2025-7-14 — Akasha

Josh:Hey, howdy.

Jorge:Hello.

Josh:How are you doing on this fine, stormy Monday Eve?

Jorge:Hello.

Jorge:How are you?

Josh:Doing well as well.

Josh:As unemployed life treating me.

Mike:Okay.

Jorge:Really nice.

Jorge:It is very nice.

Josh:That's good.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:You start August 1st.

Jorge:I'm here.

Jorge:I'm spitting on the server.

Jorge:Too bad.

Josh:I have no idea what you just said.

Jorge:August 5th, they want me to start on a Tuesday.

Josh:That, uh, sure.

Josh:Why not?

Jorge:Yeah, I'll ask questions.

Josh:Next weekend.

Jorge:Yeah.

Mike:Josh, I don't know if you're using the right mic.

Josh:I'm not sure if you're using the right mic.

Josh:You might be.

Josh:I'm not positive.

Jorge:I totally was like, don't worry about it.

Josh:Am I not using the right mic?

Josh:Or are you gaslighting me?

Mike:I would just double check.

Josh:Just like Jorge, I was also using the correct way.

Mike:Okay.

Mike:Because I just redid my wiring setup on my desk, so I joined, and it sounded like both of you were 15 feet away, and I was like, is my audio fucked?

Jorge:I'll be right back.

Jorge:I'm going to try swapping my ethernet.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:I did, like, five minutes ago, I lost internet.

Josh:Because weather, I suppose?

Josh:I don't know.

Josh:It came back.

Josh:I'm just hoping it stays that way.

Mike:Well, it sounds like a good reason.

Josh:Tanner is the game master.

Josh:Actually, no, he's the dungeon master.

Josh:Because this is 5e.

Josh:Can I ask you guys what your characters' names and classes are, or are those a secret?

Josh:I just want to update the dice mod.

Josh:You can say no, and then I'll just update it as it happens during the session.

Mike:Uh...

Mike:No, I don't have a name yet, so...

Jorge:So for me, fun fact, I've been using a faulty Ethernet cable.

Josh:Oh, okay.

Jorge:I think it broke somehow.

Josh:What?

Jorge:I was only getting about 80 megs.

Jorge:Even my last few sessions, I've been having Internet issues, as you guys remember.

Jorge:I just swapped using the Ethernet that my PlayStation does.

Jorge:And I went from 80 megs to 600 megs.

Josh:It sounds like you had the, um... Really?

Jorge:Same cats.

Jorge:I bought them both at the same time.

Jorge:Bought them both at the same time.

Josh:You just got a faulty cable.

Josh:That sucks.

Jorge:Guess so.

Josh:That really sucks.

Jorge:Yeah, I think it broke.

Jorge:I run it under my carpet.

Jorge:I don't know if it got pinched or something.

Josh:Maybe.

Josh:I mean, good that you found out, I suppose.

Jorge:But yeah, yeah.

Jorge:It was pissing me off.

Jorge:I was like, I have like a gig.

Jorge:Oh, I noticed it then.

Noah:I got a haircut a couple of weeks ago, but thank you.

Jorge:You're looking fresh and young.

Noah:Thank you.

Noah:You did.

Josh:It continues to be a nice haircut, is what he was saying.

Noah:Thank you.

Noah:What's funny is Jordan, right?

Noah:The second I logged on last time, he goes, nice haircut.

Noah:And it was on it.

Jorge:It's still just so fresh.

Jorge:I'm sorry.

Jorge:I couldn't discern the difference.

Noah:The guy did a great job.

Noah:I, I was very surprised.

Jorge:So you'll find my character name.

Jorge:I don't want to spoil it, Josh.

Josh:Yeah, that's fine.

Jorge:I'm a barbarian.

Josh:Okay.

Mike:No, okay.

Jorge:You can just put my name as Strong if you want.

Jorge:Yeah, just put it as Strong.

Josh:Strong?

Josh:Absolutely.

Jorge:That's fine with me.

Josh:Your name is Strong.

Josh:Now, I'm asking everybody for their characters' names and classes just so I can update the dice bot.

Josh:If you don't feel comfortable telling me now, you want it to come up in play, then that's fine.

Josh:It's up to you.

Noah:I will hold off on my name for a moment.

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:laughter laughter laughter laughter

Josh:Sure.

Josh:It's concerning me how I've asked three people what their characters' names are, and I got no, no, and I don't know yet.

Noah:Were you one of the no's?

Noah:Was it you?

Josh:No.

Josh:My guy's name is Amada.

Josh:He's a cleric.

Josh:It's not a secret.

Josh:I don't know why that would be a secret, to be honest.

Noah:The only option is that since we're all 5e, we only made characters we played before, and therefore we're just the TFC again.

Noah:I'm actually Kalista.

Josh:Entirely possible.

Jorge:But we were all different members.

Jorge:We didn't consult.

Jorge:I'm playing tech.

Josh:Oh.

Tanner:Ooh, spicy.

Josh:Okay.

Josh:Well, I know all of your classes.

Josh:Actually, that's not true.

Josh:I don't know Mike's class.

Josh:So his will be a complete mystery.

Josh:I'm going to have him down as witch for now.

Tanner:I don't even know Mike's name.

Noah:A lot of hard sounds in that name, I bet.

Mike:Pretty close.

Mike:No one does.

Jorge:Just Mike.

Mike:I just wrote it after Josh asked, hey, what's your character's name?

Tanner:That sounds about right.

Josh:thank you

Jorge:Yeah.

Mike:No!

Mike:How did he know?

Mike:I'm not changing it.

Noah:It's just four C's and then a T.

Mike:It'd be funny if I say, like, guys, I'm not changing it.

Mike:And then you see me, like, write something else down.

Jorge:Oh.

Mike:I'm just like, yeah, my name is Ocelus.

Noah:Thank you.

Tanner:I think that I get veto power as the dungeon master.

Tanner:Hmm.

Josh:Wait, is that something that the DM can do?

Mike:No, no, it's not Tanner.

Josh:Yeah.

Mike:Don't do this.

Mike:Joshua DeVito did so many.

Mike:One of my names was just intentionally a tongue twister.

Tanner:Hmm.

Josh:It sucked.

Mike:And then there's a name that I gave myself because of the way that the character was going to speak, that he would talk in the third person.

Mike:This was Otzel Shetludius, who spoke in the third person and was also a snake race, so his S's were extremely drawn out.

Josh:Of course.

Jorge:My favorite name was Fulkerson Ford.

Jorge:And that broke your computer scientist brain.

Josh:Because you took two actual memes and you, like, mixed them.

Jorge:I reversed it.

Josh:Of course it's bad.

Josh:And it was purposeful, too.

Noah:On Chris and Paul.

Josh:It was targeted.

Tanner:So, I've not studied very hard the changes that 2024 have brought, so we're going to have fun.

Jorge:Cool.

Noah:Ooh.

Josh:I've noticed that only one change in particular stood out to me.

Josh:They changed Counterspell.

Tanner:Right, I am aware that Counterspell is not as powerful as it once was.

Noah:Wow.

Josh:It's different in that a level 3 Counterspell can now feasibly stop a level 9 spell relatively easily, assuming the saves are in line with the level.

Tanner:Although...

Josh:There's a trade-off there.

Jorge:I know they changed some of the stuff with martial weapons.

Jorge:So there's like some basically like crit specialization type of thing.

Josh:Blowguns... Blowguns no longer get to add your strength mod.

Noah:I think they also... Oh.

Noah:What if I blow really... What if I have a strong esophagus?

Josh:Too bad.

Josh:I'm sorry.

Jorge:What if you got the strongest neck in a rat?

Mike:Yeah, what if you have a run?

Noah:Are you talking about Henrik?

Mike:Or hadn't reconnected?

Noah:If Henrik goes to a 5e sphere, he can't add his strength to a blowgun?

Tanner:Which we already knew.

Josh:Correct.

Josh:Well, no, Henrik would be... Any natives wouldn't be able to.

Noah:What if he just...

Josh:He'd be the best blowgunner there was.

Noah:Yeah, I think... I don't know.

Josh:Yeah.

Noah:A lot of it, I feel like some of it's similar, but... Like, some spells are better.

Noah:I think sleep, in my opinion, is a little better now.

Noah:Anyone can be a blade lock now.

Mike:Anyone?

Noah:Anyone.

Noah:Mike, you could be a blade lock.

Mike:You know what?

Mike:I should make a blade lock.

Mike:That would be cool.

Noah:Are you a blade lock, Mike?

Mike:I might be a blade lock.

Josh:Okay, but in this particular instance, are you like just a regular bladelock?

Josh:You're not anyone being a bladelock.

Josh:You are a bladelock being a bladelock.

Noah:He's... The Blade Lock.

Jorge:Mike, the narrative.

Mike:Why would I?

Jorge:He can play luck.

Mike:Why would I pick the anyone can be a blade lock thing and then make it just a normal blade lock?

Josh:I don't know.

Josh:Did you?

Mike:No.

Josh:Oh, okay.

Josh:I didn't even think about multiclassing.

Josh:I'm just like, I'm going to do everything exactly by whatever was published in the 2024 players guidebook, which is actually good because it really restricts your options, which is good because I didn't remember anything from five years ago or whatever.

Jorge:Yeah, I... I... Oh, no, you're good.

Tanner:Yes, I'm curious what everybody used to build their characters.

Noah:I mixed and matched, so I did the 2024 Wizard, and then I did a third-party gnome that was on 5e.

Mike:Some ass.

Tanner:Yes, I noticed that.

Tanner:But did you just do it manually, like you just did a manual build?

Noah:Yeah.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:I apologize that I wasn't able to find a great resource.

Jorge:I also, of course, started the book, I can see that.

Noah:That's cool.

Mike:What?

Jorge:I did D&D Beyond, actually.

Jorge:I only used one book.

Jorge:It was a book I got paid for on some Google team bonding event, which was just the 2024 book.

Jorge:And that's it.

Josh:Music.

Noah:Thank you.

Jorge:Made it really easy.

Jorge:And then I had... They don't let you... Fun fact.

Tanner:there you go hell yeah

Jorge:They don't let you easily add new backgrounds, even though they say you can add custom backgrounds.

Jorge:which I guess is to get around people doing homebrew content for the real content.

Jorge:And then they didn't, so they let you create one, but you can only add ability modifiers from the existing ones you have.

Jorge:So you have to take like the guards ability modifiers.

Jorge:You can't just put whatever you want there.

Jorge:And then what was it?

Jorge:They didn't let me add custom, like just an additional fee.

Jorge:So yeah, probably get around the stuff.

Josh:I remember very briefly trying to look into seeing if there was a way to, like, port over the 5e stuff into TNT Beyond, and there just isn't.

Josh:They make it as hard as possible.

Josh:On purpose, I assume.

Jorge:I think we really left 5e at the perfect time, because it seems like with their weird two new versions, they had this one, and then it looks like they just killed the open source community, which makes sense.

Tanner:I think you're right.

Noah:It feels like they were like, oh, this is a patch for 5e, but actually it's the new stuff.

Noah:But actually it's a patch, but it's the new thing.

Noah:And so now you just have people...

Josh:I mean, it is very remaster adjacent.

Josh:Pathfinder also did something similar where they came out with a 2.5E effectively that made a bunch of changes and is still confusing to this day.

Josh:But the reason that the remaster happened is also Wizard of the Coast's fault, so I, you know, stole them somehow.

Noah:Who... It's a matter of what.

Josh:I did it manually.

Noah:It's always Lizard's fault.

Jorge:What do you mean manually?

Noah:I think... I think I just used Dungeon Master's Vault and then Markdown.

Jorge:Do you just get like a blank character sheet instead?

Josh:I opened up a Google sheet and then I just wrote the stuff down.

Mike:I found one one that was okay.

Noah:like, any differences and have them open in a separate tab.

Noah:I think that some of the changes they made are really cool and, like, make some of the subclasses better.

Noah:Like, the Circle of the Moon is, I think, better now.

Noah:Some of it, I don't know.

Josh:I fully did not look at any of the classes other than the one I was going to play.

Noah:You can't... My...

Jorge:Okay.

Josh:Because it seems like so much information.

Josh:Did you get, like, a PDF of the book?

Josh:Or... Oh.

Noah:So they have all the stuff on 5e tools.

Mike:Yeah.

Josh:Fair.

Josh:That makes sense.

Noah:Yeah.

Noah:Yeah, so they have all the new stuff on 5e.

Noah:And they have them side by side, so you can go through it and see the changes.

Noah:My biggest gripe is that if you multiclass as a fighter, you can't cast a spell with an action surge.

Josh:What?

Noah:Yeah, action surge is specifically for...

Noah:Actions that are not magic, no.

Jorge:Okay.

Josh:Well, so can you do the spell first?

Tanner:But you could use your first action, right?

Noah:So you can't, like... So you can... You can cast a spell, action surge, attack with a weapon, but you can't, like, multi... You can't go wizard, fighter, and, like, cast a spell, action surge, cast a spell.

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:Hmm.

Noah:I definitely... No, I definitely didn't look directly into this five seconds after Tanner said we were doing 5e.

Mike:I think that makes sense.

Josh:I'm a little mad that they changed the rules, or they specified the rules for casting multiple spells with a spell slot on your turn, such that it is per turn and includes reactions.

Jorge:Thank you.

Noah:Okay.

Josh:So you can't cast a spell and then silvery barbs the person who you just cast the spell on to force them to fail the check.

Josh:which is just a really fun combo, and I think they should let you do it if you're willing to spend two spell slots.

Mike:Well, I think it's also annoying because, like, okay, Silver Early, Barbs, whatever, even if they deem that as OP, the utility of casting Counterspell, like, who the hell is going to have a 9th level Counterspell than, like, the caster?

Jorge:Okay, yeah.

Mike:What are they doing on their turn?

Mike:Are they, like, dancing?

Mike:And then they're, like, waiting with my reaction.

Mike:You know what I mean?

Mike:Like, if I let the Wizard cast something powerful and then also Counterspell, it's a whole purpose.

Mike:Why would they just, like, I can't wait.

Mike:And also, if you're an enemy...

Mike:You just wait until they cast something high level and then you cast something high level because they can't counterspell you.

Mike:You know they can't because they just use their spell slot.

Noah:They also, they, like, they really buffed Sorcerer, but then also nerfed Sorcerer at the same time.

Mike:And if you're...

Josh:There we go.

Noah:So, like, as bonus action, you can just increase your spell DC and get advantage on all spell attack rolls.

Noah:But then, with, like, Quicken Spell, it's the same thing, where if you cast a spell with a spell slot already, then you can only cast a cantrip, and vice versa.

Mike:But if you had a class that was a spellcaster whose primary method of doing damage was a cantrip, you could use counterspell effectively.

Jorge:Yeah.

Noah:You just Eldritch Blast constantly.

Mike:Oh, I didn't even think.

Mike:Yeah.

Mike:Eldritch Blast.

Mike:You could do that.

Tanner:Oh, I'm in trouble.

Noah:Mike's just tolling the dead constantly, just ringing that cowbell for the dead.

Tanner:So I'm thinking I'm going to cancel the whole thing.

Tanner:I think we're just going to play Overcooked for the next couple hours, and then we'll call it a night.

Mike:It's not even close to an overpowered character.

Josh:honestly fair.

Mike:He's OK.

Mike:He's a nice guy.

Jorge:I for one of the first times in my life did not try to build an entire character I just built a normal character yeah um

Mike:How about this, Tanner?

Noah:Yeah, so I'm a bugbear, and I have a glaive, and also...

Mike:If this character is too overpowered, let me swap in level 6 tech.

Tanner:I think that it'll be fine no matter what.

Tanner:You're so kind to me.

Mike:A normal character.

Tanner:Noah, you were not able to witness his character that he played when he came to my parents' house a couple months ago.

Jorge:Yeah, yeah.

Tanner:Or that was a year ago now, I guess.

Noah:Was it just that?

Noah:You had 20 feet of reach?

Tanner:But anyway, a lot of reach, a lot of strength.

Jorge:He had a mount.

Jorge:Which I guess I used it correctly, but it was very fast.

Tanner:Mount.

Jorge:It was a buckbear.

Josh:So you're saying you don't have 20 feet of reach this one shot?

Jorge:No, no, no.

Josh:No, not actually.

Josh:But I'm only barely exaggerating.

Jorge:And I had the War horse.

Tanner:It was probably 15.

Tanner:Was it not 15?

Josh:I think it was 15.

Josh:Right.

Josh:It was 15 on a War horse.

Jorge:I remember Tanner's brother and his friends look shocked when I got there and I started writing programs to calculate optimal damage.

Noah:I assume you had either... I assume you had either Sentinel or Warcaster.

Jorge:They were like, oh my god, Tanner, you were right.

Jorge:I don't even remember what it was, but it was a Pali...

Noah:Or, I'm sorry, Mage Slayer.

Jorge:I think it was like a Pallylock or something, Bugbear.

Mike:They nerfed me Slayer.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:Shoot, I guess we should play some Dungeons & Dragons.

Noah:Woo!

Josh:Oh.

Mike:Oh wow.

Josh:Do you want me to put something on in the background, or did you have music for the Dicebot, or none of the above?

Tanner:I have no music-related plans.

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:Hmm.

Josh:Would you like me to just put on some ambiance in the background?

Tanner:Go on ahead.

Tanner:Make it pleasant to start.

Josh:Okay.

Mike:You guys just hear I'm gas and cutting straight to the break.

Josh:Definitely not that.

Tanner:Don't play whatever the stupid vampire song is.

Tanner:I don't even know the name of it.

Josh:Dracula Flow?

Mike:Calling Dracula flow, calling Dracula flow, the stupid vampires.

Jorge:Dracula flow.

Josh:I had it been exposed to it semi-recently, not by choice, and I'm pretty confident it's elder abuse.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:Like, the old man in Dracula Flow clearly did not write that stuff, because you can hear people laughing in the bathroom.

Mike:It's voluntary.

Mike:You can see him reading it too.

Josh:Sorry, in the background.

Josh:Yeah, so I think that some children told their grandpa it would be cool if he painted weird stuff on his head and got really sweaty in a too hot room and just said unhinged shit for 20 minutes straight.

Mike:Do you want to know the truth, Josh?

Josh:Is it that I'm right?

Mike:Well, are you familiar with Filthy Frank, a.k.a.

Josh:Yeah.

Mike:Joji?

Josh:Yes.

Mike:That's his YouTube channel, is Plum Corp Records.

Josh:Oh!

Mike:There's a good chance he wrote most of the Dracula Flow lines.

Josh:So it's definitely Elder Abuse.

Mike:Mm-hmm.

Josh:Okay, good.

Tanner:Oh yeah, thanks very much.

Jorge:Oh, spicy music.

Jorge:Good job, Tanner.

Tanner:We've already peaked, I'm afraid.

Tanner:So what's funny is...

Jorge:Really cool world building.

Noah:i've been watching it

Tanner:It is inspired by this mini campaign that Critical Role has been doing recently, Age of Umbra.

Tanner:What's funny is I watched the first episode and was like, I want to do something like this.

Tanner:So then I started building, and then as I watched more of their episodes, I was like, they're doing the stuff that I came up with.

Tanner:So now it's heavily inspired.

Tanner:So anyway, it's all good.

Noah:which inspired which.

Josh:Did you go into it with the naming first?

Josh:Because I really like the fishing knot names.

Noah:Yeah.

Tanner:I...

Tanner:I went into it... Yeah, so I knew there were knots.

Tanner:I was like... Because they have these... In Critical Role, they have these burning pyres that have divine energy in them.

Tanner:But I wanted to do something with the actual weave energy.

Tanner:And then I was like, you know what?

Tanner:I got to name them after real knots.

Tanner:How fun would that be?

Tanner:So...

Josh:It is fun.

Tanner:I just looked up knots and then found the ones that sounded the most like they could be other things.

Tanner:Because I'm not going to use, you know, fishermen's or something like that, because that would be stupid.

Jorge:oh my gosh it's just like heat sorry

Josh:Yeah.

Tanner:But I found good ones.

Tanner:Anyway, let's do it.

Tanner:It has been approximately three centuries

Tanner:since the Tynan Collective lured the twin gods' slumber into a trap, harvesting their divine essence in a desperate attempt to escape from the dying world known as Eppo.

Tanner:As far as people know,

Jorge:you you

Tanner:They were somewhat successful in that at the time something escaped from the crystal sphere and in doing so sent Eppo into a more rapid and chaotic spiral of decay and destruction.

Tanner:Not wanting to see the whole world slaughtered and torn apart, the other twin god, Vigil,

Tanner:sacrificed themselves and dispersed their divine power throughout what remained of Epo.

