner:16.

Jorge:Okay, so.

Jorge:16 points of damage.

Tanner:This Kruthik is bloodied!

Jorge:Fantastic.

Noah:Yeah.

Tanner:Actually, it's looking pretty bad.

Jorge:I will use my bonus action to use Warrior of the Gods and heal two d12s.

Tanner:Okay.

Jorge:I got the exact almost average.

Tanner:Pretty sick.

Tanner:That brings us to all of the Kruthik.

Tanner:The High Lord is incapacitated, so he can't do anything, although his turn does technically exist, so I believe he still gets an opportunity to recharge his Acid Spray, even though he can't use it.

Noah:Ooh, get wrecked.

Tanner:because he can't take actions, bonus actions, reactions, but the start of his turn does exist.

Tanner:So I'm going to roll a d6, and it recharges on a 5 or a 6.

Tanner:We'll do it publicly.

Tanner:1.

Tanner:He does not get his acid spray this turn.

Jorge:Yes.

Tanner:He's too confused.

Tanner:In one time stream, he did have his acid spray, so he wasn't pumping his glands.

Josh:Thank you.

Tanner:But the... Yeah, the other three Kruthik are going to go.

Noah:Got to stay pumping your life.

Tanner:We will start with Kruthik 3 because we like to go backwards.

Tanner:And you... It has advantage on you because you were reckless.

Jorge:I assume it's setting up.

Tanner:It did stand up, yes.

Tanner:That's a 17?

Jorge:It's my scene.

Tanner:Okie dokie.

Tanner:That is five points, which halves to two, doesn't it?

Jorge:I feel beautiful.

Tanner:Not very effective.

Jorge:I chuckle.

Tanner:It will try again.

Tanner:Even higher, that's 22.

Noah:you you

Jorge:It is.

Tanner:Which will be six points.

Jorge:I lean into this one a little bit.

Tanner:Ooh, we'll make it seven points and still have it to three anyway.

Tanner:Shoot.

Tanner:Amada, you know what's next.

Tanner:I'm so sorry.

Josh:That's fine.

Josh:I'm a tank.

Tanner:Do they... Are they taking damage?

Josh:At the end of the turn, yes.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:They are going to stay, so... Oh, that's so interesting.

Jorge:That's so mean it's at the end.

Jorge:That means they could knock out the spirit guardians.

Josh:Yep.

Noah:Ooh.

Jorge:Why didn't you ruin that spell?

Tanner:Yeah, that's a 23 to hit.

Josh:That hits.

Josh:I dodge.

Tanner:You take 6 points.

Josh:I succeed on my con check.

Tanner:Okay, jeez.

Tanner:The next one is a 24 to hit.

Josh:That one still hits, yeah.

Tanner:And 5 points.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:Amada's not looking great, but he is an old, frail man.

Josh:I succeed on another con check, though.

Noah:Oh gosh.

Jorge:Where does it take?

Tanner:The next one is a 21 to hit.

Josh:That, yeah.

Tanner:The advantage is really not doing you favors, because the other dice have been pretty low, but the high ones... Anyway, that's going to be 7 points.

Josh:Nope.

Josh:I am still standing.

Tanner:And we have to do one more attack.

Josh:One second.

Josh:I succeeded the con check there, too.

Tanner:This one is a 19 to hit.

Josh:That's my AC.

Tanner:I rolled a 2 and a 14.

Tanner:I cannot.

Josh:Okay, well, I have two hit points, so you have to roll less than that to not knock me unconscious.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:Amada is unconscious, and the spirit guardians fade.

Tanner:That does end their turns, but not in a positive way, at least for Amada in particular.

Josh:Great.

Josh:I tanked the hit so they didn't come after my teammates.

Tanner:There you go.

Josh:I just ice tanked them.

Tanner:That does bring it to your turn.

Josh:Okay, so I'm going to roll the death saving throw.

Tanner:Yeah.

Josh:I succeed.

Tanner:All right.

Tanner:There we go.

Tanner:The wise.

Noah:Um, right from behind Glint, I will just peek out and go, pew!

Noah:And then I'll go, oh god, Mr. Amada!

Noah:Uh, and I will shoot a second level cold chromatic orb, and I hope it works.

Tanner:Who you going for?

Josh:At me?

Tanner:Okay.

Noah:Uh, yeah, add Amada.

Noah:I'll finish him off.

Josh:Okay.

Noah:Um, Kruthik 1.

Mike:you

Noah:Actually, Kruthik 1 and Kruthik 2, who's looking worse?

Tanner:Kruthik 1 is bloodied.

Tanner:Kruthik 2 is not.

Noah:I'll go for Kruthik 1, try and finish him off.

Tanner:But Kruthik 2 has taken some damage.

Tanner:But, yeah.

Noah:That was a 14 hit.

Tanner:A 14 does not hit.

Noah:Oh no.

Noah:Yeah, I'll use my second chronal shift.

Noah:This is my last one.

Noah:And re-roll it.

Tanner:A 15 also does not hit.

Noah:Out of those, with a 15 hit.

Jorge:Do we have the rules in Pathfinder where we all have a reroll and then we get it on ones?

Tanner:They've got such hard armor.

Tanner:Your ice bounces off and... ...recesses into the cave in the back.

Noah:Okay, well, I am running low on resources.

Tanner:I'm seeing a hand.

Jorge:It's okay if not.

Jorge:Just curious.

Tanner:We don't.

Jorge:Okay.

Tanner:Oh.

Noah:Well, that's my turn.

Jorge:That's fair, that's fair.

Jorge:There's lucky feats and stuff, I get it.

Josh:For what it's worth, I am rereading Lucky and it works differently than how I thought it did.

Josh:So I should have used it instead of going down.

Josh:But, you know, good to know for the future.

Jorge:Oh, you could force a disadvantage or something?

Josh:You can force disadvantage on somebody else with a Lucky point.

Josh:I didn't know you could do that.

Jorge:That's why I kept trying to do that with hero points, but it was always, yeah, it's impossible.

Josh:Yeah, no.

Tanner:I'm so sorry.

Tanner:We will move on to Glint.

Mike:yes in front of us instead of working his glands in the time stream in front of loki or whatever

Josh:You got this, Glenn.

Tanner:Oh, the Kruthik Lord returns to this time.

Noah:He is freed.

Tanner:Returns fully to this time.

Noah:But he's a little shaken.

Noah:He's scared.

Noah:We got him on the ropes.

Josh:Now he can work his glands.

Josh:...

Noah:Oh no, his glands.

Tanner:Yeah, you do see him start to work his glands a little bit, for sure.

Jorge:Thank you.

Noah:Look at this thing.

Mike:This is like his family around us.

Mike:He's working his glands in front of his family.

Mike:Anyways, I'm going to kill Kruthik one.

Noah:we learn oh oh god

Tanner:Very well.

Mike:OK, that's my turn.

Tanner:Okay.

Josh:Great.

Mike:Yeah, let's roll some dice.

Mike:15.

Tanner:No, I'm... No.

Mike:Okay, I'm going to spend the lucky point.

Jorge:Does anyone else have healing potions besides me?

Mike:I do.

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:I can't really go give him a healing potion because I gotta try to kill things.

Josh:Just leave me!

Mike:It's ADV parentheses.

Noah:Hmm.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:Lowercase atb.

Tanner:very sensitive.

Josh:It's case sensitive.

Noah:Hmm.

Mike:fucking another... What the fuck are these rolls?

Mike:This is the past five?

Mike:Four rolls?

Mike:A three, three, seven, seven and one.

Mike:Five rolls.

Mike:Three, three, seven, seven and one.

Mike:That is my second... I guess I'm gonna move up, because I gotta administer...

Mike:healing potions on the second beam the first beam was a yeah yeah i'll move up it's

Tanner:Wasn't that just the one beam?

Tanner:You used the lucky point on the... Or... Oh, just the miss.

Tanner:Oh, the lucky just gives you advantage now?

Tanner:Is that what that means?

Tanner:I was not aware of that.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:Carry on.

Tanner:That does bring us to the strong.

Jorge:I will attack with advantage.

Jorge:23, and I need a con save!

Tanner:Yeah, yeah.

Tanner:Crucix 3.

Tanner:Not entirely sure you will, but I think it failed.

Mike:You know why they call them Ruthic 3?

Tanner:It got a 12.

Jorge:13 points of damage?

Tanner:Yeah, you annihilate this guy.

Tanner:Alright.

Jorge:Smash him.

Jorge:And I'm like, that's for the old man.

Jorge:And then I turn and wallop the other one.

Jorge:24!

Tanner:24 hits.

Jorge:12 points of damage.

Tanner:Nice.

Jorge:And I will... Yes, I do.

Tanner:You have a hasted?

Tanner:One is bloodied, yes.

Jorge:Yeah, is one looking hurt?

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:I will... Bonus action!

Jorge:Cloud Jaunt!

Tanner:Ah, genius.

Jorge:Yes.

Jorge:I will get in their face.

Jorge:And then I will smack one.

Jorge:I will attempt to cast Balls.

Jorge:I'd hit, maybe?

Tanner:I'm not seeing it.

Jorge:Sorry.

Tanner:Oh, we're in chatter.

Tanner:21 does hit.

Jorge:Okay, sorry.

Jorge:13 points of damage.

Tanner:It is still up, but it's not looking good.

Tanner:Oh, you're right.

Jorge:Meg, it's a DC Gauntlet.

Tanner:13 points brings him to this number.

Tanner:I got an 18.

Jorge:That succeeds.

Tanner:So it will hold its ground against your huge frame.

Tanner:And they will begin their turns.

Tanner:The Kruthik Lord is going to try to work his clans.

Tanner:I'm going to roll a d6.

Tanner:That's a 6.

Tanner:He's going to spit some acid.

Noah:Oh, God.

Tanner:First he'll step up.

Jorge:I might have miscalculated something.

Jorge:Am I so big I can shield Amada?

Tanner:And I believe...

Tanner:I can't, how do I?

Tanner:Please hold.

Tanner:Oh, okay.

Tanner:If I do it like that.

Tanner:No, I'm being told that Glint is out of range in this position.

Mike:Oh.

Josh:I think so, yeah.

Tanner:You're not, but you will make the deck save, and Amada, I guess you just take a failed death saving throw from the acid damage?

Noah:Oh, no.

Jorge:Can I take double damage to try to shield him?

Josh:I don't remember how that steps work.

Tanner:I don't think so.

Jorge:You can't just say no.

Jorge:Alright.

Jorge:22!

Tanner:A 22 is a success.

Tanner:So you are going to take just 7 points of acid.

Tanner:That's already halved.

Tanner:Man, when it rolls low, it really doesn't feel like a great turn.

Noah:um you

Tanner:But that's its turn.

Tanner:Then Kruthik 2, I guess will make two attacks against you strong.

Jorge:With advantage.

Tanner:With advantage.

Tanner:That's a 12.

Jorge:Misses!

Tanner:And a 12.

Jorge:Misses!

Tanner:Okay, now the low rolls come out.

Tanner:Pruthik 1 is going to split.

Tanner:Do 1 at Glint and 1 at Strong.

Tanner:So first at Glint.

Tanner:Oh, actually, it wouldn't have advantage on Glint, although those were both low.

Jorge:I could take bluff on there.

Tanner:Glint, it's an 11 to hit you.

Mike:It does not.

Tanner:And then against the Strong,

Tanner:That is a 16.

Jorge:Misses with ace.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:So after hitting Amada pretty much every time, they miss all four attacks once Amada's out of the equation.

Tanner:And it goes up to Amada's turn.

Josh:I'm going to roll a death save then.

Josh:Succeeded.

Josh:I have two successes and one failure.

Tanner:Okay, there you go.

Tanner:Wise.

Noah:Yes.

Noah:I... Okay.

Noah:I'm gonna go for a... I'm gonna go for a Hail Mary here.

Noah:I will wave my hands and do some sparkly lights and I'm gonna cast Phantasmal Force on the big Kruthik.

Tanner:Okay.

Noah:DC 17 intelligence save.

Tanner:I need to make a save of some kind.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:I got a 10.

Noah:That is a failure.

Noah:So I will implant in his mind that there is a much larger, scarier guy just in the corner attacking his kids.

Noah:And also it has fire.

Josh:Oops.

Tanner:There you go.

Noah:I don't think it'll take any damage for that, but it's in the furthest corner of the room, and it's... You've got to get over to it, and it's scary.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:Sure.

Tanner:Yes.

Noah:Ah!

Tanner:And it's killing kids.

Noah:It is killing kids.

Noah:That is... I did just realize that is concentration.

Noah:Drop concentration on haste.

Noah:I am so sorry.

Jorge:Okay.

Tanner:That does do a thing of some kind.

Noah:Yes, I think it means that Jorge is incapacitated for a turn.

Jorge:Oh no, I'm slowed.

Tanner:I don't know how bad of a thing.

Tanner:That's a little unfortunate.

Noah:Can I take my turn back?

Tanner:I will allow you to reconsider, yes.

Noah:Thank you.

Jorge:Thank you.

Noah:I would like to take my turn back and not do that.

Noah:He is not incapacitated.

Noah:And instead, I will...

Noah:I'll pull out a little journal and I'll look at the Kruthik Lord and I'll say, What do you call a spider that kills flies?

Tanner:Okay, so it takes damage automatically.

Noah:A buzzkill!

Noah:And I'll cast Tasha's Hideous Laughter.

Noah:Wait, is this... Wait, hang on.

Noah:Is this Concentration 2?

Noah:I'm sorry, I haven't played this game in a long time.

Noah:That's Concentration 2.

Noah:Fuck!

Noah:All these spells are Concentration.

Noah:I'm going to cast Magic Missile at second level.

Tanner:Ooh.

Noah:Not on the big guy on Kruthik 1.

Noah:Sorry, folks.

Noah:I know that was a lot of things.

Noah:I haven't played this game in a while.

Jorge:All right.

Noah:My apologies.

Noah:Yep, just going to be 4d4 plus 1.

Noah:Great.

Tanner:Or it would be plus 4, I guess, because it's plus 1 per dart.

Noah:14 points of force damage.

Tanner:That's enough to end this Kruthik.

Noah:So the wise just goes, I held it, and not that one.

Noah:I held it, and not that one.

Noah:And throws out some magic missiles.

Tanner:and they fly out and hit this thing at some pressure points and get under its chitin and squish its guts on the inside and it falls over.

Noah:Okay, so strong is still hasted.

Noah:My apologies.

Jorge:Appreciate it.

Tanner:So there's floating hex energy in the air.

Noah:Yes, that is all I got.

