2026-1-20 — Akasha

Arctos:Oh, you guys both joined at the same time.

Gamemaster:Hello?

Arctos:Are you guys hanging out without me?

Gamemaster:Yes.

Benny:No, I don't think it's short.

Benny:I was just talking about it's just you guys.

Arctos:What?

Benny:That's all I said, honestly.

Gamemaster:He's lying to you.

Gamemaster:We were hanging out with you.

Arctos:My volume wasn't turned up enough, so all I heard from Mike was...

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:You got the gist of it.

Arctos:How are y'all?

Gamemaster:About?

Benny:Good.

Arctos:I'm a little annoyed.

Arctos:I was playing TFT, and I was doing a comp, and then three different assholes were holding the same champion I needed, so there weren't any cards in the pool, those motherfuckers.

Arctos:Other than that, I'm pretty good.

Gamemaster:Are you falling back into the league pipeline?

Gamemaster:Is that what's happening?

Arctos:No, no, no, no, no, no.

Arctos:I've dabbled with the TFT...

Arctos:game and not come back to League before.

Arctos:I trust myself.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Arctos:The reason I don't play League anymore is I will never be as good as I used to be.

Arctos:And I'm too competitive to ping it back up.

Arctos:That's why.

Arctos:No, no, no.

Gamemaster:You wouldn't be, like, content to just hang out in silver or something?

Gamemaster:And then, no?

Arctos:I've made it to Diamond before.

Arctos:I know I will not be Diamond.

Arctos:I also, when I tried playing it like three or four years ago, my problem was I knew what I should be doing.

Arctos:My muscles were unable to do it at the speed I wanted.

Gamemaster:Right.

Arctos:And it's really hard understanding the game at a macro level, but performing at a poor micro level.

Arctos:So then I get teammates...

Arctos:Who are garbage.

Arctos:Who are really genuine human garbage.

Arctos:But they're on par with my micro.

Arctos:Not my macro.

Arctos:So it's a pain in the ass.

Arctos:So then I have to play jungler.

Arctos:And then when I play jungler.

Arctos:Everyone fucking hates you.

Arctos:No matter what.

Arctos:So yeah.

Gamemaster:And so it's just not worth getting back into that.

Benny:Oh yeah, yeah.

Arctos:Yeah, because I can win as a jungler.

Johnny:Cool.

Arctos:I understand the macro enough.

Arctos:Hey, I like the touch-up.

Arctos:Now, I understand the micro, but the macro, I just... I used to be able to play mid and then absolutely steamroll, regardless of what my teammates did.

Arctos:But now I have to be more jungler because that's more of a macro role.

Arctos:And then, you know...

Gamemaster:Well, I mean, probably for the best that you don't get into League anyway.

Benny:you you

Gamemaster:Like, regardless of whether or not, how angry you'd get at them.

Arctos:It's not good for my mental health.

Johnny:I've never heard anyone say they enjoy League.

Johnny:I've only heard them say it makes them angry beyond all belief.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Arctos:I also can't tell if I was so angry because I played League when I was going through puberty.

Arctos:But I know it's a mixture of both.

Arctos:Like, I know the game is anger-inducing, and that I was also the most angry I ever would be in my entire life.

Benny:There are too many games where in order to do well, you have to have a begrudging...

Arctos:And I was like, you piece of fucking... I was so mad.

Arctos:I was so mad.

Arctos:And then I was like, it's a game.

Arctos:Why am I getting so angry?

Arctos:And then I'm like, well, it's because I'm playing with fucking idiots.

Arctos:I wish I could go to their houses and give them dumb hats, alright?

Arctos:But, you know, it's fine.

Gamemaster:Ow.

Arctos:It's fine.

Benny:Because you'll hate everyone on your team almost instantly, either because they're fucking annoying and dumb and saying dumb shit, or because they're bad.

Benny:So it's either they're doing well and then they're saying stuff to you and they're like, you fucking moron, look at this score.

Benny:Can we just win?

Benny:Or they're below you and they're doing poorly and you're like, look at this fucking idiot.

Benny:So you just hate everyone.

Benny:If you're at the top of the leaderboard, everyone's a moron.

Arctos:And then if they're better than you... Yeah.

Benny:Yeah.

Arctos:And if they're better than you, you're like, you suck.

Benny:And if they're better than you, they talk shit to you for doing poorly.

Arctos:Yo.

Benny:So it's like you hate everyone immediately in the game.

Arctos:No, no, no, no.

Arctos:You're unfamiliar with my game, Mike.

Arctos:I'm talking shit even if they're killing me.

Arctos:Like, I'm always going to be talking shit in that game, and that is why I can't play.

Johnny:Does the shit talk change if you're losing?

Arctos:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Johnny:Did you go after them personally?

Johnny:How do you... So if you're... So if you're winning... If you're winning, you're...

Arctos:It's personal attacks.

Arctos:I'm making fun of their champion choices.

Arctos:I'm making assumptions on their life based off that.

Arctos:I make assumptions about their qualities outside of the game.

Arctos:I can't play this game.

Arctos:It brings out an evil side of me.

Johnny:If you're winning, you're like, you suck, get good, noob.

Johnny:But if you're losing, you're like, I bet you make bad financial choices.

Johnny:Hmm.

Arctos:So, Noah, this is how I made Trials in Destiny.

Arctos:I was able to complete Trials when it was hard because I'm an extremely competitive person.

Arctos:And I strategically now try to not get into games where I could do that.

Arctos:I'm better at PvE games now because I just don't want to get the rage.

Arctos:So.

Benny:Yeah, but that also is the meta.

Benny:The meta is if they're doing better than me, they have no life.

Benny:And if I'm doing better than them, they suck ass.

Arctos:yeah yeah yeah yeah um and it got better when when you go higher up in the ranks because then on average people are more consistent and then most of the hate talk is just all personal it's all personal um

Anzu:Genius.

Johnny:Thank you.

Anzu:Mental gymnastics.

Benny:It also happens to be true.

Benny:If you get absolutely stomped by someone on the other team, you're like, dude, take a shower.

Benny:And chances are they are on this game 12 hours a day for seven days a week.

Benny:So you're like, I'm actually accurate.

Benny:This person doesn't have a life.

Arctos:Well, sometimes they might, like, just be having a good game.

Arctos:And I know this because before matches, I used to... I used to also do this in Destiny.

Benny:Oh, yeah.

Arctos:But I would, like, look them up, like, their match history.

Arctos:So sometimes if they are just having a one-off good game, I'm like, it's okay.

Arctos:You're gonna suck after this game.

Arctos:I know how bad you do it.

Arctos:I start, like, saying their stats.

Arctos:Like, it is... And sometimes it works.

Arctos:Sometimes being this rude, you can get into their mental, and then they're just, like,

Arctos:It's so funny because it's a team game.

Arctos:Sometimes you know you've peaked when you're not doing well on your team, but some person on the other team keeps going out of their way to kill you.

Arctos:They will throw their own game to just tunnel vision over you because you've made them so mad.

Arctos:That's how you know you've peaked.

Anzu:So, would you consider yourself a toxic player?

Arctos:Only in League.

Anzu:Mm-hmm.

Arctos:And I started getting a little bit indestinate, and then I left.

Gamemaster:But not no.

Arctos:Yeah, yeah.

Arctos:No, it's inside of me.

Anzu:Mm-hmm.

Arctos:I have to choose not to do it, which is why I do different games.

Johnny:Hmm.

Benny:But also, stat tracking is, like, the most devious, unused alpha.

Benny:Like, you're playing a game that has bans.

Benny:Like, a bunch of the games have bans.

Benny:There are many, many stat tracker apps.

Benny:You just pull them up and you go, this is by far the best person on their team.

Benny:They have a 2.0 KD.

Benny:Ban their fucking people.

Benny:Like, for Rainbow Six, it's like, ban these.

Benny:Ban this to start.

Benny:Like, we're going to handicap them off the bat.

Benny:But also, taunting them, like...

Benny:dog, you went four and 13 today.

Benny:Like, are we fucking serious on that person?

Benny:Like for real.

Benny:And it's like, even though they may be doing well in this game, so they're on like a, on like a local high, you can bring back the despair they felt in that earlier game when they went four and 13 and just slap them with it over and

Arctos:Or what I like to do in League is when I play jungler, I look for the person that's doing the worst that day, and then I camp them.

Arctos:So I know they're already fragile mental.

Arctos:So then I just keep killing them.

Arctos:And they're worth zero gold at this point.

Arctos:But I know that if I break them mentally, their team's never going to be able to recover because it's 5v4.

Arctos:So no matter what, I'm going to win because that person's going to have a worse day than me.

Benny:you're just tilt farming because the person is just like, why the fuck is this guy camping me?

Arctos:Oh, no, no, no.

Arctos:How do you think I made it to... I made it to Diamond 1.

Arctos:I made it to Diamond 1.

Arctos:That was like a fraction of a percentage of players.

Arctos:Because you have to be evil.

Arctos:You have to be evil in that game.

Benny:I would be, that would be so funny to experience on the other team.

Benny:Cause it's just like, someone is like, Oh, and six getting camped by the jungler.

Benny:And he's just like, why the fuck does he not leave my fucking lane?

Benny:And it's just like, you're Oh, and six, shut up.

Arctos:No, no, because...

Benny:Just stop playing weird.

Arctos:No, because what happens is, when someone's doing bad, they usually start talking shit in their chats, right?

Arctos:So then they're talking shit to their teammates, they're making their teammates upset, they might then pull over one of their junglers to help them out.

Arctos:I'm already fed killing this dude.

Arctos:So then I kill that jungler, and then the jungler's like, fuck you, I'm never coming back up over there.

Arctos:So then you just keep... And no matter if one dude's carrying, everyone else on my team's doing better because of that, you know?

Arctos:So...

Anzu:I just have no interest in playing League.

Arctos:Yeah, so this is why when Josh asked me if I'm ever going to pick up League again, the answer is no.

Arctos:As you can see, I just can't go down that again.

Anzu:You don't like who you become.

Benny:Bye.

Gamemaster:brought...

Anzu:I love it.

Johnny:so you're you're this is your black suit spider-man arc but at the end you just go yeah this is pretty good

Arctos:No, no, I do like who I've become, which is the bigger problem, which is why I can't re-tap into it.

Arctos:It is so much fun, guys.

Arctos:It is so much fun.

Arctos:Yeah, no, no.

Arctos:Legitimately, my joy is when that person's doing bad, and I know they're thinking in my head, next game, it'll be fine, and then I make their day worse.

Arctos:And then that person hopefully will log off after that, and I win.

Arctos:That's what I like.

Johnny:So the win is not like actually winning the game.

Johnny:The win is making the other person quit.

Johnny:I learned a lot today.

Arctos:Oh, that's the point of League.

Arctos:The point of League is not to win, it's to make the other team hate themselves.

Arctos:I can't play that game anymore.

Benny:We could try smite.

Arctos:No, it wasn't... There wasn't enough micro stuff.

Arctos:I couldn't do attack canceling and things like that when I played it.

Benny:No, there's like, I don't know, maybe 10 people that even have a single thing that you can attack cancel.

Arctos:Yeah.

Arctos:Yeah, yeah.

Arctos:Yeah, so other than that, Teamfight Tactics is a great game.

Arctos:It's also a game from the same company, but it's not toxic.

Arctos:It's an auto-chest, which is basically just Yu-Gi-Oh.

Gamemaster:Arc Raiders.

Arctos:You buy cards, you build champions, you build a team, there's traits.

Benny:I don't know if I know a game where you interact with other humans and it's not toxic.

Benny:I'm going to be honest.

Johnny:Okay.

Arctos:No, no, no, like, people don't even talk.

Benny:Ark Raiders.

Benny:Yeah, me.

Benny:Hey, how's it going?

Benny:Oh, friendly, friendly.

Benny:And then I get fucking torrentade and extract.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's because you get matchmade into aggressive lobbies.

Arctos:Yeah.

Arctos:Yeah, they're in toxic lobbies.

Benny:How many slurs have you been called on Ark Raiders?

Anzu:People are very nice in my lobbies.

Gamemaster:I've never been called a slur in Ark Raiders.

Anzu:Yeah, I'm at zero.

Gamemaster:Have you?

Gamemaster:If anything, that just tells me info about how they play.

Benny:I don't think I have, but my friends have.

Benny:Okay.

Benny:If you're going for trios, when I... When I play...

Gamemaster:They have slur-based matchmaking in Ark Raiders.

Anzu:Yeah, the matchmaking is made such that...

Anzu:If they are getting yelled slurs at, they've probably yelled slurs in the other direction.

Anzu:That's the aggression-based matchmaking.

Benny:When I play with you guys, we're more goal-oriented or something, or I have a key.

Benny:This is like, what's the hardest map right now?

Benny:And then we'll have a goal, but if we hear any gunshots, we're like, huh?

Benny:So we are full 100% PvP any time I play with them.

Benny:So it does get very, very aggressive.

Arctos:I feel like when we've played PVPs with Josh, Mike, and I, you guys aren't that aggressive.

Arctos:I feel like when we hear noises, we're like, should we go?

Arctos:I don't know if we should go.

Benny:No.

Arctos:Should we go?

Arctos:Maybe.

Benny:I need at least one antagonist.

Arctos:And then we get like three teams.

Benny:I need at least one or two antagonists.

Benny:And then it's just like, this Stitcher is so nice.

Benny:I've killed four people today.

Arctos:Yeah.

Arctos:But it's good that I feel like

Arctos:At least you, Mike, you're a little bit more passive sometimes on those, which is good, because then I don't get down that green goblin rabbit hole, which is good, which is good.

Arctos:I will say, though, in Ark Raiders, I've only had one... I was only kind of toxic that I remember once, and that was when I walked by someone and I was like, hey, friendly!

Arctos:And I, like, shot down a hornet that was shooting him.

Arctos:It was kind of bad.

Arctos:Then I walked past him, and then he started shooting me, and then I turned around and downed him, and then I just started...

Arctos:berating him on mic.

Arctos:I'm like, how'd that go, idiot?

Arctos:Do you feel good now?

Arctos:Do you feel like a winner, big boy?

Benny:Yes.

Anzu:Well, that's well earned on his part.

Arctos:Yeah, but I was kind of really mean.

Gamemaster:The only reason I brought it up is because you started playing a game made by Riot.

Arctos:It's fine.

Arctos:Yeah.

Arctos:Other than that, I like to think I'm a good person, as long as I'm not playing League.

Gamemaster:And so, you know, I was concerned.

Gamemaster:teetering a little closer to them.

Gamemaster:But if you trust yourself, who am I to disagree?

Gamemaster:You know?

Arctos:On a side note, Tanner and Noah, if you guys do want a different game to play, we found a game that's fun.

Johnny:Is it League?

Benny:Who are we to judge?

Gamemaster:We could judge.

Gamemaster:I'm pretty good at judging.

Benny:Just wondering who we are.

Anzu:I see you've been playing a Warhammer-based game.

Gamemaster:It feels very much like Left 4 Dead, if you've played that.

Arctos:It is.

Arctos:It's a...

Gamemaster:You're running around doing an objective, being attacked by many, many zombies.

Gamemaster:Except they're not zombies in this game.

Gamemaster:They're undead created by Nurgle, which is completely different.

Arctos:And what's also fun is there's a good amount of story that none of it makes sense.

Gamemaster:Yeah, no.

Arctos:First of all, let me rephrase.

Arctos:There's a good amount of story and none of the story makes sense.

Johnny:Isn't that all Warhammer games, though?

Johnny:Because you have to read all 400 books in the Horus heresy to understand anything.

Arctos:Yeah, they just assume you know Warhammer and then they're just talking about people and fights and planets and you're like, I don't understand this.

Anzu:Mm.

Gamemaster:Well... Jorge bought the DLC that makes them nicer to him, and I'm a little mad at him for that.

Benny:It's so funny.

Arctos:That would make him nicer.

Arctos:I just bought it.

Gamemaster:Because the original setup of the game is that you're in prison for crimes and then bad thing happens.

Gamemaster:So that like here you can get out of prison, have a gun if you help us fight back the evil dudes.

Gamemaster:except they added a DLC that Jorge got where instead of being a prisoner you're just one of the cops and so in order to make that work with the story there's just like every once in a while there's a cutscene in the game where they're like you idiot you buffoon you prisoner I would kill you on the spot if I could and they just removed those cutscenes for his character so Mike and I are getting berated while Jorge is just like hey get out I'm getting accommodation or whatever and it's very rude

Johnny:Thank you.

Arctos:Yes.

Benny:Yeah, Jorge is literally like, what do you mean this second cutscene?

Benny:And they're like, oh, I guess this is just for us.

Benny:And it's just like, you scum of the earth.

Benny:You piece of shit.

Gamemaster:Yeah, we had a whole additional tutorial that was you're in prison, you suck.

Benny:Nice job on that mission, you fucking dumbass.

Johnny:Thank you.

Benny:And Jorge is just like, they're giving me a medal at a ceremony.

Benny:Mm-hmm.

Arctos:So, like, at the start of the game, they have to have, like, a prison break.

Anzu:Excellent work, Cadet.

Arctos:And then mine's like, welcome to Basic.

Arctos:You're such a great guy.

Gamemaster:And he just skipped that bit.

Arctos:And then even in a later mission, like, they reference some lady.

Arctos:And they're like, wow, she's so mean.

Arctos:I'm like, really?

Arctos:She's been pretty nice to me.

Arctos:And I got the DLC because I become a space cop with a dog.

Johnny:So you get a dog and everybody likes you?

Arctos:So I was like, hell yeah, I get a dog.

Arctos:And then they just like skipped all the breakments.

Benny:The dog is so overpowered.

Gamemaster:Yep.

Benny:None of this is balanced because it's PvE, so there is a class that just dominates.

Benny:For reference, there are enemy dogs.

Benny:They're the most annoying thing.

Benny:They literally just run at you and then tackle you and you can't get up unless someone helps you up.

Benny:It's the same thing with the player dog.

Benny:The player dog will just find an enemy that takes like 100 hits and just tackles it and holds it there while you can shoot at it.

Benny:It doesn't do any damage.

Arctos:No, no, it'll kill it too.

Arctos:It'll kill it too.

Benny:Well, yeah, if you leave it long enough, it'll kill it.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Arctos:So, um, I have a dog named Nacho.

Arctos:He can also, he's really aggressive and like, like he'll jump into the way the areas they spawn that you can't go into and he's like, go in!

Arctos:And I'm like, holy shit, Nacho.

Benny:He's like, he might as well have wings.

Benny:There have been times where I just like am swinging at a horde and Nacho's in the horde and I'll hit Nacho and Nacho will fly 30 feet and just grab another enemy.

Benny:And I'm like, how did I feel like I hit him?

Benny:But it seems like it was directed like he was intentionally going over this.

Arctos:Oh, it's great.

Benny:I don't think I hit him.

Benny:It doesn't appear to matter.

Benny:I don't know.

Benny:He never has a health bar.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Arctos:Yeah.

Gamemaster:It is a good game, though.

Gamemaster:It's a good time.

Arctos:We also learned, so the whole theme is that you're like prisoner grunts.

Arctos:So the NPCs that are narrating the mission will just insult us, be like, you're going slow, you're idiots, blah, blah, blah.

Arctos:But then we played with a higher level person once, and we were going quicker, and they're like, the speed's adequate.

Arctos:And we're like, oh!

Arctos:They're actually insulting us as people, not our characters.

Gamemaster:Yeah, it wasn't scripted.

Gamemaster:It was we were going slowly.

Gamemaster:So they were playing the you're going slowly voice lines.

Arctos:Yeah.

Benny:Also, they have so many voices.

Gamemaster:So that was good.

Benny:There's a whole character creation thing with massive trees of how many things you can end up with.

Benny:And then they interact with other players' voice lines that picked different... Also, the tree is dependent on the class.

Benny:And they talk the whole fucking... They're the most chatty people in the world.

Benny:We're trying to go through the mission, and it's like the eighth conversation in, like, the second area.

Arctos:yeah but also Josh's character is really mean he's German that's really mean it just insults people

Benny:Like, three people just going fucking back and forth.

Benny:No, you'll never... Well, that's... Of course you'd say that.

Benny:It's like... Hmm.

Gamemaster:Although I will say, like, there aren't a lot of conversations.

Gamemaster:They do start to cycle through them.

Gamemaster:You'll hear them.

Gamemaster:Because every single mission we've been taught, Jorge's character called my character an idiot.

Gamemaster:Every single one.

Gamemaster:He is.

Gamemaster:What does it mean that I took their personality test and it gave me German?

Benny:Oh, also, I pointed out, we have the Axis powers on our team because Josh is German and Jorge's character is Japanese.

Gamemaster:That's true I don't think the eyebrows were what made him Japanese

Arctos:Okay, I didn't realize he was Japanese, but I made him with very bushy eyebrows.

Benny:He's got a Japanese accent when he does his will.

Arctos:Josh's character is also so old and is always falling asleep while we're transporting it to missions.

Johnny:Mike.

Benny:He looks like Beaker.

Benny:That's also true.

Benny:Wait, wait.

Gamemaster:It's not my fault they let me make an old guy.

Gamemaster:No?

Benny:No, no, no.

Benny:Jorge's character does look like Beaker.

Benny:I thought Beaker had eyebrows.

Benny:Does anyone know?

Arctos:Yeah.

Benny:Is anyone familiar with Beaker?

Benny:Is this too deep of a pull?

Anzu:No, no, I know Beaker.

Johnny:The mobile.

Benny:Okay.

Benny:That's Beaker.

Gamemaster:Does anybody know The Muppets?

Gamemaster:I know that's a deep cut.

Johnny:Nothing.

Benny:It's one of the Muppets.

Benny:Okay, well, name all of the Muppets, Josh, and describe their appearances.

Gamemaster:name all of the Muppets.

Gamemaster:I just mean... I just mean, like... Right.

Benny:If I said Kermit the Frog, you would have a point.

Anzu:Name every Muppet.

Benny:I said Beaker.

Arctos:Name three books, Josh.

Gamemaster:Beaker is not a particularly obscure Muppet.

Benny:Josh, who's the Muppet that plays the drums?

Gamemaster:Oh, Beast?

Gamemaster:Is that his name?

Benny:Animal.

Anzu:Meatball.

Benny:His name is Animal.

Gamemaster:Animal?

Gamemaster:I was close.

Benny:Gone.

Gamemaster:I was close.

Benny:Boom.

Gamemaster:But I would have understood who you were talking about.

Benny:Who's the guy that works with Beaker?

Gamemaster:I just...

Johnny:Awesome.

Gamemaster:I have no idea.

Gamemaster:Oh, is it?

Benny:It's Bunsen.

Gamemaster:I would have said the Swedish chef, but I know that's not correct.

Benny:What's the Swedish chef's last name?

Gamemaster:Is it?