Tanner:They granted some of their more devout followers the gift of creating what are now known as knots, concentrated and tangled up portions of what is left of the weave that create

Jorge:Okay.

Tanner:a barrier against the dangers of EPO in its current state.

Tanner:We zoom in on one such area that, due to its geographical positioning and some of the natural phenomena around it, has managed to be relatively successful in this very dangerous world, Trilene.

Tanner:Trilene is a relatively large settlement, a population of a couple thousand people, and it's made up of three different knots, the first one being, of course, Trilene Prime.

Tanner:This was the first one to exist in this space.

Tanner:It was created just moments after Vigil gave his gift to the world.

Tanner:There's also Albright.

Tanner:and Masthead, the other two knots.

Tanner:We're going to zoom in.

Tanner:It is currently the morning.

Tanner:The day cycle can be kind of hard to tell at times.

Tanner:There's constant cloud cover in the skies.

Tanner:Multi-colored lightning bolts occasionally flash, mostly silently, through the clouds.

Tanner:And there's a constant dimness to the world.

Tanner:But there is definitely a difference between day and night.

Tanner:a lot of the light within Trilene is provided by the three knots, which emit a facsimile of sunlight that is able to provide life and energy to people and plants and other things as if they were true suns.

Tanner:We're going to move to the masthead knot, very early morning.

Tanner:And actually, I will ask Josh if you'll describe your character as you sit and kind of bask in the glow of the masthead knot and perhaps say some of your prayers and start your day.

Josh:Absolutely.

Josh:So my character, Amada, gets up as early as possible.

Josh:And so if you were watching, you would see this.

Josh:It's hard to tell age on an elf.

Josh:But this is clearly an old man.

Josh:Like, pruney.

Josh:He's got, like, liver spots all over his dark-skinned, drowned face.

Josh:He is... Somehow, despite having just woken up, there's, like, a permanent frown on his face.

Josh:He was sleeping on the floor.

Josh:And he sleeps on the floor and gets up really early, both for the same reason.

Josh:It gives him something to lord over other people as he's better than them.

Josh:He doesn't need the comforts of a bed.

Josh:He's already been up for three hours and been so productive by the time anybody else gets up.

Josh:So he's up.

Josh:He's stretching.

Josh:You can audibly hear his muscles as they tension.

Josh:They are not used to being worked at this point.

Josh:It's been however many hundreds of years that this guy has been around.

Josh:And so he's just everything's in its place, even as people.

Josh:Is he like a bunk or something?

Josh:Are there other people around or is this a private space?

Tanner:You are currently in a public space.

Tanner:You're pretty much at The Knot, which is out in the open.

Tanner:There's a bench near you that you could be sitting on or not.

Josh:Absolutely.

Tanner:This is not where you live.

Tanner:You came from your home and are here now, this morning.

Josh:So he already got a brisk walk, and he's all stretched.

Josh:So now he's setting up in front of the knot.

Josh:He's putting out all of his various religious accoutrements.

Josh:And as other people perhaps come by, he's giving them a little bit of a side-eye, checking out what kind of religious symbols and stuff they've got, and in his head keeping a tally of, oh, that guy clearly isn't taking care of his stuff as well as I am.

Mike:Bye.

Josh:or, uh, that guy's form is wrong, he's supposed to be bowing at 32 and a half percent, uh, sorry, 32 and a half degrees, but he's only at 34, uh, stuff like that.

Josh:It's very much running tally of, I'm cooler than you, I'm better than you, I'm, I'm, like, more religious than you, type stuff.

Josh:Um, his whole deal is he has to be haughty, and he has to keep that up as much as possible.

Josh:This is just practice for when he's actually forced to talk to somebody.

Jorge:Thank you.

Tanner:Speaking of, one of the first people, of course, after you,

Tanner:to make it over to the masthead knot is Splicer Lawrence.

Josh:Bye.

Noah:Thank you.

Tanner:Lawrence is a human man.

Tanner:He's around 50 years old.

Tanner:You have, of course, known him the longest out of pretty much anyone in Trilene, because you were one of the people that spotted him.

Tanner:25 years ago.

Tanner:This is known by everyone here.

Tanner:Splicer Lawrence is one of the only known people nowadays to have actually created a knot.

Tanner:And he was discovered with his little knot making his way to the city some time ago.

Tanner:And since then, his knot has been incorporated into the masthead knot to make it larger and bring more life.

Tanner:And he walks up to you.

Tanner:The Splicers all wear the same kind of yellow robes.

Tanner:Not very exquisite by any means, but they're definitely distinct.

Tanner:And if you see someone in these robes, you know that they're a Splicer, and they've been gifted the ability...

Tanner:to either create a knot or maintain a knot.

Tanner:Most people nowadays can maintain one, but not necessarily create one.

Tanner:And it's a different gift than being a cleric or a paladin and having that kind of connection to vigil.

Tanner:There's still like a priestly sort of divine connection, but it's a kind of separate gift.

Tanner:than being a cleric.

Tanner:Anyway, Spicer Lawrence kind of steps up to you.

Tanner:He's carrying one of his weave web, which is much larger than a standard person or even a forager's weave web.

Tanner:The Spicers have kind of larger webs.

Tanner:They do very much all resemble a dream catcher kind of thing, usually circular, but not necessarily with all different twine interlaced and tangled.

Tanner:And they do, depending on how much energy is in them, have a very dim glow that is brighter the more weave has been captured by it.

Tanner:And he walks up to you and he goes, oh, Hamada, beat me here again.

Tanner:How are the knees today?

Josh:bitty, as usual, but you already knew that before you asked.

Tanner:Yes, I suppose I did.

Tanner:Well, glad to see you're still up.

Tanner:Weather is weather today.

Tanner:Anyway.

Tanner:I'm going to get to it over here.

Tanner:Gotta keep things on the up and up.

Tanner:As I can see, you're doing the same.

Tanner:Well done.

Josh:You best do that.

Josh:Yeah.

Tanner:And you see he kind of walks up to the knot and he is kind of holding his weave kind of on one side and you see he kind of is very methodically and slowly dragging his finger up along one of the twines of

Tanner:the weave web, and as he does a streak of kind of golden, you know, sunlight-type energy, follows his finger, and he kind of lays it over the large knot that is in front of you guys.

Tanner:The masthead knot...

Tanner:The knots all resemble a sun from far away, but when you get closer, you can see it.

Tanner:You know when people make a rubber band ball, how it's just all bands overlapping each other?

Tanner:It looks kind of like that.

Tanner:He kind of continues to add bands to it, so to speak.

Tanner:And we will leave you at that.

Tanner:And we're going to shift over to the mess hall.

Tanner:The mess hall is where the foragers as well as the city watch, the peacekeepers, meet.

Tanner:There's several long wooden tables.

Tanner:People will have food here.

Tanner:And if need be, there are meetings and announcements here.

Tanner:I will let both Jorge and Noah describe their characters as you sit down together at one of the tables with breakfast in hand.

Noah:Of course, you would not actually see my character because I am too short to see over the table.

Noah:So instead, you would only see a very tall blue hat.

Noah:It's kind of pointed at the end.

Noah:There's some stars and moons on it.

Noah:At the end of the hat, there dangles his weave web.

Noah:Below the table, you see an incredibly handsome gnome, far more handsome than his brother, distinctly better looking, though their faces do look very similar.

Noah:But I have recently started growing a beard.

Noah:It's not going well, but it's happening.

Noah:I also wear a sort of long, flowy blue robe with more stars and moons on it that I have sewn together myself.

Noah:There's a platter of food in front of me.

Noah:I can't see it, but next to it is a large, like...

Noah:It's a spell book, but it's also a haphazard collection of papers that have been jammed together and are falling out.

Noah:And as I'm standing there trying to, like, find some carrots over the table, anyone nearby will just hear me saying, So, brother, I have been delving into the future and the past, and I believe... Can you hand me a carrot?

Jorge:you

Noah:Hand me a carrot or something.

Noah:And I am Quincensius the Wise.

Noah:I will eat a carrot.

Jorge:So this pans over to an eight-foot-tall Glythe, who has a cloak, also a very tall blue hat, and his spellcap, his weave's on top.

Noah:Thank you.

Jorge:And he, in turn, also has a beard, but this one actually looks like a very full Giant's beard.

Jorge:And...

Jorge:He has some nice, it's almost like a fisherman's sweater.

Jorge:And on his right is a very polished and gleaming mall.

Jorge:And on the other side is a halberd.

Jorge:And he's just, he's like hunched over the table to eat his food.

Jorge:And then he's handing his brother a carrot.

Jorge:And he goes, of course, of course, brother.

Jorge:And hands him a carrot.

Jorge:And this is Quinzelius the Strong.

Tanner:Oh no.

Jorge:It's a shame you have such tiny little hands, brother.

Noah:My hand goes away, and then a mage hand appears.

Noah:It is a very large, muscular mage hand, larger than my brother's hands.

Noah:And it reaches over, and it grabs one of his carrots.

Noah:Now, listen, brother.

Noah:And the hand kind of dangles.

Noah:The mage hand comes over.

Noah:Listen, brother, as the inferior copy, you need to listen when I speak.

Jorge:Look what you need to mimic a fraction of my power, fake twin.

Jorge:And he starts eating.

Noah:Reach for me.

Tanner:Oh, I was so hoping to be able to say Quinn for Quinzenzius, but now I cannot.

Jorge:Yeah, you can go first.

Tanner:As you two are... Oh, yeah, go ahead.

Josh:It...

Noah:And we are the wise and the strong.

Noah:But one is obviously more useful than the other.

Jorge:It's just very clear who's who.

Jorge:It's just refreshing.

Tanner:As you two are sitting and eating and bickering, an individual sits down directly across from you guys and says, oh, well, good morning, boys.

Tanner:Sitting across from you is a relatively old dwarf man.

Tanner:You know him as his nickname.

Tanner:His real name is not known by anyone, but he goes by Bulldog.

Tanner:He...

Tanner:in his prime, was a fierce and very capable warrior and forager.

Tanner:But age and injury have slowed him a tad.

Tanner:You see he wears Anaïs patch on one of his eyes, and on his face surrounding the eye patch are these bluish burn scars.

Tanner:Um...

Tanner:And he wears around his neck a necklace with a bunch of sharp fangs tied around it.

Tanner:A set of seven or so fangs.

Tanner:How we doing today, boys?

Noah:Mr. Dog, a pleasure as always.

Noah:I was just telling my brother about the secrets I believe I am close to uncovering.

Tanner:Very fascinating.

Tanner:Hey, listen.

Tanner:And he points at his eye patch and face area.

Tanner:Remember I tell you a story about how I got this one?

Jorge:The brothers share a book.

Jorge:They're like, no, no, not.

Tanner:Alright.

Tanner:There I was.

Tanner:In the ruins of Karwin.

Tanner:Okay?

Tanner:Me and my group of foragers, we'd been out for days.

Tanner:Food was running scarce.

Tanner:Morale was running low.

Tanner:When all of a sudden, we're attacked by a group of a dozen or so reptilian beasts about five, six feet tall, standing on two legs, kind of sharp claws, big, big mouths.

Jorge:Doesn't seem that big to me.

Noah:I'll lean into my brother and go, Dimosaurs.

Noah:They're Dimosaurs.

Tanner:And there we were cutting them down.

Tanner:We lost a couple men, but I couldn't let everybody die.

Tanner:So there I was swinging and swinging.

Tanner:I get to this one.

Tanner:He pins me down.

Tanner:He opens his mouth.

Tanner:And I swear to vigil, he spit pure Astra into my face.

Noah:Oh, gosh.

Tanner:But I was able to get my blade up in there, put it right into his gullet and bring him down.

Tanner:And he dangles his necklace.

Tanner:And that's where I got these puppies.

Noah:Mr. Dog, that is an amazing story that we have never heard before.

Noah:I don't think I've ever asked this for you.

Tanner:Oh, you got the stomach for it.

Noah:Can I see your eye?

Noah:The one under the eye patch?

Jorge:Okay, yeah, we do.

Noah:No, probably not.

Jorge:I'll take a look for my brother.

Jorge:I can describe it to you.

Jorge:Close your eyes for a moment.

Noah:Okay.

Tanner:And for the record, you have heard this story many times.

Jorge:Oh, yeah, don't.

Tanner:He lifts up his eyepatch and it is pretty grotesque.

Tanner:It...

Jorge:The strong streaks.

Jorge:He's like, oh!

Noah:Oh God, is it bad?

Jorge:Oh, that's horrible!

Jorge:I mean, it's fine.

Jorge:It's fine.

Tanner:There's no eye left.

Tanner:It's just melted flesh that healed in some way over time.

Tanner:So the eye patch is kind of not even really necessary, but he does it because he likes how it looks.

Jorge:No, it's necessary.

Tanner:Um...

Tanner:And with that, we'll pull away from you guys, and we will instead switch over to Vigil's Watch.

Tanner:This is, of course, what once was a Temple II vigil carved into the big cliffside that sits at the back of Trillene.

Tanner:There's a huge relief of the sun, the center of which is open to the inside of the temple, and right at the forefront of it is where the Trilene Prime Knot sits, casting its glow on the entirety of the settlement.

Tanner:And you can see...

Tanner:vines kind of come from underneath the knot and cascade down the cliff face.

Tanner:And currently posted up glancing out on the settlement is Mike's character, if you would like to describe.

Mike:Glint Cubix.

Tanner:Let's do it one more time.

Mike:Glint Cubix.

Noah:Wait, lint or blint?

Mike:Glint.

Josh:Like light?

Mike:It's a Mike's character.

Tanner:Um.

Mike:It's a G. So Glint Cubix is a very well manicured human.

Mike:He's got very fine robes on.

Mike:And he is looking over the settlement, getting ready for probably what is one of his first days working as a forager.

Tanner:You're also currently watching over Splicer Agnes, who is an incredibly elderly halfling woman.

Tanner:Very small.

Tanner:She is currently actually on this little kind of pulley-operated...

Tanner:what do you call it?

Tanner:I'll call it a lift.

Tanner:She's been slowly pulling herself up and down along some of the vines and making little clippings and basically caring for the vines and the vegetation that is cascading down.

Tanner:And she's been, for the last 30 minutes or so, slowly lowering herself.

Tanner:And you've just been kind of watching over the edge, making sure everything's going okay for her.

Tanner:And then you see she starts to pull back up, and she's just not working it out.

Tanner:It's too much for her.

Tanner:And she kind of squints up and sees you standing there.

Tanner:She goes, Glint!

Tanner:Go ahead and pull me up, would you?

Tanner:I can't do it today.

Tanner:And you pull her up and she steps onto the ground here.

Mike:No worries.

Mike:I'll pull her up.

Tanner:And she looks at you and she says, So you've changed up your assignments a bit, huh?

Tanner:You won't be around here too much anymore, huh?

Mike:Well, yeah, you see the issue with...

Mike:being such a high profile guard is if you're good at your job, it becomes very boring very quickly.

Tanner:Of course.

Tanner:Well, it's been lovely being bored with you here the last few years.

Tanner:Do me a favor.

Tanner:I need to meet with Splicer Lawrence down at the Masthead Knot.

Tanner:Would you escort me in that direction?

Mike:Absolutely.

Tanner:And the two of you go kind of into the...

Tanner:inside of the temple and make your way down the carved steps to the bottom of the cliff face and emerge in the Trilene Prime District.

Tanner:And you walk past some of the more solid buildings that exist in this area.

Jorge:Thank you.

Tanner:Some of the other areas are a little more wooden ramshackle.

Tanner:Here you see some kind of stone and brick type buildings.

Tanner:Definitely built more to last.

Tanner:and built more sturdily.

Tanner:And then you make your way out into Albright, and you pass by the very large Albright Knot.

Jorge:Okay.

Tanner:approximately 25 feet across.

Tanner:And knots in their just natural state hover like five or so feet off the ground.

Tanner:But the masthead knot has these kind of arcane ropes that suspend it so that it's a little higher.

Tanner:It's probably like 15 feet off the ground.

Tanner:And surrounding it are these scaffolds and trellises that go probably 50 feet high, covered in all kinds of vegetation, different vegetables, lettuces, all kinds of things to feed the people of Trilene, as well as some of the animals, the livestock that exists not too far from here as well.

Tanner:And Agnes kind of waves at this kind of middle-aged, furbolg woman you know to be Splicerina, who cares for the Albright Knot.

Tanner:And you pass by and eventually make your way over to the...

Tanner:masthead not, where you see Amada still sitting and frowning and doing their activities for the day.

Tanner:And it's about this time when you hear, all of you hear, a horn blare three times in rapid succession.

Tanner:and as you all know, three horns means an urgent gate opening, and that all foragers and peacekeepers must report in the case of imminent danger.

Tanner:Agnes kind of looks up to you, Glint, and says, go on, you took me far enough, I'll be alright here.

Tanner:And at the same time, Amada, you shoot up your bones, perhaps slow, but your wits very quick.

Tanner:You know that action must be had.

Tanner:And at the same time in the mess hall, Bulldog looks to the two of you and says, Oh, boys, there's something coming.

Tanner:I've been craving some action.

Tanner:Let's get on out there.

Jorge:I hold out a hand to pull my brother up and give a piggyback ride there.

Noah:I will say, oh, hold on.

Noah:Wait, perhaps we should be running the other way.

Noah:This might not be safe.

Tanner:And with that, you all run towards the gate at the front of Trilene.

Tanner:Trilene, of course, is surrounded probably like 90% by pretty high and steep cliff face.

Tanner:One of the many reasons why it's been able to thrive is its geographical protection.

Tanner:But there's about...

Tanner:100 feet or so of wall that kind of completes the circle, if you will.

Tanner:And on the other side of the gate, you know there to be kind of cleared out land, and then there's a tree line that

Tanner:approximately, and I'm going to measure, almost 100 feet out.

Tanner:But the people here take care of leaving a good sight line, at least before the tree line.

Tanner:And you guys are some of the first to arrive.

Tanner:Despite Bulldog's excitement,

Tanner:His legs do not carry him very well, and so the two of you, as well as actually all four of you, make it here a bit before he does.

Tanner:And the gate is opened in front of you, and you see in the clearing ahead two figures running together, one kind of holding, supporting the other.

Tanner:You see two slender, kind of youthful human men.

Jorge:Thank you.

Tanner:You know this to be Demko and Renko, the fennel twins.

Tanner:Think kind of Weasley twins in terms of ginger hair, kind of tall, skinny guys.

Tanner:You see they are...

Tanner:running as fast as they can.

Tanner:It looks like Renko has suffered some kind of injury.

Tanner:He's got some blood on him and is definitely stumbling.

Tanner:They're screaming, Open the gate!

Tanner:Open the gate!

Tanner:We're being followed!

Tanner:And they make it approximately 30 to 40 feet from the tree line, when you then see emerging two very large, much larger than one could normally be, bestial foxes.

Tanner:they're more like wolf-sized than fox-sized.

Tanner:And you could see they've got kind of orange-type fur, but it's matted and covered in this greenish, thick liquid that appears to be mostly coming from

Tanner:their mouths as they run down Demko and Renko.

Tanner:And we're going to roll initiative and take a look at a little shmeppy, which I'll do in a moment.

Jorge:Oh Josh had that on.

Noah:Okay.

Tanner:And we could switch to, I guess, a combat sound if we want to, Josh.

Josh:As soon as he said that he was measuring the distance, I was like, oh, I guess we're fighting now.

Tanner:There's going to be a map.

Tanner:Yeah.

Jorge:Thank you.

Tanner:Oh, no.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:Give me just a second.

Mike:That's considered a high roll, by the way, guys, which is 5e.

Josh:Um, did I spell Quinsensius right?

Noah:Yep, that's right.

Josh:sick mike is that also a high rule

Noah:Wow, that was... That's a strong start.

Mike:That is crazy.

Mike:That's also how I had it spelled.

Mike:Oddly easy to spell.

Mike:No, I wouldn't.

Noah:You would not think, but...

Mike:I looked at it, and I was like, huh.

Mike:I hope.

Mike:I mean, I don't know.

Mike:You guys laughed at me.

Tanner:Okay.

Mike:You guys laughed at me when I said I had a high roll.

Noah:This is 5E.

Josh:Is that how you spell it?

Mike:Oh.

Noah:Oh, wow.

Mike:Okay.

Mike:Oh, yeah.

Mike:Plus 13.

Josh:Wait, plus 13?

Josh:Oh, do you have mobile or alert or whatever it is?

Jorge:Yeah, I'm a barbarian.