Tanner:And it is Glint's turn.

Tanner:Wise, I believe that'll be all.

Tanner:All right, Glint, you're up.

Mike:uh let's see i pull out where is my i thought i had an items page okay i do i pull out a potion of greater healing of which i think i just have one and i will administer it to amada

Josh:Cool.

Tanner:Okay, I believe that that is still an action, despite them now making drinking potions officially a bonus action.

Tanner:I think to administer... Yeah, very well.

Mike:Yeah, I thought the ruling was fine.

Mike:If it's for you, it's a bonus action.

Mike:If it's for someone else, it's an action.

Mike:And then my bonus action will be used to move my hex to Kruthik 2.

Mike:And then I will maneuver myself into position.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:right so somebody should roll for the greater such a team player

Josh:Yeah, which greater healing potion?

Jorge:44.

Mike:Just full health.

Josh:44 plus 4.

Josh:Would you like to roll that?

Mike:Sure.

Mike:If I just put D... If I just do D4, is it going to know?

Josh:No.

Mike:Oh, okay.

Mike:12 hit points.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:I'm not dying.

Tanner:There you go.

Tanner:And you don't get a wounded condition.

Josh:Nice.

Tanner:That brings us to the strong.

Tanner:You're hasted.

Jorge:Yes.

Tanner:In another timeline, you're incapacitated right now, but not this one.

Tanner:You're free to work your glands.

Jorge:Not this one.

Jorge:I'm going to use my last cloud jump to go here?

Noah:Oh.

Tanner:Sure, whatever.

Jorge:Wait, sorry.

Tanner:The Kruthix cone?

Jorge:Do I think... Wait, would the cone hit him if I'm here?

Jorge:I didn't hit him on him.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:I think probably yes, if it could get both of you in this current formation.

Jorge:Okay, so down here it wouldn't, though.

Tanner:Yeah, if it went for you, it would not be able to hit Amada.

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:And now I'm gonna strike the perfect lord.

Tanner:Yeah.

Jorge:One, two, three!

Jorge:I'm just going to do... I'm just going to roll here.

Tanner:Yeah, 23 hits.

Tanner:Frick.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:Wow.

Jorge:Delicious.

Jorge:Can I just add them all up?

Tanner:Uh, yes.

Jorge:No, no, no.

Jorge:I'll split it.

Jorge:I'll split it up.

Tanner:I don't think it'll matter for me, so if you are reliably able to add them all into one, you can.

Jorge:And he's going to have to keep making that DC because I'm going to keep knocking it from him.

Noah:Thank you.

Tanner:Nice.

Tanner:That looks fun.

Jorge:Even though I don't really know if it serves me any purpose.

Tanner:Yeah, the way that it's all lined up, I don't think it does much, but I will do it.

Tanner:I just need to do math because... Okay.

Jorge:When we get back, I'm going to try to trade my maw for an axe, great axe.

Jorge:Because I think that specialty is better than... Because I forgot that it doesn't take an action to stand up, or even all of your movement.

Tanner:than the prone.

Jorge:Because I can't even just do it and take a step back, because they can still just stand up and come with me.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:Yeah, it would work better if your allies also had a chance to go before it could stand back up.

Tanner:But it is bloodied after those strikes.

Jorge:Oh, yeah.

Jorge:Yeah, never mind.

Jorge:I'll keep it then.

Tanner:What is the DC to get knocked prone?

Jorge:16. okay

Tanner:Okay, it fails on the second strike and falls prone.

Tanner:Is that the end of your turn?

Tanner:Okay, then it's going to stand up.

Noah:you you

Tanner:And it's going to see if it recharges.

Tanner:It does not recharge.

Tanner:So instead it will, for the first time this encounter, make two...

Tanner:Dabs at you.

Tanner:At advantage.

Tanner:Wow.

Tanner:Double fours.

Tanner:That's 11 to hit.

Jorge:this is i thought you'd be stronger than this i'm gonna kill you just like your children

Mike:Just.

Noah:haunting the spell.

Tanner:That is a 15.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:Shoot.

Tanner:I guess Kruthik2 has to go for Amada.

Josh:Fine.

Josh:I'm immortal.

Tanner:You are prone.

Josh:I am pregnant.

Tanner:So it will attack you with advantage.

Jorge:I'm sorry, I was trying not to get you spit on.

Josh:Eh, it's fine.

Tanner:That is a 16 to hit.

Josh:It doesn't hit.

Tanner:Let's go.

Tanner:The 24.

Tanner:Okay, so... So I make a new roll at disadvantage.

Josh:That one does hit.

Noah:I will use my last level one spell, Silvery Barbs.

Josh:Well, I have lucky.

Josh:I can just give it disadvantage.

Noah:Never mind.

Josh:I've remembered that, so I can do it now.

Josh:So that second one, you can just reroll again and then take the lower of the two.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:That's a 21.

Josh:Still hits.

Tanner:Okay, so now I roll with disadvantage.

Noah:Silvery Barbs.

Noah:Now, I think you just roll one more time and take the lower.

Tanner:Okay.

Noah:And I will give Lint advantage on something, whatever his next thing is.

Tanner:I got a nine.

Tanner:Okay.

Josh:That one doesn't it?

Josh:Great.

Tanner:So we visit three different time streams and we get the one that we want.

Jorge:It is not.

Tanner:That is it for them.

Noah:Just keep forcing.

Tanner:Amada, it's your turn.

Tanner:You're on the ground.

Tanner:Nice.

Josh:Yeah, I hear it's optimal to stay on the ground.

Noah:you

Josh:Although I don't know if that's true in this setting.

Mike:wrong system wrong system

Josh:Okay.

Josh:Fine.

Josh:I will spend half of my movement to stand up.

Josh:So I'm no longer prone.

Josh:Is anybody bloodied besides me?

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:You still just kill old man.

Josh:Then I will just guiding bolt the Kruthik Lord.

Tanner:Very well.

Tanner:Yeah, 46 is base.

Josh:This is at third level, so I think it's 4d6.

Josh:Nope, it's 6d6.

Josh:It's 6d6.

Josh:29.

Jorge:I'm going to be mad at you.

Josh:Oh, I should have rolled to attack first.

Josh:Totally sorry.

Josh:Ignore that.

Jorge:Jorge is happy you hit it.

Josh:19.

Tanner:19 hits!

Josh:Great.

Josh:So then he's going to take 29 points of radiant damage.

Tanner:So he takes 29 points.

Tanner:Okay.

Jorge:Strong is upset you hit it.

Jorge:It's between me, big guy to big guy.

Tanner:So... Nice.

Tanner:Anything else?

Josh:No.

Tanner:You've stood, yes?

Noah:All right.

Tanner:Did we... Okay.

Josh:Yeah, I stood up.

Tanner:Wise.

Noah:Gosh, I have just been missing all over the place.

Noah:How bad's Kruthik 2 looking?

Tanner:Kruthik, too, is not bloodied.

Tanner:Took a little bit of damage from some Spirit Guardians way back when, but that's about it.

Noah:It... Gosh.

Jorge:How bad's the Crusader Lord looking?

Tanner:Pretty darn bad.

Tanner:On the Lord?

Noah:Then I will...

Noah:Use my last spell slot to cast Magic Missile at level 2.

Jorge:This is my glory, brother.

Noah:On the Crucible Lord, yeah.

Tanner:Very well.

Tanner:15 is not enough to kill it.

Jorge:Brother, this is my glory to have.

Noah:Oh.

Jorge:No, no, no, I'm kidding.

Jorge:No, go for it, go for it.

Josh:Thank you.

Noah:I'll raise my hand and go, is this... Is this cool?

Jorge:Again, Jorge is happy for it.

Noah:Are you sure?

Noah:Is this cool?

Jorge:Ah, if I go for it.

Noah:It might not even kill it.

Noah:15 points.

Jorge:It's gonna be Glint then, that bastard.

Tanner:but it's looking really, really bad.

Noah:I am out of spell slots.

Noah:And... I think he wants to get the how do you want to do this?

Jorge:Glint, can I interest you in Kruthik 2?

Mike:You want me to kill Kruthik, too, or the Kruthik Lord?

Mike:My hack is on Kruthik, too.

Jorge:I think Strong would want to kill it.

Jorge:Jorge really doesn't give a fuck.

Jorge:I don't care if he did.

Mike:That's who I was going to target anyways.

Jorge:Okay, so yeah.

Noah:Do it.

Jorge:Yeah, I don't think the Lord could kill me in a 1v1.

Noah:I don't think the Lord will kill me.

Jorge:Hopefully.

Mike:Oh, is it my turn?

Jorge:Yes.

Jorge:What'd you say?

Mike:It's my turn?

Tanner:Oh, yes, it is.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:Thank you.

Tanner:Sorry.

Noah:Oh, yes.

Noah:I am out of everything I can do.

Mike:I am finger gunning Krithik too.

Mike:Oh, I have advantage.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:Are we sure?

Tanner:Oh, you do.

Mike:According to the wise, yeah.

Tanner:You're right.

Tanner:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tanner:I agree.

Mike:Ooh, another 11 with advantage.

Mike:My second blast.

Tanner:Jorge has been rolling so high and you've just not had the same experience.

Mike:Oh, a 12.

Noah:thank you

Mike:We're improving.

Mike:That's the turn.

Jorge:Well, to be fair, all of my rolls are at advantage.

Tanner:That's true.

Jorge:All right, is it my turn?

Tanner:It is.

Jorge:Listen to me.

Jorge:Look over there!

Jorge:And I point up, and I try to uppercut it right in the gland.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:Its gland is exposed.

Tanner:17.

Noah:Not his gland.

Jorge:17.

Tanner:Oh, did you roll with you?

Tanner:Or you had advantage already.

Tanner:17 does not hit.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:22 does.

Jorge:All right.

Jorge:22?

Jorge:All right.

Jorge:That's it.

Jorge:I had motion up there.

Jorge:And then smack it up.

Tanner:Yeah, you absolutely pop its gland and some of the acid kind of eats away at its flesh that is not as protected from that part of its biology.

Tanner:And...

Jorge:Yep.

Jorge:18?

Tanner:So it had 16 hit points and then got hit by 15 points of magic missile.

Jorge:Was that 18?

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:So with its one hit point, you absolutely destroy it and its gland.

Josh:Thank you.

Jorge:Give me one second.

Jorge:I can't really see.

Noah:Thank you.

Jorge:Does Haste let me grab?

Jorge:No, right?

Tanner:Say that again?

Jorge:Haste doesn't let me grab things, right?

Tanner:I think it says you can make an attack.

Tanner:I'm not sure.

Jorge:Okay.

Tanner:No, doesn't it just give you another action?

Jorge:I can use an object.

Tanner:Oh, attack, dash, disengage, hide, or utilize.

Mike:I thought it was like dash attack or... Utilize.

Jorge:You're using an object.

Jorge:That's fine.

Tanner:Is grapple its own...

Tanner:I forget how grappling works in this game.

Jorge:Sorry.

Jorge:I'll just try to... I'll walk over and just smack it.

Noah:Mm hmm.

Jorge:I was going to try to throw the other one dead carcass onto the smaller one so that I wouldn't be able to attack my friend as easily.

Jorge:But I'll just go over and smack it.

Jorge:Listen here, little bug.

Jorge:I'll kill you next.

Jorge:46.

Tanner:26.

Tanner:Yeah, that hits for sure.

Tanner:11 points.

Jorge:11 points of damage.

Jorge:BC 16 con save, please.

Tanner:11.

Noah:No.

Tanner:It's prone for now.

Jorge:It's wrong.

Mike:Hello.

Jorge:It really sucks up at the end of our initiative work.

Tanner:You couldn't be in a worse spot with the prone thing.

Tanner:It is not bloodied.

Tanner:And it's going... Yeah, you kind of are looming for sure.

Jorge:And I'm going to try to loom over it.

Tanner:That's your turn.

Tanner:So it's going to go... It's going to stand up, and it is feeling most threatened by you, so it will strike you or make an attempt.

Jorge:With advantage.

Tanner:Yeah, I got a 17.

Tanner:Okay, okay.

Jorge:That hits.

Jorge:That's my AC.

Tanner:The Hive Lord is dead.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:6 points!

Jorge:Three!

Tanner:You may half it.

Jorge:I feel three of them!

Jorge:That hits.

Tanner:You may half it.

Tanner:And then a 20 to hit.

Tanner:Artificially.

Tanner:7 points!

Tanner:Which also gets halved to 3.

Tanner:Shoot, that's it.

Jorge:I take the last strike to my face because he was trying to pick his teeth with it.

Noah:Oh.

Jorge:So he gets cut in the face.

Tanner:Trying to catch it at the right angle.

Jorge:Yeah, yeah.

Tanner:That brings us to Amada.

Josh:Yeah, I will... I think I'm gonna just cantrip this guy.

Josh:Um... I... No, I don't wanna... Yeah, I don't wanna do that.

Jorge:You're gonna step back?

Jorge:Well, it's a full action.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:I want... I'm here.

Josh:He's been injured.

Josh:I'm going to try to toll the dead.

Josh:Wiz.

Tanner:Ooh, I make a con-wiz?

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:Wiz.

Tanner:Wisdom.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:That's a nine!

Tanner:Yeah.

Josh:That is a failure.

Josh:So it's going to take 15 points of toll the dead damage.

Tanner:Ooh!

Josh:Bell damage.

Josh:Necrotic damage.

Tanner:It's bloody now as you make it realize the death surrounding it and impending it.

Josh:Yeah.

Tanner:Um...

Josh:I'm tolling it.

Tanner:impending upon it?

Josh:Five copper pieces.

Josh:Looming over it.

Tanner:Sure.

Mike:Loom.

Josh:Lou.

Tanner:And then it would be the wisest turn if you would like to pass it on.

Noah:I also only have cantrips.

Josh:I'm not doing anything else.

Noah:I have never been this resource poor.

Mike:Cantrips are nice.

Noah:I will just use a little sapping sting.

Noah:Actually, this thing's right, it's a good con save.

Noah:I'll hit it with a little mind sliver.

Tanner:Ooh.

Noah:It's got to make an int save.

Noah:Nice.

Tanner:Oh, you picked its worst save.

Tanner:Way to go.

Tanner:I rolled a six minus two is four.

Tanner:Okay.

Noah:That is a failure.

Noah:If this was another system, it would be a crit failure.

Noah:So now he takes 2d6 damage and must subtract the next saving throw it makes before the end of my next turn.

Noah:Three psychic damage.

Tanner:All right.

Tanner:It's a d4 from its next saving throw.

Tanner:Is that right?