Anzu:No, I have no idea.

Johnny:Thanks.

Anzu:I don't think he has one.

Gamemaster:Is it chef?

Benny:It's Chef.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Arctos:you

Benny:So you got one right.

Gamemaster:Nice.

Gamemaster:All I was saying is, like, you have pulled out really obscure references in the past to media I've not even come close to hearing about.

Gamemaster:The Muppets is a relatively common IP.

Johnny:I think what this proves is that Mike has no barometer for what is obscure and what is not anymore.

Gamemaster:Correct.

Johnny:It's all just the same for him.

Johnny:I think the Muppets are on Broadway right now, actually.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:That's fair.

Benny:I don't know.

Benny:Muppets are old, right?

Benny:When was the last time Beaker did a tour or something?

Benny:But that's not a tour.

Benny:That's like a residency.

Gamemaster:Oh no, it closed in November.

Johnny:Yo, you got me.

Johnny:I'm so sorry.

Johnny:Oh, I'm so sorry.

Johnny:I was wrong.

Benny:Yeah, he's going to the fucking Venetian in Vegas now for his next residency.

Johnny:You guys know Vegas?

Benny:You guys know that thing in Vegas.

Benny:That's a deep cut.

Gamemaster:What's a Vegas?

Benny:Everything's a deep cut.

Benny:It's the thing from the Fallout show.

Gamemaster:No.

Arctos:What's funny is this kind of reminds me of this high school physics teacher that he did a PhD in quantum mechanics at Harvard.

Arctos:But he ended up – he was only in my school for one year.

Arctos:But anyway, he would randomly just say things and, like, drop advanced physics terms.

Arctos:And we'd all be like, what are you talking about?

Arctos:And he's like, oh, right.

Arctos:And then other times he'd be like, so, you know –

Arctos:Why did you guys do bad on this word problem?

Arctos:And then we're like, we don't know how to solve for this.

Arctos:And he's like, did you guys know that cheetahs are faster than dogs?

Arctos:And we're like, we got that part.

Arctos:We just didn't know how to solve the other things.

Johnny:You didn't know that?

Arctos:And he would just... And then he'd always make slight digs.

Arctos:He'd be like, oh yeah, this problem is hard.

Arctos:Well, for you guys.

Anzu:Damn.

Arctos:People were like, how do you even make the tests, figure out how to put in 60 minutes?

Arctos:And he'd be like...

Arctos:Well, I just do it, and then I just multiply how long it took me by six, and I get your guys' times.

Arctos:Yeah, and I think someone asked him once, like, why are you here?

Arctos:And then he's like, sometimes you have to do things for love.

Arctos:And then, like, the next year, he got, like, an associate professor's degree at – no, position at, like, WPI.

Benny:you

Johnny:Okay.

Arctos:But it's, like, so funny because, like, it turns out his wife wanted to be where my town was for –

Arctos:So then he, like, had a high school teaching job.

Arctos:So overqualified.

Arctos:He was also, like, really ripped and really smart, and his name was Dr. Holmes.

Gamemaster:you

Arctos:I kid you not.

Arctos:This felt like a really shitty character from a book.

Johnny:It just sounds like a bad mid-2000s Fox sitcom.

Arctos:Yeah.

Benny:I forgot about that XKCD.

Arctos:Very funny.

Benny:That is definitely me when talking about references.

Benny:Everyone knows the tiny orb at the end of Jak and Daxter.

Benny:No, no one does.

Benny:And I'm like, Beaker?

Benny:Right?

Benny:That's obscure.

Benny:No, we all knew that one.

Benny:You guys don't remember that commercial where they had those bricks that chewed like gum, but you could make homes out of them?

Benny:What are you...

Johnny:Wait, is that an actual reference or did you just make that one up?

Benny:No, I just made that up.

Gamemaster:It's not surprising that we can't tell them.

Anzu:No, I've seen it referenced by non-mic.

Benny:I'll keep my as seen on TV at the front.

Johnny:See, we all... Mike, you don't have a barometer for what's obscure.

Johnny:We don't have a barometer for when you're saying stuff that is nonsense and that's not.

Johnny:Unless it involves onion futures.

Benny:I think I had more mute effects.

Gamemaster:I still think that's made up.

Gamemaster:I know you've shown me evidence otherwise it's made up.

Arctos:Speaking of which.

Anzu:So that gives it some credibility.

Gamemaster:They're in on it.

Anzu:I mean, it could have been a plant, yeah.

Benny:They are not.

Benny:The Wikipedia edits were successful.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:Now people believe it.

Johnny:I don't know.

Gamemaster:I'm going to be back in a second.

Gamemaster:Oh, sorry.

Arctos:No, go ahead.

Arctos:You can leave.

Gamemaster:I'll be able to hear.

Gamemaster:I just won't be on camera.

Arctos:Damn it, I was just going to shit talk you.

Anzu:All right, guys, now that he can't see us, let's all do sign language and talk shit.

Benny:Do we actually believe that he can't hear us?

Gamemaster:I know none of you know sign language.

Benny:He's in the other room.

Benny:He can't hear us.

Johnny:I heard the Jorge Spangler sign language.

Arctos:I know that one.

Anzu:Oh, Josh, you're getting roasted by Jorge right now.

Benny:Something that Craig cannot catch.

Gamemaster:I know how Jorge did in sign language.

Gamemaster:He can't say anything.

Gamemaster:It's fine.

Anzu:Oh, he's saying something.

Anzu:All right.

Arctos:It's a good thing this can't get recorded by Craig.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I don't know how it'll translate that, but I'll let it know.

Benny:What is the courtroom scribe going to write now?

Arctos:When I took ASL, my teacher was also deaf.

Gamemaster:I'll let the record show Jorge was cursing in sign language.

Benny:Wow.

Arctos:So he was trying, like there was a couple of times where he'd be trying to explain a word and he didn't know how to explain it because he couldn't talk.

Arctos:But one person's like, is this L?

Arctos:And then like for the letter L, and then he's just like, and he's like trying to convey to us, do not.

Arctos:do that symbol?

Arctos:Or, like, why?

Arctos:And then he's like, uh, uh.

Benny:That's too close.

Benny:Also, deaf sign language teacher, that's like, oh, my French teacher doesn't speak English.

Arctos:And then she's like, that?

Arctos:Like, oh, God!

Arctos:Yeah, but come on!

Benny:You're like, how do you say toilet?

Benny:And they're like, I don't know.

Arctos:Yeah.

Benny:I know it's one degree better, but it's still funny to think.

Arctos:Yeah.

Arctos:But,

Arctos:He had to signal lesbian, and he did get all the point across, which was very funny.

Arctos:This is the one for lesbian, and to show us Josh, he's like, no, don't do that.

Arctos:That means... Yeah.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:I mean, you figured it out, you learned it, and you remembered it.

Gamemaster:Effective teaching.

Arctos:I was the only guy in that entire class of, like, 20 people.

Gamemaster:Men aren't allowed to learn sign language, I get it.

Johnny:Let's do it.

Gamemaster:On that note, do we want to play some Pathfinder?

Gamemaster:Okay, does anyone want to do a recap of last session?

Gamemaster:Noah?

Gamemaster:What you got?

Johnny:Yeah.

Johnny:Last session, we were 1,000% sure we were about to get jumped when we were selling this car.

Johnny:We were like, Jurek, we borrow your car again when we go sell this other car.

Johnny:And she was like, yeah, don't get a scratch on it.

Johnny:We were like, yeah, that'll be fine.

Johnny:When we got to the deal and we're like, oh, we're going to get this car so fucked up.

Johnny:So we spent 10 minutes trying to get the car on the right position.

Johnny:Then we sold the van to the Velvet Mark and it went pretty well.

Johnny:And they gave us a card and it all went pretty great.

Johnny:We used that money to legalize the G-Wagon.

Johnny:So now the G-Wagon's legal.

Arctos:Uh huh.

Johnny:Then we were like, we got a few days until the pilgrimage.

Johnny:What do we do?

Johnny:And we all just kind of sat around for a minute.

Johnny:But luckily, that was the cue for the next quest to kick in.

Johnny:And Anouk, Anouk, Anouk, Anouk, the girl half of the Elven twins, was like, hey, my brothers went into the boonies of...

Gamemaster:Panic?

Johnny:the versions of this world.

Johnny:And it's just gone that he found.

Johnny:So can you go get them?

Johnny:And we're like, yeah, easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

Johnny:We drove down the infinite horizon a little bit, found a shack in the middle of nowhere.

Benny:Thank you.

Johnny:We were like, this is sketchy.

Johnny:We just walked on in totally fine.

Johnny:And I was there chained up, started acting super sketchy.

Johnny:We were like, we didn't do anything.

Johnny:And he was like, we didn't do anything.

Johnny:And he was like,

Arctos:Ha ha ha.

Gamemaster:Bye.

Johnny:And then we were like, obviously he's cursed or under some compulsion.

Johnny:Spent a long time being like, we're your friends.

Johnny:We're your friends.

Johnny:And then finally we took his shackles off.

Johnny:And then we got a big lore dump and learned that his boss hates outlines.

Johnny:And our boss really has one outline that everyone needs to stick to.

Johnny:Not really our boss, but we also learned that every time we talked to our guy,

Johnny:It could end catastrophically.

Johnny:We also learned about the rest of the narrative.

Johnny:We learned about Aut, the writer, who we already know, but now we know his title.

Johnny:Renge, the fickle mistress.

Johnny:P'ter, the threshold.

Johnny:Insuperlex, the bifurcated mountain man.

Johnny:And the Menhir, the heroes.

Johnny:Which seem like a group of people who are dangerous, and then one group of rocks, which is pretty cool.

Gamemaster:That works.

Johnny:And then just to get back at him, we were like, well, do you know about the invasion of six evil gods?

Johnny:And he was like, wait, what?

Johnny:We were like, yeah, get fucked, guy.

Johnny:And he was like, you guys are the worst spies ever.

Johnny:And we were like, we're not spies.

Johnny:And we went back and forth on that for a little bit.

Arctos:Ha ha ha!

Johnny:And then it ended with him being like, you're bad spies.

Johnny:And us being like, we're not spies.

Johnny:And he was like, I guess we'll work together.

Johnny:And then we drove away.

Gamemaster:Which, I mean...

Gamemaster:He is right that you're bad spies if you're not spies.

Gamemaster:But yeah, that's where the mythic point to me.

Johnny:you you

Gamemaster:I think you hit on all the important bits.

Gamemaster:Only thing of note, I think, was that you had handed over the invitation to him, and it's...

Gamemaster:non-magical, so he suggested that all of you go at some point.

Gamemaster:You might be able to work to forge a new copy of it if you want in duplicates, or you could try and sneak into whatever it is.

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, the invitation itself is relatively light on details on what you would be walking into.

Gamemaster:But yeah, we ended last session, and we'll pick up this session with you guys pulling into the garage.

Gamemaster:of the, uh, Cinematonic with your street-legal Aventine.

Gamemaster:Um... What'd you like to do?

Gamemaster:Anaïs is kind of just gonna stumble out of the car and go looking for his sister.

Johnny:Should we try and forge a few more versions of this note so we can all get in?

Benny:Prepare for the party?

Benny:Should we... Yeah, do you think...

Arctos:We got two days for the party?

Gamemaster:Uh, it's like Thursday afternoon, the party's Saturday evening.

Arctos:Okay.

Arctos:Well, I assume that those other spies could probably do that better than us.

Anzu:make better forgeries.

Johnny:Maybe not us, but like someone else around here.

Anzu:I wouldn't doubt it.

Arctos:Mm-hmm.

Benny:You think Smiler would know someone?

Johnny:Probably.

Johnny:Probably got some guys.

Arctos:Or we can go ask those people if they know how they think they could do it.

Johnny:Yeah, we can ask the twins.

Johnny:I can check with my contacts.

Arctos:I don't really want to put it out on the... What if we get a guy to forge it that's going to this thing?

Johnny:I really have no idea what this thing is.

Anzu:Yeah, or who's going.

Benny:pilgrimage do we want to try to find the info on what the pilgrimage is or would that be showing too much sure

Arctos:I mean, I think the pilgrimage is about fire and bringing the city to the other city that they're trying to swap it with.

Arctos:I'm going to talk to the twins.

Johnny:Go find the twins.

Gamemaster:Anouk is in her workshop over in the back of the Senate, where Anaïs is currently talking to her.

Gamemaster:I think you guys walking in, she'll look at you and at this point she's probably realized that she's... She didn't know that you guys had any relation to Aut when she asked you to go find Anaïs.

Arctos:Thank you.

Gamemaster:So this is a weird bit of...

Gamemaster:I think serendipity is too positive of a word.

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Coincidence, maybe.

Gamemaster:That this happened.

Gamemaster:But she's, you know, Anaïs is trusted.

Gamemaster:So she'll go along with it for now.

Gamemaster:And she looks at all of you and says, So, this pilgrimage.

Gamemaster:We are to stop the apocalypse now.

Anzu:Well, we'd sure as heck like to try.

Benny:I hope it's not happening at the pilgrimage.

Johnny:Be bad.

Gamemaster:You said it was related somehow, no?

Benny:I don't know.

Arctos:Uh-huh.

Benny:Oh, well, the apocalypse is coming, but I hope it's more than two days.

Anzu:I think that some of our efforts around the city have probably actually slowed the coming of the apocalypse because they need the city to resonate.

Anzu:And we've destroyed some of that infrastructure and the Inquisitors are probably doing more of that.

Anzu:My theory is that they're gathering people at this pilgrimage perhaps to, you know, entrance them in some kind of harmony or false harmony, if that's what you consider these other things.

Gamemaster:Does that mean we would need some sort of protection from that?

Gamemaster:Is that something we should be trying to prepare for?

Anzu:I don't know.

Gamemaster:I unfortunately do not have any.

Anzu:Could be that we're already kind of protected just by having a harmony of our own.

Anzu:That's also a guess, but... Might be good to have some kind of plan in case we do need to steal ourselves.

Gamemaster:anti-harmony armor or anything like that i could look into it but two days is a relatively short time Scale for yes i

Arctos:Well, I have a solution.

Arctos:You pray to the host.

Arctos:The host will protect you.

Arctos:There's an answer.

Arctos:And I pull out the scripture for the host.

Arctos:You can just read it here.

Arctos:There weren't real followers.

Anzu:It's a possible theory, but we have seen people of the host be turned.

Anzu:I mean, am I recalling correctly that Tywelwyn had some visage of the host before becoming more Ember-y?

Gamemaster:Second.

Anzu:So... And that is possible, absolutely.

Arctos:He wasn't about enough.

Anzu:But...

Johnny:Uh, Nye, Onik, either are you good at forging?

Johnny:Forgeries?

Johnny:Making fakes?

Gamemaster:One of them has a minus one to thievery, the other has a plus two.

Johnny:All right.

Johnny:Well, that plan's out the window.

Arctos:Is there anyone?

Anzu:I'm also not good at that.

Arctos:An iconic lesson to be good at that.

Gamemaster:I don't think so, unless it is one of you.

Gamemaster:We are not a clandestine operation, so.

Anzu:It's Benny.

Benny:Yet again, the burden of adulthood falls on the child.

Anzu:Benny kind of is, yeah.

Benny:I drive the car.

Benny:I forge the documents.

Johnny:What do you have to thievery?

Benny:Plus eight.

Johnny:That's pretty good.

Anzu:Anouk, were you able to do anything about that journal with the lock?

Gamemaster:Oh, yes.

Gamemaster:It was relatively simple.

Gamemaster:There was an arcane lock on it.

Gamemaster:I just dispelled it.

Gamemaster:I haven't read it, if that's the... Yeah, she'll hand it back over.

Arctos:I can.

Anzu:Oh.

Anzu:Oh, I'd love to take a look if you don't mind.

Anzu:Yeah, yeah.

Gamemaster:Yeah, so roll, I guess, a perception to just leaf through it quickly and see if there's anything of interest there.

Anzu:I will hand it to a leafer.

Johnny:I would like to aid this bear.

Anzu:Whoa.

Johnny:I do not aid the bear.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Chimely sings a chaunty little tune while a bear flips through a journal.

Arctos:Well, you know what?

Arctos:I'll mythic it.

Arctos:This seems probably somewhat important.

Arctos:If I'm trained, is it plus 8?

Arctos:22.

Gamemaster:Uh, yes.

Gamemaster:Excuse me.

Gamemaster:Uh, what's that?

Gamemaster:Don't check that.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Bye.

Gamemaster:With a 22, flipping through, a lot of this journal is like actually a diary.

Gamemaster:It seems that this was Hlarf's personal diary.

Arctos:It still makes sense.

Gamemaster:So it looks like he was pretty diligent about journaling.

Gamemaster:He has one for each day.

Gamemaster:For the past, it looks like three months that he's had this particular journal.

Gamemaster:Most of them are relatively benign-looking entries talking about how much so-and-so pissed him off today or something like that nature.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Leafing through, it looks like he was actually skimming a little bit off the top of the take from the racketeering that he was running in the area in Sableclutch, because he talks about pocketing some coins before they actually make it into the Roundhat Gang.

Gamemaster:Which you gather is the money that you stole off of him.

Johnny:Is it good?

Gamemaster:That wasn't Roundhat Gang's specific money.

Gamemaster:That was Hlarf's personal stash.

Gamemaster:There's some poetry.

Arctos:Thank you.

Gamemaster:It's not great.

Gamemaster:It's competent.

Gamemaster:There are more slant rhymes, really, than real rhymes.

Gamemaster:But he was trying, clearly.

Gamemaster:I think on a 22, the only thing of note that you pick out of it that you might be able to apply to the future is that he does note, he makes like an offhand comment in an entry from like two months ago mentioning driving through the ring into Teller's Run to meet up with somebody.

Johnny:you you

Arctos:Huh.

Gamemaster:He doesn't write who he's meeting, because he already knows who that is.

Gamemaster:He doesn't need to write that down.

Gamemaster:But it does tell you that people are coming in and out of Teller's Run, and that that firewall that acts as a border can be opened for people to enter and exit.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:It's not like a permanent exclusion.

Arctos:Hey, let me take a look at your wounds.

Gamemaster:Who are you talking to?

Gamemaster:Anaïs?

Arctos:Yeah, that was imprisoned.

Arctos:Yeah.

Gamemaster:No, Anaïs is fine now.

Gamemaster:He cast a few spells and he's healed up.

Gamemaster:He is a practiced mage.

Gamemaster:He has healing spells.

Gamemaster:But I appreciate the offer.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:35?

Arctos:How old are you?

Gamemaster:You've asked this.

Gamemaster:He's 35 and 9 months old.

Arctos:How old is your sister?

Gamemaster:Sorry, you cut out for me there.

Johnny:um you

Gamemaster:She is my twin.

Gamemaster:She is also 35, 59 months old.

Gamemaster:We were born at the same time.

Arctos:Okay.

Gamemaster:Technically, she is two minutes older, if that matters.

Anzu:Thanks.

Arctos:Where were you guys born?

Benny:I think he's working on some birth charts.

Arctos:Were you born here?

Gamemaster:Yes.

Gamemaster:You also asked this.

Gamemaster:We were born on Færrin.

Gamemaster:We were born in Hallia.

Arctos:Okay.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:I do not understand this suspicion, honestly.

Gamemaster:You four are the ones working for an evil entity.

Benny:Doesn't feel technically evil.

Gamemaster:I feel like if you have to add technically in front of evil, you have already jumped through too many hoops.

Benny:Just ordered.

Arctos:To be fair, I asked him if he was evil and he said he wasn't.

Benny:But it's a lot of jumping.

Gamemaster:Oh, I'm sorry.

Gamemaster:Evil people never... They can't lie.

Gamemaster:You're totally correct.

Benny:Well, evil people wouldn't call themselves evil.

Benny:But if they say technically, I'm just saying if someone said technically evil earlier in the conversation, they're probably right.

Gamemaster:What point are you trying to make there?

Benny:Technically not evil.

Gamemaster:I disagree, but I don't think we're going to get anywhere with this conversation.

Benny:That's fine.

Arctos:It's fine.

Arctos:So you guys are going to try to slip into this pilgrimage as well.

Gamemaster:Yes, we have the address now of the invitation, so we were going to try and find another way in.

Benny:So we're going to bring six.

Benny:Does this mean that we need to make five copies?

Gamemaster:We weren't planning on using the invites.

Gamemaster:We were just going to show up, see if there's another way into the establishment, not through the front door.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Although I don't know what front door means in this case, because the address is a town.

Gamemaster:But I am sure there will be a way in.

Arctos:Sorry, out of game.

Arctos:Did we talk about the town again?

Arctos:Is it the town that's near the sea trees?

Gamemaster:No, it's not.

Gamemaster:I don't think you guys had asked about it, but this particular town is some miles out of the city.

Gamemaster:Like a little under a day's worth of driving.

Gamemaster:It used to be a mining town.

Gamemaster:But the mine there was relatively small, and then they kind of figured out how to ship things in from the infinite horizon, so there was no reason to go to the expense of mining from a small mine when you could get things, like, easier from the surface elsewhere.

Gamemaster:So it kind of just got abandoned.

Gamemaster:It's, like, barely even on modern maps anymore.

Gamemaster:Nobody lives there.

Gamemaster:It's just whatever wasn't profitable to pack up just got left there.

Gamemaster:The orts pulled out.

Johnny:Interesting.

Anzu:Perfect place to stage a cult.

Johnny:Interesting.

Anzu:They'll be unsupervised.

Arctos:We should definitely go and not just tell the Inquisition, right?

Anzu:Yeah.

Benny:yeah i don't want to get those guys involved again

Anzu:They'll tell us not to go.

Johnny:Yeah.

Arctos:Yeah.

Arctos:It would be really funny to see them all show up, though.

Johnny:Ornish.

Johnny:Obie.

Johnny:But if there's something important that we can learn there, I don't know.

Arctos:Maybe we should arrange for some letter to be sent to them after the fact, so they can go raid it when we're leaving.

Johnny:Hmm.

Arctos:Kind of messed up.

Arctos:I can't join.

Arctos:I haven't.

Anzu:Well, it seems like they have a very strict inclusion criteria.

Benny:Yeah, you've done crimes.

Benny:You have.

Arctos:Those don't count.

Benny:Well, then we can all join.

Anzu:Well...

Arctos:They count for you guys.

Johnny:Yeah.

Arctos:You're heathens.

Arctos:No offense.

Johnny:Mine don't count either.

Arctos:All right, well.

Benny:What do I need to make?

Benny:How many people?

Benny:We're bringing like 10 people.

Benny:I need to make 15 copies of this.

Johnny:Just hand them out to people on the street.

Benny:It's only... It's only one gold... No, because if we all show up with bad forgeries, it'll be like a smokescreen.

Anzu:That would be kind of crazy if we send a bunch of strangers as a diversion.