Josh:Barbarians just get a bonus to their initiative?

Jorge:Oh, wait, never mind.

Jorge:Never mind, it's plus two.

Jorge:I take it all back.

Jorge:That's 12.

Mike:Yeah.

Josh:What?

Mike:The total is 12.

Jorge:I rolled it on D&D Beyond, and I saw 11 plus two, so I assume that was my modifier, so plus two initiative.

Josh:Oh.

Jorge:Turns out, no, that's just D. That's the roll of 11 plus two.

Josh:It's just your dex, unless you have the... I mean, you're so used to Pathfinder.

Jorge:Sorry, 13 seemed way more reasonable in my head than two.

Jorge:That's not a fire.

Mike:I saw you...

Mike:I saw you roll a 23, and I was like, what the fuck does he have?

Mike:Because I have a super high dex, and I rolled okay.

Mike:You'd have to crit.

Mike:And then I saw the plus 13, and I was like, what are you... The biggest things in 5e is plus 5.

Josh:They even nerfed that.

Josh:It used to be alert gave you a plus 5 to initiative, and now I think it's a proficiency bonus instead.

Jorge:Yeah, I have alerts, though.

Tanner:Lame.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:So what Mr. The Strong did you actually get?

Jorge:Yeah, so I actually have 12.

Tanner:Got it.

Noah:And Tanner that 16 I rolled a 16 on the top.

Jorge:Yeah, minus 11 to that.

Noah:That's my portent die from being a weird gnome I

Tanner:Ah, excellent.

Tanner:Good to know.

Tanner:Oh, now I need to send the shmepi.

Josh:Did anybody take any fun origin feats?

Mike:Okay, well, I didn't realize I'd be called out like that.

Tanner:I saw at least one lucky.

Josh:Or did we all take lucky?

Jorge:I took Farmer.

Josh:What?

Jorge:Oh, I have Tough in a 3-1.

Josh:I mean, you should have two origin feats.

Josh:One from your background and one because Tanner gave us one.

Mike:Oh.

Mike:Yeah.

Mike:Two, of course.

Mike:Well, if humans get one... No, no.

Tanner:If you're a variant human, you know.

Tanner:I see.

Mike:All humans in 24 get one.

Josh:You should have at least two, is what I should have said.

Tanner:That's crazy.

Mike:Yeah.

Jorge:you you

Josh:I'm sorry.

Mike:And warlocks can get four.

Josh:What?

Mike:There is an Eldritch invocation that gives you an origin feat.

Josh:Sick.

Noah:I took Tough and Magic Initiate, I believe.

Mike:That's scary.

Mike:A wizard taking magic initiative.

Tanner:Oh.

Mike:What are you doing, bro?

Noah:Bro, did I take... Oh, no, I did not take Magic Initiate.

Noah:My apologies.

Mike:OK.

Noah:I think I originally did.

Noah:I took Savage Sacker!

Josh:I mean, you can, to get, like, a... Yeah, I was debating taking it for, like, shillelagh, since I'm a cleric, but I thought maybe a melee weapon would be handy.

Mike:Give me a level one.

Jorge:Oh, shall we?

Mike:The fact that

Mike:Blade locks don't get martial weapon proficiency.

Mike:You have to go find it elsewhere is really annoying.

Tanner:Are we able to move our tokens?

Josh:You have a gun built into your hand that you could just do this with, so...

Mike:Oops.

Tanner:Because I don't know if permissions are a thing in Shmeppy.

Tanner:I just made tokens.

Mike:Yeah.

Mike:Yeah, I can move everyone's.

Noah:Yeah.

Tanner:All right.

Noah:I think I'm on my brother's back.

Tanner:Don't move my tokens.

Mike:I can even move.

Mike:I can even move the enemies.

Noah:Okay.

Tanner:Don't move my tokens.

Noah:Tanner, I have a question.

Tanner:Sure.

Noah:I am on my brother's back right now.

Noah:Would I move with him at the start of combat?

Tanner:Right.

Tanner:Um, you can be... We will say for this battle, yes, you can be mounted on him and move with him.

Josh:Are you small?

Noah:Okay.

Tanner:We'll see how that goes going forward, but yes.

Tanner:So we'll just have you kind of on the space behind him.

Noah:I am small.

Tanner:Um...

Josh:No.

Noah:I'm a gnome.

Josh:So you could actually be mounted on him.

Noah:Oh.

Mike:Armor calculation, you have a base.

Josh:I'm pretty sure the rules for mounting a creature is that they have to be one size larger than you.

Jorge:Only one?

Tanner:Thank you.

Noah:Let's see.

Jorge:What if you're two?

Mike:Do you have your proficiency?

Mike:Let me Google it.

Noah:here.

Noah:A willing creature that is at least one size larger than a rider and has an appropriate anatomy can serve as a mount.

Josh:No.

Josh:You're...

Josh:Mike, you're thinking of Pathfinder.

Josh:You don't add your proficiency to your armor class.

Mike:Yeah, you're right.

Mike:It's just dex.

Josh:Well, it depends on your armor.

Jorge:Thank you.

Mike:Some armors add things that are not dex?

Josh:Some armors don't add dex.

Mike:Oh, yeah.

Tanner:Okay, I think that we're ready to begin combat.

Tanner:And up first are actually the fennel twins.

Tanner:They are just going to run as fast as they can.

Tanner:Demko helping support Renko as he limps along.

Tanner:So they will move.

Tanner:They will get 40 feet.

Tanner:And that's kind of what they're going to do with their turn.

Tanner:And that brings us to Glint.

Tanner:Glint, you could have started, if you wanted to, up where along the same line as Strong, if you had wanted.

Mike:I was going to say it doesn't matter, but I think they nerfed the distance of Eldritch Blast.

Tanner:But that's up to you.

Tanner:That's your prerogative.

Josh:Did they?

Josh:It's not 5 billion anymore?

Jorge:No, that was a special feat to get Long Sniper.

Noah:No, it's still, it's still, it's 120 feet.

Josh:It started out as 120.

Josh:Oh, it's still 120.

Mike:Yeah.

Noah:It's still 120.

Mike:Oh, oh, sorry.

Mike:I'm looking at Hex.

Mike:I don't know why that's highlighted.

Mike:Oh, okay.

Mike:Yeah, I guess my move up is fine then.

Mike:I just don't want to get... I don't want them to be in the way.

Mike:So honestly, if I just stay where I was, I think... Yeah.

Mike:I have line of sight to both of them without hitting either of the twins.

Mike:Or maybe barely hitting one of the twins?

Mike:I don't know.

Mike:I'll move to the left.

Mike:Just to be sure.

Mike:Yeah, that's better.

Mike:Okay.

Mike:I'm going to fire off two Eldritch Blasts.

Mike:I believe that's how many... I don't think I get three at this level.

Tanner:No.

Mike:But two Eldritch Blasts... Oh, I forgot.

Tanner:That's damage, yeah.

Mike:Is there anything that adds to spell attack rolls?

Josh:If you have the invocation that lets you add your charisma, then you get to add your charisma.

Josh:But by default, it's just... Oh, right.

Jorge:Oh, it does do the damage.

Tanner:Yeah.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:Sorry, not to the attack roll.

Josh:The attack roll is 8 plus your proficiency plus your spellcasting modifier.

Josh:3 right now.

Mike:Are proficiencies three?

Tanner:Should be three.

Mike:Oh, right.

Mike:Yeah, I don't have a five.

Noah:I thought it was just attack.

Mike:I don't have a five.

Noah:I thought it was just, like, your spellcasting ability plus your proficiency, isn't it?

Noah:So it'd be plus eight at this level if he has a five charisma?

Josh:Assuming you don't have the Rod of the Pack Keeper.

Josh:Do you have a 5?

Noah:Oh, yeah, yeah.

Josh:Can you get a 5 in your stat right now?

Noah:Yeah.

Noah:I rolled wildly.

Noah:Oh.

Mike:Oh, you rolled.

Josh:Oh, I didn't roll for stats.

Jorge:He didn't roll?

Jorge:He gets boring.

Josh:I did point by... If I rolled for stats, I would have a flat 3 across the board.

Jorge:I rolled incentive video of it to Tanner.

Noah:Bro.

Noah:How are you gonna...

Noah:How are you going to get a five in one stat and end up with a 20 in the other?

Mike:I feel like... Yeah.

Josh:Snare.

Mike:All right, so the first one to the Fox 2 was a 16, and the Fox 1 was a 19.

Mike:1D10.

Tanner:Those both hit.

Tanner:Roll some damage.

Tanner:We'll do two rolls.

Mike:Yeah.

Tanner:Yeah.

Mike:plus my Charisma modifier.

Mike:Oh, nice.

Mike:A 14 and an 8.

Tanner:Nice.

Jorge:Great.

Tanner:8.

Josh:Okay.

Tanner:I know how to do math.

Mike:Anything useful on a bonus action?

Mike:No, I think I can just kind of chill.

Mike:Yeah, I'll chill.

Tanner:Very well.

Tanner:After you is Quinzelius the Strong.

Jorge:Time to go save the inferior twins, brother.

Jorge:And I will move... I will rage, first of all.

Noah:Okay!

Tanner:Yeah.

Jorge:I would like to rage.

Tanner:Classic.

Jorge:Then I'm going to move 45 feet forward.

Tanner:Jesus.

Jorge:In front of them.

Noah:Ah!

Josh:Bye.

Jorge:And then... Fuck it.

Jorge:We'll go into Fox 1.

Jorge:So move another 45 feet over there.

Jorge:And then I will strike with my ma.

Jorge:Oh, wait, wait.

Jorge:I forgot how actions work.

Jorge:I don't know if I have... I don't have that.

Jorge:Sorry.

Tanner:I believe you took the dash action to do another movement.

Jorge:Yeah, I take that back.

Jorge:I don't have that.

Jorge:So I will ready a strike with my ma.

Jorge:Sorry, why is it left?

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:I'll just ready a strike with my ma to whatever fox-wolf thing comes toward me.

Tanner:Very well.

Tanner:After your turn, it is the foxes' turns.

Tanner:So they are going to move forward.

Tanner:I don't think that they can get to you.

Tanner:Oh, no.

Tanner:What is their speed?

Tanner:Oh, no.

Jorge:I should have used my halberds.

Tanner:I don't have it.

Mike:Oh, to give advantage?

Tanner:Oh, their speed is 50 feet.

Jorge:No, to give myself range and cleave.

Mike:Oh.

Josh:Should have been a bugbear.

Jorge:Halberds have the range and the cleave, but... I know, I couldn't be too bonkers.

Noah:blog thing.

Josh:Well, exactly.

Josh:So if you had both.

Jorge:That felt... Oh, shit.

Tanner:So Fox 1 does come within, so you can roll an attack.

Jorge:I attack.

Jorge:I attack it.

Jorge:Yes.

Jorge:It's my attack modifier.

Jorge:Oof.

Jorge:Do we have to airpoint stuff?

Jorge:How does that work?

Jorge:I'm just gonna roll.

Jorge:I'll have an 18.

Noah:No, you gotta... As my brother... As my brother goes to swing, I will see the future, and I will smack his head a little bit, and it throws him off, and I will use my portent die, and he rolls a 16 plus whatever.

Tanner:Yeah, you would need the lucky feet.

Tanner:Okay, well then that will hit.

Noah:That was my portent die for the day.

Jorge:So 16 plus 8.

Jorge:Great.

Jorge:Great!

Jorge:Thank you, brother.

Noah:Perceive the threads of fate!

Jorge:Okay, so I roll... 6... 15 points of damage.

Tanner:Nice.

Jorge:Uh...

Jorge:And I also, sorry, I also have a bonus thing.

Jorge:Since I'm a zealot, I can do... Sorry.

Josh:you

Jorge:So first of all, you also have to make a con save with a DC of 8 plus... It's 8 plus 3 plus the ability modifier you strength attack.

Jorge:So 8 plus 3 plus 4.

Tanner:I'm making a con save.

Jorge:Yes, the fox needs to make a con save.

Tanner:Oh, I rolled an artificial 20.

Tanner:Does anything happen?

Josh:Bye.

Jorge:Oh, that succeeds.

Tanner:Anyway.

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:So nothing happens, and then I will also be using my Divine Theory, so I'll add one other D6.

Jorge:That's an additional six points of damage.

Tanner:Damn.

Jorge:And this is Radiant.

Tanner:beautiful.

Tanner:That's beautiful.

Tanner:So Fox 2 is just out of range and has to dash to get up to you.

Tanner:But for that... You do use your reaction to... Yeah.

Jorge:If I ready an action, does that get rid of my reaction?

Jorge:Gotcha, gotcha.

Tanner:Anyway, Fox 1 is still going to attack you.

Tanner:Where are...

Jorge:Do I get multi-attack if I'm readying an action or not?

Tanner:Ooh, that's a great question.

Tanner:I don't know.

Tanner:I think maybe yes?

Tanner:Because your attack action lets you make two attacks, and you readied the attack action.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:So I'm leaning towards, yeah, I guess you can make another attack.

Jorge:I will start it if anyone finds correction.

Jorge:Stop.

Jorge:Well, it doesn't.

Jorge:That's fine.

Tanner:12 does not hit.

Mike:uh features that only apply on your turn like extra attack cannot be used for taking the rate action but this is ai overview so you have to go to the link

Jorge:Just waiting to get that.

Josh:I mean, I don't see anything in the ready action description from the 2024 edition that says that you can't.

Josh:It says that you select an action to take, and then the fifth level five feature says you attack twice instead of once whenever you take the attack action.

Josh:So... It says when you take the attack action...

Mike:Does it say on your turn?

Mike:Or just when you take the attack action?

Josh:Maybe that changed from 2014 to 2024, but the 2024 edition specifically says when you take the attack action on your turn.

Jorge:Okay.

Mike:Yeah.

Josh:That's part of your turn.

Tanner:Is it?

Josh:Is it not?

Tanner:I guess it is.

Tanner:Anyway, it missed.

Tanner:We're going to go with... It's allowed for now, though.

Tanner:Anyway, Fox1 is going to make two attacks on you at advantage due to his pack tactics.

Jorge:bullshit and it's all right

Tanner:So first, he's going to do a Venom Bite.

Tanner:You can see he's got, again, they are covered in this slobber that is kind of greenish in color.

Tanner:And the first attack is a 22 to hit.

Tanner:Okay, you're going to have to make a Constitution save.

Tanner:You are, no matter what you roll, going to take... Oh, that's going to fail.

Jorge:Alright, so that's halved for me.

Tanner:You're going to take 13 piercing damage.

Jorge:We're running up or down?

Tanner:Correct.

Tanner:And then you failed, so you're going to take some poison damage.

Tanner:Oh, 12 poison damage.

Jorge:Oh.

Tanner:And then it's going to make a claw attack.

Tanner:That is a 17 to hit.

Jorge:That is.

Tanner:Okay.

Josh:Okay.

Tanner:That is 15 slashing damage.

Tanner:which you have, of course, being cool and all, or being angry.

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:That's going to end the Fox's go, which brings us to Amada.

Josh:I do want to say, looking online, I think I stand corrected.

Josh:And on your turn is specifically action bonus action movement and not reaction.

Josh:So I don't know if it's included.

Josh:Yeah.

Tanner:So you can already one-attack.

Noah:Good tonight.

Tanner:Fascinating.

Josh:I'm going to move 25 feet.

Josh:So that everybody that I want to cast a spell on is within range of me, because Glint, Strong, and Wise are all within 30k to me.

Josh:And then I will cast Bless on everyone.

Jorge:actually you

Josh:So the three of you get to add a d4 whenever you make an attack while they're saving throw.

Tanner:Classic.

Tanner:We don't have auras in Shmeppy, so we gotta try to remember.

Noah:Nice.

Noah:I am blessed.

Josh:And I have nothing else I can do.

Josh:So...

Tanner:Very well.

Tanner:That brings us to Quinzenzius the Wise.

Noah:Oh, I thought Glimt went before me.

Noah:Did you already go?

Tanner:Glint went early on.

Noah:Oh, I missed it.

Noah:Well then,

Noah:I will yell, go get him, brother!

Noah:And I'll smack the back of his head and cast haste.

Mike:You put him into his feed bag.

Jorge:Oh yeah.

Noah:I... I pull out some coffee grounds and just kind of throw them into his... I put them into his mouth and I'll cast haste on him.

Tanner:He's not that tall.

Mike:He's just got like a feed bag.

Noah:I'll put him in his better beard for later.

Noah:And then I will say, this spot is not for me!

Noah:And I will drop off his back.

Noah:Tanner, do I land prone?

Tanner:You're not falling from 10 feet or more, so I think that you're fine.

Josh:you

Noah:Great.

Noah:I will run away then.

Noah:I will run over here, so I'm sort of out of the way.

Tanner:Very well.

Noah:That is my turn, and I'm concentrating on haste.

Tanner:Nice.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:Next up are the two peacekeepers who were manning the wall.

Tanner:Peacekeeper number two on the right is still kind of in the midst of pulling a rope and opening the gate.

Tanner:Or holding it open, I should say.

Tanner:But PK1 has his hands free to grab his bow.

Tanner:And he will make an attack at fox number two.

Tanner:He rolls a 13, which does not hit.

Jorge:And.

Tanner:And that's kind of all he can do.

Tanner:So that brings us back up to the twins.

Tanner:who are just going to continue to run out of harm's way.

Tanner:We're going to go kind of down this way.

Tanner:And that brings us back around to Glint.

Mike:Lint will approach and take a tactical angle.

Mike:And then I'll just blast Fox one twice.

Tanner:Nice.

Tanner:Oh, I should have mentioned that Fox 1 is bloody.

Josh:it is i have some abilities that are keyed off of bloody did you did you add a d4 like

Tanner:I believe that's an official thing in 2024 5E.

Mike:Oh.

Tanner:Oh, I didn't know that.

Jorge:you you

Tanner:That's neat.

Noah:Thank you.

Tanner:OK, so we're going to add those in succession.

Tanner:So the 3 goes to the 11 to bring it to 14.

Mike:And then an 18.

Tanner:The 14 misses, but the 18 hits.

Josh:Is it a crit?

Tanner:I'm afraid we don't do that around here, boys.

Mike:Eight force damage.

Tanner:You take that nasty, nasty critting somewhere else.

Josh:It's so fun.

Tanner:It is more fun, for sure.

Tanner:Eight force damage.

Tanner:Very nice.

Josh:I only say it because I can't roll a 20 on a die, it's just not possible.

Josh:So that way I can just have high modifiers to make up for it.

Tanner:Unfortunate.

Tanner:Will that be all, Glint?

Mike:Yeah, I think that'll be all.

Tanner:Okay.

Mike:Yeah.

Tanner:Man, DMing makes me wish I had a third screen.

Tanner:The two is great for being a player, but now I want three.

Tanner:Um...

Josh:Just frantically alt-tab constantly.

Tanner:Well, I decided to pull up my cell phone to do the dice bot.

Josh:Mmm.

Jorge:Okay, sorry, give me one second.

Tanner:So in a way, I have three screens.

Tanner:After Glint is strong.

Jorge:All right.

Jorge:I will have to modify this in a moment.

Jorge:Yeah, so seeing that these are wildly beasts, I take these attacks recklessly.

Tanner:Might as well, yeah.

Jorge:See that they already have it.

Josh:Ooh.

Jorge:Might as well.

Tanner:Facts.

Jorge:Then I will, bonus action, I will use, are these web leaves that we have, are those free actions, or how does that work?

Jorge:It doesn't say.

Tanner:Which one do you have?

Jorge:The Protectorate.

Tanner:I think that that is an action to do the... Did I not say that?

Jorge:I might have missed it.

Tanner:Where's my file?

Tanner:I'm fairly certain that it's... Well, it's supposed to be an action, so... You're not supposed to have two weave webs.

Jorge:Okay, what about the martial one, then?

Jorge:Would I be able to take that instead?

Josh:Bye.

Jorge:I didn't know the first one was an action.

Tanner:Yeah, you could switch to the Marshall.

Tanner:Oh, you're totally right.

Jorge:Okay.

Tanner:I did not say that that should be an action.

Tanner:But yes, the protective weave web was supposed to be an action.

Jorge:Okay, can I use the martial one instead?

Tanner:You could have the martial weave web.

Jorge:Wait, is that a free action or is it a bonus action?

Tanner:That, it's basically, what's it called?

Tanner:Smite.

Jorge:So free?

Tanner:Yeah.

Jorge:Okay, so I'll use that.

Josh:Bye.

Jorge:Yes.

Jorge:So I will do, instead of that for my bonus action, I will use my Warrior of the Gods and I will roll some detour.