Noah:Yeah.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:If that'll be all, it becomes Glyn's turn.

Mike:Feeling good about this one, guys.

Mike:Hey, 22.

Tanner:A 22 hits.

Mike:Oh, this was going to be plus 5.

Mike:So 11.

Tanner:You shake off your first day jitters and land a hit.

Tanner:How would you like to end this guy?

Mike:Yes.

Mike:Glint will stop with the one-handed gun.

Noah:you you

Mike:He will put two hands on the gun, crouch down, and the camera zooms in.

Mike:It gets like a very interesting, like the barrel's very close to the lens like this.

Tanner:Done indeed.

Mike:One shot, headshot, Prudik falls to the ground.

Mike:It's done.

Tanner:And a quiet settles on the area.

Tanner:Dead Kruthik spilling Kruthik juice.

Noah:I'd like to find one of these much smaller Kruthix and take its head off and wear it as a hat.

Tanner:Very well, you do.

Tanner:It is also juicy, and you both have a little bit of Kruthik juice kind of dripping down the cheeks.

Jorge:I let my body shrink back to normal size.

Tanner:Very well.

Tanner:I will reflect that in the map.

Jorge:I hand an extra yellow potion over.

Noah:I run over to Amada.

Noah:Oh God, Mr. Amada, are you all right?

Noah:Mr. Amada, say something.

Noah:Don't die on us.

Josh:I'm fine.

Josh:Everyone sits on death's doorstep once or forty times during their life.

Josh:I'll get better.

Josh:Calm down.

Josh:It wasn't time for me to go.

Noah:Oh, don't scare me like that.

Josh:If it were time, I would be gone already.

Noah:Maybe we should call you Amada the Wise.

Mike:I believe it.

Josh:That's what I've been telling people to call me for literally centuries.

Noah:All right.

Noah:Are you a human?

Noah:What race are you?

Josh:He's a drow.

Noah:Oh, okay.

Noah:Drought.

Noah:I think I missed that.

Josh:Yeah, no, he's an old, old man.

Jorge:i don't know if we could have two wises in the party that'd be confusing to be honest uh how do we call you yeah we can call you the old i'm gonna go grab the box

Josh:That's fine.

Noah:That is true.

Noah:Amada the Old!

Josh:You don't have to call the little one the wise.

Josh:That's fine, too.

Noah:Amada the...

Josh:Be accurate.

Noah:The geriatric.

Mike:Jerry.

Josh:I'm...

Josh:Cento-octogenarian?

Josh:Heptacento-octogenarian?

Noah:Wow.

Josh:I think that's the term.

Noah:Amada.

Noah:Amada the wrinkly.

Noah:Is the visor on your helmet down too?

Jorge:thank you

Josh:Very accurate.

Josh:Not that you can tell because I'm wearing full armor.

Josh:Absolutely not.

Josh:You keep the visor down, it gets stuffy in there.

Mike:What about Amada the Squeaky?

Noah:Tanner, I'd like to go investigate.

Mike:His joints and his armor.

Tanner:Otherwise, I believe you said you were going towards the crate.

Josh:Love.

Noah:Yes, I'd like to go investigate this crate.

Jorge:Yes I would like to pick that up.

Tanner:Okay, so...

Tanner:You approach it.

Tanner:It is, in fact, the source of the soft glow lighting this chamber.

Tanner:What you see before you is a mostly wooden chest.

Tanner:It's about the size of a microwave, I'd say.

Tanner:And you see it's got kind of two metal latches that keep it shut, or at least it's supposed to.

Tanner:You see the right side of it has been chipped and torn and scratched at, and it is partially broken open on that side.

Tanner:such that you can sort of see into the interior of the chest.

Tanner:And you see on the inside, there's...

Tanner:like these three indents where you see two of them are empty.

Tanner:And then in the one all the way to the left, still kind of covered by that side of the chest, there's what looks like a spool wrapped pretty thoroughly in a...

Tanner:in the, uh, ruined spider silk.

Tanner:Um, it's giving off this, uh, soft, uh, yellowish glow.

Tanner:Uh, yes, question.

Jorge:Which one was the lord next to it before?

Jorge:I'm going to, like, nod at my brother.

Tanner:The Lord was the one near it, yeah.

Jorge:Pull out my halberd.

Tanner:Mm-hmm.

Jorge:Walk over to the lord and just try to, like, gut it.

Jorge:See if there's any... I'm going to be careful.

Jorge:See if there's any string in there.

Tanner:Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Jorge:And then if there's... I'm going to check the other ones as well.

Jorge:I also have a sickle.

Tanner:OK.

Jorge:Which might be easier.

Tanner:That probably would be easier.

Tanner:No roll necessary.

Tanner:You cut it open, and you don't see anything.

Tanner:At least not that would be recoverable within it.

Jorge:Did I find what I think was it originally?

Tanner:What you do find is one of the dowels or the spool itself.

Tanner:You don't see any remnants of the actual silk.

Tanner:But it looks like two of the three spools were removed and the silk is soiled and destroyed.

Jorge:Other quick question.

Jorge:So we know they needed the spool soon.

Jorge:That's why we didn't get to rest.

Jorge:I take it they wanted three.

Jorge:Do we think one could buy them sometime?

Jorge:Or do we think we should just try to go get them now?

Tanner:You think that they would like three.

Jorge:So we should go just...

Jorge:I'll leave this to the wise and the old.

Jorge:I present the findings.

Noah:Well, I think one is better than nothing.

Noah:But it doesn't seem like it's that far from camp.

Noah:Maybe we can run this back really fast, make sure it's safe, and then hunt two others.

Noah:Take a rest and get the others.

Mike:sure

Jorge:Sounds good.

Tanner:Okay, so... Yeah, it's the chest.

Jorge:I can hold the spool.

Tanner:They have the little cart that they were using.

Tanner:It's more a matter of convenience.

Tanner:It is possible to carry the chest.

Tanner:It's not excessively heavy.

Jorge:Yeah, and is the chest, like, protecting the spool, or is that just for... Like, do I think I can just wrap it up and just carry him first?

Tanner:You do know that the spool is pretty fragile.

Jorge:Okay, so I'll carry the chest.

Tanner:So, yeah.

Tanner:It's probably safest in there because it's kind of locked into one of these indentations within the chest.

Jorge:I have a carpenter's kit.

Tanner:It still has a decent amount of cover because that side of it wasn't destroyed.

Jorge:Carpenter's tools, sorry.

Jorge:Can I try to fix the chest?

Tanner:Yeah, what kind of... I guess that would be like a dexterity with proficiency kind of thing.

Jorge:Ability.

Jorge:Oh, wait.

Jorge:It says ability strength.

Tanner:Oh, it does say strength.

Jorge:Utilize to seal or pry open a door or a container.

Tanner:I'll let you use your strength with proficiency.

Tanner:That's fine.

Jorge:What's our proficiency?

Jorge:Oh, three.

Jorge:Fifteen.

Tanner:OK, so you take, I guess, what is left of the chest.

Tanner:And there's enough of the metal buckle on the right side to kind of bend it back and reshape the wood a bit such that you can fully buckle it.

Tanner:There is just some wood that was chewed away and missing.

Tanner:So there is still a bit of a hole, but you've secured it in a way that you feel pretty safe about the spool, because it's all the way on the other side.

Tanner:It's pretty secure, even though the full chest is not in perfect shape.

Noah:Should we hustle on back to... Yeah.

Mike:The road?

Mike:Seems reasonable.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:So you make your way out of the cave.

Tanner:And it wasn't very far from the entrance of the cave to Ruins Run.

Tanner:And you are turning back south towards Trilene to bring the one spool.

Noah:Yep.

Josh:Okay.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:I'm going to say that that journey goes relatively well.

Tanner:You make haste.

Tanner:It does take a couple more hours, and it is getting rather dark by the time you return.

Tanner:but you are able to hail the two peacekeepers who man the gate.

Tanner:Looks like it's a different two guys than were up there before.

Tanner:Could just be shift change.

Tanner:Could be, you know, maybe they were a little disappointing.

Tanner:Who knows?

Tanner:And actually, you do see, as you break from the tree line and start heading towards the gate, just pacing in a relatively regimented march is Bulldog, the dwarf.

Tanner:Seems like he has been extra vigilant while you guys were away.

Tanner:Um, and he goes, ah, boys, welcome back.

Tanner:Tell me, was your journey a success?

Tanner:Amada, you kind of look like shit.

Josh:I always do, but it's rude to point that out.

Tanner:Mm, I'm sorry.

Tanner:Uh, what happened?

Tanner:You find any of the spool or what?

Josh:We found some insects in the spool.

Tanner:All right.

Tanner:I've got no use for it.

Tanner:Why don't you just go inside?

Tanner:I'll stay out here.

Josh:Why'd you ask?

Jorge:I'll tell you about it later.

Jorge:Because he's your friend?

Tanner:I wanted to know if you had found any glory.

Tanner:Oh, yes.

Noah:Hey, Bulldog, Amada was telling me that after we finish this, he really wanted to hear about your eye.

Jorge:I'm Glory.

Jorge:I'm gonna die soon.

Tanner:Perhaps the three of you go inside, and Amada, you and I can chat for a little bit.

Tanner:I could tell you about some of my stories.

Josh:I have no time.

Noah:Period.

Josh:Plus, I'm working on a very limited timetable here.

Noah:Don't worry, Amada.

Noah:Don't worry, Mr. Amada.

Noah:I have all the time in the world.

Noah:Time magic, time magic, time magic.

Tanner:These are trying times.

Mike:Maybe not.

Tanner:I understand.

Tanner:Perhaps I'll find you in the morning.

Mike:He is old.

Noah:He has no time.

Tanner:Bulldog remains vigilant at the gate as you guys enter into Trilene.

Tanner:You head to the tip of the spear.

Tanner:I believe it's called... Let me check my notes.

Tanner:Oh yeah, Tip of the Spear, Forager Headquarters.

Tanner:And you find the Bastion is in there speaking with Demko Fennell.

Tanner:Yeah, question?

Tanner:Comment?

Jorge:Have you seen the other guys?

Tanner:I've not seen the other guys.

Jorge:Oh.

Jorge:Well, there's a scene where cool cops walk into the police station and everyone's like, oh my god, they're so cool.

Jorge:That's us right now.

Jorge:They're like, oh shit.

Jorge:Covered in blood bug splatter.

Noah:We did it.

Jorge:And they're like, wow, they're so cool.

Jorge:They cause so much damage to the city, though.

Jorge:And we're like, show your fucking face.

Mike:It actually works out really well because they caused like $25 million in damage for like a quarter ounce of weed.

Mike:And it's just like, we absolutely just fucked ourselves up and spent healing potions.

Mike:And we're like, we got one thing.

Josh:Thank you.

Tanner:Ah, Foragers, you've returned.

Tanner:I'm glad to see it.

Tanner:I see you have the chest with you.

Tanner:How did it go?

Tanner:All right, well...

Jorge:I opened it up.

Jorge:Looks like the inferior twins got jumped.

Jorge:Bugs ate two of the spools.

Jorge:I don't know why they were trusted with it, to be honest, if I can speak candidly.

Tanner:Well, and you see the one is there and he goes, what the hell, man?

Tanner:I was just trying to do my job.

Jorge:I then dropped, like, two partially digested spools.

Noah:I'm just behind my brother being like,

Tanner:But he... The Bastion turns to Demko Final and says, can you get these spools cleaned up for me, please?

Jorge:I fished it out of the big bug lord, but you know.

Josh:Okay.

Tanner:Um...

Tanner:And he kind of gingerly grabs them.

Tanner:Still kind of juicy, I assume.

Tanner:You did not take much care to clean them off.

Jorge:No, there's still juice coming down my face.

Tanner:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jorge:How do you fix that?

Tanner:And he kind of walks off.

Noah:I watch him.

Tanner:Um... Uh...

Noah:Pledge!

Noah:I hit him with a magic missile.

Jorge:I rage, I'm kidding.

Jorge:It's so bad, I rage.

Josh:Why are you so actively antagonistic against this guy who watched his, like, friends presumably get murdered like five hours ago?

Josh:Uh, okay.

Jorge:Yeah, my friends would have gotten murdered in front of my watch.

Tanner:Oh, yeah, I was supposed to describe a couple corpses.

Tanner:There were a couple pretty picked, clean skeletons in that cave that I forgot to mention.

Noah:Oh Take that

Tanner:They didn't really have anything of use on them.

Jorge:Or do they have any, like, keepsakes that we, like, like a locket or something?

Tanner:There was one... What was it?

Tanner:I can't believe I forgot about this.

Tanner:There was one intact shadow weave web.

Tanner:kind of off to the side that you could have taken.

Tanner:I will note with the weave webs, basically, after a long rest, you can designate a weave web as your active weave web for that day.

Tanner:So you can't have two of them going.

Tanner:But you guys can have this shadow weave web if you ever wanted to switch it out with yours and go back and forth.

Noah:Unchanged.

Jorge:Are there any, like, dog tags I can drop that, like, I got off Dead Bodies?

Tanner:Sure.

Tanner:We'll say you found some identifying keepsakes.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:Around your lost friends.

Josh:What did this guy do to us again?

Josh:Why do we hate him?

Noah:Absolutely nothing.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:All I can remember about him is that he watched his friends die, he ran away from some slime foxes, and that's it.

Josh:That's all I know about him.

Jorge:Well, they're twins.

Tanner:Yeah, I think that the Strong doesn't like that he failed his mission.

Josh:Right, he's a twin.

Tanner:And that's kind of where this is stemming from.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:Right.

Tanner:But anyway, he...

Jorge:And he thinks that twins should do well.

Tanner:He takes the keepsakes and goes, thanks.

Noah:Thank you.

Tanner:Yeah, I guess I'll return these to their families.

Tanner:I don't know.

Tanner:I appreciate that.

Tanner:And he walks off looking rather defeated and sad.

Tanner:But the Bastion is still here.

Tanner:She was looking slightly amused at you guys kind of ribbing at Demko.

Jorge:you

Tanner:A little off-put by the kind of callousness at the Dead Foragers.

Tanner:But she says to you guys, well...

Tanner:At least this is good enough for now.

Tanner:I can deliver this to the folks at the Albright NAT.

Tanner:if you're feeling up to it, I know you just went out today, and she looks at Clint, and I know this was a pretty quick introduction to what we do around here, but if you're feeling up for it tomorrow, going on a proper ruins run, I think we could use that.

Tanner:This will only last us so long.

Mike:Absolutely.

Jorge:Sounds good.

Jorge:Also, I thought they were peacekeepers.