Johnny:Hey, come to the pool.

Arctos:It's a good idea.

Johnny:Like, yeah, you can...

Benny:If there's three people with bad forgeries, it's like, well, these fucking three.

Benny:But if there's a hundred people with bad forgeries, it's just like... Fucking...

Gamemaster:It would be funny if like eight people total were invited to this thing and a hundred people show up with forgery invitations.

Benny:That is Benny's concern because we have one invitation.

Benny:We're like, well, we'll just all show up.

Benny:And it's like, what if this is like super intimate and there's just like, where's Grayson?

Benny:And then there's just four people that were not invited.

Arctos:Thank you.

Benny:Like, no one knows those four.

Benny:Where's Grayson?

Benny:Like, it's going to be fun.

Benny:I don't know.

Benny:We just got invites.

Johnny:Some kid was just handing him out on the street.

Benny:Why are you each wearing one?

Benny:We know Grayson's outfit.

Benny:He was bragging about his outfit for this.

Benny:You're each wearing one piece of clothing from his outfit.

Benny:Did you think that would trick us?

Benny:It's so clear the bear had to wear the hat because nothing else fit.

Benny:And those pants are too big on that kid.

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Arctos:So, I assume Grayson's aware of this invite, and he had those quotes made, right?

Johnny:Wasn't he always like a pretty big, bulky...

Anzu:Now, can I say one thing?

Arctos:So, yeah.

Anzu:I'm not 100% convinced that that bedroom belonged to Grayson.

Benny:who think you belong to.

Anzu:I think that it was Tywelwyn's bedroom prior to him being unable to move from that chair.

Anzu:Because he...

Arctos:How do you think he flows?

Johnny:Deerman?

Anzu:Yeah, I suppose that's true.

Johnny:Because these clothes fit one Johnny Skyfall who has a strength score of plus zero.

Anzu:Bright, you're not quite his size.

Benny:Yeah, and all of Tywelwyn's friends are fucking Giant, gross animals.

Benny:Well, they were Giant, gross animals.

Johnny:Talking a lot of big, gross animal game when half of our party is animals.

Benny:Aware?

Gamemaster:Rose?

Benny:Aware?

Arctos:It's really fucked up.

Benny:But you guys aren't big, gross animals.

Benny:You guys are normal-sized, gross animals.

Anzu:I'm a person yes

Benny:You're a person.

Benny:Did you just say you're a person?

Arctos:Now... Okay.

Arctos:But let's assume it is Grayson.

Arctos:He probably knew of the invite.

Arctos:That's where he made the close.

Arctos:And I feel like Grayson's the type of guy...

Arctos:That even if his place got raided, he still might show up there.

Arctos:Or.

Anzu:We're already in big trouble with Grayson because that little thing got away from Brooks' apartment, so we've already got the heat.

Arctos:Now I'm picking this out loud.

Arctos:Being said.

Benny:We were also in his house bossing around his help.

Johnny:We did steal his diary.

Anzu:Yeah.

Arctos:Which he totally knows we did because we gave it to the cops, which he hasn't in.

Arctos:No, no.

Arctos:But also, if Grayson knew that diary was there and now knows the Inquisitors took over his place.

Arctos:Do you think he'd call off the pilgrimage thinking the Inquisitors are going to show up?

Johnny:I don't think the pilgrimage was Grayson.

Johnny:I think the pilgrimage was a third party.

Benny:Yeah.

Benny:I think Grayson got an invite.

Arctos:You don't think he's going to try to send word to let the co-conspirators know that it's going to get raided by the Inquisitors?

Johnny:I bet.

Johnny:Here's my theory.

Johnny:Grayson doesn't know who's putting on the pilgrimage.

Anzu:Did we hear that Grayson has heard the Voidsong?

Johnny:He's just as on the loop as we are.

Johnny:And I'm going to stick to this theory because it makes me feel like we're on level playing ground.

Arctos:Yes.

Gamemaster:Yes, I told you that Grayson had heard the Voight song.

Benny:I think we did.

Arctos:Oh.

Anzu:So that puts him kind of separate because these pilgrimage people are either Embercall or the Embercall is a slice of the pie.

Arctos:Yeah.

Anzu:So I also agree that it's not his doing.

Johnny:Yeah.

Arctos:Maybe

Benny:you

Arctos:Interesting.

Arctos:Should we just go show up to Grayson's house?

Anzu:No, I think probably in a few days we show up at this pilgrimage.

Johnny:I think we spend the next couple days prepping, getting some clothes, forging some invitations.

Johnny:Now, here's a big question.

Johnny:Arctos, you're the most well-known bear in the city.

Arctos:OK.

Johnny:Are you concerned about showing up to this event?

Arctos:Little bit.

Johnny:Okay.

Arctos:Do any of you know how to disguise me to not look like a bear?

Anzu:No, but I was thinking of buying Scrolls of Invisibility.

Johnny:If you...

Benny:Of course.

Johnny:Would a scroll of humanoid form work on you?

Arctos:How about, like, scrolls of changed shape?

Arctos:Is that a thing?

Johnny:Let's see.

Gamemaster:Yes, but it only lasts 10 minutes.

Johnny:It's only 10 minutes.

Johnny:Never mind.

Johnny:You could be a humanoid for 10 minutes.

Benny:And you can be invisible for 10 minutes.

Benny:So if we just get enough of those,

Anzu:All right.

Arctos:Mm hmm.

Johnny:So after the first 10 minutes when you're no longer a humanoid, then you just become invisible for 10 minutes.

Benny:Why don't you just claim another persona?

Benny:Why don't we go in groups?

Benny:I can go get a suit fitted and be someone's petite garçon.

Benny:The bear can go alone and attract all the attention to himself.

Benny:And then the bird can put on some raggedy clothes and jewels that have shininess and act like he's some sort of an oracle.

Johnny:Well, Arctos, wait, here, I like this plan, but one other thing.

Arctos:I love this plan.

Arctos:Let's do it.

Arctos:Hmm.

Johnny:Can we just dye you a different color?

Johnny:You could be a black bear or a brown bear or a panda bear.

Benny:Oh, that's actually a good point.

Arctos:Let's try that.

Benny:So we're going to the store.

Benny:We need a fitted suit for Benny.

Benny:We need the ink and paper required to forge these.

Benny:We need several boxes of hair dye.

Benny:Anything else?

Benny:The rags we could probably find in the trash.

Benny:I don't know about the jewels.

Johnny:We need a lot of costume.

Johnny:We need costume jewelry for... That's pretty good, actually.

Arctos:Can you give me a cool collar?

Arctos:I'll pretend to be someone's pet bear.

Benny:That could work.

Johnny:What color bear do you want to be?

Arctos:Black.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:We'll get you, like, a cool...

Arctos:I always wanted to try to be a black bear.

Benny:You're way too big to be one, but that's fine.

Gamemaster:I've always wanted to try being a black bear.

Benny:I can't believe Jorge is doing black bear face in this D&D session.

Johnny:There it is.

Anzu:Nope, nope, nope.

Johnny:There it is.

Johnny:To the market.

Benny:What if there's a black bear at the party and someone comes off and he accuses Arctos of doing black bear face?

Arctos:I'll also buy some non-descript medium armor.

Johnny:A scandal for the ages.

Arctos:So I'm not just wearing the Arctos armor.

Gamemaster:Yeah, sure.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Benny:Do you have your name on it?

Gamemaster:So... All of his public appearances have been in a single set of armor.

Benny:Wait, what?

Johnny:Oh, no.

Benny:Okay.

Gamemaster:When they had... So, you know...

Gamemaster:If you guys had, like, rolled high enough on society checks when you first met him, you would have recalled that every once in a while when you go to, like, areas aimed at children related to the year it doesn't host, they'll have one of those machines where you can put a penny in and then turn it and then presses it into, like, a likeness of him in his armor.

Johnny:There might be a lot of children at this party.

Arctos:We are one, 25% of our group is a child.

Gamemaster:So, like, you know, children would know who Aragdos is in his armor specifically.

Gamemaster:So, if you...

Gamemaster:Who knows?

Gamemaster:I mean, really, who knows?

Gamemaster:What are the demographics at this party?

Benny:He's a grown man.

Arctos:So it's not crazy to assume that there might be another child there.

Gamemaster:Listen, there's a spell, I think, that turns something into a child.

Gamemaster:So you could just say he got cursed by that spell or something like that.

Gamemaster:Could be.

Benny:He's cursed.

Benny:Shake his hand.

Benny:Yep, yep.

Benny:Grown man.

Benny:Let him in.

Gamemaster:That would track.

Benny:All right, so for shopping, our shopping list is paper and ink required to forge, black hair dye, enough for a bear, and what else were we getting?

Arctos:I'll take a loan from the iconoclasm for the medium armor.

Johnny:weren't you getting a fitted suit?

Anzu:I have some magical things I would like to purchase, but I'll do that with my own funds.

Benny:Oh, right, right, right.

Benny:Fitted suit for Benny.

Benny:Are they funny costume things?

Anzu:No, one is a staff, and then I am going to get... No, I'm just going to use my own funds.

Benny:And we can't afford them.

Benny:We can't afford them.

Benny:We need your money to spend it on the silly string and the googly eyes for the next place we're going to infiltrate.

Benny:Josh, how much do you think paper... Actually, where do we go?

Arctos:Thank you.

Benny:Is there like a fucking Walmart where we can get all of this in one stop?

Benny:Except for the suit.

Gamemaster:You could go to, yeah, Concordia is like a department store, effectively, where one of the floors, it's like a Macy's.

Gamemaster:And so one of the floors would have like magical supplies and stuff, but they'd also have clothes.

Gamemaster:I do have a question.

Gamemaster:You're getting suits, right?

Gamemaster:Or at least one of you is getting a fitted suit.

Benny:Fine.

Gamemaster:Did you want that to be fine or high fashion fine?

Gamemaster:Because those have different prices.

Benny:Benny is help.

Gamemaster:Oh, that's two gold pieces.

Benny:Perfect.

Gamemaster:Two gold pieces.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:If you wanted it to be high fashion, it's 55 gold pieces.

Benny:Yeah, no.

Benny:Benny is not wearing Louboutin or fucking whatever else.

Benny:I guess those are shoes.

Benny:Benny is not wearing a Gucci suit to the fucking pilgrimage.

Gamemaster:You could.

Benny:This is coming out of Benny's.

Gamemaster:It's...

Gamemaster:Two gold pieces.

Gamemaster:If you wanted gold ink, like ink with actual gold in it to mimic what they had on the invitation, it'd be a gold piece for an inkwell.

Anzu:Josh, can I purchase a staff of water?

Benny:This is coming out of.

Arctos:In the meantime, Archdeus would like to hang out at his local church.

Gamemaster:Probably.

Anzu:It's a level 3 common staff.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you definitely can.

Gamemaster:I don't think Smiler would have it, though, because that's a magic item in the Fane of Skrulls and stuff, so it'll be full price.

Anzu:Yeah.

Anzu:Yes, I expected this much.

Anzu:Sick.

Arctos:Um, and I'm going to slowly try to like get the crowd to like Arctos.

Arctos:Okay, wait, so quick question.

Arctos:Who are, who runs a local church?

Arctos:Did they buy it?

Arctos:Are they put there by some Iridescent Church, uh, like greater convocs?

Arctos:How does that work?

Gamemaster:There is a convox that manages the equivalent of a... Gosh, I don't know what the word is.

Arctos:So.

Gamemaster:Yes, that one.

Gamemaster:That manages Hallia specifically and the churches within it.

Gamemaster:So the church that you'd be visiting, the land and the building would be owned by the Iridescent Church, by that convox.

Gamemaster:And then the priest who...

Gamemaster:that area was assigned there by the church.

Gamemaster:That said, you don't know if he specifically asked to be assigned to this church, or if he was sent there from somewhere else.

Gamemaster:You could do a bit of schmoozing to try and find out, but either of those are possible.

Arctos:Yeah, can I try that?

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's a diplomacy check.

Arctos:I assume the people are of the faith of the host.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Arctos:Great.

Gamemaster:You're trying to ask around about a priest of the host in a church of the host.

Arctos:21.

Gamemaster:21.

Gamemaster:Yeah, he's from here.

Gamemaster:He's from here.

Gamemaster:He asked if he could be assigned to this particular one.

Gamemaster:He convinced the convox that it made sense to have a church here.

Arctos:Is this?

Gamemaster:And so they purchased the land instead of the building.

Arctos:Are there any other churches nearby?

Arctos:Is there room for a second church here?

Gamemaster:You could definitely put a second church in the area.

Gamemaster:You'd have to do the legwork of convincing people to attend, but you could go elsewhere in Sableclutch and probably not overlap too much with it, if that's the concern.

Arctos:Is there another path that can just keep going and keep becoming popular and then outrank him in the church in this one?

Johnny:you you

Gamemaster:I think it would be difficult to find yourself promoted over a priest without yourself taking up priestly duties.

Arctos:How does that work?

Gamemaster:And I'm not sure how you would manage that while also being an adventurer.

Gamemaster:Like, I don't know what Arctos' game plan is to gain adherence to the church while not having the time to give weekly sermons.

Arctos:Okay.

Arctos:So I can't... So Arctos doesn't have time to do one sermon a week.

Gamemaster:I don't... Tell me what you would try and have Arctos do.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:Because, like, being a priest is a full-time job.

Arctos:I would like... Okay.

Arctos:I don't know if there's, like, one... Like, if there's, like, a Sunday Mass that Arctos would like to try to take over.

Arctos:Other Masses has the backup priest.

Gamemaster:Right, but why would Arctos be... In what scenario do you think Arctos would be allowed to take over the Sunday Mass?

Arctos:And then this long term, just have access to the church.

Arctos:Because he's Arctos.

Gamemaster:given that he's not a priest.

Arctos:Because he's cool and he's a cleric.

Arctos:But he's a cleric?

Arctos:I don't know.

Arctos:I don't know the whole priesthood duties in this world.

Gamemaster:It's just, like, in general, like, the politics around why would this guy give it up permanently to you to come in and give sermons?

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:I guess.

Arctos:Alright, alright.

Arctos:What if I start my own?

Gamemaster:Like, you need some compelling way.

Arctos:Can I get a backup priest?

Gamemaster:If you're trying to usurp this guy and claim his church, you need a compelling way to do so, other than I would like to.

Anzu:I think you're better off befriending this guy and becoming a guest speaker.

Arctos:Can I start a neuters?

Anzu:And that's your foot in the door.

Benny:You could kill him.

Arctos:And then we slowly take it over because they start liking Arctos better.

Arctos:I like that idea.

Arctos:Yeah, let's do that.

Arctos:I'll try to become a friend of him.

Arctos:Josh, once you said there's a divinity machine in the church, I was like, we need access to this thing.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Arctos:We need access to this divinity engine.

Gamemaster:For what?

Johnny:Minor miracles.

Gamemaster:What would Arctos do with the prayer engine?

Arctos:We need a miracle.

Arctos:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Yes, Johnny.

Johnny:During those next couple days, I would just like to hang out around Iconoclasm and get to know the folks there and help out.

Johnny:Help them out with whatever they're doing.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Johnny:Friend them a little bit.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:You can do that.

Johnny:Get in good with them.

Gamemaster:While you're looking to, like, work, do you want to be paid a wage?

Gamemaster:Or are you just hanging out?

Johnny:I'm just hanging out, helping people out, doing... I feel like we came in, lost a car, got the car back, came back with several other cars.

Johnny:So I'm trying to build up the whole team's reputation by helping people out.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:You guys have only been around for like a week and a half, so you're still new to the whole group, so you can definitely spend a little bit of time trying to ingratiate yourself with the others.

Gamemaster:That works.

Gamemaster:Was there anything else that you guys wanted to purchase or do in the intervening time before we skip forward to...

Arctos:Just try to become a guest preacher and that's it.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:That'll take a little bit of time.

Gamemaster:You've rolled... What did you roll for your diplomacy check?

Arctos:Yeah.

Arctos:21.

Gamemaster:Okay, yeah.

Gamemaster:So you've started on that path.

Gamemaster:You're at least a known quantity.

Gamemaster:But, you know, it'll take a little bit of time.

Arctos:Shall we die me and then we can get out?

Arctos:Iconoclasm can let me borrow a piece of armor, right?

Benny:Yes.

Gamemaster:Iconoclasm had let you borrow armor, and then you...

Arctos:Yeah.

Gamemaster:needed to return it once you've fetched your stuff.

Gamemaster:You can borrow if you want medium armor.

Gamemaster:Gosh, what is medium armor?

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:Here are some examples.

Arctos:Did Benny, did you borrow a half plate before, Benny?

Benny:I believe I borrowed a breastplate.

Arctos:Breastplate, okay.

Anzu:Oh, how much would invisibility scrolls have been?

Anzu:I forgot about that.

Gamemaster:What level invisibility?

Anzu:They're second level.

Gamemaster:Second level?

Gamemaster:Level two spell scroll is 12 gold pieces.

Benny:Uh.

Anzu:Okay.

Johnny:more you

Anzu:I'll buy two.

Arctos:I will go buy a half plate from Smiler.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Arctos:Since that's heavy armor.

Gamemaster:Half plate, sure.

Gamemaster:17 gold pieces.

Benny:Thank you.

Arctos:What's Anzu's outfit for this thing?

Gamemaster:Anything else?

Benny:Oh.

Anzu:I think I will buy, to go along with my currently plaid button-down shirt and suspenders, I will get a corduroy jacket.

Arctos:Bye.

Johnny:Ooh.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:And you tell me what the price of such an item would be.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Like a blazer corduroy jacket?

Gamemaster:Like a suit jacket type deal?

Anzu:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gamemaster:One gold piece for just the jacket.

Anzu:Epic.

Gamemaster:Assuming you don't want the high fashion variety.

Anzu:Correct.

Anzu:And the state of the world is such that there are drivable roads to, or we think there will be drivable roads to where we want to go.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Gamemaster:In fact, that would really be the only way to get there.

Johnny:Think we're driving for this one.

Gamemaster:There isn't a train line that runs there anymore.

Gamemaster:So you're either driving or walking.

Gamemaster:But if you're walking, you need to set out on Thursday to get there by Saturday.

Anzu:Yeah.

Arctos:Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:But you have your own car?

Gamemaster:Or you could try and borrow the city trucker again.

Anzu:I think probably we'll take our car this time.

Benny:Yeah.

Anzu:Feels like the right thing to do.

Johnny:Did we die, Arctos?

Gamemaster:Same.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Do you all feel comfortable in what you have?

Gamemaster:And do you want to skip forward to the day of the party?

Arctos:Yeah.

Gamemaster:You have to die Arctos, and I need somebody to attempt... Are you trying to forge more invitations, or are you trying to go in another way?

Benny:Yes.

Gamemaster:Okay, if you're trying to forge invitations, then I need either a thievery or a society check.

Gamemaster:You have a plus four circumstance bonus to this check, because you have something to copy.

Gamemaster:Did the network... Was that a Discord thing or a me thing?

Johnny:No, I think it's... Yeah.

Benny:think it's a discord thing because it's also a me thing uh does anyone have a greater no i think i got all of it does anyone have greater than an eight thievery for their society he's forging

Anzu:Yeah.

Arctos:Yeah, it's a little glitchy.

Anzu:Oh, for society.

Gamemaster:Did I cut out there?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Arctos:Yeah.

Anzu:I have 10 society.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:I double-checked and apparently creative forgery is normally a society check.

Anzu:Whoa.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:But I would also allow thievery because it feels like thievery would fit there.

Anzu:All right, I guess I'll do it.

Anzu:My society check.

Anzu:Very interesting.

Johnny:With the plus 4 circumstance, right?

Anzu:Oh, yeah, yeah.

Anzu:Circumstances.

Anzu:Nice.

Anzu:Oh, that's pretty good.

Anzu:29.

Gamemaster:29?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:You have something to copy off of.

Gamemaster:So you're just using the invitation.

Gamemaster:You got a little bit of like the same blue cardstock and you have the gold ink.

Gamemaster:And you do, as best you can tell, a pretty good job making another series of... How many invitations are you making?

Anzu:I think just three to bring us to four, right?

Benny:Great.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:You make three invitations, and if you mixed them up, I think it would be difficult to tell which one was the real one and which one are the ones that you just forged.

Anzu:Incredible.

Anzu:This reminds me of drafting some textbooks.

Benny:You guys don't have a press?

Arctos:Very cool.

Arctos:I don't like reading that much.

Johnny:Let's dye this bear.

Gamemaster:Okay, dying the bear.

Anzu:All right, we'll die the bear now.

Gamemaster:What is the plan there?

Benny:Yeah.

Johnny:We're dyeing the bear.

Benny:Well, he doesn't like baths, so we all need to create a wall in the bathtub.

Arctos:I'm a polar bear.

Arctos:I love water.

Benny:Okay.

Arctos:I love water.

Benny:I'm just looking at him giving a dog a bath.

Benny:He's like, no, I want to get out.

Arctos:Yeah.

Benny:I guess we could just leave them to it then.

Benny:Well, you better roll higher than a seven.

Johnny:We're just getting a big bathtub.

Arctos:Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:Okay, yeah.

Gamemaster:Um, you're dying in black.

Gamemaster:He's looking like a black bear.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:Can I get a nature check?

Anzu:I have a 7.

Johnny:No way.

Anzu:Okay, let's see what happens.

Benny:I don't think anyone has...

Johnny:We'll aid Tanner's nature check.

Johnny:I didn't aid the nature check.

Anzu:Nope.

Johnny:The aid will add tonight.

Anzu:Oh god, I need to roll like a 14.

Anzu:What's the DC?

Anzu:Yeah, well.

Anzu:Well!

Anzu:He's sickly.

Johnny:He's a black bear.

Anzu:That's why it doesn't look great.

Arctos:That's if it's a level 4 DC.

Anzu:He's sickly.

Gamemaster:okay with a 16 um you guys do the best you can trying to make him look like a black bear um i don't know how well necessarily because like polar bear fur is clear um

Arctos:We don't know if it was level 4 DC.

Gamemaster:So I don't know how well the dyeing necessarily takes to it, and I don't think any of you, including the bear himself, have any particular cosmetic knowledge around manipulating fur color and the like.

Gamemaster:You do the best you can.

Gamemaster:I think it really depends on the light in which you see him and how advanced one's knowledge of bears is to be able to tell the difference between him and an actual black bear.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you've done the best with what you can work with, as far as I can tell.

Gamemaster:All right.

Benny:At the very least, he'll take some heat off of us.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Arctos:Yeah.

Benny:He is a bear showing up to a party, so I don't know if we could have avoided that in any way.

Johnny:Let's go.

Gamemaster:Okay, so the four of you dressed and slash or disguised.

Johnny:If someone asks you your name, what are you going to say your name is?