Jorge:I think I have D12s.

Jorge:Put it out.

Jorge:To heal myself.

Jorge:I will use... Boil... Extras... Notify from... Sorry.

Jorge:I did not figure that.

Jorge:I thought the other thing was the... Boil of the Gods.

Jorge:Bonus action.

Jorge:So I will use some of my pool of D12s.

Jorge:I will use... Right here.

Tanner:Does that go on... I don't know what those are.

Jorge:That'll just heal me.

Tanner:Oh, okay.

Jorge:This will just heal me.

Jorge:I can heal myself to 12.

Jorge:And then, now I will strike.

Jorge:All right, so I have, how do you do advantage in here again?

Jorge:That's fine, I'll just roll twice.

Josh:I don't know.

Tanner:Ooh.

Jorge:We didn't really need to use that bat button.

Josh:Yeah, I don't even know if that's a thing.

Josh:I mean, I'm sure it is.

Josh:I just don't remember it.

Jorge:All right.

Jorge:So, 27 to hit.

Jorge:Okay.

Tanner:Yeah, that misses, but you can roll damage anyway.

Josh:Oh.

Noah:On the second hit, as my brother goes to swing, I will reach up my hands.

Jorge:No.

Tanner:That was just one hit with advantage.

Jorge:That's my advantage.

Jorge:Yeah.

Noah:Oh, that was one hit.

Noah:My apologies.

Jorge:Yeah.

Noah:I thought that was a miss.

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:So, I will roll... All right.

Jorge:I'll just roll a couple of them.

Jorge:So, I'll roll the next one as well.

Tanner:This was against Fox1, I presume.

Jorge:Let me... Yes, the bloody club.

Jorge:Awesome.

Jorge:OK.

Jorge:So I assume there's both.

Tanner:yeah yeah

Jorge:OK.

Jorge:So I will write strikes for both of those games.

Noah:Don't forget your haste.

Jorge:So it is.

Noah:You have a third hit, too.

Jorge:I'm going to see these.

Noah:There.

Jorge:OK.

Jorge:So six.

Jorge:Seven.

Jorge:And eight.

Tanner:That one's enough.

Jorge:okay a ball two-handed ball cool um cool so can i use that second attack on the other one uh so that would be

Tanner:So you absolutely... What kind of weapon do you hold him?

Tanner:A maul.

Tanner:So you freaking crush the skull of this guy.

Tanner:This fox.

Tanner:Yes.

Jorge:Alright, I just rolled a tp6.

Jorge:I'll use my Divine Inferior on this one.

Jorge:20 points of damage.

Tanner:Nice.

Tanner:This one's bloody.

Jorge:And you need to... I will use topple, so you have to make a con saving throw.

Tanner:Con save.

Tanner:13.

Jorge:That fails my dc!

Jorge:15.

Jorge:So it is thrown.

Tanner:What happens?

Tanner:Okay.

Jorge:And I will make my final strike.

Noah:No.

Jorge:Sorry, advantage.

Jorge:23.

Tanner:Oh, yeah.

Jorge:I will strike damage for this one as well.

Jorge:17 points of damage.

Tanner:Very nice.

Tanner:Well, this was.

Jorge:And as I splatter the first one, I'm going to hold my mop up, smash it, and blood's going to spray on his face like Battle Beast in Invincible, and he's going to lick it up.

Tanner:Uh huh.

Jorge:And then he's going to move to the other one.

Tanner:Oh, nasty, nasty.

Jorge:Master Master.

Tanner:So did you use any weave strikes to do all that damage, or you didn't expend any?

Jorge:No.

Tanner:Nice.

Tanner:Very nice.

Tanner:OK, that's the end of your turn.

Tanner:That brings us to the foxes, which actually, it will remain plural, because a third fox emerges from the tree line, and I promise this is not me rebalancing on the fly.

Jorge:Box.

Jorge:Oh.

Noah:Third, Fox.

Tanner:This was always meant to happen.

Jorge:Oh, it doesn't enter.

Tanner:Yes.

Tanner:However, it does get up to you, but it uses its full turn to approach you.

Tanner:Yeah, yeah.

Tanner:No?

Tanner:It has to leave unless... Yeah.

Noah:That's the only one that leaves.

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:Fair, fair, fair.

Tanner:Sorry, we're playing Dungeon Dragons.

Tanner:I know, it's a disappointing system.

Josh:Also, I believe in this system, it's an opportunity attack.

Jorge:That's true.

Noah:Mm-mm.

Tanner:True.

Tanner:Yeah, and I will penalize you if you say it wrong.

Tanner:Anyway, Fox2 is going to do a Venom bite.

Tanner:Oh yeah, that's a 25.

Tanner:You can make another con save.

Mike:Mm hmm.

Tanner:No.

Jorge:Oof!

Jorge:Seven.

Tanner:Oh, sure, sure.

Jorge:Wait!

Jorge:I have a thing for this.

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:Fanatical Focus.

Jorge:Once per rage, if you fail a saving throw, you can reroll it!

Jorge:With a bonus equal to your rage damage.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:Oh, yeah, by all means.

Jorge:I crit on that one.

Tanner:Yeah, so you're going to half both the piercing damage and the poison damage.

Jorge:Thank God it's not Pathfinder rules.

Tanner:Yes, the piercing damage was 11.

Tanner:And then the poison damage is 14.

Tanner:And then it is going to make a claw attack against you as well.

Tanner:Yeah, that's another 25.

Jorge:Macy's 15.

Noah:Uh, Tanner, as that one goes to hit, I will yell out, Do not perceive us!

Tanner:Ah, so I reroll, is that correct?

Noah:And that'll be my silvery barbs.

Noah:Uh, yes, and I think I will also give my brother advantage on his next hit.

Noah:I believe that's how that works.

Tanner:Yes, did they not address silvery barbs in the new version?

Josh:No, they did.

Noah:It sort of seems like they just did not touch it.

Tanner:Sick.

Josh:I mean, it is a leveled spell, so... Yeah.

Noah:So I did look into this, and the reaction, because it's not a reaction taken on my turn, it does not trigger the hole.

Noah:I was just looking at this.

Josh:You can't do it on your turn, which was a big part of why Silvery Bars was so strong, but you can still do it against other people.

Tanner:Now, do I re-roll with advantage again?

Tanner:I just rolled one die, I think, this time.

Noah:Imagine you draft here.

Noah:Must reroll the d20 and use the lower roll.

Josh:Yeah, so you don't reroll a disadvantage, you just roll another one and then take the reward.

Noah:That's all I got.

Tanner:Yeah.

Noah:And then I can give...

Tanner:I rolled a 14.

Tanner:There you go.

Jorge:This is... He... For a moment, he confuses me with my other brother.

Tanner:So the... Yeah.

Noah:And then my brother has advantage on the next attack roll, ability check, or saving throw that he makes.

Tanner:The fox is briefly given a stronger perception of the passage of time and is very confused by that and misses its claw strike.

Jorge:So he goes to attack and then realizes just in...

Tanner:Precisely.

Tanner:That brings us back to Amada.

Josh:Another Dicebot update.

Josh:ADV, open parentheses, close parentheses, and DIS, open parentheses, close parentheses, are advantage and disadvantage, respectively.

Jorge:Can you show an example?

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:ADV plus 5, that's advantage plus 5, and disadvantage plus 5 is disadvantage plus 5.

Jorge:Hell yeah.

Tanner:Oh, fascinating.

Jorge:Very cool, very cool.

Tanner:So you don't even put in the 20.

Tanner:Yeah, we're not really rolling with advantage with other dice.

Josh:No, if you wanted to, those are aliases.

Josh:You could do take highest, you know, 1, 2d20, and then that's the same deal, but I just have an alias to, because I didn't.

Tanner:Very well.

Josh:Right.

Tanner:It's your turn.

Josh:Yeah, so, I don't actually have a lot I think I can do here, because I'm trying to maintain concentration on the one thing I'm doing.

Josh:How injured do you look strong?

Josh:Are you bloodied?

Jorge:I'm 52 out of 77.

Josh:Oh, okay.

Josh:I literally can't heal you with this thing, then.

Josh:I can only heal people who are bloodied.

Josh:So... Okay, so you're fine.

Josh:I'm just gonna shoot... DM, if I wanted to shoot Fox 2...

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:Can I?

Josh:Or do I have to go for Fox 3?

Tanner:With what are you shooting?

Josh:A guiding bolt.

Tanner:I think you could do it.

Josh:Okay.

Tanner:I'm sure that Strong is a wide man because he's very broad and muscular, but there's some room to see the oversized fox around him.

Jorge:He's not large yet.

Josh:Yeah?

Josh:Okay.

Josh:Alright, then I will just shoot a guiding bolt at Fox 2.

Josh:Which is... You're just bigger?

Jorge:So Goliath got revamped and I make myself large, but it doesn't really do anything.

Jorge:It just gives me advantage.

Tanner:Does it add the damage?

Noah:And.

Jorge:I'm like, no, it's just advantage on grappling.

Jorge:So it's like really not that great, but it's free.

Tanner:That's lame.

Mike:Thank you.

Josh:24.

Tanner:Uh-oh.

Tanner:Yeah, 24 definitely hits.

Josh:Okay, so he's going to take 12 points of radiant damage.

Tanner:That's going to eliminate him.

Josh:Then I'm not going to say the second half of what that spell does.

Tanner:Yeah.

Jorge:Thank you.

Josh:And that's all three of my actions.

Tanner:There you go.

Tanner:Action, bonus action, movement.

Tanner:Three actions.

Tanner:It's the same.

Josh:Yeah, basically.

Josh:I don't have anything I can do with my bonus action effectively, though.

Josh:Just spiritual weapon.

Tanner:We'll move forward to the wise... I believe spiritual weapon is concentration now.

Tanner:Is that true?

Josh:It is, which sucks.

Tanner:Which is so sad.

Tanner:So sad.

Josh:Yeah.

Tanner:The wise one may go.

Noah:Uh, yes.

Noah:I... Seeing this one fox left, I will raise my hands into the air and begin casting some arcane gestures, and I will begin to emit bright light from my eyes and levitate off the ground, and the world cracks and warps around me, and I will yell, By Vigil's light, I smite thee!

Noah:And I'll cast a third-level fireball.

Tanner:Sweet.

Josh:Ridiculous.

Noah:I don't get it, so it doesn't get my brother.

Jorge:Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Noah:But he has to make a... He has to make a dex save, I believe.

Tanner:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tanner:Of course.

Noah:DC... What is this?

Tanner:Let me just do that.

Noah:What is my DC?

Noah:DC 17.

Noah:Oh, disappointing.

Tanner:Oh, I rolled a 21.

Tanner:I've been rolling pretty well so far.

Noah:That's 8d6 halved.

Mike:you

Tanner:I have real ones.

Noah:So 13 points of fire damage.

Tanner:So exciting.

Tanner:Very well.

Tanner:It's very intimidating.

Noah:And then as a bonus action, I will... I'll just kind of make like a turkey gobbling sound.

Noah:Like...

Tanner:And then we move to... Oh, the Peacekeepers.

Tanner:We're going to do another one attack with the bow.

Tanner:Oh, that's a 10 total.

Tanner:All right, so they don't roll well, but the Foxes roll well.

Tanner:Back up to the Twins.

Tanner:They've kind of lost their relevancy in this fight because they just kind of continue onward.

Jorge:inferior twins.

Josh:that they couldn't help but read.

Noah:these foxes and then ran away.

Tanner:Glint.

Mike:It's your boy, Glint.

Mike:Glint is going to enter the fray.

Tanner:Ooh, spicy.

Mike:And Glint is going to make two attacks with his quarterstaff.

Tanner:Hell yeah.

Josh:What happened to the other three quarters?

Noah:Thank you.

Mike:That would make it more.

Tanner:You can add a d4, I think.

Josh:Yes, you are blessed.

Mike:22 for the first one.

Tanner:Oh, yeah.

Mike:Is this guy bloodied?

Tanner:Oh, yeah.

Mike:15 for the second.

Tanner:He's not.

Tanner:15 hits.

Mike:I can only do this on one attack.

Mike:Let me check.

Mike:once per turn.

Mike:Okay.

Mike:So I can spend an extra d8 plus 1d8 per level of the spell slot.

Mike:I think I have third level spells.

Mike:So we'll do a third level smite.

Mike:So this is a quarterstaff.

Mike:So it's 1d6 plus

Mike:4 plus 4d8 uh is mine a bonus action once once per

Tanner:I'm not sure this fascinating.

Josh:They updated all the smites to work the way that Divine Smite did?

Josh:That's so fun.

Jorge:I thought they're all bonus action now, though.

Josh:There are bonus action, but you can choose to take that after you hit.

Noah:Are you doing the Elder Snake?

Jorge:Uh... Yeah.

Josh:I don't know if yours is.

Noah:The Warlock thing, I think, is just the...

Jorge:I still... Uh... Yeah, I know people got mad at the paladin one.

Mike:Yeah, I think you just do it.

Josh:Oh, you're doing Eldritch Smite, which is just once per turn when you hit a creature.

Mike:Yeah.

Josh:was even better.

Mike:People got what at the Paladin one?

Tanner:Can't go full Nova.

Jorge:They got mad at it because now it's a bonus action, so you can't spike twice in one turn.

Mike:Oh.

Mike:Unfortunate.

Mike:Actually, this is 32 because I have a plus one quarterstaff.

Tanner:Nice.

Tanner:Well, it's certainly bloody now.

Tanner:Oh yeah.

Mike:And you said the 15 also hit?

Mike:Six.

Tanner:Wow.

Mike:This is doing... I can pick.

Mike:But yeah, these are doing... Let's say radiant damage.

Mike:Because that's another thing that Pact of the Blade, they're like, I don't know, put it all in an invocation.

Tanner:Damn.

Mike:Don't make him take a subclass.

Mike:I can pick if it's Necrotic, Psychic, or Radiant.

Mike:Like, three of the hardest damages to avoid, you just pick when you hit with the weapon.

Josh:Hello.

Tanner:Instead of the bludgeoning or whatever it would be.

Mike:Yeah.

Tanner:Wow.

Tanner:It is clinging on to life as I assume you pass your turn on to the strong one.

Mike:Yes.

Jorge:Hovered in gore.

Jorge:He's going to crack, grab his maul, and then go for a swing.

Tanner:Oh yeah.

Jorge:It is reckless.

Tanner:Is it reckless?

Jorge:But I'm going to take Great Weapon Master.

Tanner:ADV parenthesis.

Jorge:No, no, I don't need to.

Jorge:He's weak.

Josh:You do also get the D4 here.

Josh:Oh, man.

Josh:Nice.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:Oh, yeah.

Jorge:I'll just roll damage.

Tanner:Yeah, you may.

Jorge:17 points.

Tanner:Go for it.

Tanner:Tell me what it's like.

Jorge:Yeah, so cracks his knuckles and grabs his maw and then just batters the back legs, drops the maw, and then grabs it by the face and rips its mouth in half.

Tanner:Gnarly.

Tanner:Totally gnarly.

Jorge:All right.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:With that, the dire foxes are expended.

Tanner:And I am going to call for a restroom break.

Tanner:So we'll return shortly.

Jorge:I'll be right back as well.

Josh:may as well go to have fun.

Mike:I like holding it in.

Jorge:Thank you.

Jorge:Yeah.

Mike:I'm so disappointed they still don't have a warlock-like class in 5e.

Josh:What do you mean by in Tubi?

Mike:Some things get close.

Mike:Or sorry, yeah, in 2e.

Josh:What part of the warlock are you looking for in Pathfinder?

Mike:I guess I kind of have it with maybe Magus is close.

Mike:It still slots you into whatever, but where you have specific things like invocations that bolster a cantrip, I guess the Psychic has cantrip bolstering, but they're consumable.

Josh:I do think Pathfinder goes more loops than it does individual benefits, if that makes sense.

Mike:It's not like, oh, you just get a cantrip that's better, and then you essentially have

Mike:consistent spell damage and then you also have like whopping spell slots you can use on stuff it's like oh no you just you just get to use other stuff but

Josh:In that you can't do so many gameplay loops in 5e because you only have one action per turn.

Josh:So you can't do a lot of setting up something and then doing a thing.

Mike:Mm hmm.

Josh:Whereas because you have the three actions in Pathfinder, it means that it leans more towards do this thing to set up an ability and then do the ability.

Josh:So like...

Josh:I feel like if they converted the Warlock one-to-one over into Pathfinder, where you could just make things you do better when you do them, then it would be too strong.

Josh:And they would probably have to nerf it.

Mike:Yeah, it seems like they give most classes some resource.

Mike:And then it's like, manage the resource where with Warlocks, it's like, it's 50%.

Mike:Like 50%, you'll have consistent damage and then you have 50% resources.

Mike:So you still, like, your resources don't actually determine that much of your output.

Josh:Yeah.

Tanner:We used to joke about Rodak taking multiple turns to set himself up for various more powerful things.

Mike:Yeah.

Jorge:Well, do you remember that one character you had, Tanner, that was like a battle singer wizard or something?

Jorge:That took like four turds, but he was just like a Beyblade.

Noah:Oh, yes.

Tanner:Oh.

Tanner:The Blade song, and then Haste, and I don't even remember what else.

Noah:I remember that.

Noah:You, like, hasted, and you used your Bladesong, and then you had, like, one or two other spells stacked, and then, like, an item back.

Tanner:As long as you guys can handle the first three rounds of combat, we're going to be totally fine.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:I mean, you do that in contrast to Pathfinder.

Josh:I feel like during the normal campaign, after level two, every single fight you go into, you're all buffed triply before you even enter the fight.

Josh:So it's a different vibe.

Josh:They're different games.

Tanner:Shall we get back into it?

Mike:Yes.

Jorge:Okay.

Tanner:Okay, so... As... Quinzelius tears apart...

Tanner:the head and jaw of this last dire fox.

Tanner:You hear the battle cry of Bulldog as he runs right past the injured fennel twins out towards the gate, just foaming at the mouth.

Tanner:Where are they?

Tanner:I'm gonna get a piece of them!

Tanner:I'm gonna eat them!

Tanner:And he...

Jorge:I hand him a jaw.

Tanner:He examines the quieted battlefield and looks to you and says, Your bravery knows no bounds.

Mike:Thank you.

Tanner:Excellent work.

Tanner:And as this is happening, you hear Demko shout out, Could someone give us a little bit of help over here?

Tanner:Ren's kind of hurt.

Tanner:And you see he has since kind of laid Renko down and is applying pressure to what looks like a large gash kind of across his back.

Josh:I'll go over and help.

Josh:Does he... Does he, like, need healing?

Josh:Am I rolling a minute?

Josh:Like, how am I... Okay.

Tanner:You could just make a medicine check to kind of stabilize his wound if you would like.

Josh:I have a healer's kit, so I can, like, actually heal him.

Josh:I just didn't know how much he needed.

Josh:What's my medicine?

Josh:What is my medicine?

Josh:Am I any good at medicine?

Josh:Not really.

Jorge:It's your second character that has a healing kit that's not good at medicine.

Josh:You don't need medicine for any healing.

Tanner:Yeah, it's a wild system.

Tanner:I think 10 is the DC to stabilize a creature.

Josh:If it's just stabilizing, I have Spare the Dying.

Josh:I won't roll a medicine check.

Josh:I'll just cast Spare the Dying and he'll be stabilized.

Tanner:That's true.

Tanner:So either way, you come up, you help out, and he kind of seems to calm down, and the bleeding seems to slow.

Tanner:It is around this time that... Let's see.

Tanner:That Bastion Helga Big Claw runs up.

Noah:Thank you.

Tanner:You all know the Bastion be the leader of the foragers.

Tanner:A very large, middle-aged, half-orc woman, very accomplished in battle, does not do as much foraging as she once did, now that she's kind of more in a position of power and delegation.

Tanner:But she runs up to first the group of you and says, Danger at the gate, what's the report?

Jorge:alternating them.

Tanner:All right, very well.

Tanner:And then... Well, she kind of... She looks out past you and sees the three...

Josh:I just like the idea of no details.

Josh:Just, whatever was here, it's dead now.

Jorge:And I'm baked in gore.

Tanner:absolutely smashed corpses and yeah.

Noah:I pulled out a towel and I climbed up my brother's back.

Noah:I'm like, good job, good job.

Noah:Cleaning him off.

Tanner:Excellent.

Jorge:The Quinzelius are strong and wise.

Tanner:She nods.

Jorge:We both salute.

Tanner:As the rest of you know, that's not a thing.

Tanner:But she kind of nods and then turns over to Demko and says, what has happened?