Jorge:I didn't realize there were other foragers as well.

Tanner:Oh, yeah, so... That's fair.

Jorge:I would have been a little nicer with the keepsakes.

Jorge:For the foragers, I would have been nicer.

Tanner:Yeah, the Peacekeepers are more... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jorge:I don't like the peacekeepers.

Jorge:They're lazy.

Tanner:The Peacekeepers are more internal.

Tanner:They'll guard the settlement if it's attacked, but they don't really go out very much.

Jorge:Gotcha.

Jorge:Sorry, I wouldn't have been that callous with that.

Jorge:I thought the twins were part of the peacekeepers and their group was the peacekeepers.

Tanner:No, no.

Jorge:I would have been more nice to that.

Jorge:Still, they don't look like twins, but the keepstakes would have been like brothers.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:Understood.

Tanner:All right.

Tanner:Well, very well then.

Tanner:You've definitely earned some rest for the evening.

Tanner:I'll see what I can do about maybe actually pulling a cart together for you guys by the morning.

Jorge:Quick note.

Jorge:Looks like the bugs, we killed a lot of them.

Jorge:I don't know if there's more.

Jorge:They sense heat.

Jorge:Maybe we can make boxes for the silk that cloaks that.

Tanner:Oh, yeah, that's an interesting thought.

Tanner:Yeah, we hadn't really encountered those creatures before.

Tanner:I probably won't be able to get anything for you for tomorrow, but I'll definitely speak to some of the folks at Yesteryear and see if they could get crafting on something like that.

Tanner:Yes.

Noah:Ma'am, from our quick adventure, it seems like these creatures are generally more deep subterranean.

Noah:Should we be concerned if subterranean creatures are finding their way to the surface like this?

Tanner:That is a very interesting observation.

Tanner:I hadn't really pondered that.

Tanner:We don't really know exactly what effect all the destruction has done to the deeper parts of our world, so it could be something that we see more of in the future.

Tanner:Maybe there's more turmoil down there than we're aware of.

Noah:Oh, geez.

Noah:Now we're going to fight mole people too.

Jorge:What if they come underneath our walls?

Tanner:Perhaps we'll have to beef up our guard.

Tanner:I don't know.

Tanner:But we remain vigilant.

Tanner:The people of Trilene have stood strong for the last century or two, so I'm sure we will continue to do so.

Tanner:And it's definitely with the help of people like us and people like you guys that braved the world today.

Tanner:So I thank you for that.

Tanner:Dismissed.

Noah:Ma'am!

Noah:I click my heels.

Jorge:We do it in unison.

Mike:So where do we get some grub?

Mike:Where do we sleep around here?

Noah:Usually we get grub in the mess hall.

Tanner:Yes, that's correct.

Jorge:Can I just give you a tip though?

Tanner:There is the mess hall.

Jorge:Don't make eye contact with the one guy.

Jorge:You'll just never stop talking to him.

Noah:Don't make eye contact with Bulldog.

Noah:Don't ask about his eye.

Noah:Don't ask any personal questions

Mike:Okay.

Tanner:So you guys are going to the mess hall to get a little grub.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:Very well.

Tanner:You head over to the mess hall.

Tanner:They are serving kind of like a stew dinner meal.

Tanner:You do see Bulldog in the mess hall.

Tanner:You could see also the other twin, Renko.

Tanner:He has some bandages kind of on his side, and it looks like his one leg is pretty banged up.

Tanner:So he's kind of sat and...

Tanner:not very active, and it seems as though he is the one that has been cornered tonight.

Jorge:Hi.

Tanner:And in fact, you overhear the exact same story about the reptilian creatures and the spitting in the eye.

Tanner:but he seems to be enraptured in his own story and he doesn't really notice you guys coming in.

Noah:As we sit down having our meal, I'd like to kind of gather my team in.

Tanner:So you're able to have your meal in relative peace.

Noah:Team, I think we're a team now.

Noah:I have a bad feeling about this whole thing.

Noah:I mean, two spools lost?

Noah:Subterranean creatures coming up from the depths?

Noah:Also, just because we've survived every day up until now doesn't mean we'll survive tomorrow.

Noah:I feel like, you know, people were kind of just going about their lives one day and the next day a god got ripped in half.

Noah:So, kind of bold of the Bastion to be spitting out hot hand fallacies over here.

Josh:I don't know what any of that means.

Noah:I have a bad feeling about this.

Noah:I feel like something big's coming.

Jorge:I don't like it either.

Jorge:Oh.

Josh:So what, you gonna quit?

Noah:What?

Josh:It's the end of the road for the smaller of the identical twins?

Noah:No, I never said that.

Noah:I just said we should be prepared.

Josh:Were you planning on going in unprepared?

Mike:I think he's saying to...

Noah:I pull off my backpack, open it up, and pull out an uncut coconut and also a knife.

Noah:Like one of those big leaving knives.

Noah:And then I cut it in half.

Noah:Pull out some tequila.

Noah:Pour it in there.

Noah:Put in a squeeze of lime.

Noah:Little umbrella.

Noah:I hand it over.

Noah:I'm never unprepared.

Josh:I don't know what you're preparing for.

Jorge:So...

Josh:This is good.

Noah:I pull out.

Josh:Even the coconut?

Noah:Thank you.

Noah:I pull out some cool shades.

Noah:I'm never unprepared.

Noah:These are all relics of the old world.

Tanner:There is one coconut tree that is grown in the light of the Albright, so the coconuts are a bit of a luxury.

Mike:Thank you.

Tanner:It's more of a luxury.

Noah:So.

Josh:He said that they were all relics of before, so I assumed it was just an old coconut.

Josh:It's much better for this to be a luxury coconut.

Jorge:Wait, sorry, quick question.

Jorge:Do the tunnels keep going, or is this like the nest that we saw?

Jorge:Do you guys want to go back and just keep digging to see where they came from?

Tanner:That bit of it kind of ended.

Tanner:There was that one turn that you did not go down.

Noah:Maybe we should go back and investigate that.

Josh:No?

Noah:Yeah.

Jorge:We just keep killing them.

Josh:Aren't we supposed to get more spools?

Jorge:I like to kill them.

Jorge:Fuck that.

Jorge:I like the bugs.

Josh:Right, but if we don't get more spools, everybody dies.

Mike:Like.

Jorge:Oh, yeah.

Josh:Like there was... I understand wanting to go explore the bug cave again.

Jorge:I take the coconut from Amada.

Josh:That's fine.

Josh:My liver's the size of a pea.

Josh:I get drunk just smelling cocktails.

Jorge:By the way,

Jorge:Do you only have that one potion that I gave you, or do you have any other?

Jorge:I look at him a lot.

Josh:Who are you talking to?

Josh:When did you give me a potion?

Jorge:I gave you a potion earlier.

Jorge:Right when we got it.

Jorge:When we woke up at the blood site.

Josh:Did we?

Josh:Did you?

Josh:Oh.

Tanner:He did say it.

Jorge:Well, I... Yeah.

Tanner:It might have gone under the radar.

Josh:Yeah, I didn't hear that.

Josh:No, that's the only potion I had.

Josh:I had no money to purchase anything other than the armor I'm currently wearing.

Josh:So... It would...

Jorge:I gave... I...

Jorge:Glint and the wise don't have a potion either, right?

Noah:Mm-mm.

Jorge:All right, I'll give you... Oh, give it over to Glint.

Mike:uh not that not that you get i mean is this of greater healing perfect

Josh:It would make more sense for me to give the potion to somebody else, because I have inherent healing.

Josh:The problem is if I go down.

Jorge:Give it back to Glint.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:All right, so I will have three now.

Jorge:So I start with five.

Josh:I have 40 gold pieces left over.

Josh:If people had any remaining that they wanted to pull to maybe purchase another one, but I couldn't afford one on my own.

Josh:But I also don't think I need it.

Jorge:I have 50.

Noah:I'm out

Mike:I have 150, but I would like to keep at least 50.

Jorge:No, I also have 150.

Mike:OK.

Jorge:Unless you mean you actually have three 50s.

Josh:If either of you need 40 gold pieces to purchase anything, I'm not using what I currently have.

Mike:I have 150, Josh.

Jorge:150, or do you have 150?

Jorge:So...

Mike:I'm joking.

Mike:It's 150, but I like not answering Josh's question and acting like I'm in the right.

Noah:you you

Mike:Fun.

Josh:I don't know why.

Josh:Why do you like doing that?

Josh:What do you gain out of it?

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:Yes, we rest up.

Jorge:Venture out.

Mike:Yeah, what's the bunking situation?

Tanner:Yeah, I would say that Amada, you definitely have, and Glint, you both already have your own shacks of sort.

Josh:We all already have homes, don't we?

Tanner:Strong and wise, I don't know if you two share one or have separate ones.

Tanner:That's up to you guys.

Noah:I got bunk beds.

Jorge:Who's on the top bunk?

Noah:I got bunk beds.

Josh:Which one's top bunk?

Jorge:I think it's Strong.

Jorge:And his legs tangle over.

Noah:I got bunk beds.

Jorge:Manwise, I really wish you took the top bunk, wise.

Noah:Oh, I'm scared of heights.

Josh:You're riding around on his shoulders, though.

Josh:He's gotta be as tall as the bed is.

Noah:Yeah, but the bed is slightly taller than him, and that's the height I'm scared of.

Jorge:Thank you.

Josh:Gotcha.

Noah:I have the flyball, but I've never cast it.

Tanner:So you all may take a long rest.

Noah:Oh, thank God.

Noah:We haven't played the system in so long, and I haven't been so resource poor or action poor in so long.

Josh:I will.

Tanner:Well, really, you did a good job.

Tanner:By the end of the adventuring day, you had used all of your spell slots.

Tanner:And pretty much towards the end of the last encounter is when you finished it out.

Noah:How...

Josh:That was only two of the recommended six to eight.

Josh:So if you had thrown four more encounters at us, we would have been in trouble.

Tanner:It was three, because there was the foxes, and then there was the tunnel, and then the cave.

Josh:Oh, true.

Jorge:I was at 42 out of 77 hit points.

Tanner:Well, in this system, you regain all of your hit points on arrest.

Noah:I would like to, in this downtime, cast Find Familiar.

Noah:And I would just like to... I'll make a... I'll just make an Irish Wolfhound.

Josh:Thank you.

Tanner:Hmm.

Noah:Like a purebred Irish Wolfhound.

Tanner:Very nice, very nice.

Noah:That's my Familiar.

Noah:It's bigger than me.

Tanner:This is a brief aside, but you guys remember

Tanner:Not Noah, but when you guys came and played at my parents' house last year, Liz's cousin was there.

Tanner:I was speaking to his father yesterday, who has played Dungeons & Dragons for like 30-plus years.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:And...

Josh:Nice.

Tanner:He told me that his group that he plays with about once a month has also switched over to Pathfinder because they like it better than 5e.

Tanner:So... I don't know.

Jorge:Oh, yeah.

Josh:First edition or second edition?

Tanner:I forgot to ask that.

Josh:Because if he's used to 3.5, I could see him moving straight to Pathfinder.

Tanner:But...

Tanner:Yeah, well, they played 3.5, and then they played 5e, and now they play Pathfinder.

Tanner:But yeah, I didn't get, I would assume, second edition, but I don't know for sure.

Tanner:But I thought that was interesting, knowing that a veteran of the game has also decided that Pathfinder is the way to go.

Josh:They're different systems.

Noah:the better system.

Josh:Playing 5e feels different than playing Pathfinder.

Josh:I don't think one's necessarily better than the other.

Noah:It feels inherently a little sillier.

Noah:Like, I feel like the adventure is just like a little more Monty Python.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:Goofier.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:I do think that you get a lot more sad turns in 5e in combat.

Jorge:But I think 5e turns are quicker, so it's less sad.

Jorge:It's just like, oh, we'll be here in five more minutes.

Jorge:Pathfinder, you're like...

Mike:Each turn is like, especially when the enemies have like, I don't know, like, oh, and that was just one of his actions.

Mike:You're like, this guy's going to beat the shit out of us for the next fucking four seconds.

Mike:And then... Yeah.

Jorge:All right.

Tanner:Anyway, morning comes.

Tanner:You all wake up, including Amada.

Josh:It's 3 a.m.

Josh:I'm doing Tai Chi.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:You're once again the first one at the masthead knot, soaking in its sunshine, doing your tai chi and getting ready for the day.

Tanner:A...

Tanner:cart with a repaired or just a new, a different chest that is in better shape is ready for you with three empty spools inside.

Tanner:You are also given one regular health potion.

Tanner:Not greater, but they were able to scrape up a little something for you.

Josh:I was thinking that.

Tanner:And there is a horse to draw the cart.

Jorge:Is he good at it?

Tanner:Kind of... Say that again?

Jorge:Or... Is he good at it?

Jorge:Drawing?

Tanner:The horse... The horse is good at... Oh, probably not.

Josh:Can he draw?

Tanner:He's got hooves.

Tanner:But his name is Frank.

Jorge:So why is he drawing the card?

Jorge:He should just be pulling it, if anything.

Jorge:I'm sorry.

Tanner:Josh, can you mute Jorge?

Jorge:I'll be with some.

Tanner:All right, we can unmute.

Tanner:That was good enough for me.

Josh:Okay, hold on.

Tanner:It was more about sending the message than actually carrying out the punishment.

Josh:If you want, in the future, I can also disable his video so you don't have to look at him anymore.

Noah:Oh, the first thing I do this morning as I walk up, I go, oh, shit, and cast magic missile.

Tanner:Excellent.

Josh:I didn't do that.

Josh:That was me.

Jorge:I'm just power hungry, guys.

Jorge:These are macs.com.

Noah:I cast mage armor on myself.

Josh:immediately while he's casting major armor I'll cast aid which means everybody else gets to increase their max hit points by 5 this is your max hit points for increase by 5

Mike:Pfft

Tanner:Oh, very nice.

Noah:That's big.

Noah:Guys, I'm a tank.

Tanner:That's nasty.

Noah:Got a whole 43 hit points.

Jorge:So these aren't temp, these are max.

Noah:Wow.

Tanner:You're max and current.

Josh:I unfortunately can't cast it on myself, but it's fine for you guys.

Mike:So when you say it's a temp max...

Josh:For the duration of the spell, for the next 8 hours, your maximum hit points are 5 greater than they normally are.

Josh:And you get 5 hit points to heal up your current hit points increased by 5 as well.

Josh:But it doesn't count as temp HP, so if you lose it and then you get healed again in that 8 hours, it will go back up.

Jorge:Thank you.

Noah:a couple different spells.