Gamemaster:Actually, wait, sorry, just to clarify.

Gamemaster:The bear is wearing half plate.

Gamemaster:He's not going in like a suit or anything, right?

Arctos:Should I get a robe?

Arctos:Dose.

Gamemaster:Dose.

Arctos:What should I say?

Johnny:No, I like Dose.

Johnny:That's pretty good.

Arctos:Hey, look.

Arctos:These guys are supposed to be evil.

Arctos:I mean, if they show up and they think that I'm...

Arctos:this famous guy, they're just going to think I'm a famous evil guy now.

Arctos:I mean, Grayson's going to show up.

Benny:That's fair, honestly.

Arctos:They're not going to be like, Oh no, Grayson's here.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:So you all hop into your car leaving Dura to hang out with her vehicle unbothered.

Gamemaster:And you start the drive out of the city towards how casual is the name of the actual the name of

Gamemaster:The town is Ragged Roost.

Gamemaster:It's quite a few miles out of the city.

Gamemaster:It's a far enough drive, kind of into the middle of nowhere, that you guys are kind of buckling for about a day's worth of driving.

Gamemaster:I would like... I guess we'll do a survival check.

Gamemaster:Um...

Gamemaster:to figure out where you're going and how you're like you know just making sure you're getting on the right interstate i don't know if they would call it an interstate they don't have states um intercanton highway

Johnny:I think that's me.

Benny:Hopes amongst us can survive.

Benny:It does.

Johnny:Feels important.

Johnny:I'll use one of my two mythic points for this so I can get us there.

Gamemaster:And also, just for my sake, I don't know if it'll be relevant, if Johnny's the one navigating, that means he's shotgun.

Gamemaster:Benny's driving.

Gamemaster:On which side of the car are the two of you in the backseat?

Arctos:I'll be behind Johnny.

Anzu:It doesn't matter.

Anzu:No, Josh, it doesn't matter is what I'm saying.

Benny:That's why he's asking.

Anzu:Don't make it matter.

Gamemaster:Oh, okay.

Anzu:I'll go on the left.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:I'll just pick for you then.

Gamemaster:If it's relevant, streets in Calaria are right-hand driving.

Arctos:I'll be behind Johnny.

Gamemaster:I don't know if that impacts your decision at all.

Anzu:I'll be on the left.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:These are some bad rolls.

Benny:Wait, right-hand... Okay.

Johnny:I got an 18.

Gamemaster:What do we get?

Gamemaster:The driver's on the left, but you're on the right side of the road when you're driving.

Benny:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Anzu:Oh.

Benny:That makes sense.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:America rules.

Benny:No, no, no.

Johnny:America.

Benny:I get it.

Benny:It all clicked, and then I was just like, wait, isn't right-hand drive like Japan Atoll?

Benny:Like...

Gamemaster:What did we end up getting, Noah?

Johnny:Got an 18 with the mythic point.

Gamemaster:18.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:So...

Gamemaster:Good news, because this city's pretty far out of the way.

Johnny:Hmm.

Gamemaster:It's like you're not even considered a suburb anymore.

Gamemaster:You're traveling for hours here.

Gamemaster:Calaria is a relatively large country, but a lot of it is unsettled because there isn't much reason to move further out when you can just kind of go down the horizon instead.

Gamemaster:So it's a lot of driving through empty, undeveloped land, which feels like a bit of a departure.

Gamemaster:I mean, those of you who travel to Hallia from elsewhere have experienced this at least once, if not multiple times already.

Gamemaster:But it is very much...

Gamemaster:Like, driving through Kansas.

Gamemaster:Just a lot of agricultural farmland on flat ground in this part of the country.

Gamemaster:Which means that there's just not a lot of stuff to drive through.

Gamemaster:Especially in this direction.

Gamemaster:Which means it's a little difficult to mess up where you're going.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:You know the general direction.

Gamemaster:There are only so many large roads.

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, with that role, you do miss...

Gamemaster:The exit that you were supposed to take, that brings you onto another different highway that moves instead of going south, that goes east.

Gamemaster:And these are long roads.

Gamemaster:So I would like to know, if you miss an exit, would you drive the eight miles to the next exit so that you can go around and then head the other direction and then come back around again?

Gamemaster:Or would you make an illegal U-turn?

Arctos:How long is that 8 miles in time?

Gamemaster:Well, there isn't a speed limit.

Gamemaster:So probably like 10 minutes.

Arctos:Yeah.

Johnny:I feel like we should do that.

Gamemaster:Well, 20 minutes, because you have to get there and then drive the other direction.

Benny:We'd probably do that.

Benny:Benny would do that.

Johnny:There's always a cop waiting hidden somewhere on those roads.

Benny:Benny hasn't had... The last cops that he interacted with were like fucking flesh creatures.

Benny:Yeah, we'd follow the law, Josh.

Gamemaster:So, okay, sure.

Benny:Nice try.

Gamemaster:One second.

Johnny:Josh is like, would you guys do the cool thing and make an illegal U-turn or the lame, boring, dumb thing?

Benny:You find a bunch of drugs in the center console and drinks and alcohol.

Benny:Do you drink and drive?

Anzu:Makes the trip awesome.

Benny:It doesn't cut the trip any shorter.

Gamemaster:It's not illegal to drink and drive, so you can do that if you want.

Benny:It's just fun.

Arctos:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Okay, you take a little bit of extra time.

Gamemaster:Drive out, make the trip, go back.

Gamemaster:You know, it's a small extension to the drive.

Gamemaster:It's not much.

Gamemaster:You make the full turnaround to the right intersection.

Johnny:you you

Gamemaster:It's been a few hours at this point, and you've hit the...

Gamemaster:I want to say a limitation of automobiles in this time period.

Gamemaster:They don't get very good miles per gallon.

Anzu:Mmm.

Gamemaster:You've driven quite a few miles, and you are running out of gas.

Gamemaster:So I'm going to need another survival check if you can find a gas station to pull over to fill up at.

Johnny:Oh, much better.

Benny:I feel like we need modern spells like create gas.

Johnny:Much better.

Johnny:24.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Benny:Okay.

Gamemaster:With the 24, fortunately you do find a gas station in time before you run out of gas entirely.

Gamemaster:They're very few and far between, especially this far out from the city, so that is an actual concern.

Gamemaster:But eventually you do find...

Gamemaster:Like a rest stop area for trucks and the like to pull over and fill up a tank of gas.

Gamemaster:Can I get a perception check as you guys pull in?

Arctos:Yeah, I can roll one.

Benny:Receiver.

Arctos:Sorry, I'm just trying to get my spells out on https://btl.iridi.cc.

Johnny:also roll 27 to check out this gas station

Gamemaster:Whoever wants to perceive can't perceive.

Arctos:That's better than mine.

Gamemaster:Okay, with a 27, this gas station is kind of sketchy.

Gamemaster:Like, it looks not well-maintained.

Gamemaster:It looks a little broken down.

Gamemaster:There are only, like, two pumps, and both of them, like, the hoses look like they're kind of, like, kinked in places.

Gamemaster:They don't look particularly safe.

Gamemaster:With the 27, there's like, I don't know, you're just getting a vibe.

Gamemaster:It doesn't feel great.

Gamemaster:That said, it's a gamble if you don't stop here, if you go looking for another gas station, if you find one before you run out of gas.

Johnny:I say we just use this one, stay on alert.

Anzu:Absolutely.

Benny:Benny will exit the car.

Arctos:Sounds good.

Johnny:All right.

Gamemaster:Oh.

Benny:Also, for what it's worth, Benny would not be wearing his suit because obviously we're not at the pilgrimage yet.

Gamemaster:Nice, so you guys can pull into the station.

Gamemaster:Just so we can visualize things.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I would love it if you go to https://btl.iridi.cc.reddy.cz.

Johnny:Oh, no.

Johnny:We're going to get jumped.

Gamemaster:Right.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you got time.

Gamemaster:You don't need to... You can be in whatever clothing you like.

Benny:Oh my god, this gas station looks just like that parking lot.

Gamemaster:One moment.

Gamemaster:I'm just copying the square that I used for City Tripper so that I can use that as the stand-in for your car.

Gamemaster:There it is.

Johnny:you you

Benny:Let's get Benny on his HP bag.

Arctos:What's gas made out of in this world?

Gamemaster:No, it's gas, like oil that they've taken out of the ground and refined.

Arctos:Is it dead dinosaurs?

Gamemaster:Not necessarily dinosaurs, but it's made of organic matter, certainly.

Arctos:Okay.

Benny:Plants and automobiles.

Arctos:Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Arctos:We're going to get closer.

Arctos:Yeah.

Benny:Is this like we go inside to pay or whatever type thing?

Gamemaster:Yeah, absolutely.

Benny:Oh, is it?

Gamemaster:So somebody's going to have to go in and tell the person at the counter how much to put on the pump.

Arctos:Great.

Benny:Fill her up, please.

Johnny:That's exactly right.

Benny:All right.

Gamemaster:So who's going?

Johnny:Everyone stay calm.

Benny:Benny is fine going in.

Benny:We go by twos.

Arctos:What?

Anzu:Yeah, I'll go in with somebody.

Arctos:I'll go with Anzu.

Benny:You'll go in with him.

Arctos:21.

Benny:Okay.

Johnny:Okay, me and Benny will stay by the car.

Gamemaster:Can I get a perception check from those of you entering into the gas station proper?

Benny:Yeah, Benny will get outside.

Anzu:We enter!

Benny:Action mode.

Gamemaster:I unfortunately don't have a map of the interior of the gas station, so you're going to have to use your imagination.

Gamemaster:It is 7-11, effectively.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Anzu:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Okay, with a tool, another roll.

Gamemaster:Wasn't as good as the 21, unfortunately.

Gamemaster:So, the inside of this gas station is... Johnny was the one that had originally gotten weird vibes about this place.

Gamemaster:I think this doesn't help.

Gamemaster:There are a bunch of shelves that would normally be lined with, like, snacks and, like, chips and that kind of stuff that are almost entirely bare.

Gamemaster:Like you'll see a thing of chips hanging on an entire shelf that takes up the area.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:There are ice boxes in the back.

Gamemaster:It looks like this place was not renovated with the invention of freezers or refrigerators.

Arctos:Yeah.

Gamemaster:So any liquids that they would be keeping cool here would be in manually maintained ice boxes.

Gamemaster:Although with that perception check, I would say as you walk by them to head to the counter, they're all warm.

Gamemaster:They have not been stocked with ice.

Gamemaster:So there are some drinks in the coolers, but they are not cold.

Gamemaster:There is a kind of board-looking...

Gamemaster:Older human man, maybe like late 50s, early 60s, who's sat behind the counter.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:It looks like he's currently whittling something out of a piece of plastic, like a plastic rod or something that was broken off of something that he's just taking a small knife to and taking little plastic shavings off of.

Anzu:Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:He looks up when you guys walk in and says, Wishpomp, how much?

Arctos:What was... You know, I say the pump, and I say how much I expect the tank to cost.

Johnny:You.

Gamemaster:Two silver pieces would get you a full attack.

Arctos:Yeah.

Gamemaster:So, if that's what you're looking for.

Benny:I'll mark it off.

Arctos:Do that.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:While you're here, can I interest you in some homemade sex pills?

Gamemaster:But on sale.

Arctos:I'm celibate.

Gamemaster:One silver piece.

Arctos:Appreciate it, though.

Gamemaster:So?

Anzu:I think we'll have to pass on those today, but thank you for the offer.

Gamemaster:You're missing out.

Arctos:All right.

Anzu:Perhaps.

Arctos:What raiment does he have?

Gamemaster:He has a small raiment of the host.

Johnny:You.

Gamemaster:Like, maybe level 1, level 2, something like that.

Arctos:Cool, cool, cool.

Gamemaster:He will say, listen, you just gotta hang out while I verify that your money's good.

Gamemaster:You don't mind, right?

Gamemaster:Hang out for a sec.

Anzu:No, of course.

Gamemaster:Until he's behind the counter.

Gamemaster:It looks like he's fiddling behind the counter.

Gamemaster:He's got, like, a marker or something that he's rubbing on coins.

Arctos:Can I seek motive to see if that's actually what he's doing?

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:Roll a perception check.

Anzu:He's grabbing a gun.

Benny:Which one is it?

Johnny:you you

Arctos:Oh!

Arctos:Does Anzu also... What do you see?

Anzu:It's not really my strong suit.

Arctos:Oh, all right.

Arctos:How long is that going to take?

Gamemaster:But I just got to wait for the ink on the marker to dry, you know, like a minute or two.

Gamemaster:I've just had a lot of people come by with counterfeit shit, and then they dip before I realize what's wrong.

Gamemaster:So, you know, just working on stuff.

Benny:positively uh let me check what they are

Gamemaster:Can I get Johnny and Benny, while you guys are hanging out outside, also to roll a perception check, please?

Johnny:Me and Ben are out there.

Johnny:I'm like, listen, just hypothetically, if you had to worship one of the six evil gods, which would it be?

Anzu:Thank you.

Johnny:That's the wrong one.

Gamemaster:Good question.

Gamemaster:Pyre, Herald, Giant, War, Esoterica, and Regent.

Benny:Or it sounds fun.

Gamemaster:A War?

Benny:Or Regent.

Benny:Like, what does he do?

Benny:You know, Regent.

Johnny:Regents yeah it rules on itself nice.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Benny is too caught up in the question.

Gamemaster:He's actually thinking about it.

Gamemaster:Johnny, again, with a really good perception check, keeping Anaïs on a swivel, looking around.

Gamemaster:You realize now why the place felt particularly like there was just something off about it?

Gamemaster:There are tracks in the dirt leading to one of the cars in the parking lot.

Gamemaster:that are relatively new, which would imply that the vehicle had driven in here.

Gamemaster:But you don't see any footprints from out of the car, despite the fact that this is a pretty dusty area.

Gamemaster:You would expect to see something like that.

Gamemaster:And looking around, you didn't see anyone at the gas station other than you guys.

Gamemaster:And just as you're thinking, that's strange.

Gamemaster:Like, that's what didn't mess up.

Gamemaster:You note that it's this car, by the way, this white van on the outside.

Gamemaster:You catch a glint of light that reflects off of a scope on the inside of that car.

Johnny:Oh shit, get down!

Arctos:Oh.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Johnny:I dive on my companion.

Gamemaster:You...

Gamemaster:Dive on your companion.

Gamemaster:Roll a reflex save for me, please.

Johnny:Wait.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Would I have time to cast a spell instead of diving on him?

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:I mean, like, sure.

Johnny:Uh...

Gamemaster:But you cast him.

Johnny:I will cast illusory object and just put a brick wall in front of this car.

Johnny:Object appears to animate naturally, but doesn't... Actually, not a brick wall.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:So where are you putting the brick wall?

Gamemaster:Just like right here?

Gamemaster:One second.

Johnny:Can I put a two-way mirror around this car?

Johnny:so that we can see in, but they can't see out.

Gamemaster:What is the spell?

Johnny:I dropped it in the https://btl.iridi.cc.

Gamemaster:illusory object visual image of a stationary object the entire image must fit within the spell the object appears to animate naturally but it doesn't make sounds water would appear to pour down an illusory waterfall yeah I mean like

Johnny:This is at level two.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:It doesn't say it's static.

Gamemaster:Because, like, I wouldn't allow it if it were minor, like, minor illusion from D, because that specifies static, and I think it would be hard to justify a mirror specifically.

Gamemaster:I think I'll let you make a mirror.

Gamemaster:Like a one-way mirror where you can see in, but they can't see out.

Gamemaster:It is... God, it could be 20 feet big?

Gamemaster:That's ridiculous.

Johnny:That would be that.

Gamemaster:A 20 foot burst.

Johnny:And I would just like to sort of enclose enough that they can get out of the car, but that it looks like all of a sudden there is just this scary mirror wall around them.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Gamemaster:God, yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay, so you summon a mirror around the four of them, and so you would see that as you do this, at the same time that you notice this, the front door does open, and you watch as a...

Johnny:you you

Gamemaster:pretty well-dressed humanoid male, relatively large, wearing a mask to cover his face, steps out of the driver's seat.

Gamemaster:Not where you saw the glint of the scope, though.

Gamemaster:And... I'm gonna roll a seek check for him.

Arctos:Hmm.

Arctos:It says multiple people.

Johnny:As this happens, I just yell, Danger!

Arctos:Anzu.

Anzu:you can you can leave uh-huh

Arctos:Do you want to kill this cashier or do you want me to?

Arctos:This dude's gonna die.

Arctos:He's trying to trap us.

Arctos:He's gonna die.

Arctos:I can leave.

Arctos:Uh oh.

Johnny:Danger!

Johnny:We are in danger!

Arctos:That's the scariest thing.

Johnny:That beats it.

Arctos:Do you want to kill him or do I do?

Gamemaster:What is your spell, DC?

Arctos:You can leave.

Benny:You could leave.

Benny:That is so much... You're just going to see blood hit the fucking glass.

Johnny:That's 20.

Benny:As you're walking away, blood's just going to splatter.

Benny:Way too much blood is going to splatter.

Gamemaster:What is your spell, DC?

Gamemaster:Okay, so he gets out.

Gamemaster:A Giant mirror appears in front of him.

Gamemaster:And the first thing he does is try and figure out what the fuck is going on.

Gamemaster:And he does unfortunately notice that it is an illusion.

Gamemaster:Any creature that touches the image or uses the seek action?

Gamemaster:Yes.

Gamemaster:So he attempted to disbelieve it.

Gamemaster:Did you cast it at second level?

Johnny:I did.

Johnny:Yeah, I don't really know.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:I don't know.

Gamemaster:I mean, feels right to the touch is weird.

Benny:It smells like a mirror.

Gamemaster:Yeah, like, a mirror doesn't have smells, nor does it create sounds.

Gamemaster:But what's weird is it says that it feels right to the touch, but right before the picture that touches the image can attempt to disbelieve it.

Arctos:So it feels like a bear.

Gamemaster:Which feels strange to me.

Gamemaster:I mean, either way, he used the seek action to look around and did beat the DC, so unfortunately he does know it's an illusion.

Benny:Maybe just.

Johnny:Just hears me yelling, danger, we're in danger.

Gamemaster:That said, I think he still can't see through it.

Gamemaster:So he gets out of the car.

Benny:Thank you.

Arctos:Okay.

Gamemaster:And you hear that he calls back into the car and says, no, fucking idiots, it's just an illusion.

Johnny:It's not an illusion!

Gamemaster:And then he starts walking towards the edge of it, and you can see that other people get out of the car as well.

Johnny:You'll die if you walk through the mirror!

Gamemaster:You can try a deception check, but it is unlikely to work.

Johnny:Can I intimidate him instead?

Gamemaster:Yeah, you can try an intimidation.

Gamemaster:I'll allow it.

Johnny:Excellent.

Gamemaster:It's not an illusion.

Gamemaster:If you touch it, you'll die.

Gamemaster:That is ridiculous.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:So you yell out, it's not an illusion.

Gamemaster:If you touch it, you'll die.

Gamemaster:The guy that steps out of the driver's seat does not seem particularly fazed by that.

Arctos:And I will start.

Gamemaster:He's the one that already looked at it and noticed it's not an illusion.

Gamemaster:But you note that there is a bit of apprehension on the other two people that have gotten out of the car.

Gamemaster:Which I think would buy you enough time for your yelling at this point.

Gamemaster:The two of you in the store hear the yelling and see Johnny through the window casting spells.

Arctos:Yeah.

Gamemaster:I think that would be enough to buy you some time there.

Arctos:So I'll start to come out.

Benny:you

Arctos:Or do you want me to roll first?

Johnny:Justin.

Gamemaster:So I think at this point we're going to roll initiative.

Gamemaster:But I will let you guys start from the doorway.

Arctos:All right.

Gamemaster:I think that's fine for you to start with.

Gamemaster:Because the cashier would be over here.

Gamemaster:You've had enough time to move in.

Arctos:Minebird might be killing the cashier first.

Arctos:Not sure.

Gamemaster:Well, up to you guys to place where it is.

Gamemaster:Let me get a token for the cashier.

Gamemaster:We'll just say that this is also the cashier.

Gamemaster:He has different stats.

Johnny:Given this whole internet thing I've done, can I roll a performance initiative?

Arctos:Given that I was telling you I was praying, can I roll a religious... Oh, sorry.

Gamemaster:No.

Johnny:Yes.

Johnny:Well, you rolled a good initiative.

Gamemaster:Also, when were you telling me that?

Arctos:Can we just retcon that?

Arctos:I think it's pretty standard.

Johnny:I think you rolled a nat 20.

Gamemaster:It's just pretty standard.

Gamemaster:You're just walking around praying.

Arctos:How did I roll a 30?

Arctos:Oh, I thought I rolled a three.

Arctos:Oh, okay.

Johnny:No, I rolled a three.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you rolled a natural 20, plus 10.

Arctos:I was just like, what?

Arctos:Cool.

Gamemaster:OK, I just need to add this guy's .

Gamemaster:All right.

Johnny:Oh God.

Gamemaster:So with that, I'm going to begin.

Gamemaster:Like, you've cast the spell around these guys, and I've given it a little bit away with one of the guy's names being Burglar.

Gamemaster:But I think it is pretty obvious that these guys weren't planning on, like, just coming up for a chat, as evidenced by the fact that the driver gets out with a, I think a pistol in hand.

Gamemaster:Oh, actually, can I get a perception check?

Johnny:24 to see guns.

Gamemaster:Because it's not a pistol.

Gamemaster:It's something else.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:With the 24 to C guns, the burglar, the guy in the driver's seat that gets out, does have a gun.

Gamemaster:At first, it looks like a kind of weird...

Gamemaster:It's a pistol, but with a really long barrel that, like, looks a bit strange.

Gamemaster:With the 24, looking at it, it doesn't match up with, like, a normal-looking pistol.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:It looks like a bit of a, like, a pile of scrap, like, weird put together from different pieces.

Gamemaster:And it's got a bit of a blue glow to it, like, where you would expect the clip to be.

Arctos:No cool.

Gamemaster:It looks strange.

Gamemaster:Not a normal pistol.

Gamemaster:Also a weird thing for some guy at a random gas station to be holding on to.

Gamemaster:That said, we are going to start with Arctos.

Benny:you you

Gamemaster:It's your turn first.

Gamemaster:You come out of the gas station.

Gamemaster:You see the one-way mirror wrapped around the thing.

Arctos:OK, sorry, so the one one.

Arctos:So all of them are currently.

Arctos:behind the mirror, right?

Gamemaster:Yes.

Gamemaster:For the sake of spells and the like, you do not have line of sight.

Johnny:Wait, but they can't see through it?

Arctos:Okay.

Gamemaster:But you can walk through it.

Gamemaster:You know it's an illusion.

Gamemaster:They can't see through it.