Mike:you you

Tanner:Where's the rest of your group?

Tanner:And he, still kind of catching his breath from his sprint to the gate, says, oh, we were on our way back on Ruin's Run, and...

Tanner:We got ambushed.

Tanner:Some creatures came out from the ground.

Tanner:I think they were attracted to the void web.

Jorge:leo leo looks so lost

Tanner:I don't know.

Tanner:They went for it, and I was able to grab Renko as he was sliced by it.

Tanner:We just kind of ran, but the others, I don't know.

Tanner:I thought they were behind us, but I guess not.

Tanner:Yes, go ahead.

Josh:Do we know what the Void Web is or was that new?

Jorge:I also took his out of here again.

Tanner:So I have not put that in a document, but you do know what that is, and you're also familiar with Ruins Run.

Tanner:The larger weave webs that the splicers use have some special components in them that allow them to kind of pull more weave and directly apply it to

Tanner:a knot.

Tanner:This was discovered some time ago, but Ruin's Run was once a different road by a different name, but is now called as such because part of it leads to a cave system that holds a nest of ruin spiders.

Tanner:And as it turns out, the webs from these ruined spiders have weave incorporated into them and are harvested at regular intervals by groups of foragers.

Mike:you you

Tanner:in order to maintain the knots and the weave webs that the splicers use.

Tanner:So most of you, maybe not Glint, since your assignment to the foragers is newer, but the rest of you would probably know that Demko and Renko went on Ruin's Run two or three days ago.

Tanner:This is about the time where you would have expected them to come back.

Tanner:They had went out with three other foragers, as well as a horse drawing a small cart.

Tanner:but it seems just the two of them have returned.

Tanner:And the bastion kind of looks to Demko and goes, So, I take it we don't have any of the Void Web then, huh?

Jorge:The Guzzellius twins would like to offer our services.

Tanner:And Demko kind of looks down a little dejected and says, Whatever these creatures were, they went for it, and the best we could do was run, so we weren't able to retrieve it.

Tanner:I see a hand.

Jorge:We can get a Voidwind.

Tanner:Yes, that bashing speaks up.

Tanner:That may be in order, perhaps, as she looks at the rest of you that are in the area.

Tanner:The rest of the foragers are spread a little thin at the moment.

Tanner:If the four of you could at least go on a recovery mission, see what you can find of the rest of the Fennel Twins group, that would be helpful.

Mike:You.

Tanner:And if not, you may need to go on a full ruins run.

Tanner:And Bulldog steps up and says...

Tanner:Bastion, I would be honored to go on such a quest.

Tanner:Oh, to taste the glory.

Tanner:And she looks to him and she goes...

Tanner:Well, Bulldog, I could send you on this, but with the four of them gone, we're going to need a fierce Protectorate to man the gate, don't you think?

Tanner:And he kind of looks at the ground and thinks for a second, and then looks up to the two peacekeepers that are still kind of manning the gate, and they've since begun closing the gate back up, now that all you've come inside.

Tanner:And he kind of mumbles to himself, Yeah, they'll never be able to keep us safe.

Jorge:That's so good.

Tanner:It is best for the people of Trilene if I stay behind and do not join you on this quest.

Mike:Glint will put his hand on his shoulder and be like, it is a noble cause.

Tanner:Yes, of course.

Tanner:And he just kind of looks off into the sky, just seemingly very pleased with this assignment.

Jorge:I turn to the new forger and go, have you been told the story of how he lost his eye?

Mike:I haven't.

Mike:I would love to hear it some other time.

Josh:Ha!

Tanner:Oh, I'll get you when you come back.

Mike:I'll hold you to that.

Tanner:And the Bastion turns to the four of you again and says, well, we were really expecting to get some Voidweb back later today, so...

Tanner:I don't mean to rush you all out of here, but the sooner you could leave, the better it would be for the Knots and the people of Trilene.

Jorge:You're muted.

Tanner:Yeah, we can't hear you at all, Noah.

Josh:Nope.

Tanner:No.

Mike:No.

Mike:Well, we definitely can't hear you now.

Jorge:That's killing me.

Tanner:Dang, I wonder what he was going to say.

Mike:The gnome explodes.

Tanner:We'll give him just a second.

Josh:I say we just move on without him.

Josh:Jorge, earlier you called you and Noah collectively the Quinzelius twins.

Jorge:you

Noah:Can you hear me now?

Josh:Are you Mario?

Tanner:Oh, yes.

Josh:Yes.

Mike:Good.

Noah:Okay.

Noah:What's going on there?

Noah:I'm back.

Tanner:You were going to speak.

Noah:Oh, don't worry, Captain.

Noah:I always come prepared with a backpack for an overnight.

Tanner:Very good.

Tanner:That may very well come in handy.

Tanner:So gather your things, whatever you may need.

Tanner:Essentially, she would like you to leave within the next hour or so.

Noah:We're identical.

Josh:Boss is kicking us out, so we're going.

Jorge:We don't get to sleep?

Jorge:That's funny.

Jorge:Out of curiosity, are those other twins, are they identical as well?

Jorge:Or are they not identical twins?

Josh:What do you mean, as well?

Josh:I don't think you know the meaning of that word.

Noah:What do you mean?

Jorge:Only our mother can tell us apart.

Noah:I understand my beard is much better, but...

Josh:You definitely have similar facial features.

Josh:There's a slight discrepancy, I think.

Josh:That was it.

Josh:That was the difference.

Jorge:Are you guys familiar with the cult classic, Twins?

Tanner:Oh, with Danny DeVito.

Mike:I think that was one of the underlines for the movie, the subtitles.

Tanner:And Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Jorge:Yeah.

Noah:Exactly.

Jorge:And I think they blocked us with their twins.

Jorge:And I'm pretty sure one of the sayings is only their mother can tell them apart.

Josh:Mm hmm.

Jorge:Yeah, it doesn't matter.

Jorge:It doesn't matter.

Jorge:And one of them's a lady's man and one of them's not.

Tanner:Oh, it's on there.

Jorge:And Danny DeVito is the lady's man.

Tanner:It is right there on the poster.

Tanner:Only their mother can tell them apart.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:All right.

Tanner:Is there anything in particular you would like to do before setting out?

Tanner:There is time to short rest if that was helpful, although I'm not sure it is.

Tanner:So you have, unless they've changed it, which I don't...

Jorge:How does healing work in short rest again?

Noah:I'd like to take a short rest, do some arcane recovery.

Josh:You have a number of hit dice equals your level.

Jorge:Oh, I see it.

Jorge:I see it.

Josh:When you short rest, you can spend the hit dice to heal up that amount.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:And then you get all of your hit dice back on the long rest now.

Jorge:Cool.

Jorge:I took a short... Yeah, I took a short rest.

Mike:Can I swap out my uncommon item?

Tanner:I suppose.

Tanner:Yeah, yeah.

Mike:OK.

Mike:Because I forgot that there are ways of getting adds to your spell attack mod in 5e, but there isn't in Pathfinder.

Jorge:Thank you.

Mike:So I just went and got a melee weapon.

Mike:And I would get a lot more mileage out of a plus one rod of the Pact Keeper.

Tanner:Fair enough.

Noah:Change out spells on a short rest.

Mike:Oh, and I'm going to concentrate for a minute because that's another thing that they added for Warlock Sustain is if you just concentrate for a minute, you get half of your Warlock spells back.

Mike:And I have two Warlock spells and I used one, so I'll get the one back.

Jorge:I will heal.

Josh:A wizard gets on a short rest to recover spell slots with a combined level equal to no more than half of your wizard level.

Tanner:There you go.

Noah:Okay, then I'll get back my third level spell slot, and using this other new feature, Memorize Spell, I'll shift out Maximilian's Earthen Grasp for invisibility.

Noah:So I have that prepped.

Mike:So many of these rules are so foreign to my brain.

Tanner:Nice.

Tanner:I think you get to add your con to each role, unless they got rid of that.

Jorge:It's out of each one, so 13.

Josh:Um.

Jorge:Okay.

Noah:I will also pack the world's largest Boy Scout backpack, which is just, like, towering over me.

Noah:And as we come back together, you just hear me talk to my brother.

Noah:You never know what we might encounter.

Noah:So I have balaclavas for both of us.

Noah:I also brought swimming trunks, because we might need those as well.

Noah:I brought sunscreen, and I also brought just, like, a general lotion, in case it gets dry.

Jorge:Strong gets a nice little white lotion line on his nose as he prepares.

Tanner:Great, great.

Jorge:I bring a floaty in case there's a...

Noah:You don't know what the brothers are doing on there.

Tanner:Yes.

Josh:We know, like, this is a known quantity, the geography of ruins run, right?

Josh:Like, there's not going to be a surprise ocean.

Noah:You don't know what the brothers are doing on there.

Tanner:No, there is not ocean.

Tanner:Also, not a very sunny world in general, but that's okay as well.

Jorge:All right.

Noah:With the power of time magic, anything is possible.

Noah:That's nice.

Tanner:That's true.

Tanner:The sun will come out eventually, perhaps.

Tanner:Who knows?

Josh:Paner, you were also right.

Josh:For each hit die you spend when short resting, you get to add your con mod.

Tanner:Pretty sweet.

Josh:You also apparently roll the hit dice one at a time, so you can roll until you're full and then stop rolling so you don't waste dice.

Jorge:oh very nice oh you're right

Tanner:Facts.

Mike:For the Arcane Webweave, did you have an idea of what level the spells can be cast at?

Tanner:They're just all at their base level.

Josh:I mean, the only one that matters for is Dispel Magic anyway.

Mike:Okay.

Tanner:Yeah, any of the spells are base level unless they specify otherwise.

Tanner:Like, there's the magic missile upcast from the Mage's Weave Web, but...

Jorge:Sorry.

Tanner:I really thought that I had thought these through, and then first round, Jorge pokes a hole in the protective weave web.

Tanner:That's what I get for trying to homebrew.

Tanner:No, I just didn't write down what was in my brain.

Tanner:With that, you all can make your way out onto Ruin's Run.

Jorge:Thank you.

Tanner:Before you go, Demko is able to inform you that they were kind of sprinting all out for dear life for most of their way back from where they were ambushed.

Tanner:But going at a more normal pace, you should make it there by early evening.

Tanner:Again, this was pretty early in the morning that this all took place.

Josh:Are we bringing a cart with us?

Josh:Because you said that the first group went out with a cart.

Tanner:The first group went out with a cart.

Tanner:There is not another cart available at the moment.

Josh:We'll have to find one on the way then.

Tanner:It's just the four of us.

Jorge:I actually made both of those.

Mike:We can't look.

Josh:I just noticed your backgrounds that say wise and strong on them.

Tanner:Noah had his up first.

Jorge:I just got confused mid-fight.

Josh:Oh nice.

Noah:Now you know who, we're identical, so night, no.

Tanner:It's so funny because I got Noah's character first and Noah was like, oh, we're brothers.

Tanner:And then Jorge, I got text from first saying, we're twins.

Tanner:And then I opened up the character sheet and was like, hmm, okay, sure.

Tanner:It all makes sense somehow.

Josh:Thank you.

Jorge:No, we both... There was a Goliath mother and a... Are you a no?

Tanner:Anyway.

Noah:I'm a gnome.

Jorge:No father.

Jorge:There you go.

Tanner:Makes a lot of sense.

Tanner:The genes are not always evenly distributed.

Jorge:Yeah, yeah.

Noah:In this case, it is directly split.

Noah:All the is impeccable.

Jorge:Well, you were twins with the same egg that is split.

Jorge:And then I got all of the Goliath.

Mike:That's how it works.

Josh:Yeah, that sounds like that's how that works.

Jorge:There's no genealogy lore.

Tanner:Listen, nobody knows how genetic science works on EPO.

Tanner:They never made it that far.

Josh:Yeah, exactly.

Tanner:No lore.

Noah:There's no epogeneticist.

Josh:We don't have lore anymore.

Josh:We won't know.

Josh:No.

Noah:Oh God, there's no epilore.

Noah:How can we know anything?

Josh:History.

Tanner:Nobody knows.

Tanner:Oh, right.

Tanner:It's all your history skill.

Josh:Yep.

Tanner:And maybe religion.

Tanner:Anyway, the four of you begin your brave trek outside of Trilene.

Tanner:You turn to the north and follow what is now known as Ruin's Run.

Tanner:Once upon a time, it was probably a well-cobbled road.

Tanner:Must have connected two places at one point.

Tanner:You're not really sure.

Tanner:You would imagine that if you took this path in the other direction... Actually, you wouldn't imagine.

Tanner:You would know.

Tanner:There is the ruins of a city to the south of here called Karwen.

Tanner:That's what happens when you take this road in the other direction.

Tanner:But you're going north, taking ruins run.

Tanner:You see a cobblestone every once in a while, but it's mostly become compacted dirt at this point.

Noah:you

Jorge:Okay.

Tanner:As you travel through the forest, you see some evidence of the craziness and the chaos that was unleashed 300 years ago.

Tanner:It's believed that Trilene is pretty far from the epicenter of where the Tynans were working.

Tanner:So the land wasn't completely sundered around here.

Tanner:But you see, one in every ten or so trees just looks to have been completely...

Tanner:instantaneously petrified.

Tanner:And it's now kind of crystalline and leafless.

Tanner:And you could see some of them, in addition to just their normal branches, there are some that look to have kind of split open.

Tanner:And there are actually colored crystals that peek out from between the nodes of the branches.

Tanner:Outside of that,

Tanner:Nature looks relatively normal.

Tanner:You are aware, all being foragers and all having existed outside of Trilene for at least some excursions, that that doesn't mean there isn't danger.

Tanner:And while the path itself is easy to follow, you need to know to be looking out and listening out for any signs of danger.

Tanner:And so I will need someone to roll a survival check to be on the lookout for hazards.

Mike:Oh, great wise one.

Josh:Who feels most comfortable surviving?

Mike:I missed guidance.

Josh:I'm for good at surviving.

Jorge:I'm half as that.

Noah:That is... I'm half that, too.

Josh:Okay.

Jorge:Anyone got guidance?

Noah:Yes!

Josh:I'm going to guide myself.

Josh:I don't need your guidance.

Josh:You have guidance?

Noah:As a weird gnome, I have guidance.

Josh:Nice.

Josh:a 13.

Tanner:13, so as you guys are traveling along this road, Amada, you're keeping your age-wisened eyes and ears out for any danger.

Tanner:You've traveled this road before.

Tanner:You've traveled other roads as well.

Tanner:You in particular spent a lot of time foraging and on other kinds of expeditions.

Tanner:But it appears that maybe age has befuddled you this one time, as you hear too late the sound of a flock of birds.

Jorge:Hey, Rach.

Tanner:You hear a lot of feathers and whooshing through the trees.

Tanner:as this large pack of kind of gray-colored birds, which you, again, too late recognize to be a flock of bile birds, come swarming at you.

Tanner:And I need everybody to make a dexterity saving throw.

Mike:I just realized when you have a character that's old, you can just attribute any bad roll or any additional damage they take to just being elderly.

Mike:Like if someone crits, you can be like... Oh, and your frail bones take extra damage from... Uh... Oh, uh...

Josh:I mean, for what it's worth, my character does have a minus one in both strength and charisma, and I'm blending both of those on him being very old.

Josh:So... You have advantage on... Sorry, not reflex.

Jorge:18.

Josh:On deck saving throws?

Josh:That's crazy.

Tanner:Danger sense.

Jorge:Danger sense.

Tanner:Danger sense.

Noah:I got a 21 print.

Josh:Nice.

Tanner:That has always been that way.

Josh:That's still great.

Tanner:Yes, the 11 is the only failure.

Tanner:So, as these bile birds kind of swarm, you're...

Tanner:Most of you are familiar with their attack pattern.

Tanner:They kind of swoop in and they spit little bits of bile to create kind of weak points on your flesh and through your clothing.

Tanner:And then they come in and they peck and they try to tear at some of your flesh for a little yummy meal.

Tanner:Most of you are able to kind of dodge being hit by most of the actual bile.

Tanner:Yeah, go ahead, Strong.

Jorge:Are they like owls?

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:However, Glint, you are going to take some acid damage.

Tanner:It's not a...

Mike:Thank you.

Jorge:Or can I... I know it's not going to make any appreciable difference, but can I attack one of them as they come by me?

Tanner:You can make a swing, yes.

Jorge:Yeah!

Jorge:I'm going to try to pop it like a piñata.

Tanner:So, Glint, you're going to take six points of acid damage, and then I'm going to roll a little bit of piercing damage, which you will take the full, and everybody else will half.

Josh:Yeah.

Jorge:Did I get my rage off?

Jorge:It's okay to say no.

Jorge:I just wanted to know if I might manage incoming damage.

Tanner:I'm going to say no on the rage.

Jorge:Okay.

Tanner:So it's eight points of piercing damage, and then four to the three of you who succeeded.

Tanner:You made an attack roll.

Noah:Okay.

Tanner:That's a 19.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:That definitely hits.

Tanner:No damage roll needed.

Tanner:You just absolutely explode one of the bile birds.

Tanner:However, these birds are not known to make sustained attacks.

Tanner:They kind of swoop in and then make their leave.

Jorge:and just sending a message.

Tanner:Yes, so you absolutely pop one of them.

Tanner:There's a burst of feathers and a little bit of bile is left behind on your maul as the rest of the flock all kind of disperses and flies back into the trees.

Tanner:and you are able to continue onward.

Tanner:Yeah, go ahead.

Jorge:Does anyone in the group have a common sign language?

Jorge:As a language.

Josh:I can cast tongues and then I will for 10 minutes.

Jorge:No.

Jorge:Well, I give them.

Jorge:I sign in them.

Tanner:Very nice.

Tanner:I would say that your brother, even if he does not have this language, has probably picked up on a couple of the words over the years.

Noah:Missed my chin a couple of times.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:It's hard working around the beard.

Tanner:Anyway, you carry on throughout most of the rest of the day.

Noah:It's getting there.

Tanner:you don't hear or see any more hazards until eventually, Amada, you spot a little bit ways down the road what looks like a small cart that you recognize just kind of offset in the road.

Josh:I knew we'd pick up a card at some point.

Josh:Do we think that whatever chased them off is still around?

Noah:Tanner, how intelligent are things out here?

Noah:Are they smart enough to lie in wait for someone to come back, or is it more just like, ah, food's gone?

Jorge:Thank you.

Tanner:It definitely varies, but I will say that the chaos that has been imbued in some creatures has given them a bit of an intelligence bump, but you're not entirely sure what attacked just yet, so it's hard to know for sure.

Tanner:But...

Tanner:From this distance, I'll allow two perception checks to see what other information you might be able to glean from.

Tanner:Right now, you're like, I don't know, we'll say 100 or so feet out.

Jorge:Okay.

Josh:In spite of my luck, I'd like to try one.

Josh:I swear to God.

Tanner:Sure.

Noah:I got a big old two to a perception if anyone's got better than that.

Josh:13.

Mike:Feel free to roll the two.

Noah:All right.

Tanner:Does someone not have a plus 5?

Josh:I have a plus 7.

Josh:I just can't roll.

Noah:An eight.

Tanner:OK, not very high rolls.

Tanner:Amada, pausing and looking a bit more closely,

Jorge:Okay.

Tanner:You can make out just in front of the cart the carcass of a horse.

Tanner:You can see that its abdomen area has been gutted and cleared out.

Tanner:Not in a calculated way.

Jorge:Bringing up old car.

Tanner:But definitely, there's a lot of flesh missing from this horse.

Tanner:But that's all you can get from this distance and those rolls.

Josh:Looks fine to me.

Josh:You say we just go grab the cart and continue on our way.

Noah:All right, Mr. Amata.

Noah:Whatever you say.

Tanner:So as you get a little bit closer to the cart, you're able to make out a couple more things.

Tanner:For one, you do see a human corpse.

Tanner:Looks to have a number of...

Tanner:deep gashes as if someone was kind of slicing or even in one place, maybe like almost pinching.

Jorge:Okay.

Noah:Hmm.

Tanner:You see that it has a wound in its side that looks to have kind of impacted from both ends and clamped down on this deceased forager.

Josh:Would they remind us of, like, a particular kind of monster or whatever that we would have come across in previous expeditions?

Tanner:someone can make a nature check to try and ponder that.

Noah:and nature.

Jorge:I will start raging and using my bonus action to... because you now can use your bonus action to keep it running.

Tanner:Of course, of course.

Josh:It just turns angry.

Mike:Sure.

Tanner:Does it still max it at a minute?

Jorge:Thumbs 10 minutes.

Jorge:Let me check.

Tanner:I don't know.