Josh:Actually, I have the spell slots.

Josh:I'll upcast it.

Josh:You guys, your max increase is by 10, not by 5.

Josh:I don't really have much to use my third level spells on anyway, so I may as well.

Tanner:Whoa.

Noah:Oh my god.

Tanner:That's kind of sick.

Noah:Absolutely monstrous.

Tanner:OK.

Tanner:With that, you are able to embark on your next journey on Ruin's Run.

Tanner:You get back on the road and head north once again towards the ruined spider caves.

Tanner:Once again, the journey goes by relatively smoothly this time.

Jorge:You can go into the case.

Tanner:You do get to the point of where the Kruthik cave was.

Tanner:if you were interested in that at all or you can just continue on forward.

Josh:My vote is to continue.

Josh:We're outside the caves right now, so we're at the point of we could go into the cave and explore the area we didn't last time, or we could continue on towards the Spiagers.

Noah:love to investigate, but I think getting the schools is more important.

Jorge:I can go by myself if you want, but now it doesn't work.

Josh:That's a terrible idea.

Jorge:I'm very fast.

Josh:Your plan is to just run in and take a quick look around and then run back?

Jorge:Yeah.

Noah:Wait, why don't we just send a familiar?

Noah:I'm pretty sure you can see.

Jorge:Does it have that barbering?

Mike:I thought it was 60 feet, but

Noah:I think it looks like you can give it commands at 60 feet, but you can look through its eyes.

Josh:How far away into the cave was the fork?

Tanner:I think they... That fork that you didn't explore was... I'll call it like a thousand feet.

Jorge:Bye.

Noah:The verbiage is a little odd.

Noah:While your familiar is within 100 feet of you, you can communicate with it telepathically.

Noah:Additionally, as a bonus action, you can see through the familiar's eyes and hear what it hears.

Josh:It has to be... I remember this from before the remaster.

Josh:I think all of the telepathic connection stuff, it has to be within 100 meters of you.

Josh:But you can tell it to go further away from you, look around, and come back.

Josh:And then you can telepathically communicate with it to see what it saw.

Jorge:There'd be times we'd send Fitz and then Fitz would not come back and we're like... I can go in.

Noah:You can always do that.

Tanner:Right.

Josh:Although that's new.

Josh:You can cast spells out of your familiar?

Josh:That was always a thing?

Tanner:Whoa.

Tanner:Oh, yeah.

Jorge:I think you can do that.

Mike:That was always a thing.

Mike:Yeah.

Josh:I didn't know that you could do that.

Jorge:Yeah.

Noah:I think it was you.

Jorge:Because some people would shock and grasp.

Josh:That's fun.

Jorge:Oh, I think maybe I've used it a couple times.

Jorge:Bits would fly in with that opportunity attack.

Jorge:Shock and grasp.

Jorge:I killed most of the bugs already.

Noah:Yeah, it's range of touch only, so I think that's the same.

Noah:You can't fireball out of familiar.

Noah:I think it's a range of touch spell.

Josh:We don't know if that's true.

Josh:I'm fine with sending a familiar.

Josh:I feel like this is a waste of time compared to the mission that we were actually given.

Noah:I'll send in my new Wolfhound familiar.

Tanner:The wolfhound goes into the cave.

Noah:I'll send him in.

Jorge:And to come back and tell you what happened.

Noah:I'll give him directions.

Noah:Wait a little bit.

Tanner:You wait, uh... I'll call it ten minutes.

Tanner:And the dog does return.

Tanner:The area that you did not explore actually wasn't all that extensive.

Tanner:What the dog did see was kind of at the back of that area was some tunnel that...

Tanner:would have gone deep, like deeper underground, but it looks like it had collapsed.

Tanner:And also make a perception check for the dog.

Noah:Yes.

Noah:What is a dog stat block?

Tanner:Let's see.

Tanner:There is a dog, I believe.

Tanner:It might be called Hound or something.

Josh:Linkdog.

Tanner:Not Blink Dog for sure.

Josh:Hellhound?

Noah:Hellhound.

Mike:Ugh.

Tanner:There is a wild dog.

Noah:Hound of Archers.

Jorge:Esther?

Tanner:I'm seeing wild dog that has a perception of plus three.

Tanner:But there's something else.

Noah:Is it a Giant space hamster or a miniature Giant space hamster?

Josh:It has a CR of 0, which means it's something that you can summon with Find Familiar.

Josh:It has to be a beast with challenge rating 0.

Josh:Which I don't think there is just, like, regular dog.

Josh:But there is space hamster.

Tanner:Oh, I'm thinking of the Mastiff, which is CR 1-8.

Josh:Neither.

Josh:Just a regular space hamster.

Josh:You can't get a hyper-intelligent one like Boo.

Josh:Sorry.

Tanner:It's not you couldn't do.

Tanner:But we'll allow wild dog stat block.

Josh:Hyena?

Josh:Flying monkey?

Josh:Cranium rat.

Josh:Chimeric baboon.

Tanner:Let's stick with the wild dog with the plus three perception.

Tanner:Oh, actually, you can make this with advantage.

Noah:Sorry, how do I do advantage in this again?

Josh:Polinella the honeybee.

Mike:It has a name.

Josh:Polinella the honeybee.

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:ATV, open parentheses, close parentheses.

Tanner:And do not capitalize it.

Tanner:It's sensitive.

Josh:It is.

Josh:I mean, I could change it to be not case sensitive.

Josh:That would be useful to you guys.

Noah:And then do I do the D20 outside of the parentheses?

Jorge:need to do ADD plus something.

Josh:You don't need any G20.

Jorge:I did it in Dice Ability.

Noah:Oh.

Mike:Okay, ADB parentheses.

Noah:Oh, neato bruto.

Noah:Well, I got a seven.

Tanner:You get no additional information.

Tanner:But it does look like there was once a connection to deeper underground that is not accessible.

Tanner:That is the intel that the dog is able to gather.

Noah:I share this with my compatriots.

Jorge:Let's go.

Jorge:If the dog survived, I could have survived.

Noah:What did you say?

Noah:There.

Josh:I don't even know if I agree with that.

Noah:All right.

Noah:Well, that's one question answered.

Jorge:Let's go.

Josh:Could be a very resilient dog.

Noah:Wolfhound familiar is pretty resilient.

Mike:Or sympathetic.

Mike:If a dog broke into your house, would you kill it?

Mike:If a man broke into your house, would you kill him?

Josh:No to both of those.

Jorge:Yes.

Mike:Exactly.

Josh:Would you?

Jorge:Yeah.

Mike:The man, yeah.

Jorge:Like bare hands.

Noah:You have bare hands?

Mike:I'd rip the dude in half.

Jorge:Yeah.

Mike:From shoulder to hip.

Noah:Just... Literally disarm.

Josh:No.

Mike:They should...

Mike:Josh, can I come up with a custom class that's the monk, but instead of strikes, he just has grapples that do damage?

Mike:I can permanently disarm someone.

Josh:No.

Mike:They can't use two-handed weapons.

Mike:I just rip an arm off.

Josh:Did you just rip their arm off?

Jorge:All right.

Josh:I hate it so much.

Mike:Wait, hold on.

Mike:This might be some good homebrew.

Mike:Josh, can I homebrew this?

Josh:No, you can't homebrew ripping a guy's arm off.

Noah:We continue on.

Jorge:Well, I'm glad to keep going.

Noah:We continue on.

Mike:Tanner, can I homebrew ripping a guy's arm off?

Josh:Also, I'm not the DM.

Josh:Ask Tanner if you can homebrew ripping a guy's arm off.

Tanner:I thought that you were asking for the next campaign.

Tanner:I'm not currently... I'm not... In the...

Josh:He was.

Mike:I was, but I'm asking for... I want this character in every setting, in every system.

Josh:I'm deflecting.

Jorge:thank you

Mike:I want to be ripping people's arms off.

Mike:You pull their nose off and they lose their imprecision.

Josh:Hmm.

Tanner:In the world of EPO, people's shoulder joints are particularly strong.

Tanner:And so you would have a tough time ripping people's arms off.

Mike:That just means that I'm like Goku.

Mike:I'm like Ash Ketchum.

Mike:I relish the challenge to rip the shoulders off of these people.

Jorge:Well, I'm down to keep going, folks.

Noah:We can.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:carry on along Ruin's Run, and right around the point of Nightfall, you come upon...

Tanner:you see there's, you know, you've been following the remnants of an ancient road, but then there's a bit, you see that, like, there's brush that has been very purposefully cleared that kind of veers off of this road, and you know this to be the rest of, like, ruins run, as opposed to the...

Tanner:old road.

Tanner:And you take that just a couple minutes and you come across a small shack.

Noah:Yes.

Tanner:It's like...

Tanner:15 feet by 15 feet.

Tanner:No windows, but there is a door on the shack.

Tanner:And you would also know that within this shack, there is a descent into the cave where the ruined spiders reside.

Josh:I...

Jorge:Are we familiar with how to collect the actual web?

Tanner:You are.

Tanner:It is a bit of a delicate process.

Tanner:As I've mentioned a couple times, the silk is fragile.

Tanner:And so when you collect silk, there are two things to be aware of.

Tanner:One is just collecting the silk without it breaking.

Tanner:And then more difficult than that,

Tanner:is collecting the silk without drawing the attention of any of the spiders crawling upon the various webs.

Tanner:It is a sleight of hand check to spool.

Tanner:Yeah, question?

Jorge:Are there lots of spiders and do they reproduce quickly?

Jorge:TLDR, are we scared of killing?

Tanner:You can kill the spiders.

Tanner:Yeah, the... Inside of the shack is kind of a rough map of part of the cave system.

Tanner:Which I...

Tanner:do not have a visual to show.

Tanner:But what you know is that there are a couple areas kind of nearby where you descend that web is relatively consistently replenished by the spiders.

Tanner:But there are depths of the cave that foragers don't typically go into.

Tanner:that more spiders are.

Tanner:So the areas that the foragers go to, they do tend to kill some spiders if they do draw their attention.

Josh:Are the spiders like regular silk spiders and itsy bitsy?

Josh:Say yes.

Tanner:No, the spiders are pretty big.

Tanner:They do vary in size a little bit.

Tanner:The younger ones are a bit smaller.

Tanner:What you do know also as part of intel for this mission is that some of the spiders are able to absorb weave energy from creatures that they have kind of webbed up.

Jorge:Of course.

Tanner:You can tell this by some of the weave spiders have some patterning on their back that kind of gives a soft blue glow.

Tanner:And those ones have been touched by the weave in a way that they can take magical energy from their prey and use it to bolster their offenses.

Noah:While we're traveling, I will swap out one of my spells.

Noah:There's a wizard feature now that lets me do that.

Tanner:Okay.

Noah:I'll swap out Mage Armor's cast and swap in Misty Step.

Josh:That's so fun.

Tanner:That is kind of neat.

Jorge:Let's dive, boys.

Noah:Good.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:Actually, I just want to test something before I do what I'm going to do next.

Tanner:Does anyone still have the old shmeppy open?

Jorge:Yes.

Josh:I do.

Mike:Yep.

Tanner:Okay, if I'm going to try to apply some fog of War in an area, and you tell me if it does something on your screen.

Josh:You've applied to the Fog of War.

Mike:But I can't see that area.

Jorge:Yes.

Tanner:Okay, so it does block your vision of that part of the map.

Noah:A new shmupy.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:Who's Reekly?

Josh:Is that me?

Josh:You changed my name?

Tanner:Oh, well, I changed you to old when they called you Amada the Old, and then he called you Amada the Wrinkly, so... But...

Josh:Oh.

Josh:Okay, that's fine.

Josh:I just... I'm old.

Josh:I'm slowing the uptake.

Josh:I got it now.

Tanner:So you make your descent.

Tanner:And I'm going to send a shmepi link.

Tanner:We put it in chatter because we're chatting about the shmepi.

Noah:Oh God, this is horrifying.

Mike:Yeah, why would you put it on shmeppier?

Mike:It's only for shmeppiness.

Josh:I mean, I can make a shmeppy channel solely for shmeppy links, but I don't know how useful that would be.

Josh:Yeah, I already hate this so much.

Tanner:All right, so I'll make a couple notes.

Tanner:This is just a map that I found.

Tanner:It is low res.

Tanner:We're going to ignore that.

Tanner:And some of these viney looking things that are in the corners are not actually present.

Tanner:I liked the rest of this map, so that's what we've got.

Tanner:But basically, you descend.

Tanner:This first chamber, there is a web in the picture, but this area had been kind of picked clean very recently by the foragers that were just here.

Tanner:So this first chamber does not have any harvestable silk in it.

Tanner:But there is a path forward.

Noah:Should we form up and head on in, stealth our way in?

Tanner:And before we do that, let me just... Okay.

Jorge:I don't like that.

Tanner:So what would you like to do?

Tanner:No, please come out of the fog of War.

Josh:I'm in the Hog of War and can no longer see my token.

Josh:I liked the order that we had.

Josh:I don't know how well we're going to do Stealth Link, but I'm down to try.

Jorge:I rage, and then I stealth.

Mike:You know why they call it a stealth check?

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:So you can make some stealth checks.

Tanner:And you could move forward.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:because it's a check for your stealth.

Mike:No, it's a check you make silently.

Mike:in the event that your number is low.

Tanner:All right, you guys are absolutely wasting Amada's disadvantaged 22.

Tanner:OK, so.

Tanner:Oh, yeah, that is kind of nasty.

Josh:I'm never going to roll better.

Noah:That's really cool.

Mike:That is crazy.

Jorge:Oh, I actually think I get advantage on it.

Jorge:It's like, well, rage, I have advantage on strength.

Mike:You just use your strength.

Mike:Your strength, bud.

Josh:I would like it done.

Tanner:Alright, so... Alright, so you form up and you quietly begin to move your way forward.

Josh:I just checked.

Josh:Noah's averaging a six and a half on his checks.

Noah:I have never rolled worse as a character than this character.

Jorge:What am I averaging?

Jorge:Well, it counts the advantage, right?

Josh:Yeah.

Tanner:As I remove Fog of War, do we see the Fog of War going away?

Noah:What?

Tanner:Oh, that's so fun.

Josh:We do.

Mike:yes this is

Noah:Yes.

Jorge:Yes.

Josh:I really like the idea that this is how our characters are actually moving.

Tanner:Okay, so you continue on forward through the caves and you come upon a bit of a fork.

Noah:you

Tanner:Oh my gosh, the moving of the tiles is chaotic.

Josh:Like, just constantly bumping into each other's backs as the person in front stops short.

Jorge:I go up.