Gamemaster:You can see through it, but you know how glass blocks casting spells and stuff?

Arctos:That's two of my actions.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Mm-hmm.

Arctos:I would make a strike.

Gamemaster:Okay, so you're going to attempt to strike him and it goes through the mirror and just kind of materializes.

Arctos:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:I'm going to say that he, because he cannot see you right now, he is flat-footed to you.

Arctos:Hell yeah.

Arctos:Love to see that.

Gamemaster:Sorry, he's off guard.

Benny:Oh.

Gamemaster:That's ridiculous.

Anzu:That's sick.

Johnny:Wow.

Anzu:That's sick.

Johnny:Back to back.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Arctos:And he's on fire.

Gamemaster:Critical hit.

Johnny:Nasty.

Arctos:It's not a Benny hit, but it's good.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:22 points of damage and some persistent fire is not bad, though.

Gamemaster:I mean, you can see through the mirror that you stabbed him with.

Gamemaster:You do a pretty good gash along one arm.

Gamemaster:He's wearing some armor, but this gets right through it.

Gamemaster:He's not looking great.

Arctos:Fantastic.

Johnny:um um

Gamemaster:That's the end of your turn, right?

Arctos:Yes.

Gamemaster:Okay, it's his turn.

Gamemaster:He yells because of a random... Sorry, what weapon do you use?

Gamemaster:A sword?

Gamemaster:Yeah, just a random sword comes through the mirror and slashes across the guy.

Gamemaster:He knows that this is an illusion, so I think he's going to step.

Gamemaster:Where is he going to step, actually?

Gamemaster:Yeah, I think he is going to step.

Gamemaster:I think he's going to do a controversial move.

Gamemaster:He's going to step.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:And then despite the fact that you're right next to him, I think he's going to go for Johnny because he saw Johnny cast the spell.

Arctos:And he's a little scared of this black bear.

Johnny:You don't have to do this.

Gamemaster:Right, of course.

Johnny:Hey, guy.

Johnny:Don't do that.

Johnny:It's an illusion.

Johnny:If you attack me, you'll die.

Gamemaster:He's going to... It didn't work on him the first time.

Gamemaster:He's gonna point his weird pistol at you.

Johnny:Try again.

Gamemaster:There is a burst of sound and a flash of blue light.

Gamemaster:And let's see if he actually hits.

Gamemaster:He should hit.

Gamemaster:He hits.

Benny:Oh.

Gamemaster:There is a burst of blue light and a...

Gamemaster:blue bolt of energy shoots out of this weird pistol and slams into you.

Gamemaster:And you are going to take... 6 points of damage!

Johnny:Is that doubled?

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's doubled.

Gamemaster:He only rolls 2d6 for this pistol.

Johnny:Oh, all right.

Gamemaster:It's not particularly strong.

Johnny:That was the crib.

Gamemaster:That was the crit.

Johnny:Ow.

Gamemaster:And seeing that that didn't seem to do much to you guys, I think he's just going to turn around and try and stab the bear with his third action.

Gamemaster:He has a little short sword that he's going to use.

Gamemaster:Because it is agile.

Gamemaster:That hits.

Arctos:Alright.

Arctos:Poo.

Gamemaster:You need to take 9 points of piercing damage.

Arctos:This is with Matt.

Gamemaster:Yes, that is worth now.

Arctos:Alright.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Otherwise, it would have been 4 higher.

Gamemaster:That's the end of his turn.

Gamemaster:Oh wait, sorry.

Gamemaster:He is on fire.

Johnny:Dead.

Gamemaster:He takes 3 points of fire damage.

Gamemaster:I forgot he was on fire.

Gamemaster:Let's make a recovery check.

Gamemaster:Oh, he puts out the fire!

Gamemaster:He's no longer on fire.

Gamemaster:But he did take 3 fire damage before that happened.

Benny:I just scrolled the map over to where the cashier was, and I just see Tanner's cursor just stuck on it, focused.

Arctos:Bye.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Next up.

Gamemaster:This mirror is really annoying.

Johnny:Whoa.

Gamemaster:You watch as someone that you did not see originally get out of the car, although you do see them do it.

Gamemaster:now because they have to because they would have shot you from inside the car but there's a mirror blocking their path so they can't see um so you watch as a fourth person does get out of the car um he's gonna also use he has another weird looking gun now

Johnny:Another sophisticated ambusher.

Benny:Oh, it's a musketeer.

Johnny:Oh, I hate that.

Gamemaster:This gun has a range increment of 200 feet, which is useless when he has to walk to within 20 feet of you in order to use it, because he can't see anything.

Gamemaster:Which is good.

Gamemaster:Thank you for that.

Gamemaster:He's going to use one action to designate you as his prey.

Gamemaster:But you are his prey.

Gamemaster:Yes, that is exactly what they're thinking.

Benny:Ah, the spellcaster.

Benny:He must be the most powerful of them.

Benny:Kill him first.

Arctos:Oh, that's worse.

Benny:Oh my god.

Johnny:Oh, this hurts.

Gamemaster:I added the dice stats mod back into this so we can track to see.

Gamemaster:Yeah, so he has a much larger version of the weird scrap thing that the other guy is carrying.

Gamemaster:This thing launches a slug.

Gamemaster:And it'll just straight up punch right through a piece of your chest.

Gamemaster:Doing 26 points of damage.

Gamemaster:That was two actions.

Gamemaster:He's going to use his third action to do a running reload and run away.

Johnny:Yeah, that sucked.

Gamemaster:Please, game, let me move him.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Johnny, it's your turn.

Johnny:Ow.

Johnny:First, just...

Johnny:Taking a bunch of laser shots, I'll yell, this is not an illusion, you're all gonna fucking die!

Johnny:Uh, and then I'll cast Lingering Composition.

Johnny:Or, Courageous Anthem.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Nice.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Johnny:Uh, I think that's just a crit at this level.

Gamemaster:A 29, the spell DC, is it a level DC or is it a spell DC?

Benny:you

Gamemaster:What is it supposed to be?

Johnny:I thought it was a level base.

Gamemaster:DC, standard difficulty DC of a level equal to the highest level target of your composition.

Gamemaster:So level four, which is 19.

Gamemaster:So 29 is a crystal.

Johnny:Excellent.

Johnny:Get a courageous anthem off.

Gamemaster:Thank you.

Johnny:Then... That is so uncool of that guy.

Johnny:I will cast Soothe on myself.

Johnny:I'll Flourish Cast this.

Johnny:I've taken a lot of damage already.

Johnny:Great.

Johnny:Third action, I will use one for all on a young ward, Benny, so I can, as a reaction, aid him in an attack from 30 feet away.

Arctos:Thank you.

Gamemaster:okay absolutely that answers

Johnny:Or, well, whatever.

Johnny:He doesn't have to stay within 30 feet.

Johnny:That's my turn.

Benny:uh the sophisticated burglar already went unfortunately the ambusher is five feet too far i'd have to use two actions to get close um how about

Johnny:um you

Benny:gonna have to leave the ambusher up probably so i'm gonna stride here and then we're gonna murder this guy with double slice fair enough uh

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:I will aid him.

Gamemaster:Double slice.

Johnny:The aid checks will not break this one.

Gamemaster:You're being aided.

Gamemaster:Roll your diplomacy check.

Gamemaster:Yeah, unfortunately that is a failure.

Gamemaster:But you get some temporary panache.

Arctos:Ooh!

Benny:Me or him?

Gamemaster:No, you don't get anything.

Gamemaster:Sorry, Mike.

Benny:Okay.

Benny:Still repicked.

Gamemaster:Oh, that's a crit.

Benny:Deceased.

Johnny:That's a big hit.

Benny:Wait, is this guy bloodied?

Benny:No, just injured.

Gamemaster:No, just injured.

Benny:Deceased.

Benny:Remove him.

Gamemaster:Deceased.

Gamemaster:Full-on ice pick lobotomy.

Johnny:That's a big hit.

Gamemaster:Just right into the head.

Gamemaster:His brain ceases function and he collapses to the ground.

Benny:Okay.

Johnny:you you

Benny:I mean, technically my turn because it was a two action thing, but the target does not exist for my second hit.

Arctos:Thank you.

Gamemaster:You could go for Arctos.

Benny:That is pretty certain.

Gamemaster:You have Reach, right?

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:No, it has to be the same target.

Gamemaster:Well, that's the only thing stopping you.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Next up is Anzu.

Anzu:Anzu's going to reach one hand out towards the cashier and just kind of twiddle his fingers a little bit and cast Phantom Pain.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:He needs to make a will save.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Anzu:I've presented it.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:Yes.

Gamemaster:Attempt this will save.

Arctos:I'm sorry, Leo, that's nothing left.

Arctos:I ate the potatoes, Leo.

Arctos:You can't have any.

Benny:Oh.

Gamemaster:Incredibly fast.

Anzu:So he is going to take damage.

Anzu:He's going to take 5 points of mental damage.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:He's sickened 2.

Johnny:um

Anzu:And he has 1d4 persistent mental damage.

Gamemaster:And he gets... Absolutely.

Anzu:Uh, and I say to him, uh, I know that doesn't feel good.

Anzu:If you stay right where you are, you'll be fine.

Anzu:And, uh, I'll, uh, stride to here.

Johnny:um

Anzu:And then can I, like, uh,

Anzu:take cover behind the car in this spot or something like that.

Gamemaster:Absolutely can.

Gamemaster:One second.

Gamemaster:There is an action to take cover, right?

Gamemaster:Yes.

Anzu:Oh.

Gamemaster:You gain greater cover.

Gamemaster:So you have a plus four circumstance bonus to your AC.

Anzu:Okay, I think I would have to be here instead, if it's an action.

Gamemaster:Oh, yeah, it is an action.

Gamemaster:I mean, you could not take the action.

Gamemaster:You could just hang out behind the car.

Gamemaster:It's just, you would get the... Gotcha.

Anzu:No, I would like to, I just, I didn't have that extra five feet.

Gamemaster:Is there, like, an actual effect I could give you?

Arctos:Bye.

Gamemaster:Nope.

Gamemaster:Something to make.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Gamemaster:That's the end of your turn.

Gamemaster:That brings us to the cashier.

Anzu:and

Gamemaster:I'm going to make another will save for him to see what he feels like doing.

Gamemaster:He got a 21.

Gamemaster:I think he feels like he would be smart to just not participate here.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:So he's just going to put down the gun that he was pulling out from behind the counter and then kind of just sit back down, which is going to be the end of his turn.

Arctos:Thank you.

Gamemaster:So he's going to take some mental damage.

Gamemaster:He takes two points of mental damage.

Gamemaster:He is bloodied.

Gamemaster:Let's attempt a recovery check.

Gamemaster:He does not recover.

Gamemaster:It's Heavy One's turn.

Johnny:I love that.

Gamemaster:Heavy One is going to take an action to seek, because right now they think that this mirror will kill them if they attempt to walk through it.

Benny:the one smart guy the two dummies gonna you fucking morons it's not real they're like he's dead now I don't know maybe it was maybe it was real I haven't heard from him boss boss are you there

Anzu:That is pretty convincing.

Arctos:They heard his screams.

Gamemaster:Okay, so... He did roll well, but it did...

Gamemaster:In their defense, from their perspective, he was just standing next to it, and then a sword came out of the mirror and attacked him.

Gamemaster:So, who knows?

Gamemaster:Also, he is dead.

Gamemaster:Like, he is dead.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:It was not an illusion.

Johnny:They would die.

Johnny:Oh, come on!

Benny:The fog of War.

Gamemaster:He rolled well on a seek check, so he knows it's an illusion, but it did tax him in action.

Gamemaster:So then, I don't know how well this is going to go for him, but he's going to spend... He has to spend two actions.

Gamemaster:I think he runs out.

Gamemaster:I'm going to roll a d4, even as Benny odd as Johnny.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:Thank you.

Gamemaster:He's over there.

Johnny:Oh, that was definitely the wrong move on that dude's part.

Arctos:Ha ha ha!

Gamemaster:He doesn't know.

Gamemaster:He sees a child.

Arctos:Ha ha ha!

Gamemaster:He sees a child and he sees his dead friend next to a bear.

Gamemaster:So in his head, he's thinking, that bear just mauled my friend and is now going to maul that child.

Gamemaster:I can take advantage of this to kill that child.

Benny:15 points of damage.

Gamemaster:Wait, who's taking 15?

Johnny:We got a car.

Gamemaster:Oh, you're right.

Gamemaster:You're taking an attack of opportunity as he walks into range.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Okay, 15 points of damage.

Gamemaster:He's still standing.

Arctos:What are we going to do with this other car, guys?

Johnny:We got to kill him.

Anzu:Smiler.

Gamemaster:It's Sophisticate Heavy 2's turn.

Gamemaster:Listen, if you guys just go around stealing cars, you can do that.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:He also rolled well, so he spent the action.

Gamemaster:I think he's going to run out the exact same... Yeah, we're going to go there.

Arctos:Hey, Leo.

Benny:You got to give me a couple of levels in order to make another one.

Gamemaster:Arctos, it's your turn.

Arctos:Cool, cool, cool, cool.

Arctos:I'm going to cast... Give me one second.

Arctos:I have a dog stepping on my glass.

Benny:I just looked over at the camera and I just see him on top of you.

Arctos:All right.

Johnny:Hello.

Arctos:Bailey is on a work trip, so he's extra clingy.

Arctos:All right, I will cast... Benediction!

Arctos:So that will give me and Benny Boy some health.

Arctos:I will then step, and then I'll strike this gentleman.

Benny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:It's...

Johnny:um um

Arctos:Sorry.

Arctos:Cool, cool, cool.

Arctos:Great.

Gamemaster:14 points of damage, absolutely.

Arctos:And Duffy's my turn.

Gamemaster:Similarly injured, but he's still up.

Gamemaster:Okay, that brings us to the Ambusher.

Johnny:you you

Gamemaster:The Ambusher doesn't have a view of Johnny anymore.

Gamemaster:So I think he's going to move his hunted prey to Benny.

Gamemaster:And then take a shot.

Benny:okay that's true

Gamemaster:with his Railgun.

Gamemaster:It rolled very poorly.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:And then he's going to use his third action to Running Reload.

Arctos:Why does it say plus four for the breastplate but doesn't mention at all the benediction?

Arctos:That's kind of fucked up.

Gamemaster:Because the Benediction didn't change the result.

Arctos:Yeah, but neither did the breastplate.

Gamemaster:It did, he missed by four.

Arctos:Yeah, but he also could have missed by five.

Gamemaster:But he didn't miss by five.

Gamemaster:If he had missed by five, it would show both.

Arctos:Might as well have.

Arctos:Might as well have, you know.

Gamemaster:No, okay.

Gamemaster:Johnny, it's your turn.

Johnny:Yeah, I will... First action, I'm going to demoralize a sophisticated heavy one.

Johnny:Do some good old demoralization with performance.

Johnny:I will just yell, it wasn't an illusion, your friend's already dead.

Johnny:It was against their will, DC.

Gamemaster:A 17 against their Will DC.

Gamemaster:Sorry, who was that against?

Johnny:Sophisticated heavy, you won.

Gamemaster:His Will DC.

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, that does not beat his Will DC.

Gamemaster:So that is a failure.

Gamemaster:He is not frightened.

Gamemaster:He's already walked through the mirror.

Gamemaster:He knows it won't kill him.

Johnny:Alright, well then I will just cast Illusory Creature.

Johnny:I will Flourish Cast this.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:Jesus Christ, it's an essay.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:This is just a fig.

Gamemaster:Generates.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:What creature are you generating?

Johnny:So right where we'd be flanking with Benny, I want a mirror version of the guy that Benny just killed, like dripping blood.

Johnny:And he's just like slavering and he just screams in this dude's face, It wasn't an illusion!

Johnny:I died!

Johnny:right here, so you'd be flanking with young Benjamin.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Right there?

Johnny:And I believe as part of this spell, I can... I think as part of the...

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Arctos:I like how our two spellcasters practice demonic mind games.

Arctos:They're like, let's fuck with people.

Arctos:Let's break their souls.

Anzu:I do both.

Anzu:Sometimes I just throw stuff at them.

Arctos:That's true.

Johnny:As part of that, we'll make an attack.

Johnny:That was wrong.

Johnny:I need to make an attack, not just roll damage.

Johnny:I'm so sorry.

Gamemaster:And I just instantly kill him.

Benny:Oh.

Johnny:It hits with a strike.

Johnny:I think that would be my spell attack.

Johnny:I'm using needle darts.

Gamemaster:It uses your spell attack modifier for attack rolls.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's fine.

Gamemaster:Target takes 3d4 plus 1 metal damage if it hits.

Gamemaster:It crits.

Johnny:So double that.

Johnny:20 points.

Gamemaster:No, I know.

Benny:And two bleed damage.

Benny:Oh, wait, no, that's the critical success.

Arctos:Yeah.

Benny:Wait.

Anzu:He used needle darts just to be able to make a spell attack, but he actually attacked.

Gamemaster:I'm just quickly reading through it.

Gamemaster:I don't know if you actually get to double it.

Gamemaster:I'm trying to figure out if this is a spell attack.

Johnny:So the illusion can cause damage by making the target believe the illusion's attacks are real.

Johnny:If the illusion creature hits with a strike... So it'd be 20.

Gamemaster:With the strike.

Gamemaster:Okay, then yeah, I'll give you the doubled.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Gamemaster:So that 10 is doubled.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:He is looking injured despite the fact that nothing's actually hit him.

Gamemaster:He's just mentally more injured.

Johnny:And then... Final action.

Gamemaster:Oh, and he's off guard because he's being flanked.

Johnny:I'll look at Anzu and I'll say, all right, it's all you.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Anzu:Thank you.

Johnny:And I'll use one for all on Anzu.

Johnny:So if he makes a strike or an attack roll, I'll aid him.

Gamemaster:Penny, it is your turn.

Johnny:I can aid with everything with this ability.

Benny:um at the risk of being opportunity attacked a bunch and leaving my bear friend uh with these two i will attempt to delete one of them with double slice the one that is flanked huh

Gamemaster:Which one are you trying to delete?

Arctos:Delicious.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:That makes sense.

Gamemaster:Because he's flanked, that hits?

Benny:13 points of damage.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:He is now bloodied.

Benny:Ooh.

Benny:Unfortunately... Actually, I don't know.

Benny:I guess we'll see towards the end.

Benny:Oh!

Benny:Whammo!

Gamemaster:That one critically hits.

Benny:Get punked, idiot.

Benny:Get punked.

Benny:Have an awful time.

Benny:26 points of damage, and they are Enfeebled 1 and Clumsy 1.

Gamemaster:He is actually still standing, but he's not looking good.

Benny:This was the...

Benny:polytool.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:He is mortal.

Gamemaster:He is in danger of the persistent fire damage just killing him at the end of his turn right now.

Benny:In that case, yeah.

Gamemaster:Because he's also on fire.

Gamemaster:Because you set him on fire.

Gamemaster:God, I don't know how you have to, like, hit somebody over the head with a bludgeon hard enough that they get set on fire, but the nine-year-old child did it.

Arctos:It's the banner.

Arctos:The banner does it.

Gamemaster:Oh, right, it's the banner.

Benny:yeah uh benny doesn't like being the target of a gun at range so benny will be the target of a gun at close and benny will that is okay

Gamemaster:He saw a flag and just instantaneously combusted.

Gamemaster:You are going to take two attacks of opportunity while you move.

Gamemaster:I'm just letting you know.

Gamemaster:These guys don't have guns.

Gamemaster:They didn't get guns.

Gamemaster:So the first one hits.

Gamemaster:So you take ten points of slashing damage.

Gamemaster:It would be more, but somebody can feed ten points.

Gamemaster:And then the other one makes another strike and that one does hit.

Anzu:I unleash psyche.

Gamemaster:So you're going to take an additional 10 points of slashing damage.

Johnny:Mind bird!

Benny:Yes.

Gamemaster:That's the end of your turn, yeah?

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Gamemaster:Atsu, it's your turn.

Gamemaster:Okay, your psyche is unleashed.

Arctos:MacBird!

Anzu:I stride to... Do I have line of sight on sophisticated heavy one from where I am right here?

Gamemaster:Um... No.

Johnny:I will aid him.

Gamemaster:There is an illusory creature in the way.

Anzu:How about now?

Gamemaster:Now you do.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Anzu:Okay.

Anzu:Well, the first thing I'm going to do is cast an amped telekinetic projectile at the...

Anzu:Yes.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Anzu:Oh, no.

Johnny:God, the aid rules are terrible out here.

Johnny:What is happening?

Anzu:I don't think that's going to help me.

Johnny:I don't think so either.

Gamemaster:It doesn't, unfortunately.

Gamemaster:But Johnny gets some temporary panache.

Anzu:Oh, man.

Gamemaster:I'm so sorry, that does miss.

Arctos:give a hero point.

Anzu:I mean, I do.

Arctos:I don't know if you want to use it or not.

Benny:I don't think you have to hit this guy that bad.

Anzu:I'm not going to use it yet.

Arctos:Yeah, it was just more for fun.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:And then in my heightened sense of awareness, I feel the waning life force of the sophisticated heavy.

Anzu:And I just kind of cast one arm back over my head as a sideburst heads in his direction.

Anzu:And he has to make this basic reflex save.

Johnny:Nice.

Arctos:Kobe.

Gamemaster:Who else?

Arctos:Yes.

Gamemaster:Whoa.

Arctos:Fucking suck it.

Johnny:Yeah.

Anzu:he takes five points of damage thanks Benny did most of the work on that one

Gamemaster:That is enough to take him out.

Gamemaster:His brain explodes.

Gamemaster:And he is dead.

Benny:Nice job, Anzu.

Johnny:Einbird Kill Count!

Johnny:Ding!

Arctos:My bad.

Gamemaster:All right.

Gamemaster:Next up is the...

Gamemaster:It's the cashier's turn.

Gamemaster:The cashier wholeheartedly thinks he's bleeding out right now.

Gamemaster:He's just like laying on the ground in the fetal position in pain.

Gamemaster:That's the end of his turn.

Gamemaster:He's going to take two points of mental damage.

Gamemaster:Attempt to recovery check.

Gamemaster:He fails it.

Gamemaster:He's going to continue to take mental damage.

Anzu:And.

Gamemaster:It is heavy two's turn.

Gamemaster:I think heavy two's just going for the bear that's right in front of him.

Arctos:He doesn't want to surrender.

Arctos:It's not going well for his people.

Gamemaster:No, well, at this point he's watched you kill two of his friends, so I think he's enraged by that, if nothing else.

Arctos:No, that's fair.

Gamemaster:Also, he wants your cool car.

Arctos:That's true.

Benny:We do have a baller-ass car.

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, he's not good at this.

Gamemaster:So... Yeah, you know what?

Arctos:Just give it to Chris.