Tanner:I'm

Tanner:I'm, excuse me, inclined to believe you.

Jorge:If it's only one minute, I will not do that.

Noah:I got a 12.

Josh:Yeah, you can maintain a rage for up to 10 minutes.

Jorge:Oh yeah, you can maintain it for up to 10 minutes.

Josh:You can be angry for 10 minutes at a time, but then you have to calm down for a little bit.

Jorge:Thank you.

Tanner:On a 12, your...

Tanner:not entirely sure at first.

Tanner:But then as you're kind of walking around the site a little more, you see what you assume must be a piece of one of these creatures.

Tanner:One of them looks to have been at least damaged in this battle.

Tanner:And you can see it's this long...

Tanner:of like three foot long kind of dark gray uh chitinous claw um and you could kind of see uh uh how do i describe this kind of in the inside of the claw it's a little um

Tanner:concave, and there looks to be a bit of earthy debris, which makes you think that this must be some kind of burrowing creature.

Josh:And what would you have the rest of us do?

Noah:I climb on top of my brother real fast.

Noah:They burrow.

Noah:Beware the ground.

Jorge:I tap the ground with the bottom of my mallet.

Noah:Beware the earth.

Noah:They move beneath our feet.

Jorge:I'm just frothing at them.

Jorge:Hide on a cart.

Josh:Because that works so well for the last group.

Jorge:Hide on a cart.

Tanner:Can I have two investigation rolls?

Jorge:you what oh um i

Josh:Jorge you may.

Mike:course investigation that's you guys

Noah:Yeah, I'm supposed to be good at this.

Noah:Bro, what is happening right now?

Noah:I got a 10.

Noah:I have a plus 8 to this.

Tanner:Yes, I'm allowing a second role as well.

Josh:Are you smart?

Jorge:I have a minus two.

Josh:Okay, I'll do it.

Josh:You have a minus two?

Mike:He rolled.

Jorge:I also rolled.

Jorge:That's four better than me.

Mike:Does that mean I'm rolling?

Josh:No, I can roll.

Josh:I just don't have a very good modifier.

Josh:I have a plus two.

Mike:Oh, okay.

Mike:I have a plus zero.

Josh:Natural one.

Tanner:Sweet.

Noah:Thank you.

Tanner:fascinating.

Josh:Sorry, Tanner.

Tanner:No, no, that's okay, that's okay.

Tanner:So as the wise, you climb up on your brother's back and are kind of looking around, and I guess the Glint and Amada, you...

Tanner:go to get on the cart.

Tanner:It's kind of an awkward thing to do.

Tanner:It's got two wheels, so it's really just... It's not very steady on its own, but you get yourself off the ground, and it's pretty quiet.

Jorge:Oh.

Tanner:You kind of stand there steady, and nothing seems to be going on.

Tanner:And enough time passes that...

Tanner:Mr. The Wise, you do notice that along one part of the road, there is a more disturbed area of brush than the rest of the road.

Noah:I will point this out to my companions.

Jorge:immediately Russian.

Tanner:So you run in the direction of this disturbed brush, and you kind of run right through this kind of first layer.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:And what you see is like drag marks kind of in the dirt going off a little bit farther into the forest.

Tanner:And you see there's a little bit of evidence of blood as well.

Jorge:Can we follow it, brother?

Noah:So...

Josh:We have to find out what did this, so... Well, we don't want them attacking somebody else next time they come down this road, no.

Mike:Do we?

Mike:I feel like there's going to be an endless selection of things that attack people that come down this road.

Mike:I feel like it's kind of the roads thing.

Josh:Usually it's... Usually it's fine, though, because we successfully get the webs.

Mike:OK.

Josh:This time they killed three people.

Josh:There are only, like, 15 of us total, so that happens four more times and we're all dead.

Jorge:risk-based industry.

Tanner:Of course, you carry on forward, and you go another, we'll say, 100 feet kind of into the forest following this path as you see a lump of something

Tanner:in front of you that looks to match in color the claw bit that you had found at the site of the cart.

Jorge:I go over to it.

Noah:Careful!

Jorge:I assume it's dead, but I'm okay with mine.

Tanner:It is, in fact, dead.

Tanner:It is missing a front claw and seemed to be moving in this direction.

Tanner:I will note that there is more drag marks in front of it, as if other things had also passed, but this thing only made it this far.

Jorge:Oh.

Tanner:I will... I guess I... Let's see.

Tanner:Can I copy image and just send it?

Tanner:Let's see.

Tanner:Chatter.

Tanner:Paste.

Tanner:Oh yeah.

Noah:Oh, oh, oh gosh.

Tanner:You see this fella?

Jorge:Dropper xenomorph.

Josh:He looks friendly.

Tanner:I will allow another nature check to see if...

Tanner:anyone has encountered this.

Tanner:Amada, if you would rather, I don't know if it's a difference for you at all, but you could also make a history check due to your extensive time.

Josh:That is actually different for me.

Jorge:Can I make an animal handling check?

Jorge:It's okay to say no.

Tanner:I don't think so.

Tanner:We're just going to stick with the two rolls anyway.

Jorge:Okay.

Josh:28.

Noah:I could be gutted.

Tanner:Oh, 28 is crazy.

Tanner:So...

Tanner:You are familiar with this creature.

Tanner:It is called a Kruthik.

Tanner:They are burrowing creatures.

Tanner:Kind of interesting to see them around here, and especially near the surface like this.

Tanner:What you do know about them is that they are attracted to heat.

Josh:And.

Tanner:And I should also note that you would know that enough void web kind of bundled together does give off a decent amount of heat, a bit more than just a person's body heat.

Noah:They were driven to the... They're usually underground.

Tanner:So...

Noah:Wow.

Tanner:Yeah, they're burrowing creatures.

Tanner:They have nests of sorts or cave systems that they create under the ground.

Jorge:So you might be able to flop.

Jorge:Would we know if they would that roll?

Jorge:Would we know if they hit the web or destroy the web?

Jorge:All right, let's go for it.

Tanner:You're actually not sure what they would do with the web in particular.

Jorge:Let's find it.

Tanner:You continue forward a little bit more, and then you come upon an opening in the ground.

Tanner:It's at first here, maybe five feet in diameter.

Tanner:You would all be able to fit, I think,

Tanner:Quinzelzius.

Tanner:It's a little tight, but it's definitely maneuverable at this point.

Jorge:That's good.

Jorge:How long has it been since we, since I breached?

Tanner:I'll call it five minutes.

Jorge:Okay, cool.

Jorge:I can go first.

Tanner:Because you were going pretty expediently.

Jorge:Actually, we couldn't fit on the back.

Tanner:You go in first.

Tanner:Are you... Yeah, no, you probably, with having to squeeze through this opening, your brother would have to make his own way in behind you.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:You can also just call me Strong, or QTS also works.

Noah:Fine.

Noah:Oh, it's really in here.

Tanner:But for you, Quinzen... Whoa.

Tanner:Quinzenzius!

Tanner:Gosh, you guys are the worst.

Tanner:Anyway, it's relatively easy for you to pass as a little gnome guy.

Jorge:Can I look into it?

Jorge:Is there an opening that I can see when I look into it?

Tanner:Yeah, you could glance in.

Tanner:There doesn't seem to be any light source in there, so it does get kind of dark once any ambient light kind of is not able to reach anymore.

Jorge:I don't think they did before, but I don't know if they do now.

Tanner:But you could make a perception check here at the opening if you like.

Noah:Okay.

Tanner:A Goliath?

Tanner:I actually don't think you do, but I could be wrong.

Josh:What kind of Goliath are you?

Jorge:okay oh it was one of the barbarians that get darkvision yeah so yeah so I'll just well yes it's different yeah so I will just like is it straight down

Josh:Actually, it doesn't matter.

Josh:None of them get darkvision.

Josh:The Hawk.

Tanner:I didn't know they made different Goliaths.

Josh:I mean... Yeah, there's a bunch now, actually, depending on what kind of Giant you come from.

Tanner:That's kind of fun.

Noah:This is cool.

Tanner:That's cool.

Tanner:No, it's at a manageable angle.

Josh:If I go behind you and I can peek around you, I have pretty good dark vision.

Jorge:okay all right we can do that

Tanner:It does go downwards, but it's not just a hole, like a straight down hole.

Josh:I'm a drow, which for some reason doesn't have sunlight sensitivity anymore.

Josh:So I can just see stuff.

Tanner:thus being able to bask in the glow of the not.

Josh:Yeah, which is nice, I guess.

Jorge:All right, so let's start moving forward.

Mike:Yeah.

Tanner:Sure.

Tanner:Amada, I guess, would you like to make a perception check in that case?

Josh:I don't know why I volunteered for that, as if it's going to be good, but I will do it.

Josh:18.

Josh:120 feet.

Tanner:That's pretty good.

Tanner:And what is the range of your darkvision?

Tanner:Ooh, that is good.

Jorge:It's greater.

Jorge:Oh.

Josh:It's superior, actually.

Noah:Oh.

Tanner:Oh, alright, excuse us.

Mike:We know it's superior.

Mike:We're just wondering if it's great.

Jorge:Thank you.

Josh:It's not.

Josh:It's just superior.

Josh:It's not really greater.

Mike:Oh.

Tanner:So, you kind of glancing over the shoulder of the wise, sorry, the strong,

Mike:Okay.

Tanner:see that this path kind of continues sloping slightly downwards, deeper underground.

Tanner:It does appear to widen a bit as you go.

Josh:Thank you.

Tanner:And you're able to see within your 120 feet there is just kind of darkness beyond, so it seems like

Tanner:it continues, but you start to see small little offshoots.

Tanner:Not that any of you could fit in, but little, like, you know, maybe maximum basketball-sized holes that appear as you continue forward.

Jorge:Now.

Tanner:Eventually, you start to hear sounds.

Tanner:You could hear a bit of skittering, a bit of scraping.

Tanner:And you think that it's not all necessarily in front of you.

Noah:Whoa.

Noah:Oh, no.

Tanner:In getting that notion, you kind of look over your shoulder, and you see emerging from these smaller holes are versions of these Kruthiks, much smaller, actually, than the one that you had seen out.

Jorge:Yes.

Tanner:That one was medium-sized.

Tanner:via the rules.

Tanner:These ones are more small sized.

Tanner:There's a group of six of them that emerge from the walls at your back but at the same time emerging actually from a bit larger of a hole above you.

Tanner:is one that is this medium size, and we will have to roll some initiative.

Noah:Oh no.

Jorge:That's something I'm giving an issue.

Jorge:All right.

Mike:That's a high roll.

Mike:This is a 5E.

Josh:Thank you.

Tanner:And I need just a minute.

Noah:Oh, like the music.

Jorge:Thank you.

Tanner:What am I trying to do?

Tanner:Sorry folks.

Jorge:Right now, I have a little bed on my desk.

Mike:The rata alata.

Mike:That's what they're saying.

Josh:Thank you.

Noah:rada rada rada rada

Mike:Rata, rata, rata.

Jorge:Aisha's sleeping there.

Jorge:Bailey's computer chair's behind me.

Jorge:So there's a little, I put a pillow and a little blanket and Misty's sleeping on that.

Jorge:And then Leo is sleeping on the floor in front of me.

Jorge:So I just have a little nest of sleeping...

Tanner:I realize we did not really set a full order.

Tanner:I know that the strong was in front, and then right behind you was Amada.

Tanner:How would the other two of you have been in terms of a third and fourth?

Mike:Probably lasts because Glint doesn't have darkvision, so he's just holding onto whoever's in front of him.

Noah:I guess I'd be second to last.

Noah:I think I have dark vision.

Tanner:Epic.

Noah:What?

Jorge:Almond tank sandwich.

Jorge:I don't know if gluten's a tank, but...

Noah:Oh, I do have dark vision, good.

Tanner:Yeah.

Josh:I'm a tank.

Mike:Eh.

Josh:I would cast Dancing Lights, but that's Concentration now for some reason.

Noah:Some of the choices made are confusing.

Josh:So...

Mike:Thank you.

Noah:Oh, gosh.

Tanner:Not a very fancy map.

Tanner:What are you going to do?

Noah:So many.

Tanner:OK, I need to roll some initiative.

Tanner:They're lethal.

Noah:Oh, these fools.

Jorge:Okay.

Noah:They've clustered.

Josh:hmm hmm

Tanner:OK.

Tanner:Oh, that's good.

Mike:Adult.

Mike:That's such a terrifying fucking name.

Tanner:I could have said Kruthik.

Mike:No, I know, but I know what it is.

Tanner:It's the adult Kruthik.

Noah:Oh, God.

Mike:It's just scary.

Mike:It's like small, small, small.

Mike:Adult.

Tanner:My first instinct for the other ones was to write baby, but then that felt inhumane, so I switched it to small.

Jorge:Yeah, I got 12.

Mike:Defenseless infant.

Mike:Please don't kill me one.

Mike:Please don't kill me two.

Tanner:OK, what?

Mike:Crying defenseless child.

Noah:Fireball, geez.

Tanner:All right, where do the initiative rules start?

Tanner:Is that a 12 from the strong?

Jorge:Out of curiosity, is flanking a thing in the standard?

Mike:No.

Josh:No.

Jorge:Because I know that used to be an optional rule, at least.

Mike:I don't think so.

Noah:I think they officially got rid of it, sadly.

Josh:I don't even think it's an optional rule anymore.

Tanner:Yeah.

Jorge:Okay.

Josh:Yeah, it was in the 2014 DMG, but it's not been in any of the reprinted materials.

Jorge:Gotcha, gotcha.

Tanner:Okay, okay.

Tanner:We're almost there.

Tanner:That took longer than I wanted it to.

Tanner:But it's okay.

Jorge:So if I attack while being in a light house, I have disadvantage.

Noah:you

Tanner:Yeah, I guess theoretically with no light source, you're currently blind if you don't have any dark vision.

Jorge:Okay.

Tanner:I would say that at the very least within the Wise's pack, since he's very neurotic about packing things, you would have torches.

Tanner:However, you had not said anything about lighting them just yet.

Jorge:We specifically didn't light them.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:Right.

Jorge:It's not even just that.

Jorge:We're like, oops, we forgot.

Jorge:People were like, no, it's to the dark.

Noah:Oh, no.

Tanner:Okay, so it's the adult's turn first.

Tanner:He approaches the strong

Tanner:and he's going to make two stab attacks on you.

Tanner:The first one... Why is that text so, like... The first one is a 20.

Tanner:Artificial 20.

Jorge:All right, I take two.

Tanner:You are going to take five points of piercing damage.

Noah:Yes, sir.

Tanner:And then it makes a second one.

Tanner:That's a 23 to hit.

Jorge:All switch.

Tanner:And you take, ooh, just four points, which is also two.

Jorge:All switch.

Tanner:And then it's actually Glint's turn.

Jorge:you

Mike:Glint is going to... Oh, right.

Mike:It's not like you move and then you have to use all your movement or none of it.

Mike:So Glint is going to move... I mean, he would have had his hand on Wise because he's blind.

Noah:Okay.

Tanner:Yeah, I'll say that's fine.

Mike:He's going to start fumbling through Wise's bag.

Mike:Can he take an action to find a torch and light it?

Mike:Okay.

Mike:And then let me actually check what I have for bonus actions.

Mike:Yeah, I'm going to cast hacks.

Noah:you you

Tanner:Yeah.

Mike:Oh, wow, I can actually do this for quite some time.

Mike:So up to eight hours.

Mike:Because I'm a warlock, I have two spell slots.

Mike:And they have to be of level 3.

Mike:So I might as well just cast Hex at level 3.

Mike:Which means... Yeah, I'm going to Hex the adult.

Tanner:Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Mike:And I'll use my movement to get an angle.

Tanner:Yeah, sweet.

Tanner:Awesome.

Tanner:Will that be all?

Noah:Oh.

Mike:Yeah, that's all my actions.

Tanner:Okay, that brings us to Amada.

Josh:I was hoping the smalls would get together so we can cluster a little bit better.

Josh:I'm going to cast Fairy Fire, which is a 20-foot cube, which means I can get one through five, just six isn't too bad.

Tanner:OK, so I need to make some dex saves, I presume.

Josh:I believe so.

Josh:One second.

Josh:Fairy Fire is... Yes, deck saves.

Josh:If they fail, they're shedding Dim Light and people have advantage on attack rolls against them.

Jorge:You could change their colors if they get affected.

Tanner:Yeah, so let's see.

Noah:Oh.

Tanner:Jeez, how are we going to keep track of this?

Tanner:Yeah, I can also give them like a little mark, I think, too.

Tanner:Okay, so number one is a 20.

Josh:DC 16.

Josh:That's success.

Tanner:Number two is a six.

Josh:Fails.

Tanner:Okay, if I put an X in this, how does that look?

Tanner:Do we see the X?

Noah:No.

Josh:No.

Tanner:We don't see the X.

Josh:I don't see an X. Oh.

Noah:I can't see the letter X. It's genetic.

Tanner:Oh, what have I done?

Josh:That's a problem.

Mike:There's more of us.

Jorge:Thank you.

Noah:Yep.

Tanner:Oh, no.

Mike:Who are those people with us?

Noah:Who are they?

Mike:How terrifying would it be if just two of us came out of the shadows like, guys, we're here to... I see small 2x.

Tanner:Oh, God.

Tanner:Schmeppy Y. Okay.

Tanner:I'll put the X there.

Tanner:If I put the X there, do you see it?

Tanner:Oh, my gosh.

Josh:We see no Xs.

Josh:Oh, in the name, in the name.

Mike:Yeah.

Josh:Yes, I do see an X in the name.

Noah:Yeah, multi-reqs.

Josh:Can you not just change the color of the token to like purple or something?

Tanner:I could probably, but I don't want to.

Mike:Just letting you know that.

Tanner:Alright, number 3 is another 20.

Josh:Okay.

Tanner:Wow.

Josh:That succeeds.

Tanner:Number 4 is a 15.

Tanner:Ooh.

Josh:Fails.

Tanner:He's going to need an axe, ain't he?

Josh:Also fails.

Tanner:And then number 5 is a 9.

Josh:So 2, 4, and 5 are all glowing, and everybody has advantage on... Is it melee attacks or all attacks?

Mike:That's all.

Josh:Just attack rolls against the affected creature have advantage.

Josh:Also, I don't know if there's anything invisible in that cube, but if there was, they're visible now.

Tanner:Totally epic.

Tanner:Nothing becomes visible that wasn't previously.

Tanner:Anything else?

Josh:Okay.

Josh:Now that's my turn.

Tanner:I'll pass it over to the wise.

Noah:Oh, thank God.

Noah:I was so worried they were going to go before me.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:This is unfortunate for me.

Noah:I have not cast Mage Armor today.

Noah:I just look at them and go, and cast Fireball.

Tanner:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tanner:I assume that can hit all of them.

Noah:So they all... It's a 20-foot radius, which is crazy.

Josh:Oh, yeah.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:Oh, yeah.

Tanner:Okay, I'm going to make some deck saves.

Noah:DC 17.

Tanner:You can roll damage, although I'm not sure it's going to...

Noah:150, which is also, that's still crazy.

Mike:Doesn't it also have a range of like 500 feet?

Mike:Okay, 150.

Josh:That's way more reasonable.

Noah:That was a pretty good roll.

Tanner:That's a 30 total.

Tanner:That is a really good roll.

Tanner:That roll is so good that their 15 HP is half of it, so it doesn't matter if they succeed or fail.

Josh:Why did I fairy fire them then?

Noah:So I just turn around.

Noah:I just kind of go, what are those?

Noah:And they all light up like Christmas lights.

Jorge:Chet Twins.

Noah:And I go, what?

Noah:And they're gone.

Tanner:So they are absolutely torched.

Tanner:Is there anything else on your turn?

Noah:I'm going to...

Noah:I'm gonna run in between Ahmad and Strong to hide.

Tanner:Very nice, very nice.

Tanner:That brings us to the Smalls turns, which is still relevant.

Noah:Oh no.

Josh:Oh.

Tanner:Because in some of the small holes that immediately surround you, two of them emerge.

Tanner:I'm not going to give them the small name.

Tanner:They're just going to be red dots.

Tanner:But one emerges here next to Glint.

Mike:it doesn't because glint didn't take his shield out too many

Tanner:And then the other one runs up to Amada.

Noah:Thank you.

Tanner:And they are each going to make a stab attack.

Tanner:First, we'll go against Glint.

Tanner:That's a 15 to hit.

Jorge:Good.

Tanner:Oh, that's so tough.

Tanner:You're going to take four points of piercing damage.

Tanner:And then to Amada.