Mike:what the hell is this

Josh:Oh, you've already decided we're just going up?

Josh:No extra information.

Tanner:All right, you're going up.

Tanner:It is what it is.

Noah:Going up.

Tanner:Going up.

Josh:Can I at least, when we get to the fork, look and listen at the two areas to see if there's any difference between them?

Tanner:You can make a perception check, yes.

Jorge:I guess I'll go this way.

Jorge:Can I use my arrangements?

Josh:What is my perception?

Tanner:23 is good.

Jorge:I'll keep that.

Tanner:There's not a lot going on, but you do believe you hear a little bit of noise coming from this upward direction.

Tanner:It's quieter in the downward direction.

Jorge:I go back down.

Josh:23.

Mike:This.

Tanner:Very well.

Tanner:You start to go downwards instead.

Tanner:Oh my god.

Tanner:Amada, this is disgusting.

Tanner:Do not... It does get pretty dark in this direction.

Josh:I can't see what's happening.

Josh:I just see a little shadow where my token is on the grid.

Tanner:Is there anything we want to do about that?

Josh:I have darkvision, so I can see if you guys... The blind ones want to be led along, but if you would prefer to light a torch, we can do that as well.

Josh:I don't think we're getting out of this without raising the suspicions or attention of the spiders, so...

Noah:I also light a torch.

Mike:Okay.

Josh:I could also just dancing lights if we just want lights around.

Josh:I'm not holding concentration on anything else.

Jorge:Isn't that concentration, though?

Jorge:Alright, but if we start fighting, you're gonna be better if you've said it before.

Noah:I'll pull out a torch.

Josh:Oh, that's fair.

Jorge:Sorry.

Tanner:Very well.

Tanner:So what eventually you come upon is another fork.

Tanner:However, you are able to see with the torch decently into the two directions.

Tanner:So leave yourselves there for a moment, please, as I unveil some more of this map.

Tanner:So you don't really see much difference in this one direction that I've revealed.

Tanner:But in the other direction, you see a bit more concentration of web.

Tanner:And you can just barely see at the edge of the light of the torch from where you're standing what looks to be an egg sac or two.

Josh:Why are you going for the eggs?

Noah:Are they small?

Jorge:I go for the eggs.

Jorge:You guys go for the silk.

Jorge:Then we run.

Jorge:Just start stopping them.

Josh:Then why wouldn't we all come and stop the eggs?

Jorge:Can you teleport?

Mike:What?

Josh:No.

Jorge:Can you teleport?

Jorge:I teleport.

Jorge:Grab aggro at the eggs.

Jorge:Is this enough to fill up three spools or no?

Tanner:You're not sure as of yet.

Jorge:Alright.

Jorge:Who's dexterous?

Josh:Thank you.

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:Then I guess you do the... And I will watch bodyguard, I guess.

Mike:Okay.

Tanner:All right, so we're going to proceed towards the eggs and the more concentrated webbing, yes?

Jorge:Yes.

Mike:Yes.

Noah:Mm hmm.

Tanner:OK.

Mike:For schooling purposes.

Tanner:You luckily do not see any actual spiders out and about in this section.

Tanner:So please, if you could position yourselves where you would be when Glint starts to collect webbing.

Tanner:And Glint, I will place you kind of central to the room to start.

Mike:Webbing guy.

Jorge:I'm going to swap my mall.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:And you can make a sleight of hand check.

Jorge:I'm off a Albert.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:Oh, you had wanted to get a greataxe?

Tanner:That would have been possible if you wanted while you were in the town.

Jorge:It's okay.

Jorge:So I also, I took something that helped me specialize in the mob.

Jorge:So I'd have to respect that.

Noah:Is it possible to Wolfhound familiar?

Jorge:And I don't know the downtime level.

Tanner:Ah.

Jorge:So let's do it later.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:Very well.

Tanner:Yes.

Noah:That's his name now.

Noah:On the board here too, just in case.

Tanner:Oh, yes.

Tanner:He'll be blue.

Noah:Great, thank you.

Mike:Light of hand, you said.

Tanner:All right, I guess we'll call it.

Mike:Hey, no.

Tanner:He doesn't have a name, right?

Tanner:So he's just a hound for the time being.

Jorge:Can anyone give him advantage?

Noah:Give him the help action.

Mike:I can use a lucky point.

Mike:I'll use a lucky point.

Jorge:People also can bless, maybe?

Josh:I can Guidance.

Tanner:Guidance.

Mike:Guidance.

Jorge:Oh, never mind.

Jorge:It's guidance.

Josh:Yeah, I can Guidance.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:Completely forgot I'm a Cleric.

Noah:Oh, before this, I rolled my portent die as a weird gnome, and I got a 14.

Noah:So I have that portent sitting there.

Tanner:Very well.

Mike:uh guidance 17.

Noah:Oh.

Josh:Guidance is another default.

Jorge:And was he helped?

Tanner:17.

Tanner:So you... Excuse me.

Tanner:You go to a particularly dense kind of nexus of web, and there's just a little tab or hook on the spool that you kind of latch onto, and you slowly start to turn the spool in your hands.

Tanner:and you very gingerly make your way around the room filling up this spool, and you do it in a ginger enough way that the eggs go undisturbed.

Mike:Oh, spool, spool.

Tanner:You do kind of exhaust the usable silk in this room, but you successively fill a spool.

Noah:Great.

Jorge:Sweet back out.

Noah:Spool, that's one spool.

Tanner:You just hit the DC to avoid waking up any of the eggs.

Tanner:So that was nifty.

Noah:Good to know.

Mike:Spoolin' and spoolin', guys.

Jorge:Bring it on the other path.

Tanner:OK, so you start to head in this direction.

Tanner:And I need to switch to this.

Mike:Do it.

Tanner:And there starts to be a bit of a bend in the cave system.

Tanner:And you start to see a bit of a blue glow.

Jorge:Should we go up?

Mike:Terrifying, absolutely terrifying

Noah:I take regular spiders over magic spiders.

Josh:Given that it was described that the spiders with the magic glow blue.

Tanner:yeah yeah there was not this blue go coming from that direction

Josh:Okay.

Josh:We heard sounds up as well.

Josh:But no blue glow.

Josh:Maybe it's just regular spiders and not magic spiders.

Josh:Down to try our luck with maybe regular spiders.

Jorge:Go up.

Tanner:I guess we could hold on to our stealth checks from before.

Noah:I mean, we don't have to.

Tanner:I will leave it up to you guys.

Josh:I think everybody should be ruled but me.

Noah:I agree.

Tanner:Would you like to all re-roll or all keep your previous rolls?

Mike:What was the lowest we had?

Mike:I don't like the odds of getting higher than a 9 when people are rolling disadvantage.

Noah:Nine.

Noah:That's fair.

Noah:Yeah.

Noah:Keep it.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:So you start to inch your way towards and Amada, you're hearing just ever so slightly, you hear the pluck of silk every now and then as you head in this direction.

Tanner:As you are progressing,

Tanner:the whys, you, uh, uh, don't realize, but, uh, your, uh, arm, you, uh, graze, uh, a, uh, particularly thick part of webbing, um, and it breaks, um, and there's a bit of a twinge that kind of, uh,

Noah:Well.

Tanner:very faintly reverberates in this chamber.

Tanner:And you hear some faint hissing sounds.

Tanner:And you see two of these large spiders start to descend upon you from above.

Tanner:It's 1030.

Noah:No, I'm so sorry.

Josh:Ooh.

Tanner:We could roll initiative.

Tanner:Yeah, so I'm just going to do a little token rearranging based on the... They would have heard you and started to come a little closer.

Mike:Who knows?

Mike:Yonder window breaks.

Noah:Are we doing Romeo and Juliet?

Mike:Yeah, I can laugh because I rolled twice as high as you.

Josh:Oh great.

Mike:What are the exact Shakespeare lines?

Mike:What?

Mike:Doth under yonder window breaks.

Noah:Isn't it soft what light through yonder window breaks?

Mike:Yeah.

Mike:This is how the spiders talk.

Noah:Juliet is the sun or something?

Tanner:Okay.

Mike:Yeah, this is the spiders talking.

Mike:What?

Noah:They're just writing Shakespeare.

Mike:Oh, I know Sean.

Mike:Yeah.

Mike:Hmm.

Mike:What light through yonder window breaks?

Tanner:So what did we receive?

Jorge:I got a 21.

Josh:What is going on with you?

Noah:I got 18.

Jorge:I was trying to make it appear.

Mike:What?

Jorge:I rolled it in the wrong thing, so I was trying to make it appear in the lower one, but then D0s don't work, so I say D1.

Josh:What would a D0 be?

Jorge:Plus.

Jorge:Minus.

Jorge:A 0.

Josh:What is a zero-sided die?

Jorge:Nothing.

Jorge:I got nothing.

Jorge:Nothing on nothing.

Noah:Got a nothing on nothing.

Mike:I feel like a zero-sided die has a proper mathematical formulation that is indeterminate.

Josh:Yeah, I just don't know what the dice button is supposed to return in that circumstance.

Mike:It is like dividing by zero.

Mike:Yeah, I want to roll a die of zero sides.

Mike:What did I get?

Mike:You asking me that question invites me to explode.

Noah:I got a 20.

Tanner:Yeah, I went through it.

Tanner:And then it was a 6 from Glint and a 4 from Imana.

Tanner:Yeah, I got that correct.

Josh:Yeah.

Mike:You don't have to say it so loud.

Tanner:It was a stupid-ass 6.

Josh:you

Noah:God, who the fuck are these spiders?

Mike:Hey man, fuck you.

Mike:You don't have a character that I can out-perceive.

Jorge:Okay, I have Rich again.

Tanner:The spiders did receive you guys.

Tanner:And actually, they go first.

Noah:Spider ass.

Tanner:I should have mentioned that the process of collecting the silk did take enough time that your previous rage would have ended.

Tanner:Would you have started up another one?

Tanner:Yeah.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:So just note that you have spent another.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:So the spiders are going to go.

Tanner:Oh, I should number them.

Tanner:That would be good, right?

Noah:Oh, God, the speeders.

Tanner:We'll go spider one, spider two.

Tanner:Okay, now I'm ready.

Noah:Oh, no.

Jorge:that break daisy yes

Tanner:The first one is going to shoot a web at you.

Tanner:Yeah.

Noah:um hello

Tanner:That is... Where's Webb?

Tanner:Oh.

Tanner:That is an 18 to hit.

Tanner:you become covered in web, and it restrains you.

Tanner:You are restrained as it shoots web, and then the two of them both will descend upon you.

Tanner:Or...

Tanner:Yeah, for now.

Tanner:The two of them will descend upon you and each make... Well, the one that did the web can only make one ruinous bite.

Tanner:The other one will make two.

Jorge:yeah that's

Tanner:So the first one... Yeah, that's a 23 to hit.

Tanner:So you are going to take 8 points of piercing damage and 9 points of acid damage.

Tanner:And then the other one is going to make 2 ruinous bite attacks.

Tanner:That is a 21.

Jorge:I'm no longer laughing.

Tanner:Ooh, it's going to be 12 piercing and 13 acid.

Tanner:And then the... The final attack is a 17.

Jorge:Let's go back to the other bugs.

Josh:you

Tanner:Okay.

Noah:Oh, God.

Jorge:Pits.

Tanner:That's 10 piercing and 5 acid.

Tanner:It is now your turn.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:You are currently restrained in the Ruin Spider's web.

Tanner:You can make a... You could use an action to make a strength check to attempt to burst the web.

Tanner:It can also be attacked.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:Bonus action.

Jorge:Teleport out of this.

Tanner:Hmm.

Tanner:That is a great question.

Tanner:The question is, does the web follow you like your items would follow you?

Tanner:For now, we'll say yes, you can teleport out of it.

Noah:you

Tanner:But I'm not sure if I will carry that over into next week.

Tanner:I'm going to do a little looking into that.

Jorge:Also, would this have been a grapple check?

Tanner:It would have been a strength check.

Jorge:I don't know.

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:Because I specifically have advantage to get out of grapple checks, which is what I was asking.

Tanner:Well, I think you also have just advantage on strength checks.

Jorge:Oh, you're right.

Jorge:So I will just teleport right there.

Tanner:So... Yeah.

Jorge:And make a swing!

Tanner:Okay.

Jorge:Alright.

Jorge:I'm going to

Tanner:On... Yeah.

Jorge:spider or two to do reverse here now i will do this recklessly i think three okay just sorry let me make sure

Noah:All right.

Tanner:Yeah.

Jorge:I can make an attack against a second creature.

Noah:you you

Jorge:So I can use my cleave with the halberd to make an attack against a second creature.

Jorge:So I'll do it on the other one as well.

Jorge:Sorry, does a 22 hit?

Jorge:That was a mistake.

Tanner:22 hits, yeah.

Tanner:17 does also hit, yeah.

Jorge:Alright, does a 17 hit?

Jorge:Okay, cool.

Jorge:So first one will be 10 chips plus my smite.

Noah:Yeah.

Jorge:So that'll be 23 points for the first guy.

Tanner:Mm-hmm.

Jorge:And then the second one, I subtract the 4 from my strength.

Jorge:Oh, I should have been D10.

Tanner:Oh yeah, go ahead.

Jorge:Ah!

Jorge:Still lower!

Jorge:All right, three points of damage.

Jorge:And then I have a second attack.

Tanner:Yeah, for sure.

Tanner:Is the cleave a once per turn thing, or is that just with all attacks?

Jorge:Yes.

Jorge:They did find that.

Jorge:One team.

Tanner:20 hits.

Jorge:Still number one.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:This is on 2 or 1.

Tanner:Sorry.

Jorge:On one.

Tanner:Okay.

Jorge:No, sorry.

Jorge:The one that hit first last time.

Tanner:You hit harder on number 2.

Tanner:Yeah, you cleaved into 1.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:So, okay, against 2.

Tanner:That hits.

Jorge:Oh.

Tanner:Whoa.

Tanner:8 points.

Jorge:All right.

Noah:you

Jorge:Eight points of damage.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:Uh...

Tanner:Very well.

Tanner:I assume that's your turn.

Tanner:And that brings us to the wise.

Tanner:Oh.

Jorge:Actually, I'm going to use my movement now.

Tanner:They will take attacks of opportunity.

Jorge:Oh, I forgot this setting.

Jorge:Can I not do that?

Jorge:I forgot that was a step.

Tanner:You can stay where you are, yes.

Jorge:I forgot I could do a step.

Noah:Alright.

Noah:Uh, where's Margo?

Tanner:Yeah, yeah, go ahead.