Gamemaster:We're just looking for a crit.

Gamemaster:We're just going to roll two more attacks, one with the sword, one with his fist, and both of those miss.

Anzu:Oh, that one almost did.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Almost, but not quite.

Gamemaster:And that's the end of his turn.

Gamemaster:Arctos, it's your turn.

Arctos:Arctos feels no pity for this treacherous slime of a man.

Arctos:So he will attack him.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Arctos:Strike!

Gamemaster:He dodges.

Gamemaster:He doesn't dodge.

Gamemaster:You hit him.

Arctos:13 points of damage.

Gamemaster:He takes the damage.

Arctos:I'll strike again.

Arctos:Yes.

Gamemaster:But that doesn't hit, unfortunately.

Arctos:That's fine.

Arctos:I might as well strike again.

Arctos:All right.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Just copied what he did.

Benny:A child.

Arctos:That is my turn.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Arctos:That's my turn.

Arctos:Except I hit.

Gamemaster:That's true.

Gamemaster:You did hit once.

Gamemaster:It's the ambush's turn.

Gamemaster:I think he's just gonna try and shoot Benny in the face point blank.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:The child... He saw the child murder people.

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:This child is running him down like a Terminator with a pink and a poly tool.

Benny:I mean, I don't know.

Benny:I guess just some people don't have a heart.

Gamemaster:Most terrifying thing this guy's ever seen.

Benny:There's no sympathy.

Benny:There's no empathy.

Benny:Just straight sociopaths.

Gamemaster:That is a hit.

Gamemaster:So he's going to deal some damage.

Gamemaster:That's going to be 19 points of damage.

Arctos:I'll heal you when I get the shots, buddy.

Benny:Yeah, I've got something coming too.

Gamemaster:I think he's going to follow it up with an attack with his Falchion.

Gamemaster:But he did poorly.

Gamemaster:And then...

Gamemaster:I don't think it's worth... It's not worth it for him to run away.

Gamemaster:He's going to spend his last action just to reload his railgun.

Gamemaster:That might be his last action.

Gamemaster:We don't know.

Benny:Oh, wait, is last actions to... What are the... Okay.

Gamemaster:His third action is he's reloading his railgun.

Gamemaster:Oh, that's a manipulate, isn't it?

Gamemaster:That's a manipulate, so he's going to do a running reload anyway.

Gamemaster:You still get the attack of opportunity, but he is going to run.

Benny:Yeah, we'll just...

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:That's a hit.

Benny:16 points of damage.

Gamemaster:16 points of damage.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:He's looking injured.

Gamemaster:He's still staying, but he's definitely looking injured.

Gamemaster:Now it's Johnny's turn.

Johnny:First, I will sustain this illusion I got going on, which gives him two actions.

Johnny:One... Oh, God.

Johnny:How do I move this guy?

Johnny:I don't think I have control over him.

Johnny:Josh, can you move him to flank just to get heavy too?

Gamemaster:Yeah, absolutely.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:And then his second action will be to scream, it's not an illusion, they're all dying!

Johnny:And then attack.

Johnny:That's the wrong spell.

Johnny:There you go.

Gamemaster:His second action is to play the harp.

Arctos:Yeah.

Benny:Bye-bye.

Gamemaster:That's a hit.

Johnny:Excellent.

Johnny:That'll be... I've got 15 different spells I've got to open here.

Johnny:This much mental damage.

Gamemaster:All right.

Gamemaster:Eight points of mental damage.

Gamemaster:He takes the damage.

Gamemaster:He's still standing as well.

Gamemaster:He hasn't been hit all that much this combat.

Johnny:One action.

Johnny:Second action.

Johnny:This guy's going to keep firing on us.

Johnny:I don't think I've tried... Second action all demoralized this person.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Why not?

Gamemaster:Go for it.

Johnny:Maybe this one would be better.

Gamemaster:I'll be back in a second.

Gamemaster:My cats have found the snacks and are trying to get it.

Arctos:Drums of War.

Johnny:One little hand drum.

Gamemaster:How are we doing?

Gamemaster:What did we get?

Gamemaster:22.

Gamemaster:That's a success.

Gamemaster:He's a feared... Him.

Johnny:Person is demoralized, one.

Johnny:And then, as my last action, I'll, uh, bon-mow him.

Johnny:Her, them, I'll bon-mow him.

Gamemaster:I just picked any random humanoid image that I could find.

Gamemaster:Um... That's a crit.

Johnny:That's it.

Johnny:So not only are they bone mode, but also they take damage because of my cutting rebuke.

Arctos:Because it's critted.

Johnny:They'll take eight points of mental damage.

Johnny:Eight points of mental damage.

Gamemaster:Why is it eight?

Gamemaster:Oh, right, because double.

Johnny:Mental damage to your level.

Gamemaster:Because you crit.

Gamemaster:I thought for a second that Johnny was a level eight when everybody else was a level four, and I didn't know how that happened.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Eight points of mental damage.

Gamemaster:All right, anything else?

Johnny:Nope, that's all my actions.

Gamemaster:Benny, it's your turn.

Benny:yay uh benny is going to continue to uh run this man down um i still have create santa which is nice and benny will strike just a regular don't even don't even worry about it

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Give up.

Gamemaster:Just a regular stray.

Arctos:No double strike.

Johnny:Regular old strike.

Arctos:Oh.

Gamemaster:That misses, unfortunately.

Benny:Benny is going to reroll using a mythic point.

Gamemaster:That misses too, I've decided.

Gamemaster:Don't read that.

Gamemaster:That misses.

Johnny:Oh, God.

Gamemaster:That is a crit.

Gamemaster:38 points of damage.

Arctos:Oh.

Anzu:That's a lot of damage.

Gamemaster:That is a lot of damage.

Benny:It is.

Gamemaster:He is bloodied.

Gamemaster:He is not looking great.

Gamemaster:He went from being okay but injured to on death's door.

Benny:So Benny will do his standard.

Benny:I mean, he can't take a step and have an intimidating walk because he's not like Michael Myers.

Benny:Michael Myers is like seven feet tall.

Benny:So when he walks, it's like he's running.

Benny:In order to keep up, Benny has to be like fucking literally ninja sprinting.

Arctos:Chucky.

Arctos:He has to be like Chucky.

Benny:So he ninja sprints over and finally gets... I guess he hit him on the move, but it's just like...

Johnny:yes

Benny:This isn't happening, by the way.

Benny:And he will stick a pick directly into the chest of the Sophisticated Ambusher.

Benny:And then... Where is... Drink of my foes!

Benny:And Benny will heal for 19... As the life energy is sucked out of the Sophisticated Ambusher's stomach.

Gamemaster:Nice.

Anzu:That's sick.

Johnny:That's it.

Benny:and into Benny's glowing green eyes.

Anzu:Right.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Benny:And that is Benny's turn.

Gamemaster:Next up is Anzu.

Anzu:Yeah, I'm going to send another telekinetic projectile this guy's way.

Anzu:At least I will attempt to.

Gamemaster:Which one is this, the Sophisticated Ambusher or the Heavy Ambusher?

Anzu:Yes.

Anzu:The Ambusher.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:I've hit him.

Gamemaster:He uses Benny as a shield.

Gamemaster:It doesn't work.

Johnny:Nice.

Gamemaster:You hit.

Anzu:Oh, that's pretty good.

Gamemaster:19 is way more than the 6 HP he had.

Anzu:A rock from the ground flies through his head.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Arctos:Kill, thief, kill.

Gamemaster:He is dead.

Johnny:Ding!

Johnny:The Mind Bird kill counter.

Benny:dicks would he be was he wasn't mortal before he died okay yeah

Gamemaster:He wasn't mortal before he died.

Gamemaster:He had 60 HP, so 6 is just 1 over the cutoff there.

Anzu:It also throws him 10 feet.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Brilliant.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:His body goes flying ten feet away from you.

Gamemaster:A rock shoots up out of the ground.

Arctos:Tanner, is this a prereq for your Pathfinder characters?

Gamemaster:He goes flying ten feet into the air, and his dead, limp body collapses on the ground.

Arctos:Because I feel like Rodic had a lot of things that pushed people back.

Arctos:Do you like shoving your foes?

Benny:Let me jerk him around.

Benny:Yeah.

Anzu:It just so happens that my basic move for both characters does have that as a possible thing that can happen.

Arctos:Mm hmm.

Anzu:Then I need to stride a little bit.

Anzu:Maybe we'll go here.

Anzu:And we will send a Psiburst at this fella.

Anzu:Boom.

Gamemaster:He succeeds, so he's only going to take half damage.

Anzu:Oh.

Anzu:I rolled pretty good.

Gamemaster:Takes three points of psychic damage.

Gamemaster:Sorry, bludgeoning damage.

Anzu:Those are my three actions.

Gamemaster:Anything else?

Gamemaster:It's the cashier's turn.

Arctos:Yeah.

Gamemaster:The cashier... One second.

Anzu:Josh, the spell is non-lethal, so if he gets reduced to zero, he is unconscious.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I know, I'm... He's unconscious.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:I can't believe Mindbird got another in combat kill and he wasn't even there

Gamemaster:So he just falls unconscious behind the desk.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:It's Heavy2's turn.

Gamemaster:I'm going to roll a d4.

Gamemaster:If it's a 1, he's going for his friend.

Gamemaster:Otherwise, it's Arctos.

Gamemaster:We're going for Arctos.

Johnny:Okay.

Arctos:Good thing that costs an action to decide.

Gamemaster:It does not cost an action to make up your mind who you're fighting.

Gamemaster:He crit!

Anzu:Analysis paralysis.

Anzu:Oh.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Arctos:Was that 20?

Arctos:Is that why?

Arctos:Okay, so I can't raise it.

Arctos:Dammit.

Gamemaster:26 points of damage.

Gamemaster:What kind of roll are the two other attacks he's going to make?

Gamemaster:Because it's not like he's going anywhere.

Gamemaster:Both of them are going to miss.

Gamemaster:He almost crit a second time.

Gamemaster:Hey, look!

Gamemaster:It mattered this time that you had Benediction.

Gamemaster:So it's showing it on the thing.

Arctos:It showed it earlier, too.

Arctos:It's very inclusive.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:And that is the end of this man's turn and or life.

Gamemaster:Arctos, it's your turn.

Arctos:Yeah, I'm just going to hold some time out for my friends to get over here.

Arctos:So I'll just strike.

Arctos:Oh, that misses.

Gamemaster:Lay down your arms.

Gamemaster:Give up.

Gamemaster:Surrender.

Gamemaster:Dodges.

Arctos:I'm going to step.

Gamemaster:He's going to take... Oh, you're stepping.

Gamemaster:Never mind.

Arctos:Yeah.

Gamemaster:He's doing nothing.

Arctos:Yeah.

Gamemaster:He was excited for a second there.

Arctos:Yeah.

Arctos:I figured.

Arctos:Then I will... This is a battle medicine.

Arctos:That's a 15, so it's a success.

Arctos:I forget... What do I roll for that?

Gamemaster:Yeah, if you're just doing the base.

Gamemaster:Treat wounds.

Arctos:Uh...

Arctos:Oh, I did the treat disease instead of the treat wounds.

Arctos:Can I just re-roll it and hope it's a success?

Gamemaster:The default treat wounds is you get 2d8.

Arctos:Okay.

Arctos:I think battle medicine... Do I add anything to it?

Johnny:Yeah.

Arctos:Or is that only for plus... Oh, no.

Gamemaster:No.

Anzu:Do you have the dedication?

Anzu:That's pretty good.

Arctos:No, I do not.

Arctos:Alright!

Gamemaster:Good roll.

Anzu:That's pretty good.

Arctos:Yeah, okay.

Arctos:That's my time.

Arctos:Well, we got the cashier.

Gamemaster:All right, Johnny.

Johnny:Man.

Johnny:I kind of want to interrogate this dude.

Johnny:I'll just jog up.

Johnny:Oh, yeah.

Johnny:I don't know.

Johnny:Isn't cashiers on in this too?

Johnny:Whatever.

Johnny:Also staying an attack.

Arctos:Yeah.

Anzu:He almost pulled a gun.

Anzu:Hell yeah.

Johnny:Also staying an attack with this dude's buddy.

Johnny:This is me attacking with this dude's buddy.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:Wild.

Gamemaster:Yeah, this is a crit.

Arctos:Yeah.

Johnny:12 points of psychic damage, mental damage.

Anzu:Kind of crappy rules there.

Gamemaster:He still takes the damage.

Johnny:I'll just throw in actual needle darts at him.

Johnny:Why not?

Gamemaster:Sure.

Johnny:He does have map, I believe.

Gamemaster:Misses.

Gamemaster:He lives another day.

Gamemaster:You're using...

Anzu:Now, I think this would still miss anyway, but I'm actually not positive that should have map on it.

Johnny:Oh.

Anzu:He sustains a spell so that the illusion can strike.

Gamemaster:Oh, yeah, you just sustained.

Gamemaster:You're totally right.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:I don't think you would fmap.

Gamemaster:It doesn't change in this particular instance whether or not that hits, but that is a good callout.

Johnny:That's very good to know going forward in the future.

Anzu:But you did have to use an action to sustain.

Johnny:We'll just... Yeah.

Gamemaster:Oh, it doubly doesn't matter because he's also not flat-footed to you, so his AC is too high.

Johnny:I'll just yell Where'd you get the guns?

Johnny:Where'd you get the cool guns?

Johnny:That's my turn

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Anzu:Thank you.

Gamemaster:That ain't certain.

Benny:Guys, this is not that difficult.

Benny:And Benny will move to move actions.

Benny:Actually, Benny will move up.

Benny:He is now wise to the game.

Benny:Oh, this is not a single move action.

Benny:Yeah, Benny will take an attack of opportunity or whatever.

Arctos:Non-lethally kill him, kid.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Non-lethally killed.

Benny:I don't think Benny knows how to do that.

Benny:Don't we have the cashier?

Benny:Okay.

Johnny:Yeah, we got the cashieries back there.

Gamemaster:Because he's frightened, that doesn't hit.

Arctos:And benediction.

Benny:It can only be one.

Benny:I don't even think non-lethal is in Benny's vocabulary.

Arctos:Well, it says benediction there, so, you know.

Gamemaster:Okay, well, either way, it doesn't hit.

Gamemaster:You can always... Benny can always try to do a non-lethal attack, but because he's not used to it, it's a minus two circumstance penalty to the attack.

Arctos:What do you mean not used to it?

Benny:This person's

Arctos:Is that just for flair or is that a real thing?

Gamemaster:No, in order to make a non-lethal attack with a lethal weapon, you take a minus two circumstance penalty to your attack.

Arctos:Oh.

Arctos:It's a lethal weapon.

Arctos:I forgot.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:Oh.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:You know, that's not bad, but bloodied... How long has this person been bloodied?

Benny:I want to know, like, do I do just two non-lethal attacks?

Benny:Take the minus two penalty to both.

Benny:Let's do that.

Gamemaster:Fun fact, if you have a non-lethal weapon and you want to try and kill somebody with it, you can.

Benny:Let's double slice.

Gamemaster:It's just also a minus two penalty.

Benny:Sure.

Benny:Yeah, we'll do a double slice with two non-lethal attacks.

Gamemaster:Okay, two non-lethal attacks.

Benny:That's one.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:That does miss.

Benny:Non-lethal, huh?

Gamemaster:That's a crit.

Gamemaster:That's a non-lethal crit.

Benny:24 points, and they're clumsy, one enfeebled one.

Gamemaster:They have 20 hit points.

Gamemaster:So you just bludgeon them over the head with a polytool in such a way that, like, in the movies when you knock somebody out and they just fall unconscious.

Gamemaster:He is unconscious.

Gamemaster:And that's the end of combat.

Johnny:Great.

Arctos:Yeah, fill it up.

Gamemaster:You guys are in a gas station.

Gamemaster:There are some corpses.

Gamemaster:There are some unconscious people.

Gamemaster:You do have gas on tap.

Johnny:I need to fill up the car, and then we can loot these bodies.

Arctos:So were there tracks of other bodies being dragged to this van?

Arctos:Is that what it looks like?

Gamemaster:No.

Arctos:Yeah.

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:No, no, no.

Gamemaster:You can roll a perception check to investigate the area around the van and all that kind of stuff if you like.

Johnny:Just going to make sure the car is filled up.

Benny:Yeah, can I go check out that bucko's railgun?

Arctos:Yeah I'm investigating the area.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Anzu:Josh, would an aerial view from Othello add any different pieces of information such that a perception from him would be worth doing?

Benny:Let's do a big search.

Gamemaster:I mean, what would you be looking for, I suppose, is the question.

Anzu:Yeah, I don't really have an answer to that.

Anzu:No, I'll just leave it be.

Arctos:Don't want to go tie up the catcher.

Johnny:Yeah, I got it.

Johnny:I'll make sure the car is all filled up and then go tie up the cashier.

Anzu:I'm not even sure we have to tie him up.

Arctos:They got big.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Johnny:Big cat.

Gamemaster:Big cat.

Gamemaster:Did I tell you guys that he has herpes?

Johnny:Oh, no.

Anzu:What?

Arctos:Oh, he's the cat herpes.

Anzu:Such a promiscuous fellow.

Gamemaster:I brought him to a vet because he's got a little bit of a squinty eye and a cold sore.

Gamemaster:And the vet said, yeah, he's got herpes.

Gamemaster:I know.

Gamemaster:Him and his brother both.

Johnny:Well, I don't think anyone gets herpes is.

Gamemaster:Terrible.

Arctos:Oh, I thought it was the feline HIV.

Arctos:No, that's much better.

Gamemaster:No, no, he has feline herpes virus.

Arctos:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Luckily, he can't give it to humans.

Anzu:That's good.

Gamemaster:But he's not happy about it.

Arctos:Same with feline HIV.

Arctos:I can't give it to humans.

Arctos:I did match with a girl on the apps when I first moved to New York.

Arctos:And she had a cat.

Arctos:And I was like, oh, that's great.

Arctos:And she's like, yeah.

Arctos:It's a rescue.

Arctos:It has feline aids.

Arctos:And I was just like, nope.

Arctos:Not interacting with you.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Arctos:I will not risk my cat.

Arctos:No, no, no.

Gamemaster:Yeah, unfortunately, that is transmissible to other cats, even if it's not transmissible to people.

Arctos:Yeah.

Johnny:you you

Anzu:Right.

Anzu:I'm going to... Oh, no, keep going.

Gamemaster:So you can't... I was just going to say, Jorge can't bring Misha around to my apartment because it's dangerous.

Anzu:Oh, herpes.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Arctos:Leo, stop.

Anzu:After Johnny gets the cashier tied up, I'll kind of put my hand on the guy's face and kind of rouse him.

Gamemaster:Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:You can do that.

Anzu:And I'll be like, oh, hey, hey, buddy, sorry about that.

Johnny:Hey, you, you're awake.

Anzu:and I'll point to the gun that's right over my shoulder right now that he was going for.

Gamemaster:I didn't even fucking do anything.

Anzu:I was like, listen, I knew about this, and that was not going to fly.

Johnny:I have a question.

Gamemaster:Roll a deception check.

Gamemaster:The DC is really low.

Johnny:When you say it's over your shoulder, are you holding it or are you like Mindbird levitating it over your shoulder?

Gamemaster:you

Anzu:Well, I figure where you and I are now behind the counter, and it was like,

Johnny:Okay.

Anzu:right there.

Anzu:I haven't moved it.

Anzu:It's just where it was.

Johnny:Okay.

Anzu:Well, my deception is horrible, but hopefully the DC is low enough that it doesn't matter.

Anzu:Straight roll!

Anzu:No!

Anzu:Do I use my point?

Arctos:Well, here's the thing.

Arctos:He was trying to slow us down, so he definitely was in on it.

Anzu:I'm not going to use it.

Arctos:Leo, stop.

Johnny:Josh, can I lean in really close until my nose is literally touching his?

Johnny:And I'll just go, you messed with the wrong guys.

Johnny:Now tell us everything or I'll fucking rip your eyeballs out.

Gamemaster:You can make an intimidation check if you like.

Gamemaster:You have a minus two circumstance penalty to it because he does not believe that Anzu knew that he had a gun.

Gamemaster:He does believe that you guys could kill him because you like waved your hand and he fainted.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:But he doesn't believe that you did that because you knew he had a gun.

Arctos:Wait, Josh, before he rolls, I'm just going to make a counter-argument.

Anzu:A lot of mental gymnastics, Josh.

Arctos:He should get a plus two circumstance bonus, because in his head he goes, these people are so fucking crazy, they're going to try to kill me, and they didn't even know I have a gun.

Johnny:it doesn't matter it was good it was a good roll it was a one

Gamemaster:That's a good point.

Gamemaster:Denied.

Gamemaster:Was that a 1 on your screen for half a second, too, before it rolled over to a 19?

Arctos:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Yeah, no, a 31 is totally fine.

Gamemaster:I like your circumstance.

Johnny:No, I want to know.

Gamemaster:Yeah, absolutely.

Gamemaster:And he says, okay, take whatever you want.

Gamemaster:Okay, you can... I need my eyeballs to see!

Johnny:Who were these guys?

Johnny:Where did they get those guns?

Johnny:Tell me, I'll rip your eyeballs out.

Gamemaster:Don't do that!

Johnny:This is not an illusion.

Gamemaster:They're just friends of mine from school!

Gamemaster:They gave me a gun, said that they'd hang out at the parking lot, they'd, you know, take people's cars and shit when they stopped by.

Gamemaster:I don't know what you want from me.

Gamemaster:I didn't acquire the gun.

Anzu:We need to know where they got them from.

Johnny:Are they part of a gang?

Gamemaster:I don't know.

Anzu:Oh, jeez.

Gamemaster:He just gave the gun to me.

Gamemaster:I really don't know.

Arctos:kill him kill him

Gamemaster:Listen, he's at 1 HP.

Gamemaster:If you slap him hard enough, he will die.

Johnny:What do you know?

Johnny:What were their names?

Johnny:Who were they working with?

Johnny:Do you have any information?

Gamemaster:I know their names, but I, Josh, did not come up with names for them because I didn't think that would be relevant.

Johnny:We're getting this gas for free.

Gamemaster:They have names, I promise.

Anzu:It's not.

Anzu:It's fine.

Johnny:Don't fuck with the poncho, boys.

Benny:Probably by default.

Gamemaster:Are you guys wearing ponchos?

Benny:Benny will.

Gamemaster:Oh, sure, okay.

Gamemaster:Yeah, no, take whatever, take anything you want out of the cash register, just don't kill me.

Gamemaster:And keep, let me keep my eyeballs.

Anzu:OK.

Anzu:I opened the cash register.

Johnny:They jumped us and we killed them.

Benny:How much is in there?

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:There's like 20 gold pieces.

Arctos:I say kill them anyway.