Josh:Wait, what do you mean he didn't take his shield out?

Noah:you

Josh:Do you not just have it equipped?

Mike:guess it could be.

Mike:I don't know.

Mike:I didn't think I... Yeah.

Josh:You don't need the shield raise action in D&D.

Tanner:Yeah, if a shield is part of your... Like, you're holding, what, a staff and a shield?

Tanner:Is that kind of your standard combat?

Tanner:So I would say you have your shield out.

Mike:Okay, so that doesn't hit.

Jorge:I guess another dangerous is in this hole.

Jorge:Conor McGregor walks into the hole.

Tanner:That does mean that you don't two-hand your staff, though.

Mike:Oh, yeah, yeah.

Mike:No.

Tanner:Yeah, okay.

Mike:The rolls for my staff earlier were one-handed because they were 1d6.

Tanner:Okay, okay.

Mike:Yeah.

Tanner:Very well.

Tanner:So then that misses you with the shield.

Mike:Yeah.

Tanner:Okay.

Tanner:To Amada, it is a 19 to hit.

Josh:That is my AC.

Tanner:Oh, so you're going to take five points of piercing damage as it becomes Strong's turn.

Josh:Oof, ouch, owie.

Jorge:My turn.

Jorge:After it just scratched me.

Jorge:And I'm going to recklessly attack at the adult.

Tanner:Hell yeah.

Jorge:24 to hit.

Tanner:Oh, yeah.

Jorge:Alright.

Noah:Okay.

Jorge:24 points of damage.

Tanner:Nice.

Tanner:Very nice.

Jorge:And, uh, you need to make a DC, uh, a constitution saving, you need to make a constitution roll.

Jorge:DC, 8 plus 3 plus 3.

Mike:Oh, Hex also lets me pick something.

Jorge:14.

Mike:I would have asked, like, lets me pick one of the rolls that gives them one of the saving throws and they have disadvantage on it.

Mike:I would have asked what everyone would prefer because I don't have anything for saving throws.

Jorge:I'm not going to grapple him.

Tanner:Is it saving throws in this edition?

Tanner:Because it used to just be ability checks.

Mike:Oh, no, you're correct.

Mike:The target has disadvantage on ability checks made with the chosen ability.

Mike:You're right, okay.

Josh:Saves are not considered ability checks in 5e.

Mike:That makes sense.

Mike:In that case, ability checks?

Mike:What is more useful, dex or strength?

Jorge:I think I'm better at attacking.

Mike:I don't know.

Mike:Come back to me.

Tanner:It's kind of a niche part of the hex, to be honest with you.

Tanner:But I was making a con save, is that correct?

Jorge:Yes.

Jorge:DC 15.

Tanner:I failed.

Jorge:Alright, he's on the ground.

Jorge:He got toppled.

Jorge:Do I then get an advantage on this next hit?

Jorge:I already have an advantage.

Tanner:You already have advantage.

Noah:Okay.

Tanner:27 also hits.

Tanner:Hell yeah.

Tanner:15.

Jorge:So I don't have my big buying attack for this one now.

Jorge:So just 15.

Jorge:You know what?

Jorge:Yeah, just 15.

Mike:Thank you.

Tanner:It is bloody, bloody.

Tanner:Is that the end of your turn?

Tanner:That brings us back to the adult.

Tanner:I'm going to make a roll to see if any other creatures were attracted by the noise and the heat of the fireball.

Noah:Oh no, I forgot they are attracted to eat.

Josh:Oh no, he established that earlier and we all just kind of ignored it.

Noah:Oh no, I messed up guys.

Tanner:I've rolled a number.

Tanner:This one is going to just continue to attack strong.

Noah:Oh no.

Tanner:It does stand up.

Jorge:Does he stand up?

Jorge:Is that... It did in the old one.

Noah:I don't think in this, not in this game.

Tanner:I don't think it does.

Tanner:It just... Yeah.

Jorge:I don't know.

Jorge:It's not a movement, right?

Josh:Opportunity attack is specifically only if they leave your reach.

Josh:That's the only time you can do them.

Jorge:Leave or use a movement action.

Tanner:Just leave.

Josh:No.

Jorge:Oh.

Tanner:There are some abilities that let you do it when someone enters.

Jorge:Okay.

Tanner:I think that's the Sentinel feat.

Tanner:But yeah, just the move action concept is not really a thing here.

Tanner:Anyway, the first roll is an 18 to hit you.

Jorge:that gets picked up too.

Tanner:And you're going to take 5 points of piercing damage.

Tanner:And then the second is a 15 to hit.

Jorge:That's my AC.

Tanner:That's another 5 points of piercing damage.

Tanner:Rolling very lowly on this die.

Tanner:It's not very high to begin with, but... That is its turn.

Tanner:It's now Glynn's turn.

Mike:Glint, being the class act that he is, will act out in class.

Mike:No, Glint is going to cast Misty Step behind the adult, and he will use Dreadful Step.

Tanner:Oh my god.

Noah:Hmm.

Mike:So creatures within five feet of the space that I left have to make a Wisdom saving throw or take 2d10 Psychic.

Mike:Don't get close to me, bro.

Tanner:Okay.

Mike:Don't get close to me.

Tanner:I got a five.

Mike:So a 5 fails.

Mike:Critically, I might add.

Mike:But that doesn't do anything here.

Mike:So it's 2d10.

Mike:4.

Mike:Take that.

Tanner:No, you could... Oh, yeah, you have two beams.

Mike:And then for my actual action, because that Misty Step was a bonus action,

Noah:Thank you.

Mike:I'm going to fire three beams at the adult.

Mike:Actually, no.

Mike:No, no, no.

Mike:I'll fire three.

Mike:We'll see how many beams.

Mike:Do I have to pick a single target?

Mike:No.

Mike:We'll see how many beams if I can kill this small guy.

Jorge:I thought you only had two.

Mike:Sorry, two beams.

Mike:Two beams.

Mike:Yeah.

Tanner:So who are you attacking first?

Mike:The small guy.

Tanner:Okay.

Mike:17.

Tanner:17 hits.

Mike:damage.

Noah:you

Mike:27.

Tanner:It is bloodied, but it lives.

Mike:So close to a crit.

Tanner:Yeah.

Jorge:Okay.

Mike:6.

Tanner:That'll do it.

Mike:I love rolling 2s on a DT.

Mike:Does it?

Tanner:Yeah, the little guy up top is slain.

Mike:Hell yeah.

Tanner:He's pretty slick with it, I have to agree.

Mike:He's slick with it.

Mike:He's nice with it.

Noah:Having learned from my mistake, I will...

Mike:He just teleported away, did damage, and fired off two shots and killed him.

Mike:And that's all his actions.

Tanner:All right, I'll let Amada go.

Mike:I guess he has movement, but yeah.

Tanner:Very well.

Josh:I'm just going to bless my three compatriots.

Tanner:Then that brings us to the whys.

Tanner:I think you could shoot from where you are.

Noah:Do I have to step around my brother if I want to do a spell attack roll, or can I shoot, like, between his legs?

Noah:Then having learned from my previous mistakes, I will go, guys, don't use fire!

Noah:And then I will pull out a little chunk of ice, and I'll go, ooh, ooh, cold, cold, cold!

Noah:And then I will fire off a third-level chromatic orb at this guy.

Tanner:Oh, yeah.

Tanner:Here we go.

Tanner:Sure.

Josh:who have time.

Noah:And I'm blessed right now.

Noah:I'm hashtag blessed.

Mike:Hashtag blessed.

Noah:Oh, I got a 24 to hit.

Noah:So I think that's... Oh my gosh, that's a lot of damage.

Noah:So that's 5d8 cold damage.

Noah:That's 20 points of freezing.

Jorge:Bye.

Noah:Oh, nasty.

Tanner:That'll do it.

Tanner:You slay this adult Kruthik.

Tanner:The burst of ice hits it kind of under its head, kind of in the neck region, and it freezes up and then kind of shatters, and the head is detached now from the rest of the body.

Noah:I think that's all I will do.

Noah:I end my turn.

Noah:Oh.

Tanner:Okay, it's the small guy's turn.

Tanner:One more, having been attracted by the explosion, does emerge up from the top, and it is going to go for you, the wise.

Tanner:And then the other one is going to attack Amada.

Noah:Goodness.

Tanner:But against the wise is a 17.

Noah:I will go and use Silvery Barbs.

Tanner:I'll roll again.

Tanner:So I rolled a 19 on that one.

Noah:And I will give the strong advantage on his next attack.

Jorge:Okay.

Tanner:Does that mean it goes back to the 17?

Noah:Yes, but either way, that would hit.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:Apologies about that.

Tanner:You take four points of piercing damage.

Noah:you you

Tanner:And then against Amada...

Tanner:Oh, that's a 21 to hit.

Tanner:I'm rolling so high on these to hits.

Josh:I'm going to kill me again.

Tanner:That's 5 points of damage.

Tanner:Piercing.

Josh:Oof, ouch, ouch.

Tanner:And it is the Strong's turn.

Jorge:I just want to test something.

Josh:Oh, sorry.

Josh:One second.

Josh:I have to make a con save.

Tanner:Oh, I don't even know why.

Tanner:Oh, yeah.

Josh:Concentration.

Josh:Unmaintained lesson.

Mike:God bless.

Josh:You just attacked me.

Tanner:I do know why.

Noah:Oh.

Tanner:You're totally right.

Josh:Sorry, continue.

Jorge:Strong, with like a burst of like little bits of like frozen ice on his face.

Jorge:Maul attack, uh, small ring, stay with ice.

Tanner:Yeah, totally.

Jorge:Reckless.

Jorge:Oh, uh, yeah, that's a deal.

Jorge:Uh, yes.

Tanner:15 misses.

Jorge:Fifteen.

Jorge:Alright.

Noah:you you

Tanner:Your strike glances off its chitin.

Jorge:I will attack again.

Josh:What about math?

Mike:Thank you.

Jorge:I will use my Zealots smite.

Tanner:No map.

Tanner:21 does hit.

Noah:um um

Tanner:Oh, yeah.

Tanner:You smush it just completely.

Tanner:Nice.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:As I wipe it off, just backwards smack it.

Jorge:And then I will... I will get to that space.

Tanner:Very good.

Jorge:That's my turn.

Tanner:That brings us back up to the adult nearby that heard and was attracted to the fireball.

Noah:Oh, no.

Tanner:I am going to make a roll to see who it's going to go for.

Tanner:I have a d20 in my hand, so we're going to do like 1 through 5, 5 through 10.

Mike:Alphabetical.

Tanner:18 is Glint.

Mike:Alphabetical.

Tanner:So one of the small basketball-sized holes you hear crunching and cracking and churning as it bursts open much wider as one of the adult Kruthik emerges.

Tanner:And we will give him the name Adult because he's earned it.

Tanner:And it will make two strikes against you.

Tanner:The first one is a 12.

Mike:Does not hit.

Tanner:And then the second one is a 13.

Mike:Does not hit.

Tanner:So it comes out and it has its claws.

Tanner:It's trying to go at you, but smart man, you packed your shield.

Jorge:Thank you.

Josh:You can just move around it.

Mike:And it's too old to hit you.

Mike:It's feeble strikes.

Mike:Don't penetrate your arm.

Tanner:And that brings us actually to you, Glint.

Mike:what is it it's not stepping I guess we'll just I'm gonna bonus yeah okay but it's an action unless I'm like a rogue that can do it as a bonus action yeah we'll just punish

Noah:you

Josh:You can take an action to disengage.

Tanner:Yeah, the disengage action.

Tanner:Yeah.

Mike:because I don't want to provoke an attack of opportunity to get far enough to where my Eldritch Blast don't have disadvantage.

Mike:Oh, actually... Yeah.

Tanner:I believe you can move your hex as a bonus action.

Tanner:Is that a thing?

Mike:But I'm trying to think, because I have my Pact of the Rodkeeper out, which I'm using to cast Eldritch Blast and whatnot.

Mike:I don't have the quarterstaff.

Mike:I think the Pact of the Rodkeeper would be improvised.

Mike:Like, it's not the same thing.

Noah:You.

Tanner:Oh, fascinating.

Mike:So can I...

Mike:Can I drop my Pact of the Rod Keeper?

Tanner:I think I read in the new rules that you can draw an attack in one action.

Josh:I believe that at the start of your turn you can draw any weapon as part of your attack action.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:So you can drop it and pull the quarterstaff and attack.

Mike:Okay.

Mike:I see.

Josh:That's one thing.

Mike:Drop it as the free, pull an attack with the quarterstaff.

Tanner:Sure.

Mike:That works.

Mike:And I will...

Josh:Also, it is a Rod of the Pact Keeper, not Pact of the Rod Keeper.

Tanner:Is that what he said?

Josh:As fun as that is.

Mike:I know what I said.

Tanner:I didn't even process that.

Josh:Okay.

Tanner:I just... You do have the transcripts.

Josh:He's in there like five times, too.

Mike:First attack.

Josh:I have the transcripts.

Noah:Oh, no.

Tanner:That's right.

Jorge:a lot yeah

Tanner:I haven't looked at them at all.

Mike:Second attack.

Mike:A 13 and a 23.

Tanner:The 23 hits.

Mike:Perfect.

Mike:I'd like to kill.

Mike:So this is going to be 1d6 plus

Josh:You should have added a d4 to that 13 as well.

Josh:I don't know if that would affect the...

Mike:Oh.

Tanner:Oh, yeah, roll a d4.

Mike:Well, let's see.

Tanner:14's not going to do it.

Mike:There's a four.

Mike:Okay, that's fine.

Mike:So the second attack is going to be a Shmite.

Mike:I moved the Hex as a bonus action.

Tanner:Yep.

Mike:So it's 1d6 plus 4 plus it's 1 and then plus 1 for each level of the spell, so it's 4d8 and then plus 1d6

Tanner:Classic.

Mike:for the hex 28.

Mike:Yes.

Tanner:I can see why you consider it punishing.

Mike:I'm slowly realizing that I can optimize this build a little bit more.

Mike:if I do a couple of things.

Mike:But I think it was good to remove the plus one from the staff and put it on the rod because it's more consistent damage.

Mike:And I only really want to hit on one of the melees on my turn because I'm going to smite.

Tanner:Well, it's bloodied.

Tanner:That's for darn sure.

Mike:Perfect.

Mike:And then I do have my move action.

Mike:But I kind of don't want to spend my... Yeah, no, we'll let it do whatever it's going to do.

Noah:Thank you.

Mike:I'll chill.

Tanner:You hold firm and it passes to Amada.

Josh:I would like to just lean over and tap the guy near me and cast Inflict Wounds at third level.

Tanner:Yeah, yeah.

Josh:So he has done a con save.

Jorge:I hope you didn't mean strong or vice.

Tanner:Oh, I do need to make a con save.

Tanner:I think that it's going to fail.

Tanner:I got a 16.

Tanner:I apologize about that.

Josh:That is, I think, my... Yeah, that is my DC.

Noah:you

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:So he takes half.

Josh:So he takes six points of necrotic damage.

Tanner:Yeah, that's kind of crazy.

Josh:And that's not worth a third-level spell.

Tanner:Excuse me.

Josh:Bless you.

Jorge:They're going to have to call out a work sick, then.

Tanner:Thanks.

Mike:Bless them.

Tanner:Oh, I might do it again.

Mike:Don't.

Josh:I'd rather...

Josh:dammit Tanner nope

Tanner:I don't think... Anyway.

Tanner:Amada, would you like to do anything else?

Tanner:All right, the whys.

Tanner:I kind of like Zen and Zell also.

Noah:All right.

Noah:Gosh.

Noah:Flanking is not a rule.

Noah:I have one more third-level spell slot, and I'm going to use it.

Jorge:There's definitely not more in this tunnel.

Josh:Fireball again.

Jorge:Definitely not a bunch sitting on the weave.

Jorge:No.

Noah:Fireball.

Noah:I only see one.

Noah:I am the wise.

Noah:No, at first level, I will Chromatic Orb this guy.

Noah:Cold Chromatic Orb.

Tanner:The adult or the small one?

Noah:Sorry, the adult.

Noah:This guy being the adult.

Tanner:Got it.

Noah:Are we still blessed?

Noah:Did that fade?

Josh:Nope, that's still happening.

Noah:Uh, 15.

Noah:Uh, the ice cube slips out of my hand at the last moment, and I miss.

Tanner:A 15 does not hit.

Tanner:Their armor...

Mike:Your aged hands cannot grasp me.

Noah:I'm not good at that.

Tanner:I don't think they're that old.

Tanner:Shoot, is that going to be all from you?

Noah:Uh... Gosh, I'm much lower on spell slots than I thought I was.

Noah:Uh...

Noah:yeah i guess so

Tanner:The small is going to go.

Tanner:No more emerge, but this one is going to make an attack on the strong.

Tanner:That's a 16 to hit.

Jorge:That's more than any of the banks did.

Tanner:It deals... Oh, pretty good roll.

Tanner:Six points of piercing damage.

Tanner:Half it to three.

Tanner:That's so funny.

Tanner:It has a smaller damage die.

Tanner:Um... That is its turn.

Tanner:It's now your turn, Strong.

Jorge:So I have... Has this thing been bloodied at all?

Tanner:Uh, the adult is bloodied, the little guy is not.

Jorge:Okay.

Jorge:Not wanting a glint to take too much damage from the big guy, Strong is going to move.

Noah:Thank you.

Jorge:Oops, sorry.

Jorge:So he's going to not move, just to clarify.

Jorge:He is going to Cloud's Jaunt and teleport.

Josh:Hmm.

Jorge:right next to it, aura farming, holding the mine with both hands, and then just smack down.

Tanner:Hell yeah.

Mike:The adult is between two aura farmers of the highest caliber.

Mike:He's like, I'm fucked.

Mike:This guy did a backflip and shot my child twice in the head.

Mike:Like, we're fucked, dude.

Mike:Why does everything I'm fighting can teleport?

Tanner:That hits.

Jorge:I'm going to use my Zealots thing.

Jorge:So it's good for you.

Mike:to use my solid ability where i can remove its head just no matter the hit points no matter the hit oh yeah that's right if you roll like a 20 or something

Josh:That's a vorpal sword.

Josh:That's a thing that exists.

Jorge:19.

Josh:I don't know if that's actually a thing in 5e.

Josh:I know it used to be if you crit with a vorpal sword and they had a head and you killed them.

Jorge:19 points of damage.

Tanner:You use your attack ability to remove its head.

Jorge:Well, I have a moss.

Noah:Okay.

Tanner:Yeah, you probably crush its head instead.

Jorge:I grab it by the head as it's facing my friend, and then I smash the neck part.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:Nasty, nasty.

Jorge:And then now I will use my move action to go back.

Jorge:And then I'll use my second attack there.

Tanner:Oh, yeah.

Jorge:27.

Jorge:16.

Noah:Thank you.

Josh:I was going to say you have a T4 there too, but you don't need to.

Jorge:I didn't use any smite things.

Tanner:Yeah, that's going to be enough.

Tanner:You absolutely smooshed this one.

Jorge:When I say, hey, over here, and I toss it at the adult's head first so it looks up, and then I just smash.

Jorge:Yeah.

Tanner:Insult to injury.

Tanner:Insult to fatal blow?

Mike:The rest of the group is like, I didn't realize they were so fucking cool, dude.

Mike:Oh my god.

Mike:Amada's old bones creaked as he's impressed with them.

Jorge:laughter laughter

Tanner:I love adding flavor to the game.

Mike:I want to make an old character just so I can fucking contextualize everything as I'm being old.

Josh:Mike wants to play a middle schooler and an octogenarian and nothing in the middle.

Mike:I think I could do the middle schooler.

Mike:It's just like my lack of experience doesn't allow me to perceive that well.

Mike:My small, feeble child hands miss the armor.

Noah:Lack of experience and let me perceive.

Josh:Yeah.

Tanner:You tensely stand there, Glint holding your shield, of course, at the ready.

Tanner:The rest of you, your weapons and spell components out, but you listen, and the sounds of scraping in your immediate vicinity are no more, and you feel that whatever you've attracted from this area has been dealt with.

Jorge:Strong is not tense.

Jorge:Excellent.

Noah:Good job, team.

Tanner:Yes.

Tanner:And I think that I'm going to call it there for the time being.

Tanner:And we'll pick up next time.

Tanner:Right.

Jorge:Yeah.

Mike:Very nice, very nice.

Mike:Reintroduction of 5e is very fun.

Josh:Get used to it still.

Tanner:Yeah, a little bit of rust.

Noah:Yeah, it's very difficult going back here after three actions.