Noah:Uh, sorry, which one of these guys is looking vaguely hurt?

Tanner:He hit Spider 2 more firmly.

Tanner:He just kind of cleaved a little bit into Spider 1.

Noah:Okay, then I will, uh...

Noah:Target Spider-1.

Noah:And I will once again, for real this time, cast Phantasmal Force.

Tanner:Okay.

Noah:He has to make an intelligence saving throw.

Noah:DC 17.

Tanner:Ooh.

Tanner:Oh, boy.

Tanner:Does Phantasmal Force have any restrictions on the required intelligence of the creature, or is that something else?

Noah:I think that's insane.

Tanner:That must be something else, if it doesn't say anything like that.

Jorge:Some of them, yes.

Josh:It just is a creature you can see within range.

Jorge:Some of them are like he doesn't work on Intelligence 3.

Tanner:OK, so I got a 14.

Noah:Then I will...

Noah:plant in its mind an image that on the other side of the room, there's a second, even bigger, stronger Strong, who is attacking his eggs, and he's just cleaving through the eggs on the far opposite side of the room.

Tanner:Okay.

Noah:And also, he's on fire.

Tanner:Very well.

Tanner:It sees that.

Tanner:The spider itself is on fire.

Noah:No, the bigger, stronger, strong is on fire, and it's going to spread to everything.

Tanner:Oh.

Noah:It's not spreading yet, but it's going to.

Tanner:Okay.

Jorge:That just has an afterthought.

Jorge:You're like, and you're burning from your own fire.

Jorge:That's just so funny.

Tanner:Uh...

Jorge:You can just append that to anything you see.

Jorge:And you're on fire.

Noah:A little tea just came out my nose.

Tanner:Would you like to end your turn?

Noah:I will command...

Noah:Wolfhound familiar to run up beside Nope.

Noah:Oh my god.

Noah:I will command Wolfhound familiar to run up next to Glint and just give him the help action.

Tanner:Very well.

Tanner:Alright, that brings it to Glint.

Noah:Glint, you get advantage on something.

Mike:Nice.

Mike:So the hound is going to lick my elbow and I'm going to be like, yeah, you're right.

Mike:And then shoot straighter.

Jorge:It points like a shooting gun.

Noah:Exactly.

Josh:It's a pointer that's a kind of dog for hunting.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:That's what I'm saying.

Jorge:Yeah, it's going to point.

Noah:This is a wolf.

Noah:It's going to be like, ooh, wolf.

Noah:That's how this sound familiar speaks.

Noah:Going to give him advantage.

Josh:Oh, it's a Pokemon?

Noah:Yeah, but there's no, like, fun peek-a-peek-a behind it.

Noah:It's just like, wolf.

Josh:Not sure.

Mike:I forgot to mention, I'm going to be using my bonus action to cast Hex on Spider 1.

Mike:And then I'm going to roll to attack, and I've got a 24 on the attack.

Tanner:yeah you've hit yep carry on 10 damage nice totally epic yeah for sure holy moly

Mike:10 damage to Spider 1.

Mike:And then I'm going to take him again.

Mike:27 this time.

Jorge:Thank you.

Mike:I am insatiable.

Noah:Oh.

Mike:14 damage.

Tanner:Indeed.

Tanner:Nice.

Mike:He makes no sounds, even though he only shot twice.

Tanner:Yep.

Josh:Bless.

Tanner:Are you holding your ground in your current position?

Mike:Yeah, I got a good idea of the situation.

Tanner:Okay, then it's a modest turn.

Tanner:It's always blessed.

Jorge:I just realized, guys, we are aware of at least one other spider.

Josh:Always bless.

Tanner:And what of your position?

Josh:Yeah, no, I like it.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:That brings us to... That brings us to the spiders.

Tanner:Spider 2...

Tanner:Sees another version of the Strong on fire and destroying eggs.

Jorge:I think he did that to the one that was healthier.

Jorge:It was to the healthiest one.

Tanner:No, I thought... Oh, did you do it to the one that was less damaged?

Tanner:I missed that.

Noah:I did it to the one that was less damaged.

Tanner:Okay, that would be Spider-1.

Tanner:That's my bad.

Noah:I wanted the less damaged one to run away.

Tanner:Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.

Jorge:Attack of opportunity.

Jorge:I'm not going to.

Tanner:Hold on, hold on.

Jorge:I should.

Josh:Do you have a better thing to use your reaction on?

Josh:If it runs away...

Jorge:All right.

Jorge:Attack of opportunity.

Tanner:Yeah, it will head in that direction.

Jorge:25.

Tanner:Yes, you may.

Tanner:25 hits.

Tanner:9.

Jorge:Just bear in mind I can't cleave on this.

Tanner:It takes the hit.

Tanner:Does doing damage to it give it anything with the Phantasmal Force?

Tanner:Does that have an effect?

Noah:Let me see here.

Noah:The target can use its action to examine the phantasm with an intelligence check.

Noah:Target treats the phantasm as if for real, interacting with the phantasm.

Josh:No.

Tanner:Okay.

Josh:Hitting it doesn't allow it to make a save.

Tanner:Very well, so it skitters off in that direction.

Tanner:Those of you who are not privy to this illusion see it run off, shoot a bit of web just at the wall, and just try to start biting down on the air.

Josh:Nice.

Tanner:The other one...

Jorge:So, just for you to enter, it can take the study action to try to figure it out.

Jorge:That'll be against the DC of the spell save.

Tanner:Yeah, I think for this first turn it would have just tried to attack.

Jorge:Okay.

Tanner:It's not a very smart creature.

Jorge:Makes sense.

Tanner:But who knows what it'll do next.

Jorge:And it can take damage from the thing, in case it tries biting down on something on fire.

Tanner:Oh, right, it could do a d6 of damage.

Tanner:Is that a thing?

Tanner:Or did they get rid of that?

Josh:On Noah's turn, it deals 2d8 psychic damage if it's within 5 feet.

Jorge:Oh, it also says, while affected by the spell, it treats it as if it's a real, rationalized thing.

Tanner:OK.

Jorge:For example, if it steps through a bridge and falls.

Jorge:Oh, my God.

Noah:Yeah.

Tanner:All right.

Tanner:For the time being, it's distracted by the illusion.

Tanner:And Spider 2 is going to act.

Tanner:You attacked recklessly.

Jorge:I did.

Tanner:So I think it's just going to make two bites against you with advantage.

Tanner:The first one is a 21.

Tanner:That's going to be 9 points of piercing, halved to 4.

Jorge:Get it.

Tanner:And 8 points of acid damage.

Tanner:And with its second attack... Yeah, that's a 26.

Tanner:That's 6 points of piercing damage.

Tanner:and 11 points of acid.

Jorge:I'm very blessed.

Tanner:But that's it for the ruined spiders, and it is your turn.

Jorge:Cool.

Jorge:I will bonus action.

Noah:Okay.

Jorge:I'll just call Warrior of the Gods and spend 5d12d.

Jorge:I have a 32.

Tanner:For sure.

Tanner:Excuse me.

Josh:No.

Jorge:I actually have no love of blood.

Jorge:Now I will strike at it.

Tanner:Damn, that's hefty.

Tanner:What, you get like a pool?

Josh:You have a D4.

Jorge:Yeah, I have a pool and I just use the whole pool.

Tanner:That's sick.

Jorge:I can drop and draw a weapon, right?

Tanner:You can do that now, yeah.

Jorge:Is that going to break?

Noah:you

Jorge:Am I standing on web?

Jorge:I'm scared of breaking.

Tanner:Uh, no, you could drop the halberd here.

Tanner:That's okay.

Jorge:Cool.

Jorge:I'm going to smack it with the mall.

Jorge:And I will do this right.

Jorge:Great weapon master.

Jorge:I'll try that.

Josh:You have a D4.

Josh:You're blessed.

Tanner:The 21 hits.

Jorge:Perfect.

Mike:Thank you.

Jorge:It adds 10 for Great Weapon Master, I believe.

Tanner:Yeah.

Jorge:Yeah, cool.

Tanner:Pretty hefty.

Jorge:And you will need to make a con saving throw, DC 16.

Noah:Thank you.

Tanner:Okay, let me take some damage first.

Tanner:This spider is bloodied.

Jorge:Fantastic.

Tanner:And I make a con save.

Tanner:I'm fairly certain I'm going to succeed.

Tanner:What was the DC?

Jorge:16.

Tanner:Yeah, I got a 19.

Jorge:All right.

Tanner:It holds.

Tanner:You have another attack, I believe.

Tanner:20 hits!

Jorge:Plenty!

Jorge:Cool.

Jorge:That was also reckless.

Tanner:Great weapon master.

Jorge:Yes.

Jorge:Oh, sorry, yes.

Jorge:Dreads you three points of damage.

Tanner:Nice!

Jorge:And when he was fighting the bugs, he was laughing a lot.

Tanner:If that is all, we move on to the whys.

Jorge:This time he's like, I've been taking all that damage.

Jorge:Knock on and collect music.

Noah:All right, so I think it just does, on my turn, it just deals damage to this guy if it was just there.

Noah:So I think he just takes 2d8 psychic damage as he is fighting an on fire, bigger, stronger, strong.

Tanner:Yeah, the illusory strong takes a hefty swing at him and he takes the 2d8 damage.

Mike:Thank you.

Tanner:You can roll that.

Noah:All right, so top of my turn, he takes 11 points of psychic damage

Noah:Bigger Strong does that.

Tanner:Okay.

Noah:And then on Little Spider, I'll just... We'll just do a good old... What's this spell called?

Noah:Oh god.

Noah:Oh god, I've lost everything.

Noah:We'll just do a Mind Sliver.

Noah:So he has to make an Intelligence save.

Tanner:Sure.

Josh:Spiders are famously very smart.

Noah:Famously.

Tanner:What's your DC?

Tanner:I'm not even sure I can succeed.

Noah:17.

Tanner:It gets a 13?

Noah:It fails, so it will take 2d6 psychic damage and subtracts 1d4 from the next saving throw it makes before the end of my next turn.

Tanner:This was against the Phantasmal one or the one that's closer by?

Tanner:Okay, okay.

Noah:The one that's closer by.

Noah:Spider 2.

Josh:Did you do your phantasmal force damage as well to Spider-1?

Tanner:He did that.

Noah:Yes.

Tanner:That was the 11.

Tanner:And then now you could roll... Nice!

Noah:This was seven points of psychic damage against that guy.

Mike:I'm going to kill.

Tanner:It's not looking good.

Noah:And I will have Hound run up and give strong help this time.

Tanner:Okay.

Noah:So you have advantage on your next attack.

Tanner:Cool.

Tanner:That brings us to Glint.

Tanner:Very well.

Mike:uh i got a d4 on my attack roll spider two right or should i be hitting spider one i know but i thought it was like distracted by something in the corner if i hit it with a ray is it gonna is it gonna be like it's not going to okay i'll move up then oh

Tanner:Yeah, who are you targeting?

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:Well, Spider-1 has your hex on it, but it is distracted.

Tanner:Yeah, I just wanted to make sure you were aware.

Jorge:It's not going to break.

Noah:No, it's fighting an invisible on-fire guy.

Mike:I'll move up to here, I guess.

Mike:Yeah, that's fine.

Mike:Yeah, I'm still near Amada.

Mike:All right, so this is Eldritch Blast to Spider 1.

Mike:28.

Mike:Good.

Tanner:28.

Tanner:Yeah, that's going to hit.

Tanner:Frick.

Mike:I deserve it.

Mike:15 damage.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:15 damage.

Tanner:I believe that makes him bloodied.

Tanner:22 hits.

Mike:and for the second beam 22 and 13 damage this time he's just yelling

Tanner:Oh, yeah.

Tanner:Nice.

Tanner:Great.

Tanner:Very calm, cool, and collected.

Tanner:Amada, you may go.

Josh:Are the spiders undead?

Tanner:You don't know for sure, but they don't appear to be undead.

Josh:Okay, that's what I just had to ask.

Josh:I would like to toll the dead on spider two.

Tanner:Very well.

Tanner:I'll make wisdom.

Tanner:Yes?

Josh:Yes.

Josh:Yes, please.

Tanner:I got a four.

Josh:That's super failure.

Josh:He dies.

Tanner:He does not die, but he's close.

Josh:2d 12 necrotic 12 points of damage fine i accept your terms yeah

Tanner:Will that be all?

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:The spiders are going to go.

Tanner:Spider 1.

Tanner:is being affected by the illusion.

Tanner:However, he is also aware of you guys.

Tanner:So what he's going to do is he's going to use his bite attack on the illusion, but he is going to send a web to help his dying spider friend.

Tanner:So I'm going to shoot a web at Strong as Spider-1.

Jorge:and it's time and weather

Noah:Oh no.

Tanner:That is an 18.

Tanner:So you get restrained by Web.

Tanner:And then Spider 2 is going to make two attacks against you.

Tanner:I guess it would have already had advantage anyway, but it has advantage.

Tanner:That is a 23.

Jorge:yeah yeah gauge

Tanner:Ooh, 12 points of piercing damage.

Tanner:And 9 points of acid damage.

Noah:you you

Tanner:And then the second attack.

Tanner:Yeah, that's a 22.

Tanner:That'll be 8 points of piercing.

Tanner:And 6 points of acid.

Tanner:And it is your turn.

Tanner:That's it for the spiders.

Jorge:Restrained?

Jorge:Can I attack while restrained?

Jorge:I don't... Can I teleport?

Tanner:Yeah, you have disadvantage, but I believe you can attack.

Jorge:It's okay if you want to change the world.

Jorge:I can.

Tanner:I'll let you teleport.

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:I will teleport over.

Jorge:Here.

Jorge:And then I will take a strike.

Jorge:Actually, no.

Jorge:I'll just take a strike.

Jorge:I mean, he looks hurt.

Noah:you you

Jorge:I'm not going to do this recklessly.

Jorge:I'm just going to be a normal person.

Jorge:Do a strike.

Jorge:This age.

Jorge:Next one.

Jorge:Thirteen.

Tanner:A 13 does not hit, unfortunately.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:18 does.

Jorge:18.

Tanner:Okay.

Jorge:Cool.

Jorge:36.

Jorge:Sorry.

Jorge:So I will use my Marshall weave.

Jorge:I'll be 36 plus, I'll add the 2d4.

Jorge:51 points.

Tanner:Oh, yeah, you use you smoosh his carapace.

Jorge:and i'm restrained and that's i can't believe or anything

Mike:You smushed his piss.

Tanner:Come on.

Tanner:OK.

Mike:Damn, he's smushing piss.