Arctos:No faces.

Anzu:I don't really want to kill him.

Benny:what what don't you want to be an inquisitor and if you call anyone else make sure they're stronger than those guys i don't know

Arctos:They will... Yeah.

Johnny:This is only good for us.

Arctos:I don't want to be a cougar anymore.

Anzu:All right, listen, when we're all done with our business around here, we'll untie you.

Arctos:Neat.

Anzu:But for now, we got to leave you over here.

Gamemaster:Okay, just let me keep my eyeballs.

Johnny:Maybe.

Gamemaster:I just, I need them for so many things.

Gamemaster:I don't even have a phone.

Benny:I don't know if you have any button or whatever you can push over here.

Benny:Just make sure they're stronger than those guys.

Gamemaster:I don't.

Benny:Okay.

Gamemaster:This was not some, like, super operation we were running.

Gamemaster:They just hung out in a van out front, and then when somebody pulled up on their own, they, like, came out, took their shit.

Arctos:killed them first, I'm guessing.

Benny:So you think it's just spur of the moment they handed you a gun and said we're just going to rob some people and they shot first?

Gamemaster:He and I, like, I knew them.

Johnny:Is this the first time they've done this?

Gamemaster:I know that they're working here.

Gamemaster:Like, I said that they could do it because they give me a little bit of the money on the side.

Gamemaster:You know, cards on the table and all.

Johnny:Is this an ongoing scene?

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:No, this is like fourth or fifth time.

Benny:So normally people don't die out front of your gas station?

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:Usually they just, usually they just, like, threaten to, like, shoot you and they say, give me everything in your wallet and then that's it.

Benny:Yeah, can I check if it's telling?

Gamemaster:And then you drive off.

Arctos:You guys should sense motives, because they were going to shoot first, weren't they?

Johnny:Let's check inside the van.

Arctos:I am... I had a 20 for investigating the area a while back when he asked.

Gamemaster:It's a perception to sense motive.

Gamemaster:You got a 23 to investigate the area.

Gamemaster:Yeah, looking around the van, it doesn't look like they dragged bodies or anything like that over here.

Gamemaster:No, I, like, looking inside the van itself, just, like, checking around on the interior, you find another one of those techno-junk plasma rifles, the, like, weird pistol things that he was shooting.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:And you find another 115 gold pieces in, like...

Gamemaster:small change to nomination and stuff, as well as, like, large bills, things that they had taken off other people.

Gamemaster:But other than that, not much stands out to you on the interior.

Arctos:So in total, how many plasma guns?

Arctos:Because there's a rail gun.

Arctos:And then what else?

Gamemaster:There's one railgun, and there are three plasma rifles.

Arctos:And what are these to hit?

Arctos:Are these decks to hit?

Gamemaster:One second.

Gamemaster:The TechnoJunk plasma rifle is...

Gamemaster:I don't know if it actually has stats, because it's specific to the person.

Gamemaster:I can figure out the backwards, but it works like any other firearm.

Anzu:Benny, do you have the, I think, what was it, 135 total gold to the group fund?

Benny:Hmm.

Anzu:Cool.

Anzu:I'd like to take one of the pistols just for the sake of, honestly, probably taking it apart.

Arctos:Oh yeah, we're grabbing all the guns.

Johnny:Yeah.

Anzu:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Arctos:After I'm done searching, I'm going to chat with the cashier.

Arctos:Because I was searching while they were doing that.

Arctos:I want to ask the cashier, after people get robbed and their cars stolen, how do they get back home?

Gamemaster:Sorry, what are you doing?

Anzu:No, I don't think they get their car stolen.

Gamemaster:Yeah, they get stuff out of their car stolen.

Gamemaster:They drive away.

Gamemaster:Like, we don't kill people.

Gamemaster:We just take their shit.

Gamemaster:Until, of course, you guys popped out and you started murdering them.

Gamemaster:That was new.

Arctos:Alright, alright, we're going to shoot first.

Arctos:And you were in on it.

Gamemaster:They weren't going to shoot first.

Arctos:You were just... Alright, well, don't point a gun at someone.

Gamemaster:They're just going to threaten to shoot.

Gamemaster:That's the whole point.

Gamemaster:Up until this point, we fired zero times.

Benny:Our apologies for thinking that the threats were entirely credible, and when confronted with opposing threats, they doubled down and started shooting.

Gamemaster:The whole point is to threaten people.

Gamemaster:That's what the gun is for.

Benny:Apologies for us thinking that we were in some level of physical danger.

Gamemaster:I wasn't blaming you for anything.

Gamemaster:You were just talking like you guys, like, it didn't need to escalate is all that I would say.

Johnny:Hey, I yelled if they went through the illusion, they would die.

Arctos:What?

Gamemaster:It did, clearly, and they're dead.

Gamemaster:It didn't.

Arctos:You guys didn't even rob us.

Johnny:And they went through the illusion and they died.

Johnny:So...

Gamemaster:I'm not talking back or anything.

Gamemaster:I was just saying, for the record, you guys attacked first.

Arctos:Kind of feels like you are.

Benny:I may have missed.

Arctos:What?

Arctos:Does he have a wallet?

Gamemaster:Yeah, he would probably have a wallet with his ID on him.

Arctos:I take the ID.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Arctos:And I read it out loud in his address to him and then I put it away.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Gamemaster:Okay, yeah.

Johnny:This black bear is reading his address.

Gamemaster:Great.

Johnny:He knows where he lives.

Gamemaster:You know where he lives now.

Arctos:Black Air Force One Energy Arctos.

Benny:I may have missed it.

Benny:What happened to the heavy that we tied up?

Arctos:Yeah, yeah.

Arctos:Let's wake him up now.

Gamemaster:He's still tied up and unconscious.

Benny:Oh, okay, cool.

Arctos:Let's wake him up.

Benny:Just to be clear on the searching, have we searched the bodies and the van specifically, or are those roles that are still to be done?

Gamemaster:You searched the van.

Gamemaster:I don't think you've, like, searched the bodies of the people that you've killed or anything like that.

Arctos:Can I search the bodies?

Johnny:Yes.

Gamemaster:Other than I know that you guys wanted to specifically pick up the pistols and stuff.

Arctos:Yeah.

Gamemaster:So... Yeah, absolutely.

Arctos:Can I search the bodies?

Gamemaster:And I need to, like... There...

Benny:Yeah, it'll.

Anzu:Josh, put one of those guns in my inventory.

Arctos:I got a crit search for 30.

Gamemaster:Yeah, absolutely.

Gamemaster:I can do that.

Benny:Absolutely.

Benny:Nevermind.

Gamemaster:I need to figure out how to convert the gun from monster stat block gun to player stat block gun.

Arctos:Sounds good.

Gamemaster:But there is a way to do that.

Gamemaster:I just have to go through and figure out how to.

Gamemaster:Because the way it exists in the... An NPC attack item just says it deals 1d6 damage.

Gamemaster:It doesn't say scaled off of dex or anything like that.

Anzu:Right.

Gamemaster:So I need to work backwards from it.

Gamemaster:But the short of it is that the plasma rifle deals split between fire and electricity damage.

Gamemaster:It's not a particularly high damage output, but it has reload zero.

Gamemaster:You don't need to reload it.

Johnny:but that's good.

Gamemaster:The other one, the railgun, has reload one.

Gamemaster:You do have to reload it.

Gamemaster:It does all of that stuff.

Gamemaster:It just does...

Gamemaster:It deals a little bit of additional precision damage on each hit.

Gamemaster:It's piercing with a little bit of precision.

Arctos:Sounds good.

Arctos:I got a 30 to search their bodies.

Arctos:Crit.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Well, you don't know if a 30 is a crit unless you rolled a 20.

Arctos:No, I rolled a 20.

Arctos:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Where did you roll it?

Gamemaster:Oh, you rolled it in Discord.

Johnny:um

Arctos:Yeah.

Gamemaster:I was looking in Foundry and I didn't see anything.

Arctos:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Yeah, okay.

Gamemaster:patting down their bodies.

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, it's not like any of these guys had a note that said, we got the guns from here, or anything like that.

Arctos:Damn it.

Gamemaster:It seems like the guy that you took out first, the sophisticated burglar, seems to have been the brains of this particular operation.

Gamemaster:I think that you would note that...

Gamemaster:All of the four of the people that were in the car do have one unifying item that they all have.

Gamemaster:It's this little token that is an S with a long-barreled rifle through it, making a kind of strikethrough of the S.

Arctos:Does that sound like the RunGunners or whatever they're called?

Johnny:Josh, would I be familiar with this from being in the ghosts and criminal shit?

Gamemaster:like S with gun going through.

Gamemaster:You can, if you like, roll a society check to identify if this is something you're familiar with.

Anzu:I could do that oh my god

Gamemaster:Do you have like a, what is your lore?

Johnny:I've never written this before.

Gamemaster:I will let you roll a society with, like, a plus two or a lore check, if you like, as for history.

Arctos:He's a theater kid.

Gamemaster:Because you might have run into this in your past, but it is not theater-related.

Arctos:I got an 18, so.

Gamemaster:An 18.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:I think an 18 is probably a success here.

Gamemaster:It's not a particularly high DC.

Gamemaster:That S symbol is the logo of Sable & Sons, which is a firearms manufacturer.

Arctos:Huh.

Johnny:interesting

Arctos:Interesting.

Arctos:And let's wake up the last guy.

Arctos:Hey, also, sorry, before we wake him up, does this gas station sell like gas containers?

Gamemaster:Like jerry cans?

Arctos:Canisters?

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Arctos:Yeah.

Benny:That's what I was going to ask for when we pulled in.

Arctos:Let's fill up the fucking trunk.

Benny:Yeah.

Arctos:Let's fill up the fucking trunk with gas.

Gamemaster:So that you never have to stop at a random gas station on the side of the road again.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Benny:Or run out.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I mean, you have...

Benny:I don't know what, I don't know what would have, if we ran out, they probably would have tailed us.

Benny:We would have ran out and pull off on the side of the road, fought them and then be like, well, now we have to walk back to the gas station, like a bunch of schmucks.

Arctos:Yeah, yeah, so let's fill this up.

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:free reign of the gas pump right now.

Gamemaster:So you absolutely can take, they're like, you know, 30 cherry cans.

Arctos:And we got a portable hole in the backseat, in the trunk.

Gamemaster:So you can just take your fill and chuck it into the trunk.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Arctos:Yeah.

Benny:God, there's always too much of one thing in a campaign, and we just have the capacity to take it.

Benny:Like, campaign one, we filled a portable hole with water.

Benny:We just had a straight-up portable hole filled with a boat and water.

Benny:The last one, Divex put 30,000 clocks in his shadow, and now we're taking fucking 300 gallons of gasoline in the back of this dumb fucking car.

Gamemaster:Drag your stolen cars to the party that you're sneaking into.

Arctos:You know what's really upsetting?

Arctos:We should have got a tow hitch so we could drag our stolen cars.

Johnny:Hey, guys.

Johnny:Always carry a backup car.

Gamemaster:Like, don't forget the destination that you're driving to.

Benny:In case one breaks down.

Gamemaster:Right.

Arctos:Oh, these are all people who tried to fuck with us.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Arctos:They tried to fuck us.

Arctos:Does your car want to go back there?

Arctos:All right, let's wake up this last guy.

Johnny:I smack him in the face.

Johnny:Wake up.

Gamemaster:This heavy is like one of the people that didn't have a firearm on them.

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:But he did have, like, the token on him.

Gamemaster:You do, you pick him up, you slap him around a few times.

Gamemaster:You give him one hit point via slapping so that he is awake.

Gamemaster:He's like, ow!

Gamemaster:How am I not dead?

Johnny:Yeah.

Johnny:How are, because you're going to tell us everything you, man, not really.

Arctos:By the will of the host.

Johnny:By the will of the poncho boys.

Johnny:Now who the fuck are you?

Johnny:Where'd you get the fucking guns?

Benny:It's called A Drink of My Foes, but it's more like I'm just taking life essence.

Johnny:Tell me or my young ward will slice your throat and drink your blood.

Johnny:You don't know?

Gamemaster:Why would you drink my blood?

Gamemaster:Are you vampires?

Gamemaster:It's daytime!

Gamemaster:Well...

Benny:There's no taste.

Benny:It doesn't...

Arctos:Keep in mind, while Benny talks, it's really like, it's more cold, drink of my foes.

Arctos:Wait, wait, wait, he said anything.

Gamemaster:Well, thank you for explaining the mechanics of how you would steal my life essence to me.

Johnny:Who are you?

Gamemaster:That's useful information.

Gamemaster:What did you want?

Johnny:I'm just going to like, I'm going to point him around.

Gamemaster:I'll tell you literally anything.

Johnny:Where'd you get the guns?

Gamemaster:Are you going to kill me?

Johnny:And why did you attack us?

Arctos:What is your most embarrassing secret?

Johnny:Is that scene from the Goonies?

Benny:One time, I put it all in a blender, and I poured it over the...

Johnny:And then I blamed it on the dog.

Arctos:You don't actually have to tell us something, Josh, but... Good, good, good.

Johnny:Dark Arctos.

Gamemaster:He is not having a good time right now.

Gamemaster:I think he will tell you literally anything you ask.

Gamemaster:He'll tell you some embarrassing story about shitting his pants in the second grade or something.

Arctos:Break his wool first.

Arctos:Yeah.

Arctos:This is Black Air Force.

Arctos:Arctos.

Johnny:Dark Dos.

Benny:Darked.

Arctos:Arctos.

Gamemaster:Dark dose.

Arctos:No, it's just toast.

Johnny:Why did you attack us and where did you get the guns?

Arctos:Okay.

Gamemaster:We attacked you because you looked like you had money and also the first person we saw was a child so we figured it would be pretty easy to steal from you.

Johnny:Dumbass.

Gamemaster:He dies.

Johnny:I still have the other way to bring it back.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Johnny:Where did you get the crazy guns?

Gamemaster:We bought him.

Johnny:From who?

Gamemaster:Let me roll to see if this guy knows who they bought him from.

Anzu:Yeah, this guy is one of the idiots.

Johnny:We spared the wrong guy.

Johnny:What?

Arctos:Not our fault, the boss got eviscerated.

Gamemaster:I don't know.

Gamemaster:Some Lark dude.

Gamemaster:I know his first name was Lark.

Arctos:What's a lark?

Gamemaster:That's all I got.

Arctos:Larg?

Arctos:Where?

Arctos:Where'd you buy him?

Gamemaster:Hallia?

Arctos:Where in Hallia?

Gamemaster:Like, some random neighborhood Deosil.

Johnny:You think if we let you live, you can hook us up with your contact?

Anzu:Thank you.

Gamemaster:No.

Gamemaster:I was not the one who originally made the deal with him.

Johnny:Okay.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:Oh, shit, wait, sorry.

Gamemaster:Yeah, I could totally do that for you.

Benny:Mm hmm.

Arctos:He's lying to us.

Johnny:I flick him in the forehead.

Gamemaster:Dude, I don't know.

Gamemaster:I was not the guy that, like, bought the guns.

Johnny:What do you know?

Gamemaster:I don't know that it was a mistake to try and rob a child.

Johnny:Oh, we should keep that.

Arctos:What's this?

Arctos:And I hold up the coin.

Gamemaster:Because the child might have a friend who's a bear.

Gamemaster:We got it from the guy that sold us the guns.

Arctos:What's this?

Arctos:And I hold up the coin.

Arctos:So how much is this car worth?

Gamemaster:He said that we could use that to, like, identify.

Benny:That's fun.

Benny:Oh, cool.

Gamemaster:So if we went to go purchase more guns, they would know that we were in, like, their gun buyers club, whatever.

Gamemaster:Not a lot.

Johnny:We'll keep that.

Benny:Gun buying club.

Gamemaster:Looking at it, there are two cars in this lot other than your car.

Gamemaster:There's the van that they got out of, which is a pretty rusty-looking piece of crap.

Gamemaster:It would drive, though.

Gamemaster:You might be able to get a few thousand for it.

Gamemaster:And there's the car that you imagine is the cashier's.

Johnny:Hmm.

Arctos:you you

Gamemaster:And that one's in slightly nicer shape, but it's the low-end economy version.

Gamemaster:Kind of like the City Tripper.

Gamemaster:That might be worth a few hundred.

Benny:What's the story with the pal in there?

Benny:You guys tell him to just stall or whatever and you guys do your business?

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Benny:Do you know him?

Gamemaster:I don't know.

Gamemaster:Boss did.

Benny:Okay.

Johnny:What was your boss's name?

Johnny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:One second.

Gamemaster:Dominic.

Gamemaster:Dominic Crosby.

Benny:You guys didn't work for anything larger?

Gamemaster:Not that that really matters because he's dead.

Benny:So you guys just...

Gamemaster:What for?

Gamemaster:Cost of living is real cheap out here.

Arctos:Does he have a wallet?

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Arctos:Pull out his wallet.

Gamemaster:He lives in the same town as the cashier.

Johnny:Thank you.

Arctos:Do you have any roommates?

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Arctos:Do you have any live roommates?

Gamemaster:No.

Arctos:What you got back?

Arctos:Oh, you got a nice radio.

Gamemaster:Not really.

Gamemaster:I mean, I have a radio.

Johnny:Radio.

Benny:Counter-burglared.

Benny:They're counter-burgled.

Gamemaster:You know it's empty.

Johnny:I look at my companions.

Johnny:Are we taking these other cars or are we leaving them?

Arctos:I think we could leave him.

Anzu:They're crap.

Johnny:Okay.

Benny:Yeah.

Anzu:This guy doesn't know anything.

Anzu:This is small time stuff.

Anzu:I mean, let's get out of here.

Johnny:I drop the dude and start slashing all the tires.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Benny:Slashing all the time.

Benny:Well, I guess they could probably call...

Gamemaster:You're just stranding these guys here.

Johnny:Yep.

Benny:They could probably call someone further into town and have them come out.

Johnny:Hey, man.

Gamemaster:We have already established they don't have a phone.

Benny:Well, he doesn't have a... I guess he's walking back to town to go to a tire shop.

Gamemaster:Roll a nature or survival check.

Benny:I don't know...

Arctos:I look at the guy and then I flip a coin.

Anzu:Oh my god.

Gamemaster:Don't Anton Chigurh this guy.

Johnny:I got a 13.

Johnny:I can walk that.

Arctos:I'm not going to do anything.

Arctos:I'm just going to flip it and look at him and go, hmm.

Benny:I don't know.

Gamemaster:With a 13 survival, you know that the town on their ID is somewhere between 2 and 20 miles away.

Benny:Sorry.

Gamemaster:Unfortunately, you don't know more than that.

Johnny:They're fine.

Benny:I don't know why when Jorge said that, my brain mapped it to the wrong Western or Western-ish story.

Benny:I was thinking, don't of mice and men him.

Benny:I was like, wait, that's not true.

Arctos:Alright, I'm done with these guys.

Benny:He's not.

Benny:That's not.

Gamemaster:He might do that next.

Johnny:You.

Gamemaster:Who knows?

Benny:You know what?

Benny:We'll get together, and we'll start robbing people.

Benny:Yeah?

Benny:And you get to hold the gun this time.

Benny:I get to hold the gun.

Benny:All right.

Benny:I think we leave him.

Benny:Betty will say, I mean, very unfortunate what happened to your crew there, but...

Benny:You guys are playing with fire and being kind of horrific criminals and taking people's belongings.

Benny:So I don't actually feel that bad for removing several ounces of each of their brain matter.

Gamemaster:He removed all of it.

Gamemaster:I watched one of them.

Gamemaster:His head exploded and he went flying into the air.

Gamemaster:We can't even hold an open casket funeral for any of them.

Arctos:To be fair, I didn't kill.

Benny:Are you going to tell them that they fell down a flight of stairs into a collection of mines?

Johnny:We just got a new show.

Benny:I mean, you guys were committing crimes out here and ran into the wrong people.

Benny:We wanted to buy gasoline.

Gamemaster:Yeah, that's what I would have said if we could hold an open casket funeral.

Arctos:Alright, well, I'm done.

Gamemaster:But we can't, so I'm gonna have to bury him in a ditch.

Benny:We might be coming back through here in a day or two.

Gamemaster:I won't be here, I promise.

Arctos:i resonate does he resonate i feel hella guilty if he resonated right there all right

Benny:Just letting you know, it's not a threat.

Benny:If you want to say hi, we'll probably be moving back through and

Gamemaster:I'm not gonna be here.

Benny:Maybe get stronger people next time.

Johnny:All right.

Gamemaster:I guarantee it.

Gamemaster:You free me, you're never gonna see me again.

Gamemaster:No.

Benny:All right.

Benny:Well, I thought we were cool people to talk to if you want to.

Anzu:All right, guys, untie him.

Johnny:See you, guy.

Gamemaster:He saw you pop all of his tires, so I think he's just going to start running.

Gamemaster:He's not even going to look back to see how the cashier is doing.

Gamemaster:He's assuming everybody else is dead.

Gamemaster:He's just going to start running down the street.

Johnny:You should walk slowly, conserve water.

Anzu:I'll go in and... I'll go in and untie the cashier.

Johnny:Okay.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Anzu:You're going to have...

Gamemaster:The cashier does not know that he doesn't have a form of transport available, so he's not going to start running.

Anzu:You're going to have to walk home.

Gamemaster:Why?

Benny:Yeah, we got a crazy guy in the group that allows us to sharpen our threats better.

Benny:So we don't really know what he's going to do.

Benny:So we're sort of like the nice guy.

Benny:He popped all the tires, is what I'm saying.

Johnny:I come in waving my knife that I don't know how to use.

Gamemaster:He popped all of my tires?

Johnny:I pop them like I'll pop your eyeballs.

Arctos:I don't know.

Gamemaster:Please don't pop my eyeballs.

Benny:Yeah, normally it's...

Gamemaster:What is your fixation on eyeballs?

Johnny:I slowly back out of the gas station like this.

Benny:Benny will head to the snack aisle.

Benny:What kind of 1960s era snacks do we have?

Benny:He's looking for chocolate.

Gamemaster:Corn pops.

Benny:Mike is looking for corn pops.

Benny:There's no chocolate covered pretzels.

Arctos:Are there corn nuts?

Gamemaster:There would be... What's a corn pop?

Arctos:Are there corn nuts?

Benny:Oh, cattle.

Benny:There has to be cattle corn.

Benny:That shit's been made since the 1700s.

Gamemaster:There's definitely kettle corn.

Benny:Yeah, we'll grab that.

Gamemaster:Yeah, there's kettle corn.

Arctos:What about jerky?

Gamemaster:I'll say there's corn nuts.

Arctos:Is there some jerky?

Gamemaster:There's definitely jerky.

Gamemaster:Jerky is something they figured out pretty early.

Arctos:I'm going to get some corn nuts and some jerky.