Tanner:A little bit of rust.

Mike:It is nice, though, because it's kind of like, all right, you got one action.

Mike:You don't have to think too hard about it.

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:It is substantially easier to try and figure out what you're going to do because you can do one thing.

Tanner:Right.

Noah:But also, the turns feel worse when you just whiff, because you're like, that was my one thing.

Tanner:Yeah.

Josh:Spells are a whole lot more safer suck in 5e than they are in Pathfinder.

Jorge:The nice part, though, check it out.

Josh:There aren't, like, levels of success like there are with Pathfinder spells.

Noah:The balance on all the spells, it's crazy going back to 5e spells.

Tanner:Yeah, for sure.

Noah:It's like, oh, you have 3,000 feet, and it does 806d6 damage, and it's a level 2 spell.

Josh:The flip side is I upcast a level 3 spell so that it would be as powerful as I'm realizing now a cantrip I have.

Josh:So... Inflict Wounds.

Jorge:They really nerfed harm, though.

Josh:It's not even nerfed.

Noah:Really that's.

Mike:How much damage does it do?

Jorge:I thought he used to do detents.

Josh:Inflict Wounds is 2d10 versus my Toll the Dead, which does 2d12.

Josh:The only difference being is that if they succeed on the... What?

Tanner:Did you roll... Didn't you upcast it?

Tanner:Did you not roll enough?

Josh:I did.

Tanner:Is it not 3d10 base?

Josh:I upcasted it to 3d10.

Josh:But then it got halved.

Tanner:What is it at level 1?

Josh:2d10.

Josh:It's level 2.

Josh:Oh, shoot.

Josh:Is it not a second level spell?

Josh:Did I miss a die?

Jorge:That was one, yeah, because of the counter.

Josh:Oh, well.

Josh:I missed a die.

Tanner:You could expend a lower level spell slot if you like.

Josh:Okay, sure.

Josh:It didn't really affect the flow of battle that much.

Josh:And I mean...

Josh:My character is not an attacking character, to be fair.

Josh:I came in with the impression that I might need to heal somebody, but as it turns out, you guys are too strong.

Josh:That's just not really a problem so far.

Jorge:I'll need to be healed once I get low.

Josh:Nope.

Noah:How many hip joints do you have?

Josh:Once you get low... Which is a functional, what, like, 154?

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:77.

Jorge:If they're doing piercing, yeah.

Jorge:Piercing, bludgeoning, slashing.

Noah:Wild.

Mike:I need some healing.

Jorge:And then I get a 5d12 healing.

Josh:My best healing ability requires you to be bloodied.

Josh:Are you bloodied?

Jorge:I'm at 16.

Josh:Yeah.

Mike:Bloodied is half.

Mike:Checking in a bit.

Josh:Okay.

Noah:Hey, Josh, what kind of cleric are you?

Josh:Life.

Jorge:yeah i also get um so i get 5d12

Tanner:Oh, right.

Tanner:Was it Preserve Life?

Tanner:Is that the...

Josh:Yeah, Preserve Life lets me take 30 hit points and divvy it up amongst people, but the people I can divvy it amongst need to be bloodied, and I can only get them up to bloodied.

Noah:Oh, cool.

Josh:I mean, I can cast Cure Wounds, it's just one of them's a spell slot and one of them's effectively for free.

Mike:Oh.

Mike:Makes sense.

Jorge:that I can use to heal myself as a bonus action, which is nice.

Josh:That is handy.

Jorge:And I get three teleports with the cloud of giants.

Mike:Yeah, how about that?

Mike:Is your teleports a bonus action?

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:What ability lets you do that?

Jorge:I get three bonus.

Mike:Where is that?

Jorge:It's my, um... I'm from, like, a cloud Giant alive.

Josh:Oh, it's your species.

Jorge:So there's... Yeah, so I was gonna do either that one, or there's the stone one, which gives me... Based off that, I think there's...

Josh:30 feet.

Jorge:But I figured it's more flavorful to be able to... Hello.

Mike:There's a Goliath that gets you three teleports.

Mike:How far can the teleport go?

Jorge:30 feet.

Noah:Yeah, New Goliath is kind of cranked.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:I was going to play Minotaur, but I'd really been wanting to play Minotaur.

Jorge:They're just... Every game, they're bad.

Jorge:Like, they're bad in the old 5e, they're bad in the new 5e, they're not good in Pathfinder.

Jorge:They're really bad in Pathfinder, actually.

Jorge:They're a large creature without the reach.

Jorge:So they're just really bad.

Noah:Bro, but if you were in ancient Greece and in a labyrinth, everyone's going to be really scared of you.

Jorge:Yeah.

Josh:which which and also in 5e there is a setting that is ancient greece with a maze so it makes sense like they had a whole source book that was just ancient greece so

Tanner:For sure.

Jorge:Wait, I think I played in one screenshot, and it was a maze that helped me get it.

Mike:the 8th level, sorry, 8th rank Pathfinder spell maze just doesn't work on the Minotaurs.

Jorge:I don't think it does, actually.

Jorge:I think there's a... Yeah.

Mike:No, I believe it is.

Mike:I think it's just funny that it's just like, you see a Minotaur, you're like, I'm gonna, oh no, I spent an 8th level, like, or, oh no, today I prepared maze, if you're like a wizard or something.

Noah:What's funny is that the specific bit of lore about a Minotaur being in the maze is like an Earth thing.

Mike:Yeah, my...

Noah:But in Pathfinder, they're also really good at mazes.

Noah:But that doesn't make sense without the Earth lore.

Noah:Unless it's like kind of a racist thing that Minotaur is just real good at mazes.

Josh:Well, in Pathfinder, Minotaurs can put people into mazes.

Noah:Oh.

Josh:So you can take an Ancestry feat at 17th level that lets you cast Quandary.

Tanner:So they have an ambiguous connection to mazes.

Jorge:There's like minotaur school that everyone has to go to.

Mike:So they took... So they took... Well, no, they took their stereotype back.

Josh:So Quandary normally puts people into a puzzle room, but when you cast it as a Minotaur, it's a maze instead.

Josh:Yeah.

Mike:They're like, if you guys think we're fucking good with them, I'm going to put you... Yeah, the...

Noah:Call in a minute.

Noah:It's our lady.

Jorge:There's just like mazes and stuff.

Jorge:This is a fun setting though.

Mike:The class, so I get my bonus action Misty Step as a class ability.

Mike:But I get them equal to my Charisma modifier.

Mike:And I get, I think I'm at four or five different things.

Mike:So I'm at four.

Mike:So one of the things that I did was like, they have to make a will save or they take 2d10 psychic.

Mike:I can also give one creature 1d10 temp hit points.

Mike:I can make them whiz save or have disadvantage on attack rolls on anyone not me for the next turn.

Noah:That's real cool.

Mike:And then... What was the last one?

Mike:Oh, yeah.

Mike:One of them, I just become invisible until the start of my next turn.

Mike:Yeah.

Mike:And also, I can use it as a reaction.

Mike:So if I take damage, I can Misty Step 30 feet as a reaction, and then also do any of those four things.

Jorge:How many smites do you get?

Mike:It's just spell slots.

Mike:So it's third level, so I have two.

Mike:But there's a one-minute action that I can do once a day that regens half of my spell slots.

Mike:And then Pact of the Pact Pact will give me, I can use an action to regain a Warlock spell slot with that item.

Noah:Wait, wait, wait.

Noah:What was that fact?

Josh:Act of the Pact Pact.

Josh:You heard him.

Mike:Back to the pick-back.

Jorge:yeah yeah

Noah:Okay.

Noah:It's very strange to be a wizard and be like, okay, I have a first level spell.

Noah:Darn.

Noah:I wish I'd prepared it at third level.

Noah:Oh, wait.

Tanner:Just do it.

Noah:Feels like cheating now.

Mike:Well, also, because, like...

Mike:what's the rules for spells prepared in a day?

Mike:Like, you have your spell book, and then you're just like, I don't know, fucking these 20 I might need, and then you just have them.

Noah:Mm-hmm.

Noah:Pretty much.

Noah:The wizard gets a feature where on a short rest, they can swap out a spell.

Noah:But otherwise, just good luck.

Mike:You have to do that.

Mike:You have to subclass into that in Pathfinder, and then you can only swap one at a time with spell substitution.

Noah:Now, 5U Wizards is just like, congrats.

Noah:You're the spellcaster.

Jorge:I'm really happy I played Zugg before we went to Pathfinder.

Josh:Hey, you know the spells?

Jorge:I don't think I would have liked the other pair.

Noah:The other wizard.

Josh:Well... Yeah.

Jorge:I've been trying to get an Alchemist build working, and there's just so much fuck.

Josh:The Remastered Alchemist is supposed to be pretty good.

Jorge:And... Yeah.

Josh:I haven't looked at it, but it's supposedly not terrible.

Jorge:The problem is, like, I looked at this while I was still employed, and I was just like, is it worth my time to learn how this fucking works?

Jorge:And the answer then was no, but, you know, maybe now I should take another look.

Josh:You got some time.

Noah:I think outside of the Animist, it's consistently ranked as the class that requires the most bookkeeping.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:And also, people used to say Thelma Church, because Thelma Church, I think, in the player book, has the most pages.

Jorge:But, like, it's not, I find not that bad, because, like, you only get one implement for first five, and then you get two, and then you get three.

Jorge:It's probably a lot if you read all the implements, but, like, you can just kind of skim them.

Noah:If you go to the Alchemist page on Archives of Nethis, the amount of first-level things that are just walls of text are crazy.

Jorge:But, like, the alchemist, you gotta, like, well, I have this, I have this, I have these other types of liquids, and I have bombs, and I can use these types of liquids.

Jorge:Yeah, it's like overwhelming.

Jorge:And it doesn't have good support in Pathbuilder either.

Jorge:But yeah.

Tanner:Well, that makes it really gross.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:This is a really fun setting though, Tanner.

Noah:Yeah, this is cool.

Tanner:Thank you.

Tanner:Yeah, I... It just kind of struck me and I was like, oh, this is definitely what we're doing.

Noah:Cool.

Mike:It's making me want to have a bit more substance in the setting for my one shot.

Mike:Because last time it was like, you guys are commoners, don't even worry about it.

Mike:And you didn't get to have any fun with the character.

Mike:So I'm trying to think of stuff that makes it fun.

Josh:I mean, you could always steal from one of our settings if you don't want to fully flesh something out.

Noah:What?

Josh:But if you do want to flesh something out...

Jorge:You could even make it... You could even make it a Starfinder.

Mike:No.

Mike:That's not Starfighter.

Mike:No, no, I know.

Jorge:You could make it an arena in space.

Mike:I could come up with more substantial lore and then give you guys some... I mean, you guys will have less wiggle room than making a normal character.

Josh:Thank you.

Mike:Like, in abilities and in backstory.

Mike:But, yeah.

Mike:I don't know.

Mike:I guess wider world building could be done.

Mike:Or maybe not.

Mike:Maybe it's just a very isolated world.

Mike:I don't know.

Mike:I like the sphere and concepts of divinity.

Mike:So maybe there's at least some interaction with that.

Josh:I mean, I'm already trying to figure out with Tanner saying that there are two dead Thessians that I have to add to the tally.

Jorge:These are thessians?

Tanner:Oh, well, okay, so one thing I want to say is if you feel like what I have laid out so far does not fit well with your vision of your universe, right, I had assumed that they were higher kind, not Thessians, but

Josh:So, you know, go wild.

Josh:No, I like it.

Jorge:These aren't higher kind.

Mike:Okay.

Noah:yeah this is this is

Josh:You named them after Thessians, so I figured that was on purpose.

Tanner:Oh, are these both the names of the... Okay.

Jorge:I don't know.

Josh:Vigil is.

Josh:I think Slumber is too, but Vigil definitely is.

Josh:So I assumed that that was on purpose.

Tanner:That was... That was not on purpose at all.

Josh:If it's not meant to be on purpose, that's fine.

Josh:Okay.

Tanner:I did not mean to kill... I did not mean to kill any of your Thessians offscreen.

Josh:No, I really like that.

Josh:It's like, listen, if you want to kill a Thessian, the answers are find a golden needle or become the DM of your own one-shot and kill him off that way.

Josh:That's very in-narrative.

Josh:That works.

Mike:in the backstory for mine, it's just going to be a paragraph of, like, and then they killed Blatt, and then they killed Blatt, and then they killed Blatt, and then just make Josh add, like, a hundred dead Thessians, and then there's going to be no substance.

Jorge:It's like starward credits, but like...

Mike:Yeah, it's literally just, like, enumerating dead Thessians, and then it's, like, you're a commoner.

Mike:Like, that's just... What if I should start writing, like,

Tanner:After they absorbed the power of all three Echo Fragments...

Josh:Okay.

Mike:like, I don't know, text like story.

Mike:And it's just like, and then he goes to, and then just like intersects horrifically with the campaign or campaign three story.

Tanner:What's funny to me about all of this is, when I was writing this, I was doing some research on what's canon about crystal spheres and whatnot, and I'm not sure if they can actually break or not, but I was like, whatever, this one's breaking.

Jorge:Oh yeah, it did crack it.

Josh:I mean, the one and all thing was breaking.

Josh:So... Yeah, no, it's totally... But...

Tanner:So, well, there you go.

Tanner:But in my mind, I was like, oh, if this doesn't fit with Josh's world, it's fine.

Tanner:I was not expecting the visual thing to be the point of contention.

Noah:Well, didn't we watch the lighthouse break off a part of the Færrin crystal sphere?

Noah:Like, punch a hole in it?

Josh:I'm sorry, you're still just postulating things right now.

Noah:I can't remember the exact wording on that, but in my head, like a Giant mechanical boxing glove came out of the lighthouse.

Josh:You haven't confirmed that for sure, but yes, you absolutely did.

Mike:Can you send?

Tanner:Thanks, Josh.

Tanner:Is there a slumber on there, too?

Josh:I'm looking.

Josh:I don't remember.

Josh:I think no, but we can add that in retroactively.

Jorge:What?

Josh:That's fine.

Tanner:Or we could just have this coincidentally be a different vigil.

Josh:Yeah, that's it.

Josh:Listen, there are two brokers, so... So I don't think Slumber is one.

Noah:Yes.

Tanner:Well, that to me is like anyone on any world could think of that and be like, what is my mob boss name going to be?

Mike:I break stuff.

Tanner:And they're like, yeah, broker sounds pretty badass.

Mike:They call me the broker.

Josh:I do like the idea of these being Thessians, though, so I hope you don't mind if I just make them Thessians.

Tanner:That's okay.

Tanner:Sure.

Josh:What?

Josh:Great.

Mike:Yeah, Josh, can you send me a text file of all the original...

Josh:I could.

Josh:I'm not going to.

Josh:Yeah, you have to, if you want to do this, you have to go through the work, because there's no way that OCR is going to work on that word bubble.

Noah:But it's for his backstory.

Mike:You're going to make me transcribe it just like.

Noah:I can't believe it.

Josh:Type it up yourself.

Mike:I'll just ask Chad GPT or Gemini.

Mike:Just like, give me all the names in this.

Mike:Don't mess up.

Noah:Don't mess up.

Josh:Because it would mess up otherwise.

Mike:Is Jorge frozen?

Noah:The way to make air.

Josh:Yes, I believe he is.

Mike:OK.

Josh:He's just been very still.

Mike:I thought he was, and I was like, man, is he OK?

Noah:I always thought he was amazing.

Noah:It's like, wow, Jorge is unmoving over there.

Josh:He's being still.

Josh:You can't see.

Mike:Maybe one of the cats has been gnawing on his ethernet, and it wasn't actually defective.

Josh:Oh, he's back.

Mike:He plugs a new one in.

Mike:Oh, he's back.

Noah:He's returned.

Josh:Good.

Jorge:But yeah, that's fun.

Mike:OK.

Jorge:I think we have the cooler twins in this group.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:Thank you for playing.

Tanner:Thanks for making fun characters.

Noah:I mean, twin gods.

Tanner:Yeah, I guess genetics on Epo are really... So, very interesting.

Jorge:Well, there's twin Decians, so...

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:Pick on twins here.

Noah:One week.

Tanner:I guess we'll meet back here in a week.

Tanner:Thoughts?

Josh:Sounds good to me.

Jorge:Did we level up?

Mike:One week.

Tanner:We don't level up.

Tanner:However, I do intend on leveling up somewhere down the line so you can have that in your brains.

Jorge:Cool.

Josh:I have to pick out what feats I'm taking.

Jorge:Cool.

Jorge:Can I completely respect your coffee lock?

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:No, you're pretty much locked in now.

Josh:I mean, respeccing to a coffee lot right now wouldn't help anyway, because the whole point is you need, like, months of downtime as prep.

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:And I like my guy, so.

Mike:Another invocation.

Noah:wizard stuff fourth level spells that'd be cool wizard stuff um just spells i just bought spells

Jorge:All right.

Josh:Yeah.

Josh:One fourth level spell.

Jorge:Quick question.

Jorge:Where did you guys spend the rest of your $800?

Josh:I had... I bought very little.

Mike:Scroll.

Tanner:Was that a lot?

Tanner:Did that feel like too much?

Mike:Yeah.

Josh:My armor was 750 gold pieces, and then I bought a shield for 10.

Mike:Yeah, a bunch of scrolls of mage armor and then a bunch of health potions because there's nothing that's like, at least for my character, like super useful.

Mike:All the magic items, most of them don't have a price, which means that you can't buy them.

Noah:Yeah.

Jorge:Yeah, so all I could find... I got one uncommon thing, obviously, which was my plus one ball.

Jorge:And then I got a... And then I got a... I got eight greater healing potions because they're each younger.

Josh:What armor are you wearing?

Mike:Wait.

Jorge:Nothing.

Josh:Oh, right, you're a barbarian.

Josh:You don't need armor.

Jorge:Yeah, yeah.

Josh:You just got strong skin.

Jorge:I tried to see what would happen if I put hide armor on and then just like...

Noah:A place.

Jorge:was an AC 12 versus 50.

Jorge:Like, it was the worst.

Josh:You have unarmored defense as a barbarian, right?

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:Yeah, yeah.

Jorge:So I get a... It's my dex plus my con, so I just get a plus five.

Jorge:And then I can't do actions.

Josh:Plus, you're meant to get hit anyway, so...

Jorge:Yeah.

Jorge:And I can't get most things by heavy armor, so... I couldn't find it anywhere, so then I Googled it, and then I just saw one thing that said it cost, so I don't know.

Mike:Wait, what's the source for a potion of greater healing being 100 gold?

Josh:I think Potion of Greater Healing is an uncommon magic item, so it just doesn't have a gold piece value.

Josh:It's up to the DM.

Tanner:I think there's a table for the price of healing potions, but I'm not positive about that.

Jorge:Yeah, if you could send whatever healing questions we're allowed to have and how much they cost, I would just spend my money.

Tanner:Yeah, let me see what I can find on that.

Tanner:And have some...

Mike:Yeah, because I set, like, a filter on 5e tools to the most recent, whatever, DMG, the 24 one, and then, like, any value between, like, two silver and, like, I don't know, whatever gold, so that it only gave me stuff that had a gold value, and I didn't see... All I saw was just normal potions of healing.

Josh:I'm not particularly good at it either.

Tanner:Yeah, I'll message about that, and if you want to rearrange a little bit based on that, that's okay.

Mike:Okay.

Noah:Well, thank you, Tanner.

Tanner:You got it.

Tanner:Josh, thanks for controlling the music.

Tanner:That's never something I've been good at keeping up with, so too many things to think about.

Josh:It's way easier to do it when you're not doing all of the other TM stuff.

Tanner:Yeah.

Tanner:Oh, I'm on the fence about maybe switching over to Foundry.

Josh:I have literally no experience with 5e on Foundry.

Tanner:The only thing I'm really apprehensive about is actually porting the character sheet information.

Tanner:But I don't know.

Josh:It might be super easy to do.

Tanner:Yeah.

Josh:It might not be.

Josh:I can set up a 5e instance.

Josh:and uh you know no sure now i'll uh i'll spin an instance up and then send you a link to it when it's ready

Tanner:Is that of any cost to you?

Tanner:All right.

Tanner:I guess, yeah, if you could share one with me, and maybe I'll fiddle around.

Tanner:Because I think it would be nice to be able to have everything rolled there, and it's very clean in that way.

Tanner:So we'll see.

Tanner:That way, I don't have to have a notebook.

Noah:he is

Tanner:All right.

Tanner:Much appreciated.

Tanner:Good night, guys.

Tanner:See you next week.

Josh:Yep.

Mike:See you.