Tanner:Wise, it is your go.

Noah:Uh, yes.

Noah:So, top of my turn, is this spider still in combat with my illusion?

Tanner:Yeah, it is.

Tanner:Yeah.

Noah:Then I'll take 2d8 damage from the invisible on fire.

Noah:10 points of psychic damage.

Tanner:For sure.

Tanner:Nice.

Tanner:Okay.

Noah:And now I'll use my mage's weave web to cast a second level magic mistake.

Noah:So that's 44 plus 4.

Jorge:It's like using, like, a chicken egg fried on rooster.

Noah:I rolled max damage!

Josh:Nice.

Tanner:Uh, that's crazy.

Tanner:That is, it had 20 hit points.

Jorge:That's fucking crazy.

Tanner:That is nuts.

Josh:Nice.

Tanner:Way to go.

Noah:I rolled so poorly for this character.

Noah:Consistently.

Noah:I just raise my... I raise the weave web dangling off the top of my hat and I smack it and it just goes like... And as it spins around, magic missiles just shoot out.

Tanner:Excellent, excellent.

Tanner:Yes, you expend some of the additional weave energy that your weave web was able to take in beyond your spell slot magic.

Tanner:shoot it out at the spider, and it is accosted on all sides.

Tanner:You see it's fighting the fake strong.

Tanner:It's trying to protect an illusory egg sac, and these missiles come in and just hit it all over the place, and it falls with several breaks in its spidery armor.

Noah:Wow.

Jorge:I believe that's the odds of that happening, which is funny.

Josh:no it's 50 50. nice

Tanner:That was awesome.

Tanner:It had 30 hit points.

Tanner:You rolled 10 damage and then 20 damage.

Tanner:So there you go.

Tanner:And shoot, that feels like a good point to call it for this evening, doesn't it?

Noah:Ooh.

Tanner:At 11.05.

Tanner:Ruin spiders down.

Tanner:One out of three spools created.

Noah:Rude.

Jorge:Why didn't they just send us two empty crates?

Noah:Spools.

Josh:We still need three?

Josh:We already got one.

Tanner:I said one out of three.

Josh:No, no, no.

Tanner:I said one out of three created.

Josh:We got one from the box.

Noah:And we recovered one.

Tanner:Oh.

Josh:That doesn't count?

Tanner:Well, they sent you with a new empty crate such that you could get three more.

Tanner:If you're gonna...

Mike:Yeah.

Josh:So we shouldn't have gone back, is what you're saying.

Mike:Yeah.

Mike:Yeah, if you come back, they take whatever you have and they go, go get three.

Mike:Once you get three, you'll be done.

Jorge:Why did you give us two boxes, those bastards?

Jorge:I hate working for the man.

Jorge:We should revolt.

Jorge:To be fair, this is what a manager would do.

Josh:Please.

Noah:Against the only society in existence.

Jorge:They'd go, oh, great, thanks for getting this.

Jorge:Can you get three more?

Tanner:It's like if you're already going, you might as well.

Noah:Wow.

Noah:You were so good at getting probably.

Mike:You did such a good job.

Mike:Yeah.

Jorge:Well, it's a good thing these things reproduce so much.

Jorge:They're like lobsters, you know?

Jorge:That's why we should try to get the eggs.

Jorge:We should be like, no, no, let them grow.

Mike:Honestly, that's what I was thinking when I was in here.

Mike:I was like, man, if those fucking spider webs are so useful, we should kind of be like, we should be milking them like we do to those crabs.

Noah:A truly stunning amount of low numbers from Noah tonight.

Mike:Hold on, Jorge's face just fucking killed me.

Tanner:Noah, this chart is crazy for you.

Mike:You've never seen the milking arrays of the horseshoe crab?

Jorge:I was the only one who rolled an 18.

Mike:I'm going to Google horseshoe crab milking because it's the best way to describe it.

Josh:I have, because it's good for vaccines, but I don't...

Noah:Don't do it.

Noah:I don't understand.

Noah:I mean, I guess it makes sense for this character, but what is happening?

Josh:Well, can I also say, because Jorge attacks so many times and because he has advantage, he rolled an order of magnitude more dice than everybody else.

Jorge:Does this have to count?

Josh:Noah rolled 9 d20s.

Josh:Jorge rolled 58.

Tanner:How does it handle advantage rolls?

Tanner:Does it just use the higher result?

Josh:No, it records both.

Josh:The point is just to... Because you guys were complaining that the die spot isn't fair.

Josh:So I built it in to record the result of every d20 that is rolled.

Tanner:Yeah.

Josh:I'm sorry.

Mike:interesting who who

Noah:Josh, obviously it's skewed towards me rolling a 14.

Josh:It's actually hard-coded specifically that if you roll, there's a 70% chance it's a 14.

Jorge:50-50.

Tanner:So, Noah's average was 7.4?

Josh:I mean like over the long run we're all about on average except for Jorge who is underperforming um

Tanner:That's so bad.

Jorge:Well, I've rolled enough that I started averaging.

Jorge:I started getting close to the true average of 10.5.

Tanner:Yeah, yeah.

Jorge:I started converging.

Noah:Jorge has rolled the most natural twos.

Jorge:No.

Jorge:that is the worst number to roll because at least at least one gets your hero

Tanner:Oh, Mike.

Tanner:Jesus.

Mike:What?

Mike:Oh, you don't like crab milking?

Tanner:I didn't want that image.

Josh:If it helps, I don't think that's milk.

Mike:You know when you design something horrific in a video game, like a farm in Minecraft, you're like, wow, this seems really like taking the fucking action out of this resource obtaining.

Mike:We do that in real life.

Mike:We have crab milking operations.

Josh:I'm pretty sure that's blood.

Mike:It is blood.

Jorge:quick you know what we should do guys is we should try to take egg sac and raise in the city

Josh:Better.

Josh:Why?

Josh:I don't know.

Mike:you start milking the spiders.

Josh:It's been hundreds of years at this point.

Josh:I feel like somebody has already had that idea and maybe there was a reason that we don't do that and we leave them in this cave that's a day's journey away.

Mike:These aren't truffles, Josh.

Mike:We can fucking handle a cage full of spiders.

Mike:They're not only to be found by serendipity or with a sufficiently complex wolfhound.

Josh:It's like in Helldivers with the Terminids, where the Terminids are being raised because their blood is oil, but also they go on an uprising and murder people.

Tanner:And I don't think I like everybody poking holes in my plots.

Noah:Oh.

Josh:I just feel like it would be bad to have a pen of man-eating, murderous, spell-casting spiders just near the one place that people are alive on the whole planet.

Jorge:So you're telling me... So you're telling me... You don't have to get saved to grab an egg sack filled of magical man-eating spiders, letting it hatch, and assuming they're very tiny small spiders, run around in the last city of man.

Josh:Yeah, I can't possibly see how that could be a problem.

Jorge:Yeah, yeah.

Jorge:Actually, think about it.

Jorge:The cave is actually very convenient.

Josh:Yeah, it's not that far away.

Josh:The spiders stay in the cave, and we just walk in, we stab a few, we take their stuff, and we leave.

Josh:Now...

Tanner:Ruins run!

Tanner:... Theoretically, the travel can be perilous.

Josh:Yeah, I just, maybe having a stockpile of zero days worth of the silk for the area to keep going is not great from an operational perspective.

Noah:rules well.

Mike:Josh is going to become the Unabomber in this setting.

Tanner:So that's kind of the risk factor there, is just going out into the world is frequently a risk.

Jorge:I.

Josh:What?

Mike:It's just enemy of industrialized society because we're like, we figured out a way to isolate the crabs, or not the crabs, the spiders, and harvest the little webs at rates not seen before.

Mike:And Josh is like, this can't be.

Mike:This is a bastardization.

Mike:This is ruining.

Mike:Because then you no longer have the treks, which are like a part of the culture.

Mike:So culture starts breaking down because technology is advancing.

Mike:And then Josh's character gets a cabin outside one of the knots and is just trying to fucking kill everyone.

Jorge:Well, also, Tanner, I would assume the way I saw it, this was that if people harvest at normal time schedule, they don't need to actually fight any of the spiders, as you're saying.

Jorge:And then it's just a relatively easy thing.

Jorge:But then those other bugs fucked it up.

Tanner:Yeah, you guys are having to delve beyond a typical mission because they had just come and harvested.

Tanner:Usually they can get, unless they perform poorly, they can get from that first bit of chamber enough to fill a crate, but they just did that two days ago.

Noah:I'm sorry, guys.

Noah:I got to hop off.

Noah:Got a family thing.

Tanner:No sweat.

Mike:reasonable.

Josh:You.

Tanner:It's late.

Jorge:I may not be able to do next week.

Jorge:I probably will.

Tanner:Whoa.

Jorge:From Sunday to... I might not be able to play next week.

Noah:Yeah, I got to go.

Noah:Let me know about next week.

Noah:Sorry, guys.

Tanner:Alright.

Jorge:I can maybe play... I probably feel bad about a Friday.

Mike:Okay.

Jorge:Saturday.

Jorge:Probably hard.

Tanner:Might be tough.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:Actually, I definitely can't do that weekend.

Jorge:You can play without me.

Tanner:So... Perhaps...

Jorge:I can give some of my character sheet and make it play strong.

Jorge:He's a very simple character, but... I don't want to throw your campaign behind because we have...

Tanner:Well, so what I will say is my plan is to go another two weeks and then kind of end it there for now.

Tanner:And then maybe down the road, we'll take a couple weeks break from the new campaign and jump back here for a couple sessions.

Jorge:Yeah, I can give strong to someone.

Jorge:I think that if someone doesn't mind, you two don't mind playing.

Josh:I mean, if that's what you want to do, I can do that.

Tanner:We could...

Mike:I think it's fine to have.

Josh:I don't know if that necessarily is.

Jorge:Yeah, so I don't mind.

Jorge:I got to go to Florida for my folks, and I'm only going to be there three days.

Jorge:I feel bad taking one of their nights, but I don't want to slow this thing down.

Mike:A break for a week?

Mike:I don't think it messes any timing, does it?

Tanner:Yeah, I think that we probably could afford to break a week because I'm planning two more sessions and then that still leads us up to being in Denver if we're still looking to start the new campaign in Denver.

Tanner:So I think we do have leeway to let everybody play in it in two weeks.

Jorge:Because if we don't play next Monday, so 28th, we can do the... Yeah.

Tanner:The 4th and the 11th, you know, theoretically.

Tanner:And then... Sometime in the week.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:Play in person.

Jorge:Okay.

Tanner:Yeah, whatever.

Tanner:So let's do that.

Jorge:Okay.

Tanner:Let's... That'll just give me more time to pull myself together anyway, so... Probably good.

Jorge:Sounds good.

Jorge:Uh, great.

Tanner:Alright, well, shoot, thanks for playing again, guys.

Jorge:Great campaign.

Jorge:This is a great campaign.

Jorge:Sorry for being a pain.

Jorge:But, see you at the campaign.

Tanner:No, you're not being a pain.

Tanner:You're allowed to live your life, so... Oh!

Jorge:I meant more about, uh, the horse drawing, but... I don't know why that was... That one really... That was just really interesting.

Josh:I think maybe we should.

Mike:No, that's... Jorge, that's... Yeah, no, Jorge, I don't... This is not...

Jorge:A horse drawing it with the paint.

Tanner:I feel like Josh takes a lot of flack as our Dungeon Master, so I could take a bad one.

Mike:This is not going to set any precedence.

Mike:We're not going to apologize at the end of sessions for any conduct near the horse-drawn cart because the collective hours I would have had to spend in back pay for doing that, it'd be like 12 hours straight of me apologizing.

Tanner:For making bad puns.

Mike:Oh, sorry, I called it a big, shitty-ass brain that shit out a human and then...

Josh:I think that's fine.

Josh:I'm okay with that.

Josh:If we wanted to maybe as a group apologize for all that we've done.

Mike:I mentioned that the decrepit prisoner that had light experiments done on it looks like salad fingers in my head.

Mike:And then I got to apologize for that at the end of the sessions.

Josh:Actually, really, if the problem is having to do it at the end of the session, you could do it in the moment as well.

Mike:We have to

Josh:Oh, actually, you know what would be most genuine?

Jorge:Doesn't seem genuine.

Jorge:You'd be too busy laughing.

Josh:Just shut up in the first place.

Josh:If you think a stupid thing, and then you're about to vocalize that stupid thing, just don't vocalize the stupid thing.

Mike:unfortunately unfortunately not I'm attempting to build more stupid things to my character I think honestly the old man flavors very well combined with the commander but being an old man is so funny because again like

Josh:Then you won't have to apologize.

Josh:Just be a changeling that oscillates between child and old man.

Tanner:I've done it.

Mike:I don't know.

Mike:If you flub out of diplomacy, you're like, oh, sorry.

Mike:I'm in my own age.

Mike:I've gotten much more blunt and brusque with dealing with people.

Jorge:We could also be a really bossy child, be a commander, and then be like, all right, too young to know how to talk to people.

Mike:Let me see.

Josh:Then you get the best of both worlds.

Mike:Where's PF2E Changeling?

Jorge:Also, I asked Gemini during the session about, what is the expected output of a die of size zero?

Josh:It's nothing.

Jorge:It got, it's just like, it's conceptionally impossible, you stupid idiot.

Josh:It's not possible.

Josh:I agree.

Josh:It's conceptually impossible, you stupid idiot.

Jorge:You guys are wrong.

Jorge:If you have nothing to roll, it gives you nothing.

Jorge:Zero.

Jorge:Done.

Josh:What's not... What do you think one divided by zero is?

Jorge:I win.

Jorge:No, but it's zero divided by zero.

Josh:Okay, what do you think zero divided by zero is?

Jorge:So what you do is you factor out the zero.

Jorge:You multiply that back over and you get the zero.

Josh:What do you mean factor out the zero?

Josh:Why are you multiplying by zero?

Josh:Where did that come from?

Jorge:Because I factored it out.

Jorge:I have to multiply it back at the end.

Josh:I don't understand.

Jorge:So, Josh, what happens is, you know how 0 divided by 0, you're asking me, right?

Jorge:I could factor out the 0, and then I just get 1 divided by 1 times 0.

Josh:You know, you're lucky that I have error handling in my dice bot.

Jorge:Then I get 1 times 0, which then gives me 0.

Jorge:So that's why that's mathematically.

Jorge:You get what I'm saying?

Jorge:Because I factor out the zero from the zero.

Jorge:All right.

Josh:No.

Jorge:Adios.

Tanner:Night.

Mike:Adios.

Josh:See ya.