Benny:We'll grab like a gold piece.

Gamemaster:There isn't a lot.

Gamemaster:This was not a well-stocked gas station before they started robbing people.

Gamemaster:They got sunflower seeds.

Gamemaster:They got some jerky.

Gamemaster:They got some corn nuts.

Gamemaster:They got kettle corn.

Gamemaster:I don't think there would be any chocolate because there's no refrigeration.

Arctos:I'm going to take...

Gamemaster:And they haven't figured out how to make chocolate not just melt in the heat.

Gamemaster:So, you know.

Benny:Fair enough.

Benny:Probably around a gold piece worth of snacks we'll steal, which I think is a lot.

Arctos:Yeah, I'm going to take a good amount of snacks.

Gamemaster:That's everything in the store.

Gamemaster:A gold piece worth of snacks.

Benny:Okay, never mind.

Benny:On the road again.

Arctos:I'm going to take all of them and then leave a gold piece and go, we're not criminals.

Johnny:We get back on the road.

Gamemaster:Oh, sure.

Arctos:Yeah, yeah.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Arctos:And then let's go.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Arctos:Alright.

Gamemaster:For what it's worth, it is funny saying we're not criminals after having stolen all of the gasoline this man has.

Gamemaster:But it's fine.

Gamemaster:Like, they did try to rob you.

Gamemaster:It's whatever.

Arctos:I feel like the gasoline was penance.

Arctos:But taking the snacks, that's just too far.

Gamemaster:Sure.

Arctos:That's overstaffed.

Gamemaster:Right.

Gamemaster:Of course.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Arctos:We passed the guy running.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:No, he's running the other way.

Gamemaster:He's running the direction he came from, because that's back towards the... He's going to make... He's going to try to make good on his promise of you never seeing him again.

Arctos:Let's go run him over.

Arctos:I'm kidding.

Gamemaster:But, you know.

Johnny:Hey.

Gamemaster:You've got a trunk filled with 300 gallons of gasoline.

Gamemaster:How many gallons fits in a jerry can?

Benny:I think five.

Benny:It's called a Johnny can.

Gamemaster:It's not actually called a jerry can, is it?

Gamemaster:What is it called?

Gamemaster:Oh, it is.

Gamemaster:It's a Jerry fuel can.

Gamemaster:They are... Okay, so you have 150 gallons of gasoline in your truck.

Arctos:typically holds about 5.3 gallons.

Gamemaster:Which is a ridiculous amount of gasoline to just be lugging around.

Gamemaster:But sure, you never need to stop at a gas station again.

Gamemaster:And you continue on your way towards the destination that is...

Gamemaster:The Pilgrimage.

Gamemaster:We don't need another survival check at this point.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:You're on the way.

Gamemaster:You really don't have to make any turns before you get to where you're trying to go, so it's just a matter of kind of waiting it out, eating some snacks that you took from the gas station, and just kind of chilling for another few hours.

Arctos:you you

Gamemaster:You do...

Gamemaster:With the efficiency or lack thereof of the engines, you do have to stop to fill up the gas tank again.

Gamemaster:But that's easy.

Gamemaster:You can just do that on the side of the road.

Gamemaster:Until you make it towards, like, start approaching your destination.

Johnny:I got one.

Gamemaster:Can I get a perception check from either Benny or Johnny?

Gamemaster:Because you two are in the front seat, so you have the best view.

Gamemaster:As you start pulling towards where you know the town to be.

Benny:Exclusive ore?

Benny:Nice.

Gamemaster:Both, if you like.

Benny:Nice.

Johnny:I got a mythic point.

Johnny:I'm going to use it.

Arctos:Can I try patching us up on the inside of the car?

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:You've got hours.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:You can spend the time to patch people up and stuff.

Arctos:Cool.

Gamemaster:That's fine.

Arctos:Alright.

Arctos:Can we assume I am able to patch us up with medicine checks?

Gamemaster:Yeah, your health can help.

Arctos:Can we also assume I got at least one crit out of 15 DC?

Gamemaster:Why?

Gamemaster:No.

Arctos:Because then I get a mythic point back.

Arctos:Can I just roll to see that?

Gamemaster:You can roll.

Arctos:All right.

Gamemaster:I'm not just going to say, like, yeah, you get a mythic point back.

Arctos:That's scary.

Gamemaster:Because you're not supposed to be able to just fish for it, you know?

Johnny:I got a 26 to perceive.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:You are... The suns have set.

Arctos:Yeah.

Arctos:All right.

Arctos:I got Mythic on the first one, so can we just...

Gamemaster:So you're fine.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Gamemaster:The suns have set.

Gamemaster:It is evening now.

Gamemaster:There is a little bit of an aurora in the sky because you're still in Calaria.

Gamemaster:This is still the host's domain.

Arctos:All right.

Gamemaster:But despite the fact that you are approaching a, you know, what should be a dead and abandoned old mining town,

Gamemaster:There are what look like spotlights pointed out from the ground up into the air as if to signal people to come to this location.

Johnny:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Very like outside of a casino type deal.

Gamemaster:Enough that you're still like 10 miles down the road and you can see it.

Gamemaster:These are bright spotlights.

Gamemaster:And as you continue further along the road and the city itself starts to resolve into view, you can see there is... Have any of your characters in your backstory been to Istria?

Johnny:um you

Gamemaster:I think the answer is no.

Gamemaster:Anzu, your hand is raised.

Anzu:Are we able to turn off the headlights of the car?

Anzu:I don't think I've been to Istria.

Gamemaster:You and Benny can make society checks if you like, because you are the most likely to have been exposed to this particular concept by virtue of having been in a university.

Anzu:Society?

Anzu:Is that what you said?

Gamemaster:Yes.

Johnny:I'll aid this man in his society.

Gamemaster:Are you trained in aid?

Benny:one for all

Gamemaster:Sorry, trained in society.

Johnny:I don't have to be.

Gamemaster:Oh, okay, then never mind.

Johnny:I have one for all.

Gamemaster:Then yes, go for it.

Johnny:Never mind.

Gamemaster:Right.

Anzu:Well, well, I rolled a 27.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Anzu:I don't know if that check affects my result.

Gamemaster:Do you have anything that prevents a negative, like a critical failure on aid, Johnny?

Johnny:No, I think that's a 26 now.

Johnny:I'm sorry.

Anzu:What are you going to do?

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:A 26 is enough.

Gamemaster:You're looking at it a little bit through silhouette, but as you get closer to the city, you can see that there are the one- and two-story buildings that make up the skyline of this town as you approach it.

Gamemaster:The buildings that would have existed back when this was a functioning lighting town.

Gamemaster:You can actually see a little offset from the skyline of the town itself in the distance.

Gamemaster:Excuse me, a large, what looks to be some kind of rock mover.

Gamemaster:I don't know the actual term for it, but if you've ever seen outside of coal mines and the like, the large conveyor belt into the huge crusher wheel that's used to break stuff up just on the side of the mountain there.

Anzu:you

Gamemaster:Unused, because this is no longer an active mining city.

Gamemaster:But there is something that does dominate the view.

Gamemaster:even as you approach.

Gamemaster:In the center of what would be the town, even like five miles out still, you can see that there is a structure that is under construction.

Gamemaster:There are scaffolding all around it.

Gamemaster:It seems like it's maybe three or four stories tall.

Gamemaster:It isn't quite a building because it looks like the vast majority underneath it is empty.

Gamemaster:Instead, there are what look to be eight

Gamemaster:armatures, legs of some kind, extending out from this platform that reach from about 20 feet up into the air, so that you see that there is this platform sat above eight legs on the ground, and then there are buildings built on top of the platform.

Gamemaster:And with a 26 in society, you would recognize this particular structure as being similar, at least to what your knowledge of an Istrian strider is, which is to say a...

Johnny:Well.

Gamemaster:At the largest, they are cities that are on legs that move around.

Gamemaster:This one is smaller than that, but it is cruise ship sized, so to speak.

Gamemaster:Like, certainly enough room on top of this thing to hold quite a few people.

Johnny:So it's a pilgrimage and we're going on it.

Gamemaster:It still looks like it's under construction.

Gamemaster:There's still scaffolding around it and the like, but it is clearly the centerpiece of whatever event is happening in the town right now.

Gamemaster:It takes up your view as you guys continue forward.

Gamemaster:And after a few more minutes, you start to pull into the town proper, into Ragged Roost itself.

Gamemaster:They're like a little sign that's rusted that says, welcome to Ragged Roost population.

Gamemaster:And at one point it was 1,000 to change, but it's been scribbled out and it just says zero now.

Gamemaster:But you are...

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:The town as it was had a main street and then a few streets that branch off of it.

Arctos:you

Gamemaster:It was not particularly sprawling at any given moment.

Gamemaster:So as you pull into the town's main street, you're not the only ones here.

Gamemaster:Can I get another perception check looking around as you enter into the town proper and what you're walking into?

Johnny:Wait, did me and Benny's perception checks not come for anything earlier?

Gamemaster:No, that was for seeing the Strider and all of that stuff as we're getting closer.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:I would also appreciate it if I could get a... That's so sad.

Gamemaster:If I could get a religion check from somebody.

Arctos:I will make a religion check.

Johnny:I will perceive things.

Arctos:This isn't about the host, I assume.

Johnny:Oh.

Gamemaster:I will give you the host focus for this.

Gamemaster:27.

Arctos:Gosh.

Arctos:25 for my religion.

Johnny:I have perceived a 27.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Absolutely.

Gamemaster:We'll do the religion check first, because that's, like, immediately noticeable.

Arctos:And...

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:As you guys cross into the city limits, there is this strange, unplaceable kind of pin-in-needles sensation at the, like, small of your back that's a little difficult to place.

Arctos:Sorry, just to clarify, if it's about the host and I get a success, I get a critical success.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Arctos:And if it's a failure, I just get a success instead.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:It bumps up the success by one level, unless it's a crit fail.

Arctos:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:You feel that weird pins-and-needles sensation, like the small of your back, and it takes you a second to notice what that is.

Gamemaster:I think the people in the back seats notice it first.

Gamemaster:They see that the raiment of the people in the front seats loses all of its color and turns into this weird, plain, matte gray.

Benny:you you

Gamemaster:Same thing for as you look around at the people in the back.

Anzu:Does it lose its shape?

Gamemaster:It becomes a uniform shape.

Johnny:is um

Gamemaster:It kind of becomes this dull, wavy, kind of almost incorporeal, like semi-transparent.

Gamemaster:with the religion check you would note that your connections to your gods your abilities hasn't gone away so it isn't harmful but there is a magical effect that is making it so that raiments from different gods are indistinguishable from each other yes Jorge

Johnny:um um

Benny:you

Arctos:I pull up my breastplate a little bit, and I look down, and I summon my three dots.

Gamemaster:Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:That's still there.

Arctos:Can I see them?

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Arctos:Do they still work?

Arctos:All right.

Arctos:I unsummon them and put my breastplate back.

Gamemaster:Mm-hmm.

Gamemaster:Okay, absolutely.

Gamemaster:So you noticed that the four of you are... Now you all have the same drab...

Anzu:Thank you.

Gamemaster:unidentifiable raiment.

Gamemaster:Similarly, for the perception checks looking outside, everybody outside, there are quite a few people who are just kind of roaming the street right now.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:The street has been set up to be festive.

Gamemaster:There are what used to be like oil street lamps that they have...

Gamemaster:from somewhere gotten electricity because this place needed to be updated and there are now like fairy lights hung from each of them there are banners hanging from the lamps that say pilgrimage welcome there are tables set up around that appear to have like hors d'oeuvres and champagne and the like there are people mingling

Gamemaster:both walking up and down the street, walking underneath this strider in progress under construction.

Gamemaster:There are a number of signs that are directing you off to what looks to be a parking lot, off to one side where it seems that people are getting situated and entering and the like.

Gamemaster:But the most noticeable thing is that everyone here is wearing a mask.

Gamemaster:All different kinds of masks.

Gamemaster:There's animal masks, there are completely plain masks, there are ornate masquerade-looking masks, and the like.

Johnny:you you

Gamemaster:But with your perception check with a 27th, as you guys are pulling towards the parking lot, I assume that you're like following the directions that are posted.

Benny:you

Gamemaster:You pass by what looks to be a line of people waiting to get in, not wearing masks, standing in front of a table where it looks like there are two people with masks available and checking invites.

Gamemaster:There are like hundreds of people here.

Gamemaster:This is not a small party.

Gamemaster:Yes.

Johnny:With the raiments, is it just the color and shape, or it's like the color, shape, and size too?

Gamemaster:Color, shape, and size.

Gamemaster:It is an equalizer of some kind so that you cannot identify the power or association of other people within the city bounds, you imagine.

Arctos:I wonder if there's some illegal raiment over here.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Arctos:All right.

Arctos:I swap my armor, pull out my hood from my poncho.

Johnny:Okay.

Arctos:I'm ready to go out.

Benny:I guess Benny's going to... It's irrelevant.

Benny:Benny's going to be suited up because he is...

Gamemaster:People are in generally elegant attire.

Gamemaster:This is a party.

Gamemaster:People have come dressed up.

Gamemaster:There are...

Gamemaster:You rolled pretty high on the perception.

Gamemaster:I think as you're walking through, a pattern you would have noticed is that there are quite a few people that look like there's one or two people dressed in suits and the like, surrounded by three or four people that you would guess to be bodyguards.

Gamemaster:You can't tell necessarily, like looking at direct power levels here, like to confirm, but the way that they're structured and walking and how there are people who are clearly armed...

Gamemaster:It looks like at least some of the people here have come with armed help.

Gamemaster:But quite a few members, like partygoers, are just dressed in suits and dresses and the like.

Johnny:All right.

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:You guys are getting in line?

Arctos:Mm hmm.

Gamemaster:No, you find a parking spot.

Gamemaster:It would have been difficult to find a parking spot if you were towing two other cars behind you.

Gamemaster:So it's good that you chose to leave those behind.

Gamemaster:If you find a spot, get out and then go join the procession to enter the party.

Anzu:Thank you.

Gamemaster:I think this is probably a good spot to end the session.

Benny:Sure.

Gamemaster:All right.

Arctos:I remember this Reddit post being like, help me.

Arctos:I don't know how to DM this group.

Arctos:One of them got attacked in 5e.

Arctos:It's like the pterodactyl race of people.

Arctos:And then one of them, one of their party members got killed.

Arctos:So when they came across the pterodactyl people again, the group got really vindictive.

Arctos:And they kidnapped one and then got it addicted to this mayo jar that they had.

Arctos:And then they force fed it magic crack.

Arctos:And everyone's like.

Arctos:I think you just have evil friends.

Gamemaster:Oh, boy.

Johnny:We didn't do that.

Johnny:We could have done that.

Gamemaster:No.

Arctos:No.

Gamemaster:You did pop all of his tires, though.

Arctos:No.

Gamemaster:That was unnecessary.

Gamemaster:Yeah.

Johnny:Hey, man.

Johnny:We were just trying to get gas.

Johnny:We were going to pay for it and leave.

Johnny:People were just trying to get gas.

Johnny:They were doing a bad thing.

Johnny:The Poncho Boys are all about anti-justice.

Gamemaster:Yeah, no, I'm not defending their actions.

Gamemaster:They were planning on robbing you.

Arctos:No.

Gamemaster:Technically, you were technically the aggressors, though.

Arctos:No.

Arctos:You can't point a gun at someone and then not be the aggressor.

Johnny:I saw it.

Benny:That's pretty crazy, yeah.

Johnny:I saw a gun and I feel like I acted correctly.

Gamemaster:Oh, you absolutely did act correctly.

Gamemaster:Also, there's no law enforcement that would take their side, so you're fine.

Arctos:Yeah.

Johnny:Crazy thing.

Gamemaster:Oh, before next session, you guys should send me your level 5 character sheets.

Benny:Why?

Gamemaster:Because you did level up.

Johnny:Yeah.

Benny:Oh, okay.

Gamemaster:You made it to the pilgrimage.

Gamemaster:Congrats.

Johnny:Oh, we get ASIs.

Anzu:I'm going to get smarter I go oh

Gamemaster:Right, because we're not doing gradual, so you just get a power bump all at once now.

Benny:Oh, Jesus.

Gamemaster:Yeah, you arrive at a party, instantaneously become smarter.

Johnny:Oh.

Johnny:Oh good, I get more hit points.

Johnny:I keep getting shot by things.

Gamemaster:Level 5, do you get level 3 spells?

Arctos:Yeah.

Johnny:I think so.

Gamemaster:Nice.

Johnny:Uh, ooh.

Johnny:Tanner, I was planning on taking both a haste and a slow.

Johnny:So don't.

Anzu:Okay.

Anzu:I was probably going to go more on the damage side.

Johnny:Don't worry.

Anzu:Because I figured that would be your thing.

Johnny:Yeah.

Anzu:Also, Josh, I think I might retcon my purchase of the staff.

Anzu:I was reading the staff rules, and the spells in the staff need to be on your spell list for you to be able to cast them.

Gamemaster:Oh, are those spells not on your spell list?

Anzu:No, I didn't know that, so I just bought a staff with water stuff because we're going to fight fire people, but I can't cast the water stuff.

Arctos:Hm?

Gamemaster:Oh.

Gamemaster:Totally fair.

Gamemaster:Okay, then yeah, you can just refund the dollar reduce.

Anzu:So... Yeah.

Gamemaster:And if you had something else you would have purchased instead, that's fine.

Anzu:No, there's only the four level 3 staffs, and they're all elemental-based and not really occult in any way.

Gamemaster:No, you're close, though.

Anzu:There's a level 6 staff that I like, but we're not quite there yet.

Johnny:I get such a great ancestry feat at this level.

Gamemaster:You're getting there.

Johnny:So excited.

Anzu:Oh, me too.

Benny:I got a decent one but now I have to actually pick between swords and picks well I can do the same there is there are picks that do bludgeoning damage

Gamemaster:Oh, no.

Gamemaster:Does the polytool count as a sword?

Anzu:Thank you.

Gamemaster:Which do you prefer?

Gamemaster:Crushing rune or pickaxe?

Gamemaster:Are there...

Benny:There's a lot more than swords.

Benny:Swords, the polytool is the only one.

Arctos:So, quick question on the spell Crisis of Faith.

Gamemaster:Yeah, there shouldn't be any swords that do bludgeoning damage.

Gamemaster:That's the wrong damage type for a pointy object.

Johnny:you

Gamemaster:Okay.

Gamemaster:Oh, that's the one that I love using on you guys.

Arctos:It's... Yeah, yeah.

Arctos:But it says you assault the creature's faith, riddling the creature with doubt and mental turmoil that deals 6d6 mental damage.

Arctos:Or 68 mental damage if he can cast divine spells.

Gamemaster:If the character can cast Divine Spells, you roll 6d8s for damage.

Arctos:What does that or mean?

Arctos:Does that... Oh, I was dyslexic with that.

Gamemaster:If they can't cast Divine Spells, you roll 6d6.

Arctos:I was like, that's 60... I was like, that's the same number.

Arctos:I don't get what... They're both mental.

Gamemaster:No, it bumps the damage die up one level.

Arctos:But when it's eights.

Arctos:Yeah, yeah.

Arctos:Once it's eights.

Arctos:Gotcha, gotcha.

Arctos:Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.

Gamemaster:Yeah, it's d6s to d8s.

Gamemaster:It is handy if you're going up against clerics or divine spellcasters or anything like that, which is why I give you a champion and then I use it on you.

Arctos:Yeah.

Arctos:Yeah, very rude.

Gamemaster:Which was not what I meant to do in that one shot, but I am happy it happened.

Gamemaster:For the record, like, I'm trying to think of, like, in this campaign when it would have been useful.

Gamemaster:A lot of undead spells count as, like, necromancy stuff count as divine spells for enemies.

Gamemaster:So if you're, like, looking in that general direction.

Johnny:Ooh, we got some fun stuff.

Gamemaster:I also think...

Gamemaster:I would probably ignore the clause that says that you can't cast it on another follower of the same deity, just because that would be overly restrictive in this campaign.

Arctos:Are there members of the Red Mantis or Praying Mantis Leg Strikes in this campaign?

Gamemaster:And also the host would be fine with you taking down other followers of the host.

Gamemaster:What are you looking at?

Benny:you

Arctos:Bone Flint?

Gamemaster:Bone flens, of course.

Johnny:Classic bone flow.

Gamemaster:I like a good bone flens.

Gamemaster:It's just such a dumb restriction.

Gamemaster:It has to be a weapon that is wielded by a member of the Red Mantis because you're imbuing the weapon with Achakhek's power.

Arctos:okay okay that's fair that's fair okay

Gamemaster:And Achakhek only cares about the Crimson Mantis, sorry, the Red Mantises.

Gamemaster:I think I would restrict it specifically to a weapon that does slashing damage.

Arctos:Ooh, I could get underlings.

Gamemaster:Because, I mean, what are you getting?

Benny:Or fans.

Gamemaster:Underlings?

Arctos:I could get hordes of underlings.

Gamemaster:What?

Arctos:I could get a horde of underlings.

Gamemaster:Why is it that every character you make in this setting just has minions?

Johnny:Oh no.

Gamemaster:Stop.

Gamemaster:Or both?

Arctos:Yeah, this will be fun.

Gamemaster:Mike wins.

Gamemaster:Mike already sent me his level 5 character.

Gamemaster:That means he starts next session with 4 mythic points.

Benny:Oh.

Benny:Yay.

Arctos:Alright.

Anzu:Oh my gosh, this is ridiculous.

Anzu:I believe so.

Gamemaster:But that's all the mythic points he gets for level 5.

Arctos:I have to go.

Arctos:He knows it's 11.

Gamemaster:Yeah, take care of your dog.

Johnny:See you guys.

Arctos:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Does same time next week work?

Gamemaster:Cool beans.

Arctos:How's the stream deck?

Gamemaster:I will.

Arctos:Did you use it?

Gamemaster:Yeah, I've been using it.

Benny:Yeah.

Benny:Oh.

Anzu:sick oh that would be good that'd be really good

Gamemaster:It works.

Arctos:You should press the Kill Benny button next time so you get the Robot Arctos.

Gamemaster:It's neat.

Benny:I don't know if we need that.

Gamemaster:I was adding in Discord integration so that I could mute myself and stuff, and I think I can add a button to mute Mike.

Gamemaster:So... You don't know if we need that?

Johnny:Peace.

Benny:I don't think we need that.

Gamemaster:It could be interesting.

Gamemaster:You know, could be useful.

Gamemaster:In a pitch?

Benny:I don't like pinches.

Gamemaster:Well, I'll have it just in case.

Gamemaster:I'll have buttons to mute everybody.

Benny:Yeah.

Gamemaster:Just in case.

Arctos:Adios.

Benny:Peace.

Gamemaster:See